If they aren't already obsolete already. Oh wait a minute what am I talking about? Actually I guess I should really title this blog have men adjusted to their role in relationships and what exactly is that role but the obsolete title is more catchy and a purely jdid way to look at it?
Well this is part two in my relationship series. Its the Luv Dr J bringing you all the finest in relationship material. ha ha ha. Whatever! This one is just to get everyone especially the guys to think. I'm thinking of making this relationship thing a part 4 series though because I realized there was one other thing I wanted to talk about and then I found a half finished blog from earlier this month on that exact topic. Maybe I'll post that next week but you can the first part of the relationship stuff here.
So where to start this segment? Well I wasn't sure how to tackle this but then I figured just come up with something so here goes.
I had a dream. Nope not one like Martin Luther King or those types of guys. Let me weave a story of the future, an alternate history type story if you will. Picture this: Have you seen the movie Matrix? Well imagine the world of the matrix except that instead of computers ruling the earth women rule (way way scarier aint it?). The men have been relegated to a matrix like existence, somehow kept apart from reality while their bodies are stored somewhere hooked up to machines (like in the matrix) just to be used for their biological materials for reproduction purposes. Ok if this actually happens I hope nobody like Morpheus wake me up cause I don't want to live in no Zion like underground city if is wid bare men. Oh helll no!
Anyway so why did this occur? Well somewhere along the line men failed to adapt and women realized that they were obsolete. How did that happen? Well somewhere in the late 20th century women realized that the only thing they really needed men around for was reproductive purposes and it was starting to be not worth the effort dealing with them in the real world for that purpose alone so they started planning (and ya know women duz plan good and can keep secrets from men even better) and a few decades later, 2050 to be exact, with men still totally oblivious to the planning and the secret underground female societies, they put their plan in motion. The men were caught napping (some literally) and were ambushed, herded into special areas and removed from the real world equation.
Whoa! Hold on son, how did things get to this point? Why would the women want to do that? Ok, to explain I got to give some history so lets go back. Way back, Back into time. Flash back lets say to anywhere before 30 to 50 years from our present. To a time when women actually needed men. Men wore pants, women wore skirts. Men lifted things, women cooked. Ah a kinder gentler time that some may refer to as the good old days. Men were providers, hunter gatherer types, strong personalities, fixing stuff, bringing home the bacon and sometimes the whole pig too. Women were defined by their men. Men dominated (we spoke about another form of domination in part one). Women lived to serve men or at least had little choice but to serve them since they were dependent on men in large part for their welfare and survival. Men did the heavy lifting, men governed, men controlled the households, men had the jobs, basically men ran things things no run men! You get my drift?
Women were 'barefoot and pregnant', very few job options available to them and very few career opportunities. A "good" woman knew her place. Her main goal, which was impressed on her from the time she was a child, was to attract a good man and get married. After that she stayed home and reared the kids (should I push this point anymore or will I soon be receiving death treats from feminists?). She was faithful, loyal and she knew her place. (Feel free to send the hate mail now yall)
Ok Basically I said all that to paint the picture that it was truly a man's world, women were subservient to men and hence as the dominant sex men took much about women for granted. Women were basically trophies, child bearers and rearers, cooks, property and how could I forget sex symbols.
Ok lets fast forward to the present. (don't ever say I don't take you guys anywhere cause so far ya been to the future, de past and back to the present. lawd dat is nuff airmiles ya kno!) Well somewhere between that past and this present women made gains. Some say it started when all the men went fighting the last two world wars. The lack of men to do jobs in the home countries opened up the way for the women to enter the workforce. Add to that, better schooling for women, the opportunity to pursue careers, the invention of the pill and other reliable forms of contraceptives, the rights to vote, and reform regarding discrimination and the granting of most (I said most not all cause I'm not 100% sure if all is true) rights to women etc and whoa rather quickly that male dominion was eroded as women gained independence and power. Hurray!
Women in the workplace, women as businesswomen, entrepreneurs, politicians, leaders. Whoa slow down son!
And as these changes occurred the relationships between men and women changed. No longer are women at home rearing kids, cooking dinner and waiting for men to bring home the bacon. More women were less dependent on men, they could now survive without a man. Gasp! Say it aint so!
So the role of having to be the sole breadwinner disappeared from the man's portfolio. Women had more choice now. No longer were they reared just to be mothers and wives they could be pretty much anything they damn well pleased. Ah sweet Freedom!
Ok so where do the men fit in? Women's roles have changed in society. (whether for better or worse is a another blog which I wont be writing anytime soon so feel free to run with that topic) Their roles have been enhanced, they now do more right? What about men?
Well men seem to be slow to adjust with that major breadwinner thing gone. What else do these men bring to the table? Men now needed to do stuff like cater to women's emotional needs more than they previously had. Wait a minute did I say emotional needs? What tha????? Most men are clueless to those words emotional needs? (just for the record I personally am not clueless but sometimes it suits me to ignore them. Yes I live dangerously. ha ha ha) So men have struggled to actually fill that role with what most women would probably agree was a poor success rate? That is the men who actually try. Some still haven't grasped that or see no need to.
And why did women need men around besides for emotional needs. Ok well there was a companionship issue, there was the to safety issue (ironically its usually safety from other men), the sex thing and sometimes just because they are so cute and make good accessories and make other women jealous. Hey dudes do that too.
Anyway men still struggled with his new role. Ummm ammm, what exactly was his motivation beyond some need to procreate and possibly physical pleasure and companionship. Ummm and how exactly was he to deal with these now equal women? ummmm
The women were getting a bit peeved with the non-ability of the men to adjust. The men were still trying to impose some of the old rules but now the women to paraphrase Mc Lyte were 'just not having it'. The men were supposed to take on new roles, view the women as equals, assist in running the household, help with the kids , do that emotional needs thing, and at least play the role of father to their offspring. Did I mention some of us have sort of abdicated that role as well?
Oh oh! So for years the women 'tolerated' the men. It was sort of like well they are becoming obsolete but what choice do we have. Like when your old car or computer is giving trouble but you don't have the money for a new one. You tolerate the situation. Yea Women need men around for a few things they said but to be honest the started thinking that men were more trouble than they're worth. Wait a minute! Suddenly it struck them! They did a cost benefit analysis. What is it the men are bringing to the table these days anyways? Ok they aren't really succeeding with that emotional stuff, hmmm. They are either clueless, don't care or try but fail miserably. Imbeciles! Women said hey I can pay my own damn bills. hmmm. They said men aren't really stepping up to the plate with the child rearing. hmmm. They were only romantic around valentines. hmmmm. Sex? Hmmm we have toys in abundance out there to take the man's place. Remind us again why do we still put up with them they said?
They concluded that men have not adapted. Men have outlived their purpose. Men haven't stepped up their game to cater to their needs they figured. We need to restructure they said. We need to streamline this human race, trim down, cut some fat, look at the bottom line. Heads need to roll!
And the men continued to exist, la la la, complaining about how demanding and 'confuse' today's women are, and reminiscing on the good old days, but not really thinking about why times were changing and what was changing and or pondering whether there was some adjustment to be made on their part. Especially since any adjustments would make them look 'soft', not as macho as before and they would possibly lose face. They knew women had changed but the popular thoughts without any sort of serious analysis were that women had changed for the worse especially when compared to their mother's generation and it was women's fault that things were different so it was the women's duty to solve things.
Men were still completely oblivious to the fact that the women had come to the conclusion that they (the men) had started to outlived most of their usefulness and while they still needed to be kept around to keep the race going there really wasn't anything special men were bringing to the table. What was the male's role in the relationship? Why hadn't he adjusted over the years as the times had changed? And hence in 2050 women saw an opportunity to make a move so they declared the male to be obsolete and removed him from reality.