Pink Caddy

She was driving a big mout car. Car mout suh big that is bout three minutes between when you first see the headlights and when you see the driver. A big, big, long pink cadillac!

I wonder how that car mout get suh big though? Must be like when as a chile and ya mudda tell ya doan push up ya mout or it will stan push up for good. Well this car musse push up it mout as a chile car and it just stick so cause the car mout long, long, long like an alligator wun.

Must be one of the first times I ever see one of them on the road too. I thought dem Cadillacs so was Hollywood cars? I didn't know people drove dem in real life. Color remind me of the suit Nas was wearing in the video for Street Dreams. Bright bright so!

So see she turning the corner as I walked through Kensington Market heading back to Spadina.

She? Well she was some hippy looking, notty dread locks want washing, white girl in a tank top dat could barely see over the dashboard properly. So see she turn the corner and driving down the road slow, slow, slow cause I guess if ya driving a pink cadillac its written in within the warranty and license that ya can only go suh fast or ya not doing justice to the vehicle.

As if driving something suh big and suh pink aint gettin' ya enough attention.

Anyways she moseying down the road, peep over the dashboard and notice that a few pigeons was in the road ahead of she. Bout five of them just deyso peck peck pecking away

Ya know what the foolish girl start doing? She start honking she horn. Pramp , Pramp, Pramp, Pramp, Pramp!

At first I thought there was traffic ahead a she dat I din see and she trying to honk at dem but no she honking at birds. chupse!

And she slow down to less than a crawl now and peeping over the dashboard past the car long mout trying to peep at the pigeons. But the pigeons ain't paying no real attention to the Pramp Pramp and she just disturbing the peace cause they still in the road picking at whatever invisible dust it is on the road that duz fascinate pigeons so and dem only backing off slightly when the big wheels of the long mout car get too close.

She couldn't be pramp pramping at me, the pigeons musse was thinking to themselves. She gotta recognize that we dont answer to nuh pramp, pramp, pramp. Maybe she cud get way wid talking to blackbirds or sparrows or wood doves like dat but ya gots to come correct when ya addressing we ...........

So all she doing is peeping and Pramp Pramping, adding to the usual noise pollution of the market instead a driving through the foolish pigeons.

I get a good view a she as I get closer cause she was only bothering my head wid de long lotta loud noise. pramp pramp pramp on the horn like the horn gine outta style. She getting on like she forget that dem is birds and they can fly away if and when they really they want.

She look like one a dem sorta hippy, duz smoke nuff weed, I love the earth and the animals are my brothers and sisters and I wouldn't so much as eat a chicken leg cause it would pain me to think that the one time I eat pieca de colonel's secret recipe I deprive a one legged chicken somewhere in need of a leg transplant of its one chance at lasting happiness types.

You ever meet dem yet? De wuns dat duz dread dem hair cause they feel that locks make them closer to mother earth somehow. Either that or they frighten fa a comb! All dum duz usually end up wid some big, ugly, hardback rasta man dat no decent respectable woman white , black, brown or green wud give the time of day to. Some musty want bathing fella wid a name like I-vexwidsociety or I-cantevenspellmynameproperly or I this that an de third. And next ting ya see two a dum walking de streets wid three or four hard headed pickneys running bout the place............

But anyways she deyso gine on bout the place wid de pramp pramp thing getting people tired enough a de long mout pink car and the pigeons barely egging she on backing back slow slow giving she their best we will move when we good and ready to move intimidatory looks and laughing at she cause they realize how they making she look like a real jackass.

Eventually someone shouted out "Just drive, they will move when they want to." That like that wake she out of she trance cause she look over at the sidewalk to see who had spoken. Was a fella from one a de stores moving some piece of furniture or shelf on the sidewalk. "Don't worry about them, Dem could fly ya kno!"

And it finally clicked with her so she moved on picking up pace again back to her slow I want you to look at me in this pink caddy pace.

As for the pigeons, to be honest to me dem aint worth wha paddy shot at. I think they survive but I couldn't be bothered to look back and see fa true.

New Flow

Recently I've seen a few articles (including this one) complaining about the change in programming on Flow 93.5 FM here in Toronto. From primarily an Urban station format, Flow has apparently morphed into a top 40 station and some folk here are up in arms.

I really don't see why all of the hoopla over Flow. I mean in my opinion we were all hoodwinked on this station from the inception anyways.

Back in the day, read 10 years ago, Toronto, gasp, didn't have its own homegrown urban station. Say it wasn't so? No it was so! We had WBLK straight out of Buffalo instead and the reception for that station was spotty at best. You could pick it up in Scarborough not so well downtown etc etc. Mind you BLK as it was known loved Toronto, after all they were getting paid off Toronto focused advertising, something like 60% of total revenue at the time I had heard. We in Toronto did have though and continue to have some excellent urban and black oriented programming on local college radio; CKLN, CIUT, CHRY.

Anyway at that point in came Mr Denham Jolly of Milestone Radio with his proposal to the CRTC for an urban, at that time read black, station and his complaints that the CRTC had kept turning him down (3 times actually) and how it was a shame that a major city like Toronto didn't have an urban station. Which it was by the way!

The urban, read black, public bought his argument and threw their support behind his cause and in 2000 Toronto and Mr Jolly finally got the CRTC to see the light and sometime early in 2001 Toronto had its own urban station. Flow 93.5 FM.

They started well. Grabbed up a bunch of local community radio personalities (Somebody send out an S.O.S for my man DJ X) to fill some slots and we the public thought it was on and popping. Finally!

Except that what should have been cause for real celebration wasn't really in my opinion. See the black community had thrown its support behind Mr Denham because most of us naively thought we would be getting the equivalent of the community radio shows on this new urban station but more of it. All day long, we had envisioned as opposed to those late night time slots that we had on the community radio. We were picturing 24-7 hip hop, rnb , calypso, reggae, jazz and programming speaking to the needs and desires of the urban read black populace.

Yea sure in the back of our minds we knew that BLK an urban station as well didn't do that but BLK wasn't that bad and we thought Flow being all based in Toronto would cater more to the needs of the unique mix that is Toronto's urban population.

What we got instead wasn't even sorry was nowhere near as good as BLK and is what I refer to as BET radio. The same 10 or 20 tunes played ad nauseam in slightly different sequences for the whole day. I personally still remember hearing John Legend's Used to love U about 5 times in a 40 min trip from downtown to Scarborough a few years back.

Oh don't get me wrong though we did get a few bones thrown our way to appease us. Our little calypso show on Sunday evenings and the occasional reggae (read nuff nuff nuff Sean Paul) and the late, late night real underground hip hop but prime time and the rest of the day for the most part was just like watching 106 & Park with a few exceptions, big up Starting From Scratch.

In my opinion the station never lived up to our expectations or desires. Of course maybe we were a bit too idealistic. Its cool to have that urban station but the majority of us who supported the application back in the day I'm pretty sure if you ask us 7 years later this is not what we expected or in some cases were led to believe the station would be like.

A so it go sometimes, the argument being that the format we envisioned wouldn't make the money required to run a successful business. Got to market the station and get a broader base and I guess playing the same 10 rnb and hip hop songs does that. Its all about that C.R.E.A.M still ain't it?

So no I don't see what folks are getting all upset about. It doesn't really matter if Flow starts playing Madonna and Britney now cause they let us down from the inception. This is not what we had in mind when late in the last millennium we talked excitedly about having an urban station or signed petitions to enhance Mr Jolly's claims. Flow used us and sold us out but we were naive and idealistic so its not totally their fault. After all what did we know about urban stations, it was all new ground for us. How were we to know that Urban radio meant the same playlist over and over until we actually think we like the tunes being played.

Still like I Said Top 40 or BET radio makes no damn difference to me. I don't listen anymore. Give me the community shows. Big up Worldwide, big up Masterplan, big up Mixtape Massacre, big up Morning Ride. Flow, new Flow who cares.