Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Caribana feva

Caribana in the air and I duz have to laff.

No, I not laffin at the Americun touristes like last year. And to be honest boy I wasnt really laffin nuh laff, just making an observation about dem so doan feel nuh way. How I cud laff at mi Americun friends when is 80% of mi blog visitors from de states. Ya feel I is a eediat? Not I, I not biting the hand that feed me.

Watch all my Caribbean and Canadian people get offended now cuhdear I just joking. Love off all wunnah bad like cook food.

PhotobucketNo, what I laffin bout is how the Caribana fever duz ketch everybody. Is like how the spirit duz tek hold a ya in some of dem churches where the people start to speak in tongues and jump bout in the aisles and duz have lil children holin on to dem mudda saying "mummy but is wha wrong wid dat woman? she like she gone mad or something eh he."

Well actually I lie Caribana fever is not really like that but still it duz be a fever and it duz be ketching quick quick by some people.

Make no mistake though. A lot a we doan ketch it, ya must realize dat but what duz be really surprising and laff-able to me is who duz ketch it. If ya ketch me drift.

Cause a lot a we Torontonians from the islands dont ketch it at all. We duz be like:

yea yea yeah Caribana again, I gine to the cottage boy
down the Lakeshore, in this sun, pun foolish TTC uh huh yea you look fa me.
Me, not me, I aint going nowhere to get shoot this year ?
How come the fetes so expensive?
Wha time the police gine shut down big people fete and get people vex,
A wonder what controversy they going have this year?
how many floats ya feel going mek it on the road this time before the police shut de gates
I remember when it used to be on University. Dat used to be good, not like now.
Is how come Caribana duz always dont have money and mek we look so bad year after year begging the Province fa funds? Dem Caribana people too tief-fy!
Boy dem Caribana events expensive nuh lie. I aint paying no 25 dollar to watch nuh poo poo pan playing nor nuh 40 dollar fa King and Queen an dem costume dont be even say nuttin? Is mad ya mad?
Me go down Lakeshore? I going Crop Over instead or I waiting til de parkway Labor day or I gine down Miami carnival. boy dat duz be too sweet.
how come them playing tunes from February carnival and Crop Over last year? Wha happen Crop Over music from Crop-Over this year cant reach here? Dem waiting on steam boat to bring the tunes? Man this is internet era, download man download. we should have plenty plenty new crop over tunes by now. Chupse.
Caribana chupse ya lie boy ribfest cant miss me this year! (that would be me)
Boy dem Trinidad people too confuse I aint want nuttin to do wid dat Caribana ting
Dat duz be we the island people in Toronto when Caribana come...well unless ya under 25 or ya looking fa woman or ya from Trinidad and then well you love off Caribana and every event it have can't miss you. (See I can make fun of the Trinis cause nun a dem dont read mi blog.)

But anyways like I said I laffin at how the fever duz ketch when Caribana week reach. Ad who duz ketch the feva if not the majority of we island people in Toronto?

Well boy that is a very good question and that is what is so funny.

Come Caribana week every lil store suddenly got in a Jamaican and Trini flag. Men dat would follow ya round their store the whole year and give ya dirty looks if ya come in to buy a bottle of water or a pack a gum suddenly got Caribana themed t-shirts in their window and two thousand island flags and hats and belts and rags and banadana and head band and wrist band and musse even underwear and anything wid a Vincy, Lucian, Grenadian, Trini, Bajan, Jamaican, Guyanaese, Dominican, or anybody else in the Caribbean colors item on their shelves and at the doors. And see dem there smiling, standing at the door, grinning, telling you come in and browse.

See cud only be some sort a sickness amm I mean fever mek dem fellas so change. So yes I duz laff my head off when I walk around downtown come Caribana time and watch dem people so change colors and try to mek money off we when I know how things duz be the rest a de year.

Me not me I stanning home an listening me 2008 Crop Over tune, 2007 long gone Toronto dj's. Dem fellas cant mek no money off me. But I will continue to watch and laff.

ps: Dont tell nuhbody but I feel one of them Vincy girls in dat Photo is mi sistren Kami. shhhhh dont tell nobody I say dat.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A lot to be said

Guyana Girl said typings difficult. Couldnt agree more right now but lets see if I remember anything about poetry. ok freestyle this

There’s a lot to be said
But saying things don’t make things better
A lot in my head
But some thoughts they need an editor
A lot on my plate
But that don’t mean my plate is full
A lot of that stuff
Boils down to simple bull
A lot on my mind but no one asks cause no ones curious
Just grieve and move on
Times wasting, actions spurious
Makes me furious
Or should but then don’t have the strength for anger
Don’t have the strength for laughter
Don’t have the strength for chatter
Don’t have the ….....It don’t matter
When we spiral in that viral
Twisting turning funnel
Wish then that we could pummel
A path, a royal rumble
Through this rubble, mumble, stumble
But I speak in strange tongues so translated sounds grumble, grumble
All a jumble in this jungle over running the ruins
So I fumble while I tumble really don’t know what I’m doing
Worth pursuing is nothing
No point this, not poignant
its pointless, no point gets
made, words disappoint its
a lesson in nonsense
full of sound & fury
told by a fool
who's melancholy and moody
there's a lot to be said
but maybe silence's better than something
a lot in my head
but signifying nothing

oh yea now i remember why I gave up poetry. yuck!

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Now I'm not a people person by any stretch of the imagination. I just am not. Prefer my solitude way too much for that.

Still I recognize the value of communication and of being able to reach out to your fellow man and pass on information, converse or just lend an ear without being an idiot about it. To be honest it really is something they should teach in schools cause so many people don't have a clue how to do this.

Yes some people have no idea how to successfully communicate with others without pissing them off. Lack of people skills you can say. Maybe its that they didn't learn, maybe they are just too set in their ways to change, sometimes sadly its a cultural thing but something as simple as communicating a small problem or concern can get blown up into some huge confrontation if you're not careful.

Hmmm maybe its fear.

Yesterday I was offended. Someone had something to say to me about a matter but the round about way they approached it really pissed me off. Now as much as I wanted to scream on them I remained calm and didn't respond with an "are you a complete ass?" comment cause ya know next thing I would be labelled an angry black man but still.

I mean I appreciated their concern, emphatized with it even but approach and presentation can make a world of difference when you're trying to get some info across to someone else. It was as simple a situation as a hey Jdid I noticed and you might not have noticed but blah blah blah
to which I would have listened and responded with a well thank you for letting me know and I'll see what I can do about that.

But instead it became a whole lotta long talk, a whole round the world thing where one reason was given for the conversation but the main reason for the conversation was hidden and then it was brought out in such a way that it seemed either I was being shown up or the person didn't believe that I would believe what they were saying.

This isn't the first time though. The culprit has done similar with their little passive aggressive speeches before. I take it all in stride but yesterday I was truly offended with way I was approached. Still am to be honest.

Still I chalk it up to one of those we're afraid of speaking our mind to the big black dude incidences. Either that or the person is a complete jackass.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Free Marion!

Cuhdear man. Ya know I used to like Marion Jones bad bad bad when she was competing. Tall, slim, athletic plus she was fairly good looking and man oh man was she fast. What was there not to like?

Then the bubble burst. Bruggadown! Steroid usage, give back medals, give back prize money, pariah, jail time. Cuhdear.

PhotobucketWell you make ya bed ya got to lie in it the old people would say but still.

Now she's in jail not because she use steroids mind you but because she lied about it. I feel fa she young kids and family.

So the other day I read that she write one letter to President Bush hoping he would commute her sentence. She's been in jail since March or February anyways so yea why not. Its a long shot cause hundreds if not thousands of people apply for a Presidential pardon so chances slim anyways.

But now I read that the president of the US track and field write a letter to Bush saying no dont even think about commuting her sentence. She must be made an example of.

Ya see me. I think that is utter nonsense on his part. The woman aint kill nuhbody. She aint pelt a big rock and lik in nuhbody head, she aint stab nuhbody, she aint shoot nuhbody wid big bazooka, ak-47s and klashnikoffs, she aint rob no bank, she aint steal nuh old woman purse, she aint kidnap nuhbody childrens, she aint do nuttin so. So why you would tell Bush to not even think about commuting the sentence?

Just be quiet and let the man decide fa he self if she worthy of commuting the sentence or not nuh. Chances are he wouldnt commute it anyways but you din have to open ya mout.

Look how many big hardback men do(ing) steroids and get(ting) away scotch free? And you want to set an example with this poor girl. Cuhdear man dat is harsh.

You think her being in jail makes any difference though? Give me a break!

Sometimes these people duz really get caught up in this thing. Its sports. She cheated and she lied. Disqualify her, take back the medals, embarrass her, cast her from the bosom of the athletic Cherubims and Seraphims that you feel must exist even but cuhdear ya mean the man cant even think bout commuting she jail sentence?

Plus its not like she get lock up for doing the actual steroids , she get lock up for perjury aka lying. Wha when it come to lying Bush should be able to emphasise wid dat shouldnt he?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Yes we can

Breaking News just coming to hand to the staff of Doan Mind Me. Remember we get the news here first so always stay tuned.

Democratic nominee and Presidential hopefully Barack Hussain Obama having sustained some flack over the past couple of weeks is now the subject of a US $1.7 Billion lawsuit filed in federal court today.

PhotobucketThe plaintiff none other than popular cartoon celebrity Bob The Builder whose occupation has been listed as construction contractor. In the suit filed today, Bob and his lawyers are suing Mr Obama and his campaign for misappropriating Bob's catch phrase "Yes we can" stating that the phrase is copyrighted by Bob and his construction company and that Mr. Obama has taken it without permission, using it extensively and illegally in his campaign slogans, speeches, buttons, shirts and other paraphernalia.

The suit also claims that Bob has suffered extensive grief, damages and financial misfortune due to the misappropriation of the phrase with some of Bob's erstwhile clients, mainly Republican farmer types, believing that Bob was openly endorsing Mr. Obama's campaign by allowing the use of the phrase, deserting Bob's business. They claim Obama's campaign would be the death of them all and stood to put the average farmer out of business.

Due to this belief Bob has lost a sizable chunk of his business and his once formidable empire has actually in recent weeks been close to bankruptcy with mainstays Dizzy the concrete mixer and Lofty the crane staging a wildcat walkout over bouncing cheques just two weeks ago and JJ of JJ's Parts Emporium refusing to allow Bob further credit at his parts depot. Meanwhile partner and possible love interest Wendy has conspicuously moved her trailer off the lot and down to the other end of town. None were available for comment to this Jdid reporter.

Obama representatives dismiss the suit saying that one of Bob's main clients, Farmer Pickles, a known Republican contributor and superdelegate was behind the whole controversy. Pickles who openly backs the GOP and harbored political aspirations is known to have run for Mayor of Bobsville in 2000 and for a vacant senate seat on the Republican ticket two years later losing in a controversial recount which saw the votes from Bob's machines disallowed once and for all.

PhotobucketPickles himself is definitely is quite the polemic character. No stranger to controversy he was in fact again embroiled in contentious situations twice last year. Once when acting on a tip off believed to be given by informer Spud the scarecrow INS representatives raided his farm searching for undocumented workers, none were found. Again just three months ago Pickles' prize pig Humpty disappeared mysteriously the day before the Johnson family cookout setting in stage a county wide expensive pig hunt including the use of police helicopters and tracking dogs. No signs of Humpty were ever found. Said Nate Johnson aka Cedric the Entertainer "I don't know nuttin about no Humpty Dumpty but dem ribs from that pig that we "found" up on the road there sure was good. oooh weee! Aint that right Lil Bow Wow?"

After numerous attempts our Jdid reporter finally got a chance to speak to Bob a few minutes ago. "I've got nothing against that Muslim fella Mr Obama" said Bob who curiously refuses to give his last name for the record "but I just don't want him using my catch phrase. He's got the kiddies confused and unless he settles this suit and refrains fro using my catch phrase I'm going to use my considerable influence with the 2-5 year olds to ensure he doesn't win this election. oh and Wendy come back I miss you something awesome fierce."

PhotobucketOther mainstream media have focused on Jesse "The nutcracker" Jackson's recent comments on Obama and the controversial New Yorker Magazine cover portraying Obama as a Muslim and his wife as a black revolutionary complete with urban hairstyle.

This story threatens to be bigger than both those and the Rev Wright story if you ask us.

Speaking to other Obama representatives, in Queens New York today, off the record they said Bob's case doesn't have a leg to stand on and Bob's just trying to get his 15 minutes of fame. "If anyone had the right to be upset and suing it should have been Q-Tip and Phife! Dats words to big bird son!" For the uninitiated Q-Tip and Phife were part of a defunct hip hop group called A Tribe called Quest whose 1990 underground hit Can I kick it? made use of the phrase "yes we can" prominently.

We at Doan Mind Me await the fallout from this suit but it brings to mind another suit filed by another then unknown cartoon character back in 1996 against presidential hopeful Bob Dole for misappropriating his moniker Sponge Bob Square Pants. We all know how that one turned out. Sponge Bob is now a cartoon icon and Bob Dole well lets say he's seen better days.

Reporting live from Doan Mind me this is intrepid reporter Jdid getting down to the facts and saying Doan Mind me I duz talk nuff foolishness.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Airline meals

Remember one time we used to laff at those people who walked on the airplane with big set a food in their carry on?

Look at dem people though! Walking around with big, big, heavy bag of roti and rice n peas and meat and whatsnot. They aint have no culture or class though? They dont know the plane duz provide meals included in ya fare? Man duh mek muh shame!

Secretly I think we were jealous though. How dare them people come on the plane with the mouth watering, sweet smelling food. Their home cooked meal vs we with what the airplane people tried to pass off as a proper meal which was usually some mis-identified thing in a plastic plate that they claim is chicken or beef somebody or the other and we sitting there wondering if one of them CSI fellas could do a few tests to confirm if it is what de air hostess say it is before we eat any of it.

Yea boy those were the days. Free drinks and chips and peanuts and thing so too. Well not free cause it was in the price of the ticket but is free cause ya din have to pull out nuh extra money out ya pocket and well ya already pay for it so might as well eat it and enjoy amm I mean experience it.

Not so anymore is it? Now its every manjack bring his own food or pay an arm and a leg for a dry up sandwich on Air Canada and some of them other planes (i believe you still get food provided on transatlantic flights by the British carriers).

Is cheaper to buy at the airport or bring in if ya allowed than spending 6 or 7 dollars on the plane for something that should only cost about $2.50 when it was fresh 5 hours ago.

So now everybody walking with food in dey bag or hand. Even at the airport in Barbados, I went to buy food to eat there in the departure lounge and the fellas wrap it up nice and special like I was taking it on the plane. Dey catering to we needs.

Is a new day boy, new day, new things. Cant laff at nobody carrying food onto the plane no more. Rather they can laff at you.

Wait you aint bring nuh food on this flight and had to buy a 6 dollar dry up sandwich on the plane? whaaaaa, ha ha ha. Boy wha wrong wid you? You aint have no class or culture or common sense? You dont know ya duz pay extra for the plane food? Man ya mek muh shame!

Thursday, July 10, 2008


Food is food is food!

Don't you hate it when a restaurant that has in the past had reliably good quality tasty food suddenly isn't so good anymore?

I mean I wouldn't say I'm extremely picky with restaurants, I'll give most spots a try at least once as long as they look clean and the menu appeals to me. Its the getting me to go back there thing that will be an issue cause if you aint up to par I don't see why I should go back and spend my hard earned money with you.

And with that mindframe it means that aside from experimenting to find new spots that could be good there are very few spots that get my repeat business.

So its sad when one of them has to get cut from my list. Could be a number of things. Cooks change, menu change, size of meal change, price gone up and value for buck just aint what it used to be. But the one that really gets me is when the meal quality changes for the worse.

Woe is me

Today I had a roti from a place that I haven't been to frequently in the past few years but I always thought was one of the better roti places downtown. Dismal! I think its the fact that the staff changed and the old time roti makers aint around no more, instead replaced by cooks that clearly dont know how to make proper roti.

Shame shame shame

Monday, July 07, 2008

Welcome back

I'm back. Didnt go straight back to work after I returned home. Took a few days off. Friday decided to go to the mall and whilst there I ended up in Walmart not one of my favorite stores cause its always crazy busy and I aint that big a crowd person.

Anyway as I'm walking through Walmart I end up in the shoe section for no apparent reason. Cutting down one aisle I see this old Indian man calling over to me. Being the ever friendly Jdid plus what can I say I'm a bit slower and disoriented these days all things being equal, I walked over. He was trying to separate a pair of shoes which were connected with a length of slim elastic like black cord. The knot was really tiny and he was trying to alternatively pick out the knot or pop it.

He handed me the shoes and asked for help. Me being my dotish self attempted to assist but my finger nails and fingers in general arent that good at knot picking and since I lost like 20pounds in the past month I too weak to be popping elastic cords. I try for a minute and nuttin a work so I handed back to the shoes to him, said sorry and made ready to step.

Man look at me an ask me for size 11s.

Thats when I clued in. He wasnt asking me to help him as a kind Samaritan walking through the aisles of Walmart he thought I actually worked there. Wha de so n so!

Is not like I was wearing Walmart colors either unless they start wearing black t-shirts with orange splashes on them.

Man I look pun the shelf pull off a pair a shoes plop them in he hand, chupse and walk off. After I left I assume he probably reported my horrible customer service to the manager.

ps: thanks to all you guys who sent condolences. much appreciated.