Immigration Protests

Saturday was a really nice day here. So after the moving business was over and seeing that I found out no one was going to be home for a bit, I decided to stop on Bloor Street West and chill for a few. Just needed to enjoy the weather a bit and I knew once I reached home I'd find some task to keep me busy and I wouldn't get any rest (which is exactly what happened when I finally reached and the lawn called my name).

So I stopped at a spot, grabbed a drink (non-alcoholic) and held a lil' lime while reading Marquez Garcia's General in his labyrinth. Didn't do the patio thing though cause as a child of the warmth I admire the sunshine but I'm not that keen on eating outside with the flies and bees. By the way what is it that attracts so many eyes when a black guy is reading? Is it that peculiar a sight?

Anyway as I chilled indoors, enjoying my book, out of nowhere there was the sound of loud speakers and a big protest rolled into view. It was a protest against the deportation of illegal immigrants here in Canada.

Yep the illegal immigrant issues in the U.S have had a lot of press lately but we in Canada have had our recent issues as well, as this newly elected Federal government seems to be more strict in enforcing immigration laws.

As I sat there watching the protest a couple of thoughts popped into my head.

I thought of the heart wrenching stories of illegal immigrant families who had been in Canada for well over 10 maybe even 20 years who were recently unceremoniously cast out, sent back to a place the adults barely remember and the children regard as a foreign country. In those cases I really feel for the children who have little if any memory of their country of birth having spent almost all of their years in Canada. That's really sad in my opinion.

I also thought, and this probably makes me sound really conservative somehow, but isn't it nice that illegal immigrants, people who have/are breaking the law can actually protest openly and not really fear that the police will descend on them and drag them off to jail and deport them all. Not sure how many countries worldwide one could do that in. It sort of reminds me of back in '98 when those Vincentian marijuana farmers protested against the US destroying their crops. My isn't it nice the freedoms we experience in this hemisphere. We've got to value them before they are taken from us.

I also thought, and I can only speak the truth here although it may sound strange coming from one who is already stricken with the label immigrant, that I'm not sure I support this protest.

Yes the individual stories are heartwrenching but so are some of the stories of those forced to steal or prostitute to make money to survive yet although I feel sympathy for them when they go to jail I cant really support their actions. Its the same here, I feel badly for someone who built up a life here and then had it cruelly plucked from beneath them but at the same time you came here illegally. You broke the law and at some point you did know it could or would come back to haunt you.

Plus as someone who came here legally and went through the numerous lengthy and costly bureaucratic processes and red tape in order to get student, work and landed status the fact that someone can come into the country illegally and then protest being deported is sort of a slap in my face I think. It makes me feel like a sucker. Here I am playing by the rules and they can come in and get basically the same life as me without the major outlay of cash that I put up or the red tape, the time delays, the interviews and the like. Then to top it all off they are protesting openly against deportations. Damn!

Actually I'm kind of conflicted about what I just said though. On the one hand I feel like I shouldn't be saying bad things about immigrants because I myself am one. Like I'm feeling like I'm making comments like one of those Reform cats who made sweeping asinine generalizations about Jamaicans or black folk or immigrants in Toronto and crime or something like that back in the day (oh just for the record though most of these illegal immigrants are not black) by saying what I just said. Damn I'm a sellout doing the man's job for him. Shouldn't I be showing solidarity with my immigrant brothers and sisters?

But on the other hand to be completely honest with myself I just cant really side with the protesters because of the reason I listed previously. How many would be legal immigrants are on hold trying to go through the mire of red tape, proving why they want to come here and that they would be valuable citizens, getting police records and bank statements and a million and one documents as proof of their skills and intentions, and paying a head tax, patiently waiting for some Canadian Immigration official to get to their file so they can come here and these cats jump the line, come here illegally and then get upset about being deported.

And I'm supposed to have sympathy? Sorry I know I probably should but I cant really lie and say that I do.

Monday 29th

Dem a loot dem a shoot dem a wail
a shanty town

007 (Shanty Town) - Desmond Dekker

So today was an interesting day. Woke up this morning and grabbed the newspaper only to be totally surprised by reports of a transit strike occurring today. Well that was completely out of the blue. Turned on the television and they were saying no buses, trains or streetcars were running. So how's a brother supposed to get to work downtown when this city's only got one decent way into the core (The DVP) and that's usually crowded even when transit is running.

Oh well. From the news it didn't seem like this problem was going to be solved soon as the transit workers were striking over maintenance schedules and perceived disses by management regarding driver safety. Cant blame those folks but they could have given us more notice.

Anyway long story short I ended up working from home as the buses never got running till around 3 or 4 this afternoon. Turned out to be a great day here too. Hot just the way I like it. Yea yeah yeah I know everyone will complain about the humidity and the heat being too much but I refuse to complain on any day its hot. I love the heat and any day I can sweat just walking up the road is a good day in my opinion.

So worked from home until late afternoon, stopping every now and then to get some errands done and hang with diddy jr (3 and a half months and counting) and then walked to the nearby cinema to catch X-Men III. Yea forget Superman and Da Vinci Code and all the rest , this is probably the only summer blockbuster I was interested in seeing ...besides Pirates of the Caribbean.

What can I say about X-III? It was just ok in my opinion. Yea it raked in over 120 Mil this long weekend in the US but it was definitely not as good as X-Men II in my opinion. Sure it was fast a fast paced action movie with decent action scenes but the pace seemed a little frenetic for the entire movie and even the big battle scene near the end just seemed kind of confusing. Not confusing as in who was fighting who but just in terms of the way the scenes were shot it just seemed too jarring.

Then there was some stuff there that just didn't seem to fit the characters of certain heroes and villains. Magneto for example seemed a bit out of character in his dealings with Mystique and Jean/Phoenix in my opinion was just a little too much out of control. Yes she is the Dark Phoenix who was completely different from Jean Girl but still I just didn't feel that the movie wasn't stretching things a bit. They kind of brushed Rogue to the side and a couple of other main characters from the earlier movies just never really got involved. I think there was just too much going on and the newer characters never got developed properly and seemed rushed into action while the older characters just seemed to be going through the motions. On the plus side they finally gave Storm a bit more screentime and we got to see Colussus and the Beast but other than that I thought that this movie was lacking.

After the movie I ended up doing some shopping. Hit a West Indian grocery store on the way home and had the interesting experience of watching the youth ahead of me in line buy a cutlass. Was a little disturbing actually. You ever stand in line at a supermarket and realize that the fella ahead of you have a cutlass in his hand? Wha I thought the place was getting rob at first to tell ya the truth cause the yout did look a certain bad boy, igrant, not too much common sense sort a way so I was a bit worried. I was tempted to turn back and start dodging about the aisles looking for the back door in case he was looking to chop up someone but it turned out he was just buying the item at hand. He aint look like no farmer or gardener to me though so I wonder what he want a cutlass for. Hmmmm .

Windies won again this weekend winning the series against India which is incredible. Congrats to them. Still wont jump on the bandwagon yet. Still a test series to be played. In NBA news , the Pistons are battling Miami as we speak so I'm off to watch the 4th quarter.

Oh the Desmond Dekker quote above has nothing to do with this post except I just wanted to say rest in peace as he died last Thursday.

Moving day

I have way too many started but unfinished blogs lying around, will have to do something about that one day.

Anyway today was moving day. Nope I didn't actually move again but I helped a really good friend move this morning. As moves go it was one of the most smooth we've been involved with and let me tell you both myself and my friend have been involved in a lot of moves. Whole heap actually we've virtual moving experts against our wishes. At one stage it got to a point where we were like if this school stuff doesn't work out we should seriously consider getting into the moving business. Yep we've made some serious moves back in the day. In fact about 8 years ago we even moved three apartments in a single day. Now that was crazy!

That was during our days in school when life was more transient.

Ah the transient lifestyle. Actually today's move got me all pensive.

Moving is something I dislike. I've grown accustomed to it though which is also strange because for the first more than half of my life spent in Barbados I lived in exactly the same place from birth through the end of high school till I left home.

Then I came to Canada and my life as a nomad started. Live on campus during school, move out in May, move somewhere else in September and the beat goes on.

Even after finishing school its still been a rather transient life I've lived; moving continents, countries, cities and apartments to the extent that since I first left home I haven't lived in one spot for more than the just under four years I spent at my last apartment.

Its a whole itinerant thing which hasn't really helped me with my feelings of homelessness that I've experienced ever since I came to Canada. Its also a homelessness amplified by the fact that I know that my old home, my childhood home, is no longer really my home anymore either. You can never go back as the old saying goes.

Still moving makes me reflect a bit on some of the differences between Caribbean life and North American life. For instance in the Caribbean, well Barbados I should say instead of generalizing, a lot of folk I know don't do much moving. You grow up in the same house or maybe move once or twice but nothing more and then as an adult you try to save money to build your own house as opposed to buying and that's where you usually intend to stay until you are old and gray. (that's just how it goes unless you are renting but even then folks that I knew who rented in Barbados never seemed to move as much as the ones here.)

Here, you buy a condo or a starter house. Then if the value goes up and you can make a profit you sell that house or if you get kids and you outgrow that starter house you move to a bigger house. Then when the kids leave home you may move down a house or as you get old decide you cant deal with shovelling the sidewalk and mowing the lawn and move into a condo. Its like a whole cycle of life. Apartment, starter house or condo, bigger house back to condo. I'm still trying to get used to that.

Cause with moving usually comes the packing, the unpacking, the buying of new stuff, dumping of old stuff, the new phone number after having just memorized the last one, the new keys, the new neighbors and just a whole bunch of adjustments that take a bit of getting used to. And yes it can be a good sometimes great thing like when you get a new spot that is finally your own or if you are moving out of a place with rodent or insect issues (been there done that) but somehow I've just moved way too much in the past decade and it just doesn't fit my personality somehow.
I guess its all a part of what stage of life you're at though. Like now that I'm married and all I wouldn't expect to make as many moves but still I must say the uprooting and the whole drama involved when I move house just doesn't help my mindstate it just makes me long for the good old days where I lived in the same spot for 18+ years.

Etcetera

Well a couple a people, including this wun hayso in my house, say my last post was too long. hmmmmp! Fine then be that way! :-)

So what to talk about today? Well I could chat about Rihanna and Jay-Z or rather Rihanna, Beyonce and Jay Z like the rumor mills. Ooh la la! I don't think I believe that Rihanna trying to horn Beyonce though and that's not cause she's bajan or anything but just because of her (Rihanna's) image right now although I do think she is becoming a tad bit too Beyonce-ish in the videos. Which reminds me there is an excellent video floating around out there with Rihanna being punk'd by Mr Demi Moore aka Ashton Kushner. I guess you know you've hit the big times when you get punk'd.

Could also chat about how two politicians in the Czech Republic got into a tussle at a dental conference. Seriously I saw the video on tv yesterday and the health minister just walked up to the other guy sitting at the table and whapax! Nearly slap off the man head. I haven't seen anyone get slapped in the back of their head so viciously since high school. I could only image that happening in a Bajan setting. Big rocks would fly!

Could also talk about basketball. NBA playoffs! The Pistons finally pulled it together and beat the Cavs but I think they will lose to the Heat. The big difference with the Pistons of last year and this year is that Flip Saunders seems at a loss during the playoffs. His record in Minnesota attests to that. If Larry Brown hadn't been such a punk and gone off to New York where he is unliked and unwanted the Pistons would have a fighting chance of getting past the Heat but now... So my prediction is Heat, Mavs in the final with the Mavs losing in 6.

Oh and the Raptors won the NBA draft lottery last night. Finally! Of course they would do in the year with one of the weakest draft classes. Also doesn't help that the consensus top three picks are all forwards and the Raptors are loaded at that position. So in my position as defacto, incommunicado, excommunicated wannabe Raptors GM I propose they do one of the following. Draft LaMarcus Aldridge as your new defensive minded centre, ignore all talk of drafting the next Dirk Nowitzki. Or trade down the draft like we did that year we traded Jonathan Bender to the Pacers and pick up a veteran centre, someone who can rebound and stand there and take charges and draft Rudy Gay or Marcus Williams or someone who can play guard lower down the draft. And if I hear the words Adam Morrison coming out of the mouth of any Raptors official I think its my duty to administer a beatdown.

Oh and the West Indies beat India yesterday again in one day cricket. Unbelievable! Kami ya think we turn a corner? :-)

Hands in my pocket

Ever see the credit card ads where people are doing normal everyday stuff with someone's hand in their pocket and in the background someone is singing a catchy phrase "hands in my pocket, hands in my pocket, hands in my pocket"?

From the time one reaches young adulthood, and gains some sort of independence, it seems as if there are people lined up to put their hands into your pockets.

At every stage in life someone comes along with some offer which is supposedly for your benefit but which always involves an outlay of cash on your part because hey we all know better than to think that anything in life is free. So not only do we have to deal with a society that says you need to have this, that and the third in order to be hip and where its cool to be material and spend money but we also have to deal with hipsters trying to reach deeper into our pockets to make us spend even more than we wanted to spend in the first place.

For me I saw it start in University, from Frosh (Freshman) week even where the banks set up their little credit card booths offering those fresh out of high school university students logo ridden free pens, cheap hats and frisbees in exchange for signing up to get their card which is somehow always the right card for your needs as a student. Always reminded me of Esau selling off his birthright to Jacob for a "mess of pottage" actually.

Credit cards, cant live without them they say, build up your credit rating for when you need to buy a house or car in the future, its all good and we have a special introductory interest rate so its no worries man, everything irie, don't sweat the fine print. What they didn't tell you is that significant amounts of students end up heavily in credit card debt because they end up relying heavily on the cards to get them by and pay off only the monthly minimum leading to more debt, besides student loans, before they even get into the job market.

Then you graduate, leave school and get a job. Even before your first paychecks arrives suddenly you get folks trying to set you up for the future by getting you to invest in retirement plans and arguing, quite rightly actually, that the best time to start is as early as possible. You get the calls, the profiles and portfolios with the charts and you're overwhelmed by projections on pretty laser printed color pages of how you can have millions of dollars at your disposal on retirement, almost tax free, if you just start investing right now at that very instant that the pen is trust into your hand. Invest $25 a month right now at age 22 without delay and that's better than investing 5 times that amount when you're 32 the pitch goes. To not invest means you're obviously clueless, you haven't understood their sales pitch.

Help us to help you they say cause if you don't then we're wasting our time and you're obviously slow in the head. But you've got to wonder why so many strangers are suddenly so interested in your welfare and wellbeing don't you? I know I am but then I've always been a skeptic. (Its called commissions based salaries if you didn't know the answer.)

Oh and you need insurance too because God forbid your hand is chopped off by a random low flying piece of galvanised aluminum in a flash windstorm on the way to work tomorrow. But nobody don't use galavanized aluminum in Toronto you argue. That's not the point it fly in on BWIA or something man stay with the program. The galvanize chop off ya hand and ya look like a one arm bandit wha ya gine do? Insurance all for a low premium of $9.95 a month cause ish can happen. Do you want us to put that on your credit card, sir?

Then one gets married. Not sure how they find out but it seems as if the vultures swoop in for a kill then. Congrats on jumping the broom! So you're a DINK (double income no kids) now good for you. We wish you all the success in the world. Well boy do we have a deal for you! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

More insurance offers, no medical exam necessary of course. What do I need more insurance for you wonder? Well God forbid you suddenly had a heart attack from eating all that souse on Saturdays and those pig tails on Sunday and died tomorrow wouldn't you feel so ashamed if your spouse couldn't handle the expenses when you were gone. Hmmm let me think. Well actually when I'm dead I'm not sure I'd still be feeling emotions like shame but ummm yea right sure. Here sign on the dotted line. What do you mean you don't want more insurance? You've already got insurance? But their plan isn't as good as ours meaning rather you haven't given us a piece of your money yet so be fair and sign up with us. What are you some sort of moron. Do I have to explain this to you again? $100,000 on death payable to your spouse all for $9.95 a month and the first three months premiums are on us, you cant beat that. We'll even cover health and hospital costs in case of a nail juk or pencil cut that doesn't lead to death. We got your back son, we'll hook you up.

No diggidy! (does anyone still use that phrase?) You still don't want it well what if I explain it this way? Still No? Damn you're definitely a moron and you'll regret this cause you know you can never have enough insurance but have a nice day anyway sir.

Oh and of course there are the time share people. Come on you need a vacation every year at one of our luxurious time share locations, just throw down $5,000 upfront for a special package where you can probably get the place of your choice for 2 days in the rainiest part of the rainy season if you're lucky or $10,000 for the premium, super deluxe, biggie sized, extra crispy with fries package.

This is a once in a lifetime offer. You cant beat it man! But ummm I'm trying to save for a deposit on a house. House smouse! Whatever guy, you don't need a house, 10Gs is neither here nor there for you and a house. Trust me my yout you don't need a house. I've got a house (from all the money I've fleeced from people like you) and let me tell you they are just expensive as all hell to maintain. Naa man, forget the house business. Everything is everything. What you really need to do is hook up one of our time shares in Florida or Mexico or Guantanamo ummm I mean Guatemala or someplace like that. Surely you can spare 5Gs if you're not a cheapskate? Come on man do you want your wife to think you're a cheapskate? Imagine lounging at the pool at one of our luxurious locations soaking in the sun, recuperating from all that hard work. You know you deserve to treat yourself to something good after all that overtime you been putting in.

Here's a brochure but we need you to sign up within the hour cause at 730 another batch of gullible "you've won a free prize" suckers are coming in and we'd like to have fleeced you of your money by then so we can move on to them. What you don't want a time share? Well forget you then. Give us back our damn salad plate and hor d'oeuvres!Moron!

(Note to anyone ever trying to sell me anything. Never ever under any circumstances try to feed me, it just sets off way too many red flags in my head.)

Then you buy a house. (well you can always buy the house before the marriage thing its your choice but it works just the same just switch the paragraphs around) Well of course you need house insurance that goes without saying but did you know that you also need a plan. What plan? Well a maintenance plan to save money on water and heat and plumbing and electricity just in case you have an emergency. You've got to be prepared you know. All for only $19.95 a month that's pennies a sec if you think about it. It cant get any cheaper than that for our services in case your bathroom explodes while your furnace dies and your water heater floods your basement while your electrical wires shock you and the dust in your ducts chokes you at exactly the same point in time.

We can check your pipes for rust and your ducts for dust and your furnace and your whatsnot and your this and that. Hey and your lawn needs a professional service because why should you do the work yourself when you can be lazy and pay us some of that oodles of spare cash you have just lying around after you just gave the bank most of your life's earnings. And of course you're going to need a energy plan with the cost of heat rising these days and the driveway needs to be redone even though it was only redone last year and a new roof is definitely a necessity because well even though they claim they last a good 15-20 years you really should replace them like every 2 just for fun.

Oh and while we're at it lets replace the windows and the doors and install a security system and new faucets and come to think of it we'll give you a discount if you let us raze the the entire structure to the ground and we'll hook you up with a completely new abode. How does that sound? Come on man , you just bought a house I'm sure you've just loaded with cash to throw at these home improvement jobs. Don't you watch the Home improvement channel? You need to redo your kitchen, pimp your living room, pimp your garden, pimp your roof. You gots to keep up with the Jones son. You're making a big mistake by not taking us up on our once in a lifetime offer. Oh well your lost moron!

Then you have a baby. I aint sure if the hospital does give them your name or there is a baby version of an ambulance chaser who stations him/herself at the maternity ward but somehow they get your name and phone number. You need professional baby pictures, diaper delivery, we got the hook up on formula, damn we even have bootleg extra lactating breasts for sale. Here we'll send you free samples.

Oh wait you need to start a university fund, you need to set up a trust fund for the baby and of course you need more insurance cause now ya got a child and God forbid ya get lik down by a runaway mini-moke up on the 401 on the way to work what the poor chile and he mudda gine do. Cuhdear!

What do you mean you don't want our products? What kind of parent are you? Do you really love your child? Well what if we explain it this way? Its a once in a lifetime offer! Still no? Ok then that's your choice. Moron! Have a pleasant day sir!

Top Model

My how a week flies? Seems like I just posted two days ago.

Its season finale time in tv land these days which makes for quite the interesting watching. Cliffhangers and edge of your seat excitement abounds as shows attempt to pull in those ratings and maintain those fans for next season. Add to that the NBA playoffs where my Pistons and Spurs both sit on the precipice of total defeat and there is a lot of must see TV for me these days.

Well Wednesday was the finale for Tyra Bank's America's Top model. Yea what can I say a brother still watches that show although I'm not blogging on it like I did a couple of seasons ago. Why not watch it though? Its all good clean fun and by fun I mean hot model type women on the tele every week competing and taking themselves with the most seriousness as they compete for a modeling contract while being nice on the eyes and providing hilarity with their antics. What's not to like? Wunnah expect me to watch a bunch a serious ugly people all the time? No star it nuh go so.

Anyway in the finale on Wednesday to my utter surprise homegirl Danielle from Little Rock Arkansas won. The final three were Danielle, Jade and Joanie and after Jade, the self-proclaimed "undiscovered supermodel" a girl who complained everyone mistook her confidence for arrogance (maybe because it was) was knocked off to leave the final two I was sure that Joanie was going to walk away with it.

Why? Well before I get to that let me say that this season's ANTM was actually pretty fun watching. From watching Nnenna struggle with her clingy boyfriend to the clueless Gina and the Fabulous Furonda it was quite the cast of characters. Add Tyra who justified choosing a few girls who definitely weren't the best looking by proclaiming them "unique beauties" to the mix and while not must see TV ANTM sure was interesting. Unique beauty hmmm I'll have to add that to my vocabulary as a synonym for ugly or not quite good looking in future. See what can I say the show was educational.

So back to the results. Well yea I was backing Danielle and the fabulous Furonda from day one but there was no way I thought Danielle was going to win it all. Just absolutely no way!

don't get me wrong. Yes she deserved to win because we watched her improve from week to week, yes she took excellent photos, yes she had presence, yes she was fine on the eyes, yes she let them fix her one big flaw in terms of looks in the modeling world that being the gap in her front teeth, yes she fought through illness, falls and other adversity to compete week after week, yes she was nice on the catwalk BUT week after week the judges in particular Tyra kept harping on her southern accent.

What's a lil southern drawl got to do with this show? Well according to the judges from what I can gather of their deliberations every week this drawl was a Grand Canyon sized flaw which negated every positive about Danielle. No way could she be a top model sounding like Forrest Gump, how was she going to sell Cover girl and a range of other products with that accent?

To be honest it got a bit annoying to me to hear the judges especially Tyra go on about the southern accent. It almost felt like they were pulling down homegirl unnecessarily. I mean its actually a bit classist in my opinion because why can thick European accents be used to sell all sorts of products but a southern drawl couldn't? Its not like Twiggy with her working class British accent was that much more decipherable than Danielle at times so why constantly pick on a sister week after week. Ok we get it she sounds like she's from the south which she is. Its not going to change overnight so accept it and move on.

It came off almost like bullying in a sense. Top Model as a case study for classism in the US. You may be as good looking, as smart as hard working as the others but sorry you're from south of the Mason-Dixon line and don't sound like some of the others so lets pick on you. (Cant wait for Canadian's version of Top model to see if anyone with a Newfie accent gets picked on. p.s I probably wont watch that show and damn sure wont be blogging on it even if I do.)

The accent argument while probably a bit valid was harped on way too much because how silly was it all as when you think of it can you actually remember what most models sound like? Nope its basically all about the looks and presence and in those departments Danielle more than held her own.

Luckily in the end it seems like the judges realized that. Congrats Danielle.

Everything is Everything

Seems like I have truly forgotten how to write or maybe I am lacking in the motivation. Anyway I'll try to see what I struggle through and do today.

Read an interesting article in the Toronto Star the other day. Well interesting to me anyway. Its about a new book where the author is theorizing that the Mik'maq Indians on Cape Breton on Canada's east coast were in contact with the Chinese back in the day, before Columbus and the other Europeans reached the new world.

Pretty cool stuff in my opinion as he looks at Mik'maq clothing styles, structures, myths etc that just don't fit in with what the other native cultures were doing and exhibit a non-European outside influence.

Anyway this author isn't the first to theorize that the Chinese reached the new world prior to Columbus. Gavin Menzies in his book 1421: the Year the Chinese discovered the world gives a lot of evidence and tries to trace a story about how the Chinese sent out massive fleets which circumnavigated the world. You can check Menzies site for yourself or check out some of his critics who say his whole story is a fabrication. What you believe is up to you.

Still Menzies book (which half read a few years back) is good reading as he presents a tonne of research to show the correlation between the Chinese and other cultures. Who knows he may be right or he may be wrong.

Of course others have claimed that Africans reached the so-called new world before Columbus as well. Prof Ivan Van Sertima in his seminal work They came before Columbus made claims of several African civilizations reaching out to the new world way before Columbus. (Wunnah know he is West Indian right? Guyanese if ya please!) He claimed that the Mali Empire amongst others sent huge fleets across the Atlantic using the trade winds and points out the Negroid features of certain extremely old statues in South America as proof of Africans reaching South America.

So why I blogging about all this today? No reason just trying to get in the swing of writing again. Naa there is sort of a point to this somewhere. If any or all of these stories of other civilizations reaching the Americas are true then really and truly this just goes to show that old theorem that history is written by the winners is true.

Columbus gets all the credit for the discovery of the new world but really what did he discover? What really is Columbus' legacy? (Oh on another note some say Columbus had an African navigator and some say he had Chinese maps.) He discovered someplace that was already discovered. I guess we can say he opened up the way for Europe to colonize the Americas, indirectly paving the way for genocide, small pox and other diseases to destroy the natives of the Americas and you could blame him for the slave trade too so maybe he actually did achieve something. Quite a bit good or bad for a dude who got lost right cause I mean the man was searching for China and find Santo Domingo. I don't know tummuch geography but them places fairly far apart. I mean that aint like say a man was looking for a Chinese restaurant in Toronto and mistakenly run up in the West Indian store next door or to say a fella in a boat was searching for Trinidad and butt up on Tobago or anything so. This is China and Santa Domingo and on any map two of those places far far far far far from each other.

Anyway I done with that for now. Everything is everything.

Happy Mothers day

Thank you mama for the nine months you carried me through
All those pain and sufferin
No one knows the pressure you bear a just only you

sizzla - thank you mama

Happy mothers day to my mother and my wife and to all the mothers out there in blogland.

Second Coming

Well its been a while since I actually sat and blogged. Well what can I say, a brother's been tired. Work, a new baby at home and more work it seems as if well a brother just cant find the time to actually sit at the computer to get his writing on which is quite a shame.

Anyway like I said been tired, well tired and not sleeping well either although that's not baby related as you would think since he usually only wakes up like once a night and I tend to sleep through that. Why should I wake up? I cant feed he! Wha I gine do, all I can tell he is sorry son my breast milk aint come in yet and it don't seem like it will either so ya buss luck wid me. Check wid ya odda parent.

This time of year though its one of my favorite times of the year, NBA playoff time, and I've been trying to watch the games. Trying being the operative word as it seems like I fall asleep in front of the tv every time. But you know I got to put my money behind the Pistons again this year.

Yea they lost to Lebron and the Cavs today but I still think they have what it takes to take it all the way.

But anyways today was the first game I got a chance to really watch more than one quarter and let me say it is pretty disgusting how much the commentators are on Lebron's jock.

Now I guess I should start by saying I'm not that big a Lebron fan. I'm sorry but everytime I see Lebron I think of over age little league pitcher Danny Almonte. Why? Cause I'm still trying hard to believe that Lebron is 21 or whatever age they claim he is? I want to see birth certificates. Dude looks older than me and he definitely doesn't have the body of a 21 year old. I guess freak of nature and man-child are the words that could be used to describe him but yo, check that cat for roids, human growth serum, mutant X genes something man, I'm telling you 21 year olds do not look like him. He's 21 going on 40.

Just kidding but seriously though I was really hoping that the Wizards would knock the Cavs out in the first round so I wouldn't have to deal with the Lebron-mania for another round but alas it was not to be.

Yes he is a good player, some may even say great but all the comparisons to Jordan. Oh brother give me a break! They are two completely different players in my opinion. Jordan was finesse, Lebron is just a big bodied bully. I'm not saying Bron aint good, I'm just saying he's not Jordan. He's all herky jerky, Jordan was smooth even when he was powering to the hole. They are not the same.

Plus yes I know the NBA has to have a superstar to market but it gets a little stale when they foist these next great one labels on these youngsters even if Lebron might be deserving of it.

I'm just saying although Lebron looks like he has it all in terms of skills, will, knowledge and drive lets just wait and see him accomplish something more before crowning him, oh wait he's already King James. So commentators scale down on the hyperbole and lets see the dude play and let the viewers judge for themselves how good he is. Otherwise your groupie behavior is just tiring.

Anyways I'm going back to sleep in front of the Spurs game. Dallas is giving them a run for their money.

Brand New Second Hand

Ok havent had alot of time or motivation to post lately so I decided to do what the news people duz do when they dont have anything to say....fabricate a story. No man not fabricate, go back into time and pull out an old article from the archives and reprint it.

Actually I got the idea because I realize that almost every week I get a new snarky post or email from someone cussing me about my white girls post almost a year later.

Anyway to keep you entertained for a day or so I reprint the following from back when I had like 5 readers in December 2004. Respect to anyone who's been reading this blog from back then and remembers when I posted the original.

Thursday December 9th 2004

Fraud Email

Got this yesterday at work via email. I usually read the first couple of lines because sometimes they are actually pretty funny. Anything to not do work right. LOL. Sorry the blog is so long. Hope you find it funny.

From kim yo yong. kim_wang@movemail.com
Dear Friend,
Please read this email before you conclude on my intention.
First I am Kim Yong Wo from Hong Kong Republic I am 17 yrs old and
I am in a private hospital here in Asia. I am SUFFERING FROM OSTEOPOROSIS (Osteoporosis is not just about broken bones- Osteoporosis actually causes my skull to shrink as well AND
THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE IT IS CALLED THE GRADUAL KILLER) I May not live unto the next three months from what my doctor told me I lost my father last Year after a brief ill Health my father was a farmer who has interest that one day he will Start a cattle farm here in Hong Kong, but his dream never came Through till his death He was killed through poison by his Mistress. And because I am the only child of my Father this lady wants me dead so that she will inherited my fathers property, In as much as she is in control of my fathers business she still wants the fixed deposit that my father left in Europe just for her selfishness Last Month the finance company where my father deposited this fund contacted me through my fathers Lawyer to advice them on what to do with his fund since I am still a minor and very sick demanding if they could leave the fund in a trust fund or should I seek other wise.

Since I know that I do not have much time left and when I die this Lady could get a hold on this fund through legal means and I am so Scared about this So, I now decided to divide part of this wealth, By contributing to the wellbeing of less privileged people and Handicapped in the society of Asian which is in my place America Europe and African Countries It was in the process of going through my fathers file looking for any clue that I saw an old his diary with your email circled.

What came into my mind is that he has the intention of doing business with you before his death Hence I am sending this email to you to be the executioner to this fund
I selected you for this Purpose and prayed over it. At first, I did not know how to put up this request for assistance because like I told you above my father were receiving emails from Africa
Soliciting his help in accommodating huge sums of dollars for them
He was receiving an average of 5 letters everyday. He suspected them to be scam from Africa. I feel I can trust you and I am willing to donate the sum of $11,300,000.00 Million US Dollars to you for the development of the well being of handicapped in the society and also as aids for the less privileged around your country, and I have mapped out $1,300,000.00 for your own personal use to help me for this work. Please note that, this fund is currently deposited with Finance
Organization My Fathers Attorney will file an immediate application for the
Transfer of the money in your name. Please, do not reply me if you have the intention of using this fund for personal use, than enhancement of the comfort of the handicapped.
Lastly, I want you/your home to be praying for me as regards my Entire life and my health because I have come to find out since my spiritual birth lately that wealth acquisition with out God, One’s life is vanity upon vanity
I await your urgent reply if you did accept to help me to show my
Sincerity I will send to you photocopies of my International passport
Copy and my school id card to assure you that I am of Good intention.
Remain blessed!
Kim


I was going to respond to her straight bajan something like this. (apologies to those who cant follow the dialect)

Dear Kim
Wait girl I real sorry ta hear dat ya fadda dead fa true! Dat is why men shud not be cavorting wid wicked wumen, ya duz got ta pray ta God ta send de right wuman cause dum got nuff wicked evil wumen bout de place. True true. Cause looka how she gone an poisin de man an he aint do she nuttin atall. cuhdear, dat is why my mudda always tell me I shun eat from any an evabody ya hear!.

But wait who is you fadda an how he did know me? wait wha you say he did name agin? Whichpart he get my email address cause I aint know nuhbody name nuh Yong Wo ya kno. At least not if my memory serve me correct. Not dat the memory like how it was a few years back but still I mean if a fella name Yong Wo I feel I shud rememba dat name cause it aint like he name Brathwaite or Brown or sumting commonplace dat I wudda got ta ask which Brathwaite or which Brown he is. A name like dat shud stick out.

Wait! Unless he went by a nickname cause one time I did know a fella name Matchsticks but dat din he real name. We used ta call he so cause one time, many years ago, he was by de corner troubling a young girl an she say "wha i aint want nuh man like you wid he two feets look like matchsticks" ha ha ha. wuhloss! Man you shoulda hear how the whole gap cackle out when dem hear dat. And dat name stick pun he. Come ta think of it I doan think I did ever know wha Matchsticks real name was. But dat is besides de point. So anyways wha dem used ta call you fadda?

But wait I aint tryin ta be malicious nor nuttin so but whichpart he get all dat money from bosie? He play lotto or he growing a lil sumting up in the hills cause I aint kno nuh farmers dat got summuch muney. A mean between you an me I used ta kno sum rasta fellas out by me dat used ta grow lil sumting in the bush one time! dem used ta walk roun lookin musty an half foolishy but dem used ta mek good muney, ya see dem dey, selling a lil a wha dem did growing. Wait you fadda was one a dem rasta fellas? Cause I know dem fellas duz got sum funny names ya kno. Wait he was the tall bony wun dat I used ta see down by Browne's beach punna marnin? cause ya kno come ta think bout it I neva catch he name so i aint know if he did a Yong Wo or not ta tell ya de truth. And come ta think bout it I aint see he in a good few years now. Anyways send muh a picture lemma see if um is he fa true.

But girl how you end up wid dis Osteoporosis disease doah? you fadda wudda had ta be a vegetable farmer fa true cause you like you neva get nuh cow's milk growing up ya. Lemma tell ya, when I was a lil boy my mudda used ta buy milk from a wuman up St George dat had three cows. She used ta bring um punna Tuesday night ina lil three jills bottle but if the rain fall she wun get down by we till Wednesday marnin. We use'd ta tek dat milk, boil um, tek off the skin an drink um. You know bout dem sorta days or you too young fa dat dey?

Man um did sweet fa days not like this pasturized foolishness dem got knocking bout dese days. Girl if you fadda wudda gi ya lil cow's milk when ya did growing up ya wun got nuh Osteoporisis all like now but I aint suprised he faget bout dat cause dem rastas like sumtimes dem heads duz be bad ya kno. cuhdear an poor you aint even see a star pitch yet. lil milk and ya wun got nuh problem.

But ya kno I still straining my head ta figure out whapart you fadda kno me from cause now I aint suh certain he did the rastaman? An wha business it was he did plannin ta conduct wid me cause i aint eitha buying nor selling dese days. Anyhow I din kno he but I still sorry ta hear he gone before I get ta talk ta he an find out wha business we was gine conduct cause wid de kinda coppers you talkin bout I feel I woulda mek a good pieca change.

cuhdear! but see how things duz turn out? Now looka how I miss out pun dat business opportunity wid ya fadda but now you offering me munies ta distribute odda muneys. Is true true wha de good book say ya know; when one door closed anudda wun duz open. But wait dat is de good book or Bob Marley I duz never can remember too good ya kno cause the memory aint as good as it used ta be. When ya get as ol as me chile ya wud understan. But I remember doah dat as a chile we had a saying dat if the door closed ya might still find a window open ta crawl through. ha ha. I tell ya!

How ya mean doan reply if I aint gine use the funds ta help dem handicapped underprivileged people? You mekkin sport!

But tell muh sumting doah. you sure, sure, sure ya wanta gi way all dis muney ta dem people so cause from where I standing I doan think dem wud kno wha ta do wid all dis big lotta muney you giving dem ya kno. Ta me I feel bout 5 ta 8 milion is suffice fa dem. Yes I kno dat dem got alot a dem sorta people bout the place but not as much as you thinkin cause peoples like politicians an de Aid agencies an de likes duz like ta exaggerate bout dem sorta people ta tug at ya heartstrings cause they know dat if you really kno hummuch a dem people bout the place ya wun really feel dat bad an ya wun be suh willing ta pull ya pocketbook ta gi dem muney. So yea dem duz exaggerate nuff nuff. Trust me girl, you still young but I been around de block a few times an I kno dese things. To me, I feel 5 ta 8 million is enuff fa dem...but ya can still send de full 11 million an I wud sort dat out fa ya. Nuh need you worrying bout dat pun ya deathbed.

An dont you worry cause from de time i get this letter I was already praying fa ya cause ya is a real good kindhearted chile ...not like ya ol wicked stepmudda. Ya fadda , God rest the dead wud be too proud a ya.

Anyways try an mek certain dat ya send long the documents ta muh before ya drop down dead. Not dat i wishing ya ill but ya kno I hear this Osteoporosis is a silent killer. It duz work pun ya an ya wun even know when ya gone. An as de bible say time waits fa no man or wuman so let we sort dis out in the early.

Anyways girl looka try an remember ta lemma know who ya fadda was, an try an send muh de documents an de muney so I cud put the muney ta good use. Tek care a yaself an mek ya self right wid de maker. I gine pray fa ya doah.

Yours sincerely
Jdid.

Searching

"Some of us are looking searching for something to die for out there"



Haven't had one of these (dreams) for a long time. (And before anyone says it. No I wasnt drinking, smoking or eating food that upset my stomach, eating too late or anything like that)

There were children. Three of them, two boys and a girl to be exact. All under the age of 6, with the boys being darker than the girl. They looked familiar but I don't know whose kids they were, and none of them felt like my own.

They were on the floor in what appeared to be a relatively small West Indian style living room with big windows through which a generous amount of sun streamed. They were playing around when the girl stuck a disk into an object under the television which appeared to be a DVD player. Music streamed out, not sure what it was, but I was present and removed the disc saying it wasn't appropriate for kids.

Then I went searching for an appropriate cd and ended up opening the front door outside onto a veranda looking down at some car parked in front of the house. I got off the veranda somehow and it must have been my car cause I ended up in it digging into every crevice for a particular disc but I don't think I ever found it.

The dream shifted and I was back on the veranda with two elderly, very dignified looking, black persons with prominent cheek bones and their hair in various shades of gray. One person's hair was a lot more gray than the others but I cant remember if it was the man or the woman. All I remember is that it was more salt than pepper and it was a thick short afro. No names were given but I also knew that I knew them somehow.

They looked happy.

The dream blurs from there although I recognize that I spent much time hanging out on the veranda with these people but who were they? I still don't have a clue.

Fast forward and I'm leaving the same house in quite a rush. The veranda is empty and I'm fiddling with an iPod, at least I assume it was an iPod since I had white earphones, as I hit the street at a fast pace.

I walk quickly past a mature lady planting corn and say good morning. She was wearing a long colorful but not new skirt, something with a white background and tiny splotches of color possibly flowers. She had a hoe in hand and was digging intently into some very dark soil but as I walked further the soil changed to a browner color and I saw rows of holes in the soil at specific intervals which really didn't correspond with her digging. Plus I'm not sure how I knew she was planting corn but I knew even though I'm not sure that would be the way one would go about planting corn.

She said something to me as I sped past and continued speaking. I might have heard what she said but I think the music from the iPod made it difficult to catch all the words.

So I turned back and removed the headphones.

She spoke to me, exactly what was said is again a blur but she was either pointing or speaking about the veranda and so I looked back.

There I again saw the dignified old couple but I knew they were dead. They were sitting in nicely carved wooden furniture, which possibly had always been there on the veranda. It was the type of furniture with the woven bottoms that you used to be able to get from the blind workshop in Barbados. The couple was all skin and bones now and at points they were skeletons sort of like they do in Pirates of the Caribbean. (On another note do I need Disney's permission to have characters similar to the skeletons in Pirates of the Caribbean in my dream? I don't want to be accused of plagarizing my dream. I don't want them to shut down my dreams like they nullify that "Opal Mehta" girl's writing contract the other day. Next thing ya see a Disney slap a lil logo on me dream or a Disney Lawyer come into dreamland and close muh down. Cuhdear!)

The couple was not alone as various persons including myself appeared to sway in and out of the picture on the porch. Imagine my thoughts as dream me watched other dream me. The couples' bodies shifted between skin and bones and part skeleton at various irregular intervals but the other persons seemed alive. Everyone started dancing, a slow rhythmic swaying type of dance to some music which floated in like the notes of a flute. Then they were all singing. I couldn't actually connect the voices I heard to actual bodies but their mouths moved and words were heard. The song or rather the line they sang over and over was:

"Some of us are looking, searching for something to die for out there"

Jdids first theorem

As a child I used to postulate on everything under the sun. What made the world turn? Why were certain phenomena as they were and not different, and why me mudda wud slap me cross me head and call me idiot all the time. Sigh! Those were the days.

Well I'm older now but I haven't quite given up on the scientific inquiry just yet and so today I hand you, after much research, and with much fanfare, Jdid's First theorem. A sure hit in the world of science!

Where to start? Well lets begin with another study which was released recently.

Researchers from the University of Georgia and the University of Colorado released a paper, Ugly Criminals a while back looking at the impact of beauty on participation in crime and showing results that suggest that ugly people seem to be more likely to have a life of crime than good looking people.

The Washington Post quoted them as saying "We find that unattractive individuals commit more crime in comparison to average-looking ones, and very attractive individuals commit less crime in comparison to those who are average-looking,"

Lawd ave Mercy!

Not only a fella got to worry about environmental, racial and socio-economic factors affecting a proclivity for crime but now he has to take a look in the mirror and decide whether his features have a criminal disposition.

Criminals now have a new excuse. I can just see a guy in front of the judge pleading for leniency in sentencing arguing that he was destined for a life of crime from the time he born an ugly chile.

"Ammm your honor sir, I would like ta beg de court ta go easy on me. I admit dat I murder them 25 people for no apparent reason but sir I din have much of a choice in the matter. It was bound to happen sooner or later cause I was born ugly and the odds was against me from the start sir. Not only has society let me down but my parents really unfair me by borning me suh ugly."

Its destiny!

But wait a second! Does this mean that if I see someone particularly ugly I should grip my bag a little tighter for fear of robbery or if a ugly fella bounce up on me I should check my pockets to make sure he aint pickpocket me? Hmmmm.

When I was growing up I used to hear people in Barbados using the phrase "Man you look like a real criminal" to mean that a fellow did looking a certain sort of ugly. Well I guess they were ahead of the time and knew something that these researchers just found out.

Cuhdear!

Anyway so back to Jdid's theorem. That report on the ugly/crime correlation got a fellow thinking. I put on a dingy lab coat, pull out two Bunsen burners and some H2O combined with some NaCl, C5H6O8 etc etc (ok I lie it was actually ethanol we use) and took out a beat up lab book to start postulating on some deep deep scientific thoughts.

Pacing up and down in my lab all sorts of random questions popped into my head. Does this mean that if I am good looking I can get away with murder since no one will suspect I'm a criminal? How ugly is ugly to determine if you're likely to be a criminal? Who determines if ya ugly or not? Is there some special Council for the determination of ugly? How is ugly rated? Is it on an exponential scale? Does the ugly hypothesis factor for alcohol influence? How does one rehabilitate someone if they turned to crime because they were ugly and felt they had no other option? What if the person was ugly but they got some cosmetic surgery? Would they still be likely to remain as a criminal or would they shape up and fly right? Could cosmetic surgery be used in the rehabilitation process? And what if the person was ugly and decided to become a criminal to get the money for the cosmetic surgery so they wouldn't have to be a criminal anymore? Its a catch 22, what is cause and what is effect? And most importantly of all why did I need a Bunsen burner in order to think these thoughts?

It was growing late into the evening and these and other thoughts percolated in my cerebal cortex when suddenly.

EUREKA!

As I'm told scientific types are apparently prone to shouting.

Here was a theorem that was going to shake the scientific community off its very foundation and bring society to a halt.

And so I present to you, in all its simplicity JDid's first theorem. (ps: A brother needs more funds to continue this study using the proper apparatus and scientific methods so any University with money to burn out there can kindly hook a brother up with some funds to carry out the research more thoroughly.)

Follow the statements here closely.

IF criminals are more likely to be UGLY
AND
we (meaning me) have already proven that WOMEN seem to be more attracted to gangsta, bad boy, criminal types.

THEN

WOMEN are more likely to be attracted to UGLY men.

Jdid's first theorem

That is a simple yet elegant but undoubtedly brilliant mathematics proof theorem isn't it? You cant argue with the logic or the math. Women like ugly men fullstop.

Discuss amongst yourselves and feel free to give me my props for bringing to light what was always so obvious. I'll be expecting my Nobel Prize in the mail thank you.

Next up in my continuing quest for scientific knowledge: A study into what influences crazy people like Jdid into coming up with simple, elegant yet absolutely outlandish theorems. Send funding in cash or alcohol (since alcohol clearly will have to be checked as a causal factor).