Monday, April 06, 2009

Facial therapy

I always wonder about the people that design cosmetic products for men. And by cosmetics I not talking no makeup I mean like creams and lotions and hair products and the like cause it seems to me like the cosmetic companies duz put nuff nuff money into producing and marketing all sorta items to women who they see as a discerning bunch with plenty money to spend to look pretty pretty but then they duz juss quickly slap together some residue in the lab and market it to men.

Case in point. You ever notice that any type of facial cream or face wash or after shave business that marketed towards a man duz all stan a certain way? Don't let them fool ya! They duz market them off with sporting icons and the like and use words like cool and refreshing and brisk and chilling and show you people jumping in pools and muscular six pack fellas with nice hair and pronounced faces rubbing their chin and splashing on the product looking like some Adonis and you duz feel that the product nice nice. Well if so n so use this it might be saying something you think.

Then you try the thing and ya duz realize that all them sort of words so to excite ya with visions of nice sea breezes and fresh air is nothing but code words meaning burn and sting.

Is like dese people feel that we faces mek outta old leather. (Which reminds me, I remember one time them had a certain shampoo that say when ya feel the tingle that mean it working. Well boy tingle was code word for when ya feel like somebody slap ya in ya head wid a Molotov cocktail and ya scalp on fire and you run screaming from the shower that means its working.)

I feel dese lab fellas dont test these products properly. They duz test on animals like dragons or armadillos or rhinoceroses or something so or they duz use some old fella that he been testing these products since 1934 when he face get burn off in an industrial incident or something so and he aint got nuh sorta nerves endings in he skin left.

Cause dem products marketed to men duz be harsh harsh harsh. Well not all but quite a lot of them. But then that is what ya get when you look and see who duz produce some of these products. People that make razor blades shouldn't be making no creams and lotions, people dat duz mek athletic gear (I mean wunnah Adidas) shouldn't be diversifying into no body wash.

Them fella dont have no clue!

Anyways I growing a beard. Done wid all that burning off my face.

11 comments:

Ruthibelle said...

That's funny... I remember a time when I used to envy men the Gilette experience... (weird, yes, I know, but well, watch the ad and then um *try the aftershave*)

I actually like some men's products more than the women brands. Sometimes they honestly smell nicer and last longer and work better... *and get more compliments*

I guess you hafta be a man to know ... LOL :)

Abeni said...

I would like someting for my face all now..Imagine I never had acne trouble but now in my old age is break outs..sigh

Ian Bourne said...

I have not laughed so hard in a long time - dat shampoo? Was 'um Denorex? If so, co-sign my bro'!

Aveeno is a good cream 4 shaving in truth, though! Use Simple cream as lotion after and I apply cologne only on lower neck and upper outside arms, thus avoiding hotspots.

Stunner said...

So true Jdid! I think we just get the whatlef stuff they just whipped up together. Do you notice how all of the male shower gels smell basically the same way? No little effort I tell you.

Jdid said...

Ian , Denorex should be banned. is like somebody put agent orange in a bottle or something so. I made the mistake of buying Denorex once and only once and when that thing hit my scalp I coulda turn off the water in the shower and bathe myself wid de amount a eye water I cry that day.

I really hope to God them fella get a new formula or gone outta business by now.

nahmix said...

strangely, have considered using a facial product designed for a woman? It might say made for a woman, but I'm convinced any number of women's facial products would be gentle enough for a man!

Mad Bull said...

Bwoy, Jdid, you mek me laff till I weak with this post! Respeck.
Anyway, re shaving, I use the shaving gels... they work well, no burn. Deodorants are a must, however, I useth not such fancy stuff like colognes, creams, or any of that facial stuff.
Stunner, bath gels? Fi wah? Plain old soap stop mek? Dem do di job for me, star.

Will said...

@ ruthibelle: huh... a little subtle penis envy there??? :-P oh lord sparks go fly now...

you know jdid... just between you and me and the internet... oil of olay is a great after shave lotion... especially when you live in a winter land and yo skin does dry out in de cole...

Guyana-Gyal said...

Try waxing...

...hehe...

...hehehe...

heh.

Crankyputz said...

All ya'll need is the aftershave....Grrrrrr!

Rose said...

Men stuff sorta all smell the same for me but are you sure you are not a comedian.