Nope its not a fake. Thought I'd share my news with all you guys here in blogworld. Yep that's right the misses is pregnant and we are expecting a little one ...Specifically that little one in the picture over there come February.
(channeling Kramer) Whoo hoo my boys can swim!
But seriously though if you guys see me on Maury come March you know what that means. The chile aint mine! Lol, I will plead the defense that the ultrasound don't look nothing like me. Look at that picture. That baby head too big! (And I don't want to hear I cant make no sport of the chile, if he/she want to be part of this family he/she better get used to being made fun of. My motto is the earlier I start making fun of him/her the earlier he/she will be accustomed to it.)
I know y'all laughing at my ultrasound defense but I cant claim credit for it. I watched a Maury Povich episode a few years back where a guy used this exact defense as to why he thought the child wasn't his. He came on the show big and bold and said 'this child definitely cant be mine cause the ultra-sound aint resemble me.' Imagine that! Still I may have to use that defense lol.
But yep boy I still remember the day I find out about this baby thing a few months back. Those home pregnancy tests and those damn pink stripes! They let a brother down man lol. I knew I always hated that color.
The above ultrasound was taken around the 3 month mark. You can actually see a fair bit of definition of the baby; lips, arms etc. From that picture, the chile head look real big though must take after my inlaws cause I aint got no big head nor no big headed family. Either that or the wife been cheating on me with Stewie from the Family guy.
But would you believe this, when I went with the wife as she got this ultrasound taken the baby chupse at me!
Yes I aint making it up! The ultrasound lady was showing us the pictures and pointing out arms and head and the rest of the body and the baby lips just puff together just so and let out a big long pouty thing look like a chupse. Well at least we know is a true West Indian baby!
But I did blue vex boy. Imagine me big hardback man, father to be, and a mere embryo dissing de I. What! That is the ultimate disrespect. The chile dissing me before he/she even get into this earth. Start early nuh? When they say that this next generation have no respect at all they aren't lying!
And what get me vexer is see how the mother lay down there and watch the chile getting on so to me and just laughing. Boy it look like I going have to be the disciplinarian and the strict one here cause look how she encouraging bad behavior already. She let the chile get in she belly and chupse up it mouth at the father so. Well well well! Looka muh crosses!
Well boy/girl let me tell you from early, I'm going put some punishment away on credit for you for that chupse. Uh huh, uh huh. Oh ya feel ya bad cause ya hiding in the womb. Well let me teach you this bajan proverb from early 'day duz run till night ketch it'. Boy/girl ya gots to come out sometime and when ya do I will be waiting.
I know y'all over there ready to call children services on me already and saying I cant believe Jdid threatening an embryo. He like he is some sorta big bully or ogre or something threatening a poor defenseless embryo not even born yet. Cuhdear! But see me just cause he/she is an embryo in the womb don't mean I'm going to let him/her get away with this sort of behavior. Yall didn't see him taunting and chupsing at me man. Yall don't know!
Ya have to start from early if not they get out of hand quick quick and next thing ya know I'm on Maury talking about I cant control my 8 year old and I frighten that them beat me and you see the chile there cussing me and hitting me. Naa star nuttin a gwan so! I tekkin initiative from early.
I going to have to be strict. I dont believe in all this beating thing an liks thing but I plan on making sure the chile know which one of we is boss. So he/she chupsing now alright then. Chupse while ya can now cause when ya get here I gine show ya a thing or two. :-)
Anyway so now I got a embryo dissing me and I also have to put up with a pregnant woman. Women at the best of times are not well understood by me but now this one pregnant so it even worse. Confusion, bodderation, misery. That describes what the woman putting me through all now. Everything that happens she blaming on the baby. Is like she got a built in excuse for everything now and trying to run my blood to water. Well if pregnancy to blame for everything that she doing she must have been pregnant for the last five years or so cause I don't see no change in her behavior. Oh and apparently she would hate if I named the child after me. Boy I don't know how much longer I can deal with this thing, I might not last til February. Come December ya might hear Jdid run way and back in Bim or something so if this thing continue so.
Before anyone asks me how I feel about the whole baby thing I'll say I'm not as excited as most people expect me to be but I think that's just my way. I'm just not a terribly excitable person. Yes, I realize the magnitude of this event, Its a big big big thing and maybe there is something wrong with me but I'm cool about things. Jump for joy excited no, but thinking about how things will be and all the stuff that the child needs to be taught and the like. Maybe I'm dwelling on the scary things so I cant be as excited as everyone expects who knows. Just hoping and praying that the baby is delivered safely and arrives without any illnesses or defects. So before someone pisses me off like one friend who somehow jumped to a conclusion that I hated children, or didn't want a baby because I simply said I wasn't excited let me just say I'm looking forward to the whole experience. Excited no, looking forward yes. Got it!