Monday, March 20, 2006

muttering

Back in the day when I was young I'm not a kid anymore but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again.

You realize you're getting old when you link up with someone and realize oh man its been 15 almost 16 years since last I saw you ........yet it really doesnt seem that long. Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slippery son of a, that time. Oh yea he waits for no man too.

But really 15 and a half years thats like a lifetime when I think about it yet it still seems sort of fresh like yesterday. Perostrokia, Mandela's release, the fall of the Berlin Wall and the first Gulf War are still fresh in my mind too and they were about 15 and a half years ago but hell I remember Lech Walesa and Solidarity, the Falklands war when HMS Sheffield got sunk by French made Exocet missiles and West Indies cricket when we were good so what does that say about me. Either good memory or I'm old.

Well whatever, I'm not one to complain, I actually dig the grey in my hair, life is about getting older. The minute you stop getting older is the minute you die. Its just life. Life and Time, time and life, time life, time for life, time to get a life even. Time just ticking just tocking. Ya dont stop!

15 years though. Thats even B.C. Before Canada, before I left home, before I started to roam, before I lost my dome, before I wrote poems before ...... before, before life got complicated, I got frustrated filled with hatred , before I lost my way, before I became Jdid.

And yo things change now unno see sey life hard. 15 years is a long time. Computer revolutions, dot coms, internets, ipods, dvds, SARs, 9/11, fab fives, wu tang clan, biggie-tupac, jay z, laffy friggin taffy. What the!

Why is it that everything and everyone I remember seems so much smaller when I see them again after a few years. Is it that I've gotten bigger, think I've gotten bigger or just keep memories that are larger than life? Back to life, like Soul II Soul, life its for the living, its what you make it, it sucks sometimes, it runs hand in hand with that time dude. Life and Time, time and life, twice in a lifetime, life lines , in life's prime, life's fine sometimes, life of mine.

Time. Its been 15 years since I last saw you, 3 years since I've been home, 8 years since I've been to the US, countless eons or so it seems since I've been in Canada, 6 years since marriage, 9 years since university, 7 years since sitting to watch my last live test match, 1 year since my last hip hop concert, 3 years since my last Raptors game, 8 - 9 years since I last played basketball, 5 years since I've last been east, 9 years since my last grandparent died, 8 years since I died, 8 years since I've last cried, 14 years since I last felt like I knew what I was doing.

In this illusion, I'm dis-illusioned, its this confusing, is this amusing?

15 years like whoa thats a long time still, you've mellowed ...alot but it was good to see you again.

14 comments:

Campfyah said...

So wha happening Jdid, Yuh coming up pun a big B-day and gettin Jdid tuh de realites ah getting older?

Yes, time flies by and waits for no man/woman so we gotta make use of it and use it wisely. Live life.

Ravenbajan said...

Hey JDid, Have you been hanging out in my head today?!

My daughter (who is 3), has a new favourite phrase. "But Mommy, that was 20 years ago!!". She's been using it with everything and she said it to me again today at lunch. It got me thinking about the real 20 years ago, back when I was 11. Time really does fly. It's kind of sad. Makes you wonder where or who you'll be in another 15-20 years. Enjoy and love today. The past we cannot change and the future is always uncertain.

princessdominique said...

yeah you know you're getting up there when you start seeing people you went to school with and can barely remember them, that's where I'm at.

the damn boy said...

Very good post. Funny enough you said maybe it's a good memory or you just getting older. Put it this way, for me: Who is Perostrokia?? Lech-Who? Did you say solidarity, or Solitaire? Guess time can be a gem or a bitch. Because, at times you wish you had more of it...others you wish it would pass quickly. Madonna said 'Time goes by, so slowly'. Is true. It flies especially when you're having fun. Or as Kermit would say, "It's fun when you're having flies." Hmm...

bitchdoctrine said...

great post. you excel at this writing shit, plus i love when you slip in those song references...

Deelze said...

You ain't saying nothing but a word!!

Time does go by fast and if ya blink you will miss it!!

Dayum you got me thinking now about all the time gone by.....WOW!

~Smooches~

Miz JJ said...

Time is flying. In no time JDid jr will be off to college. Lol. You got plenty of time before that happens, but it does go fast. Enjoy it.

Honest said...

Time waits for no one and I have to remind myself that ALL the time. lol! Great Post.

nahmix said...

I love that Ahmad song. It makes me so nostalgic! Great post!

Ananse's Web said...

This is a great post. I feel like Time is flying by too. This year is my 10 year high school reunion....when did that happen.

Abeni said...

yup time is really flying.met my High School Headmistress and was distressed that she looked like an old lady.

Unknown said...

Yeah, I've realised time is flying fast for me too.

Waddie G. said...

look how time flies by and all the stuff we do in between.

neena maiya (guyana gyal) said...

Speaking of age:

I was telling my mother about a Russian woman I saw on tv [when we had a tv].

She was 90 years old, an artist, making pottery that sold in Macy and other big NY stores.

The interviewer asked her what's next?

She said, "Well, I have to plan for my future."

And how about the 90-something year old ex-slave in the US who learnt to read and write at 90-something, then wrote a book about his life?