da code

"A very wise British priest noted recently in the press, ‘Christian theology has survived the writings of Galileo and the writings of Darwin; surely, it will survive the writings of some novelist from New Hampshire.’"

Novelist Dan Brown author of The Da Vinci Code

I'm still trying to understand all the hoopla over the The Da Vinci Code.

Dan Brown's book is an international best seller, probably one of the only books in this fast paced era, where less and less reading is done (upcoming blog topic), to make a big profit, and it is about to make its debut in movie form any day now and its still as controversial now as it was when it was first released three plus years ago.

But why?

To be honest I hadnt intended to read it at first. From its debut, it just seemed like it was getting way too much hype and for me hype is usually equivalent to a disappointing output so I said naa I'll wait till the movie comes out.

But then I just couldnt escape the hype and the controversy. At work, at church, in social gatherings, on the subway, everywhere I went I was either privy to conversations on the book or saw somebody reading it. Bookstores had giant displays, Amazon.ca was selling it at discount prices, and folks were asking me left, right and centre whether I had read it.

And as much as I wanted to be in the know and wax poetically on its contents I resisted though. Yep just thought it was going to be watered down and I would be bored somewhat and figure it out in 20 minutes as I do most mysteries. Then I heard a comment that changed my perception.

Someone I knew said that the book had made them question their faith.

Whoa! Hold up son? What was that? I think I misheard you. Question your faith?

Ok now, my curiousity was piqued. Lead me to the nearest bookstore. I gots to read this ish.

And so I did.

I'll be honest in that it was better than I thought it would be. The storyline is fast paced and rather exciting even if the writing itself isnt the best prose. My thoughts on finishing it were 'That would make a great movie' just because of the pace with which it moves and the twists that are introduced throughout the book. Mind you the end seems somewhat like many of my blogs ie; the author ran out of steam.

But even though the book is based on a twisting of religious details to make them seem realistic never once did this book come close to making me question my faith.

Why? Because I recognized that the book is FICTION. Its a good yarn but still its fiction and if I dont believe that Star Trek is real or Ghost Busters is real why should I believe that the Da Vinci Code is?

Thats why when I go to church and hear the preacher in my small mission go on about the Da Vinci Code I wonder to myself, did these guys read the book and dont these guys realize that this is all fiction. I mean if someone comes out with a well written book twisting facts to say that Jesus was an alien will we suddenly believe he was an alien too?

Come on man. Fiction, fact its that simple. Dont get it twisted. Just like everything you see on tv isnt real, everything you read isnt. I mean I dont know where my personal faith stacks up to others but still I think the average Christian shouldnt be worried about this book's affect on their faith if they do hold some faith.

Is Dan Brown the first guy to write fiction based on the church? Probably not. So why all the hoopla with the Da Vinci Code. Doesnt the church know that their comments are just helping Dan Brown get more publicity and sell more books. Do they not understand how publicity goes? There is no bad publicity.

Do we believe everything in print now even if it clearly labelled fiction or are we saying that well there must be some truth because he cant possibly be that talented to make this book all up?

He's a writer, a fiction writer. Its his job to come up with stories and make them realistic people.

(And just like Dan Brown's Da Vinci code I ran out of steam and cant think of a good ending for my blog. Unlike Dan Brown though only 10 -20 people will read this post.)

World Cup 2007

Cricket glorious cricket!

Yep, next year is the Cricket World Cup, the big battle for one-day supremacy and bragging rights by all of the world's top cricket playing nations. Alas that I should even risk a thought that my favorite West Indies squad had a chance at winning but then again miracles do happen.

Anyway the World Cup, like all sporting world cups it appears, is cycled among the nations that play the sport and 2007 just happens to be the year when its being hosted by the Caribbean. World cup cricket in the islands man, it gets no better than that if you are a cricket fan like I am.

Its great since it may give me a chance to go down and get to watch an actual World Cup match live in one of our famous cricket grounds. That's probably a once in a lifetime thing as far as I'm concerned cause most of the big cricket playing nations are on the other side of the world and I man would need some serious big money to even get across to India or Pakistan or New Zealand plus look for tickets and accommodations and the like so there goes jr's college fund before it even get started.....and that just doesn't work for me.

Not that going to the world cup in my own backyard will be cheap but hey I figure at least a man can beg a lodging from one of me bredren.

Still as the Caribbean nations furiously prepare for the World Cup, attempting to beat deadlines by upgrading infrastructure and retrofitting stadiums to bring them into the new millennium some worrying thoughts cross my mind.

Nope not the thoughts that the Windies team is still terrible and its going to be a shame to watch us handed our butts at home by all and sundry. No I'm thinking about the costs of this World Cup endeavor and apparently so are some others.

Can the Caribbean afford to host this World Cup? I mean yea the politicians and the spokesmen for the parties involved in the planning of the event have all put very positive spins on the return in investment from the expenditure outlayed but anyone who has followed big sporting events knows that, even in the case of developed countries, large sporting events have left host countries with big budget overruns, large monetary deficits and white elephant structures (think Olympic stadium in Montreal).

Can poor third world countries like Barbados, Jamaica, Guyana, St Vincent and the like afford to invest money into this event and then take losses?

Ok yea don't get me wrong, its quite the privilege to host the event, and one should put one's best foot forward no question about that, but at the end of the day you cant really eat the prestige and good will you garner can you? Aren't there better ways to spend those funds earmarked for the world cup preparation? Wouldn't the millions of dollars going into World Cup preparation be better spent on other projects in the Caribbean countries? Education, Health care, projects to help the poor, those sorts of things. Its a question I often ponder.

The islands are operating under the umbrella of this logic that the press coverage garnered from the World Cup is priceless and will bring new short and long term benefits to our nations. Apparently amongst other things the publicity that is gained from this event will result in a fresh tsunami like deluge of new tourists to the Caribbean after the actual event is finished. I find that logic to be somewhat faulty.

Why? Ok let me explain my counter logic. I don't dispute that with the World Cup of cricket you will get millions of viewers all over the world tuning in to the event. That's a fact. The specifics are though that although you will have large numbers, the viewership will be highly localized in a few countries: Britain, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, the entire subcontinent, North America, the Caribbean and a sprinkling of viewers possibly from a few European, African and Middle Eastern countries. Its a far cry from the really widespread coverage of the soccer world cup where basically people on every continent, in almost every country in the world, actually watch the games because well its indisputable that soccer is a more widely played game than cricket around the world and there is more interest in the outcomes of those games.

Ok so we have high viewership for the cricket World Cup but localized. Now not only is the viewership localized but if you plot those countries on the globe you realize that most of them are in the Eastern hemisphere while the Caribbean is in the west. In fact only North America, England and the Caribbean of the countries I've listed are in the west.

Not only in terms of countries listed is the viewership skewered to the east but also in terms of population as I'm sure most of the viewership will originate in the subcontinent which has millions if not billions of people, most die hard cricket fanatics.

What does that tell me? Well it tells me that we are targeting for tourism purposes countries in the west, in North America and England, where our islands are already well known, already have decent press coverage and we probably wont see a really significant upswing in visitors from those places. Then we are also targeting countries in the east where we are likely to get diddly squat in terms of tourist output.

You really think that we will see significant tourist numbers coming from the east? You think people going to leave New Delhi, Lahore or Colombo to fly thousands of miles to the Caribbean to hold a sea bath? You think the same thing will happen with people from New Zealand, Australia and South Africa?

Realistically first off its too expensive to fly that far to the Caribbean for the average vacationer and secondly those guys have sea and sun options closer to home. Why waste a whole day or more flying to Jamaica from New Zealand to spend a week and end up with jetlag that will take 5 days to disappear when you could more easily go to Borneo, Indonesia, Malaysia or someplace close by with the same sea and sun we promoting?

Come on now!

So yea millions might watch but I believe very few will jump on a plane and say they are coming down to Barbados because they just really must savor some flying fish and cou-cou or see the Animal Flower Cave. Its not going to happen.

Maybe during the world cup we'll get a significant increase in numbers from those countries as fans come over to support their teams but after the games are over and the hoopla has died down I don't believe there will be significant impact on tourist numbers.

So then the question is does the expenditure justify the return in investment from a few extra tourists during the world cup event? And while we're at it is tourism such a great industry to invest in with the state of the airline industry and the security issues facing those flying these days?

We are borrowing money to invest in this world cup putting local Caribbean citizens in more debt for some pie in the sky expected long term gains mainly based on increased tourism. I mean even countries that only received warm up games spending big money renovation and refurbishing stadiums that will only get used twice or three times a year.

How much debt are Caribbean countries putting ourselves in for these games and who will be the persons to actually feel that debt burden?

Ok yea the high rollers will say you got to bet big to win big but at the same time I think the odds don't justify the big bet. In fact I feel that I would put money on the West Indies team to win the World Cup before I bet that the Caribbean islands will make a profit or see significant returns from this world cup and the money they spending.

Spring again

Its spring again
everybody knows its spring again
To the girls and boys and people above
This is the time to fall in love

Spring again - Biz Markie


Happy Easter to all.

Well its spring again here in the t-dot and I figured I'd share with you some of the items that let me know that spring has arrived here:

(1) Its raining now instead of snowing although this winter was so up and down that we did actually have a fair bit of rain.

(2) Folks have discarded their winter clothing and some have already adapted shorts. Ok memo to the shorts wearing community: Just because its not snowing doesn't mean its shorts weather just yet.

(3) The temperatures have risen. Toronto doesn't seem to have those four discernible seasons like the textbooks talk about. Spring kind of rushes straight into the warmer weather that we call summer within a matter of weeks. None of that three month, June 21st solstice jive, spring lasts from late March to about mid May when all the trees have their leaves.

(4) The crazy people are back on the streets. I'm not sure what its all about but the first signs of spring for me are the fact that I see more and more of those with serious mental issues on the streets. Its like the city locks them up for their own protection during winter and then just lets them all go at the beginning of spring.

(5) The dandelions are back. Raking the lawn last week (apparently I had to aerate it or some such nonsense after winter) I saw a few dandelions. Sigh! The saga continues.

Ode to 24

tick tick tick tick
previously on 24.........

Any of you guys watch this show?

I've been watching since the first episode of the show debuted back in 2001 and must say that in my opinion this is far and above one of the better shows on TV at the moment. Yes its occasionally really, really unrealistic, that's to be expected with any Hollywood output, but at the same time no show brings the intensity week in and week out that 24 does.

The show grabbed me from even before its debut when I read the format: 24 episodes each representing an hour in the day with each minute of real show time representing an actual minutes worth of action so basically you watch the proceedings evolve in "real time". Pretty nice concept considering that Hollywood seems to be short on ideas that don't involve reality TV these days.

And the shows premise of Jack Bauer (played by Keifer Sutherland) fighting all sorts of bad guys to keep America safe, although its been done to death previously, somehow still comes off pretty fresh because of the intensity of the show and the fact that they aren't afraid to have casualties from the various terrorist plots, bombs, gases and assassinations that they face. Actually the show was probably a little too realistic from the get go as episode one hot on the heels of 9/11 showed a plane getting blown up in the sky (filmed before the actual 9/11 I think they actually cut some of it because of that event.)

Jack as a secret agent part CIA, part special forces, all patriotic soldier working for CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit) is the new quintessential American hero. A hero made necessary and ushered in by this new age where the ends justify the means, where we calmly talk about pre-emptive strikes and racial profiling, and heroes openly operate not in an arena where good and bad are obvious but in conditions where grey and cloudy are sometimes the best forecast one can hope for.

In other words Jack is a hero of the post 9/11 event. He kills, he maims innocents occasionally, he tortures on the regular, he lies, he operates outside the law but all to get to the source of the problem. We accept this more easily here in the post 9/11 world where the Guantanamo Bay detention centre exists. Who cares if a few innocents are tortured as long as the bad guys are caught right? The ends justify the means is Jack's motto and anyone is expendable in the cause as long as the final results are correct.

Forget Dirty Harry, Chuck Norris, Stallone or Terminator, Jack Bauer is the illest cat on TV right now. Yes as expected he escapes a lot of tight spots that the average guy would perish in but not without his fair share of grief. He's been tortured, shot, beat down, had a drug addiction, lost his wife, been ordered killed by the President in order to cover up a situation with the Chinese government but yet homeboy still survives (as well he has to for without Jack there is no 24).

And if Jack has had a rough time surviving the past five seasons well everyone else has had an equally tough time remaining unscathed in this show. Presidents conspire, presidents bumble in critical situations, "patriots" do evil all in the name of their country, and folk even the main characters who we grow to like as the hours progress sometimes have a hard time lasting from season to season. No one besides Jack, the driving force behind the show, seems to have been giving immunity from being knocked off at any point in a season. Nina, Michelle, Tony, Sherry, Edgar, President Palmer, even Jack's wife Terri all memorable characters, all dead.

Sigh! If only Kim Bauer would be so fortunate. Kim, who's that? Kim is Jack's daughter who somehow always in the most unlikely events gets mixed up in the day's events, getting kidnapped more times than the average civilian contractor in Iraq, being shot at and even being chased by wild animals all the while providing not so necessary eye candy to the show.

Luckily her role has been phased out somewhat in the last two seasons.

Speaking of unlikely events, like Kim's random kidnappings, does anyone take bathroom breaks or eat on that show or do they only sneak bites of sandwiches hidden under their desks during commercials? For once I'd like to see the Pizza guy deliver a large pepperoni at least once during the season.

And how loyal is that CTU staff? No one goes home. Someone's family dies, like when Edgar's mom died in the nuclear plant fallout and he still remains at work. Folks get tortured, and staff torturing conducted by Jack or other staff seems to occur at least once a season, and the tortured person is back at their desk within two hours. Hey dont knock the staff torture its necessary sometimes, at least on tv. One can never be too sure about the dude you've known for years, who you chatted with at the water cooler this morning, now can you? Could be a sleeper agent even if you know his kids and family and you car pool together to work. Could all be an elaborate plot by the bad guys. Speaking of which ever wonder how staff torture plays out at the company picnic? "Hey Phillips what's up guy? I haven't seen you since you injected me with that Sodium Pentathol and hooked me up to that electric chair the other day, ha ha ha, ah yea those where good times man, good times. So how've you been? Tortured any other innocent co-workers lately?"

Yep, CTU staff is crazy loyal. Even when they have near death experiences, because CTU is the most unsecured place in a crisis and is always being infiltrated or bombed or gassed, the staff who survive always shake it off right away and come straight back to work just in time to save the day. No one even has to call in the grief counsellors! What dedication!

Well clearly nobody at CTU aint West Indian cause family dead, bombs, gas, illness ya see me any crisis would have to wait cause I man would be on leave. If I was on the show they would have to re-name the show 24 + 3 weeks sick leave. Don't care hgow much money I was mekkin ya see me I would be heading home. And don't even mention torture at all cause if it was torture they wouldn't see me again they would just be hearing from my lawyers.

Now if Jack has been the main hero and protagonist of the show the show is not without its memorable sidekicks and co-stars (most of them dead by now) although the one beef here I would state is that besides Nina Myers all of the bad guys have been plain forgettable. I mean Drazen, Salazar, and Marwan weren't too bad and this new cat Henderson is intriguing but did they really come off as anything other than cannon fodder for Jack?

Some of the main characters we grew to love though include:

President Palmer because hey what isn't there to love about a black president especially one who brought such a strong air of leadership and dignity to the role. Plus dude was able to parlay that strong reassuring presidential role into some serious ad money as the AllState Insurance guy and now has his own series the Unit on one of the other networks. Way to go! Alas he was assassinated this season on 24 apparently on behalf of the current president.

Sherry Palmer, introduced as the president's wife in season one and went on to be his former wife as she schemed her way out of our good books but say what you want she was a bad bad lady.

Tony Almeida: Jack's CTU coworker and friend. Tony went to jail for putting his wife ahead of the national security. He also saved Jack's hide by helping him pretend to be dead when the President put a hit on his life.

and last but not least Chloe O'Brien, the obnoxious co-worker who somehow has tonnes of fans. She's the smart alec, who knows her job but has absolutely no people skills so she just says whatever comes to her mouth. The woman full a back chat, her face always screw up and she's downright rude sometimes but somehow she always gets the job done.

Ah 24 I could go on and on but I shall not.

24. No white hat good guys and black hat bad guys here everyone has character flaws and even the president can be shady and oh someone has always got to take the fall because the top guys cant. Why? Cause even if they are incompetent, corrupt or downright evil for the sake of not compromising the position they hold someone else has to take the fall while they escape the blame for the fiascos that ensue. Its the American way isn't it?

Pretty realistic on that level I'd say.

Actually I wonder how popular this show would have been if it was being shown in another era not as conducive as today's geopolitical climate? I guess this was just a case where the Fox guys struck it lucky and gave us the right show at the right time.

Take a bite out of crime

Great Scott are you a thief?
Seems like ya got a mouth full of gold teeth!
Slick Rick - Mona Lisa

I remember when I was growing up you would find the odd guy flashing a smile with a bright gold tooth. It was kind of cool I guess but I always thought of those persons as somehow shady, must be that old adage "every skin teet aint nuh laff" that I was exposed to although I'm not sure exactly how that fits in with gold teeth. It was like maybe you were using that gold tooth smile to hide some personality flaw. You know like the gold tooth back then was what flashy cars are to guys today; it was a way to compensate plus it was a girl magnet. Dudes with gold tooth were straight players, macks, even pimps.

Fast forward to the 2006 era and a single gold tooth is no longer the big mouth accessory it once was. Now it Grillz. I'm talking about those ice grillz, those ridiculous fashion statements made popular by mainly rappers over the past decade or so. Forget a single gold tooth this is all about filling one's mouth with plates of jewels and precious metals. I mean my dentist once tried to run game on me with the old saying that a good smile is worth a fortune. (It was his selling point for why I should get braces to get rid of the gap in my teeth and it didn't work.) Well in this case when one has those grillz the adage seems very true cause a smile with those grillz really does cost a fortune.

Forget rings, chains and bracelets lets put all the jewelry in our mouths.

And some of these grillz are like removable dentures so you can wear your platinum one day and your gold the next day while others are permanently bonded.

Take a bite outta crime wash it down with some juice
Das Efx - Dead Serious

Well in the case of two criminals in a US Federal detention centre they almost bit off more that they could chew by having permanently bonded grillz. Read here. A judge ruled that the grillz they had in their mouths should be seized. Hey the government has to find the money somewhere to pay for their incarceration. The authorities were about to rush them off to the dentist to remove the grillz when it came to light that they had the permanently bonded ones and that removal would be damaging to their mouths. Oh well. I guess sometimes you can take the proceeds of your criminal endeavors with you when you go to jail. So let that be a lesson to all you aspiring hoodlums. Forget the chains, the fancy cars, and the big houses. The law can take that stuff from you invest in grillz instead and you can take that everywhere you go.

But this whole grillz thing got me thinking. Some guys' mouths are completely full of these things and they cost thousands upon thousands of dollars. How does one eat with platinum, gold and jewels in one's mouth? I know I would be feeling really worried that I crunch down hard on a pieca ox tail and hear 'crack' and lost pieca tooth. I would have to switch to a straight liquid diet. No more ox-tail, chicken, even pasta cooked too "al dente"would have me worried. I might even got to cut out rice and peas cause knowing my luck two rice grains would get stuck in a tooth and dislodge something expensive or I might turn around and where I had a diamond all I would see is two black eyed peas staring back at me.

Plus I would have to constantly walk with a mirror in my pocket because I would be checking every two minutes to make sure that I aint lost something expensive. No boy it would be too much stress on me to have jewels in my mouth.

The whole grillz business also got me wondering how those things duz feel in your mouth. I mean how does it feel to have some hard shiny cold things in your mouth rubbing against your gums 24-7. I don't know but to me that don't sound too comfortable. I guess its like having braces but most people I know who have had braces cant wait to get them out as they don't find it too pleasant an experience so I cant imagine actually volunteering and paying to get people to put cold metal in my mouth.

And how safe are all these metals in your mouth? Any possibility that some platinum leach out and rush to my brain or something so? What about a diamond, suppose one slip out and get stuck in my windpipe. These things aint sounding safe at all.

Plus and this is real important for the permanently bonded ones. How does one clean them? Well I guess toothpaste is supposedly a good jewelry cleaner and all but at some point if the bling starts wearing off do you have to go get some sorta fancy jewelry cleaner and swirl around in your mouth for 15 minutes. God forbid ya eva swallow that.

No boy not me and them fancy things in my mouth. No gold, no platinum, no diamonds, no rubies at all in my mouth cause next thing ya see I fall asleep at home and wake up with the wife ova me wid a pliers trying to strike it rich. Nuh uh! No sir not me. The only grillz I want to have any dealings with is the George Foreman ones.

Beef Hero not the sandwich

What's beef? Beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep
Beef is when your moms ain't safe up in the streets
Beef is when I see you
Guaranteed to be in ICU, one more time
What's beef? Beef is when you make your enemies start your Jeep
Beef is when you roll no less than thirty deep
Beef is when I see you
Guaranteed to be in ICU, check it

Yea I got beefs just not beefs like that but I think I can relate to that though.

My thing about beef is getting caught up in someone else's beef. A lot of us take on other people's issues because they are friends or family. The person they are beefing with hasn't even done us anything at all yet we take sides and end up ruining friendships or sometimes even getting into altercations over something that shouldn't affect us personally.

For me that's a no-no. I try to keep my own personal beefs as my own but then I've always been accustomed to rolling solo plus no-one ever takes on my beefs anyways.

But in regards to the beefs of others, unless you're like close close family or its a ridiculous story where clearly I can tell you've been obviously cheated I aint even trying to get involved. Even with close family if I think the beef is silly I'm not even trying to be part of it.

I can be friends with two parties who don't speak to each other, and got issues with each other and that applies in both personal and work relationships cause sometimes there be these little cubicle wars going on and people expect you to take sides. Why? Its work man, I come here to do my shift not get caught up in a professional Tupac vs Biggie struggle. Forget that! I aint trying to be caught up in stuff that really doesn't concern me. Work is usually already stressful enough without personal feuds. Save that drama for your mama! In both personal and work situations if you want to feud like the Montagues and Capolets go right ahead but I'm staying Switzerland neutral. If you want to catch feelings on that and then have beef with me because of my stance that's fine too cause then we have issues.

Like I always figure they are very few people I would even consider getting into crap for. Actually this leads into another thought (Which was supposed to be another blog).

Two weeks ago got into an argument about a public incident that I read about. The incident involved two random parties in close proximity first getting into an argument and then fighting in public with one getting the absolute better of the other. In other words someone's ass got kicked and no one stepped in to help.

The argument was about why people who saw the altercation didn't get involved. No one stepped to the assistance of the weaker party.

My thoughts were to be honest I myself would probably not have stepped in. Yea I know that's sad and doesn't show a lot of community spirit on my part but my thoughts are I aint getting killed for someone I don't know. Forget valor and discretion this is a pure common sense thing.

There are some situations that regardless necessitate someone stepping in or calling the police; small children in trouble comes to mind but there are other incidents like say domestic disputes where you're not fully aware of what's going on or you realize that the situation isn't as cut and dry as it may seem where you cant just step up and play hero. Plus People nowadays igrant, guns a plenty all over the place and ya cant call back bullets once they fire. So yea sorry I never had a cape, never could leap small buildings, never was bulletproof and I aint the one to play hero. Call me the coward of the county if you want but as Kenny Rogers said (yea so I listen to county music what's your problem, you want beef?) "You got to know when to hold um, know when to fold um, know when to walk away know when to run."

Random thoughts

(1) You know that someone's music coming through their headphones is too loud when you can hear their music when they sit next to you ......even though you yourself are listening to music on your own headphones.

(2) "If I was white I wouldn't be afraid of you." Part of a conversation I had yesterday with de wife about what I look like. I was also subjected to this gem "He is good looking if you like good looking guys". My take on the subject, I am ugly yet not scary ugly. Hmmm not sure if this is a good thing or not lol.

Pimping aint easy!

Been pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin
Mike Epps as Baby Powder in How High

"Its hard out there for a pimp." I cant even blame Terrence Howard or 3-6 Mafia for this one cause that would be ludicrous or maybe rather Ludacris since he's pimping all over the world. Word to Bobby Valentino son!

The news story reads about a young man in my native Barbados who when brought before the judge on charges proudly said he was a pimp. According to the story "Bursting with excitement, Jason exclaims that he was born to be a pimp." "I grow up in this thing," he says. And so as he provides protection for working girls plying their trade he waxes eloquently on his profession. Its just always so nice to see someone having that type of enthusiasm he has for his job isn't it? Go read the story from the link above.

He's been pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin. Maybe he's just trying to get his 50 Cents. I don't know what you heard about me ............ but I'm a bleep bleep P.I.M.P!

GGGGGGGGGG-G-U-not really a pimp or maybe he is.

Sigh!

Why cant I be a pimp?

From Iceberg Slim to Youngblood Priest to Flyguy to Dolomite to Powder to Bishop Magic Don Juan to Djay (Terrence Howard in Hustle n Flow) pimping has been on the radar for years. Pimping even made the Oscars ths year with 3-6 mafia winning best movie song. Pimping its been glorified, vilified, amplified, and now it seems like the pimps these days they even be testified. CHUUUURCH!

Pimpin aint easy (according to Big Daddy Kane) you gotta get that dirt off your shoulder homie and keep your pimp hand strong. Why? You dare to ask why? You betta back up offa me before I gotta lay down my pimp hand! I keeps my pimp hand strong! Word to big bird son! I'm saying! Actually umm just for clarification is the pimp hand the right or the left hand cause frankly I'm a bit confused here? Is there also a non-pimp hand and do we need to keep that one strong as well? Bah whatever like I was saying I keeps my pimp hand strong son! Recognize!

Of course just to indulge your question for a minute, one main reason for keeping one's pimp hand strong is rather simple. Those jeweled pimp cups are soooo heavy! What does one of those things weight 20-25 lbs minimum? Pimps be having to do bicep curls in order to lift that stuff and still look fly. Wait does anyone still use the word fly anymore?

Wait a second here's a sure fire money making idea. Stay with me stay with me. Weight training for pimps - the DVD. Just let it marinate for a few. Now tell me that aint a good idea? Pack on the muscle so you can keep the pimp hand strong. Build those traps and delts so you can wear your bling bling without O.G ing (thats over gold and is a joke from I'm going to get you sucka where homeboy died because he wore too much gold) or is O.P ing these days. Over Platinum. Featuring 20 different all new exercises you can do with the pimp cup and the cane. For $19.99 we'll even through in some fake bling so you can look like a pimp without paying pimp prices. Its a special one time offer. Yea sounds like a plan so I'm looking for investors. Anyone want to put in some money?

Chuuuurch! By the way I have no idea what that word means but on BET pimps seem to say it quite a bit so it must be important and I'm just saying it to add to my authenticity. Pimp Idea number 2: Pimping for dummies! G's up ho's down, talk like a pimp walk like a pimp, tips on how to keep you pimp hand strong and your pimp game tight.

"We be Big Pimping spending the cheese, Big pimping up in NYC!" JAy Z's a pimp, Snoop Dog's a pimp, David Banner did it Like a pimp, Pimp C well hey his name is starts with so what do you expect. Pimping rides, pimping houses , hmmm maybe we should even pimp my blog. Hey, hold on one minute, watch out now if you touch my blog without my permission I'm a have to lay down my pimp hand and maybe even a pimp foot or two.

WHAT! OK!

But on a serious note Pimping is indeed big business or as KRS-ONE would tell you rather simply we all live in a pimp and ho society. Either you are being pimped or you are the pimp. Wait I'm having another idea here, hold on its coming to me. America's Next Top Pimp. Maybe we can even tie it in with Top Model somehow. "Tyra girl you best to be having my money up in here, homie don't play dat. I know I shouldnt have left Nigel in charge. Damn." Yea I'm seeing dollar signs from that endeavour. What's wrong? If the post is about pimping I gotta keep my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Don't I?

Of course as you can probably tell by now there is no point to this blog but to say the word pimp as many times as possible. Breathe ........pimp pimp pimp pimp pimp pimp pimp. Exhale breath.......pimp pimp pimp pimp.

Hey maybe by blogging about pimping it will get my site more hits or since it is pimp related perhaps more b**** slaps. ha ha ha or should that be ho ho ho ......hold on I meant that like Santa does cause hey seriously Santa is clearly the all time reigning Pimp of the year. Don't let those pretenders fool you Santa is the man. I mean come on who else can carry a a bright red suit and a hat with a ball on it like Santa, and don't buy into that elves making gifts at the North Pole jive. You think Elves got the technical knowhow to make Nintendo and gameboy? Naa Santa pimps the elves (he's got the hottest elves in the game wearing his chain), and takes the money and buys the gifts. Santa got the North Pole on lock and his pimp hand is strong! Plus tell me the truth is flying reindeer not like the flyest ride out there. I mean hey Cadillac or flying reindeer I'm choosing reindeer everytime cause whatever reindeer eat got to be cheaper than gas these days.

Ok enough of this I need to go get me a cane, a lime green suit and matching hat, a fur, some platform shoes with fish in the soles, some bling, but not too much I don't want to O.G (Over Gold like in I'm gonna get you sucka) and a pimp cup. Oh right I'll need some girls too hmmmm. Bah I'm thinking E-bay should cover everything.

And remember vote Big daddy J-diddy (thats my new pimp id) for pimp of the year cause I keeps my pimp hand strong! What! Ok! Yeahhhhhh!