Thursday, February 16, 2006

Ads gone wrong

Well imagine my surprise when I came home tonight and was told that the Alexander Keiths' guy had been arrested for child porn. I mean those beer ads were actually some of the funnier ones on TV. What's next? Nobody better say anything bad about the Canadian Tire dude who one of my friends says reminds him of Flanders from the Simpsons. lol.

Ok so yea unless you live in Canada you probably wouldn't get the jist of the comments made above so I'll quickly explain. The Alexander Keiths guy is this guy in an ad for the beer of that name who has a thick Scottish accent who sees himself as a defender and protector of the beer which he is promoting. The Canadian Tire guy is this guy who is always promoting some tool, or handy household gadget available at the Canadian Tire hardware stores. He's like a goody too shoes type, all happy smiley, friendly with the neighbors and all, sort of like Mr Rogers meets Tim the Tool man Taylor (if Tim actually knew tools that is).

Still that wasn't what this blog was to be about. I wanted to talk about how some ads work and some just don't. Well actually I just wanted to talk mostly about ads that don't work. An example are a couple for the same product which have been airing in Toronto lately.

Picture this. A yout out on a tandem bicycle with his chossel (girlfriend), they are all happy and smiling and its a lovely bright beautiful day. All is well la la la la la. All of a sudden they ride under a bridge/underpass or some sort of tunnel. As they emerge once more into the sunlight, the girlfriend is gone and in her place is this dude Image hosting by Photobucket(see accompanying photo), complete with royal robe and crown. The yout looks back, sees him and looks a bit alarmed, the robed man offers him a burger, he accepts and continues pedalling and smiling along the way. Clearly he and that girl were not as close as we thought because the woman disappear and he doesn't really seem to care.

Again picture this. You are in the laundry mat washing some clothing. As you close the door to a dryer you see the said dude standing there with his robe and crown. He offers you a burger, you accept , the ad closes with you eating the burger and homeboy spinning around some of your underwear on his fingers.

Ok , hold up! Is it me or are both these ads highly questionable? First off the choice of spokesperson/symbol of the guy with a mask and crown is disturbing. Maybe I've watched one too many bank robbery movie but that mask makes me think homeboy is some sort of stick up kid looking to snatch your hard earned dollars.

Ok I mean yea imagine I man Jdid on a bicycle with a chossel, she disappear and in her place is a dude in a dress wearing a disturbing looking mask offering me a burger. Now ya dun know that couldn't work with me. First off bicycle stop pedalling, I hollaring out fa blue murder and I running or I at least asking where the woman gone. Then if I don't get a satisfactory answer again I'm either running, shouting for the police or the fella with the crown getting two big rocks in he head cause I would feel that he kidnap or attack the woman that was with me on the bike. Dares not he offer me a burger either cause first the woman disappear and now he coming to drug me. Not me and that! I cant even give the police a proper description of him since he is wearing a mask. No bosie, not me, my mudda say ya shouldn't eat from strangers and I wasn't going to be eating no burger from him regardless of how hungry I was at that point. No star that no mek it.

Second ad, again same thing. Who are these lickerish people that if an unknown man, out of the blue, offer them a burger they accepting and yamming it hard. Where ya duz find these sort a people? These are the sort of people that duz get things do to them an then complain that somebody put something in them food, drug them and had their way with them.

I mean first off look at the way the man dress. He look like he could be in his right mind? I could understand if it was a fella looking a certain way, sorta trustworthy or something and you take the burger from him (mind you I aint telling wunnah tek no food from nobody ya aint know cause them trustworthy ones might drug ya the same way quick enough too) but when you look at this man face and see that mask the first thing you should be wondering is who he is that hiding from me. Then you look and see the robe and crown and you should be thinking this fella head like it bad, I wonder which madhouse he get away from.

No way you taking even a sweetie (piece of candy) from he.

Then now he twirling around the fella underwear. What! These people like dem mad of something. From the time that man touch my bividees lashes sharing. If I cant get close enough to hit he some sorta soap powder or clorox throwing in he direction but he is not to touch my underwear.

cause see me, anytime a man come up to me in a mask and a dress, ok fine a bath robe or a royal robe in public something wrong. He up to some sort of deviant behavior and I aint want no part of he or that. No way I accepting any burger, hot dog, ham cutter, pork chop, or even pieca shirley biscuit from he. I aint want nothing to do with he and he better not try to trouble me. lol

Anyway I just want to know who are the geniuses that came up with this ad and if a fella in a mask wearing robes , that kidnap my girlfriend and then playing with my underwear supposed to be encouraging me to eat food from this place.


Ravenbajan said...


You crack me up Jdid. That was funny as hell.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Jdid, you are HILARIOUS. I don't know how you do it, you write the humour with such ease, man.

Hahaaaa, look at Ravenbajan's pic!

I used to write ads in Jamaica, and I thought verrrry carefully about what I wrote.

4panist said...

thanks for the laughs this morning. I have visions of you throwing bleach on people and throwing "bear licks" on the man. too bad for the keith's guy, I like those adds.

Campfyah said...

Lordeee good to start the morning reading yuh blog..Yuh mad as mad eva.
I gonna lend yuh some de ad down hey, dem all centered around a half naked girl selling from soap powder tuh de same burger. The ads here are very sexual.

Miz JJ said...

Lol! Sometimes you gotta accept the free food.

Brotha Buck said...

You know, that burgerking mascot is just plain scary. Not appetizing in the least.

Urban Sista said...

You're too much... LOL!

Scratchie said...

JDid I can see exactly where you are on the ads......I stop trying to figure them out cuz them just fool. I like the Capital One ads though...somebody has a good sense of humour.

Sunshine said...

Hi Jdid-Cyaan stand the majority of those ads. But your blogg made me laugh at those same said ads. Have a great day.

Dr. D. said...

Yeah....I too got some laughs outta dis.

JDdiddy...'chossel' a Bajan term dat?

Stunner said...

Dyam nastiness!!! I saw the Burger King, "king" ads myself and they are higly questionable, I think there is some gay guy making up these ads! Those "king" ads are wrong...just wrong!

Lene said...


those are some hot jokes. you always see white people eating anything they can lay their hands on. why are you going to eat some burger from a strange man wearing a big headed mask? MADNESS!

solitaire said...

Bwoy mi have intanet inna mi place now!! Ha ha! Mi need fe ketch up wid yuh.

Mi was real surprised at the same ting. Mi did find di Alexander Keef ad dem HILARIOUS. Not nuh more!

jelli said...

I hate this guy too. I look to be very creepy. Have you seen the ad with him in the dudes bed. It just aint right.