Wednesday, January 26, 2005

What's the scenario?

Relationship series will continue tomorrow :-)

Monday I did this seminar. It was one of those management skills type things where they get you to change your thinking in certain situations or show you how to deal with people or listen or handle meetings and that sort of thing. I've taken a few before and find them interesting sometimes but while helpful in certain situations I always feel like the overall plot is somewhat to brainwash me into becoming a more subservient employee. I feel the same way about some professional organizations rules too.

I signed up for a whole bunch this winter and the one I had on Monday dealt with conflict and it actually came in handy at work yesterday. My wife used to say that I like conflict, not that we argue much but actually from this course I realized its probably because we deal with conflict in slightly umm make that vastly different ways. Hey conflict is all around us, its a part of life so you got to deal with it and most likely you deal with it differently in different situations.

Oh that's the other thing about the courses I find interesting. The types of skills you learn can be applied to personal life. I usually go to the courses learn some skill then come home and try it out first on the wife. shhhh she nuh know yet. Yes I'm evil but hey she's trying to kill me so I am allowed some defense. ha ha ha

Anyway enough about that. In this seminar we did a series of questions where they gave us a possible scenario and multiple choice options for how we would respond. We were then asked to rank the options on a scale of most likely response to least likely. This one caught my attention so I felt to share.

Your child borrows your car Friday night and brings it back way past curfew. He is supposed to borrow it again Saturday to go to the basketball game . What do you do?

Option (a) Not lend him the car for Saturday
(b) Tell him you were worried but you are glad he's home safe and he can indeed borrow it on Saturday.
(c) Tell him since he was late he has to put gas in the car and wash it Saturday morning and then he can have it Saturday night
(d) Chalk it up to kids being kids and let him have it on Saturday
(e) Ask for an explanation, if its a good one allow him to have the car on Saturday if not he cant have it but we'll explore other options for getting to the game Saturday.

Ok now first thing I notice was clearly this question was not written bearing in mind the average west indian parent because no where was there an option (f) which would have been 'Tek way the car keys, give him a good cut tail or as my trini friends might say planass (I learn dat word yesterda) and tell him something like 'oh I understand, ya start wearing long pants an so you feel you big now? Alright well if you suh big guh an find ya own car den cause ya aint gettin this wun agin. In fact I got news fa you ya aint gine nuhwhere tamorra night and plus ya gine eitha gotta find busfare or be slappin tar (walking) come Monday too'

You guys follow me? I mean F is a justifiable option in a West Indian household. I mean seriously I felt squeezed with the options they gave me. The only two viable options I had were a and e and I figured if I go wid e I'm just setting up muhself fa lies and the possibility that the chile gine feel them smart an cud get away with it again so thinking that well especially if it was real late and I real vex yea definitely I'm going with a.

Anyway I chose a and the people in my group look at muh like I is a madman or sum sorta bad abusive parent sort that will lead my children to have to seek therapy in the future. All them wid de lil niceness thing going on choosing things like chalk it u ta kids being kids and tell him you were worried and thing so. Yes I was worried and that is why ya gettin a good planass cause you putting more grey hairs in my head for no apparent reason. :-)

Anyway I chalked it up to both personal and cultural differences but it was good fun and anyways it actually helped my overall ranking on the scenarios. ha ha ha


Melody said...

Jdid, 'a' sounds safe an' firm, and 'e' sounds risky, but I'd still have ta choose 'e' ('f' too far out fe me :). Yeah, 'e' requires a lotta trust in de child, an' when yu trust, yu risk bein' lied to, but it's easier when yu admire de kid as an honest person--kids need that, an' ah woulda believe de child unless ah have reason to believe otherwise.

Abeni said...

Your children will run away from you:) Let's see if was my relatives it would be A without blinking.And then there would be the lecture about being responsible blah blah blah.

Sunshine said...

Hi Jdid-definately cultural difference need to be taken into acccount especially when it comes to disciplining West Indian kids. Dem nu know how we can be resourceful and genal when dem ready. I know, I used to be one of them that brought the car back-well lets say just before sunrise.

Anonymous said...

Well I would ask for an explanation and whether depending on the answer and whether or not I believe the boys then I would decide whether or not they would get the car but it also depends on how worked up I am at the time they get home cause if I really work up dem aint gine see daylight fuh a couple of weeks!

Campfyah said...

I wid Jdid on dis one option F is muh choice. But since it din dey, I would settle for e based on some factors. How old de child is, how normally responsible he/she usually is wha kinda car I does drive ect.

One vacation back on the rock. we loan our past teenager son our rented car to go tuh a fete at de stadium. Get a call at 2:00 in de morming. De car tire blow out and can we come and get he from up by de Sam Lords Castle (de Bajans know why ah talking) well we ask he if he want we tuh fly. do wha he can and call we in de morning. Well next morning we find he borrow ah friend car and come get we and gone by de car. when we get dey, two front tires blow out, part ah de fender missing and de car in a cane field. Well need I say more bout lending he de car again and none ah de options above din fuh we but option F. plus mek he pay fuh de repairs.

Burke said...

I don't have any kids, but I would choose E depending on the circumstances. I used F minus the cut tail on my teenaged nephew a few years back when he took my car without my permission. I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and on my way back to bed I looked out the window, like I do most of the time, and no car. The first thought in most people's mind would be that somebody stole the car, but my first thought was that it had to be my nephew.

I checked his room and of course he wasn't there, so I called his cell phone and got his voicemail. I told him to call me and bring my so and so car back home if not I was gonna call the cops. Not only did he take the car, but the boy had the audacity to make a duplicate set of keys. I took the keys from him and at that point felt like giving him the cut tail, but he was bigger than me, so I skipped that part.

We joke about it now, but he had me seeing red that night.

Jdid said...

Melody, Abeni man wunah aint nuh fun, lol. Actually I'd probaby choose something between a, e and f. Ask for a resaon why they are late of course but then ask why they didnt call. they still wouldnt get the car on saturday but i aint really big on the corporal punishment thing so they might get away widout the butt whooping

Sunshine ya will have to let us kno how ya get away wid bringin home the car late

Anonymous dat is you? :-)I agree wid you

camp, burke wow those are interesting scenarios. I think i both cases i would be extremely upset. you guys seemed to have handled them well though. did the offending parties ever repeat?