Wednesday, July 26, 2017


Found this paragraph written but never posted from two years back and I think it relates to this story
(I had promised to keep this to myself cause complaining seems pointless (but this really isnt a complaint), plus as a Bajan at home pointed out to me we 'foreigners' doan know how things duz work in Barbados and duz come wid we foreign thoughts and new-fangled ideas and wanta get vex bout things in Bim when we not actually contributing to Bajan society or in other words 'grin and bear um' or 'shut up and put up'.)

Anyway with that off my chest...........

looka dese wufliss Bajan people doah!

Comin back to dat in a bit.

As a immigrant, living ova in away, wunna know how hard um is to do business wid anyone back in Barbados? Lawd avest mercy!! Dem people down deyso got a knack of mekkin every iota difficult ya hear! An den dey duz complain dat overseas Bajans wun invest and give back to de country.

Ah know wunna gine tell me I been in Canada too long and I get Canadian-ish an faget how we duz do things home and I shud keep quiet (see first paragraph). Well I do know and I don't expect tings home to be like up hayso but cuhdear sometimes wunna duz mek simple tings too too hard ya.

Exhibit A: Consider something seemingly as simple as opening a bank account.

In Toronto, I can walk into a bank wid my lil deposit, my i.d and social insurance number and maybe they may ask for a letter from muh workplace if dey malicious, an in two twos I got three accounts, overdraft protection. a bank card, a line a credit, 6 credit cards, 2 mortgage offers, a toaster, two iPads and the bank manager home number. Thanks Bob, pleasure doing business!

In Bim, well...............

So in 2015, I needed to get a bank account in Barbados. So after gathering what I thought would be sufficient documents to get the deed done I stroll into a bank branch only to be told by de teller "ammm big man you need such and such a form signed in triplicate, such an such extra i.d, a blood test, character witnesses and three people that was present at ya christening."

Not only that but the teller did look like she did ready to jump ova de counter an gi muh two belly searchers cause I ask a lil question about why one particular document was necessary if ya had Bajan i.d already.  lawd avest mercy de look an de tone she adapt afta mi question man I did frighten she did gine hurt muh fa true.

Anyways I is a big man so I will tek de full blame fa dat. My bad! I had opened an account before and just assumed the process hadn't changed but I shoulda ask somebody what the process was beforehand and not assume an presume that I would have all the documentation. Fine that one on me but in all fairness ah did grieving muh mudda death so muh head din on de right way.

Alright! So then I had to wait til I come back down this year to get the thing sort out. Now, I smarten up so a few months prior to the trip  I asked someone in Bim about the required documentation and then proceeded to get a letter from work, the right i.d, a letter from my bank in Canada saying Jdid aint nuh crook as far as we know an he doan owe we nuh money plus signed a whole buncha odda documents and I did set.

Or so I thought...........................

And so I come down now and confidently I stride into de people bank to get sorted out. First branch I gone into. Nuhbody aint at the front an people waiting in line an chupsing an ting an I stan up dey fa 20 minutes or more widout anyone being able to answer my questions and I aint see nuttin happening an so ah leff. Plenty banks on the island wid numerous branches right?

Alright! Still confident I went now to anudda bank, this wun up Six Roads in St Farup cause ah was up that side (this is important to the story people so pay attention). Walk confidently into the bank pelt down the bag a documents I walk wid and wid a commanding voice declare 'skippa! I here to open a bank account wid dese one one coppers an in case I got to do business down hayso anytime. So looka here is all the paperwork in triplicate, de Canadian bank letter to say I not a crook, a job letter saying I duz wuk, a blood sample to prove iza not a Trini, an see dis fella dat wid me well he is de priest dat christen muh. so bram sort me out buddy!"

And I did feeling special ya! Like a boss!! All my paperwork good, de letters dem ask for dey, nuttin can stop me now! Muh chest puff out an muh head big like wha!

An then the bank person looked at me calmly an said 'oh but ya need an appointment to set up a new account ya, come back in on Thursday afternoon at 1:30pm . Oh and we change the forms last week so fill out these 6 more in triplicate and bring long DNA results and two pictures from when ya was in short pants in primary school" ...........or so it seemed.

And so deflated I tek my big bag a documents, an de resta new forms an went long back home til the Thursday.

And when the Thursday come now and I fill out the resta forms in triplicate and ready now I get in the bank and tell dem alright I come back an I good to go, is 1:30 an I got an appointment wid Mr So n So. And all duh tell me is guh deyso an wait.....

And then ah had to wait anudda half hour.


But don't worry. Good news cause it was smooth sailing after that and I had my account done quickly and professionally by Mr So n So and even though it took 2 trips to Bim and 4 visits to the bank to get sorted I was sorta happy.

All's well that ends well!  I had my account and at a branch convenient to me and I did set!

Yea I did set and good til this morning when I find out duh close the Six Roads branch so now duh gine move my account downtown.

So after all muh hard work to get a bank account close and convenient to muh when ah home dem up an gine move muh account to Bridgetown

"But looka dese wufliss bajan people doah! "......................................

But ah cant complain at least dem aint close de account an mek muh start over from scratch

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