Monday, November 28, 2005

Subway Stories

Ok before you guys begin to think I'm on hiatus or sick or something let me jot down a few lines (although truth is I am a bit under the weather today).

Got a few subway/transit stories for you so here goes with the first one.

(1)
It was a dark and stormy night, this evening on my way home. How ya mean it cant be night when its evening? A who telling the story not me? Ya see how dark the place duz get at 4 o clock? Man these days by 7 o clock is like midnight outside. I reached Kennedy station, surprisingly without dropping into the deep subway slumber I am accustomed to, around 7 o clock only to find that as usual the Scarborough RT had broken down. Worthless piece of crap I mumble to myself as I stood there waiting for my bus to arrive watching the mad scramble down the stars from the RT platform. I don't usually take the RT but when it breaks down it usually means a massive influx of slightly dazed and lost persons searching for another way home which usually means the replacement buses they run in its place or any other bus that comes into the bus bay including mine. Chaos and pandemonium as passengers shout at overworked bus drivers and each other. Nerves are on edge and tempers flare because everyone wants to just go home after a long hard day on the hustle at work. So Kennedy is not the place you want to be and definitely not on a cold damp day like today but hey what's a brother to do.? Damn TTC cant live with it cant live without it.

I'm waiting silently, watching the drama unfold while keeping an eye out for my bus as I stand close to the bus bay doors waiting for its arrival. I'm in my own world as usual, although the ever present music is absent, just trying to keep warm while keeping up my mean mugging. What am I mean mugging for well even if it wasn't tired cold and potentially coming down with a bug I'd do it just because its Kennedy station and a brothers gotta look hard like he's ready to throw down at the drop of a dime when he steps into that spot. Aint no happy go lucky dudes up here, we stays grimy son! WHAT! What you haven't noticed that everyone looks hard at Kennedy station? I noticed that last year when I got here and I've already perfected my Ice Cube scowl since moving to these parts. Its all about survival of the fittest, adapt or be ghost. Word!

Lol, ok its not that hard but hey everyone mean mugs man I aint lying. Maybe its cause we out in the boondocks and the trip from downtown takes so long that by the time you reach Kennedy brothers just got issues and it shows on your face. ha ha.

Still, Its cold and rainy tonight. The temperature is in the double digits which is good cause two days ago we were in the negative double digits but as I said a brother be sick so I'm still a bit cold tonight. I'd usually stand outside on the platform but I cant deal with the cold air so I'll chill inside until the bus comes. What that does mean is I'll get on the bus but probably way after the mass of humanity has taken all the seats and most of the standing room.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comThe bus arrives, I spot it early and I'm out on the platform in a dash. Nowhere to run to though as the crowd rolls thicker than Wu Tang on stage. Doggone it! The bus is filling up quickly, if I don't get on I've got to wait about 15 minutes for another one. Its never this crazy at 7 o clock oh right RT breakdown. damn!

I manage to get on and get a standing spot close to the door. For once the standing room is packed because usually dudes just stand at the front door and refuse to move back into the bus. Its like everybody feels they be Rosa Parks or some ish. Move to the back of the bus you clowns! Plus what's truly annoying is that two bus stops later it usually empties out. Lazy ass Torontonians its only a 5 minute walk let people who are going further get into the bus nuh man.

Barely made my way into the bus and I'm almost standing level with the driver. We are at crush capacity, think sardines or slaves on the middle passage. I try to squeeze further into the bus but as I mentioned last paragraph those folk who stand at the front have me boxed in. They wont go further in and I cant squeeze past them.

The driver complains that's he's not moving until some folk get out. Easy for him to say that we've been waiting for this bus for a while now no one wants to get out. No one past the white line he says. Damn I'm on the white line! Two folk nearer to the door get off and I'm still on the white line. I aint moving. Anyway I guess the two who left were enough to get the show on the road when this last minute cat jumps on and tries to somehow get past me onto the bus. He's trying to crawl past me using a non-existent space. Its not working so my man starts elbowing me like Alonzo Morning boxing out in the paint. What da? I somehow manage to turn around and glare down on him like I could kick your ass little man. Damn that patented Ice Cube scowl comes in handy. No words exchanged but that was that no more elbows. Thank you Cube, you the man even though you fell off and went Hollywood. Still I swear one of these days I'm going to have to throw two box in someone on the bus.

Anyway we set off. Its raining "bucket a drop" as my bajan people would say. As predicted at stop number 2 the bus loses about 8 passengers. I'm buffeted from the left and right as they attempt to blow past me out of the bus. I can only small up myself when a woman coming from the right and a fella from the left. I don't know what wunnah expect me to do.

The trip continues. People get off and some get on but at least I've got some breathing room now and we are less packed than before. I've moved down somewhat into the bus as space became available. My stop is coming up but I'm stuck behind some tall dude with a knapsack taking up the entire corridor and some chick on a cell phone who although she's like 5 foot 2 decides that her feet must stretch out across the walkway. I gine tell ya this as God is my witness if she doan try an move them two big ugly hooves she got deyso I gine mek it my business ta mash she corns on purpose on my way out. Ya think I lie? Chupse! Looka how she gine skin out she feet into the corridor ta throw down people. I serious though some of these young people aint got no damn sense at all ya kno!

Anyway I say excuse me, she moves her feet but I still have to push my way past knapsack boy to get off the bus but at least my transit trip is over for the day ..........until tomorrow. Damn!

(I still have like three more subway stories but this went overtime)

ps: Got the chance to link with two of Toronto's finest bloggers this weekend. Madamoiselles Solitaire and Starfoxx. I must say it was totally my pleasure to make both your acquaintances and you guys seem like alot of fun to hang with. Star I know I'll see you around Scarberia, we gotta link again. And to my likkle sistren Soli all the best on your Journey out west, Toronto will miss you but we know you are off to do big things. Stay grounded, stay focused and stay vigilant. Glad I got the chance to meet you before you took off. Don't worry about a thing, God got ya back and he will protect you on your journey and in your new home. Knock em dead sis . One love.

14 comments:

Brotha Buck said...

I'm always shocked at the number of black (I almost said African-American) Canadian bloggers.Ya'll got alot of brothas living in Canada and ridin the bus, huh?

Lene said...

Yo, that story brought a tear to my eye. hahahaha. Ice Cube comes in handy? Who knew? Once again, thanks for waiting with me at the bus stop. I thought that ish would never come. I feel worse for that other lady, because I know she would end up waiting a next 30 mins. hahahahahaha

4panist said...

J-d
I know what you mean about transit stories..its like there is a entire etiquette about life in the tubes and on the bus. My main thing is when people try to push past you to get to the door BEFORE the subway stops at the station. How do they know that I'm not getting off too? I'm a generally pleasant sister, but I have been know to let off some choice words when that happens.

Dr. D. said...

Public transport...ugh....reminds me of the tube in London....

Urban Sista said...

Boy, you must have been with me on Saturday afternoon when I was on the bus. I was about to tear loose on some people. People see you holding on for dear life ('cause dese TTC drivers are wild) and they want to push you around de bus like you is a rag doll. Just because I'm a woman don't mean that I can't scowl and suck teef wid de best of dem.

Chupse. I hate the TTC and the rahtid RT.

BajanQueen said...

Glad to know you're ok....

Wow it's the world we live in, what can you do?!?!

~Smooches~

Amadeo said...

I'm glad I'm driving now cause things like that on the bus would have erroded my kind nature. Now I just have to worry about stupid people in traffic.

brooklyn babe said...

I can't take the 4pm getting dark thang a-tall... it does barely make me sing my soul.....

later cheese cutter!

Miz JJ said...

I hate getting all squished up against people like that on the bus. Ick.

solitaire said...

Jokes! Pure jokes! TTC stories (remember, we're going to collaborate on a transit horror story book, eeh??)..
And of course, tanks tanks TANKS a million times fi di gift. Wuhloss, all a wunnah did surprise a sister.
Thanks for the good words... and Starfoxx a real nut, eeh? (And then you got to witness that I'm a big ole fool as well! hahaha)

LOL @ Brotha Buck... there are PLENTY of Black people up here, OPRAH! (See if you get that reference)

Quirky Creativity said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Quirky Creativity said...

LOL Hey peeps! I'm a new blogger, but a long time reader of J-did's, most of y'all commentors.
As a Torontonian (and a black one at that, brotha buck!)I know TTC/RT and the Go-Train can create some serious horror tales!! Pure jokes/great post!

Mad Bull said...

Reminds me of the mini bus experiences back in Jam.

Stunner said...

God blessed the day I got my car!