Sunday, July 31, 2005

Caribana Photos

Ok I got about three possibly four days worth of Caribana entertainment to blog on but I will concentrate on the photos today. I must say being in the staging area provides the best opportunities to see the pure beauty of this event cause when the big costumes get on the road everything mash up one time. Also where else can a brother go and be surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of women in skimpy costumes like the Caribana wear? Make a brother say Damm?

But me, the wife and bajansistren had this saying as we watched the proceedings. Just because they make it in your size ladies don't mean that you should wear it.

Oh and back to the skimpy caribana costumes. lawd a mercy! sweetness! Oh gosh boy! We decide we forming a band next year cause considering the cost of a costume and the size of a costume we figure this business has to have one of the best profit vs material ratios ever. Yo Fabric Land have a sale this weekend and dem duz sell cheap bras on Spadina. Then all we need is sparkles, glitter and some flimsy paper for headwear and we set! Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money!

Still something happen to me yesterday dat ah vex but I will speak on that tomorrow. For now let me show you some of Caribana 2005. Dr D , Mad Bull I have a few photos just for you guys. lol

Oh and for the sistren especially check out Soli's blog for some other photos, look like she saw some guys she thought were nice. For me I would have had to chase all them men outta my photos I aint want them blocking my view.

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Ok this was my favorite big costume. I took this one before it was all set up.

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This is it on the road in all its glory/ Looks mighty heavy.

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Get behind the truck! Vincy girls gone wild! Kami which one is you?

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Same truck more vincy girls. The movementations were mesmerizing. Let me say this now. Bajans duz wuk up bad, Trinis can wine like there is no tomorrow but dem Vincy girls yesterday could pelt waist like crazy. If y'all had seen the things I've seen, lawd ave mercy! I almost forgot I was there to play pan and followed this truck down the road. lol.

(Oh before I go on let me explain to the uninitiated. Pelting waist, wining, wukking up, movemetations all are rhymthic gyrations of the waist popular in west indian dance. Its all basically the same thing just different words.)

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Another beauty of a costume. The thing I love the most about these costumes is just the vibrancy of the colors. Its so beautiful, so Caribbean in its life. Ya don't see colors like that in North America.

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Pose off! Gal in a ya .....
Anyways she wasn't posing for me but I still tek a picture.

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Pump me up with the music, Pump me up. Go go Purple Power.

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CTV float passing by. But wait is that one of T dots finest up on the float? Oh biggest joke was as we left the parade and were going back up the road we saw a policeman getting on bad, dancing crazy. The man was pelting waist like mad.

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Early in the morning, one of the youts getting ready to go on the road. I wonder how far he made it with that heavy costume.

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This group all in white had choreographed moves.

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I lend my camera to a bredren and when it came back it had this photo. Honest to God, I din tek this one (I was too busy following the Vincy girls). This one for the Dr and Mad Bull though. Let it not be said I didn't come through for my bredren.

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On the Lakeshore. Its crowded.

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This was the scene behind my rack during a lull in playing. As we got further down the road it was like 10 people deep behind us.

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Another vibrant costume.

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(singing in best Eminem voice) My band, my band, my band, my band, my band!

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Forget the small change give me big money wine! More vibrant colors and vibrant ladies.

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Feel the music. Get mad, everybody head gone, right now we get mad, mad, mad
Craziness !

I gone, I got to catch up to the Vincy truck. Oh my!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Not much

Ok the Pan Alive photos didnt turn out the greatest I still struggling to learn this digital camera thing. Better photos tomorrow. These were taken about 1/2 hr before the competition started so the crowd a bit sparce. We lost, we came second by 2 measly points. I vex bad.

Anyway got to run, dem judging bomb tune at 11. Chupse and here I thought I coulda get drunk and disorderly this marning.

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Thursday, July 28, 2005


Image hosted by Photobucket.comWell boy its Caribana weekend! Which means all the white folks are running out of town to their cottage while all the black folks are invading from Detroit, Buffalo , NYC , the Caribbean and elsewhere. Holla at ya boy!

With a rag in me hand wuking up and getting on bad

Yes Fete is fete! We blocking up traffic all over the town or is that just on Yonge street and Lakeshore. This will probably be my last blog till maybe next Monday or Tuesday. I will be on the road, I will be in competition, I will well am I technically playing mas? I'm not sure but like Rupee would say 'When 50,000 people right there on the Lakeshore I will be there!'

So here I am just sharing some of my photos from last year, Yes I promise I'll share some of this year's as well and hopefully they are a lot better.

Anyways Caribana weekend is usually a pretty fun weekend assuming no one gets shot. Yea its pretty sad that I have to make that sort of disclaimer but violence at Caribana is always foremost in my mind after that Grenadian lady got paralyzed by a stray bullet back in 96 which was my first year going to Caribana. And in the lead up to this weekend I think there were like 7 shootings in Toronto last weekend but they were NOT AT ALL RELATED TO CARIBANA or at any Caribana affiliated events let me stress. Still it suggests that Toronto got a bit of tension running through it and with large crowds on Saturday someone sees someone from another crew who they're beefing with and something pops off as payback if we're not lucky. So I'm praying that wont happen and that we'll have a violence free weekend.

Still to all you folks venturing to the parade just be vigilant and stay safe.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comWell I'll be at Pan Alive (the steel pan contest tomorrow night (supporting if not playing) and the Parade on Saturday.

Yo last year was my first year checking out Pan Alive and let me tell you it was wicked. Steel Pan music sweet for days star. Me love it bad.

I'm skipping the Yonge street festivities which used to be for me the coolest part of Caribana. Why am I skipping it? Well the last few years, I've found that the music isn't as hype anymore cause the cops stop all the loud stereos from playing. I remember when I could just go down there and be surrounded by hip hop blasting from car to car. It was always about who had the freshest whip too.

"Ladies tell the truth you know I'm cute
But what really turns you on is the rims on my coupe"

Dudes be fronting in the Escalades and the sportscars with the crazy spinners and the like trying to catch the eyes of the ladies strolling down the street dipped in their finest gear. Hair matching nails matching shoes matching lol. Which is all good unless your hair is orange or blue. ha ha

These days now everybody and their momma seems to have a camera trying to make Toronto Girls gone wild or some other slack homemade video. And the main reason I wont be going is that the crowd has become way too young for me. Especially the girls. Once I could go down Yonge street and just view some of the beauties on display and be like yea those are some fine sistas but last year when I went down there I felt like R Kelly. Every girl I saw walking around looked like she was under 16 so I just said ok I'm outta there. Thing is there are still like lots of dudes my age who are chatting up these young girls out there. Its highly disturbing. Come on dudes have some pride. And for all the young girls do your parents know where you are? Man if I have a daughter I'm locking her ass up on Caribana Friday until she's 18. Word!

Still all in all the weekend is pretty live and I hope to enjoy myself. Every Trini calypsonian must be in town so there are some great shows to check out and the Parade after parties are always off the chain.

LOL. I remember one Caribana I partied Friday night for 5 bucks, Saturday night for 10 bucks and Sunday night (Machel Montano) for 25 bucks. Now you cant get into one party for under 35. Actually funny thing about that weekend was I was standing in a long line the Saturday night waiting to get into someone's big fete when all of a sudden I heard a commotion, someone shouts "oh s***!" and next thing I know myself along with the entire crowd starts running down Queen Street. I didn't stop for a couple of blocks come to think of it. Asafa Powell aint got nothing on me! I was in 5th gear blazing down the street. I think it was a year that something had happened so folks were a bit tense and thought something was going in line but it just turned out that a girl had thrown up. Chupse. Made me lose my spot in line for nothing.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comAnyway I just wanted to chat a little today and wish all my T dot people and anyone who comes up a safe and fun Caribana. Look fe me on the road!

Pump me up with the music! Pump me up!
cause ya know it addictive!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Shook Ones Part III

Son they shook cause aint no such thing as half way crooks
scared to death or scared to look
they shook!

Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Part II

or is that rather we are at War! As Sista Solja used to say. Or more correctly possibly we've lost the war. I'm still not sure.

But the facts speak for themselves don't they? 9/11 ushered in a new era in the Western World, North America in particular because Europe had already had to deal with bombings and the like for a while with groups like the IRA, ETA (Basque Separtists) and Algerian freedom fighters. It was the start of a new century, the 21st century and it was starting off with a bang both literally and figuratively. Things dun changed like Biggie said. A once happy go lucky western society is now living in this perpetual fear of terrorist attacks. Son we're afraid, we shook!

Memo to the terrorists, the Afghans, the Iraqis, the axis of evil and anyone else who we think is a bad guy umm according to George W and some of the other leaders you guys are losing have lost the war. That pesky war on Terror. The West went to Afghanistan and chased out the Taliban and beheaded Al Quada. What a relief that's all over now! Whew! Had me worried for a quick minute now with all this talk about Mullah Omar and Bin Laden sounding like a terrorist Jordan and Pippen combo but we crushed them fools. So now lets put fear on hold and continue with our regularly scheduled lives.

Oh wait a minute hark is that another threat from yonder that dost break? Saddam Hussein and his Weapons of Mass Destruction. Doesn't that have a Hollywood ring to it like you expect the trailer to end and hear 'Coming to a theatre near you!' or possibly 'Available now only in select cities'. Yep good old Saddam, the tyrant, the man we can all focus on as the face of evil since no-one seems to have recent photos of Bin Laden. So the West steps up again, invades Iraq, topples Saddam, searches to no avail for the WMDs and all is right with the world yet again. Hurray!

Memo No.2 to all you terrorist dudes. We the West are bringing freedoms and liberty to your neck of the woods, whether you like it or not, so if you're a tin-pot despot, an axle of evil or just a guy in Muslim garb who thinks women shouldn't show their face in public you're on our list mister. Guard ya grill son, we're coming to freedomize you! Cower in fear!

But wait a second. Bombs in London two weeks ago. Then more bombings in Iraq (which actually didn't really grab my attention that much since it seems like they are bombs in Iraq every day and the casualty list from Iraq has been so steady I'm a bit desensitized). Then other bombs in London again last week and then more bombs in Egypt. Whoa that's quite a lot of explosions isn't it? Hey terrorist dudes did you NOT get the memo. You run we pursue, you go into hiding we search for you, that's the way the game's supposed to be played.

After that last bombing Police shoot a suspected terrorist in London 5 times. They say he had a definite link to the last bombing and then it turns out it was just an ordinary citizen who was in the wrong place at the wrong time got afraid and ran. Lets see now hmm stand and be blown to smithereens by a bomb or run and get shot by the police which option seems like the best one now. Don't we get a choice number 3?

Now NYC has subway cops and armed personnel doing random checks of commuter backpacks and the like. How long till that transfers to the rest of North America? Its supposed to make one safer I suppose but wait a second random checks of commuters? Isn't that a little intrusive? Well maybe it works but does one feel safer being randomly checked? I know if I'm anyplace and there are too many policemen or soldiers with guns I start to feel a bit paranoid and start wondering about my safety. I feel less safe rather than more safe. So if they are randomly checking bags it starts to be a bit worrying for me cause I'm going to start wondering whose bag has in that explosive device. Hmmm.

So lets recap we're bringing the freedom train to the undemocratic, tyrannically ruled lands while here at home we increase our vigilance or rather erode our civil liberties and live in fear of our fellow man on the street. Is that correct? Alrighty then. So are we winning this war after all? What's next after random checks on the subway? Checkpoints on roads leading into the major cities? I mean already you can't even carry a safety pin through Airport security so whats the next step?

I don't know about all this. Sounds like we've lost this war to me cause they already got us shook, scared to death or scared to look, we shook!

Monday, July 25, 2005


Sorry no real time to blog so far this week again. I'm not on strike just extraordinarily busy with both work and Caribana preparation. I man a turn pseudo pan man aka shadow master so look fa me pun the road! Thanks for the love and the comments though I'm a get back to you guys but just letting you know its appreciated and I'll visit everyone's blog as soon as possible.

So quick thing. I was trying to support my sistren Kami and I was doing a quick read on her blog (sorry Kam didn't have time to comment will comment later) and she did a blog about weird celebrity children's names. Its right here.

Anyway it reminded me of something that happened to me the other day. Was chatting to some sistren about how the calypsonians remaking a lot of old soca tunes these days and I said I was going to get into the business and remake a few tunes and just add a little dancehall chant and a few scoobays and it would be a surefire hit! For those who don't know scoobay is like One of Elephant Man's catch phrases. No idea what it means if it means anything.

Well guess what happen the next day? Cant remember exactly where I was but it was some mall in some store and this young lady out of the blue shout out something like Scoobay or J'ouvert! So I'm thinking boy she must be singing an Elephant man song in her head either that or she in Caribana spirit early. For those not in the know J'ouvert - a contraction of the French "jour ouvert", or "day open" - is a large wild frenzy of a street party during Trinidad carnival (night-time event).

Turn round now to see what's going on and I hear her shout out Scoobay (yea was able to hear it properly this time) and this young child comes running up to her. So I'm like no this woman didn't name her child scoobay fa true. No, cant be.

So I'm dying to ask her wait Elephant man is his father or what but I refrain myself as she berated young Scoobay about running off. What a name!

Now we had this old joke in Barbados. Heard it was a true story too. Way way way back in the day before electricity and moto-cars or so a mother takes her baby to christen at the church. Now the mother was illiterate so she got someone to write the name of the child down on a piece of paper and using a safety pin she stuck the name to the child's chest so that she could give it to the priest at the church for the ceremony.

So the ceremony starts and the officiating Priest, as mother and child stand before him, asks 'What is the name of the child.? So the mother looks at the priest and says "it Pin pun she". In bajan that means the name is pinned on the baby. Now certain bajans talk really fast and you cant understand them properly or more likely the priest was an Englishman so he aint really understand the bajan dialect the lady was telling him so he said 'pardon me what did you say the name of the baby was?' The lady turns her head to gesture at the baby's chest where the paper is stuck and replied 'it Pinpunshe'. Well the priest didn't get the gesture cause ya aint know that the man christen the woman chile 'Pinpunshe' fa true!

So apparently poor child had to grow up with the name 'Pinpunshe' because the priest didn't realize that the mother was trying to tell him to look at the paper pinned to the child to see the name.

Now to tell ya the truth if I had a choice between calling my child scoobay or Pinpunshe I think I would got go with Pinpunshe.

stay safe people!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Blocko Sunday

Just doing a little public service announcement for my T-dot people.

Afropan (de peoples band) Toronto's #1 Steel Ban is having a free Blocko at its Panyard 1 Jefferson Avenue Tomorrow (Sunday) evening from 4 to midnight. Its free, its fun, its safe. Come down and be entertained by Afropan and various other Toronto steelbands as well as various DJs.

How ya duz get there? Its the King and Dufferin area (Liberty Village) and Jefferson is the street to the east of Lamport Stadium.

If ya only doing one thing for Caribana and ya frighten of the Lakeshore Saturday and Yonge Street Friday night and the Island next sunday then you can still come to this event and say you supported Caribana.

I dun.

Whoops forgot to mention that its from 4 till midnight

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Blog Strike!

Image hosted by Photobucket.comShow a Brother some Love! We want more comments! Show me the comments! Blog Union Local 335 demands Benefits!

Yes people I know you've been wondering well how come Jdid didn't blog since Monday? Well Jdid was on strike!

Yes that's right you heard me, a brother joined Blog Union Local 335 out of Alameda and was out and about with the pickets trying to demand more comments. Actually they picketed I chilled but they don't have to know that. For awhile we've been disgruntled, putting in lots of hard work on our posts and then where is the love? We've been ignored and laughed at and ridiculed and ...should I go on? Ready to negotiate a settlement yet? Wait a second did you people even realize I was on strike? What do you mean I'm a non-essential service?

Alright, I'm just kidding I wasn't on strike but given the climate that I'm currently living in it would not be surprising if I was. Toronto formerly known as SARs-ville back in 2003 should probably be known as Strikes-Ville in the summer of 2005.

Not that anyone has actually gone on strike besides the Ontario Hydro Engineers who are still on strike but there has been about one threat of a strike per week all summer here in Toronto. Actually back to those Hydro Engineers does anyone realize that they are actually still on strike? You would think we would miss them more given the extreme heat wave (which I'm still loving) and the chance of rolling blackouts and all that but so far aside from a few pickets they've been on strike for at least a month and its not big news.

Anyway like I said its been a strike threat a week for like the longest. I think it started when Star mentioned that the Zoo folk were in strike position back in April pickets at the ready, then the (TTC) transit guys gave us all a good scare by threatening to strike which would have just totally screwed up the city.

Since then I've lost count of the random strike threats. Seems like everyone's collective agreement ended at the same time and they are all in Strike positions. Teachers were basically on work to rule at the end of semester, Library staff were in strike position last week or was that two weeks ago. Parks and Rec staff were ready to drop their tools awhile back, this list just goes on and on.

Yesterday on the subway (as a follow up to the last post I had to push these dudes out of the way Tuesday night when they stopped right inside the train door to read the damn subway map while I was running for the swiftly closing doors.) I was reading one of the free newspapers and I saw that the air traffic controllers, one of our radio stations CBC and the LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario) were all in strike positions this week.

(as an aside let me explain the LCBO to you guys. Alcohol distribution in Ontario is controlled by a government agency called the LCBO. They have their own stores and also give out licenses to bars, restaurants etc I believe. The good thing about this is that we don't have liquor stores on every corner like some parts of the US, the bad thing about this is we don't have liquor stores on every corner like some parts of the US.)

Whoa! Forget CBC and air traffic controllers but LCBO, yo a brother needs to get his drink on in the summer. I'm willing to write to my local MP and MPP and join the picket line if necessary to make sure that this highly valuable nay ESSENTIAL service is maintained. Barring that I'm heading to the closest LCBO outlet and stocking up like its the end of the world. lol

Of course the biggest joke of a strike was the NHL. I'm not a hockey fan and didn't follow the strike but from what I've been hearing it seems like after striking for a full year the players union basically caved to the owners demands. That sucks, not only do you lose a year's pay but you also don't get anything that wasn't offered last year. Oh man!

But the strike threat thing is crazy here in Toronto! There is a running joke in Barbados that workers there, especially the trades and the construction folks, are always ready at the drop of a dime to put down their tools to protest some issue or the other. Well it looks like the strike bug has caught on in T-dot.

And me well here in the summer of the strike I'm ready to dash way the tools, walk off the job, pick up a picket and go walk around in the hot sun protesting...... hold on a minute what was that last part? I'm cool with the walking off the job bit but the picketing umm yea umm I'll get back to you on that one. I'll be home with some LCBO product and y'all can call me and let me know how that picketing thing works out. Show Solidarity? What's a Polish Labour Union got to do with all this man, this here is Toronto, I'm chilling you can protest all you want. Trust me you don't want me to be out there in the hot sun picketing, walking around sweating buckets. That there sounds like field labour to me, brothers aint working no fields no more, ya dun likely to give me a slavery flashbacks and I might go all Nat Turner on ya. Naa I'm a chill on that picket thing. If you want me to write a protest blog or sharply worded email I'm your man but see all this walking up and down in the hot sun with a big placard in my hand thing. Yo dat lawlessness aint workin fa me. Don't get me wrong son I'm a show love to my peeps but yea about the picketing thing umm we need to rethink that strategy. LOL

Monday, July 18, 2005

What more can I say

Well I wasnt planning to blog today. Busy busy at work but I came in early and while having breakfast at my desk I surfed a few blog sites and felt the urge to say something so here goes.

I swear this white woman felt up my head on the bus this morning as she was getting up to get out of the bus and I was still sitting down. Dammit, there was definite cupping action on the ball head, I feel so abused.

Speaking of my transit trials, why is it that some young ladies know they dont have access to a car and will be taking the bus but buy like the biggest baby prams (carriages) in the world? If your baby carriage takes up 80% of the aisle space and is about three seats long dont give me a screw face as I try to squeeze through the aisle. Dont block the aisle and look clueless when people are waiting for you to shift the pram to the side so they can pass either.

Also have you ever noticed how people run for the train? Sometimes you get into the station and you hear the train downstairs or you get on the platform and you can tell instinctively that the train has been there for a couple of minutes and the oh so familiar chimes will soon ring and the doors will close so you start to run. Ok so tell me why is it that when someone runs full speed to the train as soon as they get inside the train doors they just come to a complete halt automatically like they pull up the handbrakes? I mean even when the train is half empty and there is space that they can take a few more steps in? Why is that? Why do I ask because usually when someone is running for the train that person is not alone. Oh no there is usually someone behind them also running, usually me, and if that first person makes it into the train a second ahead of the chimes and the doors are closing and I'm right on their tail and they pull up I have to pull up too just as the doors close in my face. One of these days I gine juss bumrush the train and push dem down ya hear? chupse!

Finally have you ever thought about all the different people on the train in the morning on their way to wherever they are going? Have you ever looked at their faces and wondered whats going through their thoughts? Who woke up on the wrong side of the bed, who is worried, who is happy, who is tired (the majority) , who is wondering why the hell is this black man staring at them. lol.

Ok breakfast over, will chat later. Have a good day.

Saturday, July 16, 2005


So Marlo tagged me and I'm actually responding.

10 years ago: I had just finished undergrad. Thought life was about to begin as I was returning home to hopefully start a new career. That was until I found out I had been accepted into Grad School, then life suddenly fell apart.

5 years ago: Was just settling down to married life after having lived in 4 different countries in less than a year. Was also starting a new job and beginning to apartment hunt. what fun!

1 year ago: Last summer is a blur to me. Besides hanging out at the panyard until the late hours of the morning during July and also being a bit discouraged with how house hunting was going I have no idea what else happened.

Yesterday: I worked, and my office was freezing.

Today: freezing office plus outside being 34 degrees celcius leads me to be sniffling again this morning. Not a happy camper.

Tomorrow: Go check out the Block-O at the panyard maybe even get a chance to play the one song I know.

5 snacks I enjoy: anything Chocolate, tambrind balls, most anything baked, cherries, ackees(guineeps)

5 bands/singers that I know the lyrics of MOST of their songs: KRS-One, Gabby, Grynner, Buju Banton, Public Enemy

Things I would do with $100,000,000:
sigh! pay of the debt, send money for the folks, my brother, help out my friends who need help, invest, start a business, buy real estate, a car, hire a yes man and a food taster, have a money filled equivalent of a waterbed, give to the church, take a break from reality

5 locations I'd like to run away to: Running away doesnt help.

5 bad habits I have: bad habits what are those? I tire of people rapidly, I get lazy when I get bored like the easier something is to do the longer it takes me because its not a challenge, i'm disillusioned, i hold a grudge like rakim holds a mic, i can be very harsh at times

5 things I like doing: Reading, writing, watching movies, listening to music, collecting music

5 things I would never wear: shorts, slippers or sandles, tight t shirts, clothing bought with actually rips, tears and holes in it, bell bottoms

5 TV shows I like: 24, Alias, Dr Who, Battlestar Galactica, Charlie Jade

5 movies I like: Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Once Upon a Time in China, Die Hard, Hard Target

5 famous people I'd like to meet: If they sit around thinking about meeting me then I'm down if not I cant be bothered.

5 biggest joys at the moment:
Joys whats that? Sleep, the warm weather

5 favorite toys: computer, stereo, kinda digging some household tools too

I'm not officially tagging anyone but if you feel to do this go right ahead.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Tales from the retail side

Image hosted by Photobucket.comAll of these are interesting little interludes that occurred with me in food establishments last week actually all within a 48 hr span of Tuesday and Wednesday.

Episode 1)
I've been very busy these days after work not seeing my home till midnight the last few days (hence no decent blogs last week) so I've been doing a fair bit of eating and drinking on the road. On last Tuesday evening after work and having run a few errands on my way to another errand I stopped to pick up something to eat. Just a quick snack really but not fast food.

So I went into this downtown establishment that I frequent on occasion, already knew what I was getting so quickly made my order and stood around to wait while my food was prepared. Another customer was ahead of me and she sat in a chair waiting for her rather large order to be filled as well. As I waited, rather bored I might add, in walks this slim built young lady and another gentleman. The young lady proceeds to place her knapsack on a chair and then walk towards the service area. The gentleman ahead of her has already called in his order so he jumps to the front of the lineup and in a few seconds he's served and out of there. Oh I guess they weren't together as I initially thought. The young lady looked at me and asked if I was in line, I shook my head and hand gestured to say no go right ahead and she made her way to the server who apparently is the owner of the establishment.

Now in a rather soft, pleasant voice the young lady very respectable like said good evening started to speak to the proprietor about flyers for some upcoming event being placed in the restaurant. Somehow and I was close enough to hear the whole conversation so nothing the young lady said was offensive in either content or manner spoken, the owner just was vex from the word go. She immediately raised her hackles and was sternly telling the young lady that no flyers were allowed in the restaurant. The young lady replied well you already have a flyer up for my event. The owner asked who gave her permission to put up that flyer in the first place and it was going to damage her wall and went on a mini tirade about painting her walls etc directed towards the young lady. The young lady assured the owner that she had received permission from someone on the staff to put up the flyer. Still remaining calm the young lady said I just wanted to thank you for allowing us to put up the flyer its not necessary to put up any more, all the while the owner is constantly interrupting her. The young lady said basically I didn't come here to argue I came to offer you tickets to the event for your kindness in allowing us to place the flyers here. Well who tell she say that! For some reason this was the last straw and the owner went ballistic saying 'I don't want no damn tickets' and flying off the handle complaining about the flyer messing up her walls and just in a really aggressive manner chasing the young lady out of the store. All this occurred while like I said other customers were there waiting.

Episode 2)
Rushed out the house Wednesday morning without breakfast. After an uneventful transit ride to work during which I slept most of the way, I decided I'd stop by the Second Cup (its sort of like a Canadian Starbucks but not as jiggy) to hook up a cup of hot chocolate cause ya know my bajan mudda always say ya should drink something warm in the morning to wake up the stomach and get rid of the gas. So apparently Second Cup sells regular "Hot Chocolate" and also "White Hot Chocolate". Actually I completely missed the white hot chocolate bit for the many years I've been going there but one day a few weeks back I went in there and the lady there suggested that I try it since it tastes more like actual chocolate that the other stuff. (Why does the White Hot Chocolate taste more like real Chocolate I ask? Its a conspiracy by the man. There's a blog in there somewhere. lol) Me being the adventurous gourmet said why not and gave it a try and son of a gun wouldn't you know she was right. The white hot chocolate is the ish!

So that morning I go into the Second Cup and I get to the counter and say can I get a "White Chocolate". Lawd ave mercy! If you see the look on the server face when I asked her for a white chocolate ya wudda swear I had just asked a nun to lend me a porno movie. She and the next server look at me in shock and then said "White Chocolate?" I said yes and then suddenly it dawned on them and a look of relief came over their faces "oh you mean white HOT chocolate".

But seriously just by taking out that one word it looked like I had all of them stumped like I had just invented a new menu item and they were going to have a nervous breakdown. The look on their faces was priceless. Made me wonder if I had somehow just only thought about saying white chocolate and instead had opened my mouth and let loose a steady stream of expletives like 'looka gimma a cup dat blasted bleep bleep expensive as bleep bleeping bleep that wunnah duz sell' or something.

Either that or one of them has a secret nickname white chocolate and they wanted to know how I knew about it. Anyway I may have to leave the word hot out again next time I go there just to see that reaction.

Episode 3)
Now I live by certain cardinal rules one of which is other people will get you in trouble so don't listen to them. Last Wednesday evening again in the midst of a long day which ended at about 1 o'clock Thursday morning I'm looking for something for dinner on the road. Was meeting the wife as well so we decided hey lets see if we cant go to this one establishment and get some food. We'll meet there.

So I get caught on the streetcar for like a million years because traffic just seems to be mad crazy at 6:30 even though I'm going what would probably take about 30 minutes to walk. The place we're planning on going closes at 7 so we're cutting it close. Oh Oh! Traffic is backed up and when I do finally step off the street car its around 7 so I hurry to the food spot hoping that de wife is there and has ordered for me. Get there and the door is closed. Damn! So I call de wife cause I figure she should have made it there already but peeping through the windows I don't see her inside.

She's a regular at this spot I should mention while I've only been there once before. So she says I'm a few steps from there why don't you knock on the door and if so n so, the owner, is inside she'll open for you and let you in. I'm like what? She repeats it Why don't you knock on the door and the owner will let you in. Umm but its after closing time and I'm a strange black man. Oh that's no problem she says. Alrighty then!

Now I'm standing there thinking now last time I looked in the mirror I was a tall, skinny broke-ass brother named Jdid not a short fat 'richer than most third world countries' sista named Oprah so I don't know anything about this opening up to allow me to buy anything after closing business. I was never priviledged like that. Mind you I guess I was really tired or dotish because I actually listened to my wife and went and knock on the people door. Dumb dumb move! So the owner comes to the door peeps out with a 'who the hell is this paging me at 5:46 in the morning, crack of dawning' biggie look on her face thinking to herself oh I know that this igrant looking black man aint knocking on my door after he see I put up my we're closed sign. Oh hell no!

So the lady comes out and I say ummm are you closed? Well duhh I did read the sign didn't I? She says yes so I ask if she can make an exception for a brother since its only like 5 after 7 and she's not really really closed. She says no all the while glancing furtively around like she's thinking this man cant be that ignorant he's trying to rob my ass. Seriously I could tell that the woman was a lil agitated and worried that I was up to something

When ya hear the shout now all a sudden de wife show up as the woman was probably getting ready to slam the door in my face or call the police on me. She walk up, hail up the woman by hey first name, tell the woman she hungry and I is she husband and the woman juss open up the door so bram let we in and next thing I know the lady was asking me what I want to order. Blouse n skirt! or as a bajan would say Wha de Rass..... (I in decent company so I cant use those words) juss happen there?

Wha I didn't know the wife had clout like that. Its like she bigger than Oprah den but sorta like a mini Oprah.......Unfortunately without the ooodles and oodles of money as well but I mean even Oprah had her issues with getting the folks in Europe to open up the store after hours for her to shop but here it is my wife just walk up to the woman just so and get we in to get our grub on. Damn! The woman just come through and bram the doors were open, like Moses parting the red sea then, I was in shock let me tell ya. Such clout, who knew, I mean I hear say that woman a run tings but still man I think I should be frighten fa de wife now ya know. I threading lightly.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


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Its hurricane season again and another one is heading through the Eastern Caribbean. Emily is its name.

Hurricane warnings are in effect for St Vincent, St Lucia, Grenada, Tobago and the Grenadines and a Storm Warning is in Effect for Barbados and Trinidad according to the National Hurricane Centre.

To all my people in these areas Kami, Dorna, Titilayo and any other of my blog readers in that area hang in there and stay safe. God go with you.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Every Man pon de hustling

I'm a hustla, I'm a, I'm a hustla

Cassidy - I'm a hustla

Image hosted by Photobucket.comNope today I cant knock the hustle but lately it seems like the hustle just cant stop wont stop. In fact its increasing. I mean T-dot wasn't really the spot for in your face hustling as long as I've been here but lately it seems like the underground market has really picked up. Yea you always had a few questionable characters trying to slide you a deal that seemed way too good to be true but it wasn't like every other day someone was trying to offer you some underground stuff or the other. Its way more in your face now. We aint reaching New York style proportions yet but the hustle is definitely in full E.F.F.E.C.T these days.

Now City TV did a little consumer special about bootleg products yesterday and how purchasing rip off merchandise may be secretly benefiting the mob to the tune of billions of dollars yearly worldwide. I really didn't think about that connection until they mentioned it.

Still I didn't need them to tell me that bootleg stuff was increasing on our streets. All I had to do was go outside and walk around. For some reason I'm a magnet for hustlas from guys selling knock off bus tickets and fake transit tokens to dudes trying to sell me leather jackets out of the trunk of their car (yep this happened to me a few years ago). I figure I either look gullible, rich or somewhat shady or maybe all of the above who knows.

Anyway I've just noticed in recent months that the hustling game has stepped up a notch in the T-dot. A dude walking around with like seven shoe boxes tried to sell me work boots the other day as I was just casually strolling down the street. Word is born! Unfortunately he didn't have my size. lol!

I've even been hearing the rumors about the folk who will take orders on stuff. "Yo you like this outfit, what size you want? Alright give me a week and I'm a hook you up." Then they go and probably through nefarious means they will obtain that item for you. Whoa that's deep. Its like boosting with a shopping list. I mean yea, I heard those types of stories coming out of NYC for like the longest but T-dot. We on the come up it seems. Damn!

And my view on the surge in this underground economy or this surfeit of hustlers is a signal of the way things are going in the land. First its just too easy to copy digital stuff these days with the internet, color printers and high tech computers. I mean cats got the bootleg DVDs and then they got the portable DVD player so you can preview the movie before you buy it these days. Yo that's gangsta son! I almost copped Fantastic Four last week and it wasn't even out yet! That's crazy!

Secondly a lot of desirable authentic items are just too ridiculously priced. Because a dude puts his name on an item that entitles him to sell it for 4 times what it really should cost? Yea Sean John I'm talking to you and some of those other cats who market your gear to young kids who cant afford it. Yea you make nice stuff (well aside from the fact that I don't like having your name plastered all over my body like I'm a walking billboard) but its just not worth the price you sell it at.

Then there is the haute couture stuff like the Gucci, Louis, Fendi (me and sexy Cindy driving down the block like if I was at the Indy! Lets see who gets that line) Dolce Gabbana, Versace and the like. Everybody be sporting those bags these days and I know a lot of them have got to be fakes. I remember a friend showed me how to spot fakes back in the days when he complained that even some legit malls where we were hanging sold a lot of bootleg ish. (Ask me about the bag of watches under the counter, the fake not so good rollies but the amazingly accurate TAG-Heurer replica watches that he hooked me up with another time.) Unfortunately as time has gone on fakes have gotten amazingly realistic and its far more difficult to spot them now than it was before. Still if a dude is selling them out of the back of his trunk or the price is too good to be true odds are dude is on the hustle and that ish is a knock off.

Thirdly everyone is making something on the side these days. I guess most folks have wised up to the fact that the only way to really make money is to go for self. You may survive on a 9 to 5 thing but you aren't getting rich off that stuff. Not when the man is trying to make a profit and will keep his boot heel on your neck for as long as he possibly can. (Rise up people rise up!) Got to hustle to get ahead I guess. Yea you may not think about it as much as the bootleg guys but the dudes selling the little oils and musks and the hand made tams and jewelry are also on the hustling too. They just set up a little table somewhere or the other and are trying to get paid. Yea its not that the goods they're selling are bootleg, illegal or stolen but do those cats pay taxes if they are set up on the street (I'm not talking about the legit craft sellers at spots like Harborfront now)?

Dudes trying to sell me their little locally made CD promoting their new hip hop or funk sound. Its not even hood promotion cause they are on main thoroughfares doing that. Seems like the underground is the way to get the product out there and bypass the majors. Seems like cats are really taking this entreprenueralism thing to the next level. By any means necessary said Malcolm, The Streets is watching say Jay-Z. Street Entreprenualism is one of the 9 elements of hip hop after all.

'I'm in factory working hustling on the side
I see the informers lurking
Trying to break my stride
How you fi stop man hustling
Trying to swallow my pride
I gat picknee fi feed an a woman a breed
An you nearly mek me loose my life'

Wayne Wonder - Informer

I think that this more visible profile of the underground economy here in the T-dot is a signal that the everyman just isn't making it these days. Like Wayne Wonder said in the above quote man have pickney (children) to feed and with inflation and gas price so high and just basic living being expensive sometimes people just go for a route where they can make some cash on the side. Its been happening since long time gwan! back in the day moms would work her 9 to 5 at the factory or working for some rich folks but on the side she'd have her little needlework thing going or make pudding and souse on weekends or bake or whatever. We do what we do to stay alive right?

And so the hustle continues to increase.

Yo a brother got to get his blog hustle on. Where's my street team? Anyone want to cop this new Doan Mind me blog, its by this local brother Jdid (ask about me, ask about me), Diddy, J-Deniro, the Jdid One, ya heard! Yo word is born son, that ish is the illest, son he gets crazy with the wordplay. Its the truth, you'll laugh you'll cry, you'll say word! Canadian made, support homegrown talent, T-dot represent knowahatimsaying! nahmean? I'm a even hook you up with a two paragraph preview. Yo I'm just trying to pay some bills son, come on hook up a copy of this joint right here. Yo I guarantee that you'll love this.

I don't think that going to work. Got to find another hustle.

I'm a hustla, I'm a I'm a hustla, homie,
I'm a hustla, I'm a I'm a hustla homie
ask about me, ask about me!

Monday, July 11, 2005

White Teeth

Image hosted by Photobucket.comAnd I'm not talking about Zadie Smith's debut novel.

You'd have to be living on Mars not to have noticed that in the past few years the oral hygiene industry has ramped up a huge campaign for whiter teeth. Where once you had to go into the dentist for a cleaning or some expensive laser whitening treatment now there are numerous pastes, gels and strips that one can apply to one's teeth to give you that perfect white tooth smile.

Stepping back a bit from this comment, I remember back in the day going to a dentist who was trying to convince me I needed braces to correct some small gap in my teeth because as he put it to me you cant get ahead in this world without a good smile. Hmm maybe that explains my present predicament, I'd probably be paid in the shade if I had taken his advice. Oh well, I was a student at that time, I was broke and I wasn't trying to use my university tuition to send him on an additional vacation to Europe. Hell no!

Anyway back to this perfect smile business. You cant escape the advertising these days. Whitening crystals, new whitening formulas, just put on overnight for new whiteness, brush on and see results etc. Y'all remember liquid paper (correction fluid) that you would put on your ink page to erase a mistake when you had a handwritten paper to hand in (I'm dating myself aint I?) Well I think I see something so on the market already for teeth; just brush on and instant white teeth. LOL. I should still try a ting an see if I cant find somebody stupid enough to put real correction fluid on their teeth though. Well since no one writes with pens anymore I have to find a use for the product ya know!

Although I can confess to using some of the whitening products, not seriously just like I bought a toothpaste and it had some whitening agents in it, I still remain a bit skeptical about the chemistry behind this process though. Fast forward a few years in the future and who knows nuff man might be walking around with dentures because this whitening thing cause his teeth to drop out and leff him with bare gums. lol

So Sunday morning I'm taking a break from cooking and I turn on the TV. Now Sunday morning TV is absolutely dreadful unless you want to watch televangelists and informercials. I found this movie with Renee Zelweigger and Chris O'Donnell (no idea of the name) on TBS but I wasn't feeling it so I channel surfed a bit and came across the informercials.

I had been laughing at de wife for watching some silly informercial about some new age corset (except they don't call it a corset any more and its made of new space age fibers) which lifts, squeezes, tucks and basically is a tool used by women to fool men the world over just like the damn wonderbra. That stuff should be illegal! lol. Of course secretly I had been watching an informercial for Time Life's Soul Ballad collection (not available in stores) which looks like the bomb but certainly isn't worth no 4 payments of $37.95 (not in this age of internet downloads).

So anyway there I was channel surfing when I came across a sight of some persons with this weird device clamped between their lips. Whoa hold up, what's this? Its called the Ion something (I know the name but I wont link it exactly) and it looks like a space age cross between a plastic mouth organ and those breathing devices that Obi Wan and Qui-Gon used on Naboo in Episode 1.

The informercial went something like this. Put the device in your mouth for 20 minutes and voila whiter teeth. I stayed transfixed to the screen watching random folks recommend the product and bling blinging with the white teeth while waiting to hear the typical informercial background voice tell me how this device worked.

Apparently you place a gel in the part you bite down on and then you place your teeth in the gel and then these LED light things activate the 'harmless' gel and in 20 minutes it works wonders on your teeth. Wow! That's pretty amazing.

So there are like a million 'random' people giving testimonials.
"I've tried strips and they never got my teeth that white."
"Wow this is incredible, look how white my teeth are!"
"I feel like a movie star!"
"and just in 20 minutes this is great, look at my before picture and my after picture"
"It even got rid of the coffee stains!"
"Why would I go to the dentist and pay hundreds of dollars when I could use this?"
Of course there were missing a random bajan fella who would do something so
'You, boss man lemma tell ya this! Looka, see me, my teeth did look real black den cause I used ta smoke nuff nuff cigarettes and I is a man dat love ta eat nuff nuff roast corn an ting so. But dem gi me this thing an at first I was like boss you musse tek me fa a pieca idiot cause I aint puttin dat igrant looking ting in my mouth but the fellas convince me ta do um and looka hayso (While grinning broadly) 20 minutes lata my teeth brand new den! cheese on bread I styling den, the chossels (girlfriends, women) gine like this bad bad bad."

In my opinion the best testimonial came from this lady who said "Not only do my teeth look whiter but they feel whiter too!" Feel whiter too, umm lady thats probably because the product is eating away the damn enamel on your teeth.

I mean seriously they are promoting this product and saying you get better results in 20 minutes than with 2 hrs of laser treatment at the dentist. Did I hear correct? Two hours of laser treatment? Laser treatment? You mean lasers those things that cut through stuff, that space men duz shoot at one another? Those focused light rays that are used to clean off objects and leave them looking all spick and span? Lasers that can be used for pretty much anything and your products are stronger on teeth than lasers? I don't know about you but that scares the hell out of me.

I'm not putting that thing in my mouth if they pay me. I would go the Slick Rick route "Great Scott are you a thief seems like you have a mouth full of Gold teeth" first before I put any of that stuff in my mouth. Cause anything that when used for 20 minutes is stronger than a 2 hr laser session highly disturbs me.

But I figure those same fellas that selling this thing this year going to come back next year when all their product users teeth fall out and be selling dentures made with a space age polymer developed by NASA or something so. Actually I should be looking to get some shares with them boy now that I think about it! Looka ignore everything I just say go and buy the people product and let me mek some money. :-)

Saturday, July 09, 2005

It figures

Well this week has been one of the most tiring of my life. Now I'm having blog restart issues. Like pretty much I was rolling along on momentum just writing my random thoughts until this week when I basically shut this down. Damn now its hard to actually sit here and put words to page. This sucks!

Oh well got to try. Anyway it appears to be JDid allergy season just one of the negative issues I had to deal with this week. I'm not really a seasonal allergy person, used to have my reaction to ragweed in September every year when I first came here but aside from that its been good especially in the last few years. Of course stupid me had to move to the damn suburbs where the pollen and that sort of stuff is denser in the air.

Since two weekends ago my eyes have been going crazy. Thought that maybe I had rubbed my eyes without washing my hands after handling something dirty and had infected them or something because they were itching and watering like crazy. And it doesn't help that I lost my clip-on shades cause now with itchy eyes the sun's bugging me too. Chupse! Eyes been going so crazy in fact that I had to hit the doctor's this week cause the Benadryl and Claratin and all that over the counter product wasn't working.

Anyway it was a bit better after his prescription eye drops ...... until this morning. Then I was in the yard doing some stuff and I realized what I'm allergic to. Clue Number 1 that you are a city boy: You are allergic to grass of all things. Or is it just grass seeds? Was doing what I've been doing for a few weeks now, trying to reseed part of the back yard. As soon as I finished putting down the seed, the allergies came back with a vengeance. The eyes aren't so bad because of the drops but the rest of me is going crazy. Nose running like it training for the Boston Marathon, throat kind of weird. I've gone through like a couple boxes of tissue for my nose in like the last few hours. Oh well took a Benadryl so now I feel spacy. I hate drugs but I had no choice!

Ok so there we have it a new blog. Still have the restart issues but it wasn't as hard as I thought after I had first looked at this blank page. Oh and sorry to you folks whose page I haven't been able to get to this week, will try and catch up next week.


Thursday, July 07, 2005

London Jamaica

Well Terrorists struck again it seems. This time in London England. Hope that everyone out there in London like Obi and any of my other readers are ok.

Also to my peeps in Jamaica I know you guys are bracing for Hurricane Dennis. I hope it doesnt hit too hard or better yet doesnt hit at all. Stay safe people. One Love

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

oh snap!

Image hosted by Lil Kim's going to jail. And yes I did deliberately decide to use a photo where she's half dressed. Oh right lke I had the time to search for the one random photo where she looks decent.

Aruba, Aruba

Sorry no time to get thoughts together lately. Told you guys I'd be posting less in July. Anyway just saw this article and decided to repost it here. Got it off Yahoo from here.

Ala. Mother's Comments Anger Some Arubans

By JOSEPH B. FRAZIER, Associated Press Writer Wed Jul 6, 8:08 AM ET

ORANJESTAD, Aruba - A latent but growing resentment here became evident for the first time when more than 200 people, some wrapped in Aruban flags, said they were incensed by statements made by the mother of a missing American teen.

Those assembled outside the colonial courthouse in this Caribbean capital Tuesday night said they fear their tiny island nation is falsely being portrayed as not doing enough to find Natalee Holloway, the Alabama girl who vanished May 30 on a graduation trip with her high school class.

Two brothers, Deepak Kalpoe, 21, and Satish Kalpoe, 18, who had been held as suspects were released Monday for lack of evidence.

In a brief and tearful statement Tuesday, Beth Holloway Twitty, Natalee's mother, accused Aruba of letting guilty people free.

"Two suspects were released yesterday who were involved in a violent crime against my daughter," she said.

"These criminals are not only being allowed to walk around among the tourists and citizens of Aruba," she said, but there were no limits on where they could go.

The protesters took umbrage with those statements.

"Respect our Dutch laws or go home," read one sign. "Innocent until proven guilty," read another. One suggested the missing girl might not be dead but partying in Brazil or nearby Venezuela.

There were complaints that some American television coverage unfairly depicted the island, which depends overwhelmingly on tourism, and as being crime- and drug-ridden.

Though poverty is widespread in the Caribbean, Aruba has an unemployment rate of less than 1 percent and one of the higher standards of living. And it has few worries. Tourism and a major refinery bring in the money. Diplomatic and defense needs, such as they are, are provided by the Netherlands.

"Have you been treated badly in Aruba?" asked Ramon Garcia, a burly tourist guide. "We are together with the family of Natalee, but we love Aruba too, man. We don't need these pressures. We are a friendly island."

Orlando Flanigan said his country had given "all out hearts, all out cooperation, everything," to help find Natalee. "It's time we got some respect back," he said.

"They are making us look like a banana republic, he said. "We are an educated and cultured people, many of us speak four or five languages."

John Maywether told a growing crowd that Aruba is not an island of criminals. "We have 96 (prison) cells and 53 percent of them are occupied by non-Arubans," he said.

"We are here to ask that you trust our legal system," he said, recalling that Arubans turned out in large numbers for Natalee after she vanished and that prayers were offered for her safe return in local churches.

Arubans note that local banks raised $20,000 and provided other help to a group of volunteers from Texas, who are still here, could continue their search for the girl.

But there has been no sign of her. Three F-16 jets sent by the Dutch government were to start flying grid patterns on Wednesday, taking offshore photographs hoping for clues.

On Monday the courts extended for 60 days the detention of Joran van der Sloot, 17, the son of a judge-in-training, the only person still in detention and possibly the last person to see Natalee Holloway alive.

After that time he can be released, ordered to trial or detained further.

Lincoln Gomez, an Oranjestad defense lawyer not connected to the case, said the Kalpoe brothers still could face indictment until they are formally notified that charges won't be brought.

See how dem a treat Caribbean people? If they aint got no evidence against the fellows how can they hold them? How can the mother get and call them criminals and they haven't evidence to say whether they were involved in ding something to the girl. Anyway not surprising anything not in the US is going to be look like its backwater to these folk so they will try and disrespect them. After all its only a small country. Chupse!

Be back later this week with my curry goat cricket post :-)

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Fugees are bizack!

Well I watched a bit of the first repeat of the BET awards last night. Figured they will repeat it so many times I'll eventually see it all.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comActually what drew me to the broadcast was the Fugees. For my money the performance was rather lackluster. I really wasn't that surprised because my man had warned me the night before that the best part of the performance was Pras. Ouch! And Lauryn's voice was kind of off too yikes!

And if you were following me back in November last year you would have seen in these said same pages my reasons why the Fugees should just let it die and not try to go the reunion route. 'Put down the microphone ha'.

Actually during this performance what really grabbed me was Lauryn. You know I got to take time out to make fun of the patron saint of the poetry reciting, incense burning, natural hair, headwrap and slipper wearing so called righteous sistas who hang out at spoken words events. Well I'll be damned if the patron saint wasn't rocking a old school wig for her performance. What we don't see her for like 4 years and she comes back looking like a lost member of the supremes or was that one of the wigs she stashed from the Doo Wop video? Whatever it was I just found it delightful for some strange reason. Yea I hate on Miss Hill so what?

As for the rest of the show what can I say:

Ciara was humping a car again. Cant take credit for that line I got it from the Brutha Code a while back and everytime I see her dance on that car that line pops into my head.

Destiny's Child gave lap dances to some men on stage. I think Terrence Howard was getting a tad bit aroused by all that Beyonce badunkadunk rubbing up on him. Oh my! Kelly gave a lap dance to Nelly and Michelle gave a lap dance to Magic Johnson. Actually speaking of Magic Johnson I've always wanted to say this after seeing him on TV. The dude is built like a wall. I mean how many bolts of cloth do they use to create one of his suits? If Nike was making him a suit they'd probably use their whole pool of child labor to get that suit made on time.

Remy Ma did a presentation with Fat Joe. I think she has decided to fill that apparently ever so desirable niche of most scantily clad female rapper left vacant by the disappearance of Lil Kim and Foxxy Brown. Its a pity too cause homegirl can actually rap.

John Legend what can I say, let me just put it out there as sensitively as I can. There is something questionable about the way homeboy looks. I'm not saying he is or he isn't I'm just saying there's something about homeboy. Read whatever you want into that.

Tom Cruise was there with his annoying smile.

The front rows of the audience were full of unknowns and wannabes. Couldn't they get A list celebs to come to the show or did they have ticket giveaways for the loudest members on 106 and park? I mean its pretty sad when Trina is like in Row 25 and a bunch of people who evoke a 'who the hell is that?' response are crowding the front. At least last year the Wayan Brothers were all up in the front getting their vibe on but this year its like they got some chicks from Spring Bling and made them celebs for a day.

Mary J needs a proper hairstyle but her duet with Game was tight.

Missy needs to stop chewing gum in public all the damn time. It just looks lawless.

Jada ended up looking 'iight during the show but when she came out with Will at the beginning what the hell was she wearing. Looked like she was trying to become a female member of the old school 1980s version of the Furious Five. Homegirl had me like the Liks all I could say was Damnn! and not in a good way.

Anyway I've bashed enough, this is what happens when you cant think of anything good to write.