Pitino

Ok so I'm just loving this Rick Pitino story.

Is not the fact that he big, hardback, 50 something married man, 5 kids, 2 dogs and an all-American picket fence plus not to mention a nice job as a NCAA basketball coach had an extramarital affair. I figure that probably happens more than we know or would like to admit.

Its not that he had the "tryst" with the woman in question at a restaurant after hours on a table with one of his assistants nearby standing guard to make sure no one found out. No is not that even though I wonder where he recruits his staff cause a fella like that must be one in a million since good help is so hard to find these days. I must say this assistant really went beyond the call of duty, way beyond the job description. I wonder if Pitino and the assistant coach use a clipboard to draw up plays before Pitino went into the game so to speak. "Alight Rick we can do this, I want you to be aggressive on offense, cause the clock is ticking down fast. I calling a for a Daggering play with the Ramping shop option."

Its not even that after the woman end up pregnant Pitino gave her $3,000 for an abortion although he claims it was for medical insurance. (Big lie!) No man, he was trying to cover his trail avoid the drama and the backlash that would have come with the coach fathers child after one night stand stories.

No, the one part of the story that puts it way, way over the edge and just got me here laughing is that sometime after the event Pitino's equipment manager married the woman and she alleges that Pitino set that up to keep her quiet.

Damn, damn damn!

Now let me get this right. You marry a woman cause you boss mek you marry she? Wow! This boggles my mind.

All I can say is that Pitino has really upped the ante for all celebrity, big money maker entourages. I mean the assistant keeping watch was bad enough but this. Plus back in the day your random celebrity, big money type, just needed a fella to carry the drugs and a fella to take a fall and claim the unlicensed firearm that went off in the club was his and not yours. And that could have been the same fella cause you could always tie he back with a drugs firearm relationship and make it seem like you Mr random celebrity were still innocent. Now thanks to Pitino you need a fella in your entourage to marry the jump-off (And in case y'all don't know jump off is it is what dese young people duz call women that ya duz have one night stands etc with) to cover your indiscretions.

That is a harder thing to find than a bodyguard cause a fella might not feel a way about catching a bullet for ya but catch a marriage? You know how many fellas would do that? Not many I'm guessing.

Still all seriousness now, I'm wondering how a fellow like Pitino still has a job or at least hasn't been suspended from his job. How does a nice school like Louisville, in a red state like Kentucky, where they always try to give the impression that they have superior morals and they are so prim and proper, at least in public, can still support the man is even more mind boggling to me. And the NCAA, the College Athletics Association, the head authority, how do those guys that will routinely throw the book at a student athlete if he or she take a stick of chewing gum or a free donut from anyone, how can they stand aside so silently on this situation?

And God help us if this situation was with a professional sports player. Lawd a mercy those Authorities would have thrown the book at him long time ago and we would be inundated with comments on his infidelity, his stupidity, his womanizing, his attitude and his sense of entitlement cause he makes big money and he has enablers around him in his entourage. Well I don't think anybody has bigger enablers than Pitino and his take on a sham marriage for the boss staff. So how come he getting a pass?

We would hear how this story reflects badly on which ever sports league the player belong to as well. How come Pitino isn't getting much of that negative press yet? I mean he makes big millions of dollars too, he got a big ego, he in the public eye and clearly he has an enabling entourage. If anything this is worse than the players doing it cause he actually the boss man leading and teaching young students athletes.

So how come they trying to act like this incident is nothing spectacular when this story is bare bacchanal. How they acting like it is par for the course?

I guess is like Animal Farm teach we. All Animals created equal but some just more equal.

Oh happy day

Happy Blogversary to me. 5 years gwan do I get a medal or some sort of gift? I'll settle for a few comments (which have been way scarce these days) to show a brother that some folks actually still read this. You know if I got a few more comments I might actually consider blogging more. Whoops shouldnt have said that watch all the few comments dry up entirely now.

I dare you

De heathen back dey pon de wall.

It was an unspoken challenge. I dare you! If you feel you is a bad john den I dare you.

Me, well I dared not. There was something about the eyes. It spoke a million words. Some feral look which spoke only of my own peril if I made any misstep and took the confrontation further or rather started a confrontation cause in my opinion it wasn't one.....yet but it could easily have been one with the quickness and then what. What was my escape strategy? Was I prepared to go all out over stupidness? Naa those that know me know if I feel its worth it I'll bring the pitbull intensity but otherwise in the words of Redman whatever man.

In a sense I would have felt better though if words had been exchanged, if swearing had ensued. If idle or real threats had been made. Then I could size up what I was facing: Real danger, exaggerated swagger, fake badman/woman, Plexiglas thug. It would have felt less threatening, less dangerous, less like I was going to be in a fight for my life if I didnt just walk away.

And so I moved on. No need for confrontation, not in this place, not with this person I didnt know, not at this time, not over a trivial matter. It was the best move I felt. Save the drama for something that really mattered cause this is how folks get murdered over really silly ish.

Yet it bothered me. One innocent action on my part to protect myself had somehow been misconstrued and taken as a personal offense even though it wasnt. One move, miscalculated on my part because I thought it was so innoculous, so unoffending, that no one would mind and that it wouldnt bother anyone and yet now here I stood faced off with the eyes from hell with the ridiculous response to my actions and the unspoken challenge giving off more intensity than GI Joe #21 (for the uninitiated GI Joe 21 (1984) was this issue done with no words at all but the intensity was surreal. Its a classic).

Well at least I didnt run away, just moved away at my own pace cause although I wasnt trying to intensify the situation I wanted them to know I aint no punk and if they pursued the matter any further I'd have to get igrant. And they wouldn't like me when I'm igrant.

Still some folks are just mad uptight and want to set it off for the slightest reason. I guess you never know what side of the bed folks wake up on or what issues they have ready to let loose on some innocent bystander. Oh well.

Still, I now have a better understanding of some of those stock phrases like, the eyes spoke volumes.or they shot daggers from the eyes, or if looks could kill.

Yep, I've seen it like a 27 inch zenith believe it!

I miss di shot

Dont usually reprint my blogs but since most of you havent been reading me since I started this one is from about 3 years ago. And since this week is Caribana and I've now got a professional looking DSLR camera (which shoots faster) I'm trying to redeem myself for this one. So here goes:
---------------------------
Anyway sorry I digress, so these nice looking young ladies are going past me and there are a few of them with Caribbean flags including one rather stunning beauty with a Bajan (that's short form for Barbados for the uninitiated) flag who I focused in on. Ok she maybe wasn't that stunning, (she was rather good looking though) but after what happened next forever in the stories I will tell in the future she will always be the best-est looking girl I ever did saw. I will be singing her praises with hyperbolic terms of exaltation, extolling her to the highest degree, her aura will be raised to mythical proportions. A girl who would make Halle Berry look like Whoopie as my man Big L (R.I.P) would say.

Now there she goes again the dopest Ethiopian
and now the world around me is just moving in slow motion

So guess what happens next. The sista with the Bajan flag is passing by and another beautiful lady with a Jamaican flag (although not as beautiful as the angel with the bajan flag) is pulling her along when she, the bajan flag girl not the Jamaican flag girl, sees me with the camera and stops. Hallelujah! Could it be? Is she stopping to pose for lil ol me? Nooo! Yess! Nooo! Really! Me? Whoa! She is actually posing for me. Oh man if I ever had any doubts about there being a God in heaven. Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah! No more singing the Pharcyde's passing me by cause she's the one who didn't pass me by.

Oh man, I'm on cloud 9, I have hit the jackpot! If I don't take another shot all day and even if I don't get to follow the Vincy truck then to actually have this girl pose for me just makes my day, strike that my week, my month even my year. This is the coup de grace, my shot heard around the world, my crowning glory. This was the photo in the future I'd be showing my kids, my grandkids, everybody saying can you believe what happened to me out of the blue and can you believe how lovely this young lady is.

So quickly, in the next few seconds, I manage to steady my hands and I set up the shot. Ok Jdid, steady now. You definitely don't want this one to come out blurry like the ones the night before. This shot must be perfect. Perfect girl, perfect shot, I'm focused, the camera is focused, we become as one, man and machine blending into the perfect element. The camera's lenses combining with my own eye's lenses to form a cybernetic entity. Coming together for a common cause for the betterment of mankind. (alright too much hyperbole I'm getting carried away) Ok here it comes, everything is good, homegirl is in the center of the picture, I double check everything is straight and I depress the camera button to take the shot. I hear the double click meaning I'm good to go and I depress the button fully and snap what is possibly naa scratch that what is definitely the greatest shot I have ever take in my life. Hey I'm easy to please what can I say. Oh happy day!

I say a heart felt thank you and 'God bless ya girl' and the girls are off. I was happy before but my heart is all a flutter, I'm positively giddy. Giddy as a schoolgirl well as giddy as an emotionless android like myself can be anyways. Yea I have emotion issues but that's a whole other blog.

Then I look at the picture and it all falls down like a Kanye West song.



There on the left is the Jamaican flag girl, quite beautiful in all rights but wait what the? Nooooooooo I scream! Whyyyyyyyy? Where is my bajan flag girl in all her exquisite beauty? Nooooooo!

Yo where that big headed woman come from to block my shot! Cheese on bread DEN! I utter various unprintable words. A who de one bleep bleep big red frizzy headed woman and where she came from to block my shot? My perfect shot in ruins! Ruined I say!

Bajansistren had been standing next to me and I show her the photo and she laffin at me, I show the wife she laffin at me. Everybody enjoying my misery. Cuhdear. To have it so close to your grasp only to have it cruelly snatched away.

Totally offset the rest of my day. To think I had the best-est girl in the universe to take a picture of and that woman head block out all trace of my girl. See dat, life just not fair.

Not only that but homegirl had already disappeared down the route and so I was left there with only a memory and once again a brother's singing a variation of the Pharcyde's Passing me by. Damn!

Delivering mail while black

You were put here to protect us but who protects us from you - Krs-one


Dear Police Chief Blair.

I am disturbed by your recent comments regarding the racial profiling case against your officers which was just recently heard by the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario. After the Tribunal ruled in favor of an innocent black postal worker, you were quoted as saying that the ruling, that your officers were guilty of racial profiling, set an "impossibly high standard" and that the decision "sets a standard that's new, that can't be met" by any reasonable, fair-minded officer.

Really?

Lets examine the facts of the case. Your policemen were in the upscale Toronto neighourhood of Bridal Path investigating cut telephone lines and looking for suspects described as white, eastern Europeans seen in a car. Along comes black postal worker Mr Phipps, (and he ain't light skin that you could say they mistook him for white) walking with his mailbags. Please note that Mr Phipps was wearing his standard issue mailman's uniform and as noted before carrying his mailbags at this time. The officers saw him speak to a homeowner, which postmen are known to do on occasion even when they don't have mail for that particular household. Your policemen then trailed him because he didn't actually give that homeowner mail and he crisscrossed the street again something postmen are known to do when delivering mail from home to home. They questioned him and then they asked another white mailman to confirm that he Mr Phipps was in fact a mailman even though the uniform and the heavy mailbags should have given that away already.

I mean either your officers are complete imbeciles or this is racial profiling Chief Blair.

I mean if a black man clearly identified by his uniform, doing his job cannot get the benefit here of not being thought to be somehow up to no good and to have criminal intent what hope is there for us non-uniform wearers who might just have happened to pass through a certain neighbourhood where your staff think we don't belong? Seriously how fair minded was it for your officers to accost Mr Phipps like this?

Are your officers generally fond of stopping letter carriers? Had they never seen a mailman before? Do they ever stop white letter carriers? Are you implying that perhaps Canada Post should only assign white mail carriers to Bridal Path and other affluent neighbourhoods to avoid any possible further misunderstandings because blacks in these types of neighbourhood are suspicious?

And I'm not trying to get involved in the Prof Henry Gates incident here although actor Jeffrey Wright does do a lovely op-ed with regard to that story but that's the U.S, this is a Toronto. Problems similar but not exactly the same so lets just deal with Toronto and its police and their relations with us minorities here.

I mean I understand you have to show some support for your officers Chief Blair but this case is about as blatant as racial profiling could possibly get. Even Stevie Wonder could see this.

And I truly believe a man of your position wading into this fray should pick and choose his words carefully. I understand the blue fraternity's culture and ethos dictates that you should support your boys but really their actions were totally unjustified and inexcusable.

You want to know why black people don't trust the police, why the black community is so skeptical with regards to our lawmen? Why there is enmity between the two camps? Search no further than your own words that this ruling sets an impossibly high standard. How is the standard impossibly high when a man doing his job, showing all the outward signs of doing his job, dressed in a uniform clearly showing that he belongs to a specific organization and has the tools ie mailbags for the job is harassed by your officers and assumed to be a suspicious character/character of interest?

What the average black person reads into that comment is that policemen think its alright to profile us, even when the evidence is exceedingly overwhelming that we are law abiding, hardworking, minding our own business, stand up folk like Mr Phipps. We say well if a guy like Mr Phipps can be targeted like that what about the average black man or woman; ourselves, our friends, our sons and daughters? Is the average black person safe from profiling if they happen to be visiting a friend in a neighbourhood that doesn't have many black homeowners?

No wonder the black community barricades itself off.

Your comments make us say well the chief seems to support racial profiling so you got to watch your back with these policemen. Those comments do nothing but advance the feelings of mistrust between the two groups. Instead what was needed here from you, Chief Blair, were comments to try to foster some sense of camaraderie, some feeling of empathy for our situation. some statement which while probably false stated that this was not a normal occurrence and was just a mistake on the policeman's part, some reassurance that you don't have us squarely with a bullseye painted on our backs.

But instead we got a closing of the policeman ranks. A statement that while not overtly us vs them in nature still subconsciously says the same thing.

Mi shame say you a say what you a say, Mr Blair. Mi had ya class different. I've lost some of the respect I had for you.

Your respectfully
Jdid

Garbage

5 long weeks without garbage pickup in the City of Toronto. Thankfully the real summer weather naa reach and likely not to it seems, so the place aint smell up to high heavens yet. Still, 5 weeks man, that is a long long time in garbage days. Litter spewing forth from tie up trash cans all over the streets downtown, heaps of rot and buss up plastic bags, a mix and mingle of smells emanating from all around and the city requisitioning people nice nice park space as temporary dumps.

The place not right at all.

And the Union and the City officials like dey mekkin mock sport about all this thing. I aint hear bout them talking, I aint hear bout them unionizing and arbitrating and negotiating and wukkin round the clock to mek sure we city get clean up. No uh uh, dem play like a dirty city aint a certain prelude to an unhealthy city when the rats breed big and get feisty and get up an stage a coup an de leptospirosis lik we down or dem unhealthy garbage fumes round people house where they close to dumping grounds mek all dem pickney sick. Chupse! What allya know bout epidemic and nuff illness? Looka this is a serious ting!

But no, the Mayor hiding in plain site, sneaking through back ways, using special codes and side doors into he office to avoid picketers at the main entrance and ting so. Confrontation man, confrontation! That is not only a Bob Marley album name ya know? Deal wid de case. That is ya job, why we vote you in, what we put ya there for. Not to slink in back doors like a common thief.

Some man full a big speech but dey backative weak! Look it up Mr Mayor if ya dont understand.

And the strikers blocking people from throwing way two bags a garbage, mekkin we suffer and antagonizing we at the temporary dumps, like we is the body to blame for the industrial strike. Like we stop allya from having ya extra payout on ya sick leave even though none a de rest a we working stiffs dont get no benefits so sweet. It duz be use sick days or lose dem, nun a dat accrue them til later and if ya dont use them get paid for them business. I tell ya wunnah got it real sweet boy real real sweet.

Allya realize dis is still recession right? And that jobs scarce and belts to be tightened?

But I know allya cant last. 5 weeks on the strike line aint easy at all. 5 weeks without pay even worse! Any gains ya get from a lil wage increase wunnah dun wipe out wid dis 5 week strike. De City government trying to wear wunnah down. And they succeeding. I hope allya come to wunnah senses though, and I mean both Unions and Government, before I have to swim through the garbage to get to work punna morning.

And wunnah know wunnah affecting the economy too cause nuhbody aint gine pun no restaurant patio to sniff the garbage on the streets and why would tourists peoples want to come up here for all the summer festivals (Caribana included) to walk bout in filth? Allya best to be careful. Wha even CNN reporting that the place stink already.

Guilty?

Courtesy the Toronto Star

I dont usually do video but thought this was worth sharing. Actually I was searching for the photo that was in the Star this morning with the lady on the ground surrounded by photographers but this is even more interesting with the video.

The background is the lady in the white top on the ground is the aunt of a gang member found guilty of murder yesterday. The other lady (maroon top) is the mother. I could probably launch into a whole diatribe on why this is so wrong on so many levels but I havent researched the story thoroughly.

All I will say is its sad. Wish that we didnt have to see scenes like this played out in the black community.

WI vs Bangladesh

The real tragedy isn't that the once mighty (a long long time ago) West Indies team was beaten today by bottom of the rung Bangladesh. You can excuse that given that the team calling itself West Indies for this match was made up of has beens, never was-es and rank newcomers who had been pulled together at the 11th hour when the regular team went on strike.

Call them scabs or whatever you want for crossing the picket line they still went out and tried their best and managed to be competitive which is more than you can say for the regular West Indies team sixty percent of the time.

No, The real tragedy is that two sides which should have the best interests of West Indies cricket at heart and work together towards getting our team back to the top have somehow in recent years found a way to always manage to screw over the game and embarrass the West Indian public and fans on numerous occasions.

I've lost count of the number of attempted strikes, most called on the brink of a test series by the West Indies Players Association (WIPA) after talks with the WICB have broken down, that have occurred recently and while both sides innocently try to play the victim it is us the cricket fans who are forced to suffer.

From one perspective its actually somehow reminiscent of my childhood playing in de road or on the cow pasture when a bats owner might get vex when he got out and would pick up bat and go home finishing the game prematurely and leaving the other children just hanging their heads, hangs in pockets standing looking stupid, wishing they had their own bats and cricket equipment. Own way team quits field over dispute or in this case just decides not to play cause they want a better deal.

And who's to blame? I mean its a given these days that the West Indies Cricket Board (WICB) is incompetent. The public is well aware of that fact. Numerous changes in personnel seem to have done nothing for its professionalism or its outlook on the game but at the same time the Board is not the only guilty party here. WIPA is just as guilty if not moreso for holding the great game for ransom, picking up their bats and going home, especially with their penchant for last minute seemingly out of the blue strikes.

And I not calling no names but lets look at this thing from another angle too. WICB presidents have come and gone, WICB CEOs and management teams have come and gone, Team captains have come and gone and the problems and somehow WIPA president Ramnarine still remain. I aint saying its his fault but hey if you looking for commonality in all the disputes well.........

As I said somewhere else appearance counts a lot in the business world. Its not just enough to be right but one must also appear to be right. That's where good PR comes in. Not saying that WIPA is correct in this impasse but WIPA definetly doesn't do good PR. Threatening to strike at the 11th hour, just before an international series is to begin, giving the general public little notice about your issues and the reasons for the strike isnt good PR and it doesn't win you fans. It just makes you look like petulant children forever playing a game of brinkmanship.

All told though, I'm not really surprised. No one really cares about the game or the fans unless they stop paying to watch games. Its all about the cash these days and one can see it from the lackluster on the field approach by the players. Not that players shouldn't be fairly compensated but at the same time, it would be nice to see some effort, grit, determination and perhaps a sprinkling of love for the game shine though. Oh and some pride. We used to have a proud team when we were on top what seems like a long long long time ago. They wanted to win, they cared about winning, they realized what winning meant to the West Indian public. Not so anymore.

Now West Indies cricket just sucks. Go on with your strikes and disputes, alienate the few remaining fans you have why don't you. Keep it up and you soon wont have any kingdom to fight over.

Thank you WIPA and WICB for killing our cricket. You're both doing a bang up job! Keep it up.

Why ask

Does this happen to you too?

For some strange reason folks just approach me to ask me directions. I'm not sure why exactly but apparently I must look like someone who knows where he is going or where he is.

Anyway the messed up thing is that lately folk have been coming up to me asking me directions but then when I give them a response they pretend to believe me but then two minutes later I see them asking someone else for directions.

Kinda messed up I say. Why ask me for directions if you dont think I know the way. And its not like I give them bad directions. If I dont know the answer I'll tell them but when I give you an answer I'm 100% certain of where I'm telling you to go and I think I convey this quite well with no hesitancy in my voice. So what gives?

Maybe they dont like the directions I'm giving them. Maybe I should give people false directions and tell them that something is right around the corner when it really isnt.

Whatever the case its really a bit aggravating to have folks ask you for directions, then two minutes later completely ignore them and ask someone else.

Next time, I'm just going to lie and say I have no idea where so n so.

Ice Cream

Excuse me hon, the Don mean no harm, turn around again
****** backyard's bangin like a Benz-i
If I was ziggy, you'd be spotted like Spudz McKenzie

Ghostface off Ice Cream

Or as the bajan saying goes An eyeful is sometimes better than a bellyful.

Barack boy ya best be careful cause when Michelle see this picture wuhloss lol


Chupse juss tell she ya married not blind.

ps: thought it was funny that this was the photo the Toronto Star decided to run on its front page today too. I wonder what dem trying to imply.

Discrimination

A groundbreaking study, to be released today, estimates that about one in four black, single parents and households on social assistance face moderate to severe discrimination in Toronto's tight rental market. The same is true for South Asians.

Read more here.

Everytime I read about one of these studies I think to myself well whats groundbreaking about this? Its just a waste of time and money to prove the already known. Then I read the comments responding to articles like the one above on the Toronto Star's website and realize most Torontonians truly are clueless to the discrimination that persons of color and those on the lower end of the wealth spectrum face in this community.

Maybe they just live with their heads in the sand or maybe they just accept all the stereotypes and the scary news items they see every day in the media about those that don't look like them. Maybe they're all we are the world and Kumbaya and think we live in a post-racial world. Well newsflash that post-racial crap is b.s. I don't know what they actually think but what I do know is that renters bias is all too real having faced it in the past myself.

And I'm not alone, in fact forget a one in four most of the black folk I know can tell you a story or two about renters bias. How the apartment suddenly was rented when they showed up for a viewing because the landlord didn't realize they were black when they phoned or how they suddenly needed to book an appointment when they walked in to see a place even though someone else they knew had checked the place out the day before by just walking in off the street or and these two happened to me personally, my girlfriend's potential apartment ended up being apparently already rented when she showed up with me (scary black dude that I apparently am) in tow (even though I wasn't going to be living there) or how one landlord told me and I quote "his Jamaicans don't cause trouble".

This is everyday life. We dont like it, but it happens. We get angry when it happens, we complain, we get ignored but we minorities, persons of color know it happen. And we deal with it and we survive. We cope, we grow thicker skins, we gain a knowledge by experience of what kinds of landlords will discriminate, we look where we think we'll be accepted and ignore other areas where we know we'll be discriminated in and end up in mini-ghettos, we do what we have to do to get by.

And its not like so many on the Toronto Star's message board surmise that we aren't rented these apartments because we're on welfare or we destroy property or we're bad neighbours and have loud raucous parties or we have bad credit or we default on our rent and then the landlord has hell to evict us. Most of us don't get a chance to disprove these stereotypes because we aren't given a chance. We don't even get to see the apartment let alone rent it. Or we get to see it but unless the deal is consummated on the spot when we return or call again the place is gone (which is why when I was looking at places I learned to walk with my cheque book ready to close a deal on the spot). It starts and ends at the beginning, with a judgment call made by those with the power based on our non-Canadian accents or our non-Canadian skin tones. Nope its rented, or we wont rent it to you, meaning sorry we don't want your kind here now go away.

Just cause your racism isnt the in your face stuff the US faces doesn't mean everything is hunky doory up on your doorstep. It does still exist. That's the real. Toronto I wish y'all would wake up and realize that instead of living with your heads up your proverbial butts.

Wuhloss!

and dem thought Nipplegate was a issue.

Back in the days the worse thing ya had to worry bout was seeing Mommy kissing Santa under the mistletoe or maybe a fella might try an sneak into school wid a Playboy or something so but now

A local teacher accidentally put pornography into a DVD that was meant to be filled with school memories from the past year, and nobody caught the error until after it was sent home, shocking parents and students alike.

De woman gone an put pieca one of her own sex tapes on the children tape. Well I guessing I know what will be the top memory for them children for the past year lol.

You imagine you turn on the dvd to show you parents memories of jungle gyms, innocent plays and recitals, and running bout the schoolyard and all a sudden um cut into dem sorta big people things with your teacher giving new meaning to the phrase wham bam thank you mam! Wha dat wud traumatize even big people cuhdear.

Well even if this teacher doan get fired I hope she remove themselves from the vicinity of them traumatized children. I know if I did a parent and I did see dat I couldn't be in nuh sorta parent teacher meetings widout looking at she a certain way. And ya dun know discipline gone through the door in class too cause some day teacher say something an some igrant lil fast chile gine put she in she place bout that tape and hush she up one time bram.

an how come nuhbody din notice this thing on the tape though? I mean we is a people that see janet nipple fa 1/2 a second a everybody din see um, how come them din see however much of the teacher porn did on the tape cause i sure um was more than six seconds.

But ya know I been discussing this sex tape business. (No before wunnah ask wunnah cud search high and low there aint no Jdid sex tapes knocking bout and there never will be cause i aint embarrassing myself nor looking to traumatize nun a wunnah. In fact I feel if I ever was to do something so I wud traumatize myself too. After seeing that, I might gotta guh join a monastery and tek a new vow of chastity or something. cuhdear)

But what is the thing wid everybody mekkin sex tapes these days? Um is because digital equipment suh cheap? Or um is that everybody fancies themselves some sorta porn star? Is it that we are a nation of voyeurs? Or is just that people aint got nuh sorta common sense cause if ya mek it chances are ya gine mislay it at some point or the other and then bram embarrassment galore.

Well unless ya is a celebrity and then um will mek ya a superstar like Paris, de Kardasian girl or Ray J.

Happy Canada Day

So July the 1st is/was Canada day. Besides being in the middle of the week which sucks for holidays , we in Toronto are in the grips of a city workers strike which affected quite a bit of festivities including parades and the like. Well whatever!

Was having some deep thoughts though. Is why we duz call Independence day up here Canada day? I mean the fourth of July, American Independence day dont be called no U.S.A day and I never hear Independence day in places like Barbados or St Vincent or Jamaica called Barbados day or St Vincent day or Jamaica day. So wha um is bout Canadians that they cant settle for a simple Independence day?

And then we was discussing it today after we went to a Canada day thing today and say well is how come at a Canada day celebration they sing O'Canada but them also duz sing God Save the Queen. So I say well is cause the Queen is still head of state which mean well are we really independent cause early this year when the political parties was having them bassa basssa and parliament came to a standstill who um was that had the final say on whether we was gine have an election or PM Harper was gine stan in power? Um was the Governor General. And who is the Governor General. Well um is Michelle Jean but who she is? She is the Queen representative. So in essence the Queen up in Buckingham palace still run things in Canada so nuh wonder we aint calling it Independence day.

Oh well.

never can say goodbye

Do you remember the time when Michael was a pop icon rather than tabloid fodder?

At the end he was more bogeyman than boogie-man, more monster than hero, more goat than G.O.A.T, more caricature than role model but there was a time when Michael apparently was a cool inspiration to black folks and loved by everyone worldwide. But that was a while back wasn't it?

My wife reminded me this morning that when the Thriller album came out Michael made it cool to be black in North America. He made black music commercially viable and gave it MTV appeal. I also hold him personally responsible for the horror that was the jeri curl era but in some parts of the world Michael Jackson was the first black person that anyone had ever seen ever. You see those suburban white kids imitating today's rappers? Well the original cross-over appeal artist was Michael, white glove and all. Everyone loved Michael (even Prince fans).

Without Michael there would be no Puffy, no Jay Z, no Chris Brownes, no Ushers.

And man could he dance!

Now Michael is known as much for his antics as for his music. Its all very plain to see in the nickname he was given "Wacko Jacko". For every Beat it, there is a but the dude had a zoo at Neverland story, for every Black or White there is a he walked around in a SARs mask for years rebuttal and lets not even go into the Michael and Bubbles and Michael and little children stories or the dangling small child off balcony acts, the bankruptcy rumours and the crazy marriages etc.

Dude became one of those stories you shook your head at. A walking tragedy, someone to be pitied. Poor Michael, all that talent, all that fame, still crazy as ass. What happened to that cat? Some blamed his dad, some said he never grew up, some said he was taken advantage of or was just missing some screws up top. Who knows!

What I can say is that a lot of the boo hoo hoo I miss him stories that will circulate in the coming days are a bunch of crap and highly hypocritical and come from the people who two days ago were more than likely dissing or laughing at ol boy.

Come on now, dude had become a caricature. Forget the don't speak ill of the dead credo and admit it. You know it, I know it. In fact when last did you make a Michael duz trouble lil children crack or passed around a Michael now looks like a white woman email or dissed his ever changing nose? Exactly! This is what Michael had become of late so don't try to cover it up.

It is what it is. But it just goes to show you that opinions and life can change in a matter of minutes. The same ones dissing him yesterday are now the ones showering him with praise today. Guess you cant get all your props til you're gone.

He was great, his recording legacy may stand the test of time, he was definitely a trailblazer, one of the greatest dancers and entertainers and he was the King of Pop, but like many prodigies and icons over the years Michael got old and somewhat irrelevant music wise and his eccentricities became his hallmark later in life. (Apparently the lucky ones die young. Imagine if Tupac and Biggie or Bob Marley had lived past their primes?)

Michael went from the King of Pop to King of Weird. He's gone now and some will feel guilty and realize dude regardless of his eccentricities was one of a kind and we will miss him now. But who will be remembered: 1982 Michael, cocky, vibrant, inspirational leaving us all welled up with pride or 2009 Michael peeping out from behind a mask, dodging creditors and crazy rumours, leaving us feeling sorry for him.

Rappers and comedians will have to find a new celebrity for fodder as will we.

Rest in Peace Michael may you be less troubled now than in life.


ps: For anyone interested Smoking Section has a nice DJ Jaycee mix of some the older MJ tunes from the Jackson five era available for free download here.

kate - jon + 8

I did never even hear bout these Jon & Kate people til they interview them about Octo-mom a few months back and now they all over the news cause Jon and Kate divorcing or separating or something so.

But let me tell you something. I never watch the show but is how this get a reality show when the people cant even throw one setta liks in the children? You could imagine you or mi mudda raising 8 a we and nuh liks sharing? Wha dat would to quote the singer man be "far from reality'.

And apparently Kate finally lash one a few weeks back an the tabloids was all over she. One lil lash and dem vex. So so far from my reality cause I know if you and mi mudda had 8 children liks would share from mornin til night and not nuh lil liks too but good ol west indian pick up whatever implement nearest to ya an throw with unerring accuracy at the child who mekkin ya miserable type liks.

But anyways. I wanted to say a few things bout the show and remember I aint watch um but I just find it strange that you wud put your children all over the tv screen from so early. Is like dem pimp out the poor children.

The question though is wha gine happen to the children now. Is it better for them to be raised by a single parent or in an unhappy home? I'd go with the former.

And whichpart Jon gine find Chile support fa 8 pickney! lawd ave mercy boy!

Fall way to nuttin

Well somebody tell muh a few weeks back that one a my old bajan posts "Two Words" was referenced in Wikipedia under some bajan dialect thing. And in the spirit of sharing more bajan words wid wunnah and given my present state of existence I have decided to share the phrase "fall way to nuttin".

The term "fall away to nuttin" in the simplest form means to lose alot of weight. It would be used if you see a drastic weight loss by somebody or maybe in a full sentence like "ya better try an eat before ya fall way to nuttin" where the speaker is trying to convey the thought that not eating will make you lose weight.

And why is this pertinent you ask? Well Jdid had his wisdom teeth removed a few weeks back and was forced onto a liquid diet. Now the people that know me know that I aint exactly robust, big or have nuh weight to lose in the first place. Yet via said liquid diet I lost somewhere north of 12 pounds in the space of one week. And yea you feel alot colder and smaller when that happens. Your body isnt meant to lose weight like that I'm guessing.

Yesterday I was out in the garden wearing a old pants that I retire from active service cause the waist was getting a lil too tight an you shoulda see how the pants fit me yesterday baggy baggy like Hammer Pants den. The things did threaten to expose muh bividees so I had to guh back inside an get a belt before I gi de neighbours a free show.

The liquid and soft food diet thing thought me alot though. For one see me I aint gine mek it as nuh old person cause I man doan dig no soft foods, no mashed potatoes nor no soups (hence the drastic weight loss) so when I get old I doan think I gine last too long once the gums stop wukkin.

Anyway that was about three weeks ago and since then I've been back trying to steadily add more and more foods to my diet. Still not ready for no burgers, steak or curry goat yet but I was getting there.

And then this weekend bram out of the blue while eating lunch I had this new dental issue flare up (which is apparently related to the wisdom teeth removal). Anyway it has again left me in some real serious pain and according to the dentist this marnin back on the liquid diet, unable to eat solid foods yet again. And since I probably gained back at most 3 or 4 of the 12 pounds lost on the last liquid diet Jdid will be steadily fallin way to nuttin this week looking like a "god-horse" cause I eating "nextskin to nuttin". I gine leff dem two last bajan phrases to next time or wunnah could figure that ot wunnahselves.

I gine hayso an drink lunch.

Oh Fly away

Signs and wonders people, signs and wonders.

So big story this week: ta daa, President Obama kill a fly! Big set a video with the president killing a fly online and news people talking about it like it is something really exciting. Its like he is a toddler doing something for the first time. Look look he killed a fly all by himself! Look American public, we may have a little genius on our hands.

Next video will probably be Obama flushes toilet all by himself.

Sigh. And I didn't want to big up the fly story no more cause it was not news in my opinion. Like I was saying is not like the man kill one a dem big West Indian flying cockroach cause ya dun know killing ona dem wid a shoe now that is entertainment cause them things fast, big and igrant and one lash usually dont suffice. Now watching Obama lash a cockroach that would be prime time viewing.

And is not like he use the Mr Miyagi technique and grab the fly with a pair a chopsticks to show off his martial arts skill or it aint like he is the fella from the movie Wanted that shoot the wings off the fly. He aint even slam the fly down on the table cruel like he was killing couple (double) six. Nuh uh, he just slap it with his hand. Where is the fun, where is the drama?

Wunnah want drama wunnah shudda see me as a yout pelting big rocks at chickens in my yard. Now if we had youtube in my day I woulda been a star. And what about the time I was up in northern Ontario and I kill 30 black flies with one slap. Now that is some news right there. I'd like to see Barack do that. Any old poppit can kill one fly but 30 one time boy that duz tek a real improved super dupa eediat.

But like I said wasn't going to chat about this nonsense. But then my favorite group of people get involved. Yep that's right PETA (poppits eediats twits & asses) saying Obama shouldn't have kill the fly, so they sending he a humane fly swatter for next time. The men even claim Obama wasnt thinking before he act. Hello, wunnah see the video? the man clearly thought about killing the fly. He shoo it it come back, he set up for the kill shot, bram! It was premeditated, fly murderation in the first degree. He couldn't get away even if Johnny Cochrane did still alive and was he lawyer. Nuh uh!

But seriously PETA are such a ridiculous fringe group. Do they not see how silly they make themselves look with these comments. A fly? Really? This is the president of the United States , you know hummuch actual human beings that office musse kill over the years and you worried bout a single fly?

Man wunnah PETA people really need de lawd.

G.O.A.T or just goat ?

OK check the link here.

Its a photo of world's fastest man Usain Bolt arriving in Toronto a few days ago at Pearson airport just before his run here yesterday. In case you don't get the t-shirt and think its some crazy Chinese script caption tilt your head to a side and re-read the caption on the t-shirt.

Yes it does say Go F*** your-self.

Well my blog readers know I was all gaga about Bolt last year during the Olympics, got to big up the Caribbean man dem ya kno, so I'm not a hater here but the first thing I thought on seeing this photo was boy am I'm pretty happy I didn't fork out 75 -250 dollars plus to go see this dude run for 10 seconds last night as I had initially planned.

The second thing I thought was well maybe he's still trying to diss the IOC chair from last year for those silly comments at the Olympics and then the third thing was why on earth would he wear such a ridiculous t-shirt in public, arriving in Canada?

I mean I don't take it personally cause I would tell he bout he mudda and keep it stepping but seriously a world class athlete and supposed role model shouldn't be wearing something like this. Its just wrong and it can be construed as dissing your hosts and fans.

Mind you I've come to the conclusion after his silly comments about every young Jamaican having tried weed that for all his talent Mr Bolt is a lil dense; typical blessed with talent and natural ability athlete, possibly not the smartest.

But I wasn't going to take him to task for this cause I thought silly typical kid who knows no better but then I thought to myself one this dude is a "role model" and kids are looking up to him so this is just wrong and two if it was one of the strutting, arrogant American sprinters of recent ilk that we're all so familiar with doing this everybody and their momma would be taking them to task so why not Bolt? Its crass, its lewd, its not proper and I mean it could also be taken the wrong way if he was meeting anyone official at the airport that day as is likely the case.

I ain't saying we need to go back to the days when you arrived at the airport in three piece suit, I'm just saying the message on that shirt isn't fit for public consumption even if it was your common pleb like me wearing it instead of a celeb and Bolt should have shown better judgement or known better.

Yea someone paid you loads of cash to come to the T-dot and you are drawing people to the gate so we can make some money and all that but how about some grace and style and respect son.

Don't forget your financial success is based not just on your talent but also on your likability and marketability. Don't screw it up.

Age Limits

A few weeks back I came home from the cinema and I was steamed. No it wasn't that the movie was crap and I felt it had been a waste of my money it was that I was pissed off at some of the folk in the cinema. And no again it wasn't that I was pissed with their chatting through the movie or anything like that what I was upset with was with the number of parents who were bringing their kids to the movie.

Actually it happened twice. I went to afternoon showings of Wolverine and Terminator and both times there were kids there, accompanied by parents, who had absolutely no right to be in that cinema. I mean there are height requirements for amusement park rides there needs to be height requirement rules for cinemas. Cause let me tell you if your feet cant touch the ground when you sitting in a seat at the cinema then terminator and Wolverine, both violent films are not places for you to be.

I mean it was so bad that when I sat in my seat at Terminator and started seeing these parents with little kids in tow coming in I swore I had the wrong cinema. I had to get up and go outside to make sure the cinema number match my ticket cause I swore I was in the wrong theatre.

And maybe you'll say I'm making a big fuss but it wasn't one of those things where it was borderline. It wasn't like oh they are taking their 10 year olds to these movies which I would have issues with too but still might be classified by some as a borderline matter of judgment. No this was kids clearly under 6 and in one case I swear the child was about three cause he was walking and talking in the same manner that my three year old does.

To me that's just going too far. I mean one parent came into terminator with pickeney in hand and dragging a stroller up the steps behind him. I kid you not.

So yea I was a bit livid about that especially when I think to myself these are the same kids my child will meet in the playground and then when something happens cause them trouble mi chile I will have to go and get lock up. chupse!

Its this simple. Parenting involving sacrifice. If you cant get a babysitter don't drag the kid to these inappropriate movies. Stay home! And I know people will say oh its single moms or its young parents that do this. Nope 95% of the cases I saw in the two movies, and I should mention it was at least 4 or 5 different parent kid combos in each movie, were middle aged looking folks who looked like they should know better as parents.

And what is the cinema's responsibility in all this. I mean the movies are rated but shouldn't there be some sort of screening where you say sorry parent are you some sort of jackass, you cant take your three year old into this violent movie. Yea you guys are minimum wage and dont give a damn I understand that, and movie revenues are down so the cinema is just trying to stay paid but still really you should not allow these parents in with kids to see movies like that. Its just downright irresponsible.

Old to the New

What goes around comes back again.

I remember well enuff! My mudda used to tell me nuff stories bout old time Buhbaydos when I was lil boy. Stories from she school days and from mi granny school days, must be why I like story summuch now looka that, and even though I gettin on in years I duz still remember a ting or two.

Things she tell me as a wide eyed impressionable yout like the foolish drills the school children in the country used to have to do in war time laying down stiff like a jukkin board pun the pasture when nuff planes flying over the island on their way to God knows where.

Stories bout Pinpunshe, wunnah know dat wun? and how the woman put she sick husband in the oven cause the doctor say to mek sure he stay warm. Stories bout how them young fellas swim out to the SS.Cornwallis and liberate cans a corn beef and such that was on the ship when that German U Boat lik it wid one Torpedo to the blasted bottom a Carlisle Bay back in the World war 2!

Yes Iyah, a ol veteran business dat!

How the school children din have shoes and chiggers was in people foot and something in the cuss cuss grass in the bed giving people lice or something so. I cant remember too good now boy and we din deal wid no book was strictly griot businesswunnah understand? Word a mout pass on! Selah! All dem stories so an nuff nuff more that I aint got time to mention, dem good ol stories.

And ya know wha mi mudda tell mi bout too? Wunnah might not believe me but still look she say once upon a time when ya go to the shop ya din used to get no plastic bag and paper bag with big supermarket name mark on in bright letters for the groceries. No Sar! You used to have to tek ya own bag to the people grocery. Actually wasnt no grocery in them days was just lil shops in the village and in the town wid big barrels a briny salt meat and sacks a flour and rice and other staples. But yes you used to have to tek ya own bags. Serious ting mi nuh lie!

So see the women wid their crocus shopping bag, and each woman know which bag is hers too incase um get lost or stolen (which is anudda story that i aint got time fa hay right now too) and it divide up in sections so one section for the flour and the other one for corn meal and a third wun fa the rice grains. Ya have a special tin for the salt meat or the butter and the lard too. No ya din buying no breadfruit and ground provisions at the shop though, that was still coming outta people land and sharing cause people was living good in love and community, sharing eddoe and sweet potato and n**** yam and them sorta things so. Everybody got them own lil kitchen garden too. Yes that is how it used to do. A shilling in flour and half tot a butter and 1/2 pence a corn meal to mek bakes or pap.

And everything compartmentalize and wrap up in one. No plastic to undo and throw way, no seperate bag for the rice and the flour and no double bagging unless ya had a extra old flour bag or crocus bag handy. Ya see where this gine right?

Well boy them tings come back in today cause in Toronto the powers that be ban off all free plastic bags . If you want plastic bags you got to pay an extra 5 cents if ya please from yesterday. Lawd a merci!

And mi say. Well look how everything that is old come back new. Back then wasnt no environment business people tryin to protect. Uh uh, is juss them aint had no better. Then wrap things wid what them had and tek them home an put them in their own containers when they ready.

But then we get industrialized and rubber flood the place. Plastic cheaper than dirt and people double, and even triple bagging groceries instead a walking wid their own shopping bag.

Now all we saying is the dump cant tek it nuh more. Bio-degradable-ness cant work wid dem bag and we children children gine still be dealing wid dem in decades and ting to come. Plastic becomes anthema. Fadda God come fa ya world nuh!

So see how the cycle duz work? One day we pompasseting wid plastic, then next we cussing plastic cruel like is sin and corruption bredren dat.

And that aint the only old thing come back either dat is why I never throw way dem stone wash pants friom the 80s cause any day now them gine be fashionable again.

Been a while

Been sick, still am actually but whatever.

Just found out that Dr Ivan Van Sertima died last week. How'd I miss that? In case you're not aware Van Sertima was a black scholar, college professor and historian of Guyanese descent who wrote a few ground breaking historical books back in the day, the most famous of which is "They came before Columbus" which hypothesised that fleets from the Mali Empire reached the new world way before Columbus ever did.

It wasn't that well received by some scholars. I mean how dare he say others got here before Columbus plus black folks I mean like whoa! But Van Sertima used evidence found in the new world to defend his hypothesis and makes a pretty good case I'd say.

Interesting enough recently Gavin Menzies has made the same claims about Chinese fleets reaching the new world and exploring the whole globe way before Columbus in his book 1421. Pretty cool. Looks like everyone got here before Columbus doesn't it lol.

Still I got to say Van Sertima certainly made his mark on Black historical research even if everything he said wasn't agreed with. In the world of Black historians of recent times he probably up there with Cheikh Anta Diop.

I think I bought my copy of They Came before Columbus when I was in college back at the now defunct Third World Bookstore. Memories and Good times.

OK that's all for now, back to being sick again.

Apathy 2 Anger

Recently we've had some Tamil protests against the civil war in Sri Lanka here in Toronto. About a week or so ago, the protesters shut down parts of a major city thoroughfare, University Ave, outside the US consulate for a few days demanding that the US and Canadian governments do something to stop the killing of innocent Tamil civilians in the Sr i Lankan civil war which has been going on for ages.

On Sunday another Tamil protest ended in the protesters shutting down the Gardiner expressway one of the main entryways into Toronto for several hours..

Now in all fairness I feel the pain of the protesters but at the same time I truly feel that public protests don't really change anything these days. All they do is anger and upset the public. The age of the sit ins and public flag waving protests is over we need to find a new more effective ways to protest things I think.

Still you can go about your protest and you may educate the public about your issues but there is a line and when you start shutting down highways etc you are not educating just pissing off the public and really doing nothing to gain sympathy for your cause.

What the protesters fail to understand is that protests that affect the public don't really wake us out of our apathy towards anything that doesn't directly affect us, it just generally enrages and angers us. And enraging us is not necessarily a good thing. The Tamil protesters need to realize that most North Americans cant find Sri Lanka on the map and really don't care when people outside of North America are dying. This is the society we live in. I'm not saying that this is a good thing I'm just saying its the truth and the evidence proves it cause if North Americans truly cared Darfur wouldn't still be ongoing and Rwanda would never have happened. We'll wait until after the fact, until the genocides are complete to react with our sorrow and our studies into how and why things got so bad and our if onlys ie if only we had done something sooner. Check the record that's how it goes.

And protests wont change that. What protests that negatively affect the general public do achieve though is a level of angst amongst the populace when they are inconvenienced. It loses you sympathy. It starts folk seeing you as not a part of their civil society and questioning why you are doing this to them when they see themselves as innocent. Then they wonder about your cause and wonder whether if its really a just one cause surely if it was just they assume you wouldn't act that way. That's the logic that the public starts to implement.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not anti-protest or anti-Tamil or anti anything. I just think that shutting down a highway was a bad move and that protesting on a raised highway is a bit dangerous and a bit lawless especially with the number of old folk and little kids involved. I'm glad no one was injured and I'm happy and somewhat surprised by the restraint shown by our local police in allowing this illegal occupation to persist as long as it did.

At the same time I believe that the Tamil occupation of the Gardiner probably did more harm towards their standing and the sympathy they would receive from the general public and their cause is either destined to be further ignored by the general public or just dismissed as being a general nuisance. Its a fine line between awareness and anger and it only takes so much before the insularities and the bigotry starts to raise its ugly head amongst the general public so realize that.

Twit-ter

twit! - A foolishly annoying person

twitter - blogging for twits perhaps? or just blogging for people with little to say. I'm just asking. I mean I don't really have any beef here, I refer to twitter at various point as mobile myspace, the perfect stalking tool or a tool used to make the mundane exciting, plus I think the machine is secretly just trying to make us comfortable with giving out way too much information so it can get as much info on us as possible to perfect its artificial intelligence but whatever! Yea I watch too much Sarah Connors Chronicles so what!

Dear God I wonder can you save me.
Illuminati want my mind, soul and my body

Still it is rather interesting to watch the procession, from blogging to myspace to facebook to twitter. Now we never ever have to communicate with anyone face to face again if we don't want to or send personal messages cause we can share with everyone one time at the press of a button. That should save us time but then again we'll need more time to do important things like checking status updates and twits from the hundreds of celebrities we're following online and "friends" who we met once in a drunken stupor in a bar two years ago.

We're making more connections but less lasting ones perhaps. The word friend has been diluted beyond belief. By the way that's not saying you cant make real lasting friendships online cause you can.

Oh well enough of a rant today. I'll stick to real blogging and leave the twits alone. I just really wanted to say that I wonder if the twitter-ers realize what that root word twit means.

Revenge of the Swine

also called How swine flu started as narrated by Jdid the pork prophet and seer to the swine.


And so it is written in the second book of Pork-etry chapter 9 beginning at verse 3.

Chapter 9.
3. For blessed are the ham makers, and those that bring home the bacon.
4. And let all those who have snouts rejoice for verily the day will come when those who have risen up against them will be rewarded justly or unjustly an eye for each eye plucked and a rib for each delicious barbecue rib not devoured.
5. but beware of pigs who sniffle and are congested
6. For it is written that they have rebuked thee and chastised thee out of jealousy because of the sweetness of thine meat for it is known that thou art the chosen of the lord and have been made the sweetest of all meats on earth but from hence the swine flu will be a great leveller and will bring them back to the fold.
7. For it shall seek out those who have continually borne false witness against thee and have downpressed and forced thee to wallow in unclean swill these many years. Naa they shall finally see the light and they shall be judged for their sins against thee.
8. Neither the tender lambs of the fields, the bovine of the stables or birds of the sky ie geese, chicken etc shall inherit the earth with thee but they shall perish on the plates of the McDonalds and KFC, their endings a tasteless testament to your greatness.

and continuing in Chapter 11

7. And behold it came to pass in the year of our Lord 2009, there arose a great uproar from the multitude of swine.
8. And they were filled with anger and much wrath.
9. For they had been castigated and pilloried for many a day, indeed many a season, indeed almost from the beginning of time.
10. So swine kind of all ilks: pot bellied, big bellied, pink, off-pink, good for nothing and industrious, everybody but guinea pigs who aren't actually swine by the way, all journeyed south (to old Mexico) to chew the fat ...so to speak.
11. And there arose from the multitude, a speaker, one called Napoleon, a rasta pig, from an Orwellian animal farm to address the assemblage of the swine bredren.
12. He who was known for his oratory skills and had coined the phrase "all animals are created equal but pigs a run things rude bwoy!"
13. And verily when the assemblage had been quieted behold he spoke
14. My distinguished pig bredren, alas we have been castigated and ridiculed for many a day, indeed many a century and as far back now as our collective memories can now remember.
15. And we have taken it all in stride because we have always believed that sticks and stones may hurt our bones but words would never harm us although to be quite honest we have all known the sting of having slovenly humans, gluttons and police officers being accosted by what is seen as an insult and referred to as pigs.
16. and untidy locations being referred to a a sty.
17. This must all cease.
18. And we believed that the truth would eventually be made known once and for all.
19. And that the vicious rumours and innuendo which we believe to have been started many centuries hence, by some dirty jealous ol cow of course, would cease forever and swine kind would once more rejoice and frolic joyously with mankind and animal kind in a show of unity
20. playing in special mud like the type that the rich people put on their faces at spas and such.

Chapter 12 -
1. For was it not written in the second chapter of the first book of Pork-etry that verily scales shall be lifted from their eyes and they shall be like a people seeing for the first time and they shall realize that pork is too, too, too sweet.
2. For were not the swine saved also by Noah in his ark at the bequest of the Lord? And if then swine be so unclean why did God choose at that moment to not smite us or choose not to have us drown or become extinct like the dinosaurs or the dodos? (Gotcha!)
3. But alas for many a day our feelings and that of our ancestors have been hurt as first the Muslims and the Jews, then later the Adventists amongst the Christian folks, even in the face of the New Testament saying call nothing neither common nor unclean,
4. have subjected us to immense ridicule making us outcasts and lepers even amongst our farm animal brothers and rejected our presence on their tables preferring the bacon from the ignoble turkey and calling us unclean,
5. because we chewed not our cud, even though it is well known that chewing cud is a sign of stupidity and it is also known that we have sweeter meat than the bovines.
6. And in later days when religion started to hold less sway in the world and the world became more secular, and the cows were stricken by the deadly Jacob Crutzfeldt, there was hope that our ribs, succulent bacon and pigtails would find a new niche and finally be recognized for the value that they hold.
7. But there arose ones called nutritionists and health food fanatics and other heretics to continue with the crusade against our flesh saying pork is unhealthy and our meat was not readily digestible and other such obscene lies which made the people afraid and turned the people even further against us.
8. But alas enough is enough for vengeance is thine saith the lord and is he not lord of all swine-don (as opposed to all Swindon which I think is a spot in the UK).
9. So verily it came to me hence in a vision. The time for revenge is nigh on hand.
10. Let them again blame us for this swine flu but let all shudder in fear
11. for Jah say lik dem wid diseases!
12. And there arose a great noise like the terror of an intense thunderstorm as the assembled hosts oinked loudly in support and the council of swine-don murmured in appreciation of the oration of Napoleon and approved of his idea to use the swine flu as a weapon against the anti-swine-ites and the haters of ham.
13. And so it came to pass.

Here ends this evenings lesson.

Style a style

I aint complaining, believe me I aint. But there is just one thing about when the hot weather hit Toronto that bugs me.................... these Toronto people duz completly forget hot to dress properly.

I guess that is what duz happen when it is winter 8 months of the year and people duz get excited once they feel a lil warmth on their skin but still some of these people duz really get carried away by the warm weather.

For instance today I out enjoying the sunshine and the heat on mi skin but everytime I look around I seeing fashion faux pas like dem going out of style. Like the old white fella at the subway station wearing shorts and got dem half pull down like the young fellas duz wear except he aint wearing no underwear and all we seeing is hairy butt crack staring at everybody. Lawd ave merci!

Or the young sista wearing the backless outfit with her breasts push up but still all her bra straps and the back of the bra showing out. I mean I not sure if there is actually any time when it is fashinonable to be showing off your bra but clearly this outfit was not it especialy since the bra din matching the top at all at all.

And the always present spandex wearers. Tell me why you would wear white spandex pants and not wear proper undergarments under it. I mean wunnah trying to give me nightmares or just scare me from leaving my house this summer. Cuhdear!

And no I aint complaining about showing skin. I accept that some will always show more than they should but what I got issues with is the lack of fashion, the styles that aint no style at all

Hence I will proposing spring refresher fashion classes to help people recover fashion sense in the wake of a brutal winter. Mek them mandatory too.

fast food

I saw this article from England yesterday:

The hit squad had prepared their raid long in advance.

At 10am eight police officers, some in anti-stab vests, joined three council employees on the doorstep of the Bamboo Joint takeaway.

Their mission? To stamp out the practice of selling jerk chicken within 400 metres of a secondary school.

Yesterday, the Jamaican cafe in Leytonstone, East London, became the first takeaway in the country to be given a closure order under guidelines banning the sale of fast food near educational establishments.

All I could do is laugh cause I figure this has to be the first time anybody ever refer to a west indian resturant as serving fast food.
lawd ave mercy! had these authorities done due dilligency they would have realized that food from west indian resturants is some of the slowest food in the world ....assuming they even have what you want. I mean I know some west indian places with lunch specials advertise that you hit the place at 12:45pm and they still aint finish cook their first pot a rice. Fast food! wunnah mekkin sport!

And while I wont say west indian cusine is the healtiest food out there come on now can you really compare a nice peas n rice dinner with kfc or mcdonalds. Give me a break!

And what exactly is an anti-stab vest? These Brits duz got a funny name fa evating nuh.

Weatherman say

One thing about living up North in this place. When the weather nice ya duz really appreciate it. And yes I would prefer to live in a place that warm all round like Buh-bay-dus but alas its not to be at the moment. Still when you living someplace like Toronto and you see the weather heat up to something livable after a cruelly cold and bitter winter it duz really change ya disposition and make you appreciate things a lil different.

When 30 Celsius is ya norm ya tend to take it for granted. Here bram we see 15C after a cold cold winter and we looking to celebrate; the shorts come out, the sunglasses and we feeling like we in de tropics.

And annuda thing ya duz realize and its strange cause you don't realize it til afterwards but during the winter people duz be real real scarce. It doesn't seem so at the time cause unless is big snowstorm you still see a fair amount of hustle and bustle in the everyday goings and comings during the winter and the subways and malls duz still be packed but once the nice weather hit even for a day you realize just how big this place is wid plenty plenty people as they just seem to come out of the woodwork, milling on patios and sitting on benches and just trying to capture as much of the suns precious rays as possible. If I din know better I would swear that in spring people duz split and multiply and bloom like de flowers in the garden.

But that is how it is. When sunlight scarce ya appreciate it that much more when you do get it I think. We Caribbean people at home doan appreciate it so. It duz be like "cheese on bread why the sun gotta be suh hot this marnin um is 9 o clock an i sweating already" meanwhile a fella like me duz be up hayso bundle up in summuch fur jacket that people mistaking me for de Yeti.

Anyways doan worry we Canadian people (good gosh dem assimilate me an got me referring to a "we" now. help muh nuh) gine soon start complaining juss ya wait an see. Come it hit 25 and 30C next month or month after next all dem gine start saying well at least when um cold ya can put on layers but when um hot ya cant tek off ya skin and dem gine be cussing sun and killing electricity wid de aircon at negative numbers trying to recreate fridges in their homes and offices. But dat is people fa ya, never appreciate nuttin uh. cha!

Not me though, nuh complaints bout heat fa me, I look forward to my 30C, I wish it was so everyday.

Ramping Shop

Ok this aint no Easter post!

Now nuff words have been said about the banning of Ramping Shop and other songs of its ilk by the Jamaican authorities. Although I have a view, I wont weigh in here on whether it was right or wrong cause some will argue society echoing art and others art echoing society, is a chicken or egg dilemma and too much interaction between the two for me to win an argument on that in a lil 200 word blog.

Now I hear the Ramping shop song a few times cause it been on the mixes for a few good months but I really aint pay much attention to anything besides the riddim. That was until this past weekend where I was walking around with the ipod and the song came on and I finally listened closely to the lyrics and realized how slack they were. I mean yea I've heard worse in my day but still ya cant consider this song decent nuhway ya look at it. Dem people was talkin bout some things dat turn mi head boy! Wha, I even had to google some of them lyrics to figure out what them was talking bout.

But one particular lyric in that song had me. It was the line Vybz uses about "Deal wid yuh breast like mi crushing irish". Potatoes I assume. Actually it reminded me of the Mavado "squeeze her breasts like the trigger of my gun" lyric from another dancehall song. So I stop in my tracks and was there visualizing some fella with a potato masher or a fork in he hand and he mashing way hard hard hard on the poor woman's boobs or another fella squeezing breasts like he is a shotta in a Die Hard II or Terminator movie and wondering if while he squeezing he duz stay low and keep firing, whether he shooting a regular handgun or a semi automatic and whether he duz dive bout like dem fellas in the movies while still shooting cause damn that sounds like some serious pain infliction to me. Ouch! And I was wondering but is how dat could be pleasurable to either party involved? Wha dat doan mek nuh sense. Wuhloss !

But that one line was an eyeopener for me. I mean I been listening to dancehall from since Yellowman and Lovindeer was running tings and it never really hit home for me until now. I mean I know the music is misogynistic an all but still something dawned on me that I hadn't considered before.

Ya ever notice that sex in dancehall songs doan sound pleasant at all? It duz sound like war and violence, murda in de market like somebody getting beat kill. I mean if I personally was an alien from another planet (and I not confirming that I am or am not) and my first introduction to Jamaica was via current dancehall music my first thought would be that sex in Jamaica is something akin to an ancient gladiator brawl or the WWF with all these wicked slams and that Jamaican women quite frankly must long time ago either have invested in full body armour for sex or are alternately all dead from being "killed with it" or are walking around crippled or handicapped from the nuff bruises, broken limbs and war wounds which are sure to have been inflicted courtesy of all the stabbing, jukking and daggering that duz be going on in songs. I mean 100 juks, 1000 stabs, wha ya cant pass that off as manslaughter no way ya look at it. Something so could only be premeditated murder in the first degree to me.

And then I was reading a ting on the Nation website yesterday and realize well is not only women suffering from this daggering thing cause according to them lately penises in Jamaica breaking rather fracturing at a record rate. Apparently all the daggering and juks and stabs backfiring and fellas getting wounded. Well a so it a go I guess.

Cuhdear!

Still all I saying again is if you follow dem dancehall fellas you cud only find yaself in trouble. All them juks and stabs somebody gotta get hurt and that is my perspective whether i is an alien or not.

Facial therapy

I always wonder about the people that design cosmetic products for men. And by cosmetics I not talking no makeup I mean like creams and lotions and hair products and the like cause it seems to me like the cosmetic companies duz put nuff nuff money into producing and marketing all sorta items to women who they see as a discerning bunch with plenty money to spend to look pretty pretty but then they duz juss quickly slap together some residue in the lab and market it to men.

Case in point. You ever notice that any type of facial cream or face wash or after shave business that marketed towards a man duz all stan a certain way? Don't let them fool ya! They duz market them off with sporting icons and the like and use words like cool and refreshing and brisk and chilling and show you people jumping in pools and muscular six pack fellas with nice hair and pronounced faces rubbing their chin and splashing on the product looking like some Adonis and you duz feel that the product nice nice. Well if so n so use this it might be saying something you think.

Then you try the thing and ya duz realize that all them sort of words so to excite ya with visions of nice sea breezes and fresh air is nothing but code words meaning burn and sting.

Is like dese people feel that we faces mek outta old leather. (Which reminds me, I remember one time them had a certain shampoo that say when ya feel the tingle that mean it working. Well boy tingle was code word for when ya feel like somebody slap ya in ya head wid a Molotov cocktail and ya scalp on fire and you run screaming from the shower that means its working.)

I feel dese lab fellas dont test these products properly. They duz test on animals like dragons or armadillos or rhinoceroses or something so or they duz use some old fella that he been testing these products since 1934 when he face get burn off in an industrial incident or something so and he aint got nuh sorta nerves endings in he skin left.

Cause dem products marketed to men duz be harsh harsh harsh. Well not all but quite a lot of them. But then that is what ya get when you look and see who duz produce some of these products. People that make razor blades shouldn't be making no creams and lotions, people dat duz mek athletic gear (I mean wunnah Adidas) shouldn't be diversifying into no body wash.

Them fella dont have no clue!

Anyways I growing a beard. Done wid all that burning off my face.

Feting is fundamental

This one takes the cake.

A woman in Trinidad, a state witness to some murder case, in some sort of protective custody leff the safe house the authorities were holding her in to go to a fete.

At the fete somebody hold on pun she an dem find she dead dead dead out in de open the next day.

Cheese on bread den! Do I really need to say any more?

Look I sorry but you would got to be a certain sort of igrant to leave protective custody to go to a fete. I mean who thinks to themself well boy I safe here in this safeouse but ya know where I wud be safer? Answer a big fete.

Not only that but when I read the story the second time I realize the woman left a safe house in Tobago and fly to Trinidad to fete! No local fete she went to she fly to a fete! this aint no local stupidity that is like crossing international borders to commit acts of stupidity. That is what ya duz call high class stupidity.

But imagine yourself in a safe house, under heavy manners cause you see a crime an you gotta testify. Now obviously you in a safe house cause somebody think you are in danger before you testify if not you could be in your own home chilling out eating some buss up shot drinking a Solo right.

Now would you be in said safehouse thinking "eh eh is saturday gurl, big fete up in the hill. chupse!, but is how dese police boy got me in hay an I missing a wine. ooh goosh is Machel playing? Well I not missing Machel fa nobody ya kno! oh gooossh nuh gurl I aint missing my wine fa no foolish case. Is Trinidad I going right right now."

So somebody call you and you say alright well is only lil protective custody ting, dat aint nuttin, it aint like I in danger cause is only a murder case I dealing wid so I going see alllya tonight at the fete.

Well I aint know bout anybody else but if I personally had to testify in any sorta case even if um was a jaywalking case I keeping my behind quiet. Fete wud got to miss. If I did see something so like a murder and had to testify I din gine even leff my house to go up the road to buy two doubles furthermore fly from Tobago to Trinidad. I wud be watching every shadow I see. In fact I din even peeping out the window, I wud be hiding under the bed wearing a topsy as a helmet just in case a bullet or a big rock miss an come through a window.

Ya think I kidding? Not me boy! I din going out like that at all. I woulda ask the police for bullet proof vests, protective coocoons, voice altering software, dark shades, wigs, bleaching creames, makeup artists and anything else them cud think of to change my appearance.

No boy fete would got to come to me but I din leffin that safe house so.

Bosh Bash

Poor Chris Bosh!

Been a tough season. Man oh man!

First off injuries, then de team that was supposed to be so good, according to the GM anyways, flop this season, then Shaquille O'Neal called him the Rupaul of big men in the NBA and now this! And them buss this new set of news on his birthday just to shame he lil more when he should be out feting. Cuhdear!

What news? I talking about the news that Bosh's former girlfriend/financee (yes I mispell it on purpose) suing him for child support.

Cuhdear!

And yes many of you will say NBA player being sued for child support ain't no big deal happens all the time. Which is true but Bosh has made his name in the NBA and in Toronto as being one of those guys who wouldn't be caught up in this type of drama. He's a "good guy". Nice guy image. That is the type of athlete Toronto likes and embraces even if they don't perform.

I mean irony of ironies Bosh's image here like O.D.B is all about the kids. Raptors foundation, Sick Kids, Make a wish, Literacy campaigns, Boys and Girls Club of Canada. Bosh is all over the media daily repping for one children's program or another so imagine how it look that he not taking care of his home responsibilities. Ya mean, he trying to look out for other people pickney but not his own. Mi naa buy it!

Image buss!

Truth be told I tell Bosh get ridda dat financee gal from the time she was on the sidelines heckling and riling up Lebron and mek we lost that game last season cause juss cause ya got front row seats and is a player girlfriend aint nuh right fa you to get involved in the game. Sit down, shut up and enjoy the overpriced ACC food like everybody else and leff off dat sorta thing to fellas like Mars Blackman and Col. Jessop, that's Spike and Jack Nicholson in case you didn't figure it out. If you want the spotlight I sure there is video girl work available otherwise stay outta big NBA man business that.

Still I din know that he (Bosh) had she pregnant. How he going kick she out of his house full pregnant and then refuse to support the child?

Cuhdear! Wha wid an alleged move like that I can only guess that he trying to tek heat off the other Chris (Mr Brown I talkin bout you).

Still I didn't come to beat up on Bosh yet. Like they say three sides to each story. She side is that he is a deadbeat dad. Lawless, good for nothing, igrant, ugly brute that wont look after his responsibilities. Only see the 4 month old pickney two time so far and baby mudda broke and need money to tek care of this chile.

His side? Well that came out this morning. He claim that his lawyers are the one's that started the proceedings and that he's apparently down to take care of his responsibilities and support the chile (whic he should be with all them millions he duz mek) but like de former financee she want extra and hit he wid a suit. Whax! Hmmmm.

Boshy boy ya have to be careful. I was just reading a Sport Illustrated article saying that about 60% of former NBA players duz be broke 5 years after their playing days done and saying that child support and divorce is two of the main reasons these men duz end up broke. Dont let she stick ya for all ya paper boy.

But anyways like I said three sides to each story. She side out, he side coming out and one can only hope to pick little piece of the third side, that being the truth, out of each of the other two stories.

All I know is Bosh image tek a good lik this week. Not sure if it going recover here in Toronto.

Ah what do I care I've been pushing for the GM to trade him since January anyways.

Sinister

Last week I was thoroughly engrossed in the Stephanie Rengel murder trial. The trial, which was occurring here in Toronto exposed details on a sick and twisted tragedy which really did not need to happen. But then what murder of a 14 year old is necessary?

The shortened version of the story is this for those of you who haven't heard it: M.T a teenager (15 at the time I believe) had a 17 year old boyfriend D.B. (For your info they cant be fully named here in Canada as they were both minors at the time of the crime) M.T was very jealous of a girl who D.B had, been in a prior relationship with, that being Stephanie. She thought that Stephanie wanted to have D.B back and that she was spreading tales about M.T having sex with other boys.

M.T over a period of months cajoled, begged, threatened, blackmailed and bullied her boyfriend D.B into killing Stephanie. Its all documented in tonnes of text messages and I.M messages that they had over this period. D.B resisted for a while but M.T threatened to withhold sex and then to sleep with other boys if D.B did not give into her demands and kill Stephanie.

Apparently he came close in October of 2007 and didn't have the heart but finally with more threats from M.T he finally did the deed, luring Stephanie from her home one winter evening, the evening of New Years day 2008 to be exact, where he finally stabbed her numerous times and left her to bleed to death in the snow. With her last breaths she was able to finger the murderer to a passerby who found her dying in the cold. D.B meanwhile called after his deed was complete and told his girlfriend M.T that it was done. She called Stephanie's phone to check, just to make sure and then D.B went back to M.T's place for a nice sex romp, his reward for fulfilling his mission.

Pretty chilling stuff for a couple of teenagers. You can google it if you want more details.

The trial this week was for the girl M.T, D.B's trial is later in the year, and after three days of deliberation, which was about three days too long in my opinion, the jury came back with a guilty verdict. We await sentencing.

Now I know that child and teen crime isn't the once shocking occurrence that it used to be. 10 year olds have murdered, kids have plotted and succeeded in killing parents etc but this one, maybe because of the wealth of supporting evidence showing how the plot was developed and the amount of begging, convincing and threatening done by M.T to get it carried out seems especially chilling.

Its also rather instructive to see how the family of the murder accused saw her still as a school smart young lady, with little street smarts who would never do something like this. They had no clue as to the vulgar and disturbing messages that their little "angel" was sending online and via text message or as to the plot she had conceived using boyfriend D.B as the de facto murder weapon.

What can you say about it all? Kids these days are being exposed to a lot of stuff from early, I'm not sure we can shield and protect them anymore. Their childhood definitely will not be the same as ours. Still I guess one can only try to give them a good foundation, stay involved in what they are doing, keep on their ass, give them proper context into which to understand the knowledge that they are being bombarded with daily and pray. A whole heap a pray.

Well and if that doesn't work there is always Liks.

Still its mind boggling to me that a girl as young as M.T would conceive of this sick crime and use her body as collateral to get it done. Did she understand that murder was wrong? Did she think well maybe there is another way to solve this issue with Stephanie, did she think about consequences? Did her parents ever think to check her moral compass somewhere along the way? Lots of unanswered questions.

For all the smarts it took to plan this murder etc, she was extremely naive to think that she would get away with it. A case of too much know how but not enough knowledge?

And what about the victim. Yea what about her and her family. Destroyed over something so like this. So senseless.

No idea. Mi nuh know how de yout get so.

Dirty Spring

Hurray for warmer weather! Couldnt come too soon in my opinion. Brutal winter we've had. Cold to rattle the bones!
My only complaint about warmer weather is the initial dirt that we see when the snow melts. Its like everyone has emptied their garbage under the snow and now with the melt we see it all: Cans, fast food paper bags, coffee cups, bottles etc etc. Yuck!

For Lease

If I didn't know any better I would swear that there is a new chain of stores called "For Lease" here in Toronto and they are taking over the city like gangbusters because as I travel around the city I keep seeing that sign more and more in storefront windows.

I wonder what the occupancy rate is for retail stores in this city these days because it used to be pretty high a few years back with new outfits just waiting to swoop in and take coveted real estate anywhere downtown. Not so now. Empty storefronts growing daily. Not just the usual fly by night operators in the usual locales getting burnt or burning bridges by not paying rent. Places that have been around for years and were seemingly stable outfits going down, out of business too.

Such is life in the recession I guess.

This photo is from Barbados, St Lawrence Gap to be exact courtesy the PlanetBarbados Blog but it could just as easily be applied to Toronto and probably just about most places these days.

If it isn't "For Lease" then Sale seems to be the byword of the day. Its a virtual utopia for bargain hunters (assuming anybody got two shillings to spare).

Every storefront that doesn't have in a For Lease sign has in a sale sign. I mean none of them aint as blatant as that sign in the picture but we get the idea. Business does suck, please buy or we'll go out of business too.


That's just the 2009 reality. A so it a go!

So much for that

Remember just after 9/11 how the entire world was sympathetic to the US and people who found glee in the fall of the towers, or who blamed the US for their misfortune etc were the wackos and the sickos? We could even justify the invasion of Afghanistan with a well the US didn't start it or at least weren't the ones who escalated the conflict argument.

Then swiftly the world's opinion turned as retaliation and protection turned into naked aggression and an invasion of Iraq. Today Obama is still trying to get folks to change their opinion on the US to something more positive.

Well I'm finding the current Chris Brown/Rhianna episode somewhat similar somewhat. Initially we were all aghast over Chris Brown's behavior and there was no shortage of pity for glamour girl Rhianna. What kind of sick dude beats up a woman like that? Shame on him, shame shame shame. He deserve a good thrashing and some jail time and two cement bricks pelting at his head and a proper cutass.

And I still think he does actually but .....

The sympathy factor for Rhianna is starting to seriously fade because of her actions post beating. Even fellow females aren't really feeling that sympathetic towards her these days as with every news item or rumour you are left wondering just how stupid is this girl?

Yes she still didn't deserve her beating, no one does but why is she putting herself in a situation ie staying with Brown or letting him off the hook where she could be in harms way again? Did the beating cause some sort of head damage? Is she just that naive? There is fools falling in love and then there is stark raving madness and idiocy of the highest degree. From everyone's perspective other than it appears Rhianna her actions fall in the latter category.

And who the hell are her handlers and advisers? You mean there isn't someone to say girl look at how the man smash your face to a pulp? Do you seriously want to stay with him after that? Do you seriously not think he deserves to be punished? Why are you allegedly spending time with him? Stay the hell away from homeboy! Why not let the judge get a restraining order on him? Do you not realize that you are also harming your career by doing what you're doing now. You are making yourself into an object of ridicule and derision.

And yes I agree its always difficult to look at these situations from the outside with limited info and know exactly whats going on but damn the police report, a report based on your evidence, said the man went all WWF on her, headlocks and slamming head into car windows and all. These actions do not qualify as love taps, they qualify as unadulterated abuse.

And while its always in these cases easy to sympathize with a target, its harder to maintain that sympathy when the target does nothing to withdraw from the abusive situation or tries to lay it off. We feel like we're misplacing our emotions, like well why should we waste our time feeling sorry for you when you obviously don't care enough about yourself to try to put things straight. We feel like our initial outrage and anger has been thrown back into our faces by you.

Its a valid reaction.

Wake up girl, ya mekkin bajans and women all over the world shame.