Tuesday, September 27, 2005

White girl!

Image hosted by Photobucket.comBefore you think I'm back I still on break but I was just reading Kami's blog and I felt inspired to rant a tad. Thanks Kami!

So New York Yankees captain and shortstop Derek Jeter is receiving hate mail relating to his being a traitor to his race and dating white girls. You can read it all here.

Well I was utterly shocked by this news. Derek Jeter is black? Really? No! Really? naaa stop joking! For real! Jeter is black? Damn! lol. Seriously though I thought Jeter was one of those guys who would claim he's Hispanic or I'm part French, Iroquois, Dutch, Lebanese, Polynesian, midget and Eskimo mixed or something like that, I never really thought of him as black. No not cause he is light skin is just I always thought he wasn't black. Hispanic or something maybe lol. Of course Hispanic isn't really a racial group but that's another post.

Anyway I'm just making a little joke of Jeter. He's a great player and has done well for me in numerous fantasy baseball pools so I aint mad at a brother. Date who you want to.

Still I think I need to go to the FBI and turn informer. I think I know who sent Jeter that letter. See all now the FBI looking at white supremacist groups, rednecks, and supporters of apartheid, David Duke, Strom Thurman and those sorts of fellows. Pssst listen closely all them law enforcement police bwoy barking up the wrong tree. Is true ya know!

Lean over let me whisper in your ear (but not like them ying yang poppits). The person who sent Jeter the letter is ...Listen closely.... a.... i serious ya know.....Nobody else aint listening right.... alright I gine tell ya....Its a...... BLACK WOMAN!

shhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone I said that.

Is true! I aint lying. It had to be a black woman that sent him the letter. Forget the white supremacist angle for a minute. No one gets madder at brothers for dating white women than sistas? I lie? Tell me I lie?

I call it the 'White girl' issue. It affects black women and it occurs anytime a black man is seen or has even been heard to have been in the vicinity of white girls.

So in this case some sista out there clearly got tired of seeing Jeter with all those white women when she single, eligible and ready to mingle and find a decent black man. She going to the club and all she's meeting is these losers and her last 5 dates have been with dudes who cant put two sentences together. So she see Derek all in the limelight with white girl after white girl (sorry I don't know his dating habits so I'm assuming that's what it is) and she just got vex and send Jeter that letter one time.

Is true man! Think about it. Anytime a black woman see a brother with a white girl, you ever see how her face duz set up like rain about to fall? She will chupse, she will give dirty looks, she will cuss, she will give cut-eye, she will do everything in her power besides throw big rocks (and sometimes she wishes she had a rock or two to throw) to register disgust with that black man.

Let me give you a story. One time I was walking into Chapters book store downtown Toronto and this white girl was walking near to me. I cant remember what she looked like because I wasn't paying much attention. She wasn't with me lets set that straight! I don't want my black female readers to start cussing me so let we get that straight one time. I did not know the white girl. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So I'm at the store's entrance and as we reached the entrance together I just held the door open for the girl, just trying to be courteous. She said thank you. Well at that very minute two sistren was leaving the building. They were chatting all nice and happy when all a sudden they see me holding the door open for the white girl. Boy if ya see how facial complexion change one time quick quick so. If them two girls had anything on them they could throw at me I man wouldn't be here to tell the story. Talk about face look vex! I almost run back through the door but then they might have chased me down and beat me to within an inch of my life. And I'm walking into the store trying to shrug it off and proclaim my innocence without loudly shouting 'she aint wid me I doan know de white girl' but the daggers that shooting from these sisters faces already brand me somehow to be a 'race traitor' and them ready to kill me.

And that's not a one time occurrence for me either. Its happened a few times at least. I think a sisten explain to me that I seem like a brother that would date white women, I don't know exactly what that means one of you sisters will have to explain.

But you know what's funny about black women and this white girl issue. It holds for any situation. How I mean? Well sometimes brothers have the same type of issue when we see black women with white men. However men are more discriminating with who they apply this issue to. If we see Halle with a white man, we would be vex. Brothers would be like 'oh man! Why she have to be with that white dude and leave the brothers, that's just wrong son, that ill!' Same thing if we saw Beyonce with a white man or Janet Jackson with a white man or some other sister on the street who we consider beautiful. Brothers will be straight upset. But say we see Whoopie Goldberg or Grace Jones with a white man ya think bredren a kick up fuss? No star we discriminating about it like that.

Not black women. Oh hell no. A brother could be walking down the street looking musty, smelly, ashy aint bathe since last year. He's the type of brother that you don't want, you're friends don't want, you would even warn off the pretensious chick that's always trying to put you down at the club from talking to him. But somehow even though you know that this man is undesirable squared and you should be happy that he found someone and isn't single and bothering you with his musty self you will still have that white girl issue. Look you know no black woman in her right mind aint going to want the dude why you tripping?

So yes, I definitely think the Jeter incident is an issue of a black woman just getting vex and sending him a letter. Don't blame the white supremacist is a black woman do that. Clearly any idiot can see that (which may explain why I spotted it first). What's that FBI number again, I letting off some info, dem have a reward? I man turning informer!

61 comments:

Ruben said...

Not all black women care about the interracial dating thing, a great deal of them do. I've seen some black men hate on black women for interracial dating. Personally, I think it's stupid to attack someone for dating interracially. To be honest , men like Jeter and horse teeth tiger woods are kind of toxic so it is good that they are with women of other races.

Miz JJ said...

As a black woman it does irritate me when I see black men with white women, but it is not that it bothers me on an individual basis. It bothers me because the problem seems to be widespead. In the city I live in nearly every black man seems to be with a white woman. If you see a black couple together it's like seeing a unicorn. It's insulting for black women when we aren't seen as desirable by our own men. Especially when we see them with white women who have nothing special to offer besides white skin.

Angry Dog said...

JDid, I agree with you wholeheartedly about when we see a fine black woman with a white man we get vex! For me, what I don't understand, is that sometimes sistas make it extra hard for a brotha, won't give you even the time of day..."Yo shawty, lemme holla atch'a", nothing, nada, no response! But soon as some of them (note I not generalizing) see you with somebody out of you race, they hatin' on you!

The next thing that I don't understand is that my girl Pebbles, being from Spain, is considered to be "hispanic"...though she looks pretty white to me! Sistas be hatin' on me when they see us, but when I tell them that it's cool, she's hispanic, they down with that!

BTW, why you have ugly foot Paris Hilton as your picture entry for today :D

Mr.Righteous said...

As a black man it use to bother me, but not any more, now this may anger some sisters but a lot of them don’t know what they want, they regularly practice bias within our own race based on the different shades or mixtures it makes me laugh to think sisters would hate like that, on one hand sisters at work telling me I can get close unless I wearing Tims and stepping heavy, but vex if I happen to bust a lime with a white chick
Contradictions, contradictions. Check this, walking downtown me and 3 women see this white girl pass by as a guy I notice her first because the booty she had on man I swear that chick had Bajan blood, hear one of my friends where she going with all that ass. Next one answer like you jealous, you want to run after her and take it back, she say nah leave she with it she probably need it for all the botox injections. Me I never comment I was just enjoying the view until I almost walk into a fire hydrant and they all started to laugh at me. As a married man I learn that all women beautiful regardless of colour, nah that nah right, nothing sweeter that a well balanced grounded black women. But it just goes to show that others will hate even if the white girl just have what they think is a black booty.

Campfyah said...

You see now why you can't be on blog leave too long...lawd yuh sick in trute. I doan playa hate on sisters who date white men or vice versa, I just playa hate when the fellas claim to date white girl, cause dem claim dat white girls do things that the sista won't do or treat them in ways that sista don't treat them.... pitiful.

Luke Cage said...

This has been one of those topics that will never EVER die man. A friend of mine told me something on point recently about why sisters get upset when they see a brother with a white girl. It was explained to me so well, that I can't even put it down here in a way that would do it justice.

So, I'll sidestep that and simply say, I have NEVER been bothered by seeing a sister with a white boy. Nor have I ever been bothered by seeing a brother with a white girl. I simply do not care.

Having said that, it's a different issue altogether for sisters though and it goes much deeper than he's not with me, but he can be with her kind of mentality. It's deep rooted G. There are some brothers whose preference is simply white women. They have nothing against a sister per se, they are just into the white girls. I have no problem with them. They should date whoever they want to date.

Like Campyfah before me, I have a HUGE problem when brothers take a direct shot at sisters like saying they are too defensive, full of attitude, they are this and they are that, and blah, blah, blah. (Ala Wesley Snipes) A brother's got no business generalizing sisters into a bubble claiming that they are all the same, and because of that they will go to a more submissive white woman. Now THAT'S insulting dawg.

But the mentality goes far back man. It is a sore spot for a woman to see a brother with a white girl. Regardless of if that sista wants that black man or not. I see the entire matter differently, and when a sista lives in a town where the black men are lacking, and those same black men turn the blind eye to a prospective sista, that can leave some serious scar tissue in place man.

By the way, I had a blogger once tell me she thought I was with a white woman. Her rationale? I wrote very well and thus, black men don't write like me... Go figure. Interesting post Jdid.

Dr. D. said...

Too much dam shadism...one of the world's biggest problems...the way I see it, you date a person, not somebody's skin colour. As long as you have feelings for the person, he or she gets along well with you, your family and friends, you got similar interests and understand each other culturally, you educationally similar, etc etc...wha the rass de colour of de skin matter!? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all inter racial relationships will last, but away wid the colour suppem...cho!

Shotta M said...

Fo real, it's annoying the crap that a lot of black men get from some black women when they date white women.

Abeni said...

Nah,I firmly believe a white supremacist wrote that and went to pains to make it look as if it could be a woman.Women may be annoyed but I don't see it going over to planning violence.That's a lot more deep seated than that.

ShellyP said...

I thought your reference to how black men discriminate was too funny!

Brotha Buck said...

My brother always says, "white women are like pork. They might taste good, but too much pork will kill ya." I didn't say that. He did.

LivingSingle said...

I can only speak for myself, but I don't have a problem with interracial dating...probably because I don't discriminate myself. I love ALL men lol.

Jdid, I knew you'd be back. And I'm glad you are, even though you're not really yet?? Anyways, take care.

princessdominique said...

I must say that Luke is right, this issue won't die. Some and I stress "SOME" black women don't like it, but some could care less. I could care less. Walk with who you want, talk to who you want, and marry who you want. I do however believe your theory is correct now...a black woman sent him that letter. But like I commented on the other blog, I though he had dipped his toe in the pool when he dated Mariah Carey.

Scratchie said...

See how Abeni denying the whole thing...check her out 1st. Date who you want to date. Why do we really need to pay so much attention to colour.

dorna! said...

"Anytime a black woman see a brother with a white girl, you ever see how her face duz set up like rain about to fall?"

I dunno 'bout dat. Personally, I couldn't give a damn who dates whom.

All I know is that the only time a racial slur ever hit home was when a 'conscious' brother, plus posse of 3 equally upset young black men, confronted me over dating a white man. My parents never prepared me for that one.

Xquizzyt1 said...

I'm guilty of giving bruthas the "look" when they are rolling with someone who's melaninly-challenged. *shrug* I'll admit it. And for some reason it ESPECIALLY irks me if the brutha has LOCKS. Please don't ask me why that irks me more, I can't tell you... it just does. And why does it seem that the bruthas in NY with locks are MORE attracted to white women than anyone else...

But I digress...

As for this Jeter issue... it's just ridiculous to go to those lengths. Absolutely absurd.

The craziest shit is that when I was dating my ex, who was dark skinned and looked like what someone would assume was a black American man... I used to get those same reactions from Latino men who thought that I was dating outside my race. Dominicans and Puerto Ricans are ALWAYS trying to claim me, but what kills me is that THEY can look like ANYTHING!!! So what I should have said to fuck them up was, "Actually, be mad at him, I'm black, he's Puerto Rican." LOL LMAO

Ms. Blaize said...

*Choking on my Sugar Golden Crisps*Oh jeezus!!! I almost fell out. Especially on the Jeter thing! Frankly, I wasn't even sure that he was Black my dayum self!

But on the real, I think you have a valid point. A lot of times Black women will see some bottom-of-the bucket type of Brotha and be really mad about him being with a white girl without thinking about the fact that she probably wouldn't date him anyway. But there are others who see men that they probably would have dated only to find that they are hooked up with white women and there are so many of them that it does pose a question as to why this is the case.

As does most people, I have my own opinions about why this happens. But I do know for a fact that a lot of the reason why Black women feel this way has a lot to do with what they experienced and how people (including Black boys and men) related to them as they grew up. There are a lot of Black women who have experienced feelings of rejection at an early age and even now in small, subtle ways we are still being being told that we are less attractive than White women. Yes, we are becoming more mainstream now and people are suddenly realizing just how beautiful we are. But we still have a lot of these men out there who were raised in a generation where we were relegated to mammy roles, looked upon as helpers, nurturers and disciplinarians and overall people who are "not attractive". They won't date us, notice our worth or realize that we are women who also deserve to be uplifted, respected and taking care of. That hurts our feeling and makes us feel that all of our love was/is absolutely nothing and that is what you see on the faces of Black women.

Mannnnnn, you kinda got me on this post Jdid! This was a tyte post! You never cease to amaze me! Take care! ~ Ms. Blaize

KHALLI 88 said...

I am from an interracial union (Italian/Nigerian) but my appearance is that of a black man and my struggles have been that here in the US and that's fine, I love both heritages but my personal preference is black woman because I identify more with the day to day they go through. I think for some the anger is justified and best told lately through the Kayne West track "Gold Digger" where before they reach that status NBA, MLB, Lawyer,etc a black woman in most scenarios was the support chain until they "arrived" and then break out and do the white wife thing because for some that is the mind-set as proof you made it.
Love is Love so whatever works for you, is not for any one to pass judgement on and I am sure Jeter taps white, black, green ass for that matter.lol He is Captain Yankee for God sakes!

Sunshine said...

Hi Jdid-Excellent post here. I can't comment since I'm not black.

Butta said...

Interesting discourse. I don't think that a black woman sent that madness to Jeter. Yeah we may be mad, suck our teeth, and talk about another brother biting the dust amongst ourselves, but we aren't types to go to those lengths. Especially over Derek Jeter. Denzel, maybe. Derek, I don't see it.

Straight up, I personally don't like seeing a black man--especially if he's good looking and has something going on for himself--with Snowflake on his arm. You'd think that as a fair complexioned Black woman that I'd cut brothas some slack but, nah, I'm as militant as they come. Plus from my personal experience of "losing" a Black man to Becky (yes, her name really was Becky) years ago, that scarred me for life.

GC (God's Child) said...

"She will chupse, she will give dirty looks, she will cuss, she will give cut-eye, she will do everything in her power besides throw big rocks"

yeah, it's true. I feel bad. But I don't take it well when I see black men with white women. but when I see white men with black women, I get a warm fuzzy feeling. No seriously.

Amadeo said...

How about this in Columbia, MD the guys with locks are usually white girl patrons...I make it a point to not be seen in that area.

Slow Metamorphosis said...

This post is HEEEELARIOUS!!! But its true---I have been known to chupse and cut my eye....
My issue is more if its a black man who ONLY dates white women and never gives a sista the time of that. They exclusive thing pisses me off!

Radmila said...

Oh oh.
I have plenty to say on the topic and have blogged about my personal experiences with rude people both black and white who feel they have a right to comment on my relationship.
Niether my husband nor I are beholden to our respective communities. Although, some people feel they have a right to comment and make a judgement on who I am as a person through my choice of partner. People make assumptions about my husband as well, (the whole , "a brother reaches a certain level and has to find himself a white woman" thing), and me with the whole patronizing, "do you speak in patois?" or "oh, you don't look like the kind of woman who goes with...".
I don't care who dates whom, and some people might say that I have that luxury because I'm white, and there is no crisis in the white world, so I wouldn't understand. But, do I care if a black woman dates a white guy? Why should I care? It's her business.
But then, I don't dislike other races, and don't take it personally when men choose someone out of their own race.
I only on occasion have to deal with the residual anger and bitterness of people who feel they have a right to make our personal life their business.
It's not.
The interesting thing is that sometimes that anger comes from some person who themselves would date out of their race, given the right circumstances.

Echo said...

Wow, Jdid this is a deep post.

I wouldn't be surprised at this point at anyone who sent the letter. It could have been black man who had a hate on for Jeter. (people are Strange sometimes)

I do agree with Luke :) he was right on point. (I get that I sound like white person, or I got white peoples hair...both of my parents are black, how can the hair come from a white person)

I really could careless who dates who. At one point in my life, I wouldn't date a biracial person or a white person. I thought that somehow I would be betraying my upbringing and disrespecting my father.

I have since learned that you can't control who you are attracted to, or who you fall in love with. I can see now I was being superficial. I still don't think I would date a white man, they just aren't attractive to me.

Echo said...

I had to come back...Notice how we say Black woman/man, but we say white boy/girl?

Ms. Blaize said...

@ Echo

*LOL* I am almost positive that most white people do not say Black man/woman but Black boy/girl as well. Matter of fact, back in the days they were the ones calling us "boy" and "girl" so I'm happier that despite that, we haven't taken to calling ourselves that as well! ;-)

Wow J, you really outDID yourself on this post! :-)

~Blaize

~ Blaize

princessdominique said...

I just came back to see if the conversation got wild and out of control, but alas its pretty peaceful.

Lene said...

Great post from start to finish. The picture of Paris just clinched it too. hahahaha.

I'll admit, I used to be the one giving screwface to black guys with white girls, but I'm over that now. I don't care who you want to date, as long as you dont cut up black women.

Most of the guys I know, sleep with white girls because they are more likely to give them head. I'm not making a generalization, this is what they told me.

At any rate, Jeter is black?!? Who knew? hahahahaha

Natty said...

I turn a blind eye to the nasty looks and comments. My husband & I have been together for 9 years, we have a beautiful son and a another baby on the way. Anybody who has a problem with seeing two people happy toghether - regardless of color- should justb look away. What difference does it make? I met, fell in love & married the man- not the color...
Hopefully all the bi-racial children out there won't have to worry about this issue when they grow up. Love is love, anyone who finds it & happiness is blessed.

The Marlo Girl said...

starfoxx is crazy. black women give head too! LOL and that comes straight from black men!

i am an EOD - equal opportunity dater. are you male? smart? cute? employed? single? nice? then i'll prolly date you.

i don't care about the brothas dating others, but when they start up on me i want to smack them. 'cause its usually the guys who'll date the fattest, ugliest, white girl they can find who want to talk to me about deserting the race.

chupse.

and it seems true.. that the most "conscious" looking brothers want to talk to me about keepin' it real, and then i'll see'em skipping through the streets hand in hand with some perky blonde ting named becky.

LMAO

courtneyelizabeth said...

eh...honestly, i could care less about that stuff....

notyouraverage.... said...

as a black canadian female - i just want to say it's never concerned me. i've always had friends of all races - and you date (if you are lucky enough to find them) whoever makes you happy - whatever the colour of their skin!

Deb said...

I date men of any race... as long as they interest me. I just started kickin' it with a very good looking, intelligent black guy I know. I'm white. Will his friends care? Some. Will his family? I know his mom does... his ex-wife was white, and she wants him to marry a black woman. As long as he can deal with what is thrown his way, I can deal with what comes mine.

~b*b~ said...

yuh back with a vengeance jd - but why'd you pick paris when you know she has a reputation for using the n-word (lol)

...any why does the name becky have such a bad rap? we're not all blonde bimbos :)

Stunner said...

I think all dis badface is foolishness! Anybody should be free to be with who they want, without prejudice.

The Marlo Girl said...

aw, BB i wasn't hatin' on ya... i'm just using an example. i should jess shet my mouth, 'cause my real name's joanne, and lord knows people tease me about my "white girl" name all the time!

i got love fo' ya!

Anonymous said...

Totally unrelated to your entry, but I figured out why my blog was blocking your comments: for some reason it is classing "bac" (as in "backra" or what you were trying to post today) as "questionable content". Don't ask me why, but I've changed it. You can try your comment again if you want, and if you get blocked in the future, post a comment to let me know so I can fix up, fix up and sort things out.

titilayo said...

That last comment was me. I don't know why it showed up anonymous.

brooklyn babe said...

I'm all late to class, but I made it teacher.. lol
Yo I'm going to put this so raw, but for me its like this:
"Who U stick, is between U and Ur d_k." Just don't announce that ish too me....
America is TOO concerned with whom ppl take to bed.
Derek aint taking me to bed, nor I him. I could care less whom he sleeps with.
I do however have a problem with Brothas who feel b/c they got with one outside their race, that their better and above those people and sistas in their race... I mean they still black.... and will be reminded of such.
Hence OJ....and now Michael.
They'll be more.... Kobe was just a tease.

lady_in_purple said...

i try, TRY not to care when i see black men with white women, but that's just too hard to do when it seems like black men date white women simply b/c they are white. if i saw black women with white men at the rate i see black men with white women, i wouldn't be nearly as aggravated.

i agree with the poster above, black men with dreads/other "natural" hairstyles and white women irritates me more than anything in the world. like malik from the most recent real world season in NY. malik had the biggest fro, wore bob marley t-shirts and was a hip hop guru. but he only dated white women. its like he loved EVERYTHING about black culture- except its women:/

i just think we have all been brainwashed. the media promotes light skin, long hair and delicate facial features as the epitome of female beauty. black men aren't the only ones who have been swayed by these images, black women too are known to fawn over "good hair", light skin, etc. etc...

i do think that we should be free to date whoever we want, race shoudln't matter. but when one group dates another race out of some form of self-hatred, THAT's a problem. i am totally open to dating a non-black man, but i kind of feel forced to do this- black men are definitely my preference. but since many (NOT all) of the brothers i know mainly date white women, i'm more likely to die old and lonely if i limit myself to dating a black man!

*sidenote*: since it seems that the black men love white women and all the white guys love asian women (at least in my city), asian men and black women should just get together and call it a day, lol.

Mad Bull said...

I love the comment by lady in purple.... Mix up that $hit, yo! In the end, all the likkle mixup brown ppl (like myself) will rule the earth!
Wheeee!

Good post, Jdid!

Mad Bull said...

Oh yeah, BTW, I not dating anybody who not giving me head! Now I'm not saying that if you're willing to give me head, I'm gonna date you, but if you naw go bow, it not gwine to work. Some black women prefer not to give head, I have experienced that myself! Me never linger!
I have bucked up a white girl who refused to give head too! I don't know why, as I didn't hang around long enough to find out! ;-)

Chele said...

CTHU!!! @ OJ

You guys got me cracking UP. But this is ain't funny. It's pretty stupid. I prefer black men but if other folks want to date interracially, I say do what you do, dirty.

It really used to piss me off, until I got over myself. Especially after it happened to me. Mother-in-law complained about my husband marrying a "white" woman. *rolling eyes* All that lip from a black woman with gray eyes *rolling em some more* Like I said, just do what you do.

Jdid said...

much respect to all those who left comments. 44 comments, i feel like i won the lotto

@ruben - it is stupid
@mizjj - could it be love :-)
@angry dog - paris i the quintessential white girl, i couldnt do the blog without her
@mr righteous - funny story
@camp - lol
@luke - i'm curious as to what your friend told you
@Dr D - true true
@shotta - yep
@abeni - i'm with ya but its just more fun to look at it this way
@shellyP - thanks
@brotherbuck - ha ha ha
@livingsingle - thanks
@Princess D - he did, thats the one thing i know is that he dated mariah
@scratchie - if it wasnt color we'd find something else to get upset about
@dorna - whoa, sounds scary
@x - ha ha ha
@ms blaize - see i knew i couldnt be the only one who thought Jeter wasnt black
khalli88 - why is it that we have this mindset that when we make it we get a white girl though
@sunshine - lol thanks
@butta - sorry to hear about your becky predicament
@god's child - really lol
@amadeo - lol
@slow met - but arent dudes allowed preferences
@radmila - without going into a major blog here i think the issues start when we look at people as groups or stereotypes and not individuals.
@echo - yep, you go with your attractions
@star - ha ha ha, oh really now
@natty - amen!
@marlo - thats so true
@courtney - good for you
@n.y.a.g.b - ok
@white girl - alrighty then
@bb - just using paris as a metaphor and yea about the becky name lol
@stunner - true
@titilayo - thanks
@brooklyn babe - agreed
@lady_in_purple - i think you just have to accept that everyone has their own preference. we may or may not like it but thats how it goes
@mad bull - lol whats this i hearing hey i thought jamaican men werent into this bowing thing lol
@chele - agreed girl, agreed

Count said...

That's some real shit. Sistas do get mad as hell. Even though I think most of em are natural haters when it comes to other women, they get pissed about the white girl thang. I got that look though ... the "don't say shit to me" glare that keeps em off my back.

4panist said...

ok, its taken me a while to post, its just cause I'm trying not to be the first person to admit that...I could have sent that mail! now its tough to explain. growing in in scarberia/scarlem/Farborough has led me to feel comfortable with both my white and black female friends. but when it comes to going out with a brother, my sensitivity falls out the window and I can't help but think..another one bites the dust. My only disclaimer is that if he is real busted, then I don't really care. But if he is average, hot, or looking like he is going places...man that makes me VEX!! Can't explain it, only admit it.

obifromsouthlondon said...

Always a deep, divisive issue. over here in the UK it aint such a big deal. though you could get killed for it. Got a few white girl friends and don't look upon the issue hard. My girlie's mum is white and race has sorta become secondary. But I still pull knives and guns when I see a sister with hunger for kiss up with white man. I'm just a hypocrite anyway.

Jeter behave man.

Chubby Chocolate said...

I couldn't resist. I had to comment on this. It used to piss me off but then I realized that there are black men who date whomever (black, white, yellow, pink, green, etc...) and then there's the Black man who SOLELY dates white women. That particular type of Black man (or Black woman) are ones that piss me off-But only because they have some level of self-hate, not because they are dating white women. White women can have that pool of men, because they aren't worth much anywho...Ok I'm stepping down from my soapbox.

Congrats on the new bun in the oven.

Anonymous said...

If a black man who is well educated dates exclusively white women, is he any good to a black woman anyway? Nope. Some black people speak of the need to love each other, but I just don't see it. And I cannot, and will not continue to uplift the black man and proclaim my love for him any longer. I personally do not see the point. How is it that I am only 19 years old and am seeing the same thing older black women are talking about? It's truly sad what goes on in the world these days. I am not saying it bothers me to the point of where I can't control myself in a civil manner. What bothers me is that it seems alot of people are lusting for skin color, and not recognizing a person for a person. I think in years to come, the problem will only get worse.

Will I date outside my race because of my chances being less likely to date or even marry a black man? No. I have my reasons, and I'd rather be alone then be with someone who isn't from my race. White women seem to jump for joy that they have a black man they can come home to. They seem to feel the need to let everyone know that they are married to a black man also, especially online *coughiwonttypeanynamesherecough*. Point is, I never chose my skin color. The man upstairs made me, and since I was created to be a black woman I was already hated since birth.

I always wonder what would white women and some white men do then if there was no more black people around. If we all seemed to just vanish into thin air. Would they be forced to date each other or just die alone? Who knows, but if that white woman woke up the next morning a black woman, would her black husband or boyfriend still love her? Would he still stay? Or would he drop her ass and go running after the next white chick that supposedly gave him "the time of day"?

Final word to the sistas, love yourself and just live your life. Remember that you are beautiful just the way you are. If God wanted you to be white, he would have made you white. Black is beautiful and never let anyone tell you it is not. No matter what choice you make in life my sistas, just makes sure that choice brings you happiness. Much love to the sistas. Peace.

Anonymous said...

Well i'm white and we can't help that black men likes us,some white women don't like black men,and some white women an't easy,its just the same as black women,everybody has their own unique personiality.So date whoever you want to and don't care what everybody says

Anonymous said...

Since the white man owns everything.......and since most brothers are broke and unemployed.....If a brother wants to hook up with a white girl that is fine and dandy. She should have her daddy hook him up with a job.

chris said...

I am soooooooooo tired of black men and white women thinking that black women care when black men and white women are dating. NEWS FLASH: majority of us DON'T care. why should we? when i see a white woman with a black man i don't feel like "oh no she got a good one". I don't know if she got a good one and she probably doesn't know either. white women think they have a leg up on us sistas because they all feel we are hatin on them because they have black men. some white women even feel they are better because their black man choose them over a sista. black men and women who are dating : get over yourselves. not all sistas care.

'ka said...

a GREAT post!!!
i can't speak much about this.. since i'm not white. but i DO know about the 'looks' given 'cuz i experienced it couple times.

i date with whoever. colors are not important at all. the heart and mind are the most important ones

foxylady said...

Lots of people become offended by issues that don't concern them. This is one of them. I've never understood folks who throw fits because they see a black guy/white girl or white guy/black girl. Seriously...it isn't your relationship, therefore it shouldn't be a personal problem in your life. My philosophy is mind your own business and it won't be a problem. Stop trying to analyze the reasons that this person is with that person. Stop judging people. If you have found a person worthy of loving, who loves you, then that is what matters...not whether they're black, white, blue, etc.

People tend to stereotype and make blanket statements about others, with very little knowledge or understanding. When I hear black people make comments to the effect of ALL white women being slutty, it never fails to piss me off because I am a white woman and I wouldn't call myself a slut. While there are white women who are "loose" and "slutty", that doesn't apply to all. Slutty women come in all colors.

I've been in love with a black guy since childhood. We were married in 2004. I've been out with him in public and while black men have noticed that we're an interracial couple, they haven't been hostile. Most black women we've encountered, however, definitely DO have problems with this. I've felt them looking at me, I've heard the comments, and I've been called a "white bitch" more than once. A black salesclerk threw herself at my husband in front of me and pretended like I wasn't there, until she looked me over then rolled her eyes at me. I could've slapped her, lol! I don't know whether it's because I'm white or because I happen to be a fairly attractive woman...in my experience, most women no matter what race dislike those who carry themselves well.

Who people date/marry is entirely up to them. It is about the individual's feelings. I know that there are white women who like black men because of the stereotypical size myths and there are black men who believe white women are all wealthy, submissive types...these myths should be dispelled because they are stereotypes. It should be about LOVE and RESPECT, not SEX and COLOR.

Anonymous said...

I don't see why anyone should be upset with black men dating white girls.It simply means that more black kids will be brought into the world and subsequently, the black race will no longer be a minority in the U.S.In fact if the white race does not do something about it, they will end up being the minority hehehe

Anonymous said...

Well, I ran across this blog by accident. Or not.

Who knows who sent the hate mail? I would be less likely to believe it was a disgruntled black woman than a disgruntled white supremacist male or female. It's kinda difficult for me to envision the disgruntled black woman sending a threatening letter to Jeter, when I really don't think he would be the non-white poster boy for "white girl" fever.

In that same vein, what this blog reminds me of is the tendency that this society has (has always had) to scapegoat the "underdog" (and I don't use that term disparagingly).

Let me first remind everyone here that the ratio of male to female within the black population is something like 1:10 and widening. This being the case, it would make sense for black women to date outside of their race by necessity, lest they either grow old alone or continuously pass men back & forth and around.

It's kinda sad when you think about it, because what seems to be the logical response to the disparity is actually not the evidenced response. The reverse is the case. Far more black men date outside the race (overwhelmingly choosing white women) than do black women. Black women are largely race/culture-loyal. They want black men, and think it important to stick with black men, which is understandable if that is what they best relate with.

Someone else mentioned that there is no crisis among whites (male or female). Well, there is certainly no dating or marriage crisis among white women, except perhaps their divorce rate (slightly less than and equal to 50%), which has been pretty consistent over the last couple of decades, regardless of their spouse's race.

To pretend that our society does not and has not historically worked to condition us that white women epitomize beauty, goodness and femininity and black women epitomize extremes such as undesirability and sexlessness or the tasteless seductress or Jezebel (rap videos, Monster's Ball, etc.) is to betray glaring denial.

Honestly, some interracial dating has to do with mutual true love and appreciation for the opposite-race mate. But it can not be love when a strong appreciation for the women of one's own race/genetic culture is absent or lacking. Within a culture (American culture) that is clearly racist/white supremacist against primarily black people, secondarily Chicanos & Native/Indigenous, and also any other non-whites, most people see and either appraise or devalue people based on their skin color and even their hair texture. Don't dare try and deny it, because it is built into ALL OF OUR socialization process from the cradle to the grave, and always has been. We are ALL indoctrinated to hold "whiteness" as being next to Godliness, and the hierarchical structure finds the darkest at the bottom. Actual and factual.

For this reason, white skin privilege and preference is given to all people with little pigmentation, in ALL AREAS OF LIFE or people activity (ESPECIALLY given to white women by men of ALL RACES in the area of sex/intimacy), and even light-complected black and Chicano women are judged on a hue scale by (especially men) and by other women as well.

Examples of black beauty given earlier by a black male poster/blogger were Halle Berry (1/2 white), Beyonce (a victim of serious "Hollywierd whitening", including the white-Barbie-wannabe fake hair) and Janet Jackson (nose-narrowing plastic surgery job, lots of de-coarsening & artificial lengthening to the hair). Epitome of black ugliness given was Whoopi Goldberg (deep hue, natural hair--naturally coarse, no whitening, little to no makeup).

These are the images and messages that are sent around the nation and world, and what it comes to is not that people are open-minded and that is a beautiful thing, but that people are selectively open- and closed-minded, especially when it comes to how they want to relate intimately. What it comes to is that black males in general have little to no respect for or defense for black women (actually, no one does, and many black males instead attack and degrade black women), because those same black males TRY not to be identified by race; they aspire toward racelessness (maybe that will keep white people from viewing them as inferior? Hardly.). See also: Step'n Fetchit (sp?).

It looks like a gradual self-extermination, which is arguably a mostly subconscious attempt at destroying all cultural indicators (physical indicators especially) which have historically caused so much hatred and hardship for the self-exterminator. Try Carter G. Woodson's "The Education of the Negro" and "The Miseducation of the Negro," and Franz Fanon's "The Wretched of the Earth." Tremendously eye-opening Social Science texts.

Anonymous said...

Just to add to the above, this white-girl-crazed black men thing is not unique to black men. Chicano men are starting to do the same thing.

All of us (especially all of our men) have been conditioned this way. Not only this, but black men also in large part have a preference for ANY women who either don't remind them of their own blackness (help them to distance themselves from it), or they prefer women who are pathologically turned on by their blackness (overcompensating by knotting/locking their hair & such)--it's just that the white female is at the extreme end of that spectrum of women. Open your eyes and look at the TREND. Love is not trendy.

Believe me. LOTS of Black men go mad all day every day over non-Black skin tone and straighter hair texture (hyperflattered if a woman with such characteristics notices them at all) not over the person as a human being or any feelings of true love. I am daily living proof no matter where I go. It's just that unlike most women, my eyes are open. But usually it becomes clear after you've dated a few black men (or gotten lots of comments from them) who behave and speak the same ways (against Black women, and as if you are some object/trophy that gives them their self-esteem or validation).

I know it's tough for Black and Chicano women, who would prefer to keep their own culture unified and going strong (extant even), though we can respect other cultures. But the way the trend is going, it looks like we are gradually being forced to betray our own gene pools in the name of not being left by the wayside.

I'm all for racial harmony and loving people regardless of what's on the outside. But this thing we have now is so transparent and artificial that it would be laughable if it weren't so twisted and thoughtless and mocking. It's like jump on the liberal/multicultural/interracial bandwagon with your ulterior "issues."

A lot of white women seem to think they have the upper hand, and enjoy throwing it in other (especially Black) women's faces. But no one has the upper hand except men who see that the whole world of women is open, and theirs for the taking, and they don't have to restrict themselves or be loyal in ANY way, not even to their own wives. You give them not a field "day," but a field "life." And contrary to what you may think, it's not even for you or your honor. It's all about them.

Men of color should stop being duped into seeing beauty, worth and other human values on a color scale (skewed to the oppoite extreme from themselves). I'll be convinced that they've stopped once I see that the mania in dating TRENDS based on color opposites has stopped.

loomis simmons said...

ooo wwweee i love me some white girls... they just so juicy

Anonymous said...

well.... If she's looking for decent men in the club then she is shit out of luck. The decent men in the club are clubbing with their spouses, and the singles in the club are either having fun, or are the deadbeast, but then again being a black male myself. I had a tough time finding a black female with high self esteem within the University setting. It was hard to find a black woman that didn't look over me and looked at the thug. I'm sorry to tell you this, but women tend to over look the decent ones, and head towards the losers in a failed attempt to change them.

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