Tuesday, October 11, 2005

cellphones

Image hosted by Photobucket.comNowadays everybody and their momma has a cellphone.

And no I'm not here to debate whether that is a good or bad thing although I'll probably mention stuff like connectivity and reminisce on the days back when we had phone booths. (What's Clarke Kent supposed to do now?)

Actually why not let me discuss cellphones for a bit. The good thing about cellphones is the way they keep us connected. Honey I'll be home late, umm hello CAA my car broke down on the 401, Boss man de road dem block up wid traffic ta rathid, I man naa reach work till quarter past 10, mek dat 1030 cause I ave fe stop at Tim 'orton.

Things like that are good reasons why this improvement in technology is a good thing although when you think of it none of the reasons listed above are that life threatening or critical although you could make an exception for the car break down thing. One could always wait till one reached home or work to give an excuse instead of filling the air with all these extra invisible radio wave, sonic rays, infrared beams and the like. Still its good to be connected and to have that comfort with knowing that in an unpleasant situation you have a way to get help. Of course Murphy's law says the one time you do need to make that all important call you'll probably get a message saying no signal or poor reception. A so it go!

And speaking of poor well what's someone who cant afford a cellphone (as well as superheroes) supposed to do now? Phone booths are now all but non-existent. Back in the day a phone booth may not have been on every corner but it was pretty close and gave phone access to anyone with a quarter. Not everyone can afford a cellphone now so that's another divide for the haves and have nots. What like poor folks don't have emergencies? Maybe we need cellphone booths. Hmmmmm.

And think about how crazy its gotten with cellphones over the years as the electronics and telecom companies push their latest inventions at us making us believe we need to buy a new phone everytime they make even the slightest advance in the field. "See the older model was 20 grams but this new one is only 19.5, cant you feel the big difference?"
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Yea smaller was better as the giant brick like weapons of the 80s just weren't very comfortable to move around with. But isn't there a limit to how small you really want to go? What's with the devices made for Liliputians these days? Easier to lose so that you need to replace them more frequently I guess. I swear some of the phones are so small that you need a pin or pencil to actually dial a number.

And what's with all the add on features? We have cellphones with cameras, cellphones with radio, cellphone with 1000 ring tones so you can tell exactly who's calling, even video phones. Do we really need any of this? I mean am I really losing out on quality of life because I cant pull out my cell camera and live out my Spike Lee fantasy as I walk down the street. Must every small incident be captured on video for memory? What happened to seeing it with your own eye and re-telling the tale?

Seriously we have so many cellphone add-ons soon we may even have cellphones that will talk to you.

ring ring:
me: 'yo hol on while I answer this rude bwoy. Yes star a who this?
phone: chupse! wha ya mean who dis is? You aint have no manners or what? You mother never teach you bout good morning or hello? chupse! Is de phone man.
me: A wha ya want phone, I tell ya stop harassing de I. Me a busy man ya kno!
phone: But wait. ya mean I tek my time ta hail you up and you getting on so? Well if you wanta be dat sorta way I aint calling you no more. Matter a fact ya see me, doan touch me and expect me ta dial nuh dial nuh more. I aint connecting you wid a fella! all the time you got me calling you pretending dat yu got friends an important business an mekkin you look like a big shot and you getting on so now. Man I dun wid you cause ya aint got nuh sorta manners nor respect fa me. You got me real vex ya kno! You aint know how lucky you is den cause if I had hands I would box ya in ya ears ya kno. You barely lucky dat I is a hands free set!

Imagine that getting backchat from the phone? I'm telling you that's not far away in the future.

And why is it that the more connected we get the more means we use for screening and avoiding people? If you want to avoid folks calling you well you can pay some extra money for caller ID or special rings for individual callers or here's a novel idea turn off the phone, don't carry it everywhere or just don't get a cellphone and you can be inaccessible as much as you like. Oh well.

Wont even talk about inappropriate conversations in public places or phones going off in places where they should be silent as I know everyone who reads this has had that opportunity to see this first hand at least once.

Still like I said this wasn't a blog to diss cellphones. They have their place and I must admit despite all the drawbacks (lets not even talk about the possibility of cancer and all that) that I sort of like them. They are not by any means a necessity for me but I just think its cool how their proliferation means that I can walk down the street and talk out loud to myself without getting weird stares anymore.

Its true! Think about it. Cellphones have made once deviant behavior acceptable or at least given it the appearance of acceptability. I mean honestly when you were walking down the street and someone appeared to be talking to themselves back in the day you were likely to cross to the other sidewalk to avoid them. You would think to yourself 'he head like um off today' or 'I wonder which mental institute he get way from' or as my mother would say when she saw someone talking to themselves 'is de drugs dat got dem young people walking bout half foolishy foolishy.'

But today do you even give someone who appears to be talking to themself on the street a second glance? Nope. You assume that they are on a cellphone so even if you don't see the physical device chances are they have a Bluetooth headset or some other handsfree device plugged into their ear that you cant discover on first glance.

So as a man that duz talk to himself real nuff. I mean have full blown epic conversations, I think cellphones are one of the greatest inventions known to man. No longer am I an outcast (well at least not on the talking to myself thing). Finally I fit in.

And if someone was to ever come up to me and ask who I'm talking to, I can just pretend that my hands free device is really really small and wireless. However I've learned they just don't appreciate the humor when I tell them about my special plan where you get unlimited minutes to split personalities for free.

24 comments:

Angry Dog said...

LOL! My yute, I definately agree with you about the cellphone mania ting...it's insane! But the thing I despise most is the people who drive and talk on their cellphones on busy highways!

Scratchie said...

I have to stop reading your posts in muh office. Everybody looking at mi like I'm crazy. Can't stop the laughing.

4panist said...

unlimited minutes to split personalities? that line was hylyrius! its true though, people talking to themselves means nothing now. course I think there is such thing as being too connected...can't a sister go a few hours without being called on one phone or another? sometimes I leave my phone at home on purpose on weekend. want to talk to me? leave me a message and I'll call you back when I'm not relaxing!

Sunshine said...

LOL Jdid- Love the photo-but that image is true. You see the ear phones sticking out of people. Soon we will start to look like space humanoids with all the gidgets and gadgets and attachments attached to our body parts. IT's tooo much already . Good post.

Mr. Righteous said...

Love the Hands free with the rubber band LOL.. as for the camera phones I guess this is the end of story telling.. remember how granny never need anything to conjour up images of experiences she live in her hay days, well that gift of garb is slowly passing. Thanks to men like you and other bloggers for keeping it alive

Amadeo said...

In my youth I would not have thought I'd be running around with my phone in my pocket...blows my mind when don't take it for granted.

notyouraverage.... said...

that was a great post! so right on. you got me reminiscing, i totally forgot about actual phone booths! with the bi-fold door, you had to wiggle open and try to squeeze in, etc. lol! it's true though, if you don't have a cell, or the battery dies, you can be hardpressed to find a phone, if you're not inside a mall!

notyouraverage.... said...

and it is such a money grab - two years and your phone doesn't work anymore, or the battery dies completely and they don't make it anymore, so you have to upgrade to another phone/plan and pay out more or extend your contract!

Count said...

Cell phones are certainly a great invention. Some people just go overboard with it's usage now they got all this extra shit on em. I just need me one to dial out and receive calls.

Abeni said...

They say that here people buy more phone cards than they do rice and sugar.I think it is close to being true

ThandieLand said...

waaaaaaaaa! that first picture funny no rass. He mental or wha Jdid?

Dr. D. said...

Like I seh nuff time before...dem do have dem use. But some people seem to be defined by cell. I'm a fossil....make and receive calls, no voice mail, no text messaging! I nuh change ring tone...one will do. Have a good digicam already so no need for one on a cell.

Did I ever mention 'bout the patient I was examining one Saturday morning...when I used to do General Practice? Came to doctor because she having a discharge....down below...

I take my history, then ask her to go up on the couch for the examination. In the middle of the vaginal examination, her phone rings....and to my surprise...she casually takes the phone outta she handbag to rass! Every time I think about it I still can't believe it...I mean, a strange man has two fingers inside your most intimate body orifice and you find it an appropriate time to answer your cell? I doh know...And is not lie me telling!

Shelia said...

lol...I look at cellphones a different way now...thanks to you and your personalities...but you know I sometimes wonder if certain people are really ALWAYS on the phone or if they are fronting...now I know...they are probably fronting.

BajanQueen said...

LOL!! I love this one! That picture is soooo damn funny of the rubber band holding the cell phone!!

You are too much.

~Smooches~

Brotha Buck said...

I hate to admit, my brother sent me that photo in an email a couple years ago. I found myself doing the same thing. I had an important business call to make on my way to work. I needed my hands to write in addition to driving (with a stick). So I used that same technique. And I looked just as foolish.

Inside Man said...

My father and I are the last two people on Earth who don't have cellphones. I had one for a short time but couldn't take all the phone calls. Where you at? What you doing? Get me something from the store? NO! If I'm not talking to you in the house I don't have no to rap. I need the little bit of freedom that I have.

Inside Man said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
obifromsouthlondon said...

go spike lee! go spike lee! lol

I once worked on project to enable cell phone tracking using cellular base stations and satelites. tested the final software tracking a friend's phone. boy i could follow his movements around the city. freaky!! when that hits critical mass then man cant lie no more :)

princessdominique said...

You are too funny. I've seen that photo before, it's still hilarious!

brooklyn babe said...

Dont even get me started.... man 8 year olds even have cell phone now

GC (God's Child) said...

LOVE the visual.
What I hate is when people block their number, call you, don't leave a message and expect you to call them back.

Luke Cage said...

The cellphone is such a convenience, but it has taken on a whole new life of it's own now man. Between ring tones, styles, minutes (people kill me about preserving those minutes man) and not turning them off when they should in certain places, it's a bane to our existence as well as being a new necessity. My cellphone is through my job, but if they didn't provide one for me, truthfully speaking. I don't know if I'd own one...

Stunner said...

Cellular phones have really come a long way. I remember thoses bricks. Only the rich an famous coud strain themselves with them.
Now, everybody have a cell. And the are not just cellphones used to make or receive a call. But, cameras, video cameras, organaizers, radios, mp3 players, there is picture and video messaging, blue tooth an the list continues.
I'm still surprised that phone boothes are still on the roadside!

LivingSingle said...

I think that there should be a law enforced that people who get one must sign a contract stating the following:
1. You can only use the cell phone in waiting rooms only in emergency situations. No one in that waiting room wants to hear your conversation about how you're spending your child support money to pay for your car note (this actually happened)
2. You can only use the cell phone while driving ONLY if it won't hinder your driving performance.
3. When entering the church building or an institution of learning, please switch the ringer over to vibrate.
4. When in line at the store, please wrap up your conversation BEFORE you get to the cashier.