Family

There's Family and then there is "Family". Y'all know what I'm saying?

I don't have a lot of both, more "family" than family, both here and in Barbados, actually people who do right by me and always got my back. My "fam". So to those who are fam good looking out. That includes my blog fam. Y'all know who I mean.

Actually that was supposed to be the end of the blog right there but let me get a little philosophical on the whole family thing. In my mind there are two schools of thought that I've heard of on the other family that is the blood relations and family by marriage ie the people that you cant be rid of even though they may be annoying as hell. To me the theories are somewhat polar opposites and I firmly sit in one corner as opposed to the other.

In one corner is the belief that family gets special perks and you let them slide on ish because well they are family and you need to hold them down regardless no questions asked even if cousin bob stole your ish or auntie Betty tried to hustle you. I think that's the more popular theory.

On the other side and this is where I stand is the belief that if you are family you need to be held to higher accountability cause you are family and you shouldn't be trying to mess with me. You are family and you should know better and you should treat me better as I will strive to treat you better than the average Joe. So cousin bob shouldn't be stealing from me and Auntie Betty sure as hell shouldn't be trying to hustle me. That's where I stand so if you are family and you mess with me I do take that ish personal and I will ostracize you. Comprende?

But then I'm an absolute black and white type cat most times so what do I know.

Where do you stand?

And before me family start cussing muh I aint talking bout nobody in particular I just talking theoretically although y'all know I will cut you off and I can go years not dealing with certain family if I think they tried to mess with me. Word is bond!

Anyway y'all can ignore the rant. What's important is if you 'fam' thanks and good looking out.

8 million stories in the city

Or rather 5.3 Million stories in the GTA.

Tuesday morning hopped off the Bloor-Danforth subway at St. George and made my way through the crowd up the stairs. Near the top I realized a southbound was waiting on the next level and there seemed to be space, well standing room at least, left. Bounded the last two steps and made a mad dash into the tail end of the last car before the train whistle had gone. Not that I was in a hurry to get to work or anything but a southbound train with space is a rarity on my morning journey.

Got on the train and didn't have to jostle with the work bound crew for space and a railing to grab onto. I also had a clear path to the door which was good cause I hate getting stuck in the middle of a subway car and having to push through a million people to get to the door.

Looked like it could be a good day.

I was near the back of the car close to the last door and suddenly I realized that there was a stream of people walking steadily and purposefully past me towards seats in the front of the train. The first two passed by and I thought oh maybe the conductor just needs to get to the window on that side but then more joined them. Then I realized wait a minute the conductor usually isn't in the last car and that side with the seats is not the side to the platform. Then I noticed the tapping. tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Steady, loud sort of rhythmic but getting frantic tapping.

My eyes spun and I realized the whole back of the train had cleared out except for one woman. The tapping was the results of her efforts with a water bottle on the back of the subway car's window. She seemed oblivious to everything around her solely focused on the tunnel behind us. Hmmm the tapping was getting more frantic and by her antics and the antics of the other passengers I could tell she was how shall we say this ummm a bit off, a bit disturbed in the head possibly.

But wait a minute. This wasn't your typical shabby, smelly, crazy eyed lunatic. From my view of her back she was dressed pretty nicely, Bay Street type office stylish, matching designer handbag, heels. If it wasn't for the incessant tapping and the fact that she had lain out what looked to be some of her bag's contents papers and the like on the floor at the back of the train I would have probably thought she was the typical secretary or exec type I see every morning. Actually maybe she was who knows.

Was trying not to stare but hoping to catch a glance at her face. She turned around, eyes looked a bit out of it and the biggest clue to her mindstate was the untidiness of her hair; her blonde hair was unkempt falling all over her face in little tangles.

Anyway not sure what happened next. She kept tapping, I left the train a few stations later.

Just wonder who she was and what was her story and what happened next. You never can tell can you. She might have got some bad news at home or even on her way to work. News that pushed her over the edge. She might have lost a love one, been jilted by a lover, been in trouble or fired at her job, lost all her money, found out she was dying or maybe she just plain forgot to take her medication. Who knows.

Oh well like I said there are 5.3 million stories in the GTA.

And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Will always love you-ou-ou-ou!

Funniest story I read in the news in a while is here. It says that apparently Osama has a serious crush on Crackney umm sorry I mean Whitney Houston. Which begs the questions?

So exactly how long has that dude been living in a cave? Has he seen Whitney lately? How much Opium has he been smoking in that cave?

But there got to be elements of this that the authorities can use. Whitney Houston crack special undercover agent maybe. Yea send Whitney down to Afghanistan and Osama would cease to be a threat in no time flat.

Oh the scenarios I can think of. How I wish I had my own comedy special right about now just to do some of these skits. Its gold Jerry gold!

And the story continues to say that Bin Laden talked about taking out Bobby Brown. Here's an idea Osama vs Bobby live pay per view cage or rather cave match. I'm putting my cash on Bobby. That cat is crazy and he's from Roxbury that's all I'm saying.

Ironically

Yout's going to be six months tomorrow my how time flies.

Was having a conversation the other day and the gist was look how times have changed. Back when we were growing up parents were all about school, school and more school. Extra curricular activities were just stuff that took you away from homework. Ok well some parents would let you learn to play the Violin or Clarinet or Piano because learning classical music was an exception in terms of extra curricular activities and was good for you but other than that it was like go do your homework and stop running around with those kids wasting your time.

Today its the opposite sort of. Its all about extra curricular stuff and not just extra curricular stuff but focused planned extra curricular stuff. Swimming lessons at 4, soccer at 5, skating at 6:30, piano at 7:30, this and that lessons, play time guided by adults. 3 year olds in soccer and t-ball leagues, what just happened to kicking a ball around with the neighbor's kids regardless of their ages? And when did the focus switch from school, school, school to must have child pay to do everything under the sun in an effort to make them well rounded.

Forget a well rounded our parents wanted to make sure we took school seriously and were able to get jobs when we graduated. lol

Anyway its just a comment, I think I stand somewhere in the middle on this. Moderation. I'm more of a play but chuck the adults and the regimented time scheduling kind of guy. Think those Brazilian superstar football players were playing in pee wee soccer leagues at age 3 over in Rio? Hell to the Naw they were probably just kicking some makeshift ball against the wall with a bunch of other kids in a favela while their moms screamed at them to come finish their homework.

I'm just saying.

Airlines, Airports and Travel

Its been a crazy week for travelers worldwide with this new terror threat in the UK. So much terror and fear abound about when next the terrorists will strike, people a plenty afraid to fly yet I keep hearing that the war on terror has been won by the West. Interesting fallout of winning I guess.

Anyway now they making it difficult for a man to travel in an airplane. Ok more difficult because they ramped up security a bit after 9/11 but now its getting more stringent again. Forget Snakes on a plane right now the scariest item on a plane is liquids in a carry on bag. Where's Sam Jackson when you need him huh?

No liquids, no gels anything that can spray or ooze or flow or looks viscous prohibited from carry on luggage they say. No hair gel, no juice, no water bottles, no roll on deodorant, no toothpaste nothing so. Cuhdear!

So that means if someone has to overnight to catch a connecting flight they have to look to buy some Right Guard and a tube of Colgate in the connecting city, take one or two brushes with that tube of toothpaste and then dash way the whole pretty much unused tube before they head to the airport to catch the connecting flight. And you thought we already lived in a quite wasteful world didn't you?

Well I guess is either that or don't clean your teeth or use deodorant in between flights. Next thing ya know air travel smelling like TTC in rush hour.

Here's two ideas if you want to make some money now. One come up with a one application tube of toothpaste and a one application deodorant. Maybe the deodorant can be like a stick of chewing gum and you just unwrap it and plaster it under your arms. I don't know that might work. Second money making idea is to invest in Colgate cause when Toothpaste buying increase stock going up.

Oh well and ya dun know this is probably just a start in terms of travel precautions. Next thing you know they will be saying as an additional precaution no liquids in your checked in bags at all.


Wha is dat he say? No liquids in my carry on bag? Wuhloss West Indian people fainting left, right and centre at the airport. Wait can you carry smelling salts on the plane or is that considered a liquid?

Caribbean travelers blue vex then. " Looka is not dat I worried about the toothpaste or the duty free perfume or anything so but Skippa wha how you mean I cant bring back dese three pet bottles a Ju-C fuh muh sista, de two gallons a sea water fa my mudda in law to wash she bad foot wid, my three bottles of coconut water and de two large Cockspurs and Sugar Cane Brandy fa de fellas? Chupse you mekkin mock sport den. Leff dem where? Hayso on the table wid you? You must feel I is a poppit or something den! Looka I gine cross hayso to the back a de line and drink way all dis first before I check in cause dares not you get my rum and my ju-c and coconut water. ya cud keep the sea water doah."

Serious business that. Air travel done as we know it.

Then if those drastic measures don't stop the terrorism threat you know what the next step will be? First they aint going to let you travel in your own clothes. You will reach the check in counter and they will make you strip and change into something like a medical gown or a plastic raincoat.

Then next step will be all liquids excluded from going on the plane including the ones in ya stomach and bladder. They start giving you concoctions to drink 24 hrs before the flight and telling you not to eat anything before you come to the airport like you going in the hospital for surgery.

Now besides asking if you packed you bag yourself and didn't leave it unattended, they will be asking you did you empty your bladder and stomach before you came to the airport. Dare ya to say no too cause they will rush you off to a lil' room give you some ex-lax or milk of magnesia and force you to empty ya stomach.

Dares not a fella pass any gas at the check in counter too cause they would claim he has biological weapons and deadly gases stored in his chest cavity and stomach and brand him a terrorist quick fast. Next thing ya know a fella at Guantanamo Bay being interrogated under bright lights:
"Who gave you those weapons to put in your stomach?"
"No man it wasn't no weapons is just since I couldn't eat from yesterday I got de lil gas in me chest. De wife gi muh sum tea before I leff home but dat didn't help."
"Ah ha! So the wife is a terrorist too! Is she the mastermind behind this whole plot."
"Well I aint know bout mastermind but she always claiming she smarter dan me."
"Alright then bring her in for questioning."

Lawd ave mercy.

Two years later

Wow time does fly when you're having fun doesn't it? Two years ago I started this blog. Didn't think it'd last past more than three posts to be honest. I mean for a guy who speaks so little who would have thought he'd have so much to write right?

Anyway I was just going to do a normal post something about second hand burkas I saw at a garage sale in my neighborhood on Saturday (seriously I cant actually make this stuff up) and how sometimes western and other cultures just don't blend as seamlessly as we'd like and at the end say oh yea by the way its two years since I started blogging but I figure I always get ridiculed at home for not celebrating occasions so I should actually probably just focus on this two years bit today.

Ok so here we go. Two years of blogging. Whew! Boy do I have a lot of time on my hands to be able to chat so much lawlessness on the internet lol. Actually there is a lot less free time now than there was when I started but somehow I still try and get in a few posts a week.

Actually after two years I'm reminded of Dr Dre's lines on the Watcher "I've seen em come, I've watched em go, Watched em rise, witnessed it and watched them blow, Watched em all blossom and watched em grow". I should be about ready to get my O-G status up in here y'all cause I think its been a challenge to survive two years. Forget a pimp its hard out there for a blogger! Shout outs to dudes like Dr D and Mad Bull who been going on 4 -5 years in this business. Now that's gangsta!

But to get back to this two year thing I must say that this blogging business has been actually quite the study in writing for me cause, and I know most of you bloggers out there know this, you can go through some serious doldrums when you're just not feeling to say or write anything. Seems like I've been in one of those for a while.

I guess its a bunch of things. Been just kind of wondering why I continue to blog and what's the purpose and all that and whether I shouldn't be writing in other mediums or just quit writing cause my writing sucks or what should I really be blogging about, is this too trivial is this too serious, and whether I'm connecting with my audience here and who is my audience here and how come a brother don't be getting a lot of comments all up in this although I know mad folk who claim they read here. Actually as is my tendency I'm probably overthinking the whole blog business. I should just continue to write just to write, you cant write for anyone but yourself. Came to that realization years ago with the poetry bit.

Know something strange about the blogging bit too? Sometimes I go over some of the stuff I wrote and be like did I actually write that? Hmmmm. Just doesn't seem like I could write something like that. Who knew.

Another interesting thing is who reads the blog. You're never sure are you? Folks I expected to read it don't and people you don't expect do but that's part of being in internet territory I think.

Anyway before this gets way too long lets just say its been a pleasure to share with you my readers. Hope you guys have been able to understand some of the craziness I've shared and I haven't bored you way too much. See this blog is kind of crazy cause I really don't have a focus and I've got way too many influences that kind of don't connect at times: hip hop, music in general, Caribbean experiences, crazy ass times in the wacky world of public transit (I could start an entire blog just on that) a warped sense of humor and strange interpretations of everyday events. How does it all come together? Beats the hell out of me.

Must say I've made some good friends in this blogging biz too. Its like a whole other level of internet connection. I feel like I know so many of the bloggers although I've never really met them. There's an interesting study in socialization there somewhere I guess.

And I've also got to say that some of you guys motivate and inspire me with your skill with the written word. Wont call any names but some of you I wish I had your talent and whenever I read a good blog I'm like man I wish I'd thought about that or had been able to articulate on that level but see me, me never copy nuhbody at least not intentionally so I just continue to do my own thing.

In closing, just big respect to people like Kami, Dr D, Mad Bull, Luke Cage, Amadeo, Obi, Princess D, Camp, Brother Buck, my lil sis Lene and all the other bloggers on my bloglist and any who aren't whose work I've checked out. Big up to all my readers in the T-dot and Canada in general, big up to the Canadian bloggers, my readers in the US, England, Worldwide wherever ya at. Respect to all my West Indian crew thanks for coming through. And mad shout outs to all the Caribbean bloggers. I got this issue that there are not enough of us in this medium, which is one of the reason I havent quit yet, so I hope to see our numbers increase as time go by. Don't be shy now.

But wait a minute I just realize somebody might be out there thinking "Chupse! But look at he doah. He bigging up the whole world like he got 50 billion people reading he in circulation like the New York Times when truthfully um is only like 5 people duz read this stupid blog when the day come. He Jdid like he feel he big ya kno! See dat is wha duz happen when sum a dem fellas feel dem reach. Chupse. He juss get two years under he belt now and feel he big. Doan mind he fa true. "

Anyway regardless of how many read, be it 10 or 10000, thanks to all of you out there in cyberspace who visit the site. Cant make any promises but maybe I'll be able to celebrate 3 years with you next year Inshallah.

And hey what would a Jdid post be if it wasn't too long :-)

Have you ever

Stood in a line waiting at a bank or a government office or some business place and secretly hoping that the fates align you with a certain service person? Like either you see a cool looking person behind the desk handling their business efficiently or you see a fine lady or gent (if ya is a woman) or you see a complete moron who taking forever to do the smallest transaction and you praying you don't end up dealing with him.

Well like this morning I had to go run an errand, 4 service people and I was probably number 7 or 8 in line. One nice looking sista was one of the service people and I was there hoping even praying that she was the one to deal with me. Why? Just because man, cheese on wunnah gotta know everything :-). Alright fine its because she did look pleasant not hard screw and vex up like some of the other service people. Ya satisfied now?

Anyways so she dealt with one person and then came back for another and my hopes were crushed. But looking at the guy she was handling I knew that was going to be a quick transaction or so I hoped. Now one person left in line ahead of me. Ok another server is available so that takes care of the fella ahead of me. My turn next and just as I figure the sista finished with the guy in record time. Alright then, today is my lucky day. Just waiting on her to call me then!

But what happen? Cha! The other server dilly dally around and aint make no attempt to call the guy ahead of me so the sista called them over. Drats I've been foiled again. And almost as soon as she got those guys the other screw faced server now play he ready for customers again and call me. Chupse!

A so it a go!

And the winner is.....

You aint nuttin but a teaser
A dirty dirty teaser

Teaser - Beckett


Oh wait y'all were waiting on me to post about Caribana right? Well sorry to tease you on Friday and have to disappoint you today but I didn't make it to the parade. Combination of Bum knee, wasn't feeling the vibe this year and slept in kind of late and wasn't motivated to leave home to go all the way down Lakeshore in the afternoon. Sounds like they had a great drama free parade though so respect due. Will have to ask my bredren what the costumes were like.

I did go to the Pan Alive show Friday night though. My boys Afropan came second in both the competition and bomb tune sections. Unlike last year I have no problems with the decision though. Pan Fantasy deserved to win. Thought the kids with Jesse Kethum should have placed higher than 5th though. As for Afro don't worry we is still the all time winninest steel band in the T-dot so no worries we coming back strong and after my hiatus this year I'll be back playing next year.

But yep sorry I didn't make the Caribana parade this year. I could have been down the Lakeshore overwhelming my sense of sight and sound listening to the sweet sounds of soca, pan and rhythm beat out on iron, and the sights of beautifully vibrant costumes and women but instead Jdid decided to overload his sense of taste by going to an event a little closer to home. Yep that's right folks Scarborough Ribfest in Thompson park.


After all when I was growing up in Barbados this big food expert lady Carmeta Fraser had this slogan "food comes first" so see me I aint one to forget what my elders teach me as a yout so I must follow their commands.

Who I really trying to fool though? I guess I reaching that age where I putting me belly first. Forget all dem gal in the teeny weeny costume man looking for something more satisfying like Ribs and I aint talking bout no bony woman. I mean ribs you can eat.

Let me tell you guys about Ribfest. Pork fa days then! I mean I aint know how many pigs were killed to satiate the masses but it had to be a good few hundred if not thousands.

Anyway the place was packed, the ribbers (the barbeque makers) were out in abundance and the ribees (the people there to eat ribs. I just mek that one up) was a plenty too.

Went over wid me partner and his wife and we decide we going judge best ribs for ourselves. We on a mission like Special Ed.

So first thing first which Ribbers we testing? Rule one, American ribbers only! Yea man I know that sound bad and unpatriotic but think about it, you want to eat ribs from men from North Bay Ontario that does only got half a month of summer or you want to eat ribs from fellas from Florida or Texas that duz be barbecuing outside even on Christmas morning in their shorts? As I see it practice makes perfect so anybody that come from a warm weather area should know more about barbeque than people that live in the cold.

So for once I will admit that Americans got we beat in something and I defer to their expertise in the barbeque area. It aint nuh disgrace to Canadians is just we weather don't permit a fella to be barbecuing 24-7 and developing that sort of expertise.

All right then!

So we narrow down the Championship contenders to a trio with long lines and nuff winning banners and trophies placed strategically in their setups. True they could have been fooling us but well we had to decide somehow.

In the end it came down to Florida, Kansas City and Alabama and after toying with the idea of trying the chicken or the brisket or the pulled pork we just decided to stick to the basics...Ribs.

So we split up and hit the long lines to get some ribs. Kansas City had the longest and slowest line. Hmmm that might be a sign right there that those guys have some good barbeque. Alabama took the ribs and "run it through the mud" meaning to add extra sauce and Florida well Florida was the faster of the three lines and claimed they use some special citrus business in their sauce so we would have to see how that taste.

In front of us ribbers busy turning ribs, spreading sauce and cutting up multiple racks of ribs for consumption. Quite a sight for any raving carnivore like myself. Um Um good!

So after about 15 minutes we had three plates of ribs (and nuff nuff napkins) spread out in front a we. Time for the judging. We going Taste, Appearance and Sauce.

Appearance first. The Alabama ribs looked nice and juicy with a thick honey brown glaze giving them some shine. This running in the mud thing gave them the edge. We give them first place for appearance, Kansas 2nd, Florida bringing up the rear.

Taste. The Florida ribs are surprisingly juicy, good flavor too. Alabama ups the game though. Yeaaaa Haa!! Those good ol boys sure know them some barbeque. Soft, succulent, mouth watering good! Unfortunately the Kansas city flavor disappoints compared to the other two. Such is life.

Sauce. Once again Alabama on top.

Time to test again just to make sure. So 20 minutes and three big styrofoam containers of ribs later a winner emerged.

And the winner is .......Alabama. So if you're going to ribfest today or tomorrow Jdid and company endorse the Alabama ribbers. Just ask them to run it through the mud for ya!

Ok now I'm done, Going to go back into my swine coma right now. Lawd ave mercy! Meat overload!

Is pure lettuce and water for the rest of the week.

Caribana Again!

Yep its that time of year again. Caribana aka "the why do 2 million black men cruise Yonge St on friday night trying to pick up clearly under age chicks, whose parents should whoop their asses for being out in such skimpy outfits so late at night, while running from gun shots and getting harassed by po po" festival or "the Weekend when canadian cats have to pretend to be American to get any play from Canadian women weekend" festival. lol.

Once again no idea how this one is going to turn out with the route changes and the usual drama that surrounds the weekend. Not even sure I'm going to reach the parade tomorrow but if I do I'll come back with some more photos like these for you guys. One love.