98 lb weakling

We had a conversation last night. The wife was complaining about the gym and how people duz stare at ya an don't speak and I had to let her know that the gym is like the airport, a simile which brought the usual look of bewilderment to her face like "wuhloss now. wha stupidness this man talkin atall? He like he gine off agin". But I explain it "Dem people at the gym and at de airport duz have dem different rules to the rest of the world."

Not that I saying that a fella duz have to walk through metal detectors at the gym cause if you gym like that chances are you going to the wrong gym. No, I was merely making a comparision of places which operate outside of real world rules and ya just got to abide with what ya duz experience and not mek fuss.

Like for instance at the airport everything duz be twice as expensive to eat as anywhere else.

As soon as ya hit the airport doors is like you in a different country, where devalued currency coupled with a severe food shortage conspire to make a lil' coffee that might cost around $1.50 anywhere else not named starbucks, cost $8.50 and a sandwich wid pieca dry up roast beef or tuna an some 3 day old wilted lettuce that you wouldn't even consider taking for free let alone buying under different circumstances is about 20 dollars. Ok, well I exaggerating a lil but is juss a lil. Dem prices duz be real expensive ya hear!

God help ya if hunger ever hold ya at the airport and you aint got a snack with ya, which they catching more of we wid now since they got them oppressive rules that you cant even bring two brown mints and a pack a corn curls pass security nuhmore. Like they feel you name Mcgyver and you would tek the mint wrapper mix it with the corn curl crumbs, suck the mint and spit out fire to react with the wrapper and crumbs and produce nerve gas or something so. I neva see so much stupidness and people frighten so in my life yet. Got ya can't even carry lil water or even lil milk fa de baby past the metal detector. chupse!

So you duz be stuck there wid ya mout dry, dry, dry if ya plane get delay and all you seeing to eat is these hard up looking sandwiches and pastries that seen better days staring at you and costing summuch money that you gotta think seriously about tekkin out a mortgage to buy a meal combo. Well lets see I can afford to send the chile to College or well I cud have some juice and a lil roast beef sandwich. Decisions, decisions!

So that is the airport. The gym on the other hand got different rules too but is people rules not food rules like the airport. At the gym everybody duz stare at everybody else and then they dont acknowledge ya. And if ya stare back they duz pretend they aint staring. Or they dont stare at you directly no more but they stare at you via the mirrors.

Like they watching your every move to laff if you doing a exercise wrong or you aint lifting as much as they are or they see you doing some variation on an exercise and trying to figure out if you know what you doing or not.

All dem duz do is stare, glare and peer. Especially the jock types that always in pairs and trios fooling around and thinking they so cool and the Lou Ferrigno looking fellas that huffing and puffing, clanking bout big weights wid nuff noise to gain attention and looking like they should be named in the Mitchell Report.

The women too! Dem duz stare at ya cause they feel you should be staring at them cause nuff a dem wearing some tight up thing, trying to tantalize man by showing off navel and have assets print out so like technical drawing ya can see hidden detail and perkiness peeking at ya. Trying to catch man attention that is all them trying to do you kno. Cause if ya look carefully at the interactions is only dem sorta women so that duz get in any conversation at the gym cause they looking and certain man wid a big twinkle in him eye and a smile showing off nuff teeth duz be at the ready to sweet talk them.

Not me bosie! sweet talk who? No I, I minding my business. I doan know the meaning of sweet talk. The wife say when sweet talk was sharing I come late and all was leff was mauby bitters.

So see me, I duz sit down, wid me headphones, an do me lil weight ting and doan feel no way bout a fella. I duz juss observe the rules in effect. Dem nuh worry me, me no bother dem.

Even like today when a young girl bout half my size come in, sit down next to me and proceed to out lift me on the same shoulder press I was doing by at least 20 lbs. Chupse!

Feel I care though, feel I going strike up conversation cause look how she mekkin me look weak and small and shame muh in front a all dese big man lifting 70 nuff pounds barbells like is a roll a toilet paper? And I there scrunting and grunting with two lil foo foo weights in my hand. Chupse!

Feel I went and get heavier weights to lift cause a she? Feel I in competition wid her or what?

Naa man I juss do my thing and pretend I not seeing her. Me an my lil light weight is good enough fa me. I aint going try an outlift her and get no goadies nor ketch no hernia ya hear! I happy wid my 98lb weakling self.