The Digits

Dont feel like writing at all but whatever.

Times change.

Growing up I was never one of those really cool guys. Hell I aint that cool now come to think of it. So when it came to the females it was always difficult for me to get in there and blow them away with my wit, cha-risma, personality and charm and the like since well I have/had none to speak of.

Plus the one thing about girls is that they always travelled in packs, still do come to think of it. Safety mechanism maybe but for a shy guy downright scary cause its hard enough for a self-conscious teenager to work up the courage to chat to a girl, he's interested in, one on one but to talk to her while her formidable entourage (which may or may not include one of two girls who positively hate you guts) listens as you stammer and stutter and try to come up with something cool to say that to the guy could be like police interrogation.

Cause you know regardless of how well you planned out the conversation in your head before hand someone would throw a wrench in the plan and it would take a turn you hadnt foreseen. drats!

So we guys initially operated on the predator - prey model. Separate and attack. It was like in those cop shows and being on a stakeout and then sighting the suspect entering the building. You spot the girl moving away from the crowd and "All squads move in now now now! "

But alas those opportunities were usually short lived as the pack or herd or entourage seemed to always sense your plan and would move in swiftly leaving a slightly tall, gangly yout at a loss for words with his brain screaming "disengage I repeat disengage and retreat. wha you waiting for boy run way nuh!" (ps i'm writing this in first and third person for a reason.)

So anyway after a while, surveillance and stake-outs leading to frustration (damn I/this person sounds like a stalker) the whole point of the stake-outs was drawn sharply in focus. What was the purpose? Duhh to get the girls of course, stay focused son but no I mean we did the stake-outs, the short chats but then what? How do we get those chats to lead to longer chats, leading to walks and dates etc etc especially in the face of the quarterback protection defense run by the entourage?

It was then that every boy came up with the idea of getting the digits. The phone numbers. Why? Cause getting a phone number was the easiest way to make progress with a girl in a one on one situation without major embrassment. Separated by distance in familiar surroundings, she couldnt see you sweating and sad but true you could prepare talking points on cue cards just in case your brain froze. (hey I didnt say I did specifically, I'm just saying you could ok now back off)

The Digits! Getting them wasnt easy either but a conniving yout could always fabricate some story as to why he needed them for legitimate homework purposes or the like. And if he was smart he could always parlay one girls digits into other girls digits. It was like hacking into the mainframe. Once you're in you theoretically could go anywhere on the system.

So he could do the friend thing with one girl who he wasn't interested in and hence was less liable to sweat and have brain freeze around and so coul easily get the digits and use her to slip into that network and get digits for the girls he actually was interested in. Its called subterfuge! Whoo hoo! I mean or so I've been told.

Anyway this post wasnt supposed to go like this at all. It was supposed to be about how back in the day you had to walk with pen and paper to write down the digits (see the movie The Wood) as opposed to today whre you just pull out the cell phone and instantly save those digits but the post got hijacked from word one what can I say.

Still, my personal favourite story (see now this is about me as opposed to the rest that was just sort of a general overview, yea thats it a general overview, nothing personal at all, zero percent) about the digits is this girl who once gave me the digits in her digits but gave them to me scrambled. Ya think I telling lies? Nope. The girl gave me the individual numbers and tell me to figure out the phone number. Hey it was better than giving me a false phone number. I think so anyways.

So see me going through all sorts of permutations and combinations and trying to solve this number. Jdiddy loves himself a challenge!

Ya know the funny thing. I actually got the number! Perseverance and a whole heap a wrong numbers!

Yea I'm a nerd. What son what!