Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Public Service Announcement

gal in a de punny printer! by far!
punny printer - panhead

Memo to all women:

There is an upper size limit to those of you that can successfully wear pum pum shorts and look good. Its just a fact accept it!

Like the white lady Friday, who weighing in at oh lets say somewhere from 195 to 220 on a 5 foot 5 frame got on my bus that morning. She din no young yam either so she should have known better than to be wearing those short, short white tight pum pum shorts and the green even tighter shirt that was barely covering her rather circular, protruding stomach.

Now don't get me wrong I not dissing the lady cause she was big. No not at all. Au contraire, in the right clothing she could have looked decent maybe even quite fetching actually cause she wasn't an ugly woman and there was something rather mesmerizing about watching her run ,with a swiftness belying her girth, across the road with parts jiggling in slow motion trying to hail down the bus driver. Or maybe mesmerizing is the wrong word to use there but I couldn't take my eyes off her cause I was really frighten that something was going to jiggle loose or dem tight pants were going to split as she sprinted and she would have embarrassed herself when the whole outfit buss off by the bus door and expose all her particulars.

And then ya know what? After she had successfully gotten onto the bus without mishap, now moving even closer to my line of sight so I could really see just how ridiculously tight the pants were, in fiddling in her bag for her bus tokens she dropped said tokens and something else from her bag.

Well to paraphrase Paul Keens, who tell she to do that? Next thing I know the woman bending over facing me. And I, the one day I didn't sit near the back of the bus cause I say I had too many bags and getting out before the station and didn't feel like lugging things all the way back there, silently screaming as I seeing what I aint suppose to see cause I don't know her like that, close close up to my face like I have high def, IMAX three-d, objects in the mirror are closer than they appear vision. Lawd ave mercy!

So now she bend over and her bottom staring at we and we can see things print out and colors of things underneath and what not and I there wondering to myself is what kinda space age, super tensile strength material dem shorts mek out of that stopping all dat from popping loose at de seams?

I don't know boy but I hear some loud snickers from the back where sitting were three lil force ripe young gals about 14 or 15 in too much makeup, including one who was juss juss talking two minutes before about how "her ex boy friend really knew how to work it". Lawd ave his mercy talk about jaw drop. cuhdear

But see what I mean? When you wear them sort of things like pum pum shorts as a big woman and I mean that in terms of both size and age and ya don't look decent or at least good , ya duz get laff at by even little pickney.

So as a public service announcement to that lady and others like her please, please, oh please use some discretion in dressing. Everything don't look good on everybody.

Now if you'll pardon me I'm still screaming silently inside wondering if jucking out muh eyeballs wud help, so I going to my therapy session. Oh the horror, the horror!

18 comments:

Melody said...

It woulda been cruel to tek a photo like others mighta done -- even more cruel to tell her to 'tuck een' har sides -- anyway she have more right to her skimpiness than de teens have to de activities they talkin' about.

Bush Babee said...

I truly feel your pain. Living in the dirty, dirty, I've seen my fair share of healthy women dressed like little girls.

I don't really understand the thought process when a woman picks up a pair of jeans and while zipping her pants with needle-nose pliers doesn't realize that this ain't a good fashion decision.

I just hope that the next time they get dressed someone is there to point out the error of there ways.

Peace.

Radmila said...

This is so much more common than it should be.

The upside is that her self-esteem is healthy. The downside is that she's scorching everyone's eyeballs.

LoveMyselfFirst said...

like they always say, just because they make it in your size, doesn't mean you should wear it.. too many people confuse sleasiness for sexiness.. you can be covered up and look sexy.. and compliment your figure.

scratchie said...

dwl dwl dwl...... I can always visualize your stories Jdid. Living here in Ja we have our own fair share of exactly the same thing. She is a brave soul.

GC said...

where can i get a pair?

Nikki said...

What a sight to uh, behold? Damn.

bakannal said...

OH LAWD!!! I mite mek a sensible comment wen i done dead from laffin.

Luke Cage said...

That is cruel and unnecessary roughness for our eyes J! Mannn, there ought'a be a law.

Deelze said...

LOL, too funny!!

I guess one size does not fit all!!

I know what you mean, I hate to see big women wearing what I like to term "skinny girl" clothes.

Wearing smaller sized clothes does not make you look smaller!

Leon said...

Who knows? Maybe someone fooled the poor saps into thinking they've still got it.

Fiyah said...

*chuckle*

But at least the woman has high self-esteem right?

Dutch Pot said...

OH lawd haf mercy. My home made frappuccino is all but all over the screen. You tell a story proper!!

Crankyputz said...

Ohh goodness.....

i'm petite and self concious that my shorts are too short, and here these big woman are marching along, rolls and jiggles proud....

Abeni said...

I can picture it..woman clearly feels she got it going on.Lett's just say she is a braver soul than me

One Man’s Opinion said...

You know you right. I can remember going on a call (I'm a police officer) and there was a heavy set female out in the apartment complex. Now I have nothing again heavy set anybody, but why was she wearing a shirt three sizes too small. I had thought it was one of those mid-drift shirts, because she just confortable with her size. As it turned out, the damn thing just keep rising over her stomach. I think it was trying to get away.

Forge said...

I'd think they'd be concerned about getting a yeast infection. Hummm...maybe they need the bread (nasty joke, forgive me).

inciquay said...

Bwahahahahahah! I see WAY WAY WAY too much of this in my hood! Healthy self esteem is no excuse...where are her friends? Family? Someone to tell her the truth about her big ass? Sheeet, I seen some small girls that looked um, let's say "disproportionate" in those shorts. They're best saved for the keeds!