Thursday, July 20, 2006

Gone in 60 words

or less!

My good sistren Abeni over at And still I rise challenged me to write a 60 word story. Something about my posts being always long. Well then! Here we go!
---------------------------

The jingle of keys.
Click!

"Meow?"
"Shhhhhhhh stupid cat!"

A pause.
Silence followed by a soft continuous creaking.
An animal screams!
"Wha de? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
The sound of tumbling.
Bruggadown!

"Uhhhhhhh"

"What's going on down there?"

"Nothing Dear."

Lights go on.

"Oh Michael why must you always trip over the cat on the stairs when you come home drunk?"

--------------------

There you have it, excuse me while I stand here chilling in my b-boy stance. And I'm ghost!

20 comments:

Luke Cage said...

LOL!!! Do the damn thing J. I've been told that my posts are long too, but I was always amazed that folks lasted all the way thru to the end to read them. So that's a compliment man. I think you handled the challenge very well. Kudos! b-boy stance? -lol

Honest said...

*Clapping* Well done.

inciquay said...

Excellent job; I could feel the raw emotion as I read each line. G'wan witcha bad self in yo' b-boy stance!
Hmm next time -as a stretch can you do it haiku?

cfollymacher said...

Great job with an interesting challenge. Can't beat a good pussy (make you lose your) footing story.

Ravenbajan said...

LOL, well done!

I'm laughing my butt off at inciquay's comment. A haiku? If so make it a pretty one nuh.

Enter the silence
Watch Jdid fall loudly
Cat is smugly proud.

Unknown said...

I wrote mine over at my blog. Take a read.

Miz JJ said...

Lol. I'm surprised the cat lived. Great story.

Campfyah said...

I know that you would have lived up to the challenge

-_- said...

The cat should have died.

(laughing hard)

Thanks for your advice, bro. I appreciate it. Yuh sound like mi fadda, mussi di paternal instinct a rub off fe yuh likkle one! Ha ha.
Mi won't wuk mi soulcase out fi The Man...'im nuh care bout we!

Abeni said...

Way to go ..lol

Unknown said...

Brap, brap, Jdid! Gone one!

G. Cornelius said...

That was hilarious! But you never seem to surprise me...I'll keep you posted

Rev Island said...

Nice one.

Marc M said...

JDid and 60 words? I didn't know the two went together.

Amadeo said...

Huzzah!!! Show your skills.

neena maiya (guyana gyal) said...

Talent, talent going around man. That was good, using mostly sounds and dialogue, very clevah.

Rose said...

That was great! You won the challenge, standing there in your b-boy stance.

chrome said...

gwan rudie! felt that short

jelli said...

LOL...*smh*(shaking my head).

princessdominique said...

Man you coulda emailed me privately and told me you were writing some stuff. I loved it though. I may use it as an exercise for my writing group this week...yay!