Feting is fundamental

This one takes the cake.

A woman in Trinidad, a state witness to some murder case, in some sort of protective custody leff the safe house the authorities were holding her in to go to a fete.

At the fete somebody hold on pun she an dem find she dead dead dead out in de open the next day.

Cheese on bread den! Do I really need to say any more?

Look I sorry but you would got to be a certain sort of igrant to leave protective custody to go to a fete. I mean who thinks to themself well boy I safe here in this safeouse but ya know where I wud be safer? Answer a big fete.

Not only that but when I read the story the second time I realize the woman left a safe house in Tobago and fly to Trinidad to fete! No local fete she went to she fly to a fete! this aint no local stupidity that is like crossing international borders to commit acts of stupidity. That is what ya duz call high class stupidity.

But imagine yourself in a safe house, under heavy manners cause you see a crime an you gotta testify. Now obviously you in a safe house cause somebody think you are in danger before you testify if not you could be in your own home chilling out eating some buss up shot drinking a Solo right.

Now would you be in said safehouse thinking "eh eh is saturday gurl, big fete up in the hill. chupse!, but is how dese police boy got me in hay an I missing a wine. ooh goosh is Machel playing? Well I not missing Machel fa nobody ya kno! oh gooossh nuh gurl I aint missing my wine fa no foolish case. Is Trinidad I going right right now."

So somebody call you and you say alright well is only lil protective custody ting, dat aint nuttin, it aint like I in danger cause is only a murder case I dealing wid so I going see alllya tonight at the fete.

Well I aint know bout anybody else but if I personally had to testify in any sorta case even if um was a jaywalking case I keeping my behind quiet. Fete wud got to miss. If I did see something so like a murder and had to testify I din gine even leff my house to go up the road to buy two doubles furthermore fly from Tobago to Trinidad. I wud be watching every shadow I see. In fact I din even peeping out the window, I wud be hiding under the bed wearing a topsy as a helmet just in case a bullet or a big rock miss an come through a window.

Ya think I kidding? Not me boy! I din going out like that at all. I woulda ask the police for bullet proof vests, protective coocoons, voice altering software, dark shades, wigs, bleaching creames, makeup artists and anything else them cud think of to change my appearance.

No boy fete would got to come to me but I din leffin that safe house so.