Wednesday, August 31, 2011


I had to read it twice cause um din mek nuh sorta sense to muh

Last night I was filling out some standard insurance type medical forms. Big setta yes and no intrusive questions to answer: do you have hypertension, diabetes, aids, cancer, a nail juk, ya back brek, ya toe chop off, fingernails brek, teeth falling out, one foot longer dan de next, ya duz drink, anybody ever refer to ya in passing as a crack baby, every snort coke, ya on medication, ya on alternative medication, ya walk pass a pharmacy last week, been bitten by a vampire, believe in Obeah, see a steel donkey pun ya roof, been kidnapped by aliens.

And basically if ya ever answer yes to any one a dem questions lawd help ya cause is a whole heap a extra info and 20 other forms ya have to fill out after that.

So anyways what got me was that huddled in the midst of the yes or no questions was one that said have you  visited a physician in the past 5 years.

But wait?? Wha kinda yes or no question that is? Wha most people including muhself will have to truthfully answer yes to that which then necessitates filling out a braiffle a extra forms all because I went to a doctor in the last five years. Wha dat aint mek nuh sorta sense at all.

To be honest dem shud be glad I gine an get myself chek up. Now if I go an answer I aint been to no doctor in the last five years now there I think I would be a problem possibly a liability cause I aint gine got nuh clue whether I got the hypertension, diabetes, aids, cancer, back brek, toe chop off, one foot longer dan de next, been bitten by a vampire or kidnapped by aliens. Well I guess I would know if I get kidnap by aliens but still

So poor me now gotta answer another 20 pages a forms all cause I went to a doctor in the last 5 years. Wha kinda madness is that. 


derevolushun said...

That *same* thing happened to me when I was filling out a form to get insurance through my work. My supervisor told me just ticket "no" to everything.

Michael Moore's "Sicko" was in my head, he said insurance companies have entire departments dedicated to unconvering any mistakes/lies/untruths on your forms as grounds to revoke payment if you file a claim.

So with that and honest I guess I tick "yes". I get a whole set of forms to fill out and carry to my doctor. Do I get around it it? No. More years uninsured. :(

Happy form filling!

Guyana-Gyal said...

Did you wear clean underwear? Y'know that is what your mother would tell you!

chrome said...

trust the insurance industry is the real vampire squid. I remember painfully filling out forms to join my company's group health insurance scheme. out of curiosity I read some the terms and conditions, turns I'd literally have to be dead to get anything out of them. all sorts of "when you can claim" clauses, scary

Jdid thanks for the native tongue link. that Trackstar the DJ is mean as f**k on the 1s and 2s, check out the Pete Rock & Camp Lo mixtape "80 blocks from Tiffany's" - - fiyah blaze!