Thursday, January 20, 2005

Darth Vader in me chest

Fa real! Kami like she pass on her cold to me. Cuhdear! I wake up and my operatic voice gone James Earl Jones on me, I cant even do me lil skettel concerto rendition. Throat hurts like crazy so I'm just sipping some ginger tea and hoping for the best.

Knew this was coming though. It always starts with the sore throat and proceeds from there. Oh well what was I to do? The combination of the cold weather and sick workmates and the fact that my body doesn't like this place always gets me. Actually I think its more the sick workmates. Been dodging different flu viruses at work for the past two weeks but at least one seems to have caught up. Oh well such is life.

Last night they get rid of my girl Betti, you know the sista with the hair issues from last week's blog on the Sports Illustrated model search show just as I predicted before the show started. I knew she was gone from the time the model shoot included cold weather. They had her posing with huskies as snow fell. She actually did a better job than I expected but you could tell that she was cold. Anyway girl don't feel no way you tried but you knew you weren't going to win.

Thought that the girl whose photo shoot was called its raining men but who then proceeded to dismiss the men from her shoot like she a run things was going to be eliminated but they kept her.

The judges were funny though. They aren't the most diplomatic but they aren't the most brash either like when they are talking about sagging butts or the girl with the big lips and last night they told one girl something about her smile. I was actually just thinking imagine if the judges were just some igrant west indians, cause ya kno sum a we aint got nuh tact atall. Conversations with the contestants would have gone like this.

To girl with big lips: "Looka girl you duz look real bad wid ya lips push up so ya kno! lemma tell ya straight if you doan stop dat foolishness one day them gine stick dat way. I aint mekkin sport ya kno!"

To flabby girl: " See wha me a say rude gal, me no say dat ya favor mampie but still ya body naa gine mek it in a de people dem magazine. yes ya face fe look nice but .... is why ya start cry for when me tell ya ya face look nice? cho! ya doan kno when big man fe gi ya compliment?

but listen rude gal, listen ya naa see tyra and dem big moggle gal dem in a de sports illustrated? ya feel say ya favor dem gal deya? cause me a tell ya de trut gal ya naa favor dem supermoggle dem, ya naa come close. ya no see how maga dem gal fe look like dem never look pun de stew beef or curry goat yet? is bare ital dem dat dem gal fe yam. And you think say dat ya body fe look like dem? yo rude gal, is like ya neva see pictures a ya body yet? hear wha me a say, ya need fe leave all dat fast food business, 'amburger business an pizza business alone."

To the girl with the smile issue: "But waittttt why you skinnin you teets so? chupse!!!!!!! I aint know if anybody tell you this yet but lemma tell ya cause I telling ya this fa ya own good. doan feel I trying ta insult ya ya kno but listen ta me good; all dat skin teet thing doan look nice ya kno! not nice atall atall atall. firss of all ya got two lil wuns at de side deyso dat look real sharp like ya is a vampire. then as juss a overall thing dem teet got you mout look like a Black Rock minibus punna weekday marnin. RAM off den!! pack down wid teets! ya got summuch teets in dey dat I wanta kno whapart you duz keep ya gums.

listen ta muh nuh. No I aint insulting ya but try an look in de yellow pages under dentist or ortha ammm wha dem name again? Yea, orthodontist or ona dem sorta fellas an get sumting do cause from whapart I standing, boy you, dem teets got me worried. Evatime I look at ya mout it duz frighten me, an dat is de honest to god truth! I duz feel like red riding hood looking at de wolf den."

I'm medicated today so I'm denying all responsible for anything I just wrote. Have a good day folks.

8 comments:

Melody said...

Jdid, yu hangle de moggle dem rough! (lol) Mi did know it was just a matter ov time before Betti get sent home. Mi noh watch de show, but from yu explain how dem tek wheh de hairstyle from har, ah was like, "Yes, now, Betti, say yu prayas."

Scratchie said...

:-) :-) :-) JDid, yuh cold yuh nuh boss!! In more ways than one. Blame it pon di medication.

Anonymous said...

Bwoy, I man wouldn't like JDid gimme him opinion of mi blog....worse when him deh pon drugs! ;-) Hope you start feel better soon rude yute! Dr. D.

Abeni said...

James Earl Jones sound good so if you sound like he you in good company:)Leave the poor models alone wid yuh wikked self

Urban Sista said...

Boy, yuh killin' me!

I didn't watch but I heard Alicia did get on realll bad, but of course dey caan get de rid of she. Dem got ta kick de Black girl off. Honestly, I ain so surprise 'bout da dere. It was only a matter a time before dey did show she de door.

Jdid said...

Melody yep betti was as good as gone from the start
Scratchie fa real is de medication, I wud neva say anything so :-)
Dr D cuhdear I wasnt that harsh was I, lol
Abeni yep unfortunately I can only replicate the james earl jones when i'm sick
Urban Sista yep Alicia act a fool but Roshumba stood up for her, from what I can see with the judges the strong personalities are roshumba and the guy and the other lady seems to be the swing vote

kashata said...

Damn i missed that yesterday!i wonder if those judges have ever looked in the mirror themselves cos: 1st the woman is OLDlikely blind and was obviously NEVER a beauty,the guy is a 2 footer with a belly and Roshumba is just ok,none of them r anything to write home about,sitting there criticising the poor girls ass.

Anonymous said...

LOL! LOL! LOL!
Jdid, you wikid fe true!

Mad Bull