Saturday, January 29, 2005

Somebody spiked my Jello Pudding Pops

Ya lie! Not Dr Huxtable! Dr Huxtable would never do that. Noooooooooo!

Seriously I'm in shock at the news that Bill Cosby admitted to feeling up the girl. O well sorry I don't know if he feel she up or not cause I wasn't there so I shouldn't sensationalize the story but the revelation that something did happen between him and the young lady was traumatizing for me. I also am not saying whether it was mutual or not, that is yet to be determined but Cosby's revelation that he did have some sort of sexual contact with her left me seriously shook.

Ok I mean yea this isn't the first time we heard about Cosby's little escapades before. We had heard about Autumn Jackson, his outside daughter, trying to extort poor old Bill a few years back because he had haddddddddddddd an affair or as Cosby called it a "rendezvous" with her mom in the 70s but that was ancient history. It was the 70s everybody was a player back then. lol. Cosby been big pimpin oh wait a minute he doesn't like ebonics so I should say he was living in a manner of finery and opulent wealth befitting a man of his status. Naa forget that nonsense! Bill been pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin (If ya don't know ask somebody who watched How High) YEAHHHH!

Oh folks are going to have a field day on this one and I don't intend to be left out.

Now Bill, far be it for me to lay judgment on you BUT you got on your high horse earlier this year and had loads of talk for poor black folk. Yes I actually felt like you were attacking people I know personally although I know I am not any of those things you mentioned. Still seeing as where I am right now, I'm probably still like about one paycheck from the poverty I think I may have fit somewhere into your big all encompassing tirade. Oh ya didn't think I was going to forget what you said now did you?

Now I'm not claiming no ghetto, not claiming to be middle class either, and I'm not saying you were all wrong with your comments because you had some valid points and I commend you for mentioning them BUT the way you came off you know you do know that you were guilty of stereotyping a large portion of the race. You painted ALL black folk, who live in certain areas, or lack a certain wealth, or speak a certain way with the same broad brush. Shame on you Bill! You didn't say SOME try, or some speak good English or some come from decent homes, or are trying to get an education in a poor education system, or some are hardworking decent citizens or some are trying to stop the negative cycles or some are trying to better themselves but need the help of the brothers and sisters like you who've made it. Uh uh! NOOOO you decided you were going on a rampage. Why make it seem as if there was any good at all in poor black folk? Wouldn't suit your purpose would it? You said all the young girls have multiple baby fathers, don't know who the child's father is (been watching a lot of Maury in your spare time Bill?), give their kids ghetto names (I'm with you on that one by the way), the men are beating up the women and in general everyone 'be ebonically speaking', cant dress, wear hats backwards and oh no I know you didn't have the nerve to say this? And I quote "the lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal."

Oh no Bill say it aint so? Tell me you didn't say that. Oh hell no! Well Mr Cosby from my perspective it doesn't look like your upper class economic ass is holding up your end of the deal either. Didn't W.E.B Dubois say that you talented tenth folk are supposed to pull the race up? Those lower economic folks cant pull from the bottom now can they? So while every one of us poor shiftless Negroes were on the corner, drinking forties, selling drugs, being promiscuous and wilding out not holding up our end of the deal you were up in the mansion setting this wonderful example for us by feeling on some booty. Some young booty. What are you like the R.Kelly of your generation?

If you want to be the moral spokesman for the race you really shouldn't go about it like this. Have we learned nothing from Jesse?

I mean seriously Bill talk to me. Come on now. You're 67, you're probably barely able to chew your jello pudding properly. Why you be messing around with a woman less than half your age? Ya like dem young fresh and green? She could kill you man. You could have a Fred G Sandford type heart attack up in here just by even thinking about trying to get with her. We could wake up to read that you rolled your eyes (like in the commercials) and uttered your last words "You remind me of my Jello pudding pops!"

Just because your name is Bill doesn't mean you have to try to be like Clinton.

And I don't know if she's black or white or whatever but can I just say this. Have we as a race learned nothing from Kobe? I mean Bill now you going to have to go out and buy a 4 million dollar ring for Camille and hold a press conference and generally just lose credibility. And no one listens to you once you lose credibility. Ask Jeese. And all because you copped a feel. Oh man!

Seriously though I'm in shock. Our beloved Dr Huxtable accused of sexual contact with this young lady. One of the coolest black dads ever. The coolest dad on TV. Its just not what I imagined. I mean did ya cheat on Claire too, Heathcliffe? No wonder Theo cant hold a steady job. Everytime I turn on TV he's on some other short lived series. Poor Rudy be all up Chingy's video nowadays half nekkid and oh yea Denise did that one movie where she was buck nekkid too and well I aint even going to talk about Vanessa. Its too painful man. What happened to our perfect black family?

But don't worry son, I got you on this one. We're going to go for the spiked pudding pop defense.

And if that doesn't work I think I'm going to need therapy.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Passing me by

Part 3 in the relationship series

Now there she goes again, the dopest Ethiopian
And now the world around me be gets movin in slow motion
when-ever she happens to walk by - why does the apple of my eye
overlook and disregard my feelings no matter how much I try?
Wait, no, I did not really pursue my little princess with persistence;
And I was so low-key that she was unaware of my existence
From a distance I desired, secretly admired her;
Wired her a letter to get her, and it went:
My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well
Now let me tell you about the feelings I have for you
When I try, or make some sort of attempt, I symp
Damn I wish I wasn't such a wimp!
'Cause then I would let you know that I love you so
And if I was your man then I would be true
The only lying I would do is in the bed with you
Then I signed sincerely the one who loves you dearly, PS love me tender
The letter came back three days later: Return to Sender

Pharcyde - She keeps on passin me by

Let me spin you a story about a younger Jdid. I aint gonna front I was motivated by this story that Xquizzyt1 told last week. Think I mentioned it before. Ok, I'm gonna share some real personal ish which is a once in a lifetime thing (cause like how often does that ever happen) so I'm going to my sensitive and vulnerable place right now. :-)

Once upon a time, (not long ago where people wore pajamas and lived life slow, where laws were stern and justice stood and people were behaving like they are too good) long long ago in a land far far away there was this girl lets call her Jane (Jane! Haircut like Anita Baker looked her up and down said ...) who Jdid was madly in love with. Wait no I wouldn't say madly in love, that's so cliche, but lets just say I had strong feelings for her.

Jdid was like somewhere between 17 and 21, cant remember the exact age at the time, not as wise in the world as he is today. A cool cat still, nice to the ladies but far from the suave, dashing superstar cassanova, playa pimp, gallist, international dan gorgan he is today. Yea yeah! Yo did I mention good looking? Yo if he had a quarter for everytime a girl had commented on his natural rugged handsomeness well actually he'd still be four quarters short of a dollar. ha ha ha. And if you believe that dashing cassanova business I have a bridge to sell ya. No straight up Jdid was the average guy maybe even slightly below average back then, not completely clueless but a bit dense at some points nevertheless.

Anyway Jdid had known Jane for awhile maybe a few years. I wont say how they met or anything like that in case anybody who might decipher this story is reading this. Is it too late to add a disclaimer saying that all characters are fictional and any resemblance to real people is purely coincidence? Oh well as I was saying Jane and Jdid got along rather well. They were friends.

YOU ! YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEEED, BUT YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND, YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND OH BABY YOU! Sorry about that I was just releasing my inner Biz Markie. Things could get ugly up in here if ya kno what I mean!

Where was I? Oh yea they were friends (YOU ! YOU GOT WHAT I ..umm sorry couldnt help it). Good friends well at least in Jdid's mind and probably in Jane's mind too. They hung out, they chatted on the phone a lot, shared some deep thoughts, personal thoughts. They connected, they were cool like that.

How the friendship had started I don't remember. Where Jdid started having deeper feelings than friendship towards Jane I also cant remember. However I believe it was well into the friendship before he realized hey ya know what I knew Jane was cool but wait a minute am I starting to 'like' her? Maybe I should try to make her more than just a friend.

Now if Jdid knew now what Jdid knew then he'd probably had have this conversation with himself.

Present Day Jdid: "Whoa slow down son. You want to do what? You want to change her status from friend to more than friend?"
Back in the day Jdid: "Yep that's what I'm thinking. mos def! Fa sheezy!"
PJdid: "Yo kid, I know that sounds really easy in theory, but do you realize that that's one of the most difficult operations known to man?"
BJdid: "What chu talkin bout Willis?(the thrill is gone the black Frank White is here to ignite throw....)"
PJdid: "Fa real son, I aint trying to play you, we talking about doing something with a degree of difficulty of like very difficult to nigh on impossible."
BJdid: "Yo man I know you playing with me now. Whatever man! chupse! Whatever! Oh ha ha ha yo you got me good. You had me going for a minute there."
PJdid: " Yo kid I'm not playing, Do you not realize that the switch from friend to more than friend is probably one of the most dangerous missions every attempted by any man anywhere in any age of this universe? The pavements are littered with the corpses of good men who've tried. Many have tried and few have ever succeeded"
BJdid: " Please! Maybe you aint got the skills man but I'm telling you for me this is going to be a cakewalk. Word is born!"
PJdid: "Seriously man, don't try to diss me. Listen to me, abort the mission, walk away now, don't do it, I'm telling you this could get ugly. Craig Mack ugly, Shabba Ranks ugly knowwhatimsaying."
BJdid: " Uh huh! Yea! Ok right! Man no matter what you say I am confident this is going to work. Why would it not work? I mean check it out. We're friends right?"
PJdid: "Alright! True!"
BJdid: "And women are always saying they want their man to be their friend too right? They want a man who understands them and all that."
PJdid: "true!"
BJdid: "Right so dude, I'm that man. We friends already. Half the battles already won. The foundations already been laid. I got it made. (I’m kinda spoiled cuz everything I want I got made, I wanted gear--got everything from cotton to suede)
PJdid: "ummm its not that simple son."
BJdid: "Man you mekkin bare sport den! What do you mean its not that simple? We make a nice couple you know this right? We are already friends which means on some level she likes me right? Yo I'm making that move."
PJdid: " In theory, you are right but you missing some important stuff guy."
Bjdid: "ummm what stuff?"
PJdid: "Maybe she just sees you as a friend, a confidant and doesn't see you as a potential boyfriend. Maybe she doesn't see you the way you see her."
BJdid: Get outta here! How could she not be thinking the same way as me? We friends. We've shared some deep personal ish. I know her, she knows me, we tight like that. She's just playing the role waiting for a brother to step up his game and make the first move. I'm a do this like Brutus!"
PJdid: "Ummm alrighty, if you say so but umm have you considered the possibility that all you will ever be to her is a friend? Trust me guy, been there, the transition aint easy. A woman might not see a male friend as a potential boyfriend regardless of how close he is. Yes you guys got a nice vibe but still, yo this mission (flipped back got into a fighting position) has a 99.5% chance of failure."
BJdid: "yea ok guy, whatever, man. "
PJdid: "Listen to me youngster. Think about it. Lets flip the script. Aren't there girls who you talk to who could possibly like you more than you like them or like you in a way that you don't like them?"
BJdid: "yea true but so? Its not the same thing here man. We tight, we like this, I'm feeling a connection. Trust me I'm right."
PJdid: " Ok I cant convince you it seems. I tried but you're hellbent on this so do what ya wanta but don't say I didn't try to set you straight."
BJdid: "Chupse! Yea you old cats think you know it all don't you? Yea whatever guy!"
PJdid: "oh its like that? Ok you a stubborn lil knuckhead aint you, oh well, things aint change I guess. Ha ha so I guess you'll have to learn the hard way. Hardears ya wun hear, own way ya gine feel"

But back in the day Jdid wasn't listening. He was on a mission

(Threw on the trench, kissed the girl good-bye
She said, special ed, don’t go, you might die
Started cryin and huggin on me, so I shut her
I said, sorry baby, but I gotta do what I gotta) Special Ed - the Mission

Actually that conversation never took place but even if it did he probably wouldn't have listened. He was hell bent on making that move.

Still something slowed him down so he waited a bit. He decided to analyze everything over again being still sort of a cautious yout, look for hints.(I haven't gone as far as asking if I could get with her, I just play it by ear and hope she gets the picture, I'm shootin for her heart, got my finger on the trigger, she could be my broad, and I could be her....)

He was certain he was right but what if he wasn't? What if as Pharcyde said " I guess a twinkle in her eye is just a twinkle in her eye" Plus he had a little fear thing going on with making that move cause he really really valued the friendship (which was why he wanted something more) with her and what if there was a tiny minute chance he was wrong? What if this blew up in his face and he lost not only the chance to be more than friends but he also lost the friendship?

Whoa. Pretty hard to imagine and to deal with. So he thought positive thoughts.

Now the conversation that didn't happen above wasn't enough to stop him, he never thought about the validity of Jane seeing him as only a good friend, close though they may have been, but this thought of risking the friendship stopped him stone cold in his tracks like the sight of Medusa's locks. (I drink moet with Medusa gave her shotguns in hell). Scary.

So, (to speed up the story) he held off because he was afraid of risking the loss of the friendship although deep down he knew he wanted more.

Time passed slowly, Jdid moved away but he still remained pretty close to Jane, in fact nothing really changed and Jdid still retained his feelings but didn't act. Fear of losing the friendship had left him paralyzed I guess.

But Jdid being Jdid, the man whose leading personality trait is possibly he needs to know straight up no B.S, finally one day out of the blue regained the courage that had somehow deserted him somewhere along the line. He said nothing ventured nothing gained and he did it. With trembling hands, Jdid wrote this long, long, long rambling letter (something like this rambling blog) to Jane (of course it was rambling when do I not ramble?) saying basically how much he liked her as a friend, how he felt about her and how he wanted to be more than friends. Sigh! Finally! Man that was a load off his chest. Exhale!

Oh yea he could have actually called her but seeing as how he saw himself as more articulate (meaning over longwinded) with the written word he wrote.

And so as the clock ticked and the days went by he waited anxiously for a response.

And it came (Punks jump up to get beat down). Jane wrote him back. While flattered she was not interested in Jdid the way he was in her. Cuhdear, poor fella! If only Present day Jdid (PJdid) could have warned him and he would have listened. So Jdid was crushed, devastated, hurt, embarrassed that he had poured out his soul in the letter, ashamed that he had failed in his quest, he felt like an idiot, a moron, a loser, it hit him deep in his core. Plus worse than not getting the relationship he wanted he probably ruined the much valued friendship too. Damn! Why didn't he just keep his mouth shut?

Anyway he moved on. He dealt with it in his own way. Subconsciously he threw himself with as much fervor as possible into his work and tried not to think about it much. But three months down the line he looked at the letter again and it still hurt but he dealt with his pain somehow (its too painful to remember sniff sniff) and he put his whole Jane and Jdid as a couple idea to rest.

Moral of the story. The friends to more than friends thing doesn't work in 90% of situations because one party just doesn't see the other party as more than a friend.

Addendum: As for the friendship lost. Well as mentioned Jdid really valued the friendship but was it lost forever? The good news is that Jdid decided again hey nothing ventured nothing gained so he took the initiative in trying to see if he could revive the friendship. He had moved on and realized it would never be but he still thought that the friendship was worth holding onto so he reached out to Jane and after a few tentative steps the friendship was rekindled. Its still going pretty strong actually. Oh yea and Jdid moved on to become an ol gallist, man ave nuff gal dem! yea yeah! The End

BJdid: "yeah right!"
PJdid: " hey let me tell the story the way I want to."
BJdid: " Oh whatever , ol gallist my foot! ya know I never thought you'd be senile so young."
PJdid: " Oh ya full a jokes (but ya name aint Flex). you is a stupid yout. If ya had a listen ta me. chupse! I told you it wouldn't work, you need two good slaps cross you head ya kno cause if you had listened to me in the first place ......"
BJdid: "And ya tell the story all wrong too ya kno man. chupse I thought you did a real storyteller fa true. I mean you forget dates and details and put in a lot a foolish rap lyrics all bout the place. ya feel the people wanta read all dat gangsta gangsta talk. man you like you is a bare storyteller friend den. Yo let me tell the people MY story. Let we begin. Once upon a time dere was this girl name Shaquita....."
PJdid: "Yo you couldnt come up with a better name than that? Got homegirl sounding like a ghetto banana."
BJdid: "Man you had you turn keep quiet now. Looka once upon a time this girl Shaquita did like me real bad den is juss she din realize it yet. But I real smart so I figure she did like me before she realize an I did feel a ways bout she too so......."
PJdid: "Oh brother, I can't deal wid dese young cats no more. I'm outta here" sigh!

The End fa real this time.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Men: Obsolete by 2050

If they aren't already obsolete already. Oh wait a minute what am I talking about? Actually I guess I should really title this blog have men adjusted to their role in relationships and what exactly is that role but the obsolete title is more catchy and a purely jdid way to look at it?

Well this is part two in my relationship series. Its the Luv Dr J bringing you all the finest in relationship material. ha ha ha. Whatever! This one is just to get everyone especially the guys to think. I'm thinking of making this relationship thing a part 4 series though because I realized there was one other thing I wanted to talk about and then I found a half finished blog from earlier this month on that exact topic. Maybe I'll post that next week but you can the first part of the relationship stuff here.

So where to start this segment? Well I wasn't sure how to tackle this but then I figured just come up with something so here goes.

I had a dream. Nope not one like Martin Luther King or those types of guys. Let me weave a story of the future, an alternate history type story if you will. Picture this: Have you seen the movie Matrix? Well imagine the world of the matrix except that instead of computers ruling the earth women rule (way way scarier aint it?). The men have been relegated to a matrix like existence, somehow kept apart from reality while their bodies are stored somewhere hooked up to machines (like in the matrix) just to be used for their biological materials for reproduction purposes. Ok if this actually happens I hope nobody like Morpheus wake me up cause I don't want to live in no Zion like underground city if is wid bare men. Oh helll no!

Anyway so why did this occur? Well somewhere along the line men failed to adapt and women realized that they were obsolete. How did that happen? Well somewhere in the late 20th century women realized that the only thing they really needed men around for was reproductive purposes and it was starting to be not worth the effort dealing with them in the real world for that purpose alone so they started planning (and ya know women duz plan good and can keep secrets from men even better) and a few decades later, 2050 to be exact, with men still totally oblivious to the planning and the secret underground female societies, they put their plan in motion. The men were caught napping (some literally) and were ambushed, herded into special areas and removed from the real world equation.

Whoa! Hold on son, how did things get to this point? Why would the women want to do that? Ok, to explain I got to give some history so lets go back. Way back, Back into time. Flash back lets say to anywhere before 30 to 50 years from our present. To a time when women actually needed men. Men wore pants, women wore skirts. Men lifted things, women cooked. Ah a kinder gentler time that some may refer to as the good old days. Men were providers, hunter gatherer types, strong personalities, fixing stuff, bringing home the bacon and sometimes the whole pig too. Women were defined by their men. Men dominated (we spoke about another form of domination in part one). Women lived to serve men or at least had little choice but to serve them since they were dependent on men in large part for their welfare and survival. Men did the heavy lifting, men governed, men controlled the households, men had the jobs, basically men ran things things no run men! You get my drift?

Women were 'barefoot and pregnant', very few job options available to them and very few career opportunities. A "good" woman knew her place. Her main goal, which was impressed on her from the time she was a child, was to attract a good man and get married. After that she stayed home and reared the kids (should I push this point anymore or will I soon be receiving death treats from feminists?). She was faithful, loyal and she knew her place. (Feel free to send the hate mail now yall)

Ok Basically I said all that to paint the picture that it was truly a man's world, women were subservient to men and hence as the dominant sex men took much about women for granted. Women were basically trophies, child bearers and rearers, cooks, property and how could I forget sex symbols.

Ok lets fast forward to the present. (don't ever say I don't take you guys anywhere cause so far ya been to the future, de past and back to the present. lawd dat is nuff airmiles ya kno!) Well somewhere between that past and this present women made gains. Some say it started when all the men went fighting the last two world wars. The lack of men to do jobs in the home countries opened up the way for the women to enter the workforce. Add to that, better schooling for women, the opportunity to pursue careers, the invention of the pill and other reliable forms of contraceptives, the rights to vote, and reform regarding discrimination and the granting of most (I said most not all cause I'm not 100% sure if all is true) rights to women etc and whoa rather quickly that male dominion was eroded as women gained independence and power. Hurray!

Women in the workplace, women as businesswomen, entrepreneurs, politicians, leaders. Whoa slow down son!

And as these changes occurred the relationships between men and women changed. No longer are women at home rearing kids, cooking dinner and waiting for men to bring home the bacon. More women were less dependent on men, they could now survive without a man. Gasp! Say it aint so!

So the role of having to be the sole breadwinner disappeared from the man's portfolio. Women had more choice now. No longer were they reared just to be mothers and wives they could be pretty much anything they damn well pleased. Ah sweet Freedom!

Ok so where do the men fit in? Women's roles have changed in society. (whether for better or worse is a another blog which I wont be writing anytime soon so feel free to run with that topic) Their roles have been enhanced, they now do more right? What about men?

Well men seem to be slow to adjust with that major breadwinner thing gone. What else do these men bring to the table? Men now needed to do stuff like cater to women's emotional needs more than they previously had. Wait a minute did I say emotional needs? What tha????? Most men are clueless to those words emotional needs? (just for the record I personally am not clueless but sometimes it suits me to ignore them. Yes I live dangerously. ha ha ha) So men have struggled to actually fill that role with what most women would probably agree was a poor success rate? That is the men who actually try. Some still haven't grasped that or see no need to.

And why did women need men around besides for emotional needs. Ok well there was a companionship issue, there was the to safety issue (ironically its usually safety from other men), the sex thing and sometimes just because they are so cute and make good accessories and make other women jealous. Hey dudes do that too.

Anyway men still struggled with his new role. Ummm ammm, what exactly was his motivation beyond some need to procreate and possibly physical pleasure and companionship. Ummm and how exactly was he to deal with these now equal women? ummmm

The women were getting a bit peeved with the non-ability of the men to adjust. The men were still trying to impose some of the old rules but now the women to paraphrase Mc Lyte were 'just not having it'. The men were supposed to take on new roles, view the women as equals, assist in running the household, help with the kids , do that emotional needs thing, and at least play the role of father to their offspring. Did I mention some of us have sort of abdicated that role as well?

Oh oh! So for years the women 'tolerated' the men. It was sort of like well they are becoming obsolete but what choice do we have. Like when your old car or computer is giving trouble but you don't have the money for a new one. You tolerate the situation. Yea Women need men around for a few things they said but to be honest the started thinking that men were more trouble than they're worth. Wait a minute! Suddenly it struck them! They did a cost benefit analysis. What is it the men are bringing to the table these days anyways? Ok they aren't really succeeding with that emotional stuff, hmmm. They are either clueless, don't care or try but fail miserably. Imbeciles! Women said hey I can pay my own damn bills. hmmm. They said men aren't really stepping up to the plate with the child rearing. hmmm. They were only romantic around valentines. hmmmm. Sex? Hmmm we have toys in abundance out there to take the man's place. Remind us again why do we still put up with them they said?

They concluded that men have not adapted. Men have outlived their purpose. Men haven't stepped up their game to cater to their needs they figured. We need to restructure they said. We need to streamline this human race, trim down, cut some fat, look at the bottom line. Heads need to roll!

And the men continued to exist, la la la, complaining about how demanding and 'confuse' today's women are, and reminiscing on the good old days, but not really thinking about why times were changing and what was changing and or pondering whether there was some adjustment to be made on their part. Especially since any adjustments would make them look 'soft', not as macho as before and they would possibly lose face. They knew women had changed but the popular thoughts without any sort of serious analysis were that women had changed for the worse especially when compared to their mother's generation and it was women's fault that things were different so it was the women's duty to solve things.

Men were still completely oblivious to the fact that the women had come to the conclusion that they (the men) had started to outlived most of their usefulness and while they still needed to be kept around to keep the race going there really wasn't anything special men were bringing to the table. What was the male's role in the relationship? Why hadn't he adjusted over the years as the times had changed? And hence in 2050 women saw an opportunity to make a move so they declared the male to be obsolete and removed him from reality.

The End.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

What's the scenario?

Relationship series will continue tomorrow :-)

Monday I did this seminar. It was one of those management skills type things where they get you to change your thinking in certain situations or show you how to deal with people or listen or handle meetings and that sort of thing. I've taken a few before and find them interesting sometimes but while helpful in certain situations I always feel like the overall plot is somewhat to brainwash me into becoming a more subservient employee. I feel the same way about some professional organizations rules too.

I signed up for a whole bunch this winter and the one I had on Monday dealt with conflict and it actually came in handy at work yesterday. My wife used to say that I like conflict, not that we argue much but actually from this course I realized its probably because we deal with conflict in slightly umm make that vastly different ways. Hey conflict is all around us, its a part of life so you got to deal with it and most likely you deal with it differently in different situations.

Oh that's the other thing about the courses I find interesting. The types of skills you learn can be applied to personal life. I usually go to the courses learn some skill then come home and try it out first on the wife. shhhh she nuh know yet. Yes I'm evil but hey she's trying to kill me so I am allowed some defense. ha ha ha

Anyway enough about that. In this seminar we did a series of questions where they gave us a possible scenario and multiple choice options for how we would respond. We were then asked to rank the options on a scale of most likely response to least likely. This one caught my attention so I felt to share.

Your child borrows your car Friday night and brings it back way past curfew. He is supposed to borrow it again Saturday to go to the basketball game . What do you do?

Option (a) Not lend him the car for Saturday
(b) Tell him you were worried but you are glad he's home safe and he can indeed borrow it on Saturday.
(c) Tell him since he was late he has to put gas in the car and wash it Saturday morning and then he can have it Saturday night
(d) Chalk it up to kids being kids and let him have it on Saturday
(e) Ask for an explanation, if its a good one allow him to have the car on Saturday if not he cant have it but we'll explore other options for getting to the game Saturday.

Ok now first thing I notice was clearly this question was not written bearing in mind the average west indian parent because no where was there an option (f) which would have been 'Tek way the car keys, give him a good cut tail or as my trini friends might say planass (I learn dat word yesterda) and tell him something like 'oh I understand, ya start wearing long pants an so you feel you big now? Alright well if you suh big guh an find ya own car den cause ya aint gettin this wun agin. In fact I got news fa you ya aint gine nuhwhere tamorra night and plus ya gine eitha gotta find busfare or be slappin tar (walking) come Monday too'

You guys follow me? I mean F is a justifiable option in a West Indian household. I mean seriously I felt squeezed with the options they gave me. The only two viable options I had were a and e and I figured if I go wid e I'm just setting up muhself fa lies and the possibility that the chile gine feel them smart an cud get away with it again so thinking that well especially if it was real late and I real vex yea definitely I'm going with a.

Anyway I chose a and the people in my group look at muh like I is a madman or sum sorta bad abusive parent sort that will lead my children to have to seek therapy in the future. All them wid de lil niceness thing going on choosing things like chalk it u ta kids being kids and tell him you were worried and thing so. Yes I was worried and that is why ya gettin a good planass cause you putting more grey hairs in my head for no apparent reason. :-)

Anyway I chalked it up to both personal and cultural differences but it was good fun and anyways it actually helped my overall ranking on the scenarios. ha ha ha

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


Well today I'm starting my three part relationship series. Yep ya heard it right! :-) I turning psychologist and romance doctor combined. New alternative career. You can call me the love doctor Jdid. Dat is LOVE doctor not SEX doctor so don't come to me wid no freaky stories about how you do dis, dat an the third. La la la, I aint listening cause I aint wanta hear nun a dat! Keep that to yourselves. Its LOVE doctor get it right ha ha. Anybody know that oldies song that goes 'I am your doctor love, call my number any time' or y'all too young fa that?

Just kidding though, romance doctor, love doctor or sex doctor I aint. Anyway by claiming that this is a three part series I'm putting some pressure on myself to come up with three blogs this week on relationships. Lets see if I can live up to it.

No but seriously I cant claim to have any expertise in these areas of relationships between the sexes so if you see something here and it influence you somehow don't come back looking to blame me or beat me up because you were stupid enough to listen to me. Read the name of the blog before you take me serious. Oh and look just for the record if ya got gay issues ya on ya own cause I aint know nuttin atall atall bout dat so brek fa yaself. Anyway to be honest its just I had a few things I felt like saying and sharing, mainly observations on relationships so I'm not really offering any solutions just talking out loud. Actually I'm more trying to solicit responses and provoke some comments as well hoping that my foolish self will learn a thing or two.

But enough dilly dallying. Today I'm talking about possessiveness.

Now, in some relationships certain parties are very possessive of their partner. It can either be the man or the woman who is possessive but since I'm a man I am going to struggle with it sort of from the man's point of view. Of course the woman's point of view may not be dissimilar but the ladies will have to tell me that.

Anyway I was listening to someone tell me about her possessive boyfriend's actions last week which really embarrassed her and I thought to myself what would possess a man to act in the manner he did. Why do some guys act so crazy over their ladies?

I don't think I really have an answer and the wife said since I am the complete opposite of possessive its unlikely I would ever understand (cheese on bread! Some women ya juss cann please nuh. chupse!) but I still find the behavior to be worth speaking of.

Well lets start by looking at symptoms of the behavior. Stuff like guys wanting to battle other men for just looking at their ladies, stuff like checking their woman's cell phone or not even wanting her to talk to her male workmates or male friends. Issuing directives to their ladies, checking up on their whereabouts at all times. That's just the start because it might then lead to behavior like restricting her movements, she cant go out with friends, cant go certain places etc then possibly onto battery and abuse to keep her "in line" and in the ultimate cases murdering the women due to some misguided thought process where the logic is if I cant have you no-one else can. What possesses men to be so possessive?

(Sitting in chair with lounge jacket while smoking pipe)To me the possessive behavior may stem from jealousy or it might signal one party's need to be dominant over the other party and possibly a certain deep seeded fear that the other party will leave them on a whim. It also could signal some conscious or unconscious lack of trust in the other partner. It could also infer that the possessive partner may have some sort of inferiority complex or it may infer that the possessive partner sees the other person as his/her property. Regardless of you view it, I'm thinking that the relationship just might not really be on stable ground.

Now ignoring the domination trait and the viewing your partner as property issue lets look at the other reasons I discussed. Well I'm no psychiatrist but everything else I mentioned seems to stem from one root which is some sort of fear. One party is afraid that the admirers of the other party given a chance will swoop in and take his/her partner away or is afraid that the object of their possessiveness is being untruthful in the relationship or that given the chance to be unfaithful the other party will act upon it. Now why this happens who can say? Maybe previous relationship experience where this happened or hearing of similar things happen in friend's relationships led to this thought process or maybe its just part of the person's psyche due to their environment or upbringing. I studied the sciences not this sort of stuff so I don't have concrete answers. However if some outfit wants to pay me to conduct a study hey I'm down.

Now I don't have time for the domination and seeing partners as property thing (this blog too long as is) cause we all know that nuff people mostly men got issues with dat but one other fascinating thing is that sometimes the partner actually likes the possessive behavior to some extents. Does it make them feel more wanted, more loved, more needed? Do they do stuff deliberately to inspire the possessive type behavior? In which case I'd ask who is actually the partner trying to exert dominance? Am I the only one finding this interesting? Probably that's a yes but oh well I will still indulge myself by talking out loud.

For example. To make a controversial statement that I guess most Caribbean people have heard and which disturbs me somewhat it is said that some Caribbean women like men who beat them up because it shows that the guy cares for them. (look don't come telling me no stupidness bout I dissing Caribbean people, is dem I grow up wid an know so don't expect me to base what I saying on French or Portuguese. I sure dem might have it too but I only know bout two or three a dem.) Why would this be the case if it is indeed true?

To offer a simple answer (aka cop out) without delving too deeply since I realize one could do a nice PhD on this stuff I guess its just a case where different behaviors in partners appeal to different persons right? We are all unique individuals so no one solution or formula fits everyone's behavior. Some people like to dominate, some are submissive, some can handle possessiveness, for others it would drive them crazy.

So the point of this blog? Well clearly as I wrote I realized I had bitten off more than I could chew and I also realized I really need to be more coherent but the blog wasn't to give answers just sort of put the whole possessive behavior thing out there and maybe provoke some feedback, maybe a few examples, maybe some other blogs hint hint :-). So what do you think about possessiveness? And Men why are you possessive if you are and ladies do you like possessiveness and if so to what degree?

Monday, January 24, 2005

Winter Wonderland

Just a rather quick hail to everyone.

Still not 100%, this flu thing had me rather quiet this weekend. Got to go to work today though as I've got another one day course to attend. Oh well such is life.

Toronto was a winter wonderland this weekend. Snow cann dun! They said 15cms but to my estimation it seemed like alot more than that especially the one time I was outside and the snow was halfway up my leg in some parts.

Oh BET had a Fresh Prince marathon on Saturday. I watched a bit and surprised the wife with how many episodes I can actually quote from. Wonder if bloggerSolitaire a diehard fan of the show watched? Got to ask a question since I just saw the end of this episode but was Nia Long on the show before she had the reoccuring Lisa role?

what's going on? Well work's hectic. I'm still sick and I've got lots on my mind as usual oh plus time seems to be flying at a ridiculous rate these days.

Oh watched the new show last night NUmb3ers. Kinda cool. The ultimate nerdy detective show. Using mathematics to solve crime. How geeky is that? And I absolutely thought it was a brilliant concept at least from last nights episode. Oh well, I'm a wanta be geek but I got attitude. Gonna start me up a hip hop group called Geeks with Attitude (GWA). Our first single "Coming straight outta math class". Lyrics to follow. lol.

I got a few ideas for blogs just got to sort them out in my mind this week. That said I'm always curious as to what I can and what I cant write or what will my readers read into this or if I say this will they see me as bonafied crazy and send the padded vans. Oh well. Got a few weirdo theories in my head....not exactly conspiracy theories but just Jdid's thoughts on certain things in life like relationships etc. Trying to be a kinder gentler Jdid this week. Yea right!

Oh great blog post to read last week was this one by Xquizzyt1. For me it brought back some memories which since I mentioned it I'll now have to share maybe later this week.

Oh Johnny Carson died, Raptors won at home again, Barbados lost in cricket (guess every dog has his day), New England and Philli won (go Philli!). Hope everyone has a great day. Tomorrow hopefully I'll have something more to chat on.

Sunday, January 23, 2005


I was going to swear but I realized that it was Sunday morning so I'd try to be respectful but in my opinion disgraceful or shameful was too tame a word to describe this.

I'm listening to the Underground Railroad show on right now and they are speaking about "the tsunami song" which was being played on Hot97 radio station in New York last week. Big up to for being the first to draw attention to this in Jay Smooth's blog on Friday.

what's the big deal? Well in case you don't check the link here are some of the lyrics to this tsunami song.

.All at once you could hear the screaming ch*nks and no one was safe from the wave there were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away you could hear god laughing, "swim you b*tches swim"

So now you're screwed, it's the Tsunami
you better run or kiss your ass away, go find your mommy
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head
and now the children will be sold to child slavery...

See why I don't have the words to describe this. I'm sorry if there as ever a need to curse this is probably it ...but I will try and refrain.

Can you believe someone would actually make a song with lyrics like that. How heartless and callous can we get? And even if you believed that this song could be made would you have believed that someone on radio would actually play it? Un-frigging-believable.

And a radio station in New York of all places? New York which just 3 years ago was the scene of the 9/11 attacks. You would think New Yorkers would have some sympathy for someone else going through a tragedy and wouldn't play something like this right? I mean after all the comments about persons in Arab countries cheering as the towers fell you'd think they would be a bit sensitive to what they did involving another persons tragedy.

One of the things that additionally pisses me off is that Hot97 is one of those mainstream Hip Hop stations that's well known publicly (even though if its like the other mainstream stations it doesn't really represent for the real hip hop) so this is going to play out as ignant black people, ignorant hip-hop artists or listeners with no common sense showing their asses despite the fact that the first persons to actually condemn their actions were other hiphop listeners like the guys over at and that the guys over at, another hip hop site, took a very active part in condemning the station and compiling lists of its sponsors for persons to complain to. Once again we will be judged as a collective by the action of a few ignorant people! Just wait till more mainstream media outlets get a hold of this.

How can people be so blasted stupid? It boggles my mind.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Rather Disturbing

Check this article Rather Disturbing need I say more.

‘Real risk of tsunamis’ in region
- Saturday 22, January-2005

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico – Scientists predict killer tsunamis could strike the Caribbean, which lacks an adequate warning system even though its seabed is gouged by some of the world’s deepest trenches where tidal wavesare generated.

The last struck the region in 1946, but that was before island populations grew massively, major construction dotted shorelines and the region developed into a prized tourist destination which attracted 17 million visitors last year.

“The Caribbean is a very dangerous place for tsunamis,” said Uri ten Brink, a United States Geological Survey geologist, in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and co-authorof an article on the threatin the Journal ofGeophysical Research.

The article was published two days before the Asia tsunami hit December 26 and killed more than 162 000 people. It was triggered by a quake along the long north-south fault where the edge of the Indian plate dives below the Burma plate, known as the Sunda Trench, which is about 25 000 feet deep.

The Puerto Rico trench – one of the deepest in the world at 8 207 metres (27 355 feet) – is a 900-kilometre-long (560-mile-long) underwater canyon and fault line that runs parallel to the United States island territory for which it is named and east of the Lesser Antilles.

Tensions in the Puerto Rico, Hispaniola and Cayman Trenches which ring the Caribbean, force tectonic plates to sink under one another as they collide, producing earthquakes, underwater landslides or tsunamis. The deeper the water, the quicker waves form.

The last fatal tsunami here occurred in 1946 when an 8.1-magnitude earthquake in the Hispaniola Trench triggered a tidal wave that killed an estimated 1 700 people in the Dominican Republic andHaiti, ten Brink said in a telephone interview.

Major earthquakes erupt about every 50 years in the Caribbean, a region where even minor natural disasters can kill thousands because of environmental degradation, shoddy construction and the large numbers of people living in coastal areas or onlow-lying islands.

The Caribbean has an effective hurricane warning system and a number of tidal gauges to measure sea height.But it lacks a centralised system to alert all islands to a tsunami.

“The Caribbean needs a tsunami warning system,” ten Brink said.

The United States government uses a system called DART – Deep-ocean Assessment and Reporting of Tsunamis – with pressure recorders anchored to the sea floor detecting tsunamis as small as 1 centimetre. A link transmits data to an attached buoy that relays information to alert centres via satellite.

There are only six DART buoys in the world and they are all in the northeast Pacific Ocean, ten Brink said. And they are expensive. Lastweek, the United States government announced a $37.5 million plan to put 32 DART buoys in the Pacific and Atlantic by mid-2007.

“There is a real risk from tsunamis in the Caribbean, but the risk is small when compared to other earthquake hazards over history such as buildings collapsing and fires,” said Lloyd Lynch, a seismological engineer at the Seismic Research Unitin Trinidad.

“But that could change,” he added. “We’re more vulnerable now because of recent coastal development.”

Members of the Caribbean Disaster Emergency Response Agency plan to meet in May along with scientists and disaster coordinators to discuss the need for an early warning system, said Terry Ally, a spokesman for the Barbados-based agency. (AP)

Friday, January 21, 2005

Remedies and other stuff

Well my weekend's shot. Still sick, missed another day of work. Maybe could have forced it and gone in today but its freaking -30 outside and I'm still achy. The work doesn't get sick and it'll be there when I return so I'm trying to regain my strength today. And to paraphrase my better half 'THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS !!!." Word is born

Still I kind of vex cause that means I have to miss this month's domino tournament tomorrow. Was looking forward to going in and liking some six. Was feeling well confident and looking to do big things in '05. Oh well, there's always next month.

Weird cold/flu I have right now. Well actually all my cold/flu illnesses always follow the same pattern. Sore throat, then fever then achiness and the rest of the symptoms jump in. The achiness is still here, a bit of fever still there but the other symptoms seem not to be appearing. A bit worrying that.

Plus this is the first time I've been sick where I actually have an appetite. Been eating down the house almost since the sore throat disappeared.

Yesterday I slept like maybe 12 hrs. Slept from about 8 till 10 then from 1 till 5 then from 7 to 11, then from 1 till this morning. All slept out now so I was watching Exit Wounds trying to relax this morning. I remembert when I watched this movie the first time thinking it was rather silly but it didn't seem half bad today. Must be the drugs. Oh and didn't realize that my man Drag-On was in that one too. He's in the follow up which is Cradle to the Grave. Its not really a sequel but its basically the same cast, DMX, Tom Arnold, Anthony Anderson etc.

Anyway I wasn't going to really blog today so this will be short-ish. I was just thinking about all the home remedies I've heard of growing up in the Caribbean so I was wondering if anyone had any unique ones to share.

Stuff like honey and lemon, or honey, lime and rum, cerasee tea, garlic and honey, coffee and lime, (hmm I think I see a trend here), aloes, salt apparently good for a sore throat, ginger tea, plain ginger to suck on for the sore throat as well. So let me see what you guys can come up with.

I'm going back to bed. Have a good day.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Darth Vader in me chest

Fa real! Kami like she pass on her cold to me. Cuhdear! I wake up and my operatic voice gone James Earl Jones on me, I cant even do me lil skettel concerto rendition. Throat hurts like crazy so I'm just sipping some ginger tea and hoping for the best.

Knew this was coming though. It always starts with the sore throat and proceeds from there. Oh well what was I to do? The combination of the cold weather and sick workmates and the fact that my body doesn't like this place always gets me. Actually I think its more the sick workmates. Been dodging different flu viruses at work for the past two weeks but at least one seems to have caught up. Oh well such is life.

Last night they get rid of my girl Betti, you know the sista with the hair issues from last week's blog on the Sports Illustrated model search show just as I predicted before the show started. I knew she was gone from the time the model shoot included cold weather. They had her posing with huskies as snow fell. She actually did a better job than I expected but you could tell that she was cold. Anyway girl don't feel no way you tried but you knew you weren't going to win.

Thought that the girl whose photo shoot was called its raining men but who then proceeded to dismiss the men from her shoot like she a run things was going to be eliminated but they kept her.

The judges were funny though. They aren't the most diplomatic but they aren't the most brash either like when they are talking about sagging butts or the girl with the big lips and last night they told one girl something about her smile. I was actually just thinking imagine if the judges were just some igrant west indians, cause ya kno sum a we aint got nuh tact atall. Conversations with the contestants would have gone like this.

To girl with big lips: "Looka girl you duz look real bad wid ya lips push up so ya kno! lemma tell ya straight if you doan stop dat foolishness one day them gine stick dat way. I aint mekkin sport ya kno!"

To flabby girl: " See wha me a say rude gal, me no say dat ya favor mampie but still ya body naa gine mek it in a de people dem magazine. yes ya face fe look nice but .... is why ya start cry for when me tell ya ya face look nice? cho! ya doan kno when big man fe gi ya compliment?

but listen rude gal, listen ya naa see tyra and dem big moggle gal dem in a de sports illustrated? ya feel say ya favor dem gal deya? cause me a tell ya de trut gal ya naa favor dem supermoggle dem, ya naa come close. ya no see how maga dem gal fe look like dem never look pun de stew beef or curry goat yet? is bare ital dem dat dem gal fe yam. And you think say dat ya body fe look like dem? yo rude gal, is like ya neva see pictures a ya body yet? hear wha me a say, ya need fe leave all dat fast food business, 'amburger business an pizza business alone."

To the girl with the smile issue: "But waittttt why you skinnin you teets so? chupse!!!!!!! I aint know if anybody tell you this yet but lemma tell ya cause I telling ya this fa ya own good. doan feel I trying ta insult ya ya kno but listen ta me good; all dat skin teet thing doan look nice ya kno! not nice atall atall atall. firss of all ya got two lil wuns at de side deyso dat look real sharp like ya is a vampire. then as juss a overall thing dem teet got you mout look like a Black Rock minibus punna weekday marnin. RAM off den!! pack down wid teets! ya got summuch teets in dey dat I wanta kno whapart you duz keep ya gums.

listen ta muh nuh. No I aint insulting ya but try an look in de yellow pages under dentist or ortha ammm wha dem name again? Yea, orthodontist or ona dem sorta fellas an get sumting do cause from whapart I standing, boy you, dem teets got me worried. Evatime I look at ya mout it duz frighten me, an dat is de honest to god truth! I duz feel like red riding hood looking at de wolf den."

I'm medicated today so I'm denying all responsible for anything I just wrote. Have a good day folks.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Sticker for the Handsome gentleman

I know ya was a crook! Ya wretch ya, ya get ketch!

The above link is about the sticker lady. Who is the sticker lady? The sticker lady is this middle aged woman who one sees on Yonge street asking for donations to children's charities. She is a con-woman, a pure crook!

Now let me tell you about me and the sticker lady. Picture this: Spring 1992, Jdid juss a reach T-dot from foreign the year before, de gal a rush me and I have to beat dem off wid stick. True playa fa real ask puff daddy. yea yeah! Oh wait a minute sorry hallucinating again. Let me start over. Picture this: Spring 1992, Jdid juss a reach T-dot from foreign the year before and he was living on campus at University. First year away from family and loved one, adjusting to the lonely life in the big city, life as a minority and life in University, where he gained 15lbs freshman year (went from extremely maga to juss plain maga lol), all at the same time. Back in the days when I was a teenager. The sounds of A Tribe Called Quest Scenario Remix and Kris Kross' Jump filled my stereo along with artists like Black Sheep, Ice Cube, Slick Rick and Public Enemy. Back when I had the Pistons cap, the African medallion and the Kookabura hoodie. Back around the time of the disturbance/riot downtown Toronto in 92.

Had this thing for downtown Toronto (still do actually but I don't visit that often anymore), Yonge Street in particular. Maybe it was the preponderance of black folk that hung around Yonge and Dundas, going to the Worlds Largest Jeans Store or to the Eaton Centre's TV sized cinemas, before they decided to change up that area. It attracted hardcore hip hop heads, bums, youth with the same Caribbean accents as myself and this one particular bajan Muslim guy in whiterobes selling his incense on the corner but sneaking into the magazine shop a few doors down every now and then to look at porn (don't ask me how I know what the man used ta do, wunnah too malicious!).

Had to be the presence of HMV and Play-de Record, Star Sound (which changed its name to Traxxs a few years later and sadly closed about three years back and became a Quizno's sub place) and Sams and all the other record stores. See I was an addict, addicted to music (maybe its a habit, I gotta use it). Whatever it was, almost every Thursday evening, when the new shipment of hip hop came in to Play-De and StarSound from the U.S and many weekends you would catch me at some point walking around that area. Actually it was more than the record stores that attracted me, although undeniably that was a huge part, it was just the chance to get away from school and see everyday people. It was a good break from the stress of University.

Anyway it was a nice spring day, the first hints of green were appearing on the trees, the temperature was around 10C but felt warmer after my first experience of the freezing temperatures of the winter. I'm walking down Yonge Street just south of HMV by the flea market (now just boarded up with construction hoarding as they have been building something there for like the last 7 years which they haven't finished) with one of my bajan bredren, who I had known from home but had lost touch with and then ran into in that very same area, when she first came up to me and smiled and put this yellow circular sticker on my hand. "Sticker for the handsome gentleman?" she sort of said sort of asked as she placed it on my hand. I'm thinking to myself well that was kind of weird but still really friendly for this cold country that I was just getting used to and by cold I'm not describing the weather but actually the attitudes of its inhabitants.

Anyway she caught my attention and I stopped because I was curious. She was very softspoken and charming with eyes that sort of sparkled, not a hint of falsehood surrounding her, well in my opinion at least. She smiled and gave me some story, which in hindsight was rather vague, about collecting donations for some children's related charity. I thought naively well she asked so politely maybe I'll give her some of the spare change in my pocket. So I did and then that was it. I went along my merry way but still felt pretty good because of this random interaction amongst strangers on a busy street in Toronto.

Should have seen it as a con though because how often do people start off conversations with me with the words handsome. Damn, she played on my ego! I'm an idiot! Smart lady.

Fast forward to the next spring. I'm once again walking down Yonge Street this time a bit further north up by Sam's Record store and I'm once again confronted with a sticker on my hand and the same phrase "Sticker for the handsome gentleman?". This time now however I've had a full year to analyze the previous interaction, I'm hip to the game and I'm probably a bit more Jdid and a bit more street smart so sorry I have no cash to give you even if you do give me a sad look when I say no. But now I'm rather curious and after noticing her a few more times that year I kind of keep a look out for this lady and I watch her run the same line on stranger after stranger at various locations on Yonge street as the seasons change and as the clothing changes from heavy winter apparel to tank tops and jeans. She sometimes hangs out near the street youth up by the mission or most of the time closer to the busier intersections where there are more candidates for her to run her game on.

Its an interesting game she plays and quite a financially successful one it would seem for she keeps on working the same line over the years, here and in other Canadian cities apparently until finally it looks like they caught up with her (see link at top of this). Now they've discovered her $300,000 house in the suburbs and her nice SUV and the fact that none of the money she collects goes to charities. FRAUD! Well I didn't know about the house and car but I knew at some point 12 years ago that this money wasn't going towards any charity.

She caught me and probably numerous folks with that word handsome but later that was what clued me in to the con. Of course what does she care if I figured it out later she still got my cash. Sometimes I'm so stupid. When a man ugly like me and you start off with those words all sorts of alarms should go off.

Thing is though its cases of cons like this and the one with the shaky lady (excellent con. trust me if you ever saw her you couldn't help but have pity) that leaves one jdid and skeptical about helping the real street folk that need help. I realize that there are genuine lost souls out there who really do need some help at some point or the other because they are down on their luck although I don't really think one should encourage too much begging. Still it is the Christian thing to do to help your fellow man right? But when you get situations with frauds and confidence people you wonder whose story is real and whose is a fraud and why should I help the frauds make more money than I do or build an empire from my cash? And if I cant discern the fraud from the real why should I help at all. I'm not giving you money so you can play me. I tell ya this dat cant work atall!

Actually as an aside maybe the sticker lady started a trend because I'm seeing legit charities asking for money on the streets more.

Anyway I'm glad that the sticker lady has been exposed as a con woman. Its sad because it will probably make folk a bit more skeptical about giving to street folk but in the long run its probably for the good of society.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Dem got muh chipping

Well I woke up and its -23C with windchill its -35C, and the high supposed to be -10. What I like to describe as weather not fit for man or beast. I'm frightened to go outside because I might turn into an icicle on my way to work. Anyway just wanted to share a few incoherent notes inspired by my Saturday night at the steelpan show.

(1) Well this woman two seats over was trying to tief the seat next to me and in the process she juck muh hand wid a big hard false fingernail. Lawd ave mercy! Man I see stars. I think she give muh Tetnus, berri berri and carpal tunnel all wid one juck. My hand hurt me so bad den! All like now I could still feel it.

(2) Everytime I go around certain pan folk they are always looking to recruit me for Caribana. Bare sweet talk flinging at me about how I got potential and I should play and about practice and classes and all that. I haven't made up my mind about it yet though, I hoping since I am so prized a recruit they will offer me a signing bonus. Nothing big, I aint looking for no "kill-cow" (interpret that as big or extravagant amount). I would settle for two cocoa bread and a patty.

(3) I don't know about anyone else but have you ever studied the differences with how Caribbean people dance? I being real simplistic here because this would take several blogs to explain but let me break it down for you. Trini's duz do this thing they call chipping. The best way I can think to describe it is as a rhythmic slow march. That in my mind is the official dance of Trinidad and they can perform it to every type of music imaginable. Soca dem chipping, Reggae dem chipping, RnB dem chipping, classical dem chipping. I think it probably originate out of having to parade on the streets for two full days of carnival. When you dancing so long you cant have no big extravagant moves or by the time the second day come ya ketch heatstroke and pull muscles and must run to doctor for time off work and medication and therapy so you keep your movements simple simple.

Anyway Saturday night dem had me chipping to the steelpan music even though I is a bajan cause ya know they say when in Rome do as the Romans and since this was mainly a Trini thing well I had to chip.

Now I get a little sidetracked but as I was saying this is how it goes; Trinis chip to any type of music, Bajans duz wuk-up to anything (wont describe that here) and Jamaicans well amm umm. Man looka Jamaicans got too many dances for me to keep track of. Sometimes I think they should change their motto from out of many we are one to out of one people we invent many dances.

Its like a different dance for every day of the year. 365 dances and counting. I was still trying to learn the cool n deadly and all a sudden I lookup and bram! boggle and the butterfly in my face. Then Armstrong, then next thing I know I hearing about pepperseeds and go go wine, body basic and tate. How am I expected to keep up? Its like I need a dancing instructor or instructional video to keep up. Then I learn one or two and all a sudden mock de dread appear. Then I hear Angel and Log on(an step pun ch...), matrix, then row the boat, signal the place and now I hearing Thunder Clap. And I know the Thunder Clap about a year and a half old now so I know I way way behind the times. They just wont allow me to learn one dance good before I got to learn another one. Look, try and slow down the dances nuh. I aint no Fred Astaire nor James Brown, I got two left feet and it duz tek muh real long to learn dem dances.

(4) Caribbean language is the sweetest language out there. I trying to be a student of all of them and sometimes I get mix up and switch the bajan wid de yardie and the trinibago speech but is all good. Working on some accents too but they aint ready for prime time yet. Regardless its all niceness and it serves to help keep me sane in this proper English society. A few colorful West Indian words sometimes is all I need to bring a smile to my face. I could do a whole post on language actually. Some words mean the same in all the islands and some mean different things. Some words like the Bajans "Wunnah" and the Jamaican "Unna" both from the same West African language root word and both used the same way. Its really interesting to see how the dialects evolved in each island.

Anyway 'Dem got me chipping' is an example of the opposite where the words mean different things in different islands. If I said that to a Trini he's going to think I'm talking about dancing to the music cause that is what chipping means to him. But now if I said that same phrase to a bajan he would think I mean that I'm working really hard today, work busy busy and I cant even get a lil break cause to chip means to be in a hurry or to rush around. Ya see how the words is the same but mean different things? Boy this language thing real interesting I think.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Monday again

Weekends rolling by way too fast for my liking these days. I was supposed to blog about the concert today but no time to really get into that since I have to hit work early today. Got a seminar to attend this morning. Just trying to keep the mind active I guess.

Anyway not much to talk about but will mention this article from yesterday's Nation. Alicia Keys in Barbados for the Jazz festival and her bodyguards beating up journalists. Chupse! I hate that celebrities and their entourages can get away with so much crap in the Caribbean. And why do Americans feel that them can unfair everybody an get away with it? Didn't seem to be no reason for him grappling up the journalist. Shame on the police for not doing anything about that.

Too much celebrity hero worship bow down to the big boys thing going on. Guess that's one of the outcomes when you do something silly like put all your eggs in tourism.

Anyway got to run or will be late for class. Hope everyone has a nice day.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Big and Beautiful

Well hope everyone is having a great weekend. I sleep most of Saturday and went out last night to a really nice pan concert (full detail tomorrow). Actually the one thing I can say about the show was Afropan did a rendition of Barber of Seville using pan that was sweet for days. London Philharmonic and Boston Pops and them big bands aint got nuttin on Afropan. Lawd a mercy!

Anyway let me give you my entire show critique tomorrow.

Saw this article in the Barbados Nation today. Its about the "big and beautiful" beauty shows that that have been going on there recently. The shows are beauty shows for full figured women. Now while I aint too big on the whole beauty show thing (I gine still watch dem if dem show dem pun tv though) I am all for the concept of the big and beautiful shows because for one it shows that beauty is not confined to some concept of a bony half starved runway model with her ribs popping out. Voluptuous is good! The lord din mek all a we the same and everybody cant be light enough that a strong breeze pick dem up and blow dem way. Most women cant come close to those magazine models' statistics and looks but yet this is what the media pushes at us as the concept of beauty. And yes as a Caribbean man sometimes me like see woman wid likkle meat on her bones. Nuttin wrong wid dat. So yes lets show that big can also be beautiful. Its not healthy to make women believe that the waif look is the one to strive for.

These shows can build the confidence and self esteem of the bigger ladies out there and show us that even if ya coca-cola shape turn pet bottle ya can still be beautiful. That was jus a lil joke I hope it aint offend nuhbody.

In reality its about being healthy and living a healthy lifestyle. What weight are you healthy at? It appears different for everyone. For most people being pencil thin aint the healthiest. But because the media throws those images at us that's what the ladies strive to be. For men the image is either the muscle bound Arnold look or the sleek athletic Olympic type bodies. We must all realize that we cant all get to that ideal look so being healthy is actually the goal.

Anyway I still wanted to point out that we as a Caribbean people are still too big or not taking the healthy thing serious enough in general though. The show's organizers say that the ladies must be around 250lbs or above to enter. They said that the last show they did in Barbados most of the ladies they had were under that range and were some of the smallest in this series of events being held all over the Caribbean. Wow! Now like I said I'm all for the full figured look and think the contest is great but when you stop and think about it 250lbs is a real lot of weight for the average woman who somewhere between 5'-2" and 5-10". I mean even if you consider its like the average Caribbean beauty show where most of the contestants start at 5'7" and end up around 6'0" those ladies are still pushing into the realms of obesity with body mass index above 33. (Mind you BMI aint that great an indicator in my opinion because if you working out and put on muscle it duz tell ya alot a foolishness bout ya overweight and ting so and it don't take into consideration that certain groups apparently seem to have denser bones)

Yes I know that for alot of Caribbean (read that as black) people, you look at us and don't realize that we are heavier than you can imagine (myself included cause people used to always look at me and think me maga an weigh about 160 and I weighed about 185) but 250lbs no matter how you cut it is still quite a bit of weight to be carrying around. So are these beauty shows promoting obesity or unhealthy behavior? Because with obesity comes alot of health issues and I would hate to think that we going from one extreme to the next, from promoting the waif thin look with its health issues to promoting obesity with its own set of problems.

Maybe we need a beauty show for women who fall somewhere in between and healthy.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Politricks as usual

Quick Saturday blog.

Well embattled Canadian Immigration Minister Judy Sgro resigned yesterday. Now when I was much younger and more naive I used to think that only West Indian politicians were shady. Silly me. Since I've grown up I've realized that sadly politics is poli-tricks the world over.

So many political scandals I can think of now that you wonder if that's the way things are really supposed to be. Gives credence to the saving that power corrupts. Anyway let me give you some details of this one. Well first off last year this politician Judy Sgro apparently was giving away favors in return for people working on her election campaign. First leaked story was that she promised a stripper from Romania asylum in return for working on her campaign. Now if the politician was a man this would have turned into one of those really big scandals. Then again this is Canada where we could really care less about politics. Politician scandal yea ok, big deal, who cares. Hockey lockout......... nuff man vex vex and cussing and crying an saying 'lord why thus thou persecute me so' or to paraphrase myself from previous blogs on my computer weeping and moaning filled the land and there was gnashing of teeth. Oh well a so it go.

Anyway so Judy get a bit of scrutiny for the stripper thing but now another story comes out that just sank her boat. She apparently offered another fellow asylum for giving her campaign free pizza. Shame! Free pizza? You can buy politician favor with pizza. Whoa! What happened to clandestine meetings in dark alleyways or deserted dockyards with dudes in darks shades and black suits with big briefcases full of money.

And What! But wait! Looks like politics a bit different here than in the Caribbean. In the Caribbean it would be the politician giving the electorate the free pizza or the corned beef and biscuits or the curry goat as the case may be not the other way around. Jamaica has Curry Goat politics, Barbados has Corn Beef and Biscuit politics but it seems that Canada has pizza politics and they flipped the scenario. I guess that's the difference between the first world and the third world. In the Caribbean politicians pay others to get votes to be elected, in Canada they get others to pay them in the hope of getting favors later. Ok yea that's too simplistic a definition of the differences since the same pizza type politics happens in the Caribbean as well but I felt like making that distinction.

Anyway another politician another scandal. Is there any question why our youth are jaded (jdid perhaps even) when matters of voting, politics and governing are brought to the fore. Maybe its time we rethink popular democracy or at least some issues of power.

Friday, January 14, 2005


Wow, dont even have the strength to post anything significant today. I knew I was tired but didnt realize how tired I actually was until I fell asleep on the subway and missed my stop. Seriously strong sleep but at least I didnt dribble or snore.... this time.

Anyway had some stuff to talk about especially one news item I heard of this morning but I too tired to be really coherent so will leave that til tomorrow. Just have to make it through today and get back home safely. No domino night with the boys tonight I too tired for that.

Mind you I have a squash match in like 2 hrs. Maybe thats partially why I'm so tired this week. Will be the 4th time I play for the week. Usually I average about two outings so this is a bit much. Oh well its against this older lady who works somewhere close to my office who I met on the squash courts a few weeks back. We just go knock the ball around for 1/2 hr, no real games and I sort of play at 65% speed. Actually I think I've been playing at less than 100% all year so far againt everyone anyways. I believe its mostly psycological given that the last two Januaries I've injured myself (back and groin injuries which kept me away from the game for a few months) and everytime I step on the court I'm very very aware of that. So no playing with reckless abandon this month at least.

Oh, the weather here is interesting. Yesterday we had a high of 17 Celcius which is like late spring weather. Today its -2 with a windchill of -10. Oh well at least I'm not in Calgary and them places so where its -26 or -32 without windchill. Oh and on Wednesday it was also cold and the sidewalks were frozen over. My usually one minute walk to the bus probably took about 10-12 minutes. I had to say it was a good thing I had gone out and bought those new boots last weekend instead of trying to make the old ones that were tearing away at the sole last through the winter because if I had to wear the old ones I might have taken a nice fall.

Oh and I woke this morning to find out that the West Indies cricketers lost again. Badly. Australia kicked their butts. I guess the more things change the more they remain the same. You just have to keep it real and say they are a struggling team but some folks seem to think that everytime we start a series it will be revealed that our players are really superheroes and we will become number 1 overnight. Oh well!

Thats all for now. Will try to make it through the day without falling asleep and then go home and see if the Raptors, 4-1at home in their last 5 games can win a road game against the sixers tonight. Enjoy your day folk.

Don't eva mess with a sista's hair

"Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy! You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here, man!"

Chris Tucker - Rush Hour

Well my computer is back yeahhh! Its partially fixed meaning the hardware is supposedly fixed (new harddrive, new video card, pockets flat flat flat) so now I've just got to re-install all my software and hopefully get everything back to where I want it which may take at least a solid 24 hrs of work. Must say with all the computer drama I've been through lately I'm a bit tentative and waiting for the next crash but I live in hope. Anyway last night I stayed up til about 1am working on it while listening to Joan Armatrading or leaving things to install while watching the Raptors play or Alias or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search. Anyway needless to say when it is fixed the land will be aflow with jiggy drinks and the people will be content. (but that's another blog)

Oh for you youngsters and the North American raised who may be asking who in the world Joan Armatrading is I guess the best way for me to describe her is she was Tracy Chapman before Tracy Chapman but with a bit of a rock n roll edge. Actually her work kind of transcends genres so some of her stuff is folksy like Tracey Chapman, some's more funky, some more rock and roll but all in all good music (and the best part is I got the CD new for like 6.99). Oh and she a West Indian ,Kittitian born I believe.

Anyway the reason I used the quote from Rush Hour above was because I wanted to to flip that to what happened on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model show last night. For those who haven't seen the show let me break it down for you. Everyone has heard of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition right? Tyra Banks, Molly Sims, Heidi Klum, Christie Brinkly, Cindy Crawford, Cheryl Tiegs, Naomi Campbell, Rachel Hunter, Kathy Ireland and a host of supposedly the most beautifulliest women in the world have been in its pages over the years. Yes I know beautifulliest aint a real word but I using it for emphasis. Well last year they decided to do a model search and let the SI (Sports Illustrated) readers choose one amateur to join the professional models in the magazine so over the course of a few weeks the magazine showed various girls and readers were allowed to vote online until finally one of them was chosen.

This year they decided to get some additional publicity and do it all as a reality show with the winner getting in addition to a chance to be in the magazine a one million dollar modeling contract.. Yea pretty sad my watching reality TV but hey it's girls in swimwear every week so I make no apologies. Leave me 'lone! Plus as a West Indian, people who duz take criticism to the level of professional sport ya kno I can sit down and watch and laff and practice my criticism artform (how I gine get betta if I don't practice nuh?) and make bare sport of the girls.

Anyway nuff said. The drama this week involved a black contestant, Betti's hair style. Last week the judges said they didn't like her long weave so this week when the hairstylists showed up to do all the girls' hair they removed her weave and left her hair in this afro-ish, puffy look. To tell you the truth it really didn't look great ok enough pretense it did look real real bad when they had first finish doing it. I mean don't get me wrong the 'unbeweavable' style she had previously 'naa gine mek it' either but the new style ended up making her look almost troll like. I mean in all seriousness they had her looking like a pencil wid a big eraser on top.

I mean seriously I did really feel for the girl. I remember when I was growing up in Barbados if you went to the barber or ya fadda or brother or friend who cutting ya hair and he gave you a bad haircut; put patches in it or cut it uneven or aint round it up properly you would be subjected to comments like 'cuhdear lil boy dat barber really unfair you doah. ya mean you sit down an let he unfair you head so?' or the barber would have to deal wid 'man looka how you unfair dat lil boy head doah. man you like you aint nuh real barber fa true ya kno, you like you is a barber friend'. Well looking at Betti's hair after the hairstylists finished all I could think was 'cuhdear Betti dem unfair ya too bad fa troot.'

Anyway Betti was not at all pleased. After probably spending money and nuff time sitting in a hair salon waiting until 3:30 pm to finally get her 10:30am appointment to get her weave did so she could look good on TV these folks just up and take it out and left her looking all busted. It naa go so. So Betti spoke up. She told the hairdresser and anyone in earshot that she wasn't pleased with the hair and rightly said that she had never seen a SI model with this type of hair inferring that they were ruining her chances at winning the contest by leaving her like that.

Well as Paul Keen's Douglas would say. Who tell she say dat! For the rest of the show the hairdresser and the other models were all complaining about why Betti behave so, how she feel she is a diva, she didn't have to act like that, she got nuff attitude and a whole bunch of talk about her behavior.

Now from my perspective Betti was very restrained (at least what they showed on TV) after they had left her looking worse that a reject from Soul Train. She raised her voice a bit but didn't scream, just enough intensity to make them realize she was upset and she wasn't cussing anyone just telling them like it is. But no even the other black girl (who ended up getting the boot) had talk for Betti.

Now these people obviously didn't know that you "Don't you ever touch a black woman's hair ! You can get your ass killed out here, man!" Its just not done. Hair is a serious thing. You ever see how many hair magazines are out there for black women? Just from looking at that you have to realize that when it comes to hair the sistas don't play. Yea sometimes it aint gine look like all that but black women don't willingly let no-one play up in their hair to end up looking like Donna Summer's downtrodden step sister. To me those guys are lucky that Betti didn't act a fool up in there.

Anyway, Betti avoided getting kicked off. Actually the hairstyle turned out not that bad in the end. I think Betti braided it overnight and the next morning comb it out and it actually looked respectable and since they ended up on a 70s style photo shoot this week she did well. But how long will the hair remain that way one wonders because she's obviously not comfortable with it and as she said they don't put nobody in SI with their hair looking so.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Dem people "believe"

Very superstitious, writing’s on the wall,
Very superstitious, ladders bout’ to fall,
Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin’ glass
Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past.

When you believe in things that you don’t understand,
Then you suffer,
Superstition ain’t the way

Superstition - Stevie Wonder

Just the other day Kami was blogging about superstitions and then yesterday I saw the article at the bottom of this blog in the Barbados Nation online and felt the need to share it. I would just post the link but the Nation webpage takes way too long to load even with highspeed.

Some folks really take this superstition thing serious. Me? Well my mother always tell me that them people dat "believe" (short for believe in the supernatural, obeah and spirits and such) really need to seek Christ. I've heard of folks back in the day going to the obeah man who told them to go to the four crossroads and sprinkle duppy dust at midnight or go and take a bush bath or walk backwards into the sea reciting some strange secret incantation but I didn't realize that these practices still occurred. My thoughts are although there is a lot of unexplained stuff out there I cant get with these superstitions. In fact to me the role of Obeah Man seems like one of the sweetest cons perpetrated on people in these days and times. Easy money for a fellow that can make someone believe that they are haunted or possessed or someone has put a spell on them. I was thinking that if things don't pan out in my chosen field as a fallback plan I should open me own obeah man business. Mek people walk into Lake Ontario backwards or put lil set a fireplace ashes in a ziplock an sell it as duppy dust but no I cant be so bad....yet

Anyway this story is an extreme example of when people "believe" too much. Pretty sad story in a way actually.

Link to Nation Story here or just read below.

Sex Ritual To Cast Out Demons - Tuesday 11, January-2005
by Roy R. Morris

There’s an old saying: Don’t judge a man ’til you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Keep this in mind as you read this article.

Early last week I received a call from a woman who asked me to help her with a problem. I have to admit that while speaking to her I kept asking myself “how silly can a person get?”

But as I replayed the conversation in my mind over the week, it occurred to me that my judgment was particularly harsh. When I did a full interview, my disposition changed dramatically.

Andrea is 27 years old, but her level of reasoning suggests she is much younger. Her mother died when she was a baby. She attended secondary school until she was just 13 years old. She has not been to school anywhere since then. At the age of 14 she was raped.

The information in the preceding paragraph is purely for the purpose of setting the tone for her actual complaint.

In Bajan parlance, this simple girl “believes”. She believes that a woman who wanted a relationship with a previous boyfriend “put a curse on her”. She said she suffered intense bleeding during every episode of sexual intercourse after being “threatened” by the woman and attributes it to obeah. According to her, no doctor has been able to explain the bleeding.

But that was just the start. Andrea said she was constantly fighting at night with “little men” who had sex with her, tried to choke her, whose faces showed up in picture frames, in mirrors, even on the corn flakes box. She said she could not enter her home at Black Rock without seeing the face of a woman in the ceiling.

She complained of clothing turning up other than where she had put it, food disappearing from the fridge and table, people knocking at the door but seeing no one when she looked out.

The young woman said she went to church after church but found no relief. “I guess I was not strong enough,” she rationalized.

That was when, she said, a girlfriend of her brother drew her attention to an ad in The Nation, with someone identifying himself as a high priest offering assistance with situations such as hers. For $1 000 he offered to cast out her evil spirits and “cleanse the house”.

Andrea said she begged and borrowed to come up with the money, after the “high priest” shuffled some cards at her introductory visit to his home near the Ministry of Public Works, invited her to pull three and they all pointed to her imminent death.

The problem was that none of the “cures” worked. He then determined that the demons had inherited her jewelry and they too had to be brought to him for cleansing. As time passed and neither relief nor her jewelry returned, Andrea said, she was told the four rings, three bracelets, two chains , earrings and anklet were so deeply possessed they had to be buried to “get rid of the spirits”.

Still she believed in the man.

With nothing changing, he apparently determined it was time for the heavy stuff. According to her, she was told a ritual would have to be performed on her body and it would involve intercourse. For the first time, she said, she questioned his course of action, and was told she should not see it as sex, but the casting out of demons.

At the end of the “ceremony” which also included her performing oral sex on him, she said, she was told there were a total of seven demons, and that session had successfully removed one. She had to come back for six more sessions. She went back to have two more demons cast out, then came to her senses.

Since then, she said, her attempts to retrieve her jewelry and money have been met with threats of both physical and spiritual harm – enough to keep her quiet.

I spoke with Andrea’s brother, who “confirmed” he knew of her dealings with the so-called high priest, but only “at the end”. I also spoke with her grandmother, a devout Christian, who told of “bringing the Scriptures to her to help her fight the evil she was facing”.

They both described Andrea as “a very simple” person who had been taken advantage of. Neither have known her to be involved in the taking of illegal drugs.

Is it possible that an adult who consented to sex, and who willingly gave money to another adult to provide a service, can now reasonably cry foul?

I raised the matter with Commissioner of Police Darwin Dottin and respected criminal lawyer, Ralph Thorne, both of whom “strongly” believe that if the facts are as she outlined then she was raped.

According to Dottin, rape can be by physical force or false pretense, adding that based on past court ruling, “a person can vitiate consent by fraud”, and that is what appears to have occurred in this case. Under the Theft Act, he added, he believed the man could also be prosecuted for fraud in relation to the jewelry and money he took.

Thorne said: “I am in absolutely no doubt that if things occurred the way she said then it was a case of rape. As you said a defense lawyer would argue consent, but I believe such a case can be successfully prosecuted.”

The commissioner’s advice was for her to go to the nearest police station and make a complaint.

This matter still presented one serious dilemma for me – how do I make contact with the “high priest” to get his side of the story,when I am satisfied that to do so would almost inevitably lead to him using fear to stop her from making a statement to police – as had occurred in the last.

Right or wrong, I considered the matter and decided that the greater good would come from offering her the protection of the time to make the complaint.

I will end with the words of Commissioner Dottin: “What this points to is an apparently increasing tendency by too many in our society to prey on the weak and simple among us.”

Need I say more?

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


Ok I lied. Well not so much lied as I felt compelled to return to the fold. Addiction is a terrible thing I tell ya.

Anyway some things you have to post timely or they don't make any sense assuming they made sense in the first place so hence today I blog.

I don't know how many of you are football fans, and I mean what Americans call football not what we Caribbean folk and the rest of the world call football, but the NFL has reached it playoff stage. Go Philli! Go Atlanta! Go anyone but the Patriots!

Anyway during Sunday's playoff game Minnesota vs Green Bay, wide receiver Randy Moss of the Minnesota Vikings scored a touchdown after which he pretended to moon the Green Bay fans. For this action he has received not only the required criticism for the childish act that he performed but is likely to be fined by the league. (not that a 5 or 10 thousand dollar fine affects someone making millions of dollars a year to play sports but thats another blog)

In all fairness to Moss, other players and coaches around the league seem to know why he performed this action. Apparently Green Bay fans are notorious for actually mooning the opposing teams on their way out of the ground after a loss. This was simply Moss returning the favor and I'm sure those teams who have had to bear that indignity must have cheered on his action and wished that perhaps he did pull down his pants and given the Green Bay fans the full effect.

However the criticism from the media and some parts of the American public has been extremely intense in reaction to this simple act. All he did was pretend to moon the crowd. He did not commit murder, treason or an act of terrorism. No fans were killed or injured by his action. It is not an unpardonable sin.

Some of the media's response has been amazing. Fox Broadcasting and ESPN refused to show replays of the incident. Wait a minute! Isn't Fox the leader in reality TV? Surely a pretend mooning cannot be as offensive as some of its regularly scheduled offerings? They've been showing some gross stuff on reality TV lately. Isn't Fox the home of the Simpsons where Bart Simpson has been known to tell others to 'Eat my shorts' and has mooned Principal Skinner and others numerous times. Wait a minute! Holdup! Why is it suddenly such a disgrace and shame to the American viewing public to see a pretend mooning?

Hmmmmm. I'll leave you all to come to your own conclusions. However lets look at some of last years TV faux paux's; Janet's breast incident (they are all around us people, you cant escape them, at some point (hopefully) one is bound to be exposed near you), Nicollette Sheridan nude escapades with Terrell Owens in a Monday night football add which from the outrage would have made one think that Al Quada had struck again and the Indiana - Detroit brawl.

Of these incidents the only one that was probably worthy of the coverage it received was the Indiana - Detroit brawl. Why is it that America with all its issues suddenly decides to take a moral highground on certain specific seemingly trivial incidents like the pretend mooning, janet's exposure or the sexual innuendo of the Terrell Owens/Nicollette Sheridan ad while letting other more important issues slide? Why?