Monday, November 14, 2005

Confessions Part ?

I actually don't know how to put this in writing or if I should be exposing this on the net so bear with me while I ramble.

Well my wife's been gone for a few weeks now. Off on business and vacation and I've been left here all by my lonely. Toronto's an awfully big city when you are all alone. Cold and somewhat frightening.

Well you know how it goes when a guy's girl aint around and he's all on his own with time on his hands and nothing to do. Temptation is always around the corner. Yep good ol temptation its always there just lurking, waiting to strike, or more like just biding the time to find an opening to slide right in and take a spot when your vulnerability's down. Especially when you are a guy.

Well with the wife away temptation caught up to me this week. Sigh! So many women so little time.

I really cant explain it but take my word for it, it just kind of happened. What can I say? It wasn't like I planned for it to happen or anything, it just plain did. Temptation got the best of me.

Yea ok I didn't put up much of a fight to the idea so I'll take the blame. Not that I was trying to shift the blame its just that I'm trying to say what I have to say without making things too difficult.

And sadly this is not the first time that I've given in to temptation. Yea what can I say almost everytime my wife goes away and those temptations come around I give in. Yea I'm weak I guess but cant I be forgiven I'm only human. I'm only a man. I just cant say no to those beautiful women. All they have to do is open their mouths and speak the simplest words to me and I'm caught up. It is my one weakness and I've known this for a long time.

Especially M. What a woman! I've known M since before I met my wife. We had a thing going on, well more than a thing that makes it seem frivolous and casual. Words cant even describe it. I'm telling you it was something deep. It was real love. Even during my courtship phase with my wife, M was always there in the background of my life waiting till my wife wasn't around to just show up. She soothed me on so many occasions, she brought me joy, when I was stressed or tired. Somehow I just couldn't let go of her during this courtship, she became an addiction. Even if I was hanging out with my soon to be wife at night whenever she left I'd have to somehow find M just to hear her sweet voice before I went to bed.

My wife sort of knew about M but she didn't realize that anything was going on or if she did she assumed it was just a passing phase and it would soon be gone. M never drew attention to herself so we were able to continue our relationship without anyone knowing. I kept it on the hush (I would use the word downlow but that got all sorts of different connotations nowadays and I man doan play that). Sure M and my wife met and actually got along quite well. But while M knew all about my wife, my wife was oblivious to my relationship with M besides the fact that she was an acquaintance. She didn't realize that she was in fact sharing me with M.

Oh boy things could get complicated.

When we married that was it for me and M. I saw her occasionally but it just wasn't the same as my wife wasn't too fond of that. Even though she didn't know the extent of my relationship with M she put her foot down and said no more M. You don't need anyone else but me. But the truth be told, I really missed M and any chance I had and my wife wasn't around for a couple of days I'd fall back into the same old habits and M would somehow end up with me back in the bedroom.

Yea I know our bedroom oh man that just makes things worse doesn't it. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that but it was so good what M did for me on those nights when I would otherwise be lonely. She was a voice to listen to and a shoulder to cry on. I honestly loved M. Over and over I'd fall asleep comforted by her presence.

And no I didn't see M when the wife was around if that makes it any better although I'm sure it doesn't. Somehow I was always able to resist her charms when the wife was around. Strange isn't it? Does that make things better or worse I'm not sure or does it even matter.

Well as the years went by things changed. I still see M occasionally but as I said things change. I've gotten over her and I'm just not feeling her as much as I was 7 or 8 years ago when my appetite for her was insatiable.

But that doesn't mean I'm not giving into temptation any more. Nope on the contrary I'm messing with not one but two new girls now. Younger chicks too. Lets call them K and T. I've only met them recently and I cant profess to love them the same way I loved M but when the wife is away they get the job done ...if ya know what I mean wink wink! I've been alternating between the two. I don't feel like I have anything emotionally invested in either and I'm not sure I can keep up with these young girls cause most times in two twos I duz be sleeping. They now warming up and I man duz be getting ready to catch a serious snooze. Then again I not as young as I used ta be and I cant be expected to keep up with these young yams but what can I say a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Ok that was the wrong thing to say. It makes me seem like a punk. I'm a little ashamed though which I guess is why I'm confessing. Don't get me wrong I'm not apologizing just confessing. I'm not sorry for anything that I did or that I'm doing? Why should I? I don't think I've done anything wrong! Things happen I told you. When the cat's away the mice will play isn't that what they say and like I said earlier Toronto can be a pretty cold and lonely place by oneself.

What!! Don't you dare judge me until you've walked in my shoes.

Sigh but like I said temptation just got the best of me. Its an addiction I just cant help myself. Oh well could be worse, I could be messing with a white girl. Sorry!

Oh yea and shhh dont tell my wife.

-----------------------
Ok now did you guys figure out I was actually talking the fact that when the wife is away I listen to music at night in bed or y'all thought I was talking about something else? Wait wunnah think if it was something else I would confess juss so on the internet? I know I aint got no common sense but I aint mad? M = Mary J Blige and T and K are Toya Alexis and Keisha Cole whose respective albums I've been listening to lately. Don't ask me to name any of their songs though cause by track two I'm out like a light. Did y'all catch the Real Love, My life and Bring me Joy hints I dropped in there? Oh wait, I feel all y'all did think I was talking about something else ya know :-). Shame on you for besmirching my good reputation. lol

Could have done this blog a bit better with some xtra time though but oh well, I'm tired, its past my bedtime and it doesn't have to be perfect. Anyway I gone to listen to some more music and go to sleep. Enjoy!

31 comments:

Abeni said...

Yeah Yeah.Music you say:)

Inside Man said...

Good post, I was worried that you went nuts for a minute. Somebody out there will only get half way through it, watch your back!

Jdid said...

@abeni - what ya doan believe me? lol
@kg - yea I know I'm prepared to get cursed out up in this joint lol

Campfyah said...

ha ha ha good post...Mary causes a lot of problems for women..she better watch her back.

Luke Cage said...

You're not going to believe me, but I swear when you said "M" I thought you were referring to Mary J. Heck, that's my girl too. Even my wife would understand if I was after her when she was away. She might even tell me to call her when I was finished -lol.

But I definitely knew you weren't fooling around. Like you said in the end, if you weren't tired, the story would've flowed in a different direction and had folks leaning to the left like "oooh no Jdid. Not you too brotha!" -lol-

Miz JJ said...

Mary soothes a lot of people. But I was definitely wondering who M was at first.

Sunshine said...

Ratid-You had me going there-almost.

obifromsouthlondon said...

U duz talk nuff foolishness lol! had me for a hot minute heh!

one up on ya mate! got floetry in the bathtub as I type

BajanQueen said...

You are toooo much!! Had me going there for a min...but why would you post about it!! *smile*

Great post!

~Smooches~

Rose said...

I thought about two things: he is absolutely nuts to confess on the internet- is he crazy, and this has got to be about something else like candy or food, music didn't cross my mind....Whew! (wiping the sweat off my forehead)

ShellyP said...

Man, I'll admit it. You had me going. I was like, "What on earth??"

Lene said...

nice, i knew it was some joke.

EJ Flavors said...

got me too for a second. but no biggie, i can share. definitely.

Dr. D. said...

You never fooled me at all JDid.

I going tell you wife what you up to in her absence...typical man! Shame on you ! And on top of it...wifey is with child! ;-)

SP said...

First I thought, ok, it's got to be something else, then I was reading like "Shame on you! And Wifey carrying your little one!"

You shouldn't play like that cuz Wifey could read the first 4 paragraphs before coming after you!

Urban Sista said...

you're ridiculous! I'm reading and saying 'jdid caan be so lawless! Especially now dat de wife wif chile.'

I kept hoping dat you were a decent Bajan. T'ank de Lord, it's music dat go you carrying on so.

I'm feeling Mary and Keyshia as well. Keyshia can sing -- I watched her last night on the Vibe Awards. I was impressed.

Groove said...

Ohhhhh you got jokes...

I was sittin here with my mouth open, thinking, OH NO! NOT JDID!

Lol

Mad Bull said...

Oh cripes! Its music! I knew it wasn't women in the sense you made it sound, but I didn't figure out that it was music! I should have known!

Ri said...

Nice one. You had me going for a minute as well. But I had another psyche in my mind, because one of the other regular shyte talkers had me going today with a nice one about getting a haircut from a half nekkid lady and all along it was his wife. You will have seen it.

Stunner said...

LOl! I knew you were up to something. But I just had to reead on...wanted to know what the catch was. Good one though.

Shotta M said...

I started reading with the suspicion that there was more to the post than the first thoughts of my mind, but I eventually started thinking that you were making a confession and ting.

Safire said...

Oh, you had me going, there. I was positively scandalized. You get mad props for this one (comma) yo. Tricky, tricky...

princessdominique said...

See, you had me thinking--not the DID! Isn't he having a baby. You wrong for getting people going like that...

Mr. Righteous said...

Guy you brave you know ….you playing with your life ..it’s a known fact pregnant women are very irrational which is a legal defence , and they also lose a lil sight during the term so you could imagine she reading the first half just when jr decide to turn and pinch the

Burke said...

I knew it was about music all along. You can't fool me!

~b*b~ said...

"my life" is her best album, IMHO. you are a straight joker bruh - i was about to ban you and your blog for a minute there.

Gunner Kaufman said...

Soem folk believe if you thought it, its jsut as bad as doing it. At least it was with the females you describe. Not bad, not bad at all. I cant lie, when my wife was out of town, me and ETTA JAMES used to fall asleep together. Well actually I left the cd on while I passed out.

4panist said...

you are straight up scandalous. Never read a post with my eyes popping so far out of my head.

Jdid said...

@camp - true that
@luke - ok next mission will be to write one that mr cage believes lol
@mizjj - lol
@sunshine - cuhdear ya did believe that about me
@obi - nuff nuff foolishness brother yu wouldnt believe
@bajanqueen - smart lady lol
@rose - ha ha ha
@shellyp - lol, i'm glad that was the intent
@starfoxx - yea you knew i wouldnt go out like that
@ej flavors - cool i knew you'd understand
@dr D - i'm sorry man i couldnt help it
@SP - yea good point i'll be more careful next time
@urban sister - no not you too, ya did believe dat about me cuhdear den
@groove - shame why all y'all aint have n faith in me :-)
@mad bull - yea man
@ri - man mad bull mess me up lol
@stunner - thanks
@shotta m - no man i wont do dat
@safire - lol, really?
@princess d - glad you liked it
@mr righteous - boy next time i will have to run this thing past you and get some advice before i put my life in danger
@burke - sure :-)
@becky - dont ban me i innocent, i innocent
@gunner - nothing wrong with that
@4panist - me scandalous?? not me ya will have to wait and see what i post next week. oooh la la! :-)

solitaire said...

LOL... Diddy, I know seh yuh faithful to yuh wife... from the beginning I thought you were talking about food or sumthin... LOL.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Jdid, drink some ice-cold water and chew some peppermint leaf, dear heart; that will lower the stress. Jdid, you too bad.