Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Merry Christmas

and a happy new year to all. I'm taking a blog break for a while. Gone on vacation for a few. Hope all my readers and fellow bloggers have a blessed and safe holiday season. And yes I'm saying Merry Christmas and not happy holidays if ya offended go somewhere else.

oh and eat nuff nuff nuff cause well if ya dont put on weight in the Christmas season how can you make the new years resolution to lose weight? :-)

peace! (to all men and women too)

Sunday, December 17, 2006


So I'm walking through the cosmetic department of a department store today when all of a sudden I realize not only are they not playing Christmas music but they are playing dancehall music. And not only are they playing dancehall music, which isn't such a big deal these days since BET and urban radio discovered Sean Paul and Elephant Man, but they are playing old dancehall music like early 90s dancehall music. Whoa!

Of course as I walked through irony of ironies what should be playing in the cosmetic department but Cutty Ranks lyrics of 'Retreat ugly gal surrender retreat pretty gal come fe tek ova". I wonder if anyone besides me noticed? Oh well.

Saturday, December 16, 2006


So its Christmas time, the time of giving and all that. Bah humbug! Just had to get that out of my system.

No seriously Christmas is a time for giving and I always remember even back home Christmas was when the Salvation army guys came out and set up shop on various corners of the city soliciting funds for the more needy. Nothing wrong with that.

Anyway I still see Salvation army folk up here in the T dot asking for funds for the less well off but Christmas in terms of collecting funds has become to me about the calls and the letters.

It seems as if when you give any donation to any charity they share your name with a million other charities who then proceed to attempt to solicit your help. Now in all fairness aint anything wrong with giving but if I'm giving 10 dollars here and there don't expect me to hoist every single charity on my back and give them 10 dollars because that money duz add up quicker than you think and in no time at all I would be one of those less fortunate, more needy, folks who need help as well. Ya understand?

So if I give to some children's thing or to help the homeless don't expect me to give to the Wild life fund and all the hospitals and the diabetes association and the cancer association and the prostrate cancer association and the save the planet fund and the adopt a starving child somewhere else in the world cause pretty soon my pockets would be bare and my child would be starving too.

Yea I know that's not what you want to hear. Its the season of giving so give selflessly. Well in my opinion selflessly can only go so far and sorry if that's not a very seasonal or Christian thing to say but its the truth. Ya got to give within your means same as you should spend within your means. That don't mean you cant be extra generous all I'm saying is you cant support every fella with a charity.

I'll help who I can but at the same time I aint saving no blind bats in Peru or hard of hearing owls in China. I might give something to a child fund here and there and a research foundation might get a one time thing but all animals got to break for themselves. When it come down to it I supporting starving people over animals any day. And also when it comes down to it I supporting people I know over people I don't know. If you live in east Mongolia I aint saying you don't deserve money but there is probably a poor fella in the Caribbean or a single mother with three kids in Toronto that I would give my money to first. Say what ya want about my rational and I realize the logic in a bit wrong but sorry that's the truth.

And another thing. In these letters I receive soliciting assistance why is it that the authors feel it is necessary to give me labels and calendars and pins and all sorts of memorabilia? Trust me that don't bribe me into giving anything cause the way I look at it its like so y'all want my money to buy knick knacks to give away to get other people money instead of giving the money directly to the actual cause that needs it. Sorry buddy that doesn't work for me.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Touch the sky

I guess when Kanye made that song he didnt realize that Touch the Sky was short for "Put your hands in the air, Touch the sky and give me all your money lol."

Yep the legendary Evil Knievel is suing Kanye over the Touch the Sky video. Cant blame him really after all its a crappy video and Kanye is an annoying arrogant s.o.b and in the video it wasnt too hard to figure out who he was impersonating. What I find funny though is that in Knievel's suit you would think that he (Kneivel) walked around with a halo on his head.

Knievel says in the suit "the “vulgar and offensive” images depicted in the video damage his reputation."

Ummm what reputation? Last I checked Mr Evil your name wasnt Pastor Kneivel, you werent a moral signpost for anyone, no one was hanging onto your words like a televangelist, you aint even made a stay in school special son. You were a madman jumping over obstacles in death defying stunts. Parents were like "boy you is a idiot or what! dont do that foolishness dat you see he doing on tv and go and pop ya neck. he head could only be bad trying to jump over a grand canyon. chupse!"

So how does this very tame video I might add ruin your reputation?

I mean if you dont like Pamela Anderson, Tracee Ellis Ross or Nia Long just come out and say so but dont make it seem like the video is something its not.

Its a cheesy video about a guy jumping over the grand canyon getting mad press while a couple of girls are on his jock (wait hold up does anyone use the phrase on your jock anymore or am I showing how un-hip I really am).

As an aside Kanye is one of the few guys who makes videos that actually turn me off from songs. The All Falls down video with Stacey Dash completely ruined that song for me. Ruined I say ruined!

But back to Knievel. If anything I'd be mad cause at the end of the video the Kanye Evil Knievel character crashes and burns in his stunt attempt but come on guy.

And the whole "and he uses my image to catapult himself on the public,” umm Dr umm Mr Evil Kanye was getting mad press before he used your image in his video. He aint no johnny come lately trying to use you to get some shine. Ever heard a little ditty called Jesus walks that was all over the radio 24-7 a few years ago. Yep that was him and umm your likeness aint nowhere in there.

Still like I said cant blame Mr Evil for the suit. He probably needs the cash and Kanye did use his likeness but lets not go overboard with the hyperbole about vulgar images now.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Public Service Announcement

Sigh! Just for the record its called a dress shirt not a button up.

Don't let Jay Z and a bunch of other stupid rappers steer you wrong! Think about it. If you're over the age of ten you grew up with your father, or your uncle wearing a dress shirt to work or church even if they only went for a funeral. None of this button up nonsense. That dude in the bank who used to cash your mom's cheques used to wear a dress shirt, the big office executive used to wear a dress shirt, nuh button up, probably one that was monogramed and he might have some nice cufflinks and that sort of business to look nice. Your grandfather used to wear one heavy with cassava starch to keep it looking sharp and wrinkle free. Nobody didn't want to look ruff dry, and check the link if ya not sure what I talking about when I say ruff dry. Look even you as a child had to put on one maybe with a little clip-on tie to wear to church so you know what I'm talking about. Dress shirt not button up.

Look button up is what you do to a dress shirt. Its an action or description for what is done to the shirt not the name for the shirt. I mean while its true we might call sweaters pullovers and I just alluded to the clip-on let those be the exceptions lets not change up the vocabulary with this button up nonsense.

I mean you don't hear anyone saying I put on a "throw over me head" or a "throw-over" when they are talking about t-shirts or vests do you? Or this morning when I was putting on my "one foot at a time" or "one foot" to describe putting on pants do you?

And what happen if you button your shirt from top to bottom? Doesn't that legitimately make a button up a button down?

Alright I've said my piece. Be forewarned. Dress shirt not button up.

Thank you!

and yes I do know that Button up is supposed to be only one type of dress shirt.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

5 things

I've been tagged. Not really a meme fan but I'm not really blogging much these days so here goes.

Five things you didn't know about me.
p.s: don't expect anything too deep.

1) I'm not one of those try everything once people. I'll try very specific things and if its something I actually find I like I really go all out to be better than mediocre in it. I despise mediocre.

2) I used to do spoken word poetry but I dislike, with very few exceptions, most spoken word poets. I find them too self righteous and most of their work is just way too performance driven anyways.

3) "I like to rock 100 miles but you know I'm far from running" - Showbiz on Maestro's Fine Tune the Mic. Just found out the clothing line isn't dead yet either so that made my day.

4) In another life I would/should have been a DJ. A good one too.

5) I'm seriously considering giving up blogging at the moment.

Not tagging anyone but if you feel the urge to do this. Go with it.

Thursday, December 07, 2006


Ok besides talking to myself (and I mean full blown conversations like Eminem and Stan) there is also this weird bit I do to relax myself occasionally.

I start whistling or singing that silly 'These are a few of my favourite things' tune. Its not like I'm a Sound of Music fan or anything, actually despise the movie, but I think it started a few years ago and then I realized hey this tune is infectous and just by whistling it I can piss people off cause it gets into their head and then they too start to sing it. Oh alternatively I'll email some of my friends and be like I'm singing that Favourite things song again and start quoting the words and it gets into their heads too. I love that.

Oh and occasionally I remix it (hey they dont call me diddy for nothing lol). I've got a dancehall remix, an opera remix, a beatbox remix and my all time favorite a bajan remix sung in a totally off-key definitive bajan voice with words like 'when de dog bite ya, when de bee sting ya, when you feeling real real bad, i duz simply remember my favourite things an den i doan feel sooooooo sad'

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


I haven't written much lately cause to be honest I've lost my writing mojo and its not groovy man. Word to Austin Powers! Just not feeling the vibe, what can I say.

Anyway much love to those who wished my happy birthday.

Also much love to the T-dot bloggers that I linked with on Friday night. It was nice to put faces to some of the bloggers whose sites I frequent. What can I say they are really nice folk (except fa dem Scarborough people. Boy I frighten fa them, just kidding), lots of fun too ....BUT the Toronto bloggers are so wrong!!! Oh gosh man I could tell you about the nice dinner and conversation and how everybody cool and that sort of business but no let me tell wunnah about Eduardo and Scott. Now Cranky already did a blog about those two and I aint trying to mash her corns or anything cause she did a good job but I felt I had to write about Eduardo and Scott from where I was sitting (which was the worse seat in the house for the show).

Look at this thing. We (the bloggers) meet up around 7-730 ish. Had dinner, passed on dessert and were handed the bill at 901 pm. The waiter was like "well look if wunnah aint having no dessert don't play wunnah sitting around liming up in my restaurant, pay the bill and leff. Wunnah cant be liming bout here like is Yonge Street Caribana Friday".

Ya think we got the hint? Nuh uh!

1030 is the time these people (myself included) leave the people restaurant. Ya know why? Wasn't cause we was conversating and chatting and exchanging wittisisms and blog trivia ya kno. It was solely because people was maliciousing on Eduardo and Scott. Ok that word maliciousing is a bajan word so I will have to explain for some of you guys. It mean that they/we were being nosy in other people business.

Imagine this, I sitting down and all a sudden I notice Cranky and a few others gone silent and staring intently in my direction past me with this troubled look on their face. I figure the police behind there ready to Rodney King me so I starting to get worried but no they staring at the folks at the next table. I cant even look around and stare to see who they looking at so all I can do is go by the looks on their faces as to what going on.

You would think it was a soap opera. It was two guys speaking intently having a very intimate intense type conversation from the sounds of it. Next thing how I realize that these bloggers was seriously maliciousing in the people business was when out of the blue they name the two men Eduardo and Scott and start concocting background stories about how Scott left he wife for Eduardo and Eduardo want to go back home to he two pickney and whole flashback scene they figure out while watching the couple. Imagine that!

Hanging onto every emotion emerging from the table. I hear all sort of talk about how Eduardo being firm now he angry now he coy and running the whole spectrum. Dinner the spectator sport what can I say.

Miss Straight from Scarborough was next to me and my girl pull out she compact pretending she fixing she face and staring back at Scott and Eduardo. Somebody been watching too much police shows on tv lol. Then she just move seats to get a clearer view. Well well well! Meanwhile me and Mocha cant see anything cause we aren't facing the Eduardo/Scott table and we cant just turn around our chairs and face them but every few minutes the fella with no "handle" telling me that my big head blogging their view of the couple. chupse! :-)

See how these Toronto bloggers does operate? Don't let them people know ya business boy. Ya would be in trouble!

Then to show ya how feisty these people is you wouldn't imagine what they do next. Yes people take pictures of Eduardo and Scott! These people brazen nuh! I know somebody out there saying "Noooo ya lie!". Nuh uh! Under the pretense of taking some photos of the flower arrangements certain people turn paparazzi on the couple. Seriously ya would swear it was Bradgelina or even Tie and who she name sitting across from us.

Ya aint know that if Eduardo and Scott didn't leave the restaurant we would still be there right now. People talking about no we aint leaving we want to see a resolution between the couple. We want closure. Well well well.

Next time I think Scott and Eduardo going to have to start selling tickets to dinner. I mean at the very least if they providing entertainment for all a we they might as well get a free dinner out of it.

All in all a fun time had by everyone (Eduardo and Scott excluding) though. What can I say the bloggers are good folks ....but it was a struggle to even write this blog. I'm talking some more time off. Peace!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Dec 3

Tomorrow may never come
For you or me
Life is not promised
Tomorrow may never show up
For you and me
This life is not promised
I ain't no perfect man
I'm trying to do, the best that I can,
With what it is I have
I ain't no perfect man
I'm trying to do, the best that I can,
With what it is I have

Umi Says - Mos Def

Another year another birthday. So what exactly does it say about you when you share the same birthdate as Ozzy Osbourne?

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Sick, disturbing, horrendous, cruel, dreadful, evil. I for once am at a loss of words to adequately describe the story in the news that a woman willingly microwaved her 1 month old who later died.

I hope and pray it was one of those she has mental issues or she didn't realize how microwaves work and she was just trying to keep the child warm things so that I could somehow excuse her. But ya know what? I don't think its anything like that. I think it was deliberate and to be honest its times like this that I wish we had a more eye for an eye tooth for a tooth type punishment system cause she deserves the same pain she inflicted on her innocent child.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Life happens

So much for every day in the entire month of November. I made it almost three weeks but then life happened. Oh well I tried.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


I wanted to blog about that Kramer thing again today. Saw a recording of the 'apology' and I'm still trying to find a word that adequately describes it. It was one of the lamest apologies I've ever seen. I mean if I was dude I'd have claimed I was having a Mariah moment and checked myself into a hospital or something.

And what's with issuing the apology on Letterman? Letterman is lame, I mean come on man if you're going to do it on a late night show and not saying you should then by all means hit up Jay Leno.

Naa but seriously if you're going to apologize apologize in a serious forum not on late night tv after 1130 when decent people gone in ther beds.

Still after having watched the video of his tirade I dont know if one can really apologize for that behaviour. As one comedian said, a line was crossed. Yea we all have our moments when we just go off and we might say some stuff thats not our true feeling and we might go too far but sometimes alot of what is said is what you really feel deep down just finally surfacing so one has to wonder about Richards comments.

Anyways I'm not in a blogging mood tonight so I'll leave the thought half finished.

Monday, November 20, 2006

This and that

- Saw a lady on the RT tonight reading Buzz Marketing with Blogs for Dummies tonight. Made me wonder if there was a Blogging for Dummies and sure enough there is. Mind you it begs the question if you are actually a dummy should you be blogging in the first place?

- No I aint telling wunnah what I saw at the supermarket but yes I did see something. Abeni ya too malicious :-)

- Was going to blog this yesterday, saw it Sunday night on CNN but couldn't find a link online. Its about Michael Richards aka Kramer going off on some black folks who heckled him during his standup routine using all sorts of racist language. Actually here you can get an idea of what he said. Personally I think they should have kicked his ass.
I used to like this guy but hmmm no wonder there were no black folks on Seinfeld. Shame on him. No soup for you! Mind you now Jerry Seinfeld is trying to defend him, guess it all comes down to whether this tirade ruins Seinfeld's legacy and how will it affect their DVD sales. Oh well in 3 months all will be forgotten. Booooo!

- Heroes is the best new show of the season. Nuff said! Only way they can ruin it now is to put tights, leotards and capes on them. Aye Caramba!

- Was it just me that got a kick out of yesterday's Simpson send up of a upper society literary function? When Jonathan Franzen and Michael Chabon started fighting it was hilarious!

- If you want to check out some cool stuff check my homie, the international man of mystery with his collection of videos from his globetrotting. I think I know who to go to when I'm ready to drop my hot new hip hop dancehall video. :-)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Casino Royale

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingI wasn't completely convinced when I first heard that Daniel Craig was going to be the new James Bond. Well actually first I had to go google him to find out who he was but after finding out he was the dude from Tomb Raider I really didn't see him as being a good fit with the Bond franchise.

I mean it was bad enough he was a new Bond replacing a fan favorite in Pierce Brosnan who was just a natural fit with the suave, debonair charm but then Craig just didn't look the part of a Bond. Maybe they should have gone with a Jude Law even a Ewan Mcgregor hell even a Mike Myers might be better than Daniel Craig. Yeaaahhh Baby!

It wasn't just the blond hair and blue eyes but he just didn't have the style of the others. He came off as this rough cat, ready to rumble not the oh so cool, unflappable under pressure Bond of a Connery, or Moore or Brosnan. Were they sure they got it right?

Well the 40 Million that the movie made this weekend and the critics reviews say that they did get it right. And I agree.

I saw the movie on Friday and its actually pretty good and a great fit for Craig as the new Bond.

The movie plays to Craig's talents. Sure in the beginning his presence seemed a bit unsettling to me especially when they focus on those steely blue eyes but as time wears on he looks more and more Bond. This is a whole new Bond though, not as charming, not as unflappable, a more realistic super agent.

Craig's Bond is in some ways the antithesis of Brosnan's Bond. I mean Die Another Day starts with Brosnan's Bond imprisoned and tortured for years and that Bond while wrinkled and shabby still manages to emerge looking rather cool and unrattled. Craig on the other hand is "bruised, battered and scarred but hard" from the movie's fast paced start to the end. Constantly bloodied, bullied and tortured but yet still showing the renowned Bond resolve to solve the puzzle and get his man ...or woman.

He fights roughly, he killed roughly. This Bond is not smooth, he's ready to die like Biggie, he's a thug. He fights frantically like his life is on the line and in most cases it is. He doesn't have time for the sophisticated stuff and the gadgets, or the pretense that everything will be ok. He's a brawler and you feel the raw intensity of his fights.

And in the ladies department? Everyone knows the Bond who charms the pantalones off the ladies. The player Bond! Well this Bond is less of a player than his predecessors. He's less smooth. Moreso seeming to annoy the ladies than overwhelm them with his charm as illustrated by one of my favorite exchanges in the movie between him and Bond girl Vesper Lynd played by Eva Green.

Lynd " So will I have any more trouble from you Mr Bond?"
Bond: "No you're not my type."
Lynd: "What smart?"
Bond: "No single"

The supporting cast in this movie is quite good as well. Green makes a great Bond girl actually rising above the average. Judi Densch gives her usual commanding performance and my boy Jeffrey Wright (aka Peoples Hernandez for all you Shaft fans) gets a nice little role too although he's under-utilized.

And what is Bond without a good villain? I've always liked the fact that Bonds villains are always villainous looking. You can never mistake them for the good guy because there is always some disturbing physical trait they carry that immediate stamps them as somehow evil. Casino Royale's Le Chiffre is no different and Mads Mikkesen does an excellent job with that portrayal.

Still the movie comes down to Craig's Bond. Craig's Bond shows a vulnerability that the other Bonds didn't. He's hesitant, he makes mistakes, he gets played, he's more human than the others. This isn't your usual Bond but it works because of Craig and the script as this movie is more about a young double-0 on his first real mission. Question is will it work as the series moves on and we see a Bond with more experience under his belt.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Untold story

Wait I tell wunnah I get flash at the supermarket today? I aint tell wunnah? Good cause I aint telling nun a wunnah this story!

Lawd ave mercy! Yes is true, it happen! How I know? How I know? How you mean how I know? I was there man, I see it big and bold....like a 27 inch zenith. Believe it.

Now before some busy body come an start telling me is my fault and I is a married man an I shouldn't be looking at them things so let me tell wunnah straight I married but I aint blind. Is not like them duz juck out ya eyeball when ya put on a wedding ring ya know? chupse!

Plus! Plus is not like I was in the strip club or somewhere looking fa woman or something so I was in the supermarket. Nothing so aint supposed ta happen in the supermarket. I wasn't even in one of them sexy, erotic type aisles (at least that's how its portrayed on TV) like with the fruit and melons and bananas and grapes and them natural aphrodisiac type a business. No man I tell ya I was nowhere near them things when it happen. I was pun the other side a de supermarket wid all sort of square tins and unsexy boxes of detergent and thing so. No boy I wasn't looking for nothing so at all.

An let me tell ya it happen out of the blue too. Like I said I wasn't looking for it to happen, I wasn't waiting for it to happen, I didn't expect it to happen and then all a sudden ....BRAM! Right there in front my two eyeballs it happen. What I was supposed to do? Look away? How wunnah mean look away? Look away where? My eyes had right to be there. My eyes was there first before the flashing occur. Is she intrude my eyeball space not me intrude she space!

Close my eyes? Why should I have closed my eyes uh? Wunnah mekkin sport. Look it happen, I see it, there was no turning back and there was no closing of the eyes. That is how it went down. That is my story and I sticking to it.

But let me tell ya boy I don't even think the young girl realize dat she flash me. Oh gosh boy! Serious thing that!

Tell she something? How ya mean tell she sumting? Tell she something like wha? Ya mad or what? Next thing I try to tell she dat she exposing sheself and she looking at me like I is a big pervert when as I point out already my eyeballs was there first is she dat intrude my space not me intrude hers. No bosie I din saying a word to see bout nothing today. Not me, couldn't happen, uh uh din not see a thing, lips sealed if she ask me!

But I don't understand why these young girls duz like to wear these things that duz expose them privates in public? I don't need to see wha you got on or aint got on underneath what I can see ya got on. You understand me?

Cause then incidents duz accidentally happen and I duz be seeing what I aint suppose ta see and next thing I know people duz be saying "wha he was lookin at that? Wha he aint a married man? Dem aint supposed to be looking at that sorta things. he mek muh shame. He shoulda close he eyes. He musse went to the supermarket knowing dat was gine happen."

So ya see dat is why I aint telling wunnah this story.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Border Tax aka Big Hurt

So yesterday's morning's newspaper told me that the Toronto Blue Jays are going to be signing 38 year old slugger Frank Thomas to be their designated hitter next year.

Not a bad move I thought.....Until I saw the price tag. $18 - $20 Million dollars!! What! I mean in his prime yea Thomas aka the Big Hurt was the man in Chi-Town but at 39 years old you're telling me that he's worth 10 million a year. Come on now!

I guess Toronto continues its trend as the place where old sports stars can feather their nest egg just before retiring. I'm not happy about this one.

Why because we are overpaying to get him in Toronto and this is a trend that had been going on in every sport aside from Hockey in this town. I call it a border tax. Whenever we go after basketball or baseball players to come play in Canada these days we are always overpaying them. Its like we're begging or bribing them to come play here in our city of igloos and Eskimos which is the perception most Americans seen to have of us. Toronto is becoming the place for players to come make some big bucks and produce not a damn thing in terms of team improvement.

Well I have a question. If Toronto is such a world class city like our elected representatives keep claiming then why do we have to overpay these spoilt big kids to play here? They should be lining up to play in our city. Shouldn't they?

We do a big song and dance about over the hill or mediocre players coming here to collect a fat cheque only to see the teams they represent fail miserably year after year. Is it worth it?

We did the same overpaying thing with Raptors point guard T J Ford the other day. He is an ok point guard but he aint worth the money they gave him. Walking around giving interviews about he is an Allen Iverson type of player. Please! Brother how you going to be an Allen Iverson type of player and cant shoot the ball? You're vying for president of the brick layers association you aint no Allen Iverson. Yea you got speed but one of my favorite college players Jacques Vaughan has/had speed too and in the NBA he never became anything but a backup and journeyman.

Actually on the whole topic of the Raptors its still early in the season but I have some thoughts on the team.

(1) I think until I see Bargnani turn into the next Dirk that we wasted our number 1 draft pick. Vincenzo Esposito anyone?

(2) Colangelo make a mistake by trading Charlie V. I believe Colangelo was interested in cleaning house of all of his predecessors mistakes, starting with a clean slate and the like but Charlie V was not one of them. Trading Charlie V for Ford was a mistake. First thing they teach you in GM school is you don't trade big for small. It was a rookie mistake. I say we should have kept Charlie V, turned the point guard duties over to Calderone, traded the number 1 pick for two later picks and grabbed Marcus Williams and Rudy Gay and we would be set for the playoffs next year assuming we did point number 4. Charlie V and Bosh playing together again for a second year would have given us a consistent big man tandem and we would be contenders for a playoff spot.

(3) Demoting Mo Pete was stupid. Fred Jones aint that good. But I figure like in point 2 Mo Pete was an old regime player so he soon out the door too.

(4) We need a big bad veteran or two on the team and no Derrick Martin looking all coach like in his suit on the sidelines doesn't count. Neither does Mo Pete. Mo Pete is like the veteran on the squad now and he's not either big or bad plus he's only been around 6 years. No we need a big bad forward. Remember those two years way way way back (well if you follow a BET timeline where old school means a year and a half ago) when we made playoffs? What do you think the reason was for that? Stop right there if you want to put up your hand and say Vince Carter. No the reason we made playoffs those couple of years was veterans like Charles Oakley, Antonio Davis, Kevin Willis and to some extent a declining, sorry way over the hill, Hakeem Olajuwon. Guys with playoff experience, leadership skills and a willingness to do the dirty work and play defense. These young cats don't want to play defense and don't know how to play it either. All they want to do is make the sportscentre highlight reel.

So you see there are my early season reasons for why the Raptors will remain a crap team this year.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Crazy people

So today at around 10 o clock I happen to be passing Bay and Dundas when I saw a big long lineup. The line up seemed to be all the way over by the door for the Canadian Tire hardware store so my first thought was I never see nobody line up for tools yet so they must be having a giant sale or selling off some titanium hammers or platinumized saws or something so.

Then my next thought was oh they releasing another Star Wars movie and nobody aint tell me nothing. Cause usually when I think of people lines up like that outside I think those people with no lives that line up days in advance for movie premiers.

Anyway I should mention that today was a pretty gloomy day with forecasts of nuff nuff rain. Mind you these folks seemed to be well prepared with portable chairs and big pieces of tarp to cover themselves from the rain but still ya see me I wasn't lining up in the rain outside for nothing.

Then it finally dawned on me. Oh yea the Best Buy electronic store in the same complex as the previously mentioned hardware store releasing that video game console tomorrow, the ps6 wii gamestation playcube nintendo somebody or the other. Look don't ask me to be more specific because I'm not a gamer meaning I have no game as the wife likes to mention occasionally or game console. No all I know is they meaning some big corporation releasing some new cutting edge state of the art gaming console costing a good piece a change.

So apparently the console is releasing at midnight tonight, numbers limited and customers and die hard gamers lining up from early foreday morning waiting for this thing. I bet ya none a dum don't be so enthusiastic at them job getting in early for their shift though. Assuming they have jobs.

Anyway I hope the rain aint wash way nobody or they don't work where I work cause last thing I need is some idiot that stand up in the rain for 15 hrs, for the stupid console, to come at my workplace sick like a dog and pass on their cold to me.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Is tired I well tired

Any of you ever been so tired that ya head start hurting ya fa lack of sleep? Well that is me right now. In fact if I didn't take this challenge to blog every day for November (and I reach half way thank ya please) I would be in my bed all like now snoring down the place with not a care in the world.

But no if you can relate to being as tired as me tell me. I been tired all day from waking up since 330 this morning. By the time I reach work I was saying to myself I need coffee but I aint really a coffee man and to drink coffee in the state I was in would only make me jittery and have me walking bout like I bazodee.

So I just decide early on in the day before all rationality left me that I would only work on certain things that didn't require too much brain power cause when I walk in and see what was on my desk I did starting to get a lil vex so I say let me leff dat there till tomorrow when I feeling refreshed before I start cussing somebody.

Anyways let me ramble for a bit. This remind me of when I was in University. I wasn't one of them regular all nighter fellas. I would study till around 1:30 -2:00 am and then I gone in my bed and make sure I get at least 6 hours of sleep. None of this cram and drink coffee and coke and energy drink and staying up till foreday morning business. That never work for me well at least not when it come to studying. Now if it was fete we feting that is a different story but I digress.

So this one time in third year we had a big project due this Monday marnin and a whole bunch of we get an pull an all nighter the Sunday night. It was rough already cause we had spent till like 3 the Saturday night working on the same thing so brains was already fried.

Still we locked ourselves in a library and were working feverishly to finish up this thing. Now at 3 in the morning we were still fairly coherent and making good progress but by the time 6 am come panic had set in, sense had long deserted man and gone sleep and new sense had taken his place and we were struggling to put the finishing touches on the project.

If I had been able to detach myself from the scene it would have been funny too cause at 6 am things that seemed silly at 3 duz start making a whole heap a sense. Not that they any different is just like I said when sense gone sleep a fella will make some decisions that will make you wonder.

Anyway we finish up around 7, had breakfast and then handed in the project just before it was due at 9.

So ya think that is it right? Well no, I was so tired I couldn't sleep. You ever been there? I will tell you how to reach. First ya duz drive past tired, ignore fatigued like a bus driver flying past a fella at a bus stop when de bus full and continue going and hit de gas when ya see exhausted and just keep going. That is how ya duz get there.

Once there you don't know what to do with yourself cause clearly rationality gone long time and you can only hope that sooner or later sleep catch up with ya.

Well that was me the day after that all nighter and to top it off I had a quiz at like midday that day. Imagine that! Boy that quiz was one of the worse quizzes I ever do in my life. The teacher say at the start try and keep it tidy so I working long real real good and suddenly halfway through decide my page wasn't tidy enough and rub out every single thing I had done and start over. See what I mean tiredness duz mek ya mad. Next thing I know quiz duz I aint finish and my page rub out like 3 times and aint as tidy as I was expecting.

Anyway I thought there was a point to this blog but clearly there isn't. I gine sleep.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Value of Money

Let me tell wunnah a little story.

So this evening I'm running an errand on my way home and I ran into a street person. I know you thinking somebody that live on the street, aint bathe in three months that sort of thing but no that aint what it was cause well my definition of street people varies a little from the established. The Jdid definition of street people is not just the people who live on the street but the people who duz harass ya on the street.

I mean don't get me wrong I aint have no issues wid a homeless fella on the sidewalk, even if he begging fa a dollar or so or just trying to keep himself warm. No them sorta street people I feel a certain pity for and wonder how things get to that stage.

No the street people I talking about as I said are the ones that harass you on the street.

So canvassers and salespeople trying to get me to sign up to give money to a charity dem is street people. Dem black fellas downtown that always trying to sell me some, and I will say it and don't care who vex wid me, stupid pieca black history month paper that cost 20 cents to photocopy at Kinkos and trying to prey on my color and use guilt to extort me for cash an I still don't know what cause um is they collecting for, dem is street people and young kids selling chocolate and candy to raise funds for some school or extra curricular school business dem is street people. Anybody basically that confuse me while I trying to walk the streets and mind my own business is street people.

Actually now that memory kick in I remember blogging about some of these street people two years ago in one of my first blogging attempts.

Anyway I was telling a story sorry to digress.

So I'm walking along Bloor street, just came out a store and this yout accosts me with candy in hand asking me to buy some for whatever cause. Well I only have like 10 dollars in my wallet today so I tell the yout I would like to help ya out but I don't have no lotta money on me. Actually no what I said exactly was "I would like to help but I don't have much money on me today."

Which to me is a self explanatory phrase right? I'm just saying it don't take no advanced degree to understand that right?

Hear the yout 'Its not that expensive"
So I ask how much it was thinking I may be able to dig in my loose change and pull out a two dollar or so and still help out.

Hear the yout. "You can get three bars for 10 dollars or 6 for $20"

six wha fa 20 dollars?

"Ummm but buddy you aint just hear me say I aint got no lotta money and you coming at me wid 10 and 20 dollar options. Chupse! You head cud only be bad. Dem doan teach wunnah maths in school nuh more?"

"I mean you hear a man say money tight and the first thing you gine bruk out is 10 and 20 dollar options. Wha I look like a bank machine to you?"

Before they send these kids out on the street they really need to teach them the value of money.

Monday, November 13, 2006


You will now consider me the apocalyptic one
After this rhyme, henceforth, there is none
NO more will exist, when I emerge
From the mist in whence I was born into, scorned
Most of you can't even comprehend what I am saying
to you even in my human form the message I'm relaying

Stress - Pharoah (I'm no slave to the rhythm) Monch

Tonight was/is one of those nights like you see in Horror movies. A serious, serious fog like you see in those movies with Jack the Ripper stalking his victims and the like. All that was missing was somebody screaming out in the middle of the dark.

Yes a British isle type fog, one that one of those Victorian writers like Dickens would bust out and describe with some flowery language when all they needed to say was it was misty and I could see a thing.

Still as I got off the bus this evening, and I was creeping through the fog like Snoop, I could barely see ten meters ahead of me but I was thinking about all the descriptions I could use for the fog. Hey what can I say I like those descriptive British cats who say things like the atmosphere had descended or a damp pall held sway over the countryside or an oppressive fog held the land in its grips. Or one could barely see one's nose in the thick stew that surrounded everything.

Yea I could see a fella in a top hat and some fancy frills with a quill and a ink jar writing something so. Cant you?

An intense midst arose suddenly and trapped nay engulfed them in its folds!

See that is lyrics! Sorry tonight's blog I'm just playing with words. So many ways to say the same thing aren't they?

Sunday, November 12, 2006

X files factor

Illuminati wants my mind soul and my body,
secret society tryin' to keep their eye on me

Prodigy - I shot ya remix

I've noticed that since the success of the X-files in the 90s many TV shows in this decade have reverted to a formula where every mystery has to be somehow deeper, some part of a greater conspiracy complete with some shadowy Illuminati type group running the whole show. Of course this occurs all unbeknownst to the protagonists of the show at least when the show starts and then its all slowly revealed.

And you know what. That plot is getting tired and played out.

I wont argue that television writing at least in drama/thriller type series is pretty amazing compared to 10 years ago but what happened to the simpler times when a bad guy was just a bad guy, his motives were simple and he didn't think he was working for the good guys and he wasn't looking for some link to a mythical fountain of youth, or the holy grail, or in this week's case with my new show Vanished, the Apocalypse. What happened to simple greed and money as a motive .... as opposed now to complicated greed I guess.

Its like in making TV smarter they have also made it dumber because they always revert to these Da Vinci code, Tomb Raider style references to solve complicated plotlines. They always fall back on some storyline where some ancient designer or engineer or civilization who it was rumored discovered the fountain of youth or came down from the stars or developed a device to do something truly wondrous or dangerous is the reason for whatever plot concept they think up. And of course there is always some secret group of fanatics trying to find this device or scroll or potion that the ancients developed to use it for dubious cause.

And yes the ancient designer or civilization is/was obviously way ahead of his/their time even way ahead of our time and somehow whatever they developed or discovered got lost, buried, stolen, submerged or thrown down a medieval well. The scriptwriters then throw in some dialogue which is supposed to awe you talking about secret scrolls or mind altering earth shattering devices and relating them back to the Aztecs or Plato or Leonardo Da Vinci or some biblical or historical figure and you're supposed to sit there with your mouth open in awe saying "whoa thats deep!" as they use this to explain away some of the implausible crap when they've written themselves into a box.

Its like me writing a book, having the protagonist shot and stabbed to death and then bringing in aliens to whisk him away and save his life.


I mean ok to be honest the script writers are just preying on a society that is now more skeptical and jdid than probably any other previous societies. We've lost faith in our leaders and we've heard rumors of back room cabals running governments and we keep hearing or reading of secret deals and backroom secret plots etc. We've been subjected to CIA rumors, 9/11 conspiracies, conspiracy theories over why Iraq was really invaded and of course the James Carter (Chris Tucker in Rush Hour 2) theory of criminal investigation; "Behind every big crime there's a rich white man waiting for his cut". With the amount of conspiracy theories floating around in real life no wonder the Hollywood script writers take liberties with this line in their dramas.

Still that plot concept is getting played. I'm not saying that secret societies or backroom cabals don't exist or may not be the reason for certain world changing events I'm just saying you can ruin some really good dramas with those plot twists that tend to be mythical and absurd. Every drama doesn't need Illuminati behind the scenes controlling the bad guys. Cut that out.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Lest we forget

Did you remember that today was/is Rememberence day?

Yes some wars are/were frivilous and some were without real cause but there were occasions like the World Wars where soldiers fought and died for real freedoms.

Lets not forget them.

Friday, November 10, 2006


I just wrote what I thought was a pretty cool blog but I wont post it today cause no one's going to read this stuff over the weekend anyways.

So where does that leave me. Let me just do some random spots.

- I saw the Lil Wayne Baby video of Stunning like my daddy tonight for the first time. I have no idea what stunnin like my daddy means mind you but I was just kind of amazed by lil'wayne's upper body. No not his physique just the fact that there doesn't seem to be an inch of his skin not covered by a tattoo. Can you get ink poisoning from tattoos.

- They just doubled departure tax in Barbados. Just as the Christmas season starting and World Cup coming up. Oh well I guess somebody got to pay for that revamping of Kensington Oval.

- I publicly declare Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor a classic. Now coming from me this is not a frivolous declaration. I mark hard like ol school teachers without a bell curve. On first listen I thought the album was crap considering what I heard on his mix tapes and the only reason I listened a second time was to prove to myself that Jay Z had ghostwriting "just might be ok" for him BUT that second listen threw me for a loop. The album is outstanding. Daydreamin, Kick Push Pt 2, The Cool, Instrumental, He Say she say are amazing songs. I heard he sucks in interviews but his music is tight. I'll give him that.

- Heard Ralph Klein's Belinda Stronach joke. Ouch! Yea the more I hear of these politicians the more I think our country is truly being run by 12 year old boys.

-Democrats won the Senate and the House. So!! Do they have an exit strategy for Iraq that makes it look like America hasn't lost? Alright then.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The dark

Its Fall again. Almost winter when you look at it actually. Leaves are coming off the trees, its rainy and the daylight hours are getting shorter and shorter. Especially now that the clock has been rolled back. I can actually now leave for work in the dark and return home in the dark. If it wasn't for the few windows in my office building and a walk at lunch the only daylight I would be experiencing on weekdays for the next four or five months is the ten seconds or so as the subway goes over the Viaduct in the morning.

Yep its dark and getting darker. Soon that lack of Vitamin D from the sun will kick in and a brother may even start copping an attitude or getting depressed as he struggles through the cold of January and February. Something to look forward to I guess.

But that's Fall for ya. No getting past it so you just accept it and move on.

However I've realized from observation that there is another part of the dark that pops up in the fall.

Its the dress habits of people.

From my cursory breakdown I'd say 85% of all Fall and Winter jackets are black with another 14.99 percent being some combination of brown, dark brown or dark blue. Only occasionally does one see a tan jacket or a bit of red here and there. I never really paid much attention to it before but now that I've noticed its depressing.

I think it started when I saw someone wearing a tan jacket on the subway last week and noticed how much they stood out in that environment. "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not the same". It must feel like you're a Zebra surrounded by a pack of hungry lions. Its scary.

I've got one jacket that's not in the 99.99% of blacks, browns, and dark blues and when I wear it I feel like a sore thumb cause I can let my eyes wonder down a packed evening subway car and maybe of the 80 to 100 persons on the car only see one other person not wearing dark colors.

Oh man. Ok so I realize that dark colors assist the storage of body heat which is necessary in this season and I realize that this is Canada not the Caribbean so you don't even see that many vibrant colors in the warm periods, and I realize that dark colors hide the smudges and dust from all the dirt and grime and dirty snow and all that stuff we eventually get in these seasons but still is a little color variation too much to ask?

I aint asking nuhbody to wear green ad orange fluorescent polka dots or nuttin so. All I'm saying is that the dark and lack of warmth is amplified by the dark colored jackets with the sullen faces popping out at their top. It starts to get a bit too much as Winter wears on.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Daze in a weak

Just going to be brief tonight.

-Today was a tough day. Nope work wasn't particularly difficult its just I'm feeling super drained today. Woke up at 4am and it wasn't even baby related and I just couldn't get back to sleep. By lunchtime I was drained. Everything was a blur after that but somehow I found enough energy to put in about 45 minutes on the squash court.

-The good thing about blogs is the spontaneity and the bad thing is the spontaneity. What I mean there is that almost every blog I write sometime after I post it I realize that I should have added something or changed the way I wrote some phrase or paragraph. Today is no exception as I realized I should have used the word intelligent to describe the guy in yesterday's blog. Oh well!

- Another subway experience got me thinking tonight. (Hey I only spend two hours on it every day and its full of stories so why not use them.) Why is it that we initially think that people who talk a lot are intelligent? I found myself falling into that trap tonight as I listened to this little child prattle on and on to his grandmother. My first thought was oh he must be an intelligent child and not to detract from him cause he probably is although he was clearly showing off but then I thought well why is it that one never initially thinks the quiet one is the intelligent one.

-The Raptors got me out of my seat a few minutes ago. I've watched every game they played so far and been less than impressed. How is it supposed to be a fast break running offense if you forget to run for two periods every night? Anyway tonight Chris Bosh hit a fluke three to basically win the game. I shouted I jumped out of the couch. NBA basketball its fantastic!

That's all for today lets call it an early night.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Cool

I seen him on the subway on my way to .... Downtown. I have no idea what his name is but I know him by seeing him around. I've chatted with him before if chat is what you do with someone like him because undoubtedly this is the coolest character I've ever met. Remember when Ra said "Cool I don't get upset" well I think he was referring to this character.

First saw/met him a few years ago selling some pretty creative style jewelry in the market with his kin. Then I saw them other places peddling their wares and since my wife likes their stuff (and its cheap but well made) occasionally I'll stop and grab some small gift.

Something about them intrigued me too. I thought they were Bobo dreads at first just by the way they were dressed but they don't have locks do they and one of the females cut her hair off at one point which is usually a no no for rasta isn't it? Naa I have no idea what tribe or religion they represent all I know is that they are the most laid back people I've known.

My boy thinks its a weed thing. He thinks they are always just so damn high that they have achieved some sort of zen like state or rather a state where as they themselves would say 'everything is everything'. Not a care in the world.

Its cold out today but on our subway journey homeboy is still dressed like its the summer. Well dressed like he is always dressed I should say, regardless of weather, with the long flowing robe and his head covered. He looks like a cross between some sort of Biblical Galilean and an Arab Bedouin. He'd be right at home in those biblical stories actually ....Well except for the sweater he has over his robes. I guess one does have to make some amendments or adjustment for Toronto weather.

Still I'm sort of thrown off by the fact that he's wearing sandals on a day like today. True its not as cold as it could be but sandals on this wet, rainy and somewhat cold day? I don't know about that.

My wife who has actually had mini conversations with him and his kin as she's perused their wares at various locations, hyped me to the fact that they all have like the most flawless skin ever. She notices details I usually don't but today I take a close look and yea she's right. I wonder what their secret is?

We sit opposite each other and my workmate is probably alarmed that I'm communicating with this strange character who most would rather ignore but like I said something intrigues me about the guy plus like I said we've "chatted" before.

He recognizes me and smiles a rather disarming smile. Its the smile he gives everyone but it contains a warmth that is almost like we're friends yet we're definitely not.

I say how are you, he nods a greeting. "Haven't seen you in the market lately" I say. He smiles seems to think of what to say for a minute and its almost like I can see his brain turning trying to minimize the words used in the conversation. But not in a rude way just his normal way with words.

"too cold" he says finally.

Well there it is in a nutshell. I nod in agreement, he smiles, I cant hold his gaze for too long for some reason. Its the disarming thing again.

He's looking at me and I'm thinking there is just something deep about this guy , not just because of his garb but because of his eyes and that smile.

He closes his eyes as the train continues and this is how we spend most of the rest of our journey with him giving me the occasional smile. I felt like he was trying to communicate in his own way but I just wasn't getting it. Maybe his aura of cool came from him having perfected a new non-verbal communication mode that I as a mere mortal just wasn't able to decipher. Or maybe as my friend said he was just high.

Nope I ruled that out on close inspection. His eyes looked fine, no red no glazed over look nothing to signal drug use. I noticed his hair getting some grey. Hmm hadn't noticed that before.

I had questions. Who are you, why do you dress this way, what's your religion? But nope I asked none of them. It really wasn't my business. I mean I'm curious but not that curious plus maybe if I asked he would be insulted.

He got out a few stations before me. I nodded a good bye and he said have a nice day and as he passed by my seat to reach the exit he extended his hand to give me a light pound.

that's never happened before I thought. Has our relationship as such progressed? Maybe next time I could ask him those questions although I'm sure I'd get those three and four word retorts leaving me even more perplexed than before. Still we did share a subway and a conversation or rather some sort of exchange of communication so who knows.

Oh well I'm sure I'll see him again sometime.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Election Time

Yes I know all the spotlight is on the U.S midterms and whether the Republicans will get lambaste tomorrow (Tuesday) but we also have some municipal elections going on here in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area).

Yep time to vote for mayor and city councilors, school trustees and the like come next Monday.

Only problem is ...Who do I vote for?

I know it cant be just me and I wont say that democracy is failing but at the same time why is it that whenever I consider civic duty, signing my X, i.e voting I'm usually caught somewhere between a rock and a hard place?

I mean most voting cases everywhere nowadays, in my opinion at least, it seems as if you cant find a candidate you really want to vote for. It usually comes down to a lesser of two evils vote. Is that really what democracy should be about? The candidates platforms are usually so similar or you get so annoyed with them all that it just gets frustrating.

Oh well I guess Democracy is still better than the alternatives but I just wish we had choices.

Politicians have become so sad these days and I'm so j-did by the process that sometimes I feel like just saying to hell with it all.

I mean lets take the case of the mayoral race in Toronto. In my opinion the incumbent has not lived up to expectation. Yea he seems like a great guy, not particularly charismatic, but a good guy nonetheless but what has he actually accomplished in his term?

In ordinary circumstances his record would mean we'd give his butt the boot right but who are his opponents? The main lady running against him hasn't stood out as a candidate. Her ideas don't stand out and she seems more caught up in trying to disparage anything he says even if what he says has merit. Come on now, I don't need someone running a campaign like a rebellious teenager's conversation with his parents to be my mayor now do I?

And at the council level who the hell do I vote for? My councilors seems smart enough, he's a go getter it seems, a good guy. But at the same point he's also a jackass who made some comments that have truly pissed me off and on principal I just cant see myself giving him a vote. Oh I'm sure he'll win by a landslide primarily because his opposition is piss poor but still. The whole voting process just makes me sick.

Lets just put some names in a hat and draw for positions.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Good laugh

So last night I went to a show. Music if ya must know what it was. Sit down West Indian music business. Alright ya pull it out of me it was a pan show; Autumn Leaves pan soloist show. Third year running.

Anyway great music, good vibes. It was nice.

Now after all the other performers had done their thing and not to take anything away from them they were all excellent, the main performer came out. To be honest I had never really heard of the man before but he come straight from Trinidad and everybody know that when a baby born in Trinidad as soon as he/she come out the birth canal the doctor does slap two tenor sticks in dey hand, call out two chords and an arpeggio and while the nurse playing percussion the baby does have to prove that he can play before they give the family the all clear that the chile alright.

Hear the Trini doctor one time, "eh he but is how dis chile cann play Sonata in F minor? What wrong wid him? I'm bazodee or I'm bajan?"

So as I was saying the man come from Trinidad and he was the headliner. I was thinking but I never heard of him yet. He like he aint one of the big pan boys like Boogsie or Professor and dem sorta fellas. They like they short changing Toronto this year.

Anyways luckily I was wrong. The man was/is a maestro on the pan. A virtuoso. I was well entertained by this headliner and his skills well amazing.

But after all that long talk that is not the story I come to tell.

This is it now.

During the show the performer, who was also very charismatic I must say, stopped to introduce one original piece. He give we the name of the piece and say it (the name) was inspired by his wife's cooking/baking one day when he was composing. The name of the piece was sweetbread (if ya not west indian ya might not know what this is) and he say we would enjoy it. Now as a man that like me some good west indian sweetbread I was saying I hope this piece sweet fa true.

Anyway as he getting ready to start the song now and the backing band starting up from the back of the audience a woman shout out. "Don't mind he. He only telling we so cause he want he show off that he married."

The crowd had a good laugh.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Evil black people

"I don't know how black people get so evil so?"

It was like from right out of a movie. You know the scene. The one you overlook at the beginning because it seems trivial so you assume its so much window dressing, irrelevant to the main act to follow. Now if they'd used a thespian that you were familiar with someone like Bruce Willis or Winona Rider you might have paid more attention but they used some little no name johnny come lately from off the street that you had never seen before, even though he may have done two or three small time movies in the past. But that was the point you hadn't seen him before so he was insignificant to your gaze. Hence the scene was ignored.

Its only near the end of the movie when the plot is revealed and it all comes together that you realize what a pivotal scene it was and you wished you had really taken note before instead of reaching for your big buttery popcorn when that scene was on.

Well it was like that with me last Monday but not really.

Left for work a little late. On the train west I decided I was tired of going to my usual transfer spot where the crowds are thick on the platform and I've got to use my box out, and elbowing skills, developed on the basketball court in order to make it onto the southbound train.

Yea lets skip that routine for one day. I'll just get off on the Danforth and grab a streetcar that takes me relatively near to where I'm going. Its a longer trip but I'm not rushed like I usually am plus its always better to be above ground than below anyways.

So that decision made I hopped out the subway and went upstairs at the station to grab a streetcar.

Anyway it was on that streetcar journey that the pivotal moment happened. I saw it but like the moviegoers mentioned above I didn't realize its significance or recognize the actor.

I was just taking in random sights when I was drawn to the figure of a tall black man on one corner. He looked like a bum. He seemed to be begging for change from a guy who had just gotten out of his car at a gas station or corner store or something. My mind said 'crackhead' or some sort of drug addict just from his jerky movements and the way his hands came out into the begging stance so swiftly.

Not an altogether strange scene on the streets of Toronto but I guess what grabbed me about it was the distinctive wave of the hand the guy who got out of his car gave to the outstretched hand. It was a literal brush off. A silent, go away, don't bother me, I have absolutely nothing for you gesture. It was probably delivered with a scowl as well but from my vantage point I couldn't tell. Well somehow that scene got my attention.

Thought about it for a few more seconds after we passed but then that was it. Back to life back to reality back to thinking about work or some other thing awaiting in my future. No Bruce Willis or Brad Pitt in that scene so it wasn't important.

Fast forward to lunch time. I just need to get away from the office at lunch or I'll go crazy. I usually do a lot of walking at lunch. Well walking or using my metro pass to go make a quick visit to another area.

Anyway I'm on my way back after running some errands about 3 blocks from work and guess who I see from afar walking in the opposite direction coming towards me. Yep, well I'll be damned if its not the same beggar I saw this morning on the other side of the city. Fancy seeing him here.

He's still got the outstretched hands as he attempts to ask every passerby for change. I get closer and see his shabby clothing and his mannerisms and figure yep drug addict I was right. I'm thinking I'm not giving this guy jack to support his habit if he asks me but he probably wont anyways cause if there's one thing I've learned its that in a crowd beggars will approach anyone but the black person first. Damn imagine that ish, we're even last on the beggars list.

Still just my luck the crowd thins out by the time I get to this guy or rather he gets to me. Oh well he can ask but I aint giving. There it goes, hand outstretched, the plaintive look on his face and the "Spare any change?" question swiftly proffered.

I make eye contact, shrug my shoulders and say "sorry".

That's when he leans over and says in a low voice to me "I don't know how black people get so evil so?"

Read what you will into the statement.

I don't stop, I didn't look at him or acknowledge his comment. We both keep on walking going in our separate directions.

Friday, November 03, 2006


Or rather deliciously ironic.

As a baby they teach you to eat and eat. Well not eat to gluttony or to over-eating standards but you know what I mean. Babies eat and sleep. They wake up in the night and they eat. They eat before or to fall asleep. They eat all hours of the day and night. They cry and get on bad when food isn't ready for them when they are hungry. Yet these are all acceptable maybe even desirable traits.

Yet the older we get the more those traits become undesirable. Eat and fall asleep you are seen as somehow lazy or having the 'itis. Eat after a certain time at night and you're guaranteed to put on the pounds they say. Wake up in the middle of the night to eat? Only in TV commercials. Cry or pout when you are hungry? No that signifies no training, no broughtpsy and no discipline.

Is it just me or does anyone else see the irony here?

(and yes I made this post just before midnight)

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Guess who's bizzack

Yep, the hiatus was less of a hiatus that initially thought. Thanks to some good computer advice and two hours of hard labour the machine is up to the time! and good to go! and I can still make my posts for every day in November if I try. yeaaahh!

Oh and I can now check everyone else's blog again too. Yippee!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Nope computer still down but had to blog this.

Last night I find some new reasons to dislike Halloween. First off when I get home I figure all the trick n treating foolishness was done but no they still keep coming by the house for the candy that the wife got.

Now me I like me some chocolates and candy so I dont know why she would be giving way all the chocolates like that for.

Anyways so the wife had to go out which left me and the baby at home. Baby sleeping, I turn off the lights outside which I'm told is the universal language for no we dont have any candy so piss off and leave us alone. Did that stop the trick or treaters?. Oh hell no. And ringing the doorbell multiple times and banging the rass door like I aint had nothing better to do that play conceirge opening door for them with a fake saccharine like smile and pretending I know what they supposed to be. Chupse!

I even answering the door dressed in a hoodie over my head thinking that somebody would say boy that house got in a igrant looking black fella dont go cross deyso. Ya think they get the hint. Chupse!

And of course you know what happen with all that banging and ringing? Yep baby wake up crying now. Chupse! See why I dont deal with all this foolish halloween business.

But ya know what the funny thing about Halloween was though. Well funny in hindsight not so humourous last night. The funny thing was that is only like 5 children in my neighbourhood so how come about 60 children and them parents was banging down my door? And how come one woman was trick or treating with her kids by car? No seriously. I open the door give them candy and they went back up the driveway hop in a jeep and went away. I thought this trick or treating thing was a walk around thing. Since when is drive and stop for candy. I mean think about it the children obese enough already, walking around to get the candy is probably all the excercise their lazy asses get all week and you driving them to pick up the candy?

And why at 9 o clock these two big hardback women without kids show up trick or treating at my door? And it didnt even like they was in any sort of costume? What gives with that?

That is why see me when I win the lottery I building a moat round my house and filling it with Piranas. Chupse!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Due to technical difficulty

I'll be taking a break the next few days and maybe longer. On the other hand it may be shorter but I not sure yet. All I certain is I had wanted to blog everyday in November and that not going to happen cause my home computer is on the fritz.

Sort of like what happened to me two years ago. Remember this? or this?

Anyway enjoy yaself till I get back

Monday, October 30, 2006

Old acquaintances

Twice last week I've run into old acquaintances.

First on Tuesday on the subway platform waiting to transfer trains I saw this girl from my University days. Its weird because first glance I was like yea I know you from somewhere but where? Then the memory came back. Oh yea we worked on a project for class back in 3rd year. Right! But what is your name? Anyway I saw her glance over my way and I think she recognized me too but its not like we were best buds or even friends or anything so we just stood there, and glanced at each other every now and then probably both trying to remember each others names until the train came and we got into separate cars.

To be honest up to this moment I still don't remember her name but I can remember who she hung out with in class. Makes you wonder though. She looked like she had done alright in life but who can tell. I always wonder what my classmates are up to these days. If I knew it'd probably depress me anyways.

Then on Friday, I decided to take an extended lunch, hop on the train and go to the mall. Oh man, I remember when I thought malls were exciting. I must have been a teenager back then. Now they are just plain run of the mill boring. I'm in, I'm out its a wrap!

So was regretting my decision to go to the mall, strolling my way back to work when I walked past this cat who looked familiar. Hey that looks like one of my boy from back in the days but naa that was a long time ago and another place. I haven't seen him since like 1992 or something. Naa that can be him, he's probably in Barbados drinking a Banks and enjoying the hot sun right now.

Still that cat looks awfully like him. Oh well, being that I'm not the type to be like hey man you look familiar I walked past and was just about to file away that memory when I heard a semi-familiar voice call me. Oh snap it is him! Wow!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Imagine that

Well well well. What can I say!

I know that Canada can be a cruel place to live sometimes but I didn't realize that this place was a penal colony? Wha nuh wonder some a we West Indians duz ketch hell up hayso.

How ya mean? Well that can be the only conclusion I can come to when a U.S judge sentences a U.S citizen convicted of a crime on U.S soil to a choice of one year in jail or alternatively 3 years parole in Canada. Imagine that ish!

Ok so the guy has been residing here in Fort Erie and commuting to his job in the U.S but that's not the point. He's still a U.S citizen. Since when can you up and decide to send a fellow that commit a crime in your country, the country of which he is a citizen I might add, on parole in another person's country just so?

I mean its bad enough that North America (both U.S and Canada) deports people that grow up here from babies to their country of birth when its full well know they learn all their criminal activities in North America. Its like they are trying to blame the birthplace, of which most of the criminals know little of, for what the person became and dumping a North American problem at the doorsteps of countries, like those in the Caribbean, that don't have the resources to cope with an influx of these sophisticated criminals. In other words is juss mekkin bad worse.

No but now that's not enough. No now you got to send away your own criminal citizens now.

No star no disrespect to my American friends but I think y'all gone too far this time.

Still is not like Canada can or will do anything about it besides kick up a loud noise anyways. What we could do anyways, flood the maple syrup market or something so? Chupse!

What would be even worse though is if the fella decide to say something like "No your honor sir, don't be so cruel. I will take the year in jail sir. Please please don't send me to Canada. I learn my lesson. I am on the straight and narrow from now on. Just don't send me cross there sir. You don't know what its like cross there. Please I beg ya let me stay here!"

Wouldn't that be a thing!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

One thing

History has a way about it. Sometimes significant stuff happens and at that time gets ignored by the public or in recent cases media spun so that its ignored. Sometimes however something which starts trivial will awaken the masses.

This whole dog-gate issue (as coined by Radmila) could possibly end up that way in my opinion.

what's dog-gate you ask? Well last week in a Parliamentary debate Canadian Foreign Minister Peter MacKay supposedly made a comment that suggested that his ex-girlfriend and current member of the opposition Belinda Stronach was a dog.

In a debate about pollution an opposition member asked Mackay about the impact of pollution on animals and humans. "What about your dog?" Mackay was asked innocently or not so innocently. "You already have her." is what MacKay is alleged to have said while gesturing at Stronach's empty seat in the Parliament. OUCH!

I've got to admit when I first heard it I couldn't help but smile. Sorry if that makes me misogynistic somehow but if true it was just such sarcastic humor plus we have been recently overwhelmed with reports on Stronach's love life haven't we. Mackay's retort just seemed like something that a wiseguy 15 year old in the cafeteria or a trying to be cool college student at a frat party would use to garner chuckles from his peers. Definitely not what you expect in Parliament from a ranking Cabinet member but then I've been around long enough, watched enough Budget debates in the Caribbean and seen leaders actually physically battling in Parliament in various European and Asian countries to realize that Parliament in many countries if not all, isn't exactly the paragon of decorum and gentlemanly conduct that we would be led to believe.

I'm pretty amazed at the coverage this item has gotten though although maybe I shouldn't. A comment or rather an alleged comment against one person, his ex, has been turned into a comment that targets all women.

To me Mackay's reaction more than the alleged initial comment is to blame. He refused and still refuses to 'fess up and apologize. PR 101 should have told him to just admit it was a juvenile comment, made in the heat of the moment, apologize and just move on. Most of us, both men and women, would have chalked it up to the rantings of an ex not completely over his break up. Most folks would relate to being bitter. He would have taken a bit of flack but not as much as he is now. By refusing to admit and apologize he has allowed the comment to gain steam and actually galvanized a whole subset of the population against him which could grow into a caucus against his party.

It just keeps rolling and getting bigger.

Still don't we have more important things to debate in Canada than this?

Actually to me the way this dog-gate story has brought down heat on the Conservative government is somehow ironic.


Well to me its ironic that Stronach is involved here as another recent big headline she made let the government almost completely off the hook in a situation that deserved more debate in my opinion. I'm talking about the story about her affair with Hockey player Tie Domi which has allegedly led to Domi's divorce. The timing on that story a few weeks back couldn't have been better for the Conservative government who were in the midst of trimming the fat from their budget (despite having a surplus) ie cutting programs they deemed insignificant. Stuff like programs involving human rights lawyers, jobless youth, the illiterate, aboriginals, and other minority groups. When the crime goes up in Toronto again you'll know why.

But the press went with the story that would garner more sales: Belinda and Tie. The one the public would be caught up in more easily. With that hoopla, including comparisons of the couple to Brad and Angelina, the budget cut story was never "sexy" or scandalous enough to garner the coverage that it needed and so it just slid under the radar and has apparently died a natural death. Yep minorities got screwed again and no one cared or noticed.

So now that another Belinda related story is bringing down the heat what can I say besides I guess the juicy stuff cant all fall in your favor.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Brand Loyalty

"Dem tek I fe fool! Is tief dem a try tief me!" or rather "Dem fellas trying ta rob me like dem think I is a piece poppit ya!"

But lets go back to the start.

Everything these days is brand loyalty. Big Business hits on a successful brand and they start to proliferate the market with other items or services from that brand thinking rather rightly that we will trust the name that we know because stupid we think well if a fella can make a good motorcycle chances are he know something about making a decent DVD player or if he can make a good chocolate bar he might also make a mean salad dressing or rice crispie square or something so. Brand proliferation. Its all the rage now which is why certain brand names once well known in only one area are not now only synonymous with that area. Corporations have seen the future and diversification on the basis of brand loyalty is the way to go.

Make it so number one!

They pull us in hook, line and sinker with that plot.

Now that was just the sellers of retail products that I was talking about but what about the service guys? Same damn thing! Check the scenario. Cable company selling internet service, selling cell phone service selling this that and the third. Phone man now selling cell phone and getting into television services. Bank selling insurance and blah blah blah. Newspaper man now probably trying to sell something other than newspaper too. Everyone selling more than one product. Its the nature of the beast in this world these days I guess.

But one thing I never really understood in the marketing scheme of things with these companies. Just one thing.

They bring you in, sell you on their product with special deals but once they have you all deals off. Literally! What gives?

Actually now that I've written that I guess maybe I do understand it now that I think about it. Its the fishing ploy or even the classic drug dealer play. Get the mark hooked with free or cheap product and get them strung out for life then jack up the price and you have them where you want them. Interesting marketing scheme. Effective though.

that's why newspapers will offer you special deals to sign up for a subscription for the first 16 weeks and then after that they want you to continue at the regular price. Or that's why certain banks will offer ipods to people that transfer chequing accounts, siphoning off customers from the competition. And that's why cell companies will make it cheaper for new customers to get a new phone than loyal customers who've been with them for years. They figure once they have you, their product is so addictive you wont leave.

But they never thought that a fella that was with their bank from the start might want an iPod too? What about the loyal newspaper subscriber who's kept their declining circulation from hitting rock bottom over the years. Ya never think a man might want a new phone if he stays with your service? Damn! What no perks for loyalty? that's cold son!

Its like a whole modern age prodigal son saga. The Johnny come lately, the rogue, the runaway gets all the benefits and the loyal, stand up, stick with you through thick and thin guy gets the shaft, and in this case its not even like the bible story cause there is no equivalent to the Prodigal son's father telling the other son "well son all I have is yours when I die so don't fret yaself too much today". Nope nothing so to satiate the loyal customers. Its sorry you just don't get the perks now or anytime in the future you loser!

How did loyalty end up being something that you lose perks for anyways? What kind of world do we live in.

I guess it works. We're either too lazy or too lackadaisical or too accepting that that's how its supposed to be.

Well like I said at the start. "Dem a tek I fe fool! Is tief dem a try tief me!" or rather "Dem fellas trying ta rob me like dem think I is a piece poppit ya!" Well Jdid mudda aint raise no idiot. Let me tell you that plain an simple! I not letting that happen. What's the point of loyalty if they're trying to play you? For me its all about getting the best deal. Forget (and throw in some other f words if ya feel like too) brand loyalty!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Dog luck aint cat luck

Or is it the other way around?

Anyway I is a man dat know my limitations. A fella name Murphy been one of my close acquaintances for pretty much as long as I can remember. Not that me and he is friends ya know just acquaintances or rather he duz push he malicious, good fa nuttin, nosy self all up in my business all the time just so when it don't concerns him. chupse!

No but seriously I don't think of myself as a lucky fella. That is why I try not to take shortcuts cause see me anytime I tek a shortcut I duz either get lost or somebody or something duz be waiting to mess me up and I does end up in some sort of trouble or struggling to avoid some sort of drama. What will go wrong will go wrong as far as I concerned! That is my motto so see me is but the straight and narrow for the I cause Dog luck aint cat luck or maybe I got that wrong and um is the other way around.

See cause ya know some fellas duz get away with murder while other fellas duz cant even get away with "borrowing" a Shirley biscuit from dem mudda biscuit tin. Ya understand me?

And why I talking about this today? Well life nuh harder than it was yesterday or the day before so that aint it. No man today at lunch I just was walking down the street and smell somebody walking past me just smokin off some weed out in the open just so in the crisp (dat is code for cold as rass!) afternoon air.

At first I was like wait that smell like something from a nooo... wait, naa it cant but no I cant miss that unmistakable smell. I been to too many hip hop concerts to mistake that smell. No don't tell me he walking down the road smoking in the broad day light and two policemen just cross the road so? What audacity! He either courageous, aint got no common sense, stupid, could cares less or a dangerous cocktail of all of the above.

But it got me thinking, and yes I realize that cops here have been known to be lax in certain situations about that sort of thing. But like I said it got me thinking. No not that I would like to have the cajones to say I walking down the road and smoking something so. No nothing like that. I aint smoking a thing. Wunnah know that I already have limited brain cells and I cant be killing off nuh more with drugs dat aint name alcohol. No man it just got me thinking that some fellas have all the luck. I mean I know the cops sometimes duz be rather lax on a fella doing dat but most fellas would hide and do it rather than take that chance that they get stopped.

No it just got me thinking that as I said before Dog luck aint cat luck. He could walk bout and do that and police would pass him by like nothing and he could get away with it but then to balance out things you will have certain fellas dat would just try and do something as simple as jaywalk and all a sudden dem finding themselves skin up down pun the ground, three big teeth police Dobermans and a fella with a glove coming to strip search dem. Life just aint fair is it. But then I guess that is the whole point of the saying "Dog luck aint cat luck" ..... or is it the other way around? I cant remember.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Double Dipping

Ripping the microphone till I'm .......60

If I was in front of Shakespeare I''d battle the punk and take his ish

Come to me as the rap god of lyrical syllable

What can I say KRS-one rocked the house! Yea the Rakim show was hyped but I was a little troubled by the fact that his dj for the night, the legendary Kid Capri, wasn't scratching vinyl. The real hip hop is over where? I guess I'm just like that Michell n Ness gear i.e I'm a throwback.... back to where DJ's actually rocked vinyl. Vinyl man I've never been able to master the skill myself but I've always had that awe for the cut and the scratch where a dj can create something amazing with the wax.

Not that I'm dissing the Kid Capri cause he represented lovely no doubt. I'm just saying I was a little disappointed that he was using the Serato scratch and mixing mp3 and not vinyl. Its nitpicking really cause you still need the skills to rock that stuff and the overall show was tight. I mean Rakim even did one of his tracks while actually sitting down on a chair in the middle of the stage. I've never seen that at a hip hop show before and the ability to do that and still rock, maintain the audience attention and captivate the crowd was pretty amazing. But then again Rakim is a living legend with those classics, that repertoire, that the crowd can just sing along with word for word syllable for syllable. "I kick a hole in the speaker pull the mic and then jet!"" I take 7 mcs put em in a line.... " That real Boom Bap!

Actually interesting thing about that show. Don't think I've ever seen so many camera phones and video cameras at a concert like that before. In fact the whole show is available on youtube. I may actually post a bit of it over at the other site where I talk to myself.

Toronto the old school Mecca that it has recently become has seen KRS, Rakim, Chubb Rock, Mc Lyte, Schooly D, Tribe called Quest and BCC in the space of a few weeks. Its crazy!

Anyway back to the KRS-one show. Despite the fact that the sound system sucked big time Kris really ripped it. If I had to nitpick I'd say that whole "the real hip hop is over here" call and response bit gets a bit overdone and a little tired but other than that no complaints the show was nice.

Krs did his range of hits from Criminal Minded all the way through the BDP era into his solo era dropping little bits of freestyle along the way as his dj, DJ Cocheze represented on the ones and twos complete with vinyl. Kris even rocked a couple of his classics over straight classical music instrumentals; some Mozart tune and Pachobel's canon I believe. How's that for originality? Not only that but at one point he actually came from off stage and did a segment of his show in the midst of the crowd moving from spot to spot. How many hip hop artists can do that? Yep imagine standing there in the crowd and Kris is right next to you rhyming. That's crazy son!

The crowd was pretty hyped too. I got closer to the stage than a guy my age should but I held my own. Yo kids was straight wilding up front.

Anyway it a great concert although according to my boy not as good as the Hamilton show last Monday because there KRS did a two hour set, got some of the crowd to come up and freestyle and also had more screaming girls than a Nick Lachey concert.

Now you're probably wondering what my double dipping title is all about. Well the concert venue for the show double dipped. I kid you not. It was the strangest thing. Got to the spot at 9 when doors were supposed to open and got in without spending any real time in line. That never happens at a hip hop show.

The show pretty much started at 10 when it was supposed to start. That pretty much never ever happens at a hip hop show.

But at 1130 the show was ending. That never happens at a hip hop show. At 1130 the dj is usually warming up the crowd with Sound Bwoy Bureill, Passing me by, T.R.O.Y and How high and saying that the act is in the building and will be out in 15 minutes. And that's when the show was supposed to start at 9.

Well as it turns out when we were leaving we saw a lineup outside and found out it was rnb night at the venue as well so they held the concert early and then kicked out the hip hop crowd for their usual Friday night rnb jam. Now I don't know what you think but I call that double dipping and I think that's foul.

Saturday, October 07, 2006


Photobucket - Video and Image Hostingto Tamara Dobson aka Cleopatra Jones. Everyone remembers Pam Grier and her Foxy Brown and Coffey characters but no one talks about Tamara and Cleopatra Jones which in my opinion was a more positive image than Grier's.

Also R.I.P to Buck O'Neil the Negro leagues baseball superstar. If only they had allowed Blacks in the Major leagues back then he might today have the reverence associated with Babe Ruth. I wonder if they will finally vote him into the Hall of Fame now that he's dead.

On another note happy thanksgiving Canada oh and check for my review of the T'cha in a bit.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Just another rainy Wednesday

I should really get ready for work but whatever! Yesterday as I walk through the torrential rainfall to the bus stop to go to work two thoughts popped into my head.

First thing was boy I really cant believe that you walking through all this lightning and thunder to go to work. Ya like ya really get Canadianized cause ya done know if ya was in Barbados ya would be calling in late or work would have shut down cause the river bus stand get flood out or River Road impassable or somebody had to row two lil children from school up in St James. Meanwhile everybody looking to run up Big B's to get a flashlight, double D batteries and three cans of corned beef.

I mean yesterday seriously lightning licking off all around me like holiday fireworks and thunder bussing shots like Hollywood summer action flicks. And is not like ya can duck the rain, once ya step out raincoat, umbrella and all that don't make no difference ya getting hit! Is madness for me to going to work in that sort of weather ya kno! Is like man walking through gun fight to go to work. Why?

Plus what is the point of me getting soaked to have to go to work, then I ketch the cold and I out for two weeks? Oh wait I forget when ya sick here you don't stay home, ya duz go work and get everybody else sick. Chupse! Why be the only miserable person share and share alike. Next thing everybody sneezing and weezing and sniffling and some even reach the stage of some big big thunder like rattling chest coughs that duz shake the windows three offices down. You minding ya business and all a sudden you feeling the floor shake and walls buckle and you scream earthquake and jump under your desk only for somebody to pass by your cubicle and say no man dat aint no earthquake is just George down in payroll coughing. He had that cold for two weeks now and it like it getting worse. Worse? Worse? The man near turn big bad wolf huff and puff and cough and cough and blow down the building and all you can say is cold get worse? Chupse!

Meanwhile George aint stan home one day yet but he passing on the cold like relay baton (STICK!) or a game of tag. HA ha you're it but ya still aint stanning home you coming work to pass the cold on to the next unsuspecting victim.

Anyway that was what I think about as I walked to the bus stop. Well that and wondering if one of these lightning bolts strike me if I would develop any superpowers? I did always want to be able to walk through walls like Vision ya know.

Looka I done with this talk I going and call in sick.

p.s Toronto people if ya din know Colin Channer reading from Iron Ballons at Indigo at Bay and Bloor tomorrow Thursday evening at 7pm. Channer has a story called "How to beat a child the good and proper way" Is a good read trust me! Go check it out.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Onboard computers

Chips that power nuclear bombs power my sega
Return of the Crooklyn Dodgers - Jeru

Was just watching TV. Some new show Ugly somebody or the other, it look like it have potential for now till I get tired a watching it in two weeks. Anyway commercial time came and I aint paying too much mind just trying to find where I put the remote so I can channel surf and see what else on.

Same set a damn foolish commercials on as usual. If it aint feminine products is chunky soup which to be honest dem should just call stew cause if it that chunky you can pour it on top of some rice n peas so to me that make it stew not nuh soup. I know we West Indians accustom to some thick soups but don't let dem fool ya man the chunky soup they advertising is really beef stew. Aint no two ways about it! Is just them aint want nobody to feel they eating unhealthy by marketing beef stew in a can that is all. I mean think about it. Which sound better?

"Hey man What is that you eating?"
"Oh this is a can of Chunky soup"

Compare that to "oh this is beef stew in a can"

See what I mean? Alright then!

Then a whole set a commercial about new drugs allo this an allevo than and the next was on. All sorts of drugs for depression and suppression and regression and errectile, projectile difficulties and all sorta business which duz mek me laugh. No don't get me wrong I aint laughing at the people with the illnesses I laughing at how the ads duz talk big and bold about how great the new drugs are and then at the end of it all somebody duz usually come out in a low voice just above a whisper and real real fast give ya a little disclaimer about all the side effects. Something like "Warning cia-vico-nutra-allo-aden has been known to cause diarrhea, nausea, headaches and anal leakage."

Anal wha? Lawd god ave mercy! How sick you would have to be where anal leakage is a good side effect that better than what you have. Wuhloss boy!

Anyways like I was saying I trying to find the remote when some foolish toothbrush commercial come on. I still aint paying no mind when all of a sudden I hear the man say 'the onboard computer will...." Wait a minute. He aint just say onboard computer in a toothbrush did he? No man my ears hearing things. No but the missis confirm that is what the fella say. Well then to quote my Jamaican bredren "Blouse n skirt"!

Of all the combinations I didn't expect to see in my lifetime toothbrush and onboard computer might be way up near the top of the list. Well well well. What is the world coming to? Toothbrushes that going to tell you when you brush long enough and when is time to change the bristles.

And ya know what I think about this toothbrush and likewise technology? Man I feel some of these technologies mekkin we lazy and slow witted. I mean don't tek me wrong I not a dinosaur of the technical age but really these things say they making life easier but what they doing is dulling ya damn common sense. Ya mean now ya aint even got to know when is time to change a toothbrush or how long ya brush ya teeth for and ya relying on a computer for that? Chupse! Suppose somebody mess up the onboard computer and got you brushing for two hours till you brush off all the enamel and ya gums raw cause you waiting for the toothbrush to tell you when to stop?

Wha pretty soon they going have fork with microchip to tell ya when ya eat enough and computerized hair brush so that you don't over brush and damage ya hair. Wait an see I aint claiming to be no Nostradamus but I see dat sorta foolishness in we future.

Then we sit an wonder why the yout so lazy and obesity rampant and people aint seem to have less common sense than before. Chupse!