gun play?

So some of you may know that I have a 4 year old at home. Dont worry I wont get all cute and cuddly (not that I know how to) regaling you with kid do the funniest things stories just yet. Not really in my character actually.

But sometime after Jdid Jr was born I signed up for this email update from this site which gives you info on certain milestones, expected behaviors at what ages etc. They send weekly updates and bad parent that I am, I maybe read like one in four since I not really sure what I can do or whether I'd really be pushing him to make all the milestones if he's not there already cause in my opinion children all develop at different rates. Still the emails are interesting sometimes especially when they do correspond to some new quirk that Jr has developed in his personality.

Anyways this week they sent me an email which I scanned about four year old behavior. The last paragraph read

"And now that your child is becoming ever more social, it's important to check in with the parents of his playdates to make sure that any guns they have at their home are locked up at all times. You may choose not to let him play at houses where weapons are stored, even if they are in a safe. And, of course, if your family has guns, you'll want to be equally sure that they're always locked away."

Boy all I could do was laugh. I know one of you will say is a sign of the times but I'm here waiting to see if next week's update says something like and its important to make sure that the parents of his playdates dont smoke crack. If they do freebase you might choose not to let him go over to their crack house.

lawd a mercy!

So what

ok I trying to not just blog about celebrity things but I couldnt resist this one here.

The big news lately is about Sandra Bullock who just won a big Oscar and how her husband was cheating on her with some tattooed floozy.

Now I understand why its fairly big news but at the same time why are we acting all shocked here? Is it because she's famous and accomplished and we don't think guys cheat on famous and accomplished women? Cause I'm sure Halle Berry and Hillary Clinton would say umm wait a minute now.

And look at the dude. I mean the revelation that Tiger Woods cheated was shocking given his prior clean cut image but Sandra bullock's husband doesn't have that image. I mean the dude's name is Jesse James, you know like the famous outlaw who he claims to be family to. Dude looks like a thug not that thugs all cheat or anything but he looks like the type of cat that a woman's mother would tell her to stay away from cause he aint no good.

Then dude has been married twice and one of his former wives was a porn star. How many decent dudes you know that will marry a porn star? They may mess around with one if given the chance but marry umm no. Now I don't know bout you but this image of Jesse James doan say choir boy to me. So why the shock?

Is it cause Sandra is America's sweetheart? And I never really got that whole title cause not to kick her when she's down but seriously she aint all that.

Twit!

I'm sorry but am I the only one a bit disturbed that an elected member of the Canadian Parliament was tweeting during question and answer session in the House of Commons yesterday?

Lisa Raitt seems to have found a cure for ministerial boredom in the House of Commons.

The labour minister announced on Twitter Wednesday that she would live tweet during question period, and proceeded to provide colour commentary - literally.

What the hell?

I mean seriously is this the sort of behavior that our elected officials should be engaging in during House sessions? Is our government one big joke? (Wait don't answer that one.)

Isn't this the political equivalent of doodling in class or hiding comics in your text book? Shouldn't you, our leaders be paying attention? Is running this country sooooo boring that you have to tweet?

And she's not even a backbencher. I could maybe just possibly forgive this act if she was a backbencher (actually I'd probably be pretty pissed then too) but she's a minister. The Minister of Labour for Pete's sake! Isnt that an important portfolio? Shouldn't she be paying attention during the question session? Good grief! When else does she tweet one wonders? During policy meetings?

Pay attention!

I mean given what sometimes passes for political discourse at some of these sessions I'm not surprised but damn at least pretend that you're sort of interested in what's going on and representing your constituents who I'm pretty sure didn't vote you in for your tweeting skills.

At least when I was messing around in class doodling I at least pretended that I was interested. This is just openly mocking us.

No disrespect to twitter, it serves its purpose (whatever that may be), and its cool to see politicians using the new media/social interaction stuff to reach the tech savvy crowd but there is a time and place for everything and in my opinion the House of Commons is definitely not the place to be tweeting about trivial stuff like what others are wearing unless you're working for fashion TV.

Stay focused man!

Seriously, its bad enough that Parliament was prorogued on a whim for like two months for no real reason but then you guys just come back and you are already tweeting? Way to take governing seriously! And to think that you politicos make the decisions that affect our lives? Wonder why our economy and societies are so messed up? Why its because our leaders are too busy twittering their lives away. Duhh! (OK that's probably not the main reason but still)

Damn damn damn!

Seriously I mean tweeting! Really! Really? Tweeting? Are you serious? Come on now.

Whats that phrase? Nero fiddles while Rome burns. Guess we need to update that to something about Raitt tweeting while Canada fumbles along.

Fashion faux pas

Wha she did wearing atall doah?

The food was nice, real good actually but I'm still trying to wrap my head around the waitress' getup. In fact I spent the entire meal trying to figure out how to comprehend and adequately convey the outfit in question in text and I still dont think I've found the words.

It was like fan girl meets burlesque meets street walker meets I duz juss wear this at home. But that doesnt get to the heart of the outfit. The word Obzocky comes to mind and if ya want an official explanation of that word let me self reference to this post cause even wikipedia a quote de I (puffs out chest to look important, realizes that chest still not bigger than belly, silently gives up).

She was wearing pum pum shorts, long black see through stockings or leggings under the shorts and a pink top with black polka dots which was long enough to half cover the shorts at the back and was tied around her neck. The top had seen better days judging by the dullness of the colors. It was then all covered with a black sweater which came to just below her waist allowing the pink polka dot top to be revealed at the bottom as well as at the section tied around her neck. The entire ensemble was completed by a thick black ribbon tied at an angle on her head.

See even that doesn't truly convey the sight. I still think I'm missing something here. Hmm maybe I'll just stick to obzocky.

Lovely lovely food though.

Smokinggggg!

Is it just me or are there way more young women smoking these days than say 5 years ago?

I feel like almost every time I walk down the streets of downtown Toronto I see at least one 20 or 30 something female walking around with a cigarette held in the typical index and middle finger pose or blowing out a fine mist of smoke while looking all nonchalant about it.

Is there actually an increase or am I just noticing it more these days? I mean vibrant fresh faced young women, stylish in their designer labels not the normally I've been smoking for 20+ years females that you normally see types.

Was there a push on advertising of cigarettes to women? Oh wait tobacco companies don't advertise these days. Is it just the in "cool" thing to do?

Who knows.

Hero

You know I couldnt let the Giambroni story get cold without a second post right?

Toronto say hi to your newest hero (pictured on the side). Kristen Lucas is the 20 year old co-ed who was involved with city councilor and former mayoral candidate Adam Giambroni and who blew the whistle on Giambroni's little affairs while he purportedly had a live in partner seen with Giambroni in the photo below. You can read part of her story here.

Now some of you might say why am I calling her a hero? Why should I view her that way if all she did was unknowingly had an affair with this politician?

Well I am calling her a hero because Toronto you better recognize that this woman single-handedly has saved your city from being ruled by a nitwit. You should be writing odes and singing her praises.

Think about it. If she doesn't come out with this story, maybe Giambroni's campaign doesn't get derailed. He apparently had an excellent campaign team and maybe just maybe they find a way for him to beat Smitherman and next fall this man is our mayor.

Why is this such a bad thing you ask? You say well he's done a decent job running the TTC. Decent could be argued I guess since the TTC has seen better days and to tell the truth service sucks right now but still he does have a bit of management experience right.

Well you are correct but then again I personally believe that the events of the past few days have proven that this man is too stupid to run this city. His handling of the whole affair thing proves this and yesterday's press conference to announce his dropping out of the mayoral race gives even more proof that he is not ready for the big time.

But Adam Giambrone’s City Hall office had armed him with only one page of a two-page speech, say two sources close to his campaign.

So with the eyes of the city upon him, he realized a page was missing. Suddenly, he said “Thank you,” spun on his heels, and charged out a door and down a staircase surrounded by a phalanx of city staff and security.

“He only had the first page, the second page was still in the printer,” in his City Hall office, said a campaign source who spoke on condition of anonymity.

What do you mean the second page was still in the printer? Who goes to give a resignation speech and gets on stage and then all of a sudden realizes they are missing a page? If the dude can mess up something that simple what do you think he would do running our city? Good lord we might wake up one day four years from now as a satellite of Mississauga by the time he was finished.

Its this simple, you wrote a two page speech (Since they claimed he crafted it himself) then make sure you have a two page speech in hand, or at least if you only have one page make sure that its double sided. Come on dude. Or keep a copy on your blackberry man, I know all you political cats have one. How do you mess up not having the entire speech.

And even if God forbid you are silly enough to lose or miss page number 2 don't just run out abruptly. What are we little children here? Man up son! You're a politician wing it fool, wing it. Go freestyle!

Now after seeing him screw up a resignation (and ya got to be a special type a eediat to mess up quitting) how can we possibly have any confidence that that man could have run this city?

That's why I (and you should too) applaud Kristen Lucas for her bold act at the expense of her self and the ridicule that she will now draw from folk even though its not her fault. She stepped up to the plate. She called Giambroni out on his lies and the fallout was that dude choked under pressure and showed his true colors. He is a fraud (not a particularly damning trait in his line of business) and he clearly doesn't have the backbone to be mayor.

People will call her names and say she is just looking for attention and fame etc and who knows maybe that's part of it, maybe she wanted to be heard to have her story told. Whatever it was I cant help but think she did the right thing. Maybe it was done in haste or in anger cause Giambrone was playing her but ultimately it worked out for the best for our city Toronto.

So big up Kristen Lucas, you are my hero and I salute you. nuh ridicule di gal give 'er a medal nuh. Thanks for saving us from Miller 2.0.

I might run 4 mayor

i might run for mayor, ***** ask your momma ima mutha**** player
Mayor - Pac Division

In one message, Giambrone tells Lucas, "I still think of you when I need ... um ... stimulation."


Toronto city councillor Adam Giambrone fled from a news conference unable to speak Wednesday morning, leaving an aide to announce the end of Giambrone’s mayoralty campaign.......
He said the scandal taught him “that a public career of integrity” cannot survive the disclosures about multiple affairs.

De man get skin up and skin out!

What a poppit! Now imagine he running for mayor, bring out he pretty lil political supposed live in partner decked out in she sensible dress and pearls loooking all like she going to the white house and meanwhile he got a young hottie .... or two on the side that he ummm sexting wid amongst other things.

And how he going to break up wid one a de young hotties by waiting til he ready to run for mayor to tell the girl that he got a partner and then saying but that dont change nuttin between we an tellin she he still thinking of she when he need stimulation. Wha any half decent woman in dem right mind aint want nuh man to tell them dat dem got anudda woman an dem just thinking a dem as a sex toy. That dem is number 2 cause even if they suspect that they are they want the illusion that they arent. Cuhdear now. Wha Giambrone could be thinking though? He really thought that the girl was gine guh long wid this plan? Wha he aint even got nuh looks nor nuh Tiger Woods money. Man he duz tek the train and streetcar to work juss like me. Ya feel the woman gine tek a number two spot from a fella like so. Chupse!

He really is a clown fa true though and a fraud and a liar cause from the text messages and stuff that have been exposed it seems like this live in partner he trotted out when he declared his candidacy was a bare cover for his political aspirations meanwhile in reality he living like he believe the line in de song "the gal pun the side juk the best" and having what he say now "multiple affairs".

And what about the accusations that he was giving the one girl insider TTC info. Not that that worth a hill a beans one way or the other but as a public official even if ya cant keep ya fly shut ya shud be able to keep ya mout shut when it comes to policy decisions coming down the pipeline. He fail big time.

And to see the tall gangly yout ya neva woulda tell that him a galyst ya know. Well well well.

Where he went wrong was in trotting out the fraudulent live in partner. If he did just run as a single fella we wouldn't be having this discussion. So he was getting frisky with multiple women. So he had sex at City hall. Whatever! We would just write it off as he's a politicians an dem fellas aint easy. But no he had to cover and lie and when ya cover and lie and ya get expose that is where all the drama duz arise.

Anyhow he din gine win the mayor race nuh how so is juss that he embarrass heself and the live in partner and he family.

Pet Peeve

Ok just a short rant. Yesterday I was at the mall and kept seeing all these adults with toddlers trailing many feet behind them. Now granted the mall wasn't that busy when I was there but whats the deal with the parent walking 4 feet ahead and the child doodling behind? It just look lawless and dangerous too. And then every once in a while the parent duz look back and tell the child hurry up or stop and wait for them to catch up. I'm sorry this pisses me off cause what if the child gets lost or somebody try to steal way the child? Yes ya wud hope that ain't going happen but this ain't the type of society you can take that risk and ya shouldn't have no young child traipsing behind you so like they is a big man or woman. Seriously what are they thinking? Shouldn't the child be by your side or in front you where you can keep an eye on them?

Mail

I dont know if this has ever happened to any of you before but its happened to me twice so thought I'd share.

Today I had to mail off a small package. Had been to the post office on Friday to pick up the nice little padded envelope they sell there and came back today with everything packed and ready to go.

So I hand de package to the post office clerk, Of course she weigh um and ask what in it. I tell she. Why it is the next step she gine do is to measure the package with a tape measure too. I mean is not like I bring in me own cardboard box, I using an envelope that they the post office themselves sell me, that is a standard size. Why she had to remeasure it? That aint mek no sense to me. Dem think I tamper wid de envelope and unmek it and stitch it back bigger than the standard size?

Chupse!

Paul Shirley

I just read former NBA player Paul Shirley's letter on Haiti and I am completely flabbergasted.

This is the main part everyone's focusing on but check the link for the full article.

Dear Haitians –
First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.

As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?

Sincerely,

The Rest of the World

Wow! You mean somebody actually thought this and were ignorant enough to not only voice it but take the time to sit down and write it? You mean someone actually believes this? And people say you Mr Shirley are an educated man, went to College, got a degree, was writing columns for ESPN (they fired him yesterday after this came out).

Seriously were you just trying to get the heat off Pat Robertson for his statements the other week cause I mean you cant be this callous and heartless can you?

I mean this week I was arguing over who was the bigger jackass as an NBA player, what with Greg Oden's nude photos that he sent on his cell phone and Gilbert Arenas getting suspended the entire season for gun play and losing $20+ Mil in pay but you Mr Shirley have seriously upped the ante, beat the pre-race favorites and threaten to run away with the entire eediat contest. Hell you could possibly be the biggest eediat who played any professional sport in North America (and yes that includes such classic eediats as Plaxico, Vick and O.J)

But look let me school you here star. It was an earthquake. Its not like the Haitians were playing with guns or bombs and something accidentally went off. No it was an act of God, a natural disaster, it could have happened to anyone so seriously how can you blame the victim for the disaster?

And how distasteful that you telling people wear condoms and bout birth control. Star ya mudda neva teach ya nuh rass manners? Ya aint got no broughtupsy or what? Ya uncouth and out of line, rude and out of order. In basketball terms that means ya flagrant category 2, now shut up and get ya tail out the game.

And to think I read a few of your ESPN columns over the course of the years when you were struggling playing in the minor leagues and telling people what it was like to be striving to get back in the NBA and such and thought he's a nice guy, he trying real hard I hope he makes it back.

No instead now I see you as worse than the pampered current lot of NBA players cause you sir cant even have a little compassion for your fellow man that down on his luck.

I mean nuhbody aint saying you have to donate no money but at least realize that this is a tragedy any which way you look at it and that while yes things could have been better in Haiti we not sharing no blame to innocent people and if we were to be sharing blame realize that a whole heap would have to go to you and your country so hush up.

Imagine you comparing giving these people money to giving it to homeless street people that going waste it and comparing the people themselves to cavemen building unfit to live in abodes. Eh eh, rudebwoy ya really really going too far with this thing.

Compassion, Empathy, love for your fellow man star. And thank God that you were born where you were and had the ability to play a game for a living and make more money in a few years than a whole heap of these Haitian people pooling their resources could ever see in their lifetimes.

Clearly you know nothing about Haiti, clearly you are just chatting for chatting sake so please go away. David Zirin at the Nation magazine said it best though Dear Paul Shirley, I only wish your father had taken your own advice and worn a condom. Go to hell.

Whats even worse is you should see the comments on the original article agreeing with him. wow, says alot about some of the human race.

Terror in the Pie

Throwing a pie in the face of Canada's fisheries minister to protest the seal hunt should earn animal rights group PETA a "terrorist" label, a Canadian lawmaker said Tuesday.

A seal hunt protester hit Fisheries Minister Gail Shea with a cream pie on Monday as she gave a speech in Burlington, Ontario.

The animal rights group, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, later claimed responsibility for the incident.

Me and the wife was talking bout this tonight. The story is this. Some 37 year old American woman, on behalf of PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals), left home in New York to come all the way to Ontario, Canada, to throw a pie at a Canadian Government minister to protest Canada's seal hunt. PETA claims responsibility for the incident.

Now on the face of it, the Canadian government opposition member who made the comments about seeing if PETA fits the terrorist bill can just be laughed off cause we think of terrorists as bombers and shooters, jihadists, killers of infidels, fundamentalist religious types with an axe to grind not pie wielding American white female types. I mean nuhbody never get kill by a pie in the face right? Well I guess its possible but still a bit improbable.

But on the other hand think about it. An organization with a fundamentalist agenda based in another country sends an operative past the Canadian border into the country to assault a Canadian government minister. Sounds alot like terrorism when I say that right?

Now lets for arguments sake say what if. What if say the other country in which the organization who sent the assaulter was based oh lets say somewhere in the Middle East and the government official was oh lets say American. Would not people be screaming blue murder about terrorists and harboring of criminals that aint true?

Why even a Canadian fella once tried to go across the border to the US to bomb something or the other and since then we ben hearing about what a bastion of terrorism lovers we have over here and how porous our borders are. That aint true?

Plus this act was an assault by a fringe organization (PETA) in an attempt to make a foreign (Canadian) government change their policies. To intimidate and to endanger and to make a point. Isn't that what terrorist do? I dont know what the official definition of terrorism is and I really wouldn't want to stick my neck out here and claim the pie thrower is a terrorist but yea you really have to think about this one carefully dont you.

Now yes it seems a tad frivolous on the surface cause we have bigger fish to fry right but today a pie tomorrow what will they throw? Who knows.

Now we all will say yes the act was wrong but how wrong was it? Has PETA overstepped its boundaries? I mean in my opinion, sending operatives to assault government ministers cause you dont like their policies seems to be going too far in my opinion. And then claiming responsibility for the incident. I mean whenever I hear about groups claiming resposibility for insidents I think Al Quada and Hezbollah and the IRA and those sorts of groups that happy happy that they do something to injure folks. Hmmm think about it!

Three things I think here though and they might not makee alot of seense but bear with m

One if this was olden times an a cat from another country come and assault someone in your country that would have been grounds for war. I lie? Not that we gine get we two row boat navy and a battalion of Eskimos to attack the US but still.

Two in these modern times, post 9/11, if the assault was on an American the American government would get on dixie, do bad and the attack would seen as grounds for the American government to ask for the extradition to face charges of the ringleaders of the organization that plan the attack or if the other government wasnt willing to send them they might just invade or attack them just so inside their country (Again not that we gine do nuttin so but I making a comparison).

And three if the person who assaulted the Canadian minister was Muslim or black or Indian or some sort of minority then people would be kicking up nuff fuss and looking to ban and put embargoes and other restrictions on the country of origin of that person, asking what kind of country they running that they are a haven for such deviant characters and putting all sorts of extra scrutiny at the airport on people who were the same minority as the pie thrower. Can we now assume that 37 year old American women will be put to additional scrutiny at the Canadian borders cause they might fit a profile of a PETA pie throwing operative?

Yea you know the answer to that as good as me but still think bout it. And like I said I'm not saying PETA are terrorists but hey the Canadian opposition fella statement aint as stupid as people would make ya believe at first. Think bout it.

with this post I've probably gotten onto the PETA watchlist. nuhbody better doan come throwing nuh pie at me doah cause Isa bajan an I duz throw back big rocks.

sleeping on the job

Ok so this photo has apparently been the talk of the net lately. It shows a sleeping TTC, our local transit providers, employee at the MCCowan RT station some night this week at around 10PM catching some zzzzs. Got it over here at Torontoist who got it from some dude's twitter page.

Ok people getting real upset over this photo and although I cant blame them on the one hand I'm a bit like but it was McCowan station at 10PM. Its not exactly a hotbed of activity at the best of times and at night well yea it can be a bit lonely. Dude's probably cold too so hey he caught some sleep. Whatever!

But of course I get why this is upsetting and thinking about it some more yea it get me vex too. First off ya really shouldnt be sleeping on your job. Secondly its a safety thing, third TTC just raised their damn fares while decreasing the quality of their service so we vex, vex still and fourth we all know that TTC employees including some of their ticket booth folk get paid a ridiculous amount of money. And by ridiculous I mean more than most professionals. Some of these cats with overtime have been able to push near 100Gs. Yea I aint even joking about that. Thank their extremely strong union. Yea so why did we go to school to come out and get a 40-50G job (if we're lucky) when we could count tokens and make 80G plus. Makes you think about the value of education right.

Anyways the uproar got the TTC saying oh we going look into this matter. What they going do? Nuhbody aint going get fired, the union too strong so why waste time when this aint going nowhere.

Suicide

Anytime you a pedestrian think you can tek on a moto car think again.

Pedestrians gettin lik down in Toronto at an alarming rate since the year start. Something like 10 in the last 8 or 9 days. Lawd avest mercy!

It doesnt seem to be a case where you can say well is solely the pedestrian fault or solely the drivers it just seems to be that perfect confluence where sadly crap happens with the fault being shared equally.

Ya gotta be careful my fellow walkers cause wunnah realize that when a car hit ya it doan feel nuttin right? Still yesterday I thought I was going to be privy to another pedestrian accident and this time it would have been the pedestrian squarely and solely at fault.

I was standing in a packed 8 o'clock bus on the way to Kennedy station yesterday. The bus was so full that the driver was bypassing some of the stops cause he aint had nuh room for more people. A few stops before the station somebody ring the bell but seeing as um mighta been one body getting off and bout 10 people was at the bus stop the driver decide to drive pass the stop and let off the passenger or passengers a bit further down the road. Now who tell he to do dat!

Disgruntled and I can only describe with no exaggeration as pure eediat woman standing at the bus stop sees that the bus driver isnt slowing down to stop and steps boldly, willfully and stupidly off the sidewalk into the road into the path of the oncoming bus. Myself and other passengers could only gasp and utter a wha de while my eyes compelled me to look thinking I'd soon hear a thud cause no way could the driver avoid this lady. However somehow mashing the brakes and swerving and no doubt with the help of God he barely managed to avoid her and stopped soon after.

Thankfully somehow she get way wid trying to stand up to a big however much tonne bus. But ya think the woman would be happy she cheat death? No she get on the bus and start pissparading bout she late fa work and a bus already pass she already! Absolutely incredible!

total Eediat!!

Cuhdear Haiti

I feel for those folks in Haiti. And getting ready to write this post I know that real early on in this blog's life (when only Kami used to read) I had written a lil thing after a big hurricane strike down Haiti back in 04.

Cuhdear poor Haiti.

And that aint the last hurricane dem had eidda ya kno!

And yes it does seem like that entire country is afflicted with more burdens than they should have and that they can possibly bear with hurricanes and floods and earthquakes and all types of natural and man-made disasters just lashing those poor people year after year to the point that they cant ketch a break but really is it that they are cursed or is it just the happenstance of being in a location where natural disasters seem to strike more often than most?

Well I dont know, I think its just luck or bad luck of the draw that their side of Hispaniola just happen to be near fault lines and frequent hurricane tracks. De people aint mek demselves and ya dun know that their ancestors didnt well say amm "slavemaster boss can you drop me off at Haiti" so why people like Pat Robertson blaming de people for their predicament so. Cuhdear.

I mean when de man cud get on a Christian tv show and willingly say that the people in Haiti ketching hell cause their ancestors mek a pact wid de devil well then all I can do is shake my head cause to me that is well outta order.

Cause to me when I read that I get the feeling that he juss vex that the people was able to gain their freedom and should have just been content in bondage and slavery back then. Or that them was so inferior an half igrant an starve out an ting so that the only way they could beat the superior French and get free was to get mystical and supernatural forces to join up wid dem. Or maybe they should have just done like other slaves and wait for a liberator to arise from amongst their colonial oppressors. Yes that is what I feel he mean. Musse went an watch Avatar before he talk dat talk ya kno.

But yea I mean yes some de fellas down deyso like dem voodoo and thing an I aint fa all dat sorta ting but let we not try to mek it seem like dem any wickeder than anybody else on this God given earth. If ya looking fa a Sodom and Gomorra den I feel ya wud find one or two right deyso in the US backyard and dem aint get lash wid nuh pestilence or locusts and plagues or natural disasters for being sinful yet so why you would feel that the reason for Haiti's ills is something so?

Why when rich countries (read first world) have a disaster is just because stuff happens but poor (non-white) countries it got to be something with their ideology or religion or something so that cause this disaster to happen. Allya remember the chat a few years back when the Tsumani hit cross the odda side a de world right? How come it just cant be fate like fa the rest?

Fraud

One of the all-time greats of Major League Baseball, Mark McGwire, has finally confirmed one of the most persistent rumours in the game. In a tell-all interview on cable TV in the US, McGwire admitted to steroid use throughout much of the 1990s, casting a cloud of doubt over the numerous records he set throughout a dazzling career at the St Louis Cardinals.

Forgive the bit of a rant here but you Mark Mcgwire are a fraud!

All all these years, you walk bout wid ya arms looking bigger than Popeye in de cartoons and talk bout oh you only taking Andro (Androstenedione) and you aint tekkin no steroids and denying the allegations and ting so and now you now got the nerve to come clean. Chupse!

I mean not that I surprised. Just by looking at you wid dat top heavy body and dem big lumberjack arms an ting so anybody that really wanted to know knew you was tekkin sumting ya aint had nuh right tekkin.

And now ya play ya copying A-Rod and coming clean begging forgiveness fa ya transgressions, like ya din know ya was doing wrong then or somebody lead you astray, looking all sad faced and remoresful an feeling the public gine gi ya a bligh.

Nuh uh! Doan mind he wid ded big tricks ya hear muh. Looka de man only doing that cause he feel we gine gi he a pass an he gine get in the Baseball Hall a Fame. Doan gi he nuh pass though.

He is a liard liar. Doan fall fa that remorse act.

And he got me vex too cause how come everybody jump down Barry Bonds throat bout steroids and gi Mcgwire a pass when we did know he was using something? Um is cause Bonds caustic and din nuh press favorite an nuhbody outside he mudda and the people a San Franciso cann tek he at all? Is that the reason? All de press can quote this an that and show images saying Bonds head get big like a ripe watermelon in recent years showing he was on the steroids but nuhbody never do nuttin so and say looka how much like a cartoon character Mcgwire look when he was breaking records compared to how normal he looked back in the day. Nuhbody aint do nuttin so ya kno!

Yea the race ting duz play into um too cause McGwire was the All-American hero here to save boring baseball with he long ball homeruns and brek records and put people in the seats and eyes on the tv. He was a icon! So dem look past he fatal flaws.

And that is why I say since he did such an icon an held so highly in regard that we shouldnt give he no pass cause everything he do when de, held he in high esteem was tainted and he was a fraud. He fall further than Bonds ever reach so hold he to at least the same standard and crucify he fa the steroids too.

Blagojevich

It always takes a while to get back into the swing of this blogging thing when I take a break. Not sure why but lemma see if I can get back on this blogging horse today.

So I gine start simple.

First off this poppit former governor Blogojevich, the same fella dat did a former governor of Illinois til he get impeach mek sum stupid statement about how he blacker than President Obama.

"I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up."

So wait because you father had a laundromat in the black community that mek you black or because you see the black community growing up that mek you black? Chupse!

This is a man dat was a governor of a big able U.S state ya kno! Ya wud feel he shud be able to put two words together widout sounding like a nincompoop but then again since he leff government he doing reality shows pun tv so I guess that about sums up wha typa clown he really is.

Lets put your blackness to the test Mr Blagovech. We'll show your photo and Mr Obama's to some klan members and see which one riles them up more. How about we put you out on the street of any large city and see who the cab stops for first.

On another note, I read this article this morning that say during the 2008 elections Hillary Clinton's people found out that Bill had a girlfriend at that time. Well well well. What can ya say about Bill. The man does get around. Yet somehow he still maintains his dignity and likeability (wait that is a real word) and still mekkin oodles a money. Tiger boy ya need Bill to show ya dem ropes.

Does begs the question though. Are we holding our politicians to a lower standard than our sportsmen?

Happy new year

May all my readers have a happy and blessed 2010.

Old Time Christmas -one more time

Did this one about two times before but the last time was 2006 (imagine I had more commentors then than I have now. Boy this de-recession got liking even mi blog) and thought I'd sort of remix it (a third time) and offer it up again. Its a long post (even by my standards) so tek ya time and read it and in case I don't blog again before Christmas all the best and Enjoy the Holidays.

de de do do doo doo doo

I took the role of lead singer
Parang soca in Arima
Fans heard of my parang band so thousands flocked the grandstand
Ne-ville Cook was the mc
When he intro-duced me
People jumping like carnival
To my rendition of serenal??

Alpacata alpacata
Who no rampu no paratha
Maria Maria Maria!
Me choroson
From Port o Spain to Faisabad everybody know Jdid mad
Maria Maria Maria
Me choroson

Was listening to the calypsonian Crazy sing some parang yesterday (I still cant decipher those words even though I've heard this song a million times) trying to get myself into the real Christmas spirit. Didn't work lol. Might be too late for me but give me the old time parang, a Christmas ham cutter and

"a gallon a rum, a gallon a rum, all I want is a gallon a rum
..........ya bringing ya family ta eat me out
and then in January cant even buy a stoute".

So my selector rewind cause, ol time Christmas come back again if not for real at least in my memories. For me it was all about the music, the food and the Christmas program at the Church.

Christmas back then to me was more that the one day. As a child there was so much anticipation of the actual Christmas day that sometimes when it arrived it was a bit anticlimactic.

But leading up to that actual day. Oh wow! Fun and excitement cann dun!

In Barbados, once Independence day was finished and December 1st hit, bram! Christmas music would be pounding down non-stop on our local stations; CBC, VOB and Reddifusion. Big tunes like this spouge one:

wha ya gonna gi me fa Christmas I need something from you
give me something for Christmas boy and I'll give you something too

and this one in parang

Hurray hurray hurrah!
Hurrah hurrah dey say!
Our savior was born today
It was through his light
While a shepherds (plight)??
for they just couldn’t believe dere eyes
And when he come a man
Ya kno dem non-christian, get tagetha an pound nails in he hand
And on the third day he rose again
So ya see he shed his blood fa we!

You just couldn't resist the Christmas fever with sweet music like that. It definitely put you in the proper frame of mind for the season. It was an eccletic mix, reggae, soca, gospel, parang, spouge, r n b every music under the sun. From Felic Navidad (Prospero ano y Felicidad) to Good King Wensalas. Big tune dat! Merrymen, Draytons Two, Singing Francine, Nat King Cole, Crazy, Michael Jackson, Jacob Killa Milla artists of all genres. Music coming from every radio in the neighborhood, transistor, radiogram, stereo, every store speaker downtown, everywhere. Just total immersion in Christmas music.

Around neighborhood in Barbados everybody was busy painting both the inside and outside of their house and putting up new curtains, making the place look pretty, pretty, pretty just trying to get things looking special for that one day. Moving the furniture around and choosing some nice bright colors for the inside and outside walls. All like now, I would have paint in my hair, on my hands, on my skin and be trying to use the turpentine to wipe it off but just ending up with my skin looking dry and ashy and smelling of turpentine. Boy I do so much painting as a yout helping my father that I was a painting pro before I reach 12.

Verandas and outside walls being painted in bright colors as everyone tries to out do their neighbor in the painting arena. If one man gone yellow another one gone blue or green with brown trim or cream with aqua marine trim or something so. Every color under the sun and everybody turn superstar painter like dem middle name is Picasso.

Santa Clause, do you ever come to the ghetto (ghettoe-oo!)
Santa Clause, do you ever wonder why we suffer so
Santa Clause, When will you come to the ghetto (ghettoe-oo!)
Santa Clause, we would love to see how those reindeers go.
We aint gonna fuss,
We aint gonna fight,
But where are the presents that you brought for us.

The curtains made from fabric that you bought down by Swan Street or Kirpilani or from Miss Ram or that you 'truss' from the "coolie man" in the Suzuki van (that rhymes) who would then have hell to get certain folks to pay. When January came, anytime there was a knock on the door or window you would see certain houses get real real quiet instantaneously and their inhabitants peeping from behind the said same curtains they "truss" to see if it was the coolie man coming for his money.

Sorry boss, all the money dash way on Christmas and they cant afford to pay even a little installment. So Coolie man standing up in the hot sun with the van motor running, looking screw screw and every passerby he asking 'wait you see mistress so n so dat live hayso? You know wha part she gone?" And everybody just responding in the negative cause them know too well that Miss so n so hiding behind the curtains but they wont say so cause well when is them turn to truss from the coolie man they going do the said same thing. So poor coolie man can only stand and knock and get agitated and then go along about his business and check back the next week when the whole scenario played out one more time.

But don't feel too bad for him ya kno! Yes boy fa now they had the coolie man fooled but in the long run they still paid him and he still made his nice lil profit so that by next year no more Suzuki van but he had a little small store in Swan Street all bought and paid for from those little ends of cloth he had sold that Christmas. Cause you could only run from the coolie man so long before ya had to pay him because people would get 'fraid that he put the steel donkey pun them doah!

And lets not talk about the curtain fabric. All sort of designs, all sort of bright pretty pretty cloth which the women would sit with at night in the weeks before Christmas and slowly turn into curtains for the windows and doors. They either worked by hand, with a needle and thimble, getting the youngsters with sharper eyesight to thread the needle as the night got darker or using one of those old time clunky heavy duty Springer sewing machines. Is serious iron them things made out of boy! Solid solid solid and well made to last a lifetime.

Of course in making the curtain they had to match the colors of the house or sometimes the house colors would be chosen after the curtain colors. I aint sure which one led and which followed but you couldn't have a new paint job without new matching curtains cause that would look like ya aint got no style or no money and no one wanted anyone to believe either one of those.

Even if the curtains were finished a week or two before Christmas you would wait till Christmas eve or a day or two before Christmas to get up on the chair and put them up. So Christmas eve all you would hear is the rapping of hammers hitting nail heads, pounding out a distinctive Christmas melody as those new curtains went up at every house. It was a Christmas tradition cause those curtains had to look bright and new for the Christmas morning.

(baron version)
Mumma mumma
Would you like to join your sonnie
I am over here happy in this cold cold country
Darling for this Christmas
I hope everything is happy
come and join the chorus cause we will be having a party

Meanwhile the fruit for the Great Cake was steeping in rum, brandy, and wine since long time gone in September or even before that. Cherries, Raisins, Currents, mixed peel, that you had to help grind up in one of those old fashion hand mixers with the handle that you turned, all seeping up the alcohol. I tell ya, If ya eat two pieces of that cake when it dun, ya best not be driving anywhere lest the policeman ketch ya..............Matter a fact ya eat two pieces of that cake ya gine sleep cause that thing potent after all the fruit absorb all that liquor.

Dem church sisters may not touch a drop of alcohol but give them pieca great cake and I guarantee that their blood alcohol level on par with the fella that been hitting the bottle up by the corner rum shop since morning. This cake serious ya know! If it was North America a yout would have to show ID to get pieca cake.

And that cake taste real nice. Almost as nice as the ham when you cut off three slice and eat wid two sodabix or put it in a fresh salt bread and add a lil pepper sauce. Something bout a Christmas hamcutter that just taste better than any other sandwich in the world back then.

Everything nice, nice and in abundance. Nice n Nuff!

Sing we Noel, Calypso Noel
Sing we Noel, sing sing sing sing
Sing we Noel, calypso Noel
sing we Noel sing

A few days before Christmas my mom would give me a whole heap of green peas to shell. See me sitting at the dining room table feet dangling, bag of peas bigger than young Jdid. On one side two big bags full of pea husks, worms and and the occasional pea chink, the discards from the process and on the other side about a half a tray of fresh green peas. It would take a good hour or two to finish all that shelling even when I wasn't taking regular breaks to play with the big fat cream colored or green worms that came out of some of the pea shells. By the time I was finished the job after my mother had warned me about 6 times not to eat my handiwork my hands would smell of peas and chinks and my finger nails would be all green but there was enough peas in the tray to make our Christmas peas and rice dish cause Christmas in Barbados just wasn't Christmas without rice and peas using fresh green peas.

Yea true you could go down Cheapside market and get a few pints of already shelled green peas but it was so much cheaper to just get me to do all the hard work especially since we had two pea trees in the back yard.

Church bells ring a ling
Angels sing a ling
Happy Birthday Jesus
Snowflakes ding a ling
Sleighbells jing a ling
Happy Birthday Jesus
All year long we wait
just to celebrate this Christmas morn

Anyway about a day or two before Christmas suddenly ya nostrils perk up like when the dog smell his dinner on the way. I talking bout them pot starvers (mongrels) we used to own dat was real dogs not these poor great North American pretenders that cant even chew two chicken bones without getting sick. Is Kibbles and Bits fa them if ya please! No leftovers! Wha up ta last week I was telling the wife dat back when I was growing up we din need no recycling green bin for leftovers, we had a natural recycling device. He did name Rover or Spot or Blackie or Brownie or sometimes he was just de Dog. But nowadays dogs get posh and only eating brand name, store bought food. What a ting! Chupse!

Anyway I digress. Selector bring back some music to set the mood.

I've got that old feeling
that seems to fill the air
Its Christmas in my Caribbean land
and though there's no snow or sleigh bells to be heard
this feelings oh so grand!
now soon the bells will be ringing
choirs singing in good cheer
and old forgotten friends are brought to mind
oh tell me of this feeling
why cant this Christmas feeling exist amongst all people through the year (oh yea!)

I going wake up real merry
bake me jug and me turkey........

Not much Christmas lights when I was growing up. Too expensive to buy plus electricity was also expensive. Just one or two houses did the big light extravaganza that we have today. Instead to make the place look presentable ya would sweep up the front yard after ya finish paint, dig up the grass (none of that lawn business) maybe put down some marl or small stone out front and combined with the poinsettia and the snow on the mountain flowers blooming the place would still be looking real colorful still.

Now as I was saying before I digressed about two nights before Christmas your nostrils would light up from the scents wafting in over the breeze. It started the first night with sweet bread, Great cake and pudding and continued into the second night with the meats; delicious ham, succulent pork, turkey, chicken with the gizzards as stuffing. Heavenly scents! Everyone in the neighborhood baking at the same time and had started a day or two before Christmas because the ovens are small and ya baking enough to feed two armies so it took some time to get the job done.

Why we baking so much? You play you aint know that when Christmas day and bank holiday come round people gine be visiting and you have to have food to serve them. How it gine look bright Christmas somebody stop by and you cant even offer them two slices of sweet bread or pudding or if they is a good friend a slice of great cake. And all ya hearing;

So Santa Clause is in town
He comes but once a year
So ya vex because he came around
To visit me my dear

But Maizie in all in this heat
Wine up under the Christmas tree
Maizie I am vex because
ya making movements wid Santa clause

Maizie where is the Reindeer
Maizie I aint see no sleigh
If he have no reindeer no sleigh?
He came on BWIA

And of course as a child you don't want regular dinner those days when you start smelling those scents because you're hoping for a first slice of cake or meat that night and you staying up late dreaming of hot sweet bread. You eyes light up when the first sweet bread or piece of meat emerged from the oven and you might try to sneak off a lil taste when your mother wasn't looking but you had to be careful that she aint catch you and pelt some liks in your backside cause you know full well that the food is for Christmas and afterwards and the baking being done is as much for the guests as for the family.

Ah yes dreams of sweet bread and great cake washed down with a cold soft drink from the 2 or 3 cases that got bought from the drinks truck when it was up the street earlier that week by the village shop. A few weeks before ya had to go out in the yard, collect up all the empty drinks bottles to make sure you had a full case. Then wash out all the insects and cobwebs from those bottles cause you couldn't go and give the drinks man no nasty bottles ya kno! It wun look propa!

Then you had to make sure you knew what day the drinks trucks came to the village shop. The Banks truck came on Tuesday and the Ju-C truck Thursday so all Tuesday and Thursday ya trying ta keep a look out for the truck or if ya smart and ya on good terms with the shopkeeper (Meaning ya aint owe him no money) ya tell the shopkeeper ta give ya a call when the truck reach. Tiger Malt and Plus, Sprite, Ju-C, Bim and Frutee in all sorts of flavors from Red (Kola Champagne) to Yellow (Pineapple) and Banana and even Sorrel Flavored although the sorrel flavored ones aint taste as sweet as the real thing. You would tell the drinks man to mek sure he doan gi ya nuh stale drinks either cause if you open a drink and it flat ya gine be real vex. But those drinks had to last into January so you couldn't start drinking too early although if nobody looking you might sneak way one and even sneak a lil Falurnum in the drink to spice it up. :-)

But ya din have ta do dat too often cause first ya frighten ya get ketch and secondly ya had sorrel.

Another task for me as a youngster was to get the fresh sorrel and cut off the fruit (is fruit or is leaves?) from the seed so that it could be dried and prepared into that delicious Christmas drink. Another tedious task where the discarded portions, the big seed in the sorrel fruit, were more than the actual usable pieces, the petals which were steeped in hot water to prepare the delicious potion, and this time there were no fun worms to play with like with the peas. But the ends justified the means because the sorrel drink with a stick of clove in it was the most refreshing thing Christmas offered me as a youngster (except for the mix up sweet drink/beer/falurnum concoction that my dad did every Christmas which would knock me out for hours after Christmas dinner).

Drink a rum an a punch a crema
Drink a rum
Is Christmas morning
Drink a rum and a punch a crema
mama drink if ya drinkin

Christmas eve night everything in full gear. The cakes mostly done bake unless ya run outta gas and you weren't smart enuff to have a spare bottle in the house. I mean you know is nuff nuff baking to do so ya shoulda been prepared. Don't blame me looka try and run down by the gas station and buy a new bottle...if all aint sell out yet.

Its all the scent of meat baking that you sniffing in the air. And the sky bright with stars and outside chilly, by West Indian standards, but you still pushing ya nose through the jalousie (jealousie) window or sitting down on the step with the rest of kids indulging the sense of smell and being overcome by that feeling of Christmas. "boy you Mrs Browne like she baking a nice peica pork cross deyso." "You smell that ham that Miss Clarke baking? you that thing smell so good it got my mout watering real bad then!" "Ha ha, you smell dat? Wuhloss somebody sweet breads like dem burning." "Chupse dat cud only be Mavis wun cause you know she cann cook, wha even she husband say so."

The air smelling sweet, the stars looking brighter, the air just feeling sort of tingly on ya body. You can taste the excitement or is that smell it.

You cant wait for the Christmas morning.

One Christmas eve casually I was walking down the street
One Christmas eve casually I was walking down the street
I was attracted by the voice of a lil boy
as he strolled along the street no shoes on his feet
as he walked he continued to repeat

Listen Mama I want you to tell Santa Clause
To bring a trumpet and a concertina for me
I'm so lonely and have no children close by me
ma you don't kno how happy your son would be


Merry Christmas everyone.

Tiger again

But, you know, the guy was clean as a bleached sink. And now, this is just more irrefutable proof that, come on, nobody is.

From Gawker.com

OK this is the last last last Tiger Woods post.

Following, the whole situation (and I must say dude was definitely jumping around and humping around) I wont get caught up in too much tawdry details, actually none if I can help it, but I do notice one thing in the reporting that disturbs me and no it has nothing to do with race.

The above quote from Gawker.com actually encapsulates the whole issue. Tiger may be the last straw that ruined it for good guys. The added frenzy churned up by the media here is because Tiger's image was squeaky clean , he had a last boyscout image, he was a good guy. Well good guys not only finish last in this era but they are being hunted to extinction. They have to deal with everyone else saying its all a facade and many patiently and not so patiently waiting to see if they will fall and become just as sullied as everyone else.

Remember when having a good rep was a good thing. When ya mudda used to tell ya to be a gentleman and behave properly and have manners and treat women wid respect and show some broughtupsy and be well behaved? Well that's not the age we live in anymore. No one believes that anyone can be good or can appear too good. Its got to be a fraud, its got to be made up. Maybe he/she is a money launderer or beats their spouse in the privacy of their home or they are a pervert or have some closet drinking problem or have got some sort of hideous skeleton cause everyone all have flaws right?

That's true. We all do have flaws but that's about perfection rather than being good. There is no such thing as the perfect man/woman but good can happen. I mean it can right? Isn't it possible for there to still be good guys and girls? I think the media and society at large don't believe its possible and they took an extra pleasure from the Tiger fall to say see no one, absolutely no one in this whole earth is good at all. It was all PR, it always is is their claim cause we're all dirty, rotten to the core.

Its a very cynical, skeptical, jdid way to look at society.

I'm not really happy about that angle that they seem to be subconsciously pressing into us. Beware if it looks good its probably bad in the core is the general nudge they seem to be sending. And I don't actually believe that. I actually believe there are a few, very rare but a few folks who are actually as good as they seem. They may not be in public office or celebs, or rich but those people do exist. And their good name should not be sullied just cause some PR construct like Tiger came tumbling down.

That's all I gots to say.

Year of the outside woman

Some random thoughts.

I'm not condoning or excusing Tiger's behavior here but at the same time I just wanted to point out that as celebrity scandals go this one is relatively tame. There are no out of wedlock tiger cubs running around (at least not up to the time I wrote this), Tiger ain't beat nobody like Chris Brown, he ain't get accused of assault like Kobe, he ain't had no drugs or alcohol or shoot himself or somebody else with a gun and he ain't abuse or been accused of abusing somebody lil chile like MJ or doing anything perverted like R.Kelly and he wasn't in his office doing the do like Bill Clinton.

Yes this doesn't excuse him for his transgressions but still it does put it in perspective. I mean I think the big shock is that many had Tiger up on a pedestal as this role model, perfect gentleman, athlete and are surprised that he did what he did but so what. The way I see it is Tiger is just a reflection of society. I don't have figures but Tiger is no exception in that I think there are a fair number of married cats out there doing what he did. Not that I have numbers but I just think and y'all know that you probably know at least one cat who is cheating right now or was and got caught so don't pretend. It might not be at epidemic levels but its not exactly a real out of the ordinary happenstance either.

I mean even Rev. Jesse Jackson had his own little scandal involving a woman and he's supposed to be a man of the cloth so why lash at the Tiger.

Now here's where I get into my year of the outside woman thing. Jason Whitlock over at Fox news been saying for a while that the outside woman (well he uses another term) is the sportsperson of the year. Seems like real nuff sports related people got caught out there this year doing something while not illegal obviously immoral.

Just be thankful that Tiger didn't go out like Steve McNair whose outside woman killed him for no apparent reason this summer. And I believe the outside woman thing went beyond the world of sports. Seems like just lots of dudes got messed up by this type of behavior this year so Tiger is no exception. When will they learn I guess is the question but maybe they wont.

Look society may look differently on Tiger in light of recent events and he may pay out of his pocket by losing some endorsements etc and he may lose some respect in the short term but let him start winning tournaments as he usually does and we'll start to forget or ignore this behaviour. It'll be back to so what he's a sportsman who cares what he does in his off time if its not illegal. I mean look at the best known philanderer out there, Bill Clinton, has he lost any money from the Lewinski incident? Nope, dude still commands triple digits to give a speech and y'all know if he could have run again in 2008 he would have won. Yes we make our little jokes behind his back about his conquests but you know when he's at that podium speaking we're all rapt, listening respectfully to what he's saying.

All that said I also want to say too that everyone's getting involved in the man personal life and yes he is a celebrity but yo we don't know what was going on between him and the wife at home? They marry off real quick and the media will willingly say they didn't know Tiger and his wife they have also been so guarded with what they released and what they let us know. So we're all making assumptions. Stop that nuh! We don't know what was going on in the marriage behind the scenes, all we saw was a exquisitely sculptured facade that they put on for us. We know nothing about the real story and we wont get to hear the real story either. So just ease off the man let im give the gal money to stay (I cant even say I think that is stupid now after I say what i just say) and hope the story gives way to a more positive one in the holiday season.

And like I say to meself. the man legally change he name to Tiger. Wha wunnah expect. Tigers like to hunt.

By the way I hope nobody dont read this and think I easing Tiger I just trying to say put it in context alright.