Monday, February 07, 2011

Spies like us


Canadian spies are being warned not to wear their loyalty on their sleeve — or their wrist or lapel.
The hush-hush reminder to employees of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service advises keeping polo shirts, watches and pins emblazoned with the distinctive CSIS crest away from curious eyes.
The items are sold in a secret shop tucked away on the lower level of CSIS headquarters in Ottawa, and made available to employees posted elsewhere through the agency’s online memorabilia catalogue.

 For real? I mean I was hoping April Fools come early but alas the story seems true. So no wonder Americans make jokes of Canadians.

Ya think the CIA or Mossad or the KGB have a special store where you can buy their memorabilia? Ya think ya going see a Mossad spy on the street wid a shirt saying Mossad? or a CIA fella wid cufflinks or a blazer saying we destabilize and undermine your country?

No. Neva happen.

But wait these Canadian people really know the meaning to the word secret or spy? Cause I reading this thing and having visions of Agent 99 from Get Smart and Leslie Neilson in Spy Hard. Bumbling secret agents who mess things up all the time. Lawd is a miracle we aint get invade yet or all we secrets aint get expose to the world if these is the sorta people we have in our the intelligence agencies.And don't get me started on that word intelligence at all.

But seriously people you are spies. You are supposed to be discrete, in fact discretion is of the utmost importance or rather is invaluable in your field. Ya cant be a spy or work for a spy agency if ya cant be discrete. Nuh blabber mout spy aint lasting long in the field of espionage so how you going wear stuff to give away your secret identity so? That is like Spider Man wearing his webshooter as jewellery when he out casual an ting. Discretion people, secret service... emphasis on secret. Spy, hide, dont be seen.

But tell me something, dont we have basic training for people in these organizations that tells employees these things? Like amm skipper, amm boss man, ya cant do that, we is spies. If ya do that again we going get rid a you. Something so.

I mean they train them to resist interrogation so that they wont tell the bad guys who they work for when being tortured but that is a waste a money if when the bad guys go through your pockets they find your CSIS pen or CSIS key chain.  
And I mean I know we aint have much money for spying in this country but ya mean we have to raise funds by selling CSIS gear? Things that dire? Situation so brown? Whats next CSIS bake sales or agents going door to door selling CSIS cookies?


Guyana-Gyal said...

You sure that is a real article in a real newspaper? That one puzzle me baaaad.

If is true, I imagine all the spies who buy the stuff must feel real important and ting.

De tings we need to puff up weself.

Crankyputz said...

someone is seriously monetizing their blog.......

this one had me laughing....the warning is so canadian