Saturday, April 01, 2006

Pimping aint easy!

Been pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin
Mike Epps as Baby Powder in How High

Image hosting by Photobucket"Its hard out there for a pimp." I cant even blame Terrence Howard or 3-6 Mafia for this one cause that would be ludicrous or maybe rather Ludacris since he's pimping all over the world. Word to Bobby Valentino son!

The news story reads about a young man in my native Barbados who when brought before the judge on charges proudly said he was a pimp. According to the story "Bursting with excitement, Jason exclaims that he was born to be a pimp." "I grow up in this thing," he says. And so as he provides protection for working girls plying their trade he waxes eloquently on his profession. Its just always so nice to see someone having that type of enthusiasm he has for his job isn't it? Go read the story from the link above.

He's been pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin. Maybe he's just trying to get his 50 Cents. I don't know what you heard about me ............ but I'm a bleep bleep P.I.M.P!

GGGGGGGGGG-G-U-not really a pimp or maybe he is.


Image hosting by PhotobucketWhy cant I be a pimp?

From Iceberg Slim to Youngblood Priest to Flyguy to Dolomite to Powder to Bishop Magic Don Juan to Djay (Terrence Howard in Hustle n Flow) pimping has been on the radar for years. Pimping even made the Oscars ths year with 3-6 mafia winning best movie song. Pimping its been glorified, vilified, amplified, and now it seems like the pimps these days they even be testified. CHUUUURCH!

Pimpin aint easy (according to Big Daddy Kane) you gotta get that dirt off your shoulder homie and keep your pimp hand strong. Why? You dare to ask why? You betta back up offa me before I gotta lay down my pimp hand! I keeps my pimp hand strong! Word to big bird son! I'm saying! Actually umm just for clarification is the pimp hand the right or the left hand cause frankly I'm a bit confused here? Is there also a non-pimp hand and do we need to keep that one strong as well? Bah whatever like I was saying I keeps my pimp hand strong son! Recognize!

Of course just to indulge your question for a minute, one main reason for keeping one's pimp hand strong is rather simple. Those jeweled pimp cups are soooo heavy! What does one of those things weight 20-25 lbs minimum? Pimps be having to do bicep curls in order to lift that stuff and still look fly. Wait does anyone still use the word fly anymore?

Wait a second here's a sure fire money making idea. Stay with me stay with me. Weight training for pimps - the DVD. Just let it marinate for a few. Now tell me that aint a good idea? Pack on the muscle so you can keep the pimp hand strong. Build those traps and delts so you can wear your bling bling without O.G ing (thats over gold and is a joke from I'm going to get you sucka where homeboy died because he wore too much gold) or is O.P ing these days. Over Platinum. Featuring 20 different all new exercises you can do with the pimp cup and the cane. For $19.99 we'll even through in some fake bling so you can look like a pimp without paying pimp prices. Its a special one time offer. Yea sounds like a plan so I'm looking for investors. Anyone want to put in some money?

Chuuuurch! By the way I have no idea what that word means but on BET pimps seem to say it quite a bit so it must be important and I'm just saying it to add to my authenticity. Pimp Idea number 2: Pimping for dummies! G's up ho's down, talk like a pimp walk like a pimp, tips on how to keep you pimp hand strong and your pimp game tight.

"We be Big Pimping spending the cheese, Big pimping up in NYC!" JAy Z's a pimp, Snoop Dog's a pimp, David Banner did it Like a pimp, Pimp C well hey his name is starts with so what do you expect. Pimping rides, pimping houses , hmmm maybe we should even pimp my blog. Hey, hold on one minute, watch out now if you touch my blog without my permission I'm a have to lay down my pimp hand and maybe even a pimp foot or two.


But on a serious note Pimping is indeed big business or as KRS-ONE would tell you rather simply we all live in a pimp and ho society. Either you are being pimped or you are the pimp. Wait I'm having another idea here, hold on its coming to me. America's Next Top Pimp. Maybe we can even tie it in with Top Model somehow. "Tyra girl you best to be having my money up in here, homie don't play dat. I know I shouldnt have left Nigel in charge. Damn." Yea I'm seeing dollar signs from that endeavour. What's wrong? If the post is about pimping I gotta keep my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Don't I?

Of course as you can probably tell by now there is no point to this blog but to say the word pimp as many times as possible. Breathe ........pimp pimp pimp pimp pimp pimp pimp. Exhale breath.......pimp pimp pimp pimp.

Hey maybe by blogging about pimping it will get my site more hits or since it is pimp related perhaps more b**** slaps. ha ha ha or should that be ho ho ho ......hold on I meant that like Santa does cause hey seriously Santa is clearly the all time reigning Pimp of the year. Don't let those pretenders fool you Santa is the man. I mean come on who else can carry a a bright red suit and a hat with a ball on it like Santa, and don't buy into that elves making gifts at the North Pole jive. You think Elves got the technical knowhow to make Nintendo and gameboy? Naa Santa pimps the elves (he's got the hottest elves in the game wearing his chain), and takes the money and buys the gifts. Santa got the North Pole on lock and his pimp hand is strong! Plus tell me the truth is flying reindeer not like the flyest ride out there. I mean hey Cadillac or flying reindeer I'm choosing reindeer everytime cause whatever reindeer eat got to be cheaper than gas these days.

Ok enough of this I need to go get me a cane, a lime green suit and matching hat, a fur, some platform shoes with fish in the soles, some bling, but not too much I don't want to O.G (Over Gold like in I'm gonna get you sucka) and a pimp cup. Oh right I'll need some girls too hmmmm. Bah I'm thinking E-bay should cover everything.

And remember vote Big daddy J-diddy (thats my new pimp id) for pimp of the year cause I keeps my pimp hand strong! What! Ok! Yeahhhhhh!


Ri said...

I hear you daddy, you have baby and now you wanna be pimpin.

obifromsouthlondon said...

funny just listened to common's 6th sense and at the end he's got that pimp skit. hilarious.

seems no one wants to be a thug no more. so '05. now everyone wants to be a pimp.

4panist said...

Yes the pimp thing is out of control. the word has been so normalized that you don't even think about the profession behind the least I often forget.

princessdominique said...

Pimpin' is RIDICULOUS! These babes don't know a thing about it and they are just perpetrating the ignorance!

Lambchop said...

LOL! Big daddy J-diddy, you got me dying over here!!

"Weight training for pimps - Featuring 20 different all new exercises you can do with the pimp cup and the cane."

That's hilarious! Put me down for 25%. You might be able to convince the other songbirds to cover the other shares so we can get this thing off the ground!


Stunner said...

Everybody seems to want to be a pimp!

tianne_x said...

i read the article in the newspaper this weekend as well......the guy looks more like a wanna-be pimp than anything......he is so young and frail-looking...i can't believe that he actually does that stuff.....and he is proud of it too......i jus hope lil kids dont go reading that nonsense saying they want to be pimps too

Slow Metamorphosis said...

You are a trip.

Amadeo said...

That's a wild boy...

Honest said...

Hilarious! Pimping ain't easey fo sho'