Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Feting is fundamental

This one takes the cake.

A woman in Trinidad, a state witness to some murder case, in some sort of protective custody leff the safe house the authorities were holding her in to go to a fete.

At the fete somebody hold on pun she an dem find she dead dead dead out in de open the next day.

Cheese on bread den! Do I really need to say any more?

Look I sorry but you would got to be a certain sort of igrant to leave protective custody to go to a fete. I mean who thinks to themself well boy I safe here in this safeouse but ya know where I wud be safer? Answer a big fete.

Not only that but when I read the story the second time I realize the woman left a safe house in Tobago and fly to Trinidad to fete! No local fete she went to she fly to a fete! this aint no local stupidity that is like crossing international borders to commit acts of stupidity. That is what ya duz call high class stupidity.

But imagine yourself in a safe house, under heavy manners cause you see a crime an you gotta testify. Now obviously you in a safe house cause somebody think you are in danger before you testify if not you could be in your own home chilling out eating some buss up shot drinking a Solo right.

Now would you be in said safehouse thinking "eh eh is saturday gurl, big fete up in the hill. chupse!, but is how dese police boy got me in hay an I missing a wine. ooh goosh is Machel playing? Well I not missing Machel fa nobody ya kno! oh gooossh nuh gurl I aint missing my wine fa no foolish case. Is Trinidad I going right right now."

So somebody call you and you say alright well is only lil protective custody ting, dat aint nuttin, it aint like I in danger cause is only a murder case I dealing wid so I going see alllya tonight at the fete.

Well I aint know bout anybody else but if I personally had to testify in any sorta case even if um was a jaywalking case I keeping my behind quiet. Fete wud got to miss. If I did see something so like a murder and had to testify I din gine even leff my house to go up the road to buy two doubles furthermore fly from Tobago to Trinidad. I wud be watching every shadow I see. In fact I din even peeping out the window, I wud be hiding under the bed wearing a topsy as a helmet just in case a bullet or a big rock miss an come through a window.

Ya think I kidding? Not me boy! I din going out like that at all. I woulda ask the police for bullet proof vests, protective coocoons, voice altering software, dark shades, wigs, bleaching creames, makeup artists and anything else them cud think of to change my appearance.

No boy fete would got to come to me but I din leffin that safe house so.

14 comments:

Ruthibelle said...

yes Jdid... this one takes the cake.

Olivia said...

LOL! Eediat ting dat alright!

Abeni said...

Lol,well you know a girl must fete even if it kills her

Rose said...

Sorry- but the way you wrote this is hilarious- bullet proof vest, bleaching cremes, voice altering equipment- you are something else but I would do the same. What was wrong with that girl? Okay fete or death - did she toss that in the air and choose like a coin toss? Poor child....

Will said...

no offense to anyone eh... but... ONLY a trinnie!!!

very funny post...

Stunner said...

LOL! This is funny and crazy! Well, I guess she fete herself to death!

Crankyputz said...

HAHHA! This is why you gotta love Trinis....dedication!

Mighty Afroditee said...

Live by the fete, e by the fete. She went out with a bang! No one can fault the poor 'ooman fi dat! It is after all, the wining season.

She went to pelt waist, and met a killa waist? The wining kila? She dead wid wine?

Urban Sista said...

LOL!! She lose she life fuh a fete? Chupse. Dat is what we does call, natural selection.

AirBourne said...

Yuh leff out a category to put this under - big slap, but then she get the biggest slap of all, huh?

They gonna have to change that song now - "...too much fete never kill a man yet..." as that is NOT true, since fete CAN kill yuh, LOL!

Jacqueline Smith said...

*chuckling* Right on target Abeni.

Mad Bull said...

Cho, she did young. Young people feel invincible. And also, girls just wanna have fun.

Mad Bull said...

Okay, she was 29. Should have started getting a sense of her own mortality by then.

From the news story : "McKenzie, a mother of four, lived alone in an apartment on Central Street, Vistabella. The landlady said she knew nothing of the whereabout of McKenzie.

None of McKenzie's children, all boys ranging in ages from five to 12, lived with her.".

Okay, I get it. She was sort of careless. And also, like I said.... girls just wanna have fun.

What kind of safe house was she in that friends knew where to call her?

And also, I wonder if the friend is locked up now? Maybe the friend got a money to lure her out? Hmmm....

Guyana-Gyal said...

What surprised me was that she had so many children...they didn't live with her.

And her friend knew where she was, and could lure her out.

I agree with MB...she lived carelessly.