Deep Freeze

Happy new year everyone.

Well we here in North America getting lik up with these cold temperatures. Is not only up here in Canada but even way down in the US they getting polar vortex effect that got places like Kentucky and Georgia bawling fa blue murder from the cold.

Up here in Toronto since the new year we have had ice, snow, and then cold temperatures alternating. If it ain't one trying to kill ya is de next.

Manners vs Weather

Yea I been MIA but I still around just busy. Hope allya my 3 or 4 devoted readers are well. :-)

Well people we here in Toronto getting lash wid de cold these past few days. I mean every since last week with just a little respite over the weekend it been cold cold cold. I mean winter aint even officially start yet and we all down in windchill of -24 Celcius which is weather usually reserved for the bitterly cold days of late January and early February.

So thank God for layers cause without layers I would dun have frostbite and freeze to death already. See me walking bout looking like the goodyear blimp but doan feel no way fashion takes a backseat to warmth in these cold days.

But I notice a thing on the way in to work the last few days. The colder or worse the weather, the more unmannerly, piggish the people on the streets commuting to work duz get. Doan matter if dem driving on the bus or subway or walking is like everybody like dem put on dem hog suit when dem get up in de marnin. Lawd ave mercy, a fella near lik muh down pushing to get to the train this morning an he aint even say sorry, beg ya pardon, my dog my cat nuttin so. Just bram push guhlong. Chupse!

Anyways since people nowadays duz get all sorta big money to study and prove all sorta stupid things that anybody wid common sense know since birth I figure I should apply for some grant money to study this hoggish phenomenon. I gine start writing up something pretty pretty wid big words like positive correlation and statistical analysis and covariance an effect and hand it in an see if dem gi muh two coppers to do my study.

I mean it sometimes seem like dem duz gi muney to people to do studies like if ya stan out in the hot sun too long ya stand a chance a ketching heatstroke and rain duz only fall from the sky not come out the ground, stupid stupid things so. So why not let me do my lil study to find conclusive proof bout this unmannerly people thing.

A mean an if I juss so happen to use some a de money for a trip to the Caribbean during winter I could always say that I comparing and contrasting the niceness factor of people in the Caribbean warmth to the unmannerly hogs up hay in the cold. Ya feel I in the caribbean pun vacation no man I juss being through wid my study. Juss cause I would be deyso sipping a pretty drink wid an umbrella sprawl out in the sun doan get vex an think I aint wukkin or that I enjoying pieca sun. No man this is hard wuk I would be doing doan grudge de I. I just being thorough in trying to prove mi hypothesis.

Oh well if only!

Dirty Spring

Hurray for warmer weather! Couldnt come too soon in my opinion. Brutal winter we've had. Cold to rattle the bones!
My only complaint about warmer weather is the initial dirt that we see when the snow melts. Its like everyone has emptied their garbage under the snow and now with the melt we see it all: Cans, fast food paper bags, coffee cups, bottles etc etc. Yuck!

And it dont stop

I remember a few years back there was this light hearted email floating around about this Jamaican who moved up North and his perception of snow and winter.

November 19th - 2 degrees outside! More rahtid snow. Not a tree or shrub in our yawd that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. "Blouse and skirt" got mi first heating bill, Tried to keep from freezing to death wid candles and kerosene heater, tipped over and nearly burn the rahtid house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. Car slid on the white s*** on the way to the hospital and was a write-off.

November 20th - Rahtid white ting keeps coming down! I have to put on all the clothes I own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch the **** that drives that rahtid snowplough, I gwine mek him mumma feel it. I think he hides around the rahtid corner and wait for me to finish shovelling, then comes down the street at about 160km/hr and cover up wi driveway again. Rahtid power still off.

November 21st - Twelve more centimetres of rahtid snow and rahtid ice and God knows what other kind of rahtid white s*** fell last night. I wounded the rahtid snow plough with the pick,but the driva got away. The wife took off and left me. The rahtid car won't start and I think I'm going rahtid snow-blind. I can't move my rahtid toes, haven't seen the bomboclaat sun in weeks and there's more rahtid snow predicted. Wind chill is 30 rahtid degrees below rahtid zero!!

November 22nd - Me a move back to JA cause dis ya place a go kill mi!

Well boy the last few weeks I sort of feel that way cause winter has been rough this year.

I mean I've been here a good few years and this winter just seems to have the most precipitation I've ever see. We literally getting wash way in snow. And I not just complaining about having to shovel it although that is a major part of my complaint but is also hard to walk and drive and basically do anything useful in.

An dont mind dem tv people that talking about how this is a normal winter and we had mild winters the last few years and get soft. Is lie dem tell! True we had milder than normal winters the last two or so years but even stretching back the last ten years, ignoring the ice storm in 99 0r was it 2000, we never had so much snow so bunched together. So I have a real issue when they call this abnormal weather normal.

I mean lets see, we had mildish weather a few days in January and the snow melt, then all a sudden we had snowstorm two Fridays ago. I mean all day snow, snow that tek me three trips to shovel, snow that mek nuff people had car accidents and nuff businesses close down for the day snow. Snow that they say if ya dont need to leave home dont leave type of snow.

Then more snow the Tuesday and Wednesday after that, then last Friday - Saturday and now today. And is not like how some snow duz come and hit the ground and poof disappear. No this thing sticking and then getting icy and got people stumbling around on the sidewalk.

Look I dun more shovelling in a week than the average poli-trickson when he running for office and this thing still aint stopping. I see people with snow piles that bout two three times my height. I personally dig out the driveway and the snow so high that it got one of my trees looking like a shrub now.

Anyway I wasting time with all this chat, let me go shovel some more so I can leff the house in the morning.