Post-Election

 "They say signs that the end is near, I wonder can I walk a righteous path holding a beer" - Resurrection by Common

(written on Saturday) It's been a difficult week.

I can't help but to look back to 8 years ago this week when president Obama was first elected. All the hopefulness, all the anticipation of change, all the wishful thinking. And while somehow in the back of my mind that euphoria was tempered with an 'oh crap I know they going to shoot him before he gets into office!' anxiety which thankfully didn't come through I still felt like it was a momentous occasion. Something truly wonderful had happened.

A black president!

Didn't think I'd see that in my lifetime.

Flash forward to this week and if the Obama election took us to euphoric heights, this election has had the opposite effect and plunged us into the depths of worry and despair.

Blagojevich

It always takes a while to get back into the swing of this blogging thing when I take a break. Not sure why but lemma see if I can get back on this blogging horse today.

So I gine start simple.

First off this poppit former governor Blogojevich, the same fella dat did a former governor of Illinois til he get impeach mek sum stupid statement about how he blacker than President Obama.

"I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up."

So wait because you father had a laundromat in the black community that mek you black or because you see the black community growing up that mek you black? Chupse!

This is a man dat was a governor of a big able U.S state ya kno! Ya wud feel he shud be able to put two words together widout sounding like a nincompoop but then again since he leff government he doing reality shows pun tv so I guess that about sums up wha typa clown he really is.

Lets put your blackness to the test Mr Blagovech. We'll show your photo and Mr Obama's to some klan members and see which one riles them up more. How about we put you out on the street of any large city and see who the cab stops for first.

On another note, I read this article this morning that say during the 2008 elections Hillary Clinton's people found out that Bill had a girlfriend at that time. Well well well. What can ya say about Bill. The man does get around. Yet somehow he still maintains his dignity and likeability (wait that is a real word) and still mekkin oodles a money. Tiger boy ya need Bill to show ya dem ropes.

Does begs the question though. Are we holding our politicians to a lower standard than our sportsmen?

No beak spared!

Happy Thanksgiving to my US peoples.

Now I notice that allya have a tradition over there that come Thanksgiving the President duz pardon one sad solitary turkey wid a name like Freedom or Courage or something so, sparing him from becoming someone's dinner.

I was curious about this whole Presidental turkey pardon business so I did a little research and found out that the pardoned turkey duz get send to Disneyland to live out his life. Well actually they used to send the turkey to a farm previously in a place name Frying Pan farm park but that change now. Now cuhdear how wunnah used to do that to the poor turkey sending him to Frying pan park. Ya mean dem din had nuh space in Baking Pot areana? Wha anyway ya look at dat um is cruel an unusual punishment. That is like freeing a man from slavery and sending he to live in Captivity and Punishment lane or Bondage alley or Whipping road. Dat cant be right at all.

Anyways reading up some more I realize that the pardoned turkey does not even live a full year after he get pardoned, musse duz be too fat an die off of a poultry hypertension and diabetes an ting so and I say to myself so what is the point of this pardon? Save the turkey from the pot only to have it die of not even old age but whatever turkey diseases it is that turkeys duz die from when them that big. Waste a time!

So I say unto you Obama has let us down. I aint talking about health care and Afghanistan an, recession and bailouts and them sorta matters, I dealing with an issue close and dear and important to the hearts of the average American: the critical issue of turkey pardons. I mean, the man come in with all this big talk bout change this and change that an yet turkeys still getting pardon. That is completly unacceptable in my book. A total disregard for the average American family I say. How Fox news hasnt picked up on this yet I dont rightly know.

So my fellow countrymen, I believe that there is no need to pardon a turkey and if I am elected President (even doah I aint americun) I will make sure that no turkey is left unmaimed. (I also promise not to give you Universal health care like we enjoy in Canada cause frankly wunnah doan deserve it but that is for anudda day). Yes that is my full Presidental campaign platform...murderation for turkeys come thanksgiving. Not a beak spared!

Cause think about it. We in a big, big recession, poor people ketching hell, stocks down, big crooks steal we retirement funds, jobs gone a begging and some fellas cant even afford corn beef let loan turkey when the day come and you giving turkey a pardon to go run bout Disneyland wid Mickey, Goofy and Donald.

Naa star that cant mek it! That jive (turkey) cannot fly in my book. Kill off the turkey and feed an unfortunate family I say.

And ya know what get to me is that if this was an election year nuh turkey pardoning din happening eitha. Cause Obama would be on the campaign trail saying things like "An let us not forget Sarah, Sarah Parker from Wisconsin, who I met last week on the campaign trail. A single mother of 4 who works two jobs and after paying the the light and water bills cant even afford Thanksgiving dinner for her family." And then he would add a bariffle a chat about a time for change an next thing ya know turkey roasting on an open fire. I lie?

And God forbid that Palin woman had even get into the White house. Pardon which turkey?? Far from pardoning she woulda hunt down, kill wid she bare hands, pluck feathers, stuff and done got the turkey skin out on the table before eitha one a we cud say maverick two times and that would be on a regular weekday furthermore Thanksgiving.

So next year allya vote fa me. Remember the name Jdid. Not a beak spared! Looka somebody get me some campaign buttons nuh.

Nobel

Now doan get me wrong. I still like the Obama fella but I really really scratching mi head ova wha he do to deserve to win a Nobel Peace prize today. Especially considering that dem say the deadline for the submission was sometime in late January or so just two weeks into his actual presidency.

I mean dem start giving Nobel prizes based on potential now like NBA draft pick positions? Cause the man aint really do nuttin in my opinion to win this prize and lewwe not go down that potential path cause doan let me gotta tell wunnah how that work out some years in the NBA wid fellas like Olawakandi, Andrew Bogut and Kwame Browne getting number one picks.

I mean in all fairness Obama is better than Bush and he's trying (even if not really succeeding by my standards anyways) but still wha um is he do to get a Nobel Peace prize? Ya mean to say the other competition was suh weak dat he run way wid um so?

Wait or is wunnah feel that at the Nobel prize presentation ceremony Kanye West gine jump up pun the stage tek the mic from Obama and tell we who shudda really really win this award?

Well boy I aint kno but I hayso trying to figure um out and could only conclude that the Nobel committee was trying to manners President Obama. And yes he is now well manners-ed. Allya might look at me like wha you talkin bout Jdid but let me explain.

I simply tellin wunnah dat dem sneaky Nobel fellas tek a leaf outta Dubya book an this is a preemptive strike. See by giving Obama the Peace prize now he cant guh an start nuh sorta wars nuh time soon. He hands tied. Lock off, tie down, under heavy manners, restricted, manners-ed.

Ya cud juss see Obama standing up by the whiteboard in de Oval office this morning, after receiving the news, wid he to do list chupsing and vex vex vex.

- lets see now hmmm invade Iran and give dem Ayatolla bwoy a good beating. chupse! gotta cross dat out now.

- Yes I, send more troops to Afghanistan to lash dem Tailiban rudebwoy, mek dem guhway! cha, cant even do that.

- Invade North Ko...... nope nope cant even think about that one now

- ah ha! rough up that likkle (insert relevant clot) yout Chavez down in a South America. (Advisor shakes head.) mi ave fi cross dat one deya off too? cha mi cant even rough im up likkle bit?

- Lash anudda fly in a de studio. What! how ya mean PETA would consider that an act of war. Mi ave fi cross dat wun out too?

- Invade Canada and annex Alberta to get some oil.... well naa, well umm , ummm well maybe, naa, well. see mi, mi will leave that fi now. I really dont think anyone would notice if I do it though.

Oh Fly away

Signs and wonders people, signs and wonders.

So big story this week: ta daa, President Obama kill a fly! Big set a video with the president killing a fly online and news people talking about it like it is something really exciting. Its like he is a toddler doing something for the first time. Look look he killed a fly all by himself! Look American public, we may have a little genius on our hands.

Next video will probably be Obama flushes toilet all by himself.

Sigh. And I didn't want to big up the fly story no more cause it was not news in my opinion. Like I was saying is not like the man kill one a dem big West Indian flying cockroach cause ya dun know killing ona dem wid a shoe now that is entertainment cause them things fast, big and igrant and one lash usually dont suffice. Now watching Obama lash a cockroach that would be prime time viewing.

And is not like he use the Mr Miyagi technique and grab the fly with a pair a chopsticks to show off his martial arts skill or it aint like he is the fella from the movie Wanted that shoot the wings off the fly. He aint even slam the fly down on the table cruel like he was killing couple (double) six. Nuh uh, he just slap it with his hand. Where is the fun, where is the drama?

Wunnah want drama wunnah shudda see me as a yout pelting big rocks at chickens in my yard. Now if we had youtube in my day I woulda been a star. And what about the time I was up in northern Ontario and I kill 30 black flies with one slap. Now that is some news right there. I'd like to see Barack do that. Any old poppit can kill one fly but 30 one time boy that duz tek a real improved super dupa eediat.

But like I said wasn't going to chat about this nonsense. But then my favorite group of people get involved. Yep that's right PETA (poppits eediats twits & asses) saying Obama shouldn't have kill the fly, so they sending he a humane fly swatter for next time. The men even claim Obama wasnt thinking before he act. Hello, wunnah see the video? the man clearly thought about killing the fly. He shoo it it come back, he set up for the kill shot, bram! It was premeditated, fly murderation in the first degree. He couldn't get away even if Johnny Cochrane did still alive and was he lawyer. Nuh uh!

But seriously PETA are such a ridiculous fringe group. Do they not see how silly they make themselves look with these comments. A fly? Really? This is the president of the United States , you know hummuch actual human beings that office musse kill over the years and you worried bout a single fly?

Man wunnah PETA people really need de lawd.

Dont get it twisted son

You better recognize!

Compliments Blog-TO via Second Shelf Life.

Eediat!

Ok Aaron McGruder is officially a moron. Love the Boondocks comic (not so much the tv series) but he's an eediat!

On the topic of race and ethnicity, McGruder said that to him, Obama is not black because he is not a descendant of a slave.

"The person who is one of us in the White House is Michelle Obama and her momma," McGruder said.

That dont even make sense man. Explain that to the millions of black people living in Africa. Oh I'm sorry you're ancestors never were sent to the new world as slaves so that invalidates your blackness. What a jackass!

Hail to the Chief

What can I say. I jumped off the Obama bandwagon after the election. Why not? I mean I supported him as the best man for the job and he won but there are two months between winning the election and becoming POTUS (President of the United States) so why not. Its not like anything was happening in those months really and I'm waiting for results when he finally is President.

Plus I get this feeling that many of the Obama supporters think he's going to click his heels three times (his mother was from Kansas after all) and suddenly recession over and war in Gaza over and we find a cure for Cancer, AIDS and the common cold and the world links hands and sings Kumbaya.

And ya know what! They might actually be right!

Didn't expect that did ya?

I'm being facetious mind you but still, no one can say that Obama and his election victory have not been good for the US economy and he's not even been sworn in yet. Unbelievable!

Think about it. Do you realize how much Obama merchandise has been sold in the last couple of months? From comic books (and since it was the only Obama merchandise I'd probably buy I'm mad I didn't get one last Wednesday) to sex toys, I kid you not on that one, and everything in between the visage of Obama has adorned more product than one would possibly believe. Mugs, t-shirts, key chains, trinkets of all descriptions, Obama has been moving some serious product. I mean Reagan and Clinton and those guys were good for a few t-shirts and Halloween masks but damn Obama's image is on everything. Too bad they didn't copyright that and start up a corporation cause if they had that might be the only stock in the stock market that was going up right now.

I mean its pretty incredible and I'd love to see someone release some figures on how much money the Obama image has created for the US economy in the past few months.

Then you have this inauguration thing. Everybody gong to this thing! People who faid to fly, who don't leave their house to go to the corner store, recluses, people that normally frighten for a lil crowd of two and three people, black people that you don't see at all from October to April and that duz hibernate when the first leaves start falling off the trees and only peep their heads out come spring, all running down to DC for Tuesday and they are coming from everywhere: out of city, out of state, out of country. Its bananas! I mean people flying down and driving down from Toronto, people flying in from the Caribbean. Everyone wants to glimpse the man and get a touch of the hem of his garment. You know how happy the airlines must be with the amount of travellers they getting for this event? And the car people and oil people and the hotel people must be just as thrilled too.

And its pretty amazing that these people are leaving their homes in other countries and going to cold DC to take part in this event and be a part of history given how unbelievably cold it has been in the North East in the past couple of weeks.

Imagine if they had had the swearing in in the summer?

Boy that Obama fella single handedly keeping this economy going! And he ain't even got no real power yet so yea imagine what going happen when he finally sworn in.

Me I'm sarcastic and jdid so I'm just waiting for actual results now. All hail the POTUS.

Mountaintops

And though it seems heaven sent we ain't are ready to see a black president.

Just needed to correct Pac's line there.

Stop for a minute. Just stop. Consider where you are right now in your life and where you were when you heard the news that Barack Obama had won the US presidential election. Bask in the elation and the euphoria, take in the sights and the sounds. Remember them!

Without overly indulging in hyperbole this is truly a momentous occasion. Its one of those "one moment in time" moments that Whitney sang about.

In my lifetime so far I've seen such events as the end of apartheid and the end of the cold war. Those were moments back then that I hoped might come but still never really dreamed would occur. Similarly but oh so much more of a dream, pipe dream even, was the concept of a black president in the US. In fact it was so much a dream we didn't even dare to think it. But on this day, that dream has become a reality, well a reality in so much that a black man has won the election and is now just waiting to be sworn in as President in January.

I can only imagine what black folk felt like when slavery was abolished (lik an lock up done wid hurray for jin jin!) or when they got the right to vote. Maybe this occasion gives me an inkling as to those joyous occasions. Maybe not but just maybe.

Now understand my position. I am a Bajan, a West Indian, a immigrant to Canada, a black man, not necessarily in that order. I am not African-American and although we're all African many of my connections to that actual continent aside from my skin tone have long been lost in the depths of the middle passage and the annals of slavery. So some may ask why is this so important to me, what does Obama's election change, why should I care?

Well first off let me say that although race plays its part I embrace Obama not just for his skin tone but for his approach, his message, the way he ran his campaign and the possibilities that he represents not just for the US but for the entire world.

And now, I embrace his victory. We are coming full circle from the Dubya pick to Obama. Under and Obama presidency things may or may not change in terms of US policy, it may not affect the price of oil or the economy , at least in the short term, and it doesn't mean that we awake this morning and all racism (check this Globe and Mail racist poem) and prejudice has magically ended somehow but at least from a black perspective the outcome of this election says something has changed. We as black people, as minorities, have now seen a glimmer that possibilities lie ahead for us and our children that we might not have dreamed had existed before. We have the audacity to hope.

We may not be alike in many ways, him and I, and I definitely don't expect him to have a specific black agenda while in office and won't get mad when he looks out for the betterment of the entire country as opposed to just the betterment of a specific group but Obama's victory today is my victory, its our collective victory as black people. Note I didn't say the war has been won there are many battles yet to be fought but this right here this is a victory and a significant one nonetheless.

Obama has shattered a glass ceiling beyond most of our wildest expectations and the same way that some expect that we black folk should accept a collective shame and guilt whenever some random black man commits a crime well why shouldn't we now embrace Barack's victory, an achievement that gives us pride? So as I said his victory is mine and I cheer loudly and unabashedly for him.

We have a new hero. Especially for us who are here in North America as minorities. We no longer only need look to foreign leaders or dead African kings and Pharaohs or Marcus, Martin and Malcolm to point out to our children what black people have and can achieved. We have a real live person closer to home who isn't a rapper, who isn't an athlete, who isn't an entertainer who we can say has achieved the impossible, defied the odds, made it to the very top and looks like you and I. We can look at our children and point to Obama while paraphrasing his words Yes you can.

There is still a long way to go but each journey starts with the first step. As Mos Def said we living now with the promise of the infinite, we living now with the promise of the infinite.

Inshalla!

On a more somber note I also embrace this win on behalf of those who paved the way, those who sacrificed and were beaten and tormented and suffered to make this day happen. Those who didn't live to see the dream come to fruition. "I'm destined to live this dream for all my peeps who didn't make it." Obama's grandmother didn't live to see this day, my own father, who I know would have loved to see this, didn't make it and my friend Callie in Florida died last week, so close to this day but yet so far, a few days ironically after I had actually dared for the first time to ask her the question "so ya think Obama going to win?" She had replied simply "Yep...I think we are gonna have our first black president." She was right.

So today I celebrate for those who came before us, those who paved the way, those who didn't live to see the moment but yet shared the dream. Those of us who have lived to see this day should beyond all be thankful that we are here to see it.

So with that said congratulations and good luck President elect Obama. You have made it to the mountain tops but its not an easy road you now must travel. Our prayers go with you for the next and most likely hardest part of the journey. As Buju said "its not an Easy Road, many see the glamour and the glitter and think it's a bed of rose, Who feels it knows, Lord help me sustain these blows."

Make us proud son! Represent!

The spectre of fear

Stupidee!

Imagine that!

These got to be desperate times boy cause desperate measures surely being used these days. Desperate like Ashley Todd, a McCain volunteer, who told a story last week of being mugged by a 6'4" 200lb black man who on realizing she was a McCain supporter took a knife and carved a big B on her cheek. Cuhdear! Poor girl!

The only problem was the whole story was a fraud, fake, a lie, a fabrication, she mek it up den if you don't believe me.

But I had to ask myself what kinda idiot would carve a B into she own face just to make it seem like she get assault by an Obama supporter? Desperate woman I guess. And then I read more of the story and the woman is such an idiot she couldn't even fabricate the story properly.

For one she carve the B upside down on her face. Now she could have said the man had he upside down when he carve it but she din even say that so now unless she was attacked by a dyslexic Obama supporter dat wun din mekkin it at all. Then apparently she was on Twitter posting at the same time she was supposed to be being attacked. These young people dont think at all, at all. Ya mean they cant even go into communications silence for two minutes to fake a proper attack!

Dat is why I keep saying the technology advancing but the common sense decreasing. Real eediat girl!

If she did pick a O to draw pun she face she mighta get way cause ya can draw a O backwards an nuhbody doan notice.

Anyways and why is always got to be a big black man that attack somebody? Wha happen to being attacked by midgets or bony white people? These people been abusing dis particular big black man boogieman to the extreme these days. The ruthless big black man lurking in the shadows to attack and rob and beat and murder and rape. Poor fella, he musse would get tired if he was actually guilty of 90% of the things he duz get accused of. Tiefing babies and attacking this and the next body and carving upside down B's, done obviously from his spider man like perch hanging upside down on the wall.

I mean really isnt it time to move on to another boogieman stereotype! How about I was attacked by a crazed moose shooting hockey mom. I mean that one scares the crap out of me.

Joe da plumber

Last night's debate was rather boring as most of the debates were anyways. A few points though

1) Who is this Joe da Plumber dude, is he related to Joe sixpack. Is he Joe Sixpack or is Joe da Plumber a Biden alias?

2) McCain was hilarious when he was playing the wounded victim over Rep.Senator John Lewis' comments. I half expected him to break into tears. Whatever guy!

3) McCain called Palin an expert on autism. I've been corrected that Palin's child actually has Down Syndrome but nevertheless lets just image the child had autism. How can you call someone an expert with just 5 months of experience? Now if she had a 12 year old disabled child I could buy that but 5 months really? I guess it was more of the I can see Russia from my front door so I'm a foreign relations expert logic.

4) Whats the big deal with Universal health care? The U.S treats this whole subject like we're asking them to forsake Democracy and institute communism. I'm not saying Universal Health Care is perfect but its really not as bad as you guys make it seem. Even when a health plan sounds like its close to Universal health care they always have to make this disclaimer that its not the same. Seems so silly to me. Plus the US government just took over some banks. Isnt it more socialist to take over banks than to have Universal health care?

5) Have you noticed Obama has a bit of griot in him? He's always trying to tell a story involving real people. "Like the recently laid off carpenter in Boise Idaho who I met last week who is worried about paying for his daughters college education or the midget that I met in Youngstown Pennslvania whose house had been repossessed". De man full a story

Oh and for those interested in the outcome of the Canadian elections. Basically it was a waste of 300 million dollars as the Conservatives won another minority government. We'll probably have another one of these things in a year or so.

ps: I'm thinking if Obama wins and I stress if, then on November 5th we should all blog about it and by all I mean Caribbean, Canadian, American, all you cats that comment here. anybody with me?

Election Day

Today is election day in Canada. My prediction is that the ruling party wins another minority government and we see another election in a year and a half or two. To be honest I believe the average Canadian is rather apathetic about federal politics and elections at the moment. We could care less, none of our potential leaders are awe inspiring anyways.

Maybe that's why so many of us are interested in the Presidential election down south in the US. Actually most of us are more interested in that election than we are in this one. Blame it on Obama perhaps. Yesterday driving down York-Durham townline road I saw a sign next to the roadway saying honk three times for Obama. Today's Toronto Star ran a cartoon with a ballot with the names of the four leaders of the federal parties here and Obama name with Obama's ticked off on the ballot. Yep he would get votes here actually he is so popular that he'd win a landslide here, well at least in the urban areas.

Still this whole Obama thing and our own Canadian elections got me thinking. When will we see our own version of Obama here in Canada? And by Obama I actually dont mean inspiring politicians although there has been a severe shortage of those here lately and it would be nice to have someone who could bring some energy and make us interested in politics again. No what I mean is when will we see our own homegrown minority party leader and Prime Minister?

Yes Canada prides iteslf in being more Liberal than the US and we did had a female prime minister in Kim Campbell back in the 90s but she actually just inherited Mullroney's mandate and when elections were called she was summarily dismissed. But for all that is there any minority who's close to being the leader of a Canadian major party and vying for the post of prime minister?

Not that I can think of.

Look I accept it most likely wont be someone black. There's not a big enough or united enough black caucus here for us to push an Obama type that far up the power chain but the South Asian and Asian populations here, at least in most of the bigger urban centres, are pretty big and should be able to get someone up to those higher echelons of power. So why hasnt it happened yet? Why are the major parties here still mainly the bastion of white men and a few women?

Is it because outside of the main urban areas like Toronto, Monteal and Vancouver minorities still have no real pull? I dont know. I just wish we had some color at the top of our political parties or at least someone minority vying for that leadership when the party's held their conferences.

Maybe it'd help out with the dearth of charisma and personality at the top of the heap here. Or maybe not but it might put some interest back in Canadian politics. At least then we could debate on how whether we really are as liberal as we say we are.

Pistol Proof

Always calm under pressure no need to act ill
You gots to chill - EPMD


Ok so last night's town hall meeting between Obama and McCain was kind of boring.

McCain really couldn't hide his general dislike for Obama though and I found he was way out of order with his "That one" comment directed at Obama. Even ignoring any possible racial overtones, it was still the sort of response that made you almost forget the question to which it was the answer (something about Obama voting with Bush on some issue I believe) and just made you see McCain as a rude, arrogant old man with no respect, who oozes contempt for his younger opponent. It was well rude and outta place!

And not only did he use "That one" in reference to Obama but he pointed as well. It wasn't a full on turn around and point but he did point without looking directly at Obama. Hmmm well maybe not looking at him said something as well.

The comment and the gesture was like emphasising that you were so upset with this person, that they had done something so wrong that you just couldn't bring yourself to utter their name to look them in the face. It was terrible.

"It was he cross deyso, he is the body dat do it, he yes he, that wun deyso."

That was how I read that comment and anyone who has been pointed out like that knows its not a nice way to be referred to.

I must say though without regard of any other aspect of the presidential race that Obama has shown himself to be presidential material just by his cool manner. And I'm not talking about cool as in his being hip or well liked I'm speaking about his grace under fire, what seventeenth century Caribbean buccaneers referred to as being "pistol proof".

I mean speaking for myself if I had been referred to as such well if I didn't cuss out McCain directly last night at the very least I would let go two loud chupses or a serious cut eye in his direction. But Obama just lets it all roll off of him in a proverbial sticks and stones manner.

But it makes me wonder about these debates or should that be read as de-bait because it seems as if they are baiting Obama trying to make him lose his cool so that can catch him in the angry black man noose that they have waiting for him should he slip up. The entire Republican campaign has completely forsaken real issues for cheap shots at character and vague associations. They seem worried now and any semblance at decency and fair play has gone through the window.

But as the confusion swirls Obama has so far remained pistol proof, calm under pressure no need to act ill, letting it roll off his back like water off a duck's.

Less than a month to go should be interesting.

Shout outs

Palin winked a few times and at one point gave a shout-out — maybe the first shout-out of any vice presidential debate — to a third-grade class.

Wha de France I hearing doah?

The potential vice-president of the United States of America did not just get up in a televised debate and give a "shout out" to somebody. Ya lie! Wha next thing she gine be throwing up "A" signs, asking we to put lighters in the air, sending big ups to her crew in Juno, you kno and bragging on how many bodies she done killed, moose bodies that is. Oh wait she's probably already done that last one.

I mean I already knew, rather had hints she was sorta ghetto what given the chile names and the pregnant teenager but still she like she was trying to prove her bona fides last night.

Look there is a time and place for everything. I'm sorry but leave the colloquialisms to their time and place. A live nationally televised debate was not the place to give shout outs. It tells me your vocabulary is limited or you dont have the sense to know when to use certain types of language. Leave that sorta talk to the fellas on ESPN and Sportsnet and people like me dat duz blog. We aint running for nuttin besides a TTC bus on mornings.

How it would look if Obama was giving a presentation and say yea I wanta thank my boy O-G Joe Biden for hooking me up with these figures and Michelle for the slamming PowerPoint slides. ha you know I love you boo!

Everybody would be looking at the man like he gone off or something. Plus you would hear how he inarticulate and he ghetto and he sound like a rapper and all sort of stuff so. But let Palin do that and suddenly she folksy and cute and represent the everyday Joe sixpack.

Get the bleep outta here!

Oh and what was with the winking? Looka me an she aint nuh friends, we aint share no inside joke, so either she got an involuntary tick in she eye or she was trying to get fresh wid me pun tv. And she coulda at least wink at muh when the wife wasnt sitting next to me. Some a dese women aint got nuh sense nor nuh shame at all at all den.


Oh and just because.
maverick, maverick maverick maverick, maverick.
Sorry just had to get that out my system.
maverick
that was the last one promise

This n That

I really dont have any coherent thoughts. Sleep deficiency and allergy season will do that to ya. So anyways

1) Tv's back. yipee! Think I'm going to like the new series Fringe!

2) The Conservatives are going to kick series ass this election in Canada. I'm calling it as they finally get their majority. The Liberals are dithering.

3) It was like something from out of a movie in my opinion. Woman shoots man and throws body from moving car on a crowded highway. Oh and of course there was the obligatory police chase afterwards. Damn T-Dot is getting real.

4) Doesn't it make you wonder about our leaders when election campaigns become contests between childish individuals with feigned reactions to comments taken out of context. Like Obama called folks bitter a few months back and we're still on that and he made this pig comment yesterday and thats going to be news forever. Just grow up and deal with the issues. Damn!

5) Kardi's new album is pretty nice. However I find he rhymes like a toned down version of dancehall's Dr. Evil (as opposed to Austin Powers Dr Evil) on that Dangerous track with Akon.

6) Speaking of Austin Power's Dr Evil. Why'd that dude have to wear a nehru jacket? I've got conspiracy theories about that. I will be starting a campaign to bring back the Shirt Jac! Folks are going whats a shirt jac? If you're from north america you probably wouldnt get it. and i'm too tired to explain.

7) I've got a 10 reason's Obama will not win the election idea rattling around in my head. #10 because non-Americans love him to death. #9 because this election isnt about the issues, #8 because he's muslim (or at least some american still think he is), #7 because he will be mauled to death by a pack of rabid hockey moms, #6 because Michelle is a black revolutionary (power to the people), #5 because he's elitist, ... well i'll leave the rest for now but you get the drift.

Palin punch

Before I start I'd just like to distance myself from the Obama campaign before he's forced to repudiate me and my comments.

Just watched Sarah Palin's speech at the Republican convention. Wasn't particularly impressed. Felt like she pandered a bit in the beginning with her whole this is my life segment. Here's my eldest son he's going off to Iraq to be shot at. Here's my baby with a disability which now makes me more in touch with all you folk with kids with diasabilities.

Seems like Obama was right and the Republicans are trying to make this more about personalities than about issues. She tried to attack Obama on some trivial stuff that he's been attacked on before, she didnt break new ground and with her Tina Fey look and those weak punchlines was it just me or was anyone else expecting her to break into "Live fom New York its Saturday night"?

Got to say though that this Palin pick is pretty crazy. I mean on the surface I thought they just wanted a female pick to offset Obama but Palin really? That was your best choice? Iwas thinking maybe they pulled the name out of a hat but then I thought if they did that her name should never even have been in the hat in the first place. I mean I'm never seen more dirt dished about a candidate in such a short space of time than with her. One can only wonder whats going to shake out of her closet when the researchers have more time to dig into her background.

The big issue has been her pregnant daughter. Now to me its really not that big a deal but then it is since she's the VP family values candidate of the Republicans and it really is hypocitical when you think of what the Republicans would have you think of the fact that Palin's 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Can you imagine what would be said if one of Obama's daughters was pregnant at 17 and how much flack he and Michelle would have gotten about that? Yea exactly! So why shouldnt Palin and her husband get flack now?

Still much props to the dude who knocked her up because he's soon going to be the most famous baby father in America. He needs some "Best baby fadda ina America" t-shirts made up cause K-Fed just got straight knocked out the box! Bloaaw!

Denouce her

Lol I just realized that that title could apply to all three stories lol

1) Madonna compared John McCain to Hitler. When's Obama's camp going to denounce her? Tap tap tap, I'm waiting patiently here. I mean he denounced Ludacris for his song in which he took shots at Hillary and McCain so lets go I'm waiting on a Madonna denouncement. Hurry it up already!

ps: Was I the only one who thought his VP selection was Joe Budden. I could just Obama on the phone. "No you fools I said Budden, Mood Muzik Part 2 son. B.U D ah forget it its too late now lets just go with this Biden guy". Just kidding.

2) Funniest thing I've heard lately. Friend went to Subway last week and as they were wrapping his sandwich he noticed a fly in the lobster salad container on the counter. He tried to discretely bring it to the servers attention when she said "If you want it, it will be extra."

3) Ever so often I regale you with tales of how my wife is trying to take me out i.e have me knocked off, eliminate me, off me. You laugh, and say I'm imagining things but I think she really is.

Case in point. Yesterday I go out into the garden to trim the hedge. I leave the door unlocked and I'm trimming away when without warning I'm attacked by wasps. Angry wasps. Guess I must have gotten too close to their hive. I took a few stings in the top of my head and one on my shoulder which really, really hurt and I throw away my tools and fling my arms up doing the St. Vitus dance. I then proceed to do my best Usain Bolt in the 200m impression leaving the wasps in the dust and run pell-mell to the door to get away from the savage beasts. Only thing is I get to the door and my wife has the damn thing locked cause she supposedly went upstairs. Likely story!

Try telling me that wasnt a deliberate move to off me? Yea uh huh!

Houses

Did anyone catch this item with Presidential nominee Senator McCain saying he doesn't know how many houses he owns?

Must be nice huh?

Wow! I ain't mad at him for owning his real estate, more power to him but it just looks bad to say something like that as Presidential nominee. Especially in this era of sub-prime loans and massive foreclosures. It just smacks of a diss to poor people. It also says he really doesn't know whats important to the people these days like not having their homes grabbed from beneath their feet cause of some shady wall street orchestrated financial loan scheme.

Still Americans want their presidents to be rich, after all the whole process with its drawn out processes and campaign is geared towards those with deep pockets. They just don't want to be reminded that these dudes are rich.

Meanwhile the Republicans are trying to pitch Obama as the elitist one. (Actually they're both rich & elitist but at least Obama didnt make that comment.)

Yes we can

Breaking News just coming to hand to the staff of Doan Mind Me. Remember we get the news here first so always stay tuned.

Democratic nominee and Presidential hopefully Barack Hussain Obama having sustained some flack over the past couple of weeks is now the subject of a US $1.7 Billion lawsuit filed in federal court today.

The plaintiff none other than popular cartoon celebrity Bob The Builder whose occupation has been listed as construction contractor. In the suit filed today, Bob and his lawyers are suing Mr Obama and his campaign for misappropriating Bob's catch phrase "Yes we can" stating that the phrase is copyrighted by Bob and his construction company and that Mr. Obama has taken it without permission, using it extensively and illegally in his campaign slogans, speeches, buttons, shirts and other paraphernalia.

The suit also claims that Bob has suffered extensive grief, damages and financial misfortune due to the misappropriation of the phrase with some of Bob's erstwhile clients, mainly Republican farmer types, believing that Bob was openly endorsing Mr. Obama's campaign by allowing the use of the phrase, deserting Bob's business. They claim Obama's campaign would be the death of them all and stood to put the average farmer out of business.

Due to this belief Bob has lost a sizable chunk of his business and his once formidable empire has actually in recent weeks been close to bankruptcy with mainstays Dizzy the concrete mixer and Lofty the crane staging a wildcat walkout over bouncing cheques just two weeks ago and JJ of JJ's Parts Emporium refusing to allow Bob further credit at his parts depot. Meanwhile partner and possible love interest Wendy has conspicuously moved her trailer off the lot and down to the other end of town. None were available for comment to this Jdid reporter.

Obama representatives dismiss the suit saying that one of Bob's main clients, Farmer Pickles, a known Republican contributor and superdelegate was behind the whole controversy. Pickles who openly backs the GOP and harbored political aspirations is known to have run for Mayor of Bobsville in 2000 and for a vacant senate seat on the Republican ticket two years later losing in a controversial recount which saw the votes from Bob's machines disallowed once and for all.

Pickles himself is definitely is quite the polemic character. No stranger to controversy he was in fact again embroiled in contentious situations twice last year. Once when acting on a tip off believed to be given by informer Spud the scarecrow INS representatives raided his farm searching for undocumented workers, none were found. Again just three months ago Pickles' prize pig Humpty disappeared mysteriously the day before the Johnson family cookout setting in stage a county wide expensive pig hunt including the use of police helicopters and tracking dogs. No signs of Humpty were ever found. Said Nate Johnson aka Cedric the Entertainer "I don't know nuttin about no Humpty Dumpty but dem ribs from that pig that we "found" up on the road there sure was good. oooh weee! Aint that right Lil Bow Wow?"

After numerous attempts our Jdid reporter finally got a chance to speak to Bob a few minutes ago. "I've got nothing against that Muslim fella Mr Obama" said Bob who curiously refuses to give his last name for the record "but I just don't want him using my catch phrase. He's got the kiddies confused and unless he settles this suit and refrains fro using my catch phrase I'm going to use my considerable influence with the 2-5 year olds to ensure he doesn't win this election. oh and Wendy come back I miss you something awesome fierce."

Other mainstream media have focused on Jesse "The nutcracker" Jackson's recent comments on Obama and the controversial New Yorker Magazine cover portraying Obama as a Muslim and his wife as a black revolutionary complete with urban hairstyle.

This story threatens to be bigger than both those and the Rev Wright story if you ask us.

Speaking to other Obama representatives, in Queens New York today, off the record they said Bob's case doesn't have a leg to stand on and Bob's just trying to get his 15 minutes of fame. "If anyone had the right to be upset and suing it should have been Q-Tip and Phife! Dats words to big bird son!" For the uninitiated Q-Tip and Phife were part of a defunct hip hop group called A Tribe called Quest whose 1990 underground hit Can I kick it? made use of the phrase "yes we can" prominently.

We at Doan Mind Me await the fallout from this suit but it brings to mind another suit filed by another then unknown cartoon character back in 1996 against presidential hopeful Bob Dole for misappropriating his moniker Sponge Bob Square Pants. We all know how that one turned out. Sponge Bob is now a cartoon icon and Bob Dole well lets say he's seen better days.

Reporting live from Doan Mind me this is intrepid reporter Jdid getting down to the facts and saying Doan Mind me I duz talk nuff foolishness.

Foul ....and one

You've got to check out Brother Buck's cartoon.

For a person who claims she has so much more experience and is so much more ready to lead than her primary opponent, Hilary Clinton sure does put her foot in her mouth a lot.

“You know my husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right?” she said. “We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California.”

I don't know. I mean I sort of understand her point as Wyclef would say Anything can Happen right? Still to bring up the specter of assassination in a race against an opponent who was given secret service protection the earliest any candidate has ever been in the history of US elections has got to be one of the dumbest things you could possibly do.

It shows how desperate and frazzled Hillary really is in my opinion. The race for her is over, she's just shell shocked and refusing to let go of a claim she thought was her birthright.

I know earlier in the campaign I read that certain older black folks were afraid to vote for Obama cause they were afraid that they were putting him in harms way. I don't really subscribe to that logic but every time I see him giving one of those speeches I emotionally brace myself for the possibility that shots could ring out. I hope and pray they don't but as ya never know right. Got lots of folk out there who are not pleased that a black man is this close to the democratic nomination. Its just the reality.

Still you don't want to hear your opponent bringing up that possibility cause it almost seems like they are hoping that that is what happens. Actually its just a poor comment regardless of its intention. A silly silly comment.

Hillary we're tired of your excuses for staying in the race so long. You're just playing the spoiler now. It almost looks like you are trying to muddy the waters for your fellow democrat. But do what you feel to do. All I can say is both you and Bill showed a wicked and dirty side this election so we're taking back our first black president moniker.