Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Can ya help a brother out

I saw this on userfriendly.org which is a pretty cool site in my opinion (sorta like Dilbert but for techies). Thought I'd share. Go check out userfriendly yourself too, like I said its a cool site.

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Sunday, February 26, 2006

Winter Olympics

I've seen a few posts on the Winter Olympics amongst the regular sites I visit. I cant really say too much on these games as I've been a very infrequent viewer of the whole thing myself. Yea I love sports in general but I just never got with the winter thing. Yea ok you don't find a lot of blacks in this arena I guess that may be an issue but for me I think its more of a cultural thing. I wasn't raised in Canada or the cold so skiing, ice hockey, skating and the like are just rather foreign to me. So the same way I wouldn't expect most Canadians to follow cricket I just cant get with the Luge, speed skating or curling. I'll watch it if its exciting though, which completely rules out figure skating, so I did see a few events just never really invested any emotional or mental energy into following them.

Image hosting by PhotobucketCanada did really well in the Winter Olympics this year with a record 24 medals. I always wondered in the past why Canada was always so crappy at these Olympics. I mean its not like we don't have snow and cold and ice and the like so what gives? We should be like Winter Olympic superpowers because God knows we seriously struggle to win medals at the summer Olympics. Oh right I forgot Canada doesn't put much money into sports.

Anyway what limited viewing I did of these Olympics raised a few questions for me which I felt like sharing.

One. Who designed those medals at Turin? You know what I'm talking about. The medals that looked like huge donuts or rather bootleg dvds.

Two. How does one decide that one wants to be involved in something like the Luge? Not questioning it as a sport just wondering where on the earth I'd go to find a Luge track, doesn't seem like something you could easily put your kid into.

Image hosting by PhotobucketThree. (Stole this one from Amadeo). Why isn't snow shovelling an Olympic sport? For that matter why isn't running for the bus after a bout of freezing rain an Olympic sport too. How about driving on the highway in zero visibility in snow and slushy conditions. Now that ish deserves a medal!

Four. If it was anyone other than Wayne Gretzky in charge of Hockey Canada how much more critisism would one hear of the Olympic team and its failure to win a medal? Yea they took mucho flak but imagine if it wasn't Gretzky it would have been a straight crucifixion considering their showing.

Five. Why am I even doing this blog when I clearly don't care enough about the Winter Olympics.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Coincidence?

Have you guys heard about the huge bank robberies in Britain lately? On Thursday, a bunch of criminals kidnapped a bank manager and his family and forced him to help them steal 40 million pounds in some town in the Kent region. Check this link for more details.

Then today in Belfast, Northern Ireland using a similar M.O, criminals robbed another bank of around 200,000 pounds after kidnapping a manager and his family and forcing him to help them commit the crime.

Image hosting by PhotobucketHey wait a second! Doesn't Harrison Ford have a movie out, released like last week, in which he plays a bank employee and part of the movie synopsis reads like "When a ruthless criminal mastermind (Paul Bettany) kidnaps his family, Jack (Harrison Ford) is forced to find a flaw in his system and steal $100 million."

Coincidence hmmmm!

All I have to say is that its a good thing that Firewall is a Harrison Ford movie and not something starring someone like say I don't know maybe umm the rapper 50 Cents. If this was a 50 cents movie ya dun know we would hear how the man promoting violence and he needs to be banned from entering Britain and how he influencing the yout and he need locking up and all sort of stuff like that.

I lie?

You're not going to hear that Harrison Ford need to be banned from entering Britain though. Why that would just be preposterous! Pure poppycock indeed!


And while I'm making these incredible, incendiary type comparisons just for the hell of it let me hit on another crime that caught my interest this week. A 50 something year old Canadian couple was killed in Mexico this week in what appears to be some sort of professional killing as they waited to go to their daughter's wedding the next day. Pretty sad story when you think of it.

Now I don't know all the details and to be honest the press has been kind of sketchy with info but I see their names, their photos, where they are from in the GTA and I see the words professional killing and well I could come up with one conclusion which its possible is way way off base but hey if they were black folk from Jane n Finch, or Malvern I would have seen as equally an invalid conclusion in the press so I wont feel too bad about my conclusion.

Which brings me to the point. When a crime involves black people up here even the innocent get painted as guilty. Ya dun know if it was a black couple who had been offed in Mexico somebody would have dropped the obligatory 'he/she was known to the police' even if it was just that the poor fellow accustomed to saying a regular good morning to Officer Browne when he see him on the road. I lie?

But if the crime doesn't involve black folk, even if it is a quote unquote professional hit you don't see the wild speculation and innuendo spreading in the press.

I dun wid dat I got diapers to change.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Race Card

"Racism still alive, they just be concealing it."
Never Let you down - Kanye West

Was reading an article on the new TV 'reality' show Black White created by Ice Cube. Remember Fox had/has a show called Wife Swap where families basically swap moms well this new show, apparently starting in March on FX, could be alternately entitled race swap.

The premise is one familiar to anyone who has read John Griffin's Black Like Me where a white dude somehow, on purpose, dyed his skin to appear black and used that to try to find out what it was like to be a black man. This show however doesn't use dye it uses Hollywood makeup artists to change the skin color of two families, one white and the other black, so that they can pose as the opposite race and experience what its like to be someone else.

And of course given its a reality show, both families have to live under the same roof for a given amount of time so we can watch some exaggerated interaction.

Sigh! Although the producers talk a good game with quotes from Cube like he hopes that the project "will expose the subtleties of racism, the layers of racism" I really cant see this show as anything more than your typical reality TV fodder which will play up the extremes for increased rating share.

Trivialize racism by reducing it to a reality TV series we can laugh and joke about at the water cooler why don't we. Ok so maybe we should be discussing racism at the water cooler and this is a good way to get a discourse started or so it may seem but in reality, well sorry in my opinion, racism really isn't that good at the water cooler cause some folks just never ever get it.

Oh well maybe I'm being too harsh, maybe there is a point to getting racism out in the open Hollywood reality style. Maybe it'll make discussion of racism cool.

Naa this show will gloss over the essence, stick to the predictable, the trite and the already known giving us a bunch of stereotypical behavior from both sides while introducing new hip phrases and trends into the public lexicon. Get ready for the n word debate, the typical so-called 'hip hop' behavior, the purse clutching, and the like while the deeper attitude issues get ignored.

Its good to read during Black History month that we are preparing to trivialize racism but maybe trivialization is the only way to start discourse who knows.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

8:21PM

The arrival of Jdid Jr. Told them he would come during the BBall all star game maybe I should name him Shaq or something. Mom and baby seem to be doing well. On my way back to the hospital to spend the night.

ps: A brother watched the whole thing and didnt faint or wasnt weirded out or anything.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Ads gone wrong

Well imagine my surprise when I came home tonight and was told that the Alexander Keiths' guy had been arrested for child porn. I mean those beer ads were actually some of the funnier ones on TV. What's next? Nobody better say anything bad about the Canadian Tire dude who one of my friends says reminds him of Flanders from the Simpsons. lol.

Ok so yea unless you live in Canada you probably wouldn't get the jist of the comments made above so I'll quickly explain. The Alexander Keiths guy is this guy in an ad for the beer of that name who has a thick Scottish accent who sees himself as a defender and protector of the beer which he is promoting. The Canadian Tire guy is this guy who is always promoting some tool, or handy household gadget available at the Canadian Tire hardware stores. He's like a goody too shoes type, all happy smiley, friendly with the neighbors and all, sort of like Mr Rogers meets Tim the Tool man Taylor (if Tim actually knew tools that is).

Still that wasn't what this blog was to be about. I wanted to talk about how some ads work and some just don't. Well actually I just wanted to talk mostly about ads that don't work. An example are a couple for the same product which have been airing in Toronto lately.

Picture this. A yout out on a tandem bicycle with his chossel (girlfriend), they are all happy and smiling and its a lovely bright beautiful day. All is well la la la la la. All of a sudden they ride under a bridge/underpass or some sort of tunnel. As they emerge once more into the sunlight, the girlfriend is gone and in her place is this dude Image hosting by Photobucket(see accompanying photo), complete with royal robe and crown. The yout looks back, sees him and looks a bit alarmed, the robed man offers him a burger, he accepts and continues pedalling and smiling along the way. Clearly he and that girl were not as close as we thought because the woman disappear and he doesn't really seem to care.

Again picture this. You are in the laundry mat washing some clothing. As you close the door to a dryer you see the said dude standing there with his robe and crown. He offers you a burger, you accept , the ad closes with you eating the burger and homeboy spinning around some of your underwear on his fingers.

Ok , hold up! Is it me or are both these ads highly questionable? First off the choice of spokesperson/symbol of the guy with a mask and crown is disturbing. Maybe I've watched one too many bank robbery movie but that mask makes me think homeboy is some sort of stick up kid looking to snatch your hard earned dollars.

Ok I mean yea imagine I man Jdid on a bicycle with a chossel, she disappear and in her place is a dude in a dress wearing a disturbing looking mask offering me a burger. Now ya dun know that couldn't work with me. First off bicycle stop pedalling, I hollaring out fa blue murder and I running or I at least asking where the woman gone. Then if I don't get a satisfactory answer again I'm either running, shouting for the police or the fella with the crown getting two big rocks in he head cause I would feel that he kidnap or attack the woman that was with me on the bike. Dares not he offer me a burger either cause first the woman disappear and now he coming to drug me. Not me and that! I cant even give the police a proper description of him since he is wearing a mask. No bosie, not me, my mudda say ya shouldn't eat from strangers and I wasn't going to be eating no burger from him regardless of how hungry I was at that point. No star that no mek it.

Second ad, again same thing. Who are these lickerish people that if an unknown man, out of the blue, offer them a burger they accepting and yamming it hard. Where ya duz find these sort a people? These are the sort of people that duz get things do to them an then complain that somebody put something in them food, drug them and had their way with them.

I mean first off look at the way the man dress. He look like he could be in his right mind? I could understand if it was a fella looking a certain way, sorta trustworthy or something and you take the burger from him (mind you I aint telling wunnah tek no food from nobody ya aint know cause them trustworthy ones might drug ya the same way quick enough too) but when you look at this man face and see that mask the first thing you should be wondering is who he is that hiding from me. Then you look and see the robe and crown and you should be thinking this fella head like it bad, I wonder which madhouse he get away from.

No way you taking even a sweetie (piece of candy) from he.

Then now he twirling around the fella underwear. What! These people like dem mad of something. From the time that man touch my bividees lashes sharing. If I cant get close enough to hit he some sorta soap powder or clorox throwing in he direction but he is not to touch my underwear.

cause see me, anytime a man come up to me in a mask and a dress, ok fine a bath robe or a royal robe in public something wrong. He up to some sort of deviant behavior and I aint want no part of he or that. No way I accepting any burger, hot dog, ham cutter, pork chop, or even pieca shirley biscuit from he. I aint want nothing to do with he and he better not try to trouble me. lol

Anyway I just want to know who are the geniuses that came up with this ad and if a fella in a mask wearing robes , that kidnap my girlfriend and then playing with my underwear supposed to be encouraging me to eat food from this place.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentines Day

Always have to preface my Valentines greetings with 'Even though I don't celebrate Valentines day' but yes I'm just here to wish everyone who celebrates it a happy valentines. Enjoy yourselves. To tell the truth I've come far in recent years in that I actually acknowledge the day these days.

don't know what its like in the other Caribbean countries but when I was growing up in Barbados some folk just took it overboard with everyone wearing red on Valentines day. Lets just say it was interesting.

Regarding Valentines day though one of my issues with it, and I have many much to de wife's chagrin, is the way it makes some single persons feel. This day can really drive some single folks into depression and I just don't like that. I can somewhat understand a day to celebrate relationships or love but the day seems geared to making you feel like less than a success if for some reason you are single at that time. To me that's just wrong.

So to any feeling depressed by this day please don't get caught up in the hype.

Anyway Valentines day is significant to me because its ironically like my year and a half blogversary. One and a half years writing this crazy stuff, who knew. Will keep it short, just want to thank all those who put up with my ramblings. Respect!

Monday, February 13, 2006

This and that

Been pretty scarce the last few weeks and I may become scarcer just getting ready for the baby's arrival and all that but thanks to the folks who continue to read here and to all my fellow bloggers whose sites I check sorry about not being a frequent visitor of late. Between work and painting, putting together stuff and just getting prepared at home. In general its been hectic.

Oh and to all those who checked out TTC drama hoped you liked it, thanks for the motivation to finish.

"That Jdid he's so hot right now!"
On another note the line above was supposed to be a take from the Zoolander movie because somehow or the other a brother like me got nominated as one of the ten hot bloggers of 2005. The wife say "hot wha? man dem really doan know you cause you aint even lukewarm den, chupse!" Boy all I have to say is a good thing they never ask for a picture before the nomination or they would take me off the hot blogger list immediately and give me the ugliest blogger alive crown cause some people say I duz mek Shabba look like Denzil.

But seriously hot blogger? What me going do with that now? I going have to start dressing different now, get me an entourage and stand around street corners going "wha gwan daughter, come check de I. ya neva know say me a hot blogger fe real!" I actually tried that this weekend and it somehow just didn't really work. Oh well back to the drawing board!

Anyway all jokes aside it was/is kinda cool being nominated. Makes a brother feel appreciated plus I'm in such wonderful company as Brother Buck who has one of the coolest blogs out there and some other cats who actually write for a living. Wow! Much love to Princess Dominque and whoever it was that nominated me. I'm just trying to hold it down for the T-dot and my West Indian bredren dem seen! p.s: Princess wunnah sure, sure there aint a monetary prize involved cause you know I could always send Theophilus to pick it up. If ya think the man had nuff chat in the TTC drama wait till ya hear him give acceptance speech, Wuhloss! :-)

And oh before you ask a brother is not a terrorist, you'll get the joke when you see the nomination photo lol.

On another level must say that we're missing the sistren Dorna and the bredren Shotta and my man Luke Cage from the blogworld lately. Not sure what's up with any of them but I hope they are all safe and return to us soon.

In other news yes the baby is due this month. Will keep you guys updated.

Image hosting by PhotobucketOh and after a pretty mild December and January, February in the T dot is looking to put things straight for winter and bring the cold, the snow and the ice. Yea just when I thought winter was going to peter out a bit, February has brought the -15s type temperatures and the snow along with it. Just waiting to see how it all plays out but seeing as how mild the past two months were I really shouldn't complain that much if February reverts to true form. Of course really shouldn't doesn't translate into will not cause it still will always be too cold here for my comfort.

Finally, got to say Rest in Peace to Chantel Dunn, a 19 year old York University student who was murdered here last week. Looks like the shooters were after her boyfriend and she got the deadly bullets instead. Its pretty sad to see a young black sister go out like that and its even sadder to see the apathy displayed by Toronto. Oh wait election times done and she was after all just a black girl and it didn't happen downtown so who really gives a damn. Anyway my home girl Urban Sista breaks it down quite well on the whole topic so I wont repeat it here just check out her site. Rest in peace Chantel you'll be remembered and you'll be missed!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Dilla's dead

Image hosting by PhotobucketJ Dilla died yesterday at the age of 32 from complications related to Lupus.

James Yancy aka Jay Dee aka J Dilla first came to my attention as a part of the Umma collective of producers who worked on a Tribe Called Quest's farewell album back in 1997.

Over the years he has been one of the many influential hip hop producers on the underground scene but never seemed to become one of the big names. Dude was strictly underground, raw, not commercial. He was never a top 10 radio producer like Dr Dre, Jazze Pha, Timbaland or Pharrell or those guys you see in the limelight but he was just one of the guys who the guys in the know checked for. He brought that head nodding vibe without the glamour and glitz. To paraphrase Tip he was in the cut call him incognito, Busy makin joints that will bump for the people.

Cant say that I checked for all his work (although some of my boys are big Slum Village fans I never really felt it that deeply) but just going through liner notes or seeing his name mentioned as producer on some obscure track on some obscure underground mc's album was somehow cool like oh this cats got Jay Dee producing maybe he's worth a listen.

He has produced for such notable artists as Janet Jackson, Busta Rhymes, A Tribe called Quest, Black Star, Pharcyde, De La, Common with whom he did some of his best work on the Like Water for Chocolate album and he released the Champion Sound lp along with fellow underground artist/producer Madlib a few years back.

He was a former member of Slum Village (those cats with the new General Motors ad that runs like a music video), in fact their most well known member until he left the group a few years back, and produced most of their earlier work including Fantastic Vol 1 and 2. Heads be always comparing that Slum Village work to the old Tribe stuff (much like they are doing with Little Brother today) but you got to give Dilla his props cause he had his own sound.

Image hosting by PhotobucketKind of funny just this week I was telling my wife that I was trying to find homeboy's album. Well not trying to find since I knew where to get it, its just I was trying to find it at a price that appealed to me which had led to a foray into numerous record stores in an effort to find the best deal (Still haven't bought it yet actually).

So I know that most, the average person when they think Hip hop thinks 50, Jay Z, Eminem or whatever else is popular on BET and the radio these days but cats like Dilla that was where the real hip hop resided and why cats like me could still say without it being a lie that Hip hop aint all that bad. Yea the fun stuff, the non-aggressive, non obscene, non-shake your tailfeather, non-hard out there for a pimp, non-20 video girls in tiny bikini stuff may not get the airplay or the public attention but it does exist and in greater abundance than one may think. J dilla represented that. Not the gangsta, thug machismo aesthetic, but as my man Obi would say just beats, rhymes and life.

Rest in Peace Dilla.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

TTC drama Part 3

Finally! Sorry for the wait folks.

In case you just tuned in and missed part 1 and part II.

Theophilus Adolphus Bourne: Crunk? Well I thought um was drunk cause listen let me tell you then I would gotta be DRUNK ta listen to dat CRUNK. Dat is bare noise den! Barely confuse a fella head. But anyway ya did want me to tell ya the story.

Rufus E Smith: Yes sir Please continue.


Theophilus Adolphus Bourne: So yea we gone down the road now and pass a few stations everything operating as usual. I deyso listening, enjoying the vibes, (gives Rufus a look daring him to say anything) just minding me own business like most people and I did still a lil tired so I start nodding off cause I find that the subway duz always send me ta sleep. Dat duz happen ta you too? Oh I faget wunnah so big up posh reporters doan tek the subway. chupse!

So my head deyso nodding. Boy I was tired fa true. It remind me a de day I fall sleep and wake up at Kipling (end of the subway line) instead a getting off at Yonge and Bloor. I did suh late fa work dat day that is a wonda de boss din fire me on the spot den.

I see.

Anyway, I dozing off and the lil "ping ping pong!" sound that the subway duz mek when the doors open and a whole heap a people rush on the train was waking muh up at every station. Nothing out a de ordinary happening though till all a sudden at Donlands this big able two tonne woman try an squeeze sheself between me an anudda fella.

OK

OK?? How you mean ok? Man dat did far from ok ya! Chupse! Looka Ah mean the woman was bout suh broad so den (opens arms to full length to show lady's girth)! BIG! Wuhloss, she did suh big TTC shudda mek she pay two fares den. BIG! I aint exaggerating den but the wuman was bout the size a ona dem delivery trucks from The Brick! I aint lie man! And she get in look an see it din nuh big lotta space between me an de odda fella, a average size body might barely fit but she squeezing she big boxie self in between two a we widout summuch as an excuse me please. chupse!

Dat sorta behavior duz get pun my nerves ya kno! I mean she had muh squeeze up in a lil corner ketching a hernia den!

but to be honest I juss glad she boxie sumhow manage ta fit cause I aint de biggest fella bout the place an if she did miss an sit down pun me wuhloss boy I probably wun be here to tell you this story.


Then what happened sir?

Hol on I gettin to that! So she got me squeeze up now worser dan anything I ever experience in ona dem Cave Hill Zr vans and I real real uncomfortable. We pass Pape and now get to Chester. I deyso trying to protect wha lil space I got before the woman kill muh ta death cause I almost start feeling like I ketchin a bad feels. I mean de wuman had muh squeeze up so tight I couldn't even get up ta get way from she den. I did just deyso barely praying that she was getting off before me cause if we did get to Yonge and Bloor an she din get off yet I doan think I wud be able ta move. I might juss gotta sit down deyso and wait fa she ta get off first before I cud get off.

ok.

Anyways all a sudden juss before the bad feel ketch muh an I loss 'way I think I hear the "ping pong ping" again an den I hear sumting like sumbody holla out 'you push me!' in a real real loud unmarley sounding voice. Well I was deyso struggling against this wuman that trying ta crush muh so I din pay that much attention until I hear anudda lil high up voice holla "No um is you dat push me"

Then what sir?

That is then I look up I see dat said girl dat juss leff hayso pun the stretcher stannin up near the door and she face all up in anudda wuman face.

Then what happened?

I getting to that. Then she say 'you push me' again and she bounce the odda wuman.

Bounce sir?

yes man bounce ya kno like chuck she den. (sees clueless look on reporters face) I gotta spell it out fa you or wah? She shove the odda wuman wid she body den. Cheese on bread! You like you went school punna Saturday or sumting so ya kno.

Ok.

And the odda wuman push back the said same way, um was tit fa tat!

Can you describe the assailant sir?

Yes she did big and fat and thick just like Captain Sawyer say he like dem, she had on a red flower dress look like she bring a whole garden in the train den and like I said before she boxie was real real big and she had muh squeeze in the ....

What! No no sir, I'm talking about the two ladies fighting.

So why ya ask me about assailant then cause the only assailant I see is the wun dat assault me wid she deadly behind. That thing almost do me permanent damage boy. You play you aint kno den! Looka you like you aint understand me when I tell you she almost kill me ta death, ya!

Can we stick to the two ladies who were fighting sir. I'm just trying to get the details.

Details? Well looka if you did wanta know wha "de assailant" look like suh bad ya wudda been on the train. And anudda thing besides. whapart you get this assailant ting from doah? You is a undercover policeman or wha? You trying ta mek the wuman inta sum sorta criminal now? Ya know what was really criminal?

No Sir.

That fat wuman dat almost squeeze muh ta within a inch of muh death. Now dat was criminal. Sumbody shudda get lock up den! Looka I did deyso ready ta call the priest ta issue last rites cause lemma tell ya boy if.....

Well sir one person's nose was broken. Assailant is just....

I know wha assailant mean but you aint even hear the full story an you labeling the woman one assailant. See dat! I did know from looking at you that you is ona dem fellas duz mek up news.

No sir, that's not it at all, my apologies. Please continue with your story.

Which story?

The one about the ladies fighting?

Oh dat wun. Alright then!

Please continue sir

Alright, well like I say the two a dem start bouncing up one anudda and then the odda wuman...

the assailant?

Chupse, looka I gine dun this story if you doan stop wid dat nonsense ya kno.

Sorry sir please continue

The odda wuman did look real vex and cruel that this wun that just leff on the stretcher bouncing she.

What happen next?

Well this same girl dat get she nose brek push she hand in de odda girl face.

Did you see all this occur sir?

Well from my lil vantage point squeeze up against the partition almost loss way from the squeezing that the wuman giving muh in de seat I din seeing tummuch but I think I hear the odda girl holla out "tek ya hand out my face, I warning ya."

Then what.

Well sum odda fella in the train say sumting like "um is a new year cant we just all get along". chupse but I aint know why he wait till then ta say all dat cause he cudda say dat from evasince when he see me getting squeeze kill by the fat wuman. Anyway the wuman holla out "I tell ya tek ya hand out muh face" again an next thing I know it was like baccanal in de Savannah. Sumbody swing a lash and let go two belly searchers and whax palax next thing I know the woman was holing she nose and running fa de emergency button.

Belly searchers? So there was some sort of weapon involved?

No man a belly searcher is a cuff in ya belly man. See you you like you aint ready atall ya kno

But if she got hit in the stomach how did her nose get broken?

Wait wha you asking me all dat fa, You feel I hit she?

No sir I never said.....

I aint hit she ya, looka doan try ta pin this pun me cause I know you lookin fa assailants an de first body wunnah duz look at is a black man. Looka I aint assail a fella, the only a sale I know bout is the wuns dat Sears and de Bay duz got pun weekends ya. 50% off this dat an de third.

Looka I was getting crush ta death in de corner why you doan investigate dat instead a tryin ta pin things pun me uh. I musse look like a scape goat ta you nuh but ya lie, miss Bourne fourth chile din born neitha poppit.


No sir you've got me mistaken. I'm not accusing you of any wrong doing.

Oh ya got dat right cause I aint do a fella a pang !

I'm just querying how it was that the victim's nose was broken if she got hit in the stomach.

Well I aint investigate all dat man but I hear dem say the elbow bone connected ta de kneecap bone an the finger bone connected ta de shoulder bone so maybe de nose bone connected ta de belly bone. I doan know an doan ask me eidda cause I aint a doctor.

So you are saying you didn't actually see the specifics of the altercation then? But when we started I asked if you had seen the event take place.

Well looka you ask if I witness it, an I witness it fa true ...from a distance an wid me face squint up in pain from the squeezing that the big wuman was puttin on muh but ya neva ask me bout no specifics an in what detail I see um.

So you didnt see the actual events?

Well I see sum a it but I hear more dan I see cause that woman had me near pass out from the squeezing till muh eyeballs was watering so I couldnt see summuch but I hear.....

Rufus E Smith:(very upset now) But I asked...... (sees Theoplilus getting upset and sighs) Well that was a waste of mine and the viewers time.

Theophilus Adolphus Bourne: Waste a time? looka you got me a fella dat doan talk nuff stannin up hayso talkin ta you a good half hour, telling you all this big lotta long story an now you tellin me is a waste a time? Chupse, looka I know from evasince I shudda gi you a good ............

Wait dat is the time fa true. Oh shoot I late! You lucky boy cause if I din late you woulda see who God ya serving taday.(Theophilius stalks off angrily muttering under his breath turning to give Rufus some angry looks)

Rufus E Smith: Well folk sorry to have wasted your time this morning back to the studio, Bob?

Cameraman: Bob! Waste time? Ya mekkin sport boy I cut he off wid all dat lotta foolishness bout 20 minutes ago. I was just pointing the camera so he wun start cussing we.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Raptors trade

Raptors traded Jalen Rose for Antonio Davis. I get the feeling its my fault because last week I defended Davis for going into the stands to protect his wife or is that to protect the other fan from his wife. Note his wife got arrested this week for throwing coffee at a motorist. (lawd ave mercy I hope she doan kno where I live)

Goodbye to Jalen. I'll miss ya. All in all Jalen is still one of the players in the league I will continue to regard pretty highly. Loved his game from the Fab Five days and his NBA offense is pretty nice, no need to spoil it by speaking of his D. I also like the way that he publicly handled being on the trading block for so long. Yes last year he pouted when they put him on the bench but this year he's been all class with regards to his playing time.

The Raptors made this trade for purely financial reasons because Jalen actually had value as a player to them at the moment. Jalen however was ridiculously overpaid for his value and had two years and about 30 million on his contract left while Antonio Davis has one year and about 16 mil so the Raptors free up some cap space when Davis comes off the books this summer. Hopefully it will help in the long run. At the least we give Joey Graham some run now and see if he can turn into a solid NBA player.

The Knicks made the trade because the Knicks are clueless and have deep pockets. Larry Brown didn't know what he was getting into and cant coexist with his players but hey at least he's got 10 Mil a year to keep him happy. Another non-playoff year for the Knicks.

Of course I'm hearing whispers that Davis, who so distrusted our metric system, may not return to the Raptors but may ask for a buyout. If that happens I would be very upset. That is absolute B.S!. Too many players over the years have refused to play for the Raptors, must be something about crossing the border to play where the money isn't green and the accents are different. If its any consolation our murder rate is going up, anything to make you spoilt, overpaid brats feel at home right.

I say the Raptors should insist that Davis shows up, he doesn't have to play, park him on the inactive list and make him sit on the bench in his suit for the rest of the season but don't buy him out so he can get part of his money and then go and sign on with another team.

We did that crap with Alonzo Mourning and look at him now playing for the Heat. Ridiculous.

Plus I mean how wrong is that buyout stuff. Hey I have a job that sometimes I don't feel like going to. I don't have the right to call the boss and say I'm not showing up can we arrange to give me a buyout. Nope they just fire me without compensation if I do that. I think the same should hold for the NBA.

(p.s for those waiting for part III my apologies, I just didnt have the time to finish it up. Will aim for next week, have a good weekend)