Thursday, October 20, 2005

Slap!

Oh man I can never leave my job on time. For some reason even though every day I say to myself 'boy you need to leave early after the day you just put in' I still find myself there at 530 or 6pm. Seems like just when I think I'm about to leave there is always some important email or memo to send or document to process.

I'm out! 515pm, that's not bad. For once I should make it home before 7, hell I should definitely even make it before 630, if I'm lucky.

Oh wait I have errands to run as usual. Oh well.

I took a nice stroll up to the subway station. Its drizzling. Just Great. Of all the days to be without a waterproof jacket or at least an umbrella. And my throat was already feeling scratchy this morning after running outside to put out the green bin for the garbage guy in that 2 degree weather. Got to find out if raccoons hibernate so that I can put my garbage out overnight. I sure hope they do. Who was the geni-ass that designed that green bin for the City anyways? Seems like raccoons can pick that flimsy latch open in their sleep.

Anyway, what can ya do.

Almost at the subway and as expected the rain starts to hold up. It figures.

Oh what do we have here today at the subway entrance? Some F.O.I brothers trying to sell that list of books they are always try to sell. As-salam-A-lakim. Salakum A salaam. I always wonder about that list of 'black' books that they have. I think those guys should stick to selling the Final Call or slang bean pies or whatever else they do. I mean don't get me wrong, I got love for them but come on you're not selling the actual books you're selling a booklist. Do you guys realize that this is 2005 and if I wanted to get a list of books I've got google and the internet at my disposal. And I'm not the only one with internet access, its pretty widespread. I mean I can see why you were doing this back in 1994 but yo, wake up brothers, its a new day, you need a new hustle. I'm not paying 3 or 4 dollars for a list that tells me what to read, that 3 or 4 dollars can go towards the actual books.

Step through the turnstyles and go downstairs. Oh man its too early, the subway is going to be crazy packed. Should have bummed around downtown for a while. What luck! There's a train waiting. Seems like its been there a while, must be some delay in the system. Its crazy packed and some folk are on the platform waiting for the next one but since I have no idea how long the next one will be I jump on.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comStanding room only. Good thing I brought that discman with the Danger Doom lp. Doom's such a nerd, who else would have a rap line about flux capacitors and Kes and Neelix from StarTrek Voyager. ha ha ha. I've been a fan since he did Viktor Vaughn.

Train starts moving, hmmm I wonder what the crush capacity of this thing is. Will have to look it up. Whatever it is we're pretty close to it. Its hot up in this piece too! That's the reason people get sick. Outside is near freezing and inside is like a sauna.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comWait a minute yo no way! Homeboy over to the side just pulled out a walkman. No not a discman, I mean a real walkman, a portable cassette player. Now that's throwback. What a novelty compared to all the iPods, mp3 players, blackberries, portable dvd players and cd players that I've become accustomed to seeing on the ride home. Whoa that brings back memories of the original mix tapes and the pause tapes I used to make back in the days. Wicked!

Ok we've got a little room to move as some folk empty out at one of the hubs. Looks like I'm standing all the way to Kennedy though. When I leave late I don't have that problem.

What to do what to do. I wish I was sitting so I could read my magazine. Look at that dude sleeping, I wish I was him right now although he looks a little too out of it for my liking. Dune Dune Dune! Well that's what the subway bell sounds like in my opinion. Some sitting folk actually get up this time and leave. Ok some available seats. I'll let the ladies hold those seats first. What's with this dude in the business suit? He just stole that seat from an old lady. Has he no shame. Van Damn some folk just don't have any blasted training. Chupse!

Interesting the types you see on the subway aint it. You've got your readers, your music listeners, your sleepers, your don't touch me I'm a germaphobe-ers, your my bag deserves a seat more than you do-ers, your I just need to unwind-ers, your I'm pretending I'm not here-ers, your I'm too posh to be sitting next to you common folk-ers oh and me your average people watcher. Maybe I'll let out a random sneeze just to confirm who the germophobes are lol.

Ah things to ponder while one is standing holding a subway pole.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comFeeling tired. More tired than usual actually, maybe I am getting sick. Oh just peachy! The subway car half empties at Main and Vic Park. Vic Park ah sunshine again or in this case semi darkness since the sun is setting earlier and earlier but at least after Vic Park you see the open air again. You're out of the tunnel. Hmm its Autumn all right, the trees are starting to turn different shades. I'd get excited about that like my wife does except to me it just signals the inevitable that the cold is just around the corner.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comSo anyway, we pull into Kennedy. I'm standing with my hand high on the pole and bracing for the train to pull in because sometimes the train is kind of jerky in its approach to the platform.

The train comes in rather smoothly as my hand is outstretched behind me holding on and my body is facing the door just waiting for those doors to open so I can escape this underground serpents belly.

The train stops, my hand instinctively releases the pole and gravity drags it downward. A seemingly innocent activity when all of a sudden WHAX! My hand connects with the face of this dude who was sitting in the seat below my hand. He proceeds to give me a screw face. The man vex.

Hey its not my fault I slapped you or as I like to see it you used my hand to procure a slap for yourself. You ran into or rather stood up right in the path of my hand you moron. My hand is on the pole, you see it coming down, wouldn't it have made sense to wait till I moved my hand to get up instead of jumping up immediately right into my hand's path. Dumb ass don't give me that look. Anyway I still swiftly mutter an I'm sorry and head up the escalator. Still got those errands to run. Just another day on Public Transit.

And no flippant comments about the squash game. That was an accident just like this was an accident.

18 comments:

Radmila said...

Oh, if I could only do the "accidental slap" at work.
A girl can dream, yeah?

Stunner said...

I have the same problem with work. I wonder if it's because I hate my job and hence have no motivation?

A walkman yow! LOL I didn't think thoses thingd still exists!

Yuh lucky di man nuh pik fight, LOL. I think him did shame to.

Mr. Righteous said...

That guy lucky he made the right choice... to understand why, you have to be looking up at Jdid face with his hat pulled down over his eyes while he is thinking "look at this dumb ass.." Thought I left work eary, got wet in the rain , throat itching, feeling tired, didn't get no seat, now you have to put your ugly face in the path of my hand. It was probably one of Clint Eastwood's go ahead make my day looks ..

Dr. D. said...

Your subway descriptions remind me of my days on the Tube in London...lots of weird people rude yute.

2 degrees you seh....mi ra$$...keep dat up deh.

TGIF.

dorna! said...

Oh, I miss the subway. Such entertainment. But, all these 'accidental' assaults Jdid. I'm thinking you might have a little problem. *tsk tsk* :D

Campfyah said...

You bough back many memories of my subway days. One of these days, I'll propaby copy you and do a Caracas metro moment.

I think yuh slap de guy cause he did sitting and you did standing all de way tuh Kenedy...yuh wrong LOL

PS. My word for your comment FKYNH now what does dat sound like?

courtneyelizabeth said...

lol...you know you did it on purpose...lol j/k

Inside Man said...

yo, that's a dummy smack in it's purest form. Well done.....

Miz JJ said...

"your my bag deserves a seat more than you do-ers" piss me off to no end on public transit. I always stare those people down and make them move their shit. Accidental slap eh? Uh huh....

Nikki said...

LOL, wish I coulda seen your palm connecting with his face. Funny stuff.

Sunshine said...

LOL Jdid-"crush capacity". I used to love riding the subway in Montreal. Wasn't too crowded back in 1975. Have a great weekend.

Sunshine said...

LOL Jdid-"crush capacity". I used to love riding the subway in Montreal. Wasn't too crowded back in 1975. Have a great weekend.

Mad Bull said...

So racoons go after your garbage too, huh? Down here its feral cats. Better the garbage than iguanas though... They say the blue iguana is facing extinction and some of its main threats are feral cats and dogs and, of course, mankind.
Anyway, I prefer they eat my garbage than the iguanas.
Now, about this slap... I'm getting worried for you. You seem to be getting violent and out of control. Please seek help ;-)

BajanQueen said...

LOL! If only my hand could have accidently slapped my boss on Wednesday....it would have made getting fired a whole lot more exciting!

Only you these things does happen to!!!

~Smooches~

SP said...

That slap may have been an accident, but it felt kinda good didn't it?

Hey, there's nothing wrong with Homeboy's walkman! I only have a tape player in my car! I know, sad for an engineer, huh?

notyouraverage.... said...

hey - i'm working out in the west end now - vic park and sheppared and ventured down to vic park station. a little extra strange, for my liking.

and like mizjj - i just say excuse me and start sitting down - and they best move their bag ;-)

obifromsouthlondon said...

lol. I'm typing this ish from work and it's 7pm. shame on a nuuhh.

copped the danger doom and home boy is mad nerdy. I love the Sofa King tune.

"repeat after me. I-am-Sofa-king". digging "The Mask".

Doom for prez!!

I always make a bee-line for the "my bag needs a seat" people. proper wind them up.

Lene said...

hahahahaha.. that reminds me of my journey to school every week day. it seems rush hour never ends in toronto, eh? i'm happy when most people come off at pape station or coxwell. i've stepped on people before, but it's not bad as a good ole slap in the face. hahaha. some people like to sit on me "by mistake" and pretend they never saw me there. LIES! how can you miss the seat beside me and sit in my lap instead?