Monday, May 14, 2007

Samson

So been trying to do the father thing for a while now. Whole bunch of repetitive teaching and saying No like 30,000 times per day but the yout now has about 5 or 6 words down including the words yellow (Who says pointing out every single yellow school bus on the road every morning for the past six weeks doesn't pay off)and duck.

Been doing a lot of reading to him as well as part of the whole teaching thing. I read pretty much anything that's at hand, newspaper sports page, sports illustrated, Newsweek, children's books, Bible. Also been forcing him to watch Jeopardy with me in the evenings before bed. Let me tell you I was pretty disappointed that his first words were not communicated in the form of question. He loss points from me for that.

Bought a pretty cool children's Bible when I was in Barbados at Christmas (the one's we saw here just weren't that great plus they were mega expensive) so we read that daily trying to do one story per week. Realized at some point though that some of their interpretations were a bit off on a couple of stories (just slightly off but off nevertheless) though so I'm going to have to vet everything before we read it. Cant be giving the chile wrong information and messing up his head so early although his mother did point out that I was wearing a yellow hat today when clearly the color of the hat was more a deep gold verging on orange. See what I duz have to work with? The woman undermining my hard work!

Plus she always finding fault. "How you gine read the chile de stories and ain't got nuh sound effects?" Sound effects? Chupse! Ya feel I name synthesizer? Or ya think I look like C-3P0? (In case you don't get it line remember the scene in Return of the Jedi when C-3P0 is bringing the Ewoks up-to-date with the story.)

Anyway I ignore she!

So today we reach the story of Samson. Allya remember that one? Strong man, mess with the wrong woman, haircut, brought down the roof yada yada yada. I trying the sound effects thing too. Explosions like c-4 at ya door and Jet Li kung fu liks sharing fa real!

Reach the end of the story and the wife say and do you know the moral of the story? And with a straight face I say "yes it is don't mess with the wrong women cause them will mess up ya life and doan trust no women cause dem duz try to get you to expose all ya secrets and then try to use them against ya.

She gine look at me vex vex and say "no Jdid the moral is 'Jah will never give the power to a baldhead.' "

Lawd ave mercy I think this chile doomed wid two a we fa parents.

11 comments:

Crankyputz said...

That is too funny.....I can't wait to meet the little tyke, and teach him important words like my name, and saying things like, CP is the most beautiful woman in the world.....Forcing the poor fella to watch jeapordy... WHAT IS MEAN...

Nikki said...

"I'll take Similac for $1000, Alex!"

Campfyah said...

lissen yuh bess send de child down muh way let him know dat he parents got a few screws missing LOL...Jeopardy, yuh got de child watching Jeopardy next he gine be watching Wheel of Fortune...but good things wunna doing wid de yute

Urban Sista said...

LOL!! I glad I came back to read yuh blog, bo! Wunna gine mek dat boy real confounded ;)

GC (God's Child) said...

re his first words were not communicated in the form of question

lol
seriously those bible stories are messed up sometimes. I grew up thinking Esther became Queen through a beauty pageant. HA!

Abeni said...

Rofl at wifey's reply.Go wifey ,take one for the females jdid was trying to diss..lol

Amadeo said...

That is hilarious...as was this:
"his first words were not communicated in the form of question. He loss points from me for that."

Fiyah said...

Poor (but blessed) yout', JDid? You and the wife have dreads?

nahmix said...

wifey got jokes i see...i love it, that and hearing about parents spending quality time with their children reading. it's incredible how this time early in his development, can affect the rest of his life. always have special time as a family.

scratchie said...

The poor bwoy. JDid, the wife outdid you on that last comment. dwl

gela said...

Haaaaaaaahahaha. Oh that's funny.

That poor bwoy. Ah tink ah going to send up a word a prayers asking the Lord to keep a special watch on him so dat between yu two, him don't grow up too confused. lol.