Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Who Gabby tink he is

Barbados’ newly crowned calypso monarch has been charged less than 24 hours after allegedly beating a media personality.

Anthony ‘Gabby’ Carter is expected to appear in court sometime this week, accused of assaulting television and radio host, Anthony ‘Admiral’ Nelson last night, backstage the Cohobblopot show.

Well imagine mi surprise when I see this in mi email this marnin. Gabby one a we bajan top calypso exponents and 9 time calypso monarch as well as former cultural ambassador (we like we duz choose a very lotta igrant people fa cultural ambassador ya) charged fa beating up de Admiral. Well well well!

Poor Gabby. Most winners dese days duz pompasset talking bout dem gine Disney world after them win titles and championships but um looking like you gine jail afta you win this monarchy. lawd ave is mercy!

I was hoping that Boyce Voice wudda had a lil write up pun this doah cause he is a true kaiso an crop over man an ting an ting so wid nuff pedigree while I aint even reach pot-starver status yet when um come to calypso but he aint got nuttin write up yet so I gotta get in mi lil say.

Cuhdear Gabby say um aint so, tell muh is a fella that look like you or ya get set up by a West Indian politician. How you a big 62 year old, old man almost ready fa pension gine let a foolish poppit like Admiral get you in truble so? Man ya mek mi shame. Looka I gine gotta teach you my rule ya. If ya reach 25 an nuhbody aint lock ya up or ya aint get in nuh trouble wid police and de law, mek sure ya aint doing nuttin afta dat age to get in truble wid de possiblility a lock up ya kno. Leff de bad boy-ism ting fa de young boys.

An Admiral how you let a old man like Gabby that musse weight bout 80 pounds beat you? Wha ya mek mi shame! Wha happen you scheming pun trying to get the man new car that he win at the competition or wha? Cause really an truly Gabby aint nuh big muguffy fella dat cud beat up nuhbody so. In fact only body in bajan kaiso smaller than Gabby is that Khiomal fella from Krosfyah that look like he weigh less dan a crocus bag a flour and Ras Iley who weigh bout 70lbs but 50 a dem is from the dread locks pun he head. A lie?

Anyways yea Admiral how you let Gabby ruff you up so man. Big mout man like you couldnt defend yaself against a small man like Gabby or this is juss a mek up something cause I see a video deyso wid you talking afta the incident an you din look like nuh man dat hol nuh liks in truth. Ya claim the man rip up ya shirt but if you did wearing a flimsy material shirt from swan street an um mash up when the man touch ya doan run now an hollaring fa assault ya.

An Gabby man, big cultural icon like you. Model kaisoman wid lyrics fa days, man wha he do to mek you had to resort ta this an mek the man run to Dr Cassandra. Looka looka wha ya do to the Admiral? Wha happen he tief you chicken an ram or he say you name pun the list? Wha happen man. He did want u faget bout Emmerton nuh. Alright bosie.

But Admiral in he 40s and Gabby is in he 60s. Two a dem aint nuh spring chickens so I doan kno wha wrong wid dese older people. This kaiso music like um duz go to dem heads and lead dem to crime, indoctrinating dem into what may be the beginning of a cycle of violence. From de time Gabby was singing bout (army) Boots and Hit it and Gryner bout "I gine rip ya pants an you gine feel I is a nest a ants" an even David Rudder was askin where the Man wid de Hammer gone I say to myself looka how dese fellas got summuch violent lyrics doah. I did kno tings did getting outta hand wid de negative images in my sweet calypso music but I thought that the recent new jump an wave music did get we outta dat rut. :-)

Last year Boyce did feuding wid de odda Madd men, this year Site get cruel an leff de competition now this. Next ting ya soon wud be hearing that Plastic Bag an Mac put a righteous ragga ragga lashing pun Blood or John King or somebody so.

Looka I did always warnin wunnah that this calypso ting din nuh good fa de old people wid all this feuding (beef) and people complaining bout who the dj playing come crop over an who is a shareholder come competition time an ting so. It set a bad precedent man. Nuff wuhlessness too. Sexism and misogyny and violence. We muss do better as a society to keep our old people away from de influence of that sorta ruck tuck cause looka wha um mek Gabby do now. Dat calypso music aint nuh good at all at all at all, all um like um want banning from the airwaves before we lose our elders and role models. I dun.


Empath said...

This is a hilarious post. I am loving all of the Gabby song references too. I read about the rumble on line and I watched an interview with Admiral about the incident. He didn't seemed at all mashed up, but maybe he suffers deeply on the inside.
Gabby must have been really, really, mad for him to behave that way.
Plus Admiral was rather scathing in the way that he talked about some of the finalists. And it isn't detailed music and lyric critique. He sounded like a lot of Vincy Djs do when they don't like a particular artist.
That being said, Gabby is too grown for that though. I have a lot of admiration for him, but he shouldn't have allowed Admiral to get to him.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Gabby shoulda write a baaaaad song with a catchy tune, insulting the media man, that is what Gabby shoulda do.

The song woulda have a lasting impression, the media man woulda been the laughing stock forever, the song woulda become a hit all over the Caribbean, which woulda make the media man a laughing stock all over the Caribbean.

And Gabby woulda make some $$ off it.

AirBourne said...

Admiral in his FORTIES? Whey so? Cat years? That is insulting 2 felines d'en! Man in him early **50's** pleeez! He is a Bajan Bill O'Reilly - he'd make the Pope curse too! He my pal but he needs to apply some manners in his show 4 real!

Abeni said...

lol you had me in stitches here.They actually fought and over what?