There's Family and then there is "Family". Y'all know what I'm saying?
I don't have a lot of both, more "family" than family, both here and in Barbados, actually people who do right by me and always got my back. My "fam". So to those who are fam good looking out. That includes my blog fam. Y'all know who I mean.
Actually that was supposed to be the end of the blog right there but let me get a little philosophical on the whole family thing. In my mind there are two schools of thought that I've heard of on the other family that is the blood relations and family by marriage ie the people that you cant be rid of even though they may be annoying as hell. To me the theories are somewhat polar opposites and I firmly sit in one corner as opposed to the other.
In one corner is the belief that family gets special perks and you let them slide on ish because well they are family and you need to hold them down regardless no questions asked even if cousin bob stole your ish or auntie Betty tried to hustle you. I think that's the more popular theory.
On the other side and this is where I stand is the belief that if you are family you need to be held to higher accountability cause you are family and you shouldn't be trying to mess with me. You are family and you should know better and you should treat me better as I will strive to treat you better than the average Joe. So cousin bob shouldn't be stealing from me and Auntie Betty sure as hell shouldn't be trying to hustle me. That's where I stand so if you are family and you mess with me I do take that ish personal and I will ostracize you. Comprende?
But then I'm an absolute black and white type cat most times so what do I know.
Where do you stand?
And before me family start cussing muh I aint talking bout nobody in particular I just talking theoretically although y'all know I will cut you off and I can go years not dealing with certain family if I think they tried to mess with me. Word is bond!
Anyway y'all can ignore the rant. What's important is if you 'fam' thanks and good looking out.
14 comments:
Family is important. What's funny is that I have an extremely small immediate family and they're very important to me. I'm not so close to my extended family so I don't deal with too much family drama.
Great Rant!
So how long is the longest you ever cut anyone off? For me, maybe 4 to 5 months...
For me, there's de theory & de practical: In theory, mi family should always do right by me, or mi done wid dem. In practicality, several have f--ed up royally, but mi still kinda try wid dem. Ah guess when U know U'll B buckin' dem up @ every likkle family event, it seems worth de effort to sekkle certain obzocky situations. (Jdid, ah learnt that word from U:)
Great post my brotha. And I mean that in every sense of the word as you are part of that extended fam I'm always posting about in my blogs. There is a intricate dichotomy in our families.
And you pointed it out so well especially the part where "family gets special perks" a sentiment I totally agree on. Then one can flip the script and say, "as a family member, one should know better and not do stupid stuff."
We will hold family accountable on things they should know better than to do. Unlike you J, I'm more gray in this area than anything because I've let family slide when I shouldn't have, holding back from the rage of Cage because after all they "ARE" family. Then there are the friend family types that are just as important to me as my kin are. And you know how close kin are when you are from the islands right?
Friends have a special place in my heart just as if. I can go on forever on this so I'll stop here. But kudos to a great post man.
I beilieve in the higher standard. If we're related you don't get a free pass. Matter of fact you get scrutinized more cause...we family. On the other hand you may get a break someone else might not get, but your actions should reflect the family connection.
I'm for the watching my back but even that goes only to a point. Higher standard and do right by me.
Family is always first, but I need to take a lesson. I sometimes hurt family by not making time, while making time for everyone else.
Always have your back, brethren! Although I am still waiting for the suitably adulatory entry about me...lol
i'm with you on the accountability thing. i learned the hard way that your family will be the one to hurt you the most. the things you might accept from a family member, is twice the amount of ish you would accept from a "friend" or stranger.
Jdid: I come from the school of thought that says: just because we're family, don't mean we have to like each other and have a relationship. We don't get to choose our family, thus I don't feel obligated to have anyone be apart of my life that doesn't mean me well. So, at the end of the day, my fam circle is comprised of those who really love me and have my best interest at heart. When I think about those folks, there are probably just as many folks without blood ties as there are those with them!
I prefer to say there is Family and there are Relatives. Family always has your back, and they will tell you the truth even if it hurts. Then there are Relatives, who are of your blood, but not all are Family.
good looking out jdid. we fam like that.
the immediate don't hustle me so i let every and any slide. the extended witch hunt my celly on the daily, forever asking for one favour or the other. do i get anything in return? gonna have to start asking.
I've gotten some the worst treatment in my life from family members.On the other hand I have family members that I would be lost without.
So many of the comments here have echoed my views. Like this post, JDid
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