Slap!

Oh man I can never leave my job on time. For some reason even though every day I say to myself 'boy you need to leave early after the day you just put in' I still find myself there at 530 or 6pm. Seems like just when I think I'm about to leave there is always some important email or memo to send or document to process.

I'm out! 515pm, that's not bad. For once I should make it home before 7, hell I should definitely even make it before 630, if I'm lucky.

Oh wait I have errands to run as usual. Oh well.

I took a nice stroll up to the subway station. Its drizzling. Just Great. Of all the days to be without a waterproof jacket or at least an umbrella. And my throat was already feeling scratchy this morning after running outside to put out the green bin for the garbage guy in that 2 degree weather. Got to find out if raccoons hibernate so that I can put my garbage out overnight. I sure hope they do. Who was the geni-ass that designed that green bin for the City anyways? Seems like raccoons can pick that flimsy latch open in their sleep.

Anyway, what can ya do.

Almost at the subway and as expected the rain starts to hold up. It figures.

Oh what do we have here today at the subway entrance? Some F.O.I brothers trying to sell that list of books they are always try to sell. As-salam-A-lakim. Salakum A salaam. I always wonder about that list of 'black' books that they have. I think those guys should stick to selling the Final Call or slang bean pies or whatever else they do. I mean don't get me wrong, I got love for them but come on you're not selling the actual books you're selling a booklist. Do you guys realize that this is 2005 and if I wanted to get a list of books I've got google and the internet at my disposal. And I'm not the only one with internet access, its pretty widespread. I mean I can see why you were doing this back in 1994 but yo, wake up brothers, its a new day, you need a new hustle. I'm not paying 3 or 4 dollars for a list that tells me what to read, that 3 or 4 dollars can go towards the actual books.

Step through the turnstyles and go downstairs. Oh man its too early, the subway is going to be crazy packed. Should have bummed around downtown for a while. What luck! There's a train waiting. Seems like its been there a while, must be some delay in the system. Its crazy packed and some folk are on the platform waiting for the next one but since I have no idea how long the next one will be I jump on.

Standing room only. Good thing I brought that discman with the Danger Doom lp. Doom's such a nerd, who else would have a rap line about flux capacitors and Kes and Neelix from StarTrek Voyager. ha ha ha. I've been a fan since he did Viktor Vaughn.

Train starts moving, hmmm I wonder what the crush capacity of this thing is. Will have to look it up. Whatever it is we're pretty close to it. Its hot up in this piece too! That's the reason people get sick. Outside is near freezing and inside is like a sauna.

Wait a minute yo no way! Homeboy over to the side just pulled out a walkman. No not a discman, I mean a real walkman, a portable cassette player. Now that's throwback. What a novelty compared to all the iPods, mp3 players, blackberries, portable dvd players and cd players that I've become accustomed to seeing on the ride home. Whoa that brings back memories of the original mix tapes and the pause tapes I used to make back in the days. Wicked!

Ok we've got a little room to move as some folk empty out at one of the hubs. Looks like I'm standing all the way to Kennedy though. When I leave late I don't have that problem.

What to do what to do. I wish I was sitting so I could read my magazine. Look at that dude sleeping, I wish I was him right now although he looks a little too out of it for my liking. Dune Dune Dune! Well that's what the subway bell sounds like in my opinion. Some sitting folk actually get up this time and leave. Ok some available seats. I'll let the ladies hold those seats first. What's with this dude in the business suit? He just stole that seat from an old lady. Has he no shame. Van Damn some folk just don't have any blasted training. Chupse!

Interesting the types you see on the subway aint it. You've got your readers, your music listeners, your sleepers, your don't touch me I'm a germaphobe-ers, your my bag deserves a seat more than you do-ers, your I just need to unwind-ers, your I'm pretending I'm not here-ers, your I'm too posh to be sitting next to you common folk-ers oh and me your average people watcher. Maybe I'll let out a random sneeze just to confirm who the germophobes are lol.

Ah things to ponder while one is standing holding a subway pole.

Feeling tired. More tired than usual actually, maybe I am getting sick. Oh just peachy! The subway car half empties at Main and Vic Park. Vic Park ah sunshine again or in this case semi darkness since the sun is setting earlier and earlier but at least after Vic Park you see the open air again. You're out of the tunnel. Hmm its Autumn all right, the trees are starting to turn different shades. I'd get excited about that like my wife does except to me it just signals the inevitable that the cold is just around the corner.

So anyway, we pull into Kennedy. I'm standing with my hand high on the pole and bracing for the train to pull in because sometimes the train is kind of jerky in its approach to the platform.

The train comes in rather smoothly as my hand is outstretched behind me holding on and my body is facing the door just waiting for those doors to open so I can escape this underground serpents belly.

The train stops, my hand instinctively releases the pole and gravity drags it downward. A seemingly innocent activity when all of a sudden WHAX! My hand connects with the face of this dude who was sitting in the seat below my hand. He proceeds to give me a screw face. The man vex.

Hey its not my fault I slapped you or as I like to see it you used my hand to procure a slap for yourself. You ran into or rather stood up right in the path of my hand you moron. My hand is on the pole, you see it coming down, wouldn't it have made sense to wait till I moved my hand to get up instead of jumping up immediately right into my hand's path. Dumb ass don't give me that look. Anyway I still swiftly mutter an I'm sorry and head up the escalator. Still got those errands to run. Just another day on Public Transit.

And no flippant comments about the squash game. That was an accident just like this was an accident.