The Warning

the criminals, tryin to drop my decimals
Damn! N**** wanna stick my for my cream
And it ain't a dream, things ain't always what it seem

The Warning - B.I.G

You single folks don't realize how good you've got it. I not telling lies ya kno!

From the time you get married, people seem to assume that you've lost all common sense like the wedding ring zaps your intelligence and so they try to take advantage of you by trying to sell you all sort of crap that you don't need. Or maybe it is they say well if he/she was stupid enuff to get married maybe his/her head aint all there so we can sell them some foolishness.

I'm not kidding, as soon as you say the 'I do' its like open season on married couples. Its like they have guys whose job it is to stand around outside the church with cell phones waiting till they see you kiss the bride to call and say ok the deed done lets get him now.

'Yes bossman, Jdid get married'
'ya sure? Ya see the ring exchange? ya confirm he sign the papers?
'Yes boss, everything official. He say I do, he put on the ring, and he went up and sign the papers. And he aint look too happy happy now so ya can tell that it official! She start dragging he by the hand already!'
'Alright, thanks, send in the elite telemarketer assualt team on the double, we got him now.'

And is not like I mean only selling you little trinkets and the like, I talking about big money things that they trying to sell you. Vacations, cars, this that and the third package for thousands of dollars like just cause you now have a double income your pockets suddenly that fat.

Well them musse aint know my wife cause I aint got no double income. I now have more like half an income cause she say half of mine is hers and and what's hers well she aint telling me what she got so I aint getting nuttin. So with that sort of situation all of them barking up the wrong tree cause my pockets on E(empty). Actually scratch that I well past E.

And don't let ya ever get married and own a house. Oh gosh it gets even worse then. They will try to sell you some of everything under the sun. I an only imagine if I get kids that they might even get worse too.

Now the worst of the criminals trying to sell you stuff are the ones peddling timeshares and vacations. In truth I just got off the phone with a guy who all of a sudden, out of the blue, call me up and was trying to give me three days at a 4 star hotel in a resort area for a small amount of money. I was a little bit skeptical from the get go though as in maybe his second or third comment he said something like 'We are looking for people like you who own houses'. People like me? How he know I own a house and what my owning a house got to do with you offering me a cheap vacation? People that renting condos and apartments don't like vacations too?

Then he say something about well you earn over such and such a figure and I was like but wait he like he know very much bout my business affairs and while dat might be true I already explain to y'all my dollar situation. Is the wife that got de money not me. Anyway I still want to know where he get those figures from cause he like he was doing my income tax or something so. Boy this thing sounding real fishy to me.

So after some prodding I found out that the only stipulation for the vacation is that on the second day they want you to come to a 90 minute presentation. 90 minute presentation? Ding Ding ding!! More bells, alarms and gunshots going off in my head now than your average dancehall cd. They trying to sell me something I don't want. Nuh uh, I'm going to decline this offer tempting as it may seem.

Cause I've been to one of these things before and they were pushing these 10 and 20 thousand dollar packages at me and were getting upset because I say I not interested. But that's another story.

Plus the guy was like you can come up on September 8th or September 15th. So wait you just call me to offer me a vacation package and I supposed to drop everything to rush along on this vacation just like that? Who tell he that I available in September? He feel I don't work nowhere that I could just up and galavant bout the place so? Looka, I is a busy man, I cant just drop everything just on his say so and go on vacation. I got work, family commitments, blogs to write and the like. Bwoy him feisty and rude eh hey? Trying to presume to schedule my business or rather my vacation. I cant even remember ever offering him the position of Jdid social director if such a position existed and yet my man trying to plan my life. Well well well!

Oh and happy birthday to Kami