Saturday, February 10, 2007

They say

My name is Ellie Mae from Mobile, Alabama
and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape
I been able to date outside the family, I got a double wide
And I row the plain, row the plain, row the plain

A.N.S in the video for Kayne West's New Work Out Plan

They say she dead.

That was probably the only thing they say that they were sure of.

They say she dead cause she lose 65 lbs quick quick quick soon after the baby born. They say woman bodies shouldn't be going through all that change so quick after baby born cause is all hormones and heap a woman business still going on as body trying to readjust itself after 9 months a pregnancy. That quick weight loss cant be proper they say especially since she ain't do it natural but use some sort of slim fast trim fast drug business to lose the weight. No star dat nuh right.

But no they say it wasnt the drugs it was Kayne's workout plan that make her lose the weight (see intro quote). But they still say the weight lost not natural and that is what kill her. Poor Kayne he a scapegoat fi everybody.

Then they say no it ain't the weight loss is that she had depression cause soon after the chile did born she first born dead under mysterious circumstances and dat added on to the post partum depression from the chile birth tek she over the edge. She just couldn't deal wid all the issues and dem kill her.

They say she do drugs, she did love off alcohol more than some a dem old fellas you wud see in a corner shop every day that have more rum in dem veins than blood.

Plus they claim say dem find powder in she room and it wasn't no Johnson & Johnson business like the old ladies duz put on dem face to go church wid or the young girls duz dash on dem bosom for when they walking down Broad Street. No sar! It was powder of a different kind. They say they tek it now to the lab for testing and wonder if Horatio from CSI-Miami a deal wid de case cause dem CSI bwoy would get to the bottom of this in under an hour.

Then they say no is somebody kill she. Murderation! They say rumor and speculation insist that she did onto something and somebody find she did on to this something and bram! just like she son went under mysterious circumstances a so she a go. They say is conspiracy like when X files did good. She get too close to the truth. They say if she did smart shewudda did do like granny say "See n Blind, Hear n Deaf". But no she musse talk out the business and de wrong somebody find out that she find out and dem silence her. Blouse n Skirt!

Then they say no it is to do with the case against her where somebody suing her and the diet company. They claim that the diet pillsnuh work like she claim say they work. They say diet pills more fraudulent than Miss Cleo (call me now!) Dem nuh do nuttin just tek foolish people money and mek other people rich. Yes that is what they say.

They say well she come from nothing and look how she end up. They say she was trying to be Marilyn Monroe but she lack de class. They say she cant walk in Marilyn high heels at all cause Marilyn was Marilyn. She was just a poor imitation or some big word I cant pronounce properly. A ca-ca-ca caricature or something so. I cant really be too sure if that is what they say cause I cant understanddem big word too good.

They say it was just all about the money for her. Yes she would do anything for money. Look how she marry off that old old fella that could be she great-grandfather and send 'im long to 'im grave early. Well if ya consider reaching 100 early. Then is over a decade now and still they say that she an the man pickney a fight over money. They say the man have more money than three Oprah Winfrey combine and so as she was the widow she want half. But the children say no the father never want she to have half and she only deserve alikkle piece no big 1/2 a billion dollars like the judge award she. That is what they say.

They say she was a real man eater just watch off the TV show wid her. They say she just run down nuff man on the television show to jump them bones. Doan ask me I never watch the show I just telling ya what they say. They say it was reality TV and if that was how she can go and get on with cameras following her about when you would figure she tone it down a bit imagine how crazy she must act when no camera around. They saynuff slackness a gwan on dat show. Mek me say I must try catch dat in rerun and see for myself what dem a talk bout. Just cause I don't like all the hearsay business I man prefer to see for myself and come to my own conclusion.

They say they no know who the pickney fadda! They say like she didn't know either. What a ting! She claim say is one man but another man claim it is his and now from what they say it look like two other man show up on the scene to claim to be the fadda too. They say she should a gwan on Maury and get a DNA test to figure that out before she dead. They say now chile will go through all set of legal issues and turn rag doll for people to fight custody battle over. Poor chile!

But is how come so many man a run say dem a de chile father they say? This must be the most wanted baby in the world! Cause ya know usually man duz be quick to say no it ain't mine, the chile never favor me, she trying to pin jacket pun me, I never sleep wid her, she lying, is not me is my twin brother from another mudda that wunnah never meet yet that pose off like me and get her pregnant. Yes they say man always have excuse for why dem not the chile fadda so it seem funny that so many man rushing up to claim fatherhood for this baby.

Oh wait they say. Yes the chile will inherit all the mudda money. Is just man look for quick money ting now. Alright den, that explain it.

Yea bwoy they say a whole heap a tings about her. They say she was a actress but she couldn't act. They say she was just one of them people that you wasn't quite sure why she was famous or why ya should care about her but she was always in the news.

They say so much about her that I know more about her now dead than when she was alive.

Well, they say she dead, they say nuff other things too but that was probably the only thing they say that they were sure of. Rumor & Speculation a so it a go!


Mad Bull said...

I am a little surprised at the way the Americans are going on over her myself... Yes, her death was a bit untimely, and perhaps it appears suspicious, but in the end, why are they going on like this is a top news story? Perhaps things are slow in the news now. After all, we done know say some people dead in Iraq everyday, is the actual number so interesting? I sure that people are switching to other channels, so this is big news!

Abeni said...

Over kill..I meant to do a lil post on it sometime later.Gotta love how the Fox news man kept saying Howard K Smith.

Jdid said...

@madbull - it was on the front page of probably every paper here. not sure why. it wasnt like she was that popular.

@abeni - definete overkill

Rose said...

It's something about her being so pitified and high and self destructive that draw folks to her. She was popular here for being a drughead and suing for all that money.

Campfyah said...

celebrity tabloids sell in the US, It's all about the ratings. It was all the speculation dat madeit such news..can you imagine the events, baby birth, son death, money inheritance and now she dead...

Jdid, you see why you should never consider retiring from blogging, only you could have done a blog on the issue in this way.. They Say...luv it!!!

ms. complexity said...

Chuh man, yuh woulda tink seh a Gawgie Bush did drop dung and give up di ghos di way CNN a cover dis ting ya. (leggo five steupse inna succession)...

Off topic - mi nuhknow how yuh can seh Chloe a di greatest. Greatest at being ANNOYING, I'll bet. Mi cyan stan' har! Look ya, tell mi seh if she get more bearable in the newer seasons, 'kay?

Crankyputz said...

That post was a Classic. I want to send it to everyone, u had me laughing so hard!

Feel sorry for the baby.

Amadeo said...

The only way this can be complete is if we make the kids life into a movie like The Truman Show.

Mighty Afroditee said...

They say is the Astronut woman did it, to turn the tabloid heat on to anudda topic.

dorna! said...

@ Amadeo: I wouldn't be suprised if the ink's drying on that deal,

Dr. D. said...

Bwoy, de media hype surrounding dis one was crazy nuh ra$$! Was sick of hearing about it in the few days I was in Florida last week. I won't say I am happy she died, but she was never a favourite of mine.

A classic example of US TV making news of what THEY want to!