Friday, November 27, 2009

No beak spared!

Photobucket Happy Thanksgiving to my US peoples.

Now I notice that allya have a tradition over there that come Thanksgiving the President duz pardon one sad solitary turkey wid a name like Freedom or Courage or something so, sparing him from becoming someone's dinner.

I was curious about this whole Presidental turkey pardon business so I did a little research and found out that the pardoned turkey duz get send to Disneyland to live out his life. Well actually they used to send the turkey to a farm previously in a place name Frying Pan farm park but that change now. Now cuhdear how wunnah used to do that to the poor turkey sending him to Frying pan park. Ya mean dem din had nuh space in Baking Pot areana? Wha anyway ya look at dat um is cruel an unusual punishment. That is like freeing a man from slavery and sending he to live in Captivity and Punishment lane or Bondage alley or Whipping road. Dat cant be right at all.

Anyways reading up some more I realize that the pardoned turkey does not even live a full year after he get pardoned, musse duz be too fat an die off of a poultry hypertension and diabetes an ting so and I say to myself so what is the point of this pardon? Save the turkey from the pot only to have it die of not even old age but whatever turkey diseases it is that turkeys duz die from when them that big. Waste a time!

So I say unto you Obama has let us down. I aint talking about health care and Afghanistan an, recession and bailouts and them sorta matters, I dealing with an issue close and dear and important to the hearts of the average American: the critical issue of turkey pardons. I mean, the man come in with all this big talk bout change this and change that an yet turkeys still getting pardon. That is completly unacceptable in my book. A total disregard for the average American family I say. How Fox news hasnt picked up on this yet I dont rightly know.

So my fellow countrymen, I believe that there is no need to pardon a turkey and if I am elected President (even doah I aint americun) I will make sure that no turkey is left unmaimed. (I also promise not to give you Universal health care like we enjoy in Canada cause frankly wunnah doan deserve it but that is for anudda day). Yes that is my full Presidental campaign platform...murderation for turkeys come thanksgiving. Not a beak spared!

Cause think about it. We in a big, big recession, poor people ketching hell, stocks down, big crooks steal we retirement funds, jobs gone a begging and some fellas cant even afford corn beef let loan turkey when the day come and you giving turkey a pardon to go run bout Disneyland wid Mickey, Goofy and Donald.

Naa star that cant mek it! That jive (turkey) cannot fly in my book. Kill off the turkey and feed an unfortunate family I say.

And ya know what get to me is that if this was an election year nuh turkey pardoning din happening eitha. Cause Obama would be on the campaign trail saying things like "An let us not forget Sarah, Sarah Parker from Wisconsin, who I met last week on the campaign trail. A single mother of 4 who works two jobs and after paying the the light and water bills cant even afford Thanksgiving dinner for her family." And then he would add a bariffle a chat about a time for change an next thing ya know turkey roasting on an open fire. I lie?

And God forbid that Palin woman had even get into the White house. Pardon which turkey?? Far from pardoning she woulda hunt down, kill wid she bare hands, pluck feathers, stuff and done got the turkey skin out on the table before eitha one a we cud say maverick two times and that would be on a regular weekday furthermore Thanksgiving.

So next year allya vote fa me. Remember the name Jdid. Not a beak spared! Looka somebody get me some campaign buttons nuh.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Cat Man

So this video has been making its way around the net lately. It shows a policeman at a traffic stop being accosted by a rather friendly cat who decides to take all sorts of liberties with the policeman.

Well I saw the Scarborough equivalent on Saturday. On my way up the street, saw a rather disheveled looking older man ahead of me making strange hand signals at a passing fire engine. First thought was mental illness, let me keep far from him but since he was heading the same direction as me I had to pass him.

Old dirty army green coat half off, pants sagging and as I got closer I got the shock of my life. What I had assumed was the black liner of a hoodie on the jacket was actually a large black tabby perched nonchalantly around old boys neck and shoulders just sitting there as calm as can be like this was the norm with his tail occasionally flicking. Strangest thing I've seen in a while. Must be nice to travel all relaxed on someone's shoulders like that.

I wonder if thats an option I can look into with these rising TTC fares. I dont weigh much, any volunteers?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Third World Bookstore

Photobucket On Friday, I went to a small ceremony to dedicate a bench to the now deceased founders and owners of the former Third World Bookstore Leonard and Gwendolyn Johnston. It was held in the parkette just north of Bathurst Subway station. Big up the folk at A Different Booklist who made this all come together.

For those that dont know or remember, Third World Bookstore was a small bookstore here in Toronto, on Bathurst street a little ways north of Bloor, which operated up until about 9-10 years ago.

It specialized in Third World and Black literature filling a desperate need by the black community in Toronto.

Listening to the tributes on Friday brought back my own memories of Third World Bookstore. I think I actually discovered it by accident in first year of University. It was the spring after final exams and in all honesty I believe I was at that time straying from my usual haunts to find the Too Black Guys store (located just up the street from Third World) to get some gear (almost 20 years later, I still have those t-shirts I bought that day). On the way up Bathurst trying to find the elusive Too Black Guys, I happened to pass this interesting looking bookstore. Actually I think I walked in and asked them for directions to the store I was looking for and an elderly gentleman told me it was just around the corner.

Anyway always being a sucker for a good bookstore, on my way back from my mission I stopped in and was pretty happy to find an amazing collection of books by Black and Caribbean authors. Stuff that was missing elsewhere in the City at that time. Think I ended up with Van Sertima's They Came before Columbus on that first visit.

Over the years I returned quite a few times to that bookstore always leaving with at least one book on every occasion. I always found the atmosphere rather intriguing as there would always be some interesting conversation, political or otherwise going on between the owners and the customers who seemed to be more than customers. Unlike some I never got involved in those conversations though, too shy, content to browse the shelves while paying rapt attention as these folks with a much better gasp of issues and ability to argue than myself broke down topic after topic and how shall we say it hmmm dropped science.

It was like being in a lecture without being in a lecture.

OK that doesn't sound right but what I'm saying is it was a place of knowledge not just on the shelves but contained within its inhabitants and the conversations found there within as well.

In Toronto, I find its difficult and rare to find spots where black folk can be black folk. Some of you will understand that statement some of you wont but I don't tend to explain it here. All I'll say is Third World Bookstore felt to me like one of those places where black folk could be black folk.

So I was happy on Friday, to see tribute paid to such deserving folk and happy to hear speakers who knew them much better than myself give voice to their memories of the Johnstons and their importance in our community. Let us remember our pioneers and our history. Bless!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Ok another Rihanna story but I aint focusing on she.

Apparently Rihanna flew her family in from Barbados for some big awards show in New York. I aint really into all the details but this part of the article caught my attention

The group went on to dinner at South Gate in the Essex House, where one Rihanna relative was spotted helping America's UN ambassador, Susan Rice, pull down the lining of her gown in the ladies' room.
For me this was just so quintessentially Bajan or West Indian. cause ya know bajan women over a certain age aint gine let ya get way walking round looking scruffy at all. UN ambassador or not, it doan matter, dem wud sort ya out propa. At least Rihanna family decide to help she out in the relative privacy of the ladies room cause ya know some a we people woulda see the lining aint fit right and go over to the ambassador at she table and pull it down right deyso and call she out in a real loud loud voice too.

But I can only imagine the conversation at Rihanna's family table beforehand:

"wait who is dat wid all dem big able security mens? wait dat is Michelle!! whichpart Obama is, he hay too?"

"No chupse! doan get excited, dat is not Michelle, you like you bline or sumting ya kno! you see Sasha and Maliah anyway bout hay? plus she too lightskin, unless Michelle start bleaching like dat baseball fella Sosa. Wuhloss!"

"Ya right soul, dat aint Michelle but whoever she is she like she is a big shot ya"
Rihanna interjects to quitely inform them that its the UN Ambassador.

"See I tell you she did a big shot. I say so from the time I see all dem big muguffy security mens walk through de door"

"well big shot or not you see she dress?"

"Wha wrong wid she dress? is a nice dress."

"you aint notice yet, you like ya getting bline in ya ol age fa true"

"hey hey, well now ya say so looka she doah"

"but nuhbody cann tell she dat the dress side skin up. wha dat aint look good at all fa a big shot like she. cuhdear. ya wud figure ona dem hardback mens woulda tell she sumting"

"looka whisper cross deyso an tell she to pull down the dress"
Much to Rihanna's emabrassment, frantic gesturing and psssing at Mrs Rice who has no idea whats wrong with the people at Rihanna's table.

"She aint noticing we ya kno. poor great so n ......"

"cuhdear doan do she suh bad nuh"

"Look, look she gettin up to guh in the toilet and de dress still skin up"

"wha she cant feel dat sumting wrong and all she slip showing? she cann feel a breeze?"

"um look too bad nuh? Poor chile, looka ambassador or not, I gine in the toilet an try an tell she something"

And the rest is history.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Pan-Am games

Toronto won the rights to the 2015 Pan-Am games. Hoorah!

Ok sorry I know all of us here in Toronto are all supposed to be happy that Toronto finally won the rights to host a big event after years of being the brides maid and never the bride but the reality is I'm one of the ones who could care less about our hosting a big sporting event. Actually that's not true if anything I have a negative take on the whole hosting the Pa-Am games.

I think its a big waste of money. I mean as others are now saying, its not like Toronto has a lot or even any money to play with right now. The Federal and Provincial governments are running huge deficits, the local governments are penny pinching and also hitting residents with tax increases at every turn so how are we finding a billion dollars, that's right one billion dollars, to build a athletes village?

I mean the City is sticking us with a 17 dollar increase on a metropass in January, has us paying extra for garbage and waste collection the quality of which has deteriorated, have put extra taxes on renewing drivers licenses, transferring house ownerships etc etc etc all the while crying poor but has cash to spare to build locations for sporting events? I mean Arts and sports need to be supported but really?

Oh I know it grabs the headlines and makes for a great photo-op for the politicians to win the Pan-Am's games bid. Whoo hoo. Look we're bringing something to your town. But it doesn't help the average working man who probably wont be able to afford Pan -Am tickets, will be inconvenienced by it all and who will probably be footing the bill cause regardless of how much money the Feds and the Province say they are going to put in, the municipalities in the GTA will have to put some funds in too and this is just money we cant afford to put in. Why put extra tax on an already overtaxed populace.

Oh they sell it as it will increase profile and it will increase tourism. Yea isn't that the same stuff the Caribbean governments said about the Cricket World Cup two years ago. Yea tell me how that turned out.

This ain't even the Olympics. Its the Pan-Am games. How much press coverage do the Pan-Am games get? Does anyone know who won the last Pan-Am gold medal in any event? So why, in a recession, are we committing to spend so much money on an event that's like a warm up for the Olympics, the Commonwealth games and the World Games. Sporting events that actually matter.

Seriously this is silly and as a taxpayer I'm not happy about it one bit.

Oh thought of one positive. Nine months after the games the City might see a slew of babies with superior athletic genes and maybe Canada will be competitive in sports again in say 2036. Hmmm someone needs to do a study on that.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Grab my attention

So today I'm on the crowded subway. Not sure what happen this morning but at Kennedy it seemed more crowded than usual. No sitting room if you get on after Kennedy.

So anyway I grabbed a seat at Kennedy and I'm plugged in. By plugged in I mean I really ain't paying no attention to anyone and anything around me. Ipod going, not blasting but enough to drown out the extraneous sounds around me and trying to read the free newspaper. I took a look around when I first sat down to see who next to me and make sure nobody trying to roll a blunt again but then that's that. I'm in my own world. Listening to the Wu and trying to do a Sudoku. Hey what do you know, that rhymes!

Anyways somewhere down the line, I deeply into both my Wu and Sudoku and this young lady get in and stand up in front of me. Only saw her face when she get in and ain't pay no more attention to her.

So couple of stations later I look up and realize when she shift her position, hey she's pregnant. It actually wasn't obvious to me partly because I wasn't paying attention and partly because of the angle at which she was standing to my seat. So what do I do? I took out my earphones, looked at her and offered her a seat.

"Do you need a seat"
"No" she responds
"You sure?"
"Well I asked you for a seat earlier and you didn't say anything" She said with a scowl.
"Well I didn't hear you ask anything and I didn't notice you were pregnant" I said as I vacated my seat for her.

What da???

I mean seriously why is she upset with me. If she sees me deep in concentration on my Sudoku and earphones in my ear and clearly not paying any sort of attention to her how she going to whisper a question to me? At least try to grab my attention before she ask me something.

And the copping an attitude wid me. Chupse!

Plus was I the only one sitting that could offer her a seat? I wasn't exactly surrounded by senior citizens. If I ain't hear she ya would think that somebody else would have offered her a seat. How is this my fault? Why she getting attitude with me.

I mean, don't get me wrong at all, I ain't got nuh issues with giving up a seat for someone old or pregnant but if I ain't hear she or see she pushing bread cart so why would I randomly just get up and give way my seat?

Chupse! allya can say what ya wanta say but I feel she trying to mek me look like a bad man that deliberately ain't giving up my seat when I ain't do she nuttin.