Boy big people duz unfair little children. I remember as a child being always told things like "why you in such a rush to grow up for?" and "school days is the sweetest days ya know" or "the youth is wasted on the youth". Rubbish all rubbish, well maybe not that last one. It was all a concerted effort to brainwash you as a child into thinking it could get no better.
Y a know why it is rubbish? Is rubbish cause when you are a child ya duz get unfair, taken advantage of. That thought came into my head today when the misses drape the chile in a bright orange pumpkin outfit to go off to daycare. Cuhdear! Poor chile ain't had no say in it cause he mudda think he look cute.
And then it all came flooding back to me. The hundreds of times that my parents unfaired me as a chile making me wear all sorts of so-called cute outfits which had me infinitely embarrassed and probably added to all the issues that I now have as an adult.
Two particular items of clothing stand out in my memory. The first is a pair of shoes. My brother over in the states sent me these shoes; brown suede with these translucent, almost see-through, honey brown plastic soles look like somebody stick a piece of amber onto the bottom of the shoe. What can I say it was the late 70s and maybe these things were in style somewhere or maybe he got them from 'pimps r us' or something but I really really disliked these shoes. My mom on the other hand thought they were just 'darling' and wanted me to wear them at every turn.
Now back then you know as a growing child ya didn't have no big set a shoes so for school I had a main set of typical black leather shoes that I would wear to the bone until it was time to get a new pair. If something happened to those shoes they would get sent to the shoemaker who would hammer a few nails in the heel or repair the sole. If you couldn't get the shoes fixed then the back up shoes were the same brown suede pair I mention originally cause school in Barbados was like a posh club up here in Toronto; no runners. Dare you wear that pair of Chucks or Kangaroos (raise your hand if you old enough to remember Kangaroos) to school. They would send you back home.
So sadly when my black leather shoes were in need of repair or replacement I would be forced to wear these pimp of the year shoes to school. Now to be honest looking back the shoes weren't that bad. In fact now I'm pretty sure they weren't that noticeable but back then when I was forced to wear them it felt as if someone was pointing a spotlight at my feet and everyone was looking and secretly snickering behind my back. These shoes had me so self conscious. Days when I wore them were the slowest days to ever pass by, it was as if time was on lunch break holding a two hour lime in front a Cave Shepperd and just wasn't feeling to work those days.
It would even affect my actions. I would go out of my way to try and disappear on those days. It was one of those get me out of here, Scottie one to beam up type day. I hated these shoes.
Man, the day that those things no longer fit my feet was one of the happiest days of my life.
Anyway I wont even mention the other piece of clothing that I hated. All I will say is this whole childhood is the best time of life thing should come with some fine-print about how parents duz tek advantage of ya and ya duz be living under a tyrannical regime.
Still what can ya do? I am a parent now so I guess I might as well get mine back and get in on the unfairing my children part. Hmmm I wonder where I can find a pair of pimp of the year shoes for this yout.