Friday, June 26, 2009

never can say goodbye


Do you remember the time when Michael was a pop icon rather than tabloid fodder?

At the end he was more bogeyman than boogie-man, more monster than hero, more goat than G.O.A.T, more caricature than role model but there was a time when Michael apparently was a cool inspiration to black folks and loved by everyone worldwide. But that was a while back wasn't it?

My wife reminded me this morning that when the Thriller album came out Michael made it cool to be black in North America. He made black music commercially viable and gave it MTV appeal. I also hold him personally responsible for the horror that was the jeri curl era but in some parts of the world Michael Jackson was the first black person that anyone had ever seen ever. You see those suburban white kids imitating today's rappers? Well the original cross-over appeal artist was Michael, white glove and all. Everyone loved Michael (even Prince fans).

Without Michael there would be no Puffy, no Jay Z, no Chris Brownes, no Ushers.

And man could he dance!

Now Michael is known as much for his antics as for his music. Its all very plain to see in the nickname he was given "Wacko Jacko". For every Beat it, there is a but the dude had a zoo at Neverland story, for every Black or White there is a he walked around in a SARs mask for years rebuttal and lets not even go into the Michael and Bubbles and Michael and little children stories or the dangling small child off balcony acts, the bankruptcy rumours and the crazy marriages etc.

Dude became one of those stories you shook your head at. A walking tragedy, someone to be pitied. Poor Michael, all that talent, all that fame, still crazy as ass. What happened to that cat? Some blamed his dad, some said he never grew up, some said he was taken advantage of or was just missing some screws up top. Who knows!

What I can say is that a lot of the boo hoo hoo I miss him stories that will circulate in the coming days are a bunch of crap and highly hypocritical and come from the people who two days ago were more than likely dissing or laughing at ol boy.

Come on now, dude had become a caricature. Forget the don't speak ill of the dead credo and admit it. You know it, I know it. In fact when last did you make a Michael duz trouble lil children crack or passed around a Michael now looks like a white woman email or dissed his ever changing nose? Exactly! This is what Michael had become of late so don't try to cover it up.

It is what it is. But it just goes to show you that opinions and life can change in a matter of minutes. The same ones dissing him yesterday are now the ones showering him with praise today. Guess you cant get all your props til you're gone.

He was great, his recording legacy may stand the test of time, he was definitely a trailblazer, one of the greatest dancers and entertainers and he was the King of Pop, but like many prodigies and icons over the years Michael got old and somewhat irrelevant music wise and his eccentricities became his hallmark later in life. (Apparently the lucky ones die young. Imagine if Tupac and Biggie or Bob Marley had lived past their primes?)

Michael went from the King of Pop to King of Weird. He's gone now and some will feel guilty and realize dude regardless of his eccentricities was one of a kind and we will miss him now. But who will be remembered: 1982 Michael, cocky, vibrant, inspirational leaving us all welled up with pride or 2009 Michael peeping out from behind a mask, dodging creditors and crazy rumours, leaving us feeling sorry for him.

Rappers and comedians will have to find a new celebrity for fodder as will we.

Rest in Peace Michael may you be less troubled now than in life.

ps: For anyone interested Smoking Section has a nice DJ Jaycee mix of some the older MJ tunes from the Jackson five era available for free download here.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

kate - jon + 8

I did never even hear bout these Jon & Kate people til they interview them about Octo-mom a few months back and now they all over the news cause Jon and Kate divorcing or separating or something so.

But let me tell you something. I never watch the show but is how this get a reality show when the people cant even throw one setta liks in the children? You could imagine you or mi mudda raising 8 a we and nuh liks sharing? Wha dat would to quote the singer man be "far from reality'.

And apparently Kate finally lash one a few weeks back an the tabloids was all over she. One lil lash and dem vex. So so far from my reality cause I know if you and mi mudda had 8 children liks would share from mornin til night and not nuh lil liks too but good ol west indian pick up whatever implement nearest to ya an throw with unerring accuracy at the child who mekkin ya miserable type liks.

But anyways. I wanted to say a few things bout the show and remember I aint watch um but I just find it strange that you wud put your children all over the tv screen from so early. Is like dem pimp out the poor children.

The question though is wha gine happen to the children now. Is it better for them to be raised by a single parent or in an unhappy home? I'd go with the former.

And whichpart Jon gine find Chile support fa 8 pickney! lawd ave mercy boy!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Fall way to nuttin

Well somebody tell muh a few weeks back that one a my old bajan posts "Two Words" was referenced in Wikipedia under some bajan dialect thing. And in the spirit of sharing more bajan words wid wunnah and given my present state of existence I have decided to share the phrase "fall way to nuttin".

The term "fall away to nuttin" in the simplest form means to lose alot of weight. It would be used if you see a drastic weight loss by somebody or maybe in a full sentence like "ya better try an eat before ya fall way to nuttin" where the speaker is trying to convey the thought that not eating will make you lose weight.

And why is this pertinent you ask? Well Jdid had his wisdom teeth removed a few weeks back and was forced onto a liquid diet. Now the people that know me know that I aint exactly robust, big or have nuh weight to lose in the first place. Yet via said liquid diet I lost somewhere north of 12 pounds in the space of one week. And yea you feel alot colder and smaller when that happens. Your body isnt meant to lose weight like that I'm guessing.

Yesterday I was out in the garden wearing a old pants that I retire from active service cause the waist was getting a lil too tight an you shoulda see how the pants fit me yesterday baggy baggy like Hammer Pants den. The things did threaten to expose muh bividees so I had to guh back inside an get a belt before I gi de neighbours a free show.

The liquid and soft food diet thing thought me alot though. For one see me I aint gine mek it as nuh old person cause I man doan dig no soft foods, no mashed potatoes nor no soups (hence the drastic weight loss) so when I get old I doan think I gine last too long once the gums stop wukkin.

Anyway that was about three weeks ago and since then I've been back trying to steadily add more and more foods to my diet. Still not ready for no burgers, steak or curry goat yet but I was getting there.

And then this weekend bram out of the blue while eating lunch I had this new dental issue flare up (which is apparently related to the wisdom teeth removal). Anyway it has again left me in some real serious pain and according to the dentist this marnin back on the liquid diet, unable to eat solid foods yet again. And since I probably gained back at most 3 or 4 of the 12 pounds lost on the last liquid diet Jdid will be steadily fallin way to nuttin this week looking like a "god-horse" cause I eating "nextskin to nuttin". I gine leff dem two last bajan phrases to next time or wunnah could figure that ot wunnahselves.

I gine hayso an drink lunch.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Oh Fly away

Signs and wonders people, signs and wonders.

So big story this week: ta daa, President Obama kill a fly! Big set a video with the president killing a fly online and news people talking about it like it is something really exciting. Its like he is a toddler doing something for the first time. Look look he killed a fly all by himself! Look American public, we may have a little genius on our hands.

Next video will probably be Obama flushes toilet all by himself.

Sigh. And I didn't want to big up the fly story no more cause it was not news in my opinion. Like I was saying is not like the man kill one a dem big West Indian flying cockroach cause ya dun know killing ona dem wid a shoe now that is entertainment cause them things fast, big and igrant and one lash usually dont suffice. Now watching Obama lash a cockroach that would be prime time viewing.

And is not like he use the Mr Miyagi technique and grab the fly with a pair a chopsticks to show off his martial arts skill or it aint like he is the fella from the movie Wanted that shoot the wings off the fly. He aint even slam the fly down on the table cruel like he was killing couple (double) six. Nuh uh, he just slap it with his hand. Where is the fun, where is the drama?

Wunnah want drama wunnah shudda see me as a yout pelting big rocks at chickens in my yard. Now if we had youtube in my day I woulda been a star. And what about the time I was up in northern Ontario and I kill 30 black flies with one slap. Now that is some news right there. I'd like to see Barack do that. Any old poppit can kill one fly but 30 one time boy that duz tek a real improved super dupa eediat.

But like I said wasn't going to chat about this nonsense. But then my favorite group of people get involved. Yep that's right PETA (poppits eediats twits & asses) saying Obama shouldn't have kill the fly, so they sending he a humane fly swatter for next time. The men even claim Obama wasnt thinking before he act. Hello, wunnah see the video? the man clearly thought about killing the fly. He shoo it it come back, he set up for the kill shot, bram! It was premeditated, fly murderation in the first degree. He couldn't get away even if Johnny Cochrane did still alive and was he lawyer. Nuh uh!

But seriously PETA are such a ridiculous fringe group. Do they not see how silly they make themselves look with these comments. A fly? Really? This is the president of the United States , you know hummuch actual human beings that office musse kill over the years and you worried bout a single fly?

Man wunnah PETA people really need de lawd.

Friday, June 12, 2009

G.O.A.T or just goat ?

OK check the link here.

Its a photo of world's fastest man Usain Bolt arriving in Toronto a few days ago at Pearson airport just before his run here yesterday. In case you don't get the t-shirt and think its some crazy Chinese script caption tilt your head to a side and re-read the caption on the t-shirt.

Yes it does say Go F*** your-self.

Well my blog readers know I was all gaga about Bolt last year during the Olympics, got to big up the Caribbean man dem ya kno, so I'm not a hater here but the first thing I thought on seeing this photo was boy am I'm pretty happy I didn't fork out 75 -250 dollars plus to go see this dude run for 10 seconds last night as I had initially planned.

The second thing I thought was well maybe he's still trying to diss the IOC chair from last year for those silly comments at the Olympics and then the third thing was why on earth would he wear such a ridiculous t-shirt in public, arriving in Canada?

I mean I don't take it personally cause I would tell he bout he mudda and keep it stepping but seriously a world class athlete and supposed role model shouldn't be wearing something like this. Its just wrong and it can be construed as dissing your hosts and fans.

Mind you I've come to the conclusion after his silly comments about every young Jamaican having tried weed that for all his talent Mr Bolt is a lil dense; typical blessed with talent and natural ability athlete, possibly not the smartest.

But I wasn't going to take him to task for this cause I thought silly typical kid who knows no better but then I thought to myself one this dude is a "role model" and kids are looking up to him so this is just wrong and two if it was one of the strutting, arrogant American sprinters of recent ilk that we're all so familiar with doing this everybody and their momma would be taking them to task so why not Bolt? Its crass, its lewd, its not proper and I mean it could also be taken the wrong way if he was meeting anyone official at the airport that day as is likely the case.

I ain't saying we need to go back to the days when you arrived at the airport in three piece suit, I'm just saying the message on that shirt isn't fit for public consumption even if it was your common pleb like me wearing it instead of a celeb and Bolt should have shown better judgement or known better.

Yea someone paid you loads of cash to come to the T-dot and you are drawing people to the gate so we can make some money and all that but how about some grace and style and respect son.

Don't forget your financial success is based not just on your talent but also on your likability and marketability. Don't screw it up.

Monday, June 08, 2009

Age Limits

A few weeks back I came home from the cinema and I was steamed. No it wasn't that the movie was crap and I felt it had been a waste of my money it was that I was pissed off at some of the folk in the cinema. And no again it wasn't that I was pissed with their chatting through the movie or anything like that what I was upset with was with the number of parents who were bringing their kids to the movie.

Actually it happened twice. I went to afternoon showings of Wolverine and Terminator and both times there were kids there, accompanied by parents, who had absolutely no right to be in that cinema. I mean there are height requirements for amusement park rides there needs to be height requirement rules for cinemas. Cause let me tell you if your feet cant touch the ground when you sitting in a seat at the cinema then terminator and Wolverine, both violent films are not places for you to be.

I mean it was so bad that when I sat in my seat at Terminator and started seeing these parents with little kids in tow coming in I swore I had the wrong cinema. I had to get up and go outside to make sure the cinema number match my ticket cause I swore I was in the wrong theatre.

And maybe you'll say I'm making a big fuss but it wasn't one of those things where it was borderline. It wasn't like oh they are taking their 10 year olds to these movies which I would have issues with too but still might be classified by some as a borderline matter of judgment. No this was kids clearly under 6 and in one case I swear the child was about three cause he was walking and talking in the same manner that my three year old does.

To me that's just going too far. I mean one parent came into terminator with pickeney in hand and dragging a stroller up the steps behind him. I kid you not.

So yea I was a bit livid about that especially when I think to myself these are the same kids my child will meet in the playground and then when something happens cause them trouble mi chile I will have to go and get lock up. chupse!

Its this simple. Parenting involving sacrifice. If you cant get a babysitter don't drag the kid to these inappropriate movies. Stay home! And I know people will say oh its single moms or its young parents that do this. Nope 95% of the cases I saw in the two movies, and I should mention it was at least 4 or 5 different parent kid combos in each movie, were middle aged looking folks who looked like they should know better as parents.

And what is the cinema's responsibility in all this. I mean the movies are rated but shouldn't there be some sort of screening where you say sorry parent are you some sort of jackass, you cant take your three year old into this violent movie. Yea you guys are minimum wage and dont give a damn I understand that, and movie revenues are down so the cinema is just trying to stay paid but still really you should not allow these parents in with kids to see movies like that. Its just downright irresponsible.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Old to the New

What goes around comes back again.

I remember well enuff! My mudda used to tell me nuff stories bout old time Buhbaydos when I was lil boy. Stories from she school days and from mi granny school days, must be why I like story summuch now looka that, and even though I gettin on in years I duz still remember a ting or two.

Things she tell me as a wide eyed impressionable yout like the foolish drills the school children in the country used to have to do in war time laying down stiff like a jukkin board pun the pasture when nuff planes flying over the island on their way to God knows where.

Stories bout Pinpunshe, wunnah know dat wun? and how the woman put she sick husband in the oven cause the doctor say to mek sure he stay warm. Stories bout how them young fellas swim out to the SS.Cornwallis and liberate cans a corn beef and such that was on the ship when that German U Boat lik it wid one Torpedo to the blasted bottom a Carlisle Bay back in the World war 2!

Yes Iyah, a ol veteran business dat!

How the school children din have shoes and chiggers was in people foot and something in the cuss cuss grass in the bed giving people lice or something so. I cant remember too good now boy and we din deal wid no book was strictly griot businesswunnah understand? Word a mout pass on! Selah! All dem stories so an nuff nuff more that I aint got time to mention, dem good ol stories.

And ya know wha mi mudda tell mi bout too? Wunnah might not believe me but still look she say once upon a time when ya go to the shop ya din used to get no plastic bag and paper bag with big supermarket name mark on in bright letters for the groceries. No Sar! You used to have to tek ya own bag to the people grocery. Actually wasnt no grocery in them days was just lil shops in the village and in the town wid big barrels a briny salt meat and sacks a flour and rice and other staples. But yes you used to have to tek ya own bags. Serious ting mi nuh lie!

So see the women wid their crocus shopping bag, and each woman know which bag is hers too incase um get lost or stolen (which is anudda story that i aint got time fa hay right now too) and it divide up in sections so one section for the flour and the other one for corn meal and a third wun fa the rice grains. Ya have a special tin for the salt meat or the butter and the lard too. No ya din buying no breadfruit and ground provisions at the shop though, that was still coming outta people land and sharing cause people was living good in love and community, sharing eddoe and sweet potato and n**** yam and them sorta things so. Everybody got them own lil kitchen garden too. Yes that is how it used to do. A shilling in flour and half tot a butter and 1/2 pence a corn meal to mek bakes or pap.

And everything compartmentalize and wrap up in one. No plastic to undo and throw way, no seperate bag for the rice and the flour and no double bagging unless ya had a extra old flour bag or crocus bag handy. Ya see where this gine right?

Well boy them tings come back in today cause in Toronto the powers that be ban off all free plastic bags . If you want plastic bags you got to pay an extra 5 cents if ya please from yesterday. Lawd a merci!

And mi say. Well look how everything that is old come back new. Back then wasnt no environment business people tryin to protect. Uh uh, is juss them aint had no better. Then wrap things wid what them had and tek them home an put them in their own containers when they ready.

But then we get industrialized and rubber flood the place. Plastic cheaper than dirt and people double, and even triple bagging groceries instead a walking wid their own shopping bag.

Now all we saying is the dump cant tek it nuh more. Bio-degradable-ness cant work wid dem bag and we children children gine still be dealing wid dem in decades and ting to come. Plastic becomes anthema. Fadda God come fa ya world nuh!

So see how the cycle duz work? One day we pompasseting wid plastic, then next we cussing plastic cruel like is sin and corruption bredren dat.

And that aint the only old thing come back either dat is why I never throw way dem stone wash pants friom the 80s cause any day now them gine be fashionable again.