Wednesday, March 28, 2007


So the new Miss Jamaica Universe is a bonified Rastafarian! (sorry couldn't find a decent link to the story)

Hey I ain't no rasta and wont pretend to be an expert but ummm are rastas allowed to parade on stage in swimwear? I'm just asking a question don't crucify me now.

No I'm not trying to keep a good woman down or saying that the Empress dem not smart or beautiful enough to win competition. Its just I just never thought of the Empress dem as beauty show contestants showing off their bodies like that, that's all. Rasta women always come off as the earthy type not the flamboyant beauty show type. I'm just kind of curious to the authentic rasta credentials of this yout. Yes she has dreads but same way ya doan have fe dread to be rasta isn't the opposite true?

Anyway like I say I just asking questions of the Idren dem.

Plus at least she ain't like Miss Jamaica World an get pregnant and have to give up the crown. Actually I kind of like that article I link above to the pregnant Miss Jamaica. The way they make it seem as if the girl do so wrong by getting pregnant. Is like they think beauty queen supposed to be a nun. Ya don't see nun in beauty pageant and ya don't see beauty queen in evening gown at convent. Yet dem play dem talking about "Unfortunately, Miss Lawrence has made an error of judgement and is now facing up to the consequences" and "her actions could potentially harm the tradition that is the Miss Jamaica World pageant and past and future winners. I know that she intends to do all within her powers to mitigate this potential harm"

It ain't like the girl is a terrorist or a murderer she just get pregnant. She ain't the first pretty girl nor the last one to do that. Next they will be telling me all beauty queens are pure and unspoilt. Chupse!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


There is this old lady who takes the same bus as me sometimes in the morning. She's old and she has some type of disability and she gets on near the end of the route, close to the station.

She always gets one of the seats up front, at least from what I've seen when I've been on the bus, because well I guess folks on my route are actually courteous about the whole courtesy seating business.

The thing is as I've sat near the back and watched, on every occasion when this lady gets on the bus she gets on with some sort of grouse. Its not like folk remain seated and refuse her a seat but as soon as she gets on she starts carrying on, sometimes with profanities about why she deserves a seat and why younger people shouldn't be sitting in the front of the bus. From my vantage point I find the whole thing rather annoying actually and its not even directed at me.

I could see if big hardback, can stand up, people were depriving her of a seat but she is so well known on this route now that all people have to do is see her at the bus stop and they'll start moving from her preferred seating. Yet she continues to make a nuisance of herself when she gets on the bus tongue lashing those who actually got up to make way for her all the way to the station.

Yes I'm sure she's contributed to the city and she's old and we need to be nice to her but shut the bleep up would ya. We know you need a seat, drawing additional attention to yourself and making folk in the front feel uncomfortable helps no one.

I hadn't seen her for quite a while until this morning and there she was back at it again.

To be continued.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Who's your daddy?

What is this gal want gi me jacket!

Boy I not even sure how to deal with this article. I never see nuttin so yet!

Anyway for those who wont check the link apparently a couple, he's white, she's Hispanic who recently gave birth to a daughter is suing the fertility clinic they used because the baby's skin is too dark. Apparently it seems the clinic messed up on the insemination and used sperm from someone of another ethnicity and race. In other words it sound like somebody screw up and they end up with a black chile!

But I want to know why dem complaining? They ain't see black children is all the rage now? They ain't notice that Madonna and Angelina Jolie going all the way to far off places like Africa just to have the privilege of adopting black children? They shouldn't be complaining they should be celebrating! "Hallelujah, praise de lord, boy we hit the jackpot! We get a black chile and we didn't have to go all the way to Africa for her."

In all seriousness though I understand their complaint cause they went in thinking they were going to get a child that was biologically a combination of both partners but ended up with one that was not. That's got to be a bit disturbing especially for daddy.

But still what does this suit really prove and I really don't dig the statement that said "the Andrewses complain that they have been forced to raise a child who is "not even the same race, nationality, color ... as they are." How ya mean forced to raise the child? Why at least I would figure the mother couldn't be so stupid to be involved in this stupid talk cause she ain't carry the child in her stomach for 9 months? It ain't fully her child regardless of color? The child nationality, color and race ain't partially hers? She acting like them inject a alien life form in she or something. Chupse!

And then there was this gem from the parents "While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her; it is simply impossible to ignore,'' Wha cudear they nuff to give the chile an inferiority complex.

Look I know wunnah trying to get lil money from the clinic but use some nicer wording in the legal documents nuh man.

And how the hell do you explain this to the child when she's older? Yea ummm we were forced to take care of you. You were a little black unwanted child and we sued the clinic cause you actually were a mistake. We were aiming for a nice little blond or brunette and ended up with you a lil nappy headed negro child.

Yea is only me seeing years of therapy in that child's future?

Personally I feel the mother get it on with a brother and now pretending that the chile is the husband's. Wouldn't be the first or last time something so happen. But she could have told the man that the chile strike back to some old, old grand or great grand parent that was mixed with black or something instead a blaming the fertility clinic.

And as for the father he getting on like he is the first man that get a chile that ain't look like him? He never hear bout mommy's baby father's maybe. Wha my chile doan look me an I can't sue nuhbody. Chupse! :-)

Anyway all I can say is poor chile.

p:s new Cricket World Cup blog for those interested. Glorious Uncertainties. Check it out.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Spring again

just like that Biz Markie song. Or at least it will be by tomorrow.

Yep Spring again. Time for all the crazies to emerge from their winter slumber. I always find that one of the funnier things about spring in Toronto. Its always like every crazy person was in hibernation and then suddenly they all wake up and come out. Oh well.

Hopefully it will at least feel like spring as well. So far for the past couple of weeks we've been having our ups and downs in temperatures, mostly downs. Tomorrow, the first day of spring it is/was supposed to be 14 degrees Celsius. So why is it that today was -8? Is temperature changes like that that have everybody on the streets sniffling and coughing.

Actually one thing I've noticed about Toronto weather especially of late is that the transitions between seasons are not at all very gradual. everything just occurs suddenly. One day its -8 the next its +14 the next its +25 in spring and in the fall one day its +10 the next day its -6. no wonder all sorts of flu and cold and bugs duz be stirring around this place.

Oh well!

Anyway today Cranky post about how she attracting nuff attention from the opposite sex (she has the kavorka so they say) and someone said maybe its because of spring. Well I am here to confess that I too have been attracting some attention. Yes is true! Don't look so shocked. I still may have it going on. Not sure what it is but it might be going on.

Anyhow I was walking to the subway this evening and there were these two shapely sistas in front of me on my way up the street. One of them looked back and saw me and then with a twinkle in her eye said something to the other one who promptly looked back at me and smiled. Ok so I don't know if she had a twinkle in her eye or not but I telling ya she say something to the other one and then the other one look back and smile at me. Yeaaah baby!

Woo hoo, I still have it, whatever it is, lol.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Its just a game

Or is it?

I kind of wondered about that today after reading that Pakistan's cricket coach Bob Woolmer died in Jamaica this morning. One can only speculate as to what really happened until official statements are made but you've got to wonder.

Pakistan one of the supposed stronger teams in world cricket go down on St. Patrick's day (Saturday) to the Irish in a shocker. Knocked out of the Super 8's barely a couple of days into the Cricket World Cup tournament. Oh man! Who, even if you were Irish, would have imagined that outcome?

The first thing that popped into my head yesterday whilst following the games online as Pakistan lost to Ireland and India another powerhouse team lost to lowly Bangladesh was wow cricket truly is a game of glorious uncertainties as its often billed. The second thing that popped into my head was I really feel sorry for those Pakistani and Indian players and coaches. I mean us folks in/from the Caribbean take our cricket seriously but no way near as fanatical as those from the sub-continent. I think the only thing that can compare to their zeal for cricket is the South American passion for futbol.

Yep, I was thinking, those players may be in some trouble at home. Heads will roll and knowing of some of the previous reactions by fans when those teams have lost games well I figured I wouldn't want to be any of those players or their families right about now. Indeed reading the news today where one player's home was attacked in India and there were protests in Pakistan calling for the arrest or death of the coach and captain I just wasn't really that surprised by the reactions. Yea those reactions are a bit over the top but similar have happened before.

Still I thought yea its all just a game isn't it? Its just some stupid fans really don't get that point and realize that its really not about life and death.

But in this case with coach Bob Woolmer it looks like it was about life and death. His death. I mean I can't say definitively that it was the stress of losing and seeing his team knocked out of the competition, or the thoughts of facing the music back in Pakistan that killed him but on first glance that would seem to be the case. One day he's a loses a game, the next he loses his life. Life... and death sure are funny ain't they. Puts a lot of stuff in perspective. When you lose a game you always have a chance to bounce back somehow although it may take some time. However when you lose you life? Well ain't no real bouncing back from that one I suppose.

Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt they say. Well someone did get hurt, hurt so much they died so have the fun and games stopped?

Woolmer was a coach so sports was his job and maybe we can chalk this up to job stress. Wouldn't be the first chap to die from that nor will he be the last. Still for all the money and prestige and endorsements and pride involved we still just think of sports as just sports. Its supposed to be intense but not that intense that you die. Its still supposed to be about fun. You give your all on the field and in your preparation to be on the field but its still just a game isn't it? We don't think too much about the folks who take it that much to heart. The folks who lose sleep and weight, and whose blood pressure rises or whose health suffers from sports do we.

I still say its all a game but damn if a game, its results and its repercussions don't put life in perspective.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

March Madness

What can I say this March is a great month for sports.

Not that March isn't usually a great month for sports but this March is made even better by the Cricket World Cup. Look! West Indies won yesterday over Pakistan so forgive me for being slightly happy for a moment. Tomorrow I can get back to cussing the islands for wasting money on this event and robbing patrons with outrageous prices at the concession stands but today........

Well today I'm trying to follow Australia vs Scotland and Kenya vs Canada. Yea not the stuff of sporting legends but every game counts towards the big picture. Thank God for the Internet which makes it possible for me to get ball by ball scores and even radio coverage and sometimes video feeds of the matches. I still remember back in the days, before the Internet, having to call home or use that Toronto Star phone service (Can't remember the name. Was it Star Phone?) which gave you match updates all at its own pace just to find out how my team was doing.

Anyway besides cricket the other great thing about every March is the NCAA March Madness tournament. To paraphrase Dick Vitale or in the immortal words of Austin Powers. Yeaaaaa baby!

You don't understand my love of March Madness do you? How often to you get to watch 32 basketball games in two days or any sporting event where in every game played each team is literally playing for their tournament life? Its win or get the bleep outta Dodge. Yea the NBA is cool especially a nice game 7 of a playoff series but March Madness that starts off with like 32 game 7's in 2 days. Now that's fantastic!

I usually take the first two days of March madness off. Why? Well its just an exceptional time of year and a great time to veg out. You don't understand my fanaticism do you? Why I'm still trying to plan how I'm going to get a decent lunch tomorrow and not miss any games from my couch.

I mean March Madness just sucks me in. This is the time of the year where I just tell people I'm ignoring them; family, friends, children it don't matter. Don't mess with my March Madness focus.

From the time the brackets are announced I'm on it. Scouring the Internet for info, entering as many free pools as I can find (the days of putting money on this thing are long gone with my College days), chatting with anyone who may have actually watched more of the season unfold than the annual Duke, UNC game and thereby is ahead of me in terms of actual knowledge of what to except from the selected teams.

Trying to answer questions like whats the record of the top ranked teams? Who are the Cinderella teams? How many number 5s will be beaten by number 12s this year? Should I choose Number 9s over Number 8s? Which lower seeded player has the most NBA ready player? Where are those cursed Duke blue bas...... ummmm I mean devils ranked? Who or where exactly are Gongaza, Creighton, Holy Cross, Xavier, Old Dominion and George Washington?

And yes it is imperative that I watch as much of the games as possible. Its intense, its dramatic, its heartbreaking, its exhilarating, its big man crying over sports whether they win or lose, its 40 minutes of pure action down to the last second.

Plus how else can I, a few months hence, objectively sit and cuss NBA teams and GM's on draft day as they overlook proven College stars for long shots and European nobodies. How else would I have known that Dwayne Wade should have gone higher in the draft or that the Raptors should have held onto Kareem Rush instead of trading him for Chris Jefferies a few years back. With any luck I'll see the NBA stars of the future and make my predictions on not just the hyped ones like Kevin Durant and Greg Oden but some more obscure small forward or super quick point guard leading a mid major with grit and determination through the first round.

It gets no better than this folks.

Now to get back to my biggest dilemma. How do I follow cricket scores when the computer is upstairs but the TV and couch are downstairs.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Life as a shorty

Life as a shorty shouldn't be so ruff
Wu Tang - C.R.E.A.M

And just when I thought it couldn't get worse than the teenagers giving the little kids weed now comes a story of a woman who decided to give new meaning to the term crack baby by giving cocaine to her 20 month old.

The words hell and hand basket come immediately to mind. Sigh!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Mmmmm ....... Food

Well World Cup cricket is starting Sunday in the Caribbean. Well actually it has started already but so far just warm up matches are being played.

Last year almost a year in advance I blogged about this event and questioned whether we, the people of the Caribbean, would actually see the highly touted economic returns from this event. That question remains I guess, we'll see in a few months or so.

Back then when I wrote that blog though, I was just thinking about the financial issues but now as things get going I'm starting to realize just how much more there is to this thing than I ever really thought about.

I mean yes the Caribbean isn't made up of first world countries but lawd ave mercy how far were we or did we go to accommodate our guests?

I mean I'm not saying don't accommodate people but at certain points you have to say no that cant fly and make the guests accept your policy too. Instead it just looks like we say to them in advance do whatever you want, we will accept whatever laws you see as fit without question after all don't mind us, is just we live here but you can act as if this is your own place.

What am I talking about? Well I wont even get into the silly story about bajan policemen getting searched at the cricket stadium in Barbados by cricket security people cause that one just too embarrassing to me. I had to hang muh head in shame when I read that.

No what I'm talking about is I see alot of us, as Caribbean people, giving up parts of our culture to host these games. The way we usually watch cricket was deemed not appropriate by the authorities and changes were/are being made.

Cant have all those horns and conch shells making noise in tourist ears. Cant say this, cant say that it might be offensive.

Then there is this whole issue with food. A fella cant even bring a drink of water into a stadium , cause they treating you like the airlines these days, searching you like immigration and nothing cant bring in ya hand or handbags. I guess they are worried about terrorists but still things seem mighty heavy handed.

Plus it seems like with these new security restrictions also applying to the immediate areas around the ground you cant even find a place outside the stadium to buy food or a drink so your only option is the concession stand.

How could we allow this? Ok I mean I understand to some extent the you cant bring in your own food point as the event coordinators want to sell you their expensive stuff from their concession stands and they will point out well you cant bring food into an NBA game or a NFL game or the like. True, good point but cricket could be seen as an exception here cause a cricket match isn't some three hour basketball game its a whole damn day. You go to cricket like you go to work. You get there at 9 or 10 in the morning and don't leave til after 5. Cricket is an outing. You need three squares at cricket, why ya think the players duz have water break, lunch break and tea break? Its not just for fun, its that its a long game and just like the players need their nutrition I think the spectators need theirs too.

Plus lets look at this culturally. Anybody at all who knows traditional West Indian cricket knows that cricket is an outing, a picnic, a lime even and people go into a cricket ground with a picnic basket, or a cooler with a whole heap of food for not only them but in most cases to share with others. Anyone who has heard Paul Keens Douglas' Tanti Merle at the Oval and been to a cricket match knows that his humorous tale contains only slight exaggerations on the girth of the picnic baskets and coolers that people used to bring to cricket back in the days.

Look even a small bony man like myself would walk with two or three hamcutters, a litre a Pine Hill juice, some fish cakes and some other drinks and that is just for me alone. Plus ya done know that if the spirit hit me that food didn't seeing lunch time at all. It might not even mek it past water break.

Ok I'm just joking but the point is Cricket in the Caribbean has always been more than a game Going to an international match is a social event alot more so than say going to a basketball or hockey game in North America. Why? Because you are at cricket the whole day, plus the islands are small and chances are you will definitely see somebody auntie or cousin that you know or somebody that used to work with you 10 years ago and you will get to chat and converse with them at the game. Its hard to make friends at something that you're just going to for for two intense hours like basketball but a cricket match you have ebbs and flows in the on field action so you might sit down next to a complete stranger in the morning and start chatting during a lull in play and by tea you are buying them drinks or borrowing their transistor radio to find out exactly how the commentators say the man was lbw when you see clearly he play bat and pad.

Also at cricket sometimes the play in the stands duz be more exciting than the play on the field too.

Cricket is a social event, a chance to make friends, to cuss, weep, jeer, praise, even chat up the odd woman or two. It is also a chance to eat and drink and eat and drink you must cause you're there for an entire day, you really don't have a choice unless you're fasting.

So no you cant just expect a fella to sit down in a stand for 6+ hours and suck on air or alternatively pay really exorbitant prices every couple of hours to get something to eat. Man that will get very expensive and annoying (as the patrons line up) for the patrons real quick.

Now look I'm not saying let a guy bring in enough food to feed the 5000 but did the planners think about the absolute and draconian measures they were instituting regarding the entry of food and drink and how it affects the fans. Surely some allowance could have been made for even say two bottles of water or a couple of fish cakes to be brought in. Cuhdear!

To me it just feel like we Caribbean people, or whoever it was at the table representing we when they were negotiating the event parameters, just sit down and nod their head to every proposal that was given by the International cricketing bodies without expressing any sort of issues they might have with the parameters.

Ya know what I'm saying?

But then again who am I to complain, ya cant live in the old times. I guess this is the price of progress.

Monday, March 05, 2007

All we do is Spark Mad Izm

marijuana pon di corna
it keep mi calma it mek mi smarta

Marijuana - Richie Spice

I was trying to make time today to blog about last Thursday's storm and my trek through nature's exfoliant aka freezing rain and snow flakes that duz lash ya in the face like dry rice grains. I tell ya my short walk home in that storm was like a free facial. Plus you should see all the tree branches and such that came down from the high winds. The day after all the trees around my place were covered in ice. It was quite a sight.

But yes I was going to blog about that ...until I saw this. Two Texas teenagers are under arrest for giving marijuana to a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old boy. Imagine that!

I mean I know some fellas that start smoking early and I know some children who have tasted alcohol at very young ages but giving a 2 year old weed? Now that is pretty bad. I mean actually lighting a blunt and giving it to a 2 year old child? Man that's just wrong. Come on now there's got to be a minimum age on puff, puff, pass.

What got me too is that the children's mother was in the next room sleeping and she "didn't realize" this was going on.

What could that really mean? That she is accustomed to the two guys smoking up around her kids or that she knew that they gave drugs to the youngsters and didn't care.

Talking about one she was sleeping off a toothache. Toothache mi eye! She was probably high too.

And though the story doesn't say how old she is I saw her on TV and she looks very young probably a teenager herself or just barely out of her teens. The children raising children. Then she has the audacity to look at the cameras and say she don't think the children should be in foster care they should be home with her.

Home with she so they can get high again? Chupse! She want two hard slaps or locking up. What kind of mother lets this kind of stuff happen. Pure lawlessness!