Supermarket madness

Dear Mr Supermarket owner

I understand that ya duz mek nuff money when the holidays arrive cause certain people like dem duz only shop when Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas arrive but I got some advice for ya.

We your loyal customers dat duz shop week after week in ya store doan really like all the hustle an bustle come holiday time. I mean whichpart these other people duz be all year round? Dem doan cook except on special occasions? Is only KFC and Mcdonalds dem buying all year round fa true? Well nuh wonder summuch diabetes and obesity run this place nuh.

Anyways ah have two suggestions for ya. The first one is to try an have some sort of video or instructional pamphlet for these one time shoppers on using a shopping trolley. Lawd ave mercy, the place already pack but people doan know ya cant park off ya shopping trolley in de midle a people aisle an go browsing all bout the place causing all sorta aisle block.

And be familiar with the size a ya trolley. No miss lady dat trolley not going to fit in dat tight space and please watch where ya going cause muh corns cant tek anudda running over so soon after the last one. And dont be turning dem corners a de supermarket aisls like ya going to the indy 500 eidda.

The second suggestion is I feel ya need to reward the loyal customers like me that duz shop at ya week after week. So I suggest ya come up wid some sorta shopping loyalty or shopping priority fa we. Give we bigger carts or express lanes or some sorta preference to these newbies cause is we weekly business that duz keep you going from holiday to holiday ya know. If ya had to wait on Christmas, Easter and thansgiving allya goods wud be in deyso spoiling an ya wud be gine outta business quick quick.

Anyway happy Christmas everyone.

Shoot em up

Seems like every few months there is some new mass shooting in the U.S and the stories get more and more tragic.

I really haven't followed the latest Newtown shooting story as in depth as some of the other past ones. Maybe its a bit like I'm shocked but somehow not really surprised anymore because it seems like no where is safe these days anywhere.

How to lose a sale

Sorry I been away so long mi friends. Life just overwhelming at the moment. But anyways.......

Today is mi birthday. So I took the day off from work with the wife and we relaxing although I surprisingly end up doing nuff nuff wuk round the house but I still get in some relaxing.

In the early afternoon now we decide we going to the mall. Now I going readily admit I cant really shop with the wife. I duz bring she along for expertise sometimes when I shopping but I is a man dat duz shop real fast and can do the entire mall while she still in one aisle of the same store.

Anyway  we gone in a toy store and she looking for gifts. I look round twice and ready to leave and she in there tekkin she time. So I had wanted to go look for some other gifts and she tell me go ahead an we would meet back.

So I went and do my thing still ain't see she an then start roaming the mall. Now as I walk past this one cosmetic store, a young lady rush up to me and tell me smell some fragrance or the other and then she invite me in the store. I ain't got nuttin more to do so why now.

She then proceed to lay it on thick about such an such a product and how great it is and how it would be such a wonderful gift for the woman in my life. Then she hit me with the price and I was like ummm yea but the product nice an all but this is all ya duz get fa that price?

So all along she smiling up in mi face and then she try now wid she tricky self telling me she got a special deal for me an she wud lop off about 20% of the price. So I there contemplating and I tell she well looka is my birthday today you going have to give me a special extra discount.

Now the woman look pun mi an ask me how old I is. I tell she my age an hear the woman "oh you is the same age as my father."