Thursday, September 28, 2006

Onboard computers

Chips that power nuclear bombs power my sega
Return of the Crooklyn Dodgers - Jeru

Was just watching TV. Some new show Ugly somebody or the other, it look like it have potential for now till I get tired a watching it in two weeks. Anyway commercial time came and I aint paying too much mind just trying to find where I put the remote so I can channel surf and see what else on.

Same set a damn foolish commercials on as usual. If it aint feminine products is chunky soup which to be honest dem should just call stew cause if it that chunky you can pour it on top of some rice n peas so to me that make it stew not nuh soup. I know we West Indians accustom to some thick soups but don't let dem fool ya man the chunky soup they advertising is really beef stew. Aint no two ways about it! Is just them aint want nobody to feel they eating unhealthy by marketing beef stew in a can that is all. I mean think about it. Which sound better?

"Hey man What is that you eating?"
"Oh this is a can of Chunky soup"

Compare that to "oh this is beef stew in a can"

See what I mean? Alright then!

Then a whole set a commercial about new drugs allo this an allevo than and the next was on. All sorts of drugs for depression and suppression and regression and errectile, projectile difficulties and all sorta business which duz mek me laugh. No don't get me wrong I aint laughing at the people with the illnesses I laughing at how the ads duz talk big and bold about how great the new drugs are and then at the end of it all somebody duz usually come out in a low voice just above a whisper and real real fast give ya a little disclaimer about all the side effects. Something like "Warning cia-vico-nutra-allo-aden has been known to cause diarrhea, nausea, headaches and anal leakage."

Anal wha? Lawd god ave mercy! How sick you would have to be where anal leakage is a good side effect that better than what you have. Wuhloss boy!

Anyways like I was saying I trying to find the remote when some foolish toothbrush commercial come on. I still aint paying no mind when all of a sudden I hear the man say 'the onboard computer will...." Wait a minute. He aint just say onboard computer in a toothbrush did he? No man my ears hearing things. No but the missis confirm that is what the fella say. Well then to quote my Jamaican bredren "Blouse n skirt"!

Of all the combinations I didn't expect to see in my lifetime toothbrush and onboard computer might be way up near the top of the list. Well well well. What is the world coming to? Toothbrushes that going to tell you when you brush long enough and when is time to change the bristles.

And ya know what I think about this toothbrush and likewise technology? Man I feel some of these technologies mekkin we lazy and slow witted. I mean don't tek me wrong I not a dinosaur of the technical age but really these things say they making life easier but what they doing is dulling ya damn common sense. Ya mean now ya aint even got to know when is time to change a toothbrush or how long ya brush ya teeth for and ya relying on a computer for that? Chupse! Suppose somebody mess up the onboard computer and got you brushing for two hours till you brush off all the enamel and ya gums raw cause you waiting for the toothbrush to tell you when to stop?

Wha pretty soon they going have fork with microchip to tell ya when ya eat enough and computerized hair brush so that you don't over brush and damage ya hair. Wait an see I aint claiming to be no Nostradamus but I see dat sorta foolishness in we future.

Then we sit an wonder why the yout so lazy and obesity rampant and people aint seem to have less common sense than before. Chupse!


4panist said...

I''m still laughing at the part about brushing off the enamel! good one J-dee.

Honest said...

Lol! Hilarious. I always wonder about these commercials and their drug side effect list. I guess by law they need to let people know but I wish they'd say it out loud and not whisper.

Amadeo said...

On board computer..WTF. I'd rather have a device that let's me know which women in the room are crazy so I can avoid them...I've managed to brush my teeth for years without technological assistance.

Melody said...

Really: what would make that a tolerable side effect?! Ah don't like technology just 4 technology's sake. Rather B a dinosaur. U won't hear 'bout no dinosaur get electrocuted wid har toothbrush. Old way is de safe way.

Scratchie said... true JDid.

Abeni said...

Lol,maybe they should just do a toothbrush that won't require use of hands.

Luke Cage said...

I've laughed about products being advertised on tv also with that little barely audible disclaimer at the end too. Don't it sound like the guy is also at an auction when they talk REAL fast. Its almost like they want to be able to say in case something goes wrong, "we did say it at the end of the commercial!" - lol - too funny J!

Shotta M said...

Chunky Beef Soup or Beef Stew...good point! Reminds me of the Emperor's New Clothes - an expensive invisible suit or plain naked - nu true?

Ravenbajan said...

I agree... technology is making us lazy and stupid. Just go into a store and trying paying for an item that is $2.55 with $3.00. Half the time the teenager behind the counter is stumped as to how much change to give back until the till tells them.

Stunner said...

I guess when they say soup it sounds a more healthy to some people who are dieting, who knows.

Yeh, everything seem to have a computer in it now! I saw an ad with a pen that helps your child to solve mathematical questions, so the fork thing might not be to far fetched after all!

brooklyn babe said...

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Mad Bull said...

Good one, JDid

Dr. D. said...

Anal leakage!??? Rass....gimme me rash any day as a side effect...least I might be able to fix that one.

Your chunky soup/stew thing reminds me of a friend who told me that her Pops said he cooked stew peas one day. Well, Pops didn't quite get the consistency right. So, the end result was if you added water, it was red peas soup and if you made it cook a bit longer then it was stew peas....

Gela's Words said...

Hahaha. Hey Jdid, I don't think I've heard any West Indian with the 'Wohloss' thing that you like, so I'm here exclaiming and wondering if ah get the pronunciation right. hehe.

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