Public Service Announcement

gal in a de punny printer! by far!
punny printer - panhead

Memo to all women:

There is an upper size limit to those of you that can successfully wear pum pum shorts and look good. Its just a fact accept it!

Like the white lady Friday, who weighing in at oh lets say somewhere from 195 to 220 on a 5 foot 5 frame got on my bus that morning. She din no young yam either so she should have known better than to be wearing those short, short white tight pum pum shorts and the green even tighter shirt that was barely covering her rather circular, protruding stomach.

Now don't get me wrong I not dissing the lady cause she was big. No not at all. Au contraire, in the right clothing she could have looked decent maybe even quite fetching actually cause she wasn't an ugly woman and there was something rather mesmerizing about watching her run ,with a swiftness belying her girth, across the road with parts jiggling in slow motion trying to hail down the bus driver. Or maybe mesmerizing is the wrong word to use there but I couldn't take my eyes off her cause I was really frighten that something was going to jiggle loose or dem tight pants were going to split as she sprinted and she would have embarrassed herself when the whole outfit buss off by the bus door and expose all her particulars.

And then ya know what? After she had successfully gotten onto the bus without mishap, now moving even closer to my line of sight so I could really see just how ridiculously tight the pants were, in fiddling in her bag for her bus tokens she dropped said tokens and something else from her bag.

Well to paraphrase Paul Keens, who tell she to do that? Next thing I know the woman bending over facing me. And I, the one day I didn't sit near the back of the bus cause I say I had too many bags and getting out before the station and didn't feel like lugging things all the way back there, silently screaming as I seeing what I aint suppose to see cause I don't know her like that, close close up to my face like I have high def, IMAX three-d, objects in the mirror are closer than they appear vision. Lawd ave mercy!

So now she bend over and her bottom staring at we and we can see things print out and colors of things underneath and what not and I there wondering to myself is what kinda space age, super tensile strength material dem shorts mek out of that stopping all dat from popping loose at de seams?

I don't know boy but I hear some loud snickers from the back where sitting were three lil force ripe young gals about 14 or 15 in too much makeup, including one who was juss juss talking two minutes before about how "her ex boy friend really knew how to work it". Lawd ave his mercy talk about jaw drop. cuhdear

But see what I mean? When you wear them sort of things like pum pum shorts as a big woman and I mean that in terms of both size and age and ya don't look decent or at least good , ya duz get laff at by even little pickney.

So as a public service announcement to that lady and others like her please, please, oh please use some discretion in dressing. Everything don't look good on everybody.

Now if you'll pardon me I'm still screaming silently inside wondering if jucking out muh eyeballs wud help, so I going to my therapy session. Oh the horror, the horror!