Now I'm not a people person by any stretch of the imagination. I just am not. Prefer my solitude way too much for that.
Still I recognize the value of communication and of being able to reach out to your fellow man and pass on information, converse or just lend an ear without being an idiot about it. To be honest it really is something they should teach in schools cause so many people don't have a clue how to do this.
Yes some people have no idea how to successfully communicate with others without pissing them off. Lack of people skills you can say. Maybe its that they didn't learn, maybe they are just too set in their ways to change, sometimes sadly its a cultural thing but something as simple as communicating a small problem or concern can get blown up into some huge confrontation if you're not careful.
Hmmm maybe its fear.
Yesterday I was offended. Someone had something to say to me about a matter but the round about way they approached it really pissed me off. Now as much as I wanted to scream on them I remained calm and didn't respond with an "are you a complete ass?" comment cause ya know next thing I would be labelled an angry black man but still.
I mean I appreciated their concern, emphatized with it even but approach and presentation can make a world of difference when you're trying to get some info across to someone else. It was as simple a situation as a hey Jdid I noticed and you might not have noticed but blah blah blah
to which I would have listened and responded with a well thank you for letting me know and I'll see what I can do about that.
But instead it became a whole lotta long talk, a whole round the world thing where one reason was given for the conversation but the main reason for the conversation was hidden and then it was brought out in such a way that it seemed either I was being shown up or the person didn't believe that I would believe what they were saying.
This isn't the first time though. The culprit has done similar with their little passive aggressive speeches before. I take it all in stride but yesterday I was truly offended with way I was approached. Still am to be honest.
Still I chalk it up to one of those we're afraid of speaking our mind to the big black dude incidences. Either that or the person is a complete jackass.
13 comments:
lol, I will go with the complete jackass theory
could very well be the latter, yeah?
yeah it sucks to be around people like that. it's been my experience that the people with the least amount of tact, the poorest leadership skills and ineffective communication syles are usually the people in positions of power.
where does that leave a straightforward communicator like me? working for those kind of people! yeah, it's the worst!
I agree with the jackass theory.
And, there is nothing that I hate more that people confluffling an issue with utter nonsense, wasting a body's time, before they get to the stinking point. I am faced with that everyday, and conversely, when I do get straight to the point, I am labelled a "bitch". Go fugure.
you're a big, black dude???
holy crap i better mind my p's and q's!!!
:-P
i think it could be a bit of both - a jackass who's afraid of black people can be a real pain in the neck...
i once went walking in brixton with a greek friend - after a while i noticed a trend: every time we passed a black person (bear in mind this BRIXTON, LONDON, UK - caribbean central) she dug her nails into my arm and tried to sidle right up to my ... ahh... side... very disconcerting... especially when i realised that she was SCARED of black people... i mean seriously... this is 2002 we're talking about!!!
so yeah... anyway... there are still plenty people out there who will fraid you if you're more cafe than au lait...
Jdid,it is a little of both,but skewed more towards the jackass theory.I experience this on a daily basis, especially in the work environment.At times, I just have to take a deep breathe and laugh at this type of communications on the part of co-workers.With respect to myself,I am generally frank, honest and at times depending on the circumstance, I can employ some diplomatic skills and psychology.Brother, I feel your pain and frustration, but guess what, just grin and bear it.RESPECT star!!
I agree with ESTEBAN AGOSTO REID, it's a mixture of both, but more leaning to the Jackass side.
(Jdid, belated condolences.) Anyway, re the office politics, some folk always try show up other people to mek demself look nice in comparison. My preference is to call dem on it when yu can, an' otherwise mek dem ress in dem own mess 'cause many coworkers prob'ly see it same as you see it an' dem neither carry him nor bring him same way.
I'm not a people person either per se and can definitely understand where you're coming from.
passive-aggressive people drive me crazy(er)! Now I try to make sure that I am always honest and direct.
These are the methods of management that I find are often taught in those seminars.
Combine those methods with a passive aggressive personality and you get exactly what you describe.
I've been in meetings where a person speaks for a full 30 minutes and doesn't say a damn thing...and you leave wondering what that was all about, only to find out 3 days later that they've screwed you...and when you confront them, they claim that you "spoke about it".
These are the people who make it into politics, and high management because they can talk and not really say or commit to anything, per se.
Jdid, plenty patience needed in them situations. I would be equally irate with that kinda triangulating, but these types of people all over.
Just best to play it cool and be vigilant.
I say forget patience...tell them next time they have 30 seconds to get to the point.
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