Tuesday, February 12, 2008

And it dont stop

I remember a few years back there was this light hearted email floating around about this Jamaican who moved up North and his perception of snow and winter.

November 19th - 2 degrees outside! More rahtid snow. Not a tree or shrub in our yawd that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. "Blouse and skirt" got mi first heating bill, Tried to keep from freezing to death wid candles and kerosene heater, tipped over and nearly burn the rahtid house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. Car slid on the white s*** on the way to the hospital and was a write-off.

November 20th - Rahtid white ting keeps coming down! I have to put on all the clothes I own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch the **** that drives that rahtid snowplough, I gwine mek him mumma feel it. I think he hides around the rahtid corner and wait for me to finish shovelling, then comes down the street at about 160km/hr and cover up wi driveway again. Rahtid power still off.

November 21st - Twelve more centimetres of rahtid snow and rahtid ice and God knows what other kind of rahtid white s*** fell last night. I wounded the rahtid snow plough with the pick,but the driva got away. The wife took off and left me. The rahtid car won't start and I think I'm going rahtid snow-blind. I can't move my rahtid toes, haven't seen the bomboclaat sun in weeks and there's more rahtid snow predicted. Wind chill is 30 rahtid degrees below rahtid zero!!

November 22nd - Me a move back to JA cause dis ya place a go kill mi!

Well boy the last few weeks I sort of feel that way cause winter has been rough this year.

I mean I've been here a good few years and this winter just seems to have the most precipitation I've ever see. We literally getting wash way in snow. And I not just complaining about having to shovel it although that is a major part of my complaint but is also hard to walk and drive and basically do anything useful in.

An dont mind dem tv people that talking about how this is a normal winter and we had mild winters the last few years and get soft. Is lie dem tell! True we had milder than normal winters the last two or so years but even stretching back the last ten years, ignoring the ice storm in 99 0r was it 2000, we never had so much snow so bunched together. So I have a real issue when they call this abnormal weather normal.

I mean lets see, we had mildish weather a few days in January and the snow melt, then all a sudden we had snowstorm two Fridays ago. I mean all day snow, snow that tek me three trips to shovel, snow that mek nuff people had car accidents and nuff businesses close down for the day snow. Snow that they say if ya dont need to leave home dont leave type of snow.

Then more snow the Tuesday and Wednesday after that, then last Friday - Saturday and now today. And is not like how some snow duz come and hit the ground and poof disappear. No this thing sticking and then getting icy and got people stumbling around on the sidewalk.

Look I dun more shovelling in a week than the average poli-trickson when he running for office and this thing still aint stopping. I see people with snow piles that bout two three times my height. I personally dig out the driveway and the snow so high that it got one of my trees looking like a shrub now.

Anyway I wasting time with all this chat, let me go shovel some more so I can leff the house in the morning.

4 comments:

Melody said...

This post reminds me of how Stunner welcomed de snowfall in NY some weeks ago -- his mood was de exact opposite of yours:)

Campfyah said...

Hold tight Jdid, I gonna send yuh some botteled Sout Miami sunshine..
wha dah address again?

Leon said...

Don't know about all that snow talk, but it sounds like that email was written by a non-Jamaican lampooning Jamaicans. There's too much proper English sprinkled between the patois and Jamaicans don't say "rahtid" that much.

r-dean said...

This is how winter was from way back in the day. when it first snowed in Novemeber - and snow stayed on the ground straight until march ;-)