Monday, August 01, 2005

Ah still vex

Ya really, really want to know why?

I mean yes, I had a nice Caribana and all but yes I'm still upset about the one that got away. And no I don't mean the Vincy girls on the truck that I was trying to follow when Bajansistren keep reminding me I actually had a band to jump with. No I not even talking about them.

Picture this. Caribana 2005, ladies in abundance, all sizes, all shapes, all shades, all ages, skimpy costumes, beauty, color, cellulite, curves. To paraphase the old time bajan spouge duo the Draytons 'Who aint looking good, good looking and who aint looking nice, nice looking, who aint looking nice in front, looking nice behind....'. You get the point.

Alright then. One good thing about music when it hits you ya feel no pain. Well the rhythms were hitting so hard it was like somebody give all of us Codeine tablets. The Caribbean rhythms; the soca, the pan, the drum were causing bodies to gyrate and shake and move and sway and jump and sweat. You just couldn't resist it. Sweet soca music , ya coulda neva refuse it!.

It was a veritable cornucopia for the senses.

Your boy, Jdid, that's me, just enjoying the sounds and the sights and taking beaucoup de pictures thinking to himself wow this really is a spectacle to behold. I'm not the best photographer and on most occasions I just take pictures of things not people but Caribana is different you have to get photos of the people to celebrate the event. Plus I was not too sure how these photos would turn out after having failed miserable to take anything useful at Pan Alive Friday night. A new camera will do that you.

So earlier in the day before the jump-off, I was focusing on getting photos of the big King and Queen costumes like this.
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and

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(Oh previous two photos compliments of Bajansistren. Thank you very much. See previous blog if you missed the other photos).

Then as the parade started I began getting pictures of the bands as they left the stadium to hit the parade route on Lakeshore. Best place to take photos in my opinion because once stuff gets on the roads things start to get mash up and spectators join in with the bands and it kind of dilutes a bit of the color intensity of say seeing one band section all in blue like the photo below.

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So I'm doing my photo thing when along comes this group of lovely young ladies (another set not the Vincy ones on the truck).
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Hey where did that photo come from? To wife: umm no I don't remember taking those photos it must have been the guy I lent the camera too. Yea that's it lol. la la la ........la la

Anyway sorry I digress, so these nice looking young ladies are going past me and there are a few of them with Caribbean flags including one rather stunning beauty with a Bajan (that's short form for Barbados for the uninitiated) flag who I focused in on. Ok she maybe wasn't that stunning, (she was rather good looking though) but after what happened next and forever in the stories I will tell in the future she will always be the best-est looking girl I ever saw. I will be singing her praises with hyperbolic terms of exaltation, extolling her to the highest degree, her aura will be raised to mythical proportions. A girl who would make Halle Berry look like Whoopie as my man Big L (R.I.P) would say.

Now there she goes again the dopest Ethiopian
and now the world around me is just moving in slow motion


So guess what happens next. The sista with the Bajan flag is passing by and another beautiful lady with a Jamaican flag (although not as beautiful as the angel with the bajan flag) is pulling her along when she, the bajan flag girl not the Jamaican flag girl, sees me with the camera and stops. Hallelujah! Could it be? Is she stopping to pose for lil ol me? Nooo! Yess! Nooo! Really! Me? Whoa! She is actually posing for me. Oh man if I ever had any doubts about there being a God in heaven. Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah! No more singing the Pharcyde's passing me by cause she's the one who didn't pass me by.

Oh man, I'm on cloud 9, I have hit the jackpot! If I don't take another shot all day and even if I don't get to follow the Vincy truck then to actually have this girl pose for me just makes my day, strike that my week, my month even my year. This is the coup de grace, my shot heard around the world, my crowning glory. This was the photo in the future I'd be showing my kids, my grandkids, everybody saying can you believe what happened to me out of the blue and can you believe how lovely this young lady is.

So quickly, in the next few seconds, I manage to steady my hands and I set up the shot. Ok Jdid, steady now. You definitely don't want this one to come out blurry like the ones the night before. This shot must be perfect. Perfect girl, perfect shot, I'm focused, the camera is focused, we become as one, man and machine blending into the perfect element. The camera's lenses combining with my own eye's lenses to form a cybernetic entity. Coming together for a common cause for the betterment of mankind. (alright too much hyperbole I'm getting carried away) Ok here it comes, everything is good, homegirl is in the center of the picture, I double check everything is straight and I depress the camera button to take the shot. I hear the double click meaning I'm good to go and I depress the button fully and snap what is possibly naa scratch that what is definitely the greatest shot I have ever take in my life. Hey I'm easy to please what can I say. Oh happy day!

I say a heart felt thank you and 'God bless you girl' and the girls are off. I was happy before but my heart is all a flutter, I'm positively giddy. Giddy as a schoolgirl well as giddy as an emotionless android like myself can be anyways. Yea I have emotion issues but that's a whole other blog.

Then I look at the picture and it all falls down like a Kanye West song.

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There on the left is the Jamaican flag girl, quite beautiful in all rights but wait what the? Nooooooooo I scream! Whyyyyyyyy? Where is my bajan flag girl in all her exquisite beauty? Nooooooo!

Yo where that big headed woman come from to block my shot! Cheese on bread (bajan term of exclamation, don't ask I have no idea of the origin)! I utter various unprintable words. A who de one bleep bleep big red frizzy headed woman and where she came from to block my shot? My perfect shot in ruins! Ruined I say!

Bajansistren had been standing next to me and I show her the photo and she laffin at me, I show the wife she laffin at me. Everybody enjoying my misery. Cuhdear. To have it so close to your grasp only to have it cruelly snatched away.

Totally offset the rest of my day. To think I had the best-est girl in the universe to take a picture of and that woman head block out all trace of my girl. See dat, life just not fair.

Not only that but homegirl had already disappeared down the route and so I was left there with only a memory and once again a brother's singing a variation of the Pharcyde's Passing me by. Damn!

24 comments:

4panist said...

boy I can tell you like to tell a story. how is it that the woman with the biggest hair (actually probably not the case that day since people can do all sorts of madness with their hair for caribana) ended up passing by your camera at that exact moment? you could have people doubting your taste in women. How do we know you didn't just make that story up to cover for your atraction to big haired big women?

smallislandgirl said...

oh poor thing I love the pictures though thanks for sharing for us who couldn't make it to caribana this year maybe next year.

Luke Cage said...

LOL! Hey Jdid. All things considered, You did an awesome job man. You had alot to work with to brother. Focusing, thinking of the lady, making sure you're lined up, get it all right, gots to get the face, but wait the body has to be perfectly in the middle, sunshine's abundance around you, crowd to your left, crowd to your right, and hey!

You got the money shot in right? Right? You did alright man. Glad that you enjoyed the festivities. Looked like an awesome display of true island magic! Kudos.

Slow Metamorphosis said...

HAHAHAHAA J you had me crying over here. Cheese on Bread! When I saw the pic all I kept saying to myself is....but wait...where is the redheaded woman coming from??

BajanSistren said...

Wuh boy, I din realise de thing did affect you suh deeply. I know yuh was whining fuh de rest of de day but still I din get it. If I did know that I would have tried to contain my laughter. Also, I didn't see how completely the big head woman did obscure you shot, and she look a lil bit scary wid dat hair flying so...I feel sorry fuh yuh now boy, cuhdear.

Campfyah said...

ha ha ha ha it was too good to be true, that's why de redhead woman block yuh shot....good vibes,. Ein nuttin like a Carribean Carnival, wunna T-dots learning tuh party in style. Nice pics as usual.

Abeni said...

Poor blind you for noticing a big head woman blocking you:)

dorna! said...

How in de france did you not see de big headed lady and Mrs Ronald McDonald? I mean, man, you blind or what? :D

summer m. said...

methaphorically, jdid, i think you've captured the story of my love life.

*sheds a tear*

Dr. D. said...

My yute, I cussing claat too...cause me did well waan see de picha o de sweetness!

Actually, when I was a read the post I check seh you was going seh that the camera battery died just as you was going tek the shot!

Anyway, there will be other times. Sound like you enjoyed yourself.

Shotta M said...

Wow those are some sweet looking girls.

aarond said...

One day I haffi reach Caribana...

Burke said...

I needed that laugh, so sorry it's at your expense. That was too funny.

Cymple said...

LOL, she really did just walk all in and through your picture. Can't even see a drop of your girl. *sigh*
Tooooo funny!

Mad Bull said...

Life really ruff fi true, Jdid.... here, have a v/x and ting on me.

Don Tate II said...

If this war don't send me off running to Canada, that girl on the truck, next to 160 will. *inhale, exhale, breathe*

Gunner Kaufman said...

Thats reminds me of the 80 pound salmon i caught....but my camera,uhhh, it messed up ...hahahaha. I feel your pain....

solitaire said...

obviously that was Jesus who did mek di odda people walk inna yuh picture... 'cause you ain't supposed to be doing dat when yuh 'ave one WIFE!!!

I allowed fi tek pitcha of MAN 'cause mi nuh 'ave none! lol

Jdid said...

@4panist - big haired big women umm no comment lol
@smallislandgirl - come on down next year
@luke - i tried, alas i failed
@slow met - glad you liked it
@bajansistren - yes i am deeply affected, traumatized even
@camp - yea too good ta be true indeed
@abeni - oh shut up already!lol
@dorna - mrs ronald mcdonald came out of nowhere
@summer - oh man thats sad
@Dr D - man you aint as dissapointed as m though
@shotta M - glad you like
@aarond - better sooner than later star
@burke - oh yu laffin too, fine be that way
@cymple - the thing is i never saw her, didnt her before or after the shot
@mad bull - thanks i will take that drink
@Don T - ha ha ha. I'm just doing my thing to get the tourists here
@Gunner - lol, i hear that
@soli - i'm not supposed to be taking pictures of women at caribana because i'm married? exactly why would that be? its not like I propositioning them. my wife was right deyso a few seconds away from me when I was tekkin the picture I din see she complaining.

solitaire said...

Fe tek pitcha is one ting...but you're going on saying that this girl was the prettiest thing since who knows. Isn't the prettiest woman in the world supposed to be the one you got married to?

I have no problem if I'm with someone and he's commenting on how pretty girls are... that's normal. That's what a (straight) man does. But when he going off saying "this girl was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" and I'm standing there while he describes her (and it's not me); how is the woman supposed to think?

Tink about eet!

Jdid said...

miss solitaire let me put you straight. In case you've never heard of hyperbole remember the name of this blog is doan mind me.
hence anything written here needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

chupse!

obifromsouthlondon said...

hahahhahahahhahahhahahaha I love this post sir!! awww sorry about your picture son. the Jamaican girl look nice still. dont worry your dome piece is the best camera and you'll always have a pic of bajan girl.

I definitely have to hit the Nothing Hill carnival this year. uhhh! those honies ...

princessdominique said...

I mean I loved this post. My mom is Bajan and although I've never been I'm adding it to my travel list. Great post! Gonna have to blogroll an island brother.

notyouraverage.... said...

lol! great recount - that's so sad though!

(next year, i gotta make my way onto the Vincy band!)