Reconciliation March

Was going to blog about the NBA today but that'll wait since I've wanted to blog about this story for a while. I heard about it word of mouth last week but I wanted to be able to link to the story and if you've ever checked the Barbados Nation site online you know they are rather picky, read censor, with what they actual post.

Anyway I just realized that Titilayo did a few posts on the topic already so I can at least post her links. Thanks mademoiselle. Much respect!

Last Wednesday in Barbados there was a symbolic march to relive the horrors of slavery. It was organized by an international group called Lifeline Expedition and was a march by descendants of former slave owners (read in this case mainly white folk) in 'chains' and 'yokes' to various places in the island.

Yep apparently these Lifeline Expedition folks have been conducting these symbolic marches all over the place.

You can read about the actual march in Barbados and see a photo here under the title "They are so sorry." Trust me you need to see the photo (which in case you're wondering isn't the same photo I posted below).

Sigh! Where to start where to start. Ok first expression of utter disdain. Big lawless Chupssssssseeeeeeeeeee!

Sorry? What the !! Yes indeed they are sorry. They are a sorry bunch of folk. This march was a sorry, pathetic excuse. Symbolic march! Oh lets take a nice leisurely stroll in our paper mache chains, in our caps, shades and designer athletic shoes while drinking our bottled water and say we are sorry for slavery. Does this really help anyone? I know it doesn't help me. All you have done is made me as angry as when I came out of the theatre after watching Rosewood. This is a complete farce!

I'm sorry Lifeline Expedition but you are reducing the suffering of my people to a joke. From what I heard no one in Barbados wanted you to march anyway so what's the point of this? This is despicable. I spit in your general direction! Sorry but I cant really see this being a heartfelt sorry on your part unless you are somehow mentally slow and cant for a minute realize how stupid this is. So I imagine that somewhere deep inside you are laughing at my ancestors experiences and this annoys me, scratch that, this seriously pisses me off.

I would have accepted a simple sorry rather than this mockery. I mean is this how you apologize or make reparations? You march in chains to say you are sorry to the one's you oppressed? What's next Germans locking themselves in a symbolic concentration camp and throwing themselves into symbolic gas chambers to say sorry for the holocaust. Imagine the international uproar if that happened. But no this is just someone trivializing slavery so who cares right.

This march right here in my honest opinion is a travesty, a mockery, a despicable imitation which trivializes a serious part of our history!

I might even have accepted the march as being sincere without the chains and yokes but they went too far right there. Your symbolic chains don't amount to jack compared to the real heavy iron under which we were bound and the miles upon miles which black men, women and children of all ages were force marched on. Any of these marchers ended up with wrists or necks rubbed raw from those chains? I suppose not right.

You want to do this thing right. Ok take off your shoes, and your shirts, dash way the shades and bottled water, get some real heavy chains and get some big lawless, ignorant overseers with long whips to lash your sorry behinds all along your march. I mean big heavy whips and cat-o-nine-tails to tear out your flesh if you lag on the march. Cant afford overseers? I know some cats that can just run out of a crowd of onlookers at intervals on the path and just let loose a few lashes in your tail with a belt or a dog hunter. Still want to do a march now in the face of physical harm? Lets see if you're so composed as you march now.

And while we're at it lets set up a slave auction somewhere where you can be stripped of all clothing and dignity, examined by a bunch of prospective buyers and bid on based on your physical appearance. How ya like dem apples? Matter a fact after you've been bought lets get someone to mark you with a big hot branding iron. Now a permanent brand on your backside that would be truly symbolic wouldn't it?

How about a symbolic middle passage crossing. Only thing is half y'all would have to be tossed overboard before we made port.

Ok I'm getting carried away here. The point is this symbolic march is a waste of time. It looks like a parody, a bad Saturday night live skit. You just don't get it do you. Its really doing nothing but aggravating feelings on serious issues.

You probably think this is a fine idea don't you? Umm No! You want to discuss slavery fine, you want to apologize fine, you want to discuss reparations or making amends somehow fine but don't think that some half-assed walk in fake chains is an apology for slavery. Its best appearance is as a caricature not to be taken seriously. If you really want to foster reconciliation this is not the way to go about it. Start some dialogue and ask those to whom you are apologizing or whom you seem reconciliation with what we want cause I'm sure seeing you march does nothing positive for us.

If anything this march shows us more deeply the divisions that exist rather than fostering reconciliation.

Music Fridays

What's with all the recent blogs Jdid? You almost posted every day this week, what's up with that? Not sure. I'm mad tired but I find once I reach a certain stage of tired the adrenalin gets going and the energy kicks in ....for me anyways. So I've been feeling to write about some music stuff for a while so I'm starting a semi regular (meaning I'll do it today and then we'll see if I have anything to write about next Friday and the Friday after that) music column. Yeahhh!

Speaking of Adrenalin, the Roots signed to Def Jam. Maybe now we'll get a decent Roots album. Cant say I've been really feeling the last two releases.

Tdot look out! Kardinal Offishal will be back with his new album dropping on November 15th. After his label folded and all that Kardi hasn't been m.i.a, instead grinding it out with his Kill Bill mixtape and doing crazy cameos on wax and in video. First single is Everyday Rudebwoy which is a remake of Arrested Development's song from the early 90s which in itself was a rip of of my man Sly and the Family Stones. Looks like the beef between Kardi and K-OS is finished too cause K-OS does a little cameo in the video.

On a side note what's up with all the unofficial artist mixtapes? I wouldn't have beef with that except for two things. One they are usually hard to find and two the artists usually sound so much better on the mixtapes than when the official album comes out. What's the deal?

Back to Kardi. Hopefully this new album will be as good as the last one. Word is he's leaving off an amazing track he did with Timberland. Why? He says he didn't want to put it on there. What's that all about? Got to show love to Kardi though cause he represents the T dot lovely with his mix of slang. Been waiting for an album to drop since Firestarter Volume 1 which gave us such lovelies as Old Time Killin and Bakardi Slang. p.s what happened to Big Sauk and Choclair?

Foxy Brown is deaf! Nope I don't mean her music is def or she's still signed to def jam I mean she is deaf! Homegirl is losing her hearing. The 26-year-old (she's only 26 damn she's been around for ever I thought she was at least 28 or 30) has been diagnosed with a rare condition, severe sudden sensorineural hearing loss and is undergoing surgery and medical treatment in a race to save her hearing. Doggone it first Kim gets sent to the big house now Foxy is losing her hearing. And yo yea I know Foxy's contribution to rap hasn't been ground breaking but still I think sista has/had skills its just she needed to get past that whole rap about material objects thing. Remember her first appearance on I shot ya with LL? That was wicked! Hopefully they can save her hearing.

And oh yea, the Lil Kim album is by no means a classic but its got a couple of nice tracks.

Jay Z and Nas have squashed their beef and will be performing together soon. What's the matter with Jay Z, dude is head of Def Jam and he's got 'the flyest girl in the game wearing his chain' . He's living every hustlas dream but he just cant put down that microphone. Oh well, ya know what? Its pretty sad to say but I miss Jay Z. I never realized how good he was until he left or maybe that's how good he was compared to the other guys out there. Now I find myself really digging his new verses on Kanye's Diamonds and that Young Jeezy cut. So will Jay stay retired or will he come back a la Jordan. Of course remember what happened to Jordan.

Thought I had more to say than this. Oh yea. Cant believe that as a bajan I haven't shouted out Rihanna yet. Girl is doing her thing! The first two singles are hot. The album is ok, 3 - 3.5 outta 5 mics I guess, not sure why they made her do a Dawn Penn remake but still its solid. What I'll say is that listening to the album its obvious that she's more than just a dancer and a pretty face. You know you hear a single and think hmmm that's not bad then you have to listen to more of the artists output and you realize without the help of video homegirl is screeching? Trust me that happens a lot but with Rihanna I can safely say she's got some vocal range and actual singing talent .... which is usually rare in these days for rnb singers. So big up miss Rihanna do your thing, just don't go around humping no cars like some other artists and we'll be fine.

Ok folk, have a good Friday and a good weekend.

Lotto Fever

Its like Lotto you gotta be in it to win it
EPMD (name that tune)

Well Lotto Fever has gripped Ontario. 40 Million up for grabs tonight. Wunnah best be nice to me cause all like now y'all could be talking to a millionaire. lol

Anyway the lottery lines were crazy as far as I saw today. But it got me thinking about some stuff including what would I do with that money if I ever won something that big. Well besides uttering Dave Chappell's favorite comment, I think I could find a lot of uses for that sort of cash. Think Chinchilla son, chinchilla from my bividees to my head to my feet. Wait y'all know what bividees is? Underwear man, underwear,lol. I guess the thing if you won would be to move slowly and not get caught up in the money. Oh yea they say that money doesn't change you, yea right. Think swimming pool filled with Champagne. Ya dun know if any of us won changes would be afoot. Think Hummer with a Nintendo remote control instead of a steering wheel. For me I'd want 'a frog, a dog with a solid gold bone'. Big up anyone who got that reference.

I'm just kidding to show you some of the stuff people waste their money on. I think the key would be to just move slow and talk to some money people instead of rushing off and squandering a god sent gift. Still I think I would get them chinchilla bividees fa true, cause winter going be cold lol.

Last year or earlier this year there was a bit of a lotto controversy here. Well two actually. There was one where a ticket agent tried to steal an old man's jackpot winning ticket and then there was this situation where this dude won the lotto the previous year, then separated and divorced his wife and then went and picked up the lotto money and disappeared. Pretty slick! Homeboy even had her over for a booty call a few days before he claimed the prize.

I probably wouldn't do anything like that but I know that if I won it would be rather nice and I'd probably share my winnings with my people and try not to waste it on anything frivolous. Of course who knows maybe I'd deck my house out in all gold or something ridiculous. Naa

Anyway let me tell y'all a joke. Saturday afternoon, middle of this summer and I found a lotto ticket that I hadn't checked from last year. Made the check and I had 5 of 6 numbers. What! I was like whoa Jdid you came up on loot. I was jumping bout the house cause the wife wasn't home. Boy I was ready to pack up and call she from the airport cause even 5 of 6 numbers might be worth a couple thousand right. She would come home like 'boy Jdid whapart you is?' and I would be like 'gal, me win big money, Barbados calling me, flight 634 leaving in 5 minutes doan call me I will call you matter a fact don't call me cause I aint callin you.' I did feeling sweet boy, sweet I tell ya, plans afoot in me head. Ready to call the Airport taxi. Then something say check that ticket again. Turns out I was checking the lottario numbers instead of the lotto numbers for that day. Chupse! Man ya eva see grown man cry like a cricket ball hit 'im in his particulars? Lawd ave mercy!

Anyway again not much to say today but wanted to tell you guys to check out Brotha Buck if you don't already. Recently he's been doing some great illustrations which relate to family life and I think if you're married or ever been in a relationship you will get a good kick out of them.

What do you mean

Its not Wednesday yet. Well its almost there now but its still not Wednesday yet.

I know everyone out there has probably experienced it at one time or another but I've completely fast forwarded this week. From this morning all the way through the day I swore it was Wednesday when in fact it was Tuesday.

Crazy! Maybe I'm in a rush for this week to finish because I'm tired and its only Tuesday. Three more work days to go and apparently we're getting the remnants of Wilma to continue our wet rainy days here in the T-dot. Someone asked me today if it was wrong to be counting down the minutes till end of work when the time was only 1pm. I said what do you mean I'm counting down those minutes from 8am before I go to work lol.

Anyway nothing comes to mind to chat today. I hope Wilma didn't rough up Sunshine and any other bloggers too much down there in Florida. Another day another disaster around the world and yet another shooting in Toronto.

Rest in Peace to Rosa Parks as well. Another icon of the Civil Rights movement has passed.

To all my blog friends my apologies for not being able to visit your sites regularly these days. Its just been hectic (so hectic I don't even know what day it is) but don't worry I still got mad love for all you and appreciate the comments.

One Love.

Invisible man

(May be going over previously covered info so bear with me)

One of the first things I noticed when I first came to Toronto back in the early 90s was relatively speaking how unfriendly folks were . Coming from Barbados I was taught that it was rather impolite to stare at people. In fact as a youngster if you were caught by your parents just staring at someone for no reason you might end up getting your ears pinched or two slaps pitch upside ya head.

Anyway from the first day I got here I just realized two things. People stared a lot and worse than that they never gave any greetings like Good morning, good evening or even a hello. Imagine that! People staring at you like there was something wrong with your appearance or worse just looking straight through you like you aren't there, like you were invisible. Like you don't even exist. Not even the common decency sometimes to turn away from staring when they noticed you noticing them. Some real brazen bold faced people aint it? A whole bunch of real 'unmarley' people and just for the record being 'unmarley' aint got anything to do with liking Bob's music or even being one of Bob's three thousand 4 hundred and twenty six pickney. Its was just a local bajan way of pronouncing unmannerly.

There was just something so cold about the big city. Something so less community oriented and so individual oriented or was it just that its fast paced nature didn't lend to extending the common pleasentries? Whatever it was it was a different experience for me, one which I might add took awhile to get accustomed to. I still had this deeply inbred nature to want to say Good Morning whenever my eyes connected with random strangers for quite a few weeks after I first came here but as time went on and my greetings were greeted with no response or looks like I was crazy, I was weaned away from this act.

However in the midst of being surprised by this lack of exchange of pleasantries one act of bonding really struck me as being a throwback to what I was accustomed to. That act was the black head nod.

You know the head nod one black person gave another black person who he/she didn't know as they passed on the street. It happened rather frequently back then. It wasn't a verbal means of communication but its meaning was profound. A sort of knowing nod like 'yes brother I see you and you are not invisible to me' or 'a keep your head up son'. It was the black fist, good morning, ' my yout wha ya a say', a pound, a hug and a handshake all rolled up in one and it made me realize back then that despite everything I was not alone in this city. Not that if I got into some sort of distressing situation this complete stranger had my back because we were of the same race but still it was a reinforcement that black folk were/are all brothers and maybe I'm reading a bit too much into it but in a sense it was an act of caring. But greater than this it was just an means to let you know that you were seen. We were going through the same grind, the same hustle, the same struggle but someone had noticed you.

It was an instant act of bonding.

Fast forward a full decade to those days and I'm left wondering what happened to that black head nod? Has it completely disappeared? Nowadays for me its as rare as a warm winter day in Toronto. Like Biggie said 'things dun changed'.

Nowadays my black brothers and sisters are just as apt to stare vacantly through me as if I wasn't there as are anyone else in this city.

Why? What caused that change? What has made us invisible to everyone including our own now? Is it that less of us are immigrants who are accustomed to being friendly from growing up in our birthplaces abroad? Is it that more of us were raised here and have just being immersed in the local customs? Is it that the black head nod has outlived its usefulness? Is it a sign that we are all just weary? What gives?

I have no answers, but its something that I've noticed as the years has gone on. It doesn't affect me the way it probably would have back in the day as I've become accustomed to just the overall unfriendliness of this place where you can live next door to folk for years and never have a conversation with them or where your chummy co-worker can walk right past you on the street because in his/her eyes once you are outside the office there is no context for recognizing you and you are just another random black person.

A so it a go!

We are all invisible men like Ralph Ellison spoke about. But sometimes I wish it was different. At least the black head nod kept us black folk connected by a thread that said I may not know you but I feel connected to you, I can still feel your pain, relate to your struggle and just show you some love with a greeting. Well maybe I'm exaggerating and the black head nod didn't mean all of that but at least it meant every once in a while someone else saw you and you weren't invisible.

Slap!

Oh man I can never leave my job on time. For some reason even though every day I say to myself 'boy you need to leave early after the day you just put in' I still find myself there at 530 or 6pm. Seems like just when I think I'm about to leave there is always some important email or memo to send or document to process.

I'm out! 515pm, that's not bad. For once I should make it home before 7, hell I should definitely even make it before 630, if I'm lucky.

Oh wait I have errands to run as usual. Oh well.

I took a nice stroll up to the subway station. Its drizzling. Just Great. Of all the days to be without a waterproof jacket or at least an umbrella. And my throat was already feeling scratchy this morning after running outside to put out the green bin for the garbage guy in that 2 degree weather. Got to find out if raccoons hibernate so that I can put my garbage out overnight. I sure hope they do. Who was the geni-ass that designed that green bin for the City anyways? Seems like raccoons can pick that flimsy latch open in their sleep.

Anyway, what can ya do.

Almost at the subway and as expected the rain starts to hold up. It figures.

Oh what do we have here today at the subway entrance? Some F.O.I brothers trying to sell that list of books they are always try to sell. As-salam-A-lakim. Salakum A salaam. I always wonder about that list of 'black' books that they have. I think those guys should stick to selling the Final Call or slang bean pies or whatever else they do. I mean don't get me wrong, I got love for them but come on you're not selling the actual books you're selling a booklist. Do you guys realize that this is 2005 and if I wanted to get a list of books I've got google and the internet at my disposal. And I'm not the only one with internet access, its pretty widespread. I mean I can see why you were doing this back in 1994 but yo, wake up brothers, its a new day, you need a new hustle. I'm not paying 3 or 4 dollars for a list that tells me what to read, that 3 or 4 dollars can go towards the actual books.

Step through the turnstyles and go downstairs. Oh man its too early, the subway is going to be crazy packed. Should have bummed around downtown for a while. What luck! There's a train waiting. Seems like its been there a while, must be some delay in the system. Its crazy packed and some folk are on the platform waiting for the next one but since I have no idea how long the next one will be I jump on.

Standing room only. Good thing I brought that discman with the Danger Doom lp. Doom's such a nerd, who else would have a rap line about flux capacitors and Kes and Neelix from StarTrek Voyager. ha ha ha. I've been a fan since he did Viktor Vaughn.

Train starts moving, hmmm I wonder what the crush capacity of this thing is. Will have to look it up. Whatever it is we're pretty close to it. Its hot up in this piece too! That's the reason people get sick. Outside is near freezing and inside is like a sauna.

Wait a minute yo no way! Homeboy over to the side just pulled out a walkman. No not a discman, I mean a real walkman, a portable cassette player. Now that's throwback. What a novelty compared to all the iPods, mp3 players, blackberries, portable dvd players and cd players that I've become accustomed to seeing on the ride home. Whoa that brings back memories of the original mix tapes and the pause tapes I used to make back in the days. Wicked!

Ok we've got a little room to move as some folk empty out at one of the hubs. Looks like I'm standing all the way to Kennedy though. When I leave late I don't have that problem.

What to do what to do. I wish I was sitting so I could read my magazine. Look at that dude sleeping, I wish I was him right now although he looks a little too out of it for my liking. Dune Dune Dune! Well that's what the subway bell sounds like in my opinion. Some sitting folk actually get up this time and leave. Ok some available seats. I'll let the ladies hold those seats first. What's with this dude in the business suit? He just stole that seat from an old lady. Has he no shame. Van Damn some folk just don't have any blasted training. Chupse!

Interesting the types you see on the subway aint it. You've got your readers, your music listeners, your sleepers, your don't touch me I'm a germaphobe-ers, your my bag deserves a seat more than you do-ers, your I just need to unwind-ers, your I'm pretending I'm not here-ers, your I'm too posh to be sitting next to you common folk-ers oh and me your average people watcher. Maybe I'll let out a random sneeze just to confirm who the germophobes are lol.

Ah things to ponder while one is standing holding a subway pole.

Feeling tired. More tired than usual actually, maybe I am getting sick. Oh just peachy! The subway car half empties at Main and Vic Park. Vic Park ah sunshine again or in this case semi darkness since the sun is setting earlier and earlier but at least after Vic Park you see the open air again. You're out of the tunnel. Hmm its Autumn all right, the trees are starting to turn different shades. I'd get excited about that like my wife does except to me it just signals the inevitable that the cold is just around the corner.

So anyway, we pull into Kennedy. I'm standing with my hand high on the pole and bracing for the train to pull in because sometimes the train is kind of jerky in its approach to the platform.

The train comes in rather smoothly as my hand is outstretched behind me holding on and my body is facing the door just waiting for those doors to open so I can escape this underground serpents belly.

The train stops, my hand instinctively releases the pole and gravity drags it downward. A seemingly innocent activity when all of a sudden WHAX! My hand connects with the face of this dude who was sitting in the seat below my hand. He proceeds to give me a screw face. The man vex.

Hey its not my fault I slapped you or as I like to see it you used my hand to procure a slap for yourself. You ran into or rather stood up right in the path of my hand you moron. My hand is on the pole, you see it coming down, wouldn't it have made sense to wait till I moved my hand to get up instead of jumping up immediately right into my hand's path. Dumb ass don't give me that look. Anyway I still swiftly mutter an I'm sorry and head up the escalator. Still got those errands to run. Just another day on Public Transit.

And no flippant comments about the squash game. That was an accident just like this was an accident.

Bang Bang!

First up, thanks for all the congrats and love shown on the last blog. Y'all made a brother feel all warm and fuzzy lol. And the misses says thank you too. She seems surprised that people actually like me but I explained that you guys probably don't know me well so she understands now lol.

'Hey guy, make sure they give you hazard pay'
'Ya kno!'

That was the conversation between my bus driver and his colleague driving the 116 this evening as we pulled out of Kennedy on my way home. It was a way of lightening the moment somewhat after a serious incident which occurred this weekend when a driver was shot in the eye by a stray bullet on that same route.

Its pretty sad actually. Here is a guy doing an honest day's work, providing a public service, and not troubling anyone and he gets caught up in someone else's drama. The result; the lost of an eye. The innocent paying for the sins of the guilty.

Its getting cold here, I thought the gun violence would subside a bit after summer ended but it seems like it may be here to stay. We could be looking at the new norm. How soon before shootings in the T-dot become as prevalent as those in some big cities south of the border and we become desensitized to them?

Quite a shame.

On another note. Yo, my domino bredren was on Jeopardy tonight and won. Knocked off the three day champ even though he clearly had buzzer issues. I know some folk who used to look down on us like we was riff raff when we was always licking sixes! Guh way! Dem never really know the man have superior intelligence and domino is just a stress relief ting. Let me see if those punks have enough sense to even reach Jeopardy let alone win. Big up Dominic! Respect! He'll be back on again tomorrow to defend.

Introducing Jdid Jr

Nope its not a fake. Thought I'd share my news with all you guys here in blogworld. Yep that's right the misses is pregnant and we are expecting a little one ...Specifically that little one in the picture over there come February.

(channeling Kramer) Whoo hoo my boys can swim!

But seriously though if you guys see me on Maury come March you know what that means. The chile aint mine! Lol, I will plead the defense that the ultrasound don't look nothing like me. Look at that picture. That baby head too big! (And I don't want to hear I cant make no sport of the chile, if he/she want to be part of this family he/she better get used to being made fun of. My motto is the earlier I start making fun of him/her the earlier he/she will be accustomed to it.)

I know y'all laughing at my ultrasound defense but I cant claim credit for it. I watched a Maury Povich episode a few years back where a guy used this exact defense as to why he thought the child wasn't his. He came on the show big and bold and said 'this child definitely cant be mine cause the ultra-sound aint resemble me.' Imagine that! Still I may have to use that defense lol.

But yep boy I still remember the day I find out about this baby thing a few months back. Those home pregnancy tests and those damn pink stripes! They let a brother down man lol. I knew I always hated that color.

The above ultrasound was taken around the 3 month mark. You can actually see a fair bit of definition of the baby; lips, arms etc. From that picture, the chile head look real big though must take after my inlaws cause I aint got no big head nor no big headed family. Either that or the wife been cheating on me with Stewie from the Family guy.

But would you believe this, when I went with the wife as she got this ultrasound taken the baby chupse at me!

Yes I aint making it up! The ultrasound lady was showing us the pictures and pointing out arms and head and the rest of the body and the baby lips just puff together just so and let out a big long pouty thing look like a chupse. Well at least we know is a true West Indian baby!

But I did blue vex boy. Imagine me big hardback man, father to be, and a mere embryo dissing de I. What! That is the ultimate disrespect. The chile dissing me before he/she even get into this earth. Start early nuh? When they say that this next generation have no respect at all they aren't lying!

And what get me vexer is see how the mother lay down there and watch the chile getting on so to me and just laughing. Boy it look like I going have to be the disciplinarian and the strict one here cause look how she encouraging bad behavior already. She let the chile get in she belly and chupse up it mouth at the father so. Well well well! Looka muh crosses!

Well boy/girl let me tell you from early, I'm going put some punishment away on credit for you for that chupse. Uh huh, uh huh. Oh ya feel ya bad cause ya hiding in the womb. Well let me teach you this bajan proverb from early 'day duz run till night ketch it'. Boy/girl ya gots to come out sometime and when ya do I will be waiting.

I know y'all over there ready to call children services on me already and saying I cant believe Jdid threatening an embryo. He like he is some sorta big bully or ogre or something threatening a poor defenseless embryo not even born yet. Cuhdear! But see me just cause he/she is an embryo in the womb don't mean I'm going to let him/her get away with this sort of behavior. Yall didn't see him taunting and chupsing at me man. Yall don't know!

Ya have to start from early if not they get out of hand quick quick and next thing ya know I'm on Maury talking about I cant control my 8 year old and I frighten that them beat me and you see the chile there cussing me and hitting me. Naa star nuttin a gwan so! I tekkin initiative from early.

I going to have to be strict. I dont believe in all this beating thing an liks thing but I plan on making sure the chile know which one of we is boss. So he/she chupsing now alright then. Chupse while ya can now cause when ya get here I gine show ya a thing or two. :-)

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Anyway so now I got a embryo dissing me and I also have to put up with a pregnant woman. Women at the best of times are not well understood by me but now this one pregnant so it even worse. Confusion, bodderation, misery. That describes what the woman putting me through all now. Everything that happens she blaming on the baby. Is like she got a built in excuse for everything now and trying to run my blood to water. Well if pregnancy to blame for everything that she doing she must have been pregnant for the last five years or so cause I don't see no change in her behavior. Oh and apparently she would hate if I named the child after me. Boy I don't know how much longer I can deal with this thing, I might not last til February. Come December ya might hear Jdid run way and back in Bim or something so if this thing continue so.

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Before anyone asks me how I feel about the whole baby thing I'll say I'm not as excited as most people expect me to be but I think that's just my way. I'm just not a terribly excitable person. Yes, I realize the magnitude of this event, Its a big big big thing and maybe there is something wrong with me but I'm cool about things. Jump for joy excited no, but thinking about how things will be and all the stuff that the child needs to be taught and the like. Maybe I'm dwelling on the scary things so I cant be as excited as everyone expects who knows. Just hoping and praying that the baby is delivered safely and arrives without any illnesses or defects. So before someone pisses me off like one friend who somehow jumped to a conclusion that I hated children, or didn't want a baby because I simply said I wasn't excited let me just say I'm looking forward to the whole experience. Excited no, looking forward yes. Got it!

Friday

Oh man what a week. Its been crazy so no time to blog although I've had some great blog ideas recently.

Anyway no time to really chat today either but I just wanted to ask how come no one talked about the earth quake in India/Pakistan? Are we all tradedied out? Or is it that it didn't strike close enough to home.

Did you realize that the homeless from this tragedy may actually outnumber the homeless from the tsunami?

And here's a question I just thought was relevant. What happens to the promised aid when another tragedy strikes. I mean countries have deep pockets but its not limitless so if 10 bil is promised for one tragedy but a greater tragedy arises does that means that they pull out another set of money for the other tragedy or do they sort of cut the first aid package. Just wondering out loud because I saw some reports saying that the promised aid to Grenada last year is still just that a promise in the wake of all the natural disasters we've had this year.

Oh and to follow up my last post on phones I just wanted to take a shot at technology in general. Isn't it funny how we've been conditioned to buy a whole bunch of stuff that is really unnecessary? I was referring to camera and video phones last post. This time its the Ipod which now has video. Don't get me wrong I think the Ipod is hot to death! (And if any of my rich blogging readers feel like giving me some gifts like some other bloggers get I aint going to say no.) Anything music related and I've got to stop for a pause. I also know I'm not spending 300 400 bucks on something that small as long as I've still got a discman to keep me company. But now the apple released an Ipod with video this week. I mean having a micro slim music player is cool but how cool is watching miniscule video? I mean last I checked dudes were showing off big screen tvs, no one wanted to watch your 7 inch screen they want the 52" and those type of I'm in the game experiences where you can almost smell the action.

Ipods with video are for posers cause no one can tell me that you are actually seeing with any real clarity any music video on a 1 or 2 inch screen.

Oh just to set it straight I'm not anti technology. I'm just trying to keep things in perspective. I used to be a true technology junkie but then I had a boss many years ago who was totally anti technology and I actually gleaned some sense from what he was saying. I didn't cross over to his way of thinking but it just put things I perspective so while I keep up on the latest I just usually have to ask myself well is that such a useful thing to have first before I go all goo-goo ga ga over it.

Have a great weekend. I'll try to drop a few blogs next week.

By the way was I the last person to hear about Buju going to court for apparently assaulting some dudes.

cellphones

Nowadays everybody and their momma has a cellphone.

And no I'm not here to debate whether that is a good or bad thing although I'll probably mention stuff like connectivity and reminisce on the days back when we had phone booths. (What's Clarke Kent supposed to do now?)

Actually why not let me discuss cellphones for a bit. The good thing about cellphones is the way they keep us connected. Honey I'll be home late, umm hello CAA my car broke down on the 401, Boss man de road dem block up wid traffic ta rathid, I man naa reach work till quarter past 10, mek dat 1030 cause I ave fe stop at Tim 'orton.

Things like that are good reasons why this improvement in technology is a good thing although when you think of it none of the reasons listed above are that life threatening or critical although you could make an exception for the car break down thing. One could always wait till one reached home or work to give an excuse instead of filling the air with all these extra invisible radio wave, sonic rays, infrared beams and the like. Still its good to be connected and to have that comfort with knowing that in an unpleasant situation you have a way to get help. Of course Murphy's law says the one time you do need to make that all important call you'll probably get a message saying no signal or poor reception. A so it go!

And speaking of poor well what's someone who cant afford a cellphone (as well as superheroes) supposed to do now? Phone booths are now all but non-existent. Back in the day a phone booth may not have been on every corner but it was pretty close and gave phone access to anyone with a quarter. Not everyone can afford a cellphone now so that's another divide for the haves and have nots. What like poor folks don't have emergencies? Maybe we need cellphone booths. Hmmmmm.

And think about how crazy its gotten with cellphones over the years as the electronics and telecom companies push their latest inventions at us making us believe we need to buy a new phone everytime they make even the slightest advance in the field. "See the older model was 20 grams but this new one is only 19.5, cant you feel the big difference?"

Yea smaller was better as the giant brick like weapons of the 80s just weren't very comfortable to move around with. But isn't there a limit to how small you really want to go? What's with the devices made for Liliputians these days? Easier to lose so that you need to replace them more frequently I guess. I swear some of the phones are so small that you need a pin or pencil to actually dial a number.

And what's with all the add on features? We have cellphones with cameras, cellphones with radio, cellphone with 1000 ring tones so you can tell exactly who's calling, even video phones. Do we really need any of this? I mean am I really losing out on quality of life because I cant pull out my cell camera and live out my Spike Lee fantasy as I walk down the street. Must every small incident be captured on video for memory? What happened to seeing it with your own eye and re-telling the tale?

Seriously we have so many cellphone add-ons soon we may even have cellphones that will talk to you.

ring ring:
me: 'yo hol on while I answer this rude bwoy. Yes star a who this?
phone: chupse! wha ya mean who dis is? You aint have no manners or what? You mother never teach you bout good morning or hello? chupse! Is de phone man.
me: A wha ya want phone, I tell ya stop harassing de I. Me a busy man ya kno!
phone: But wait. ya mean I tek my time ta hail you up and you getting on so? Well if you wanta be dat sorta way I aint calling you no more. Matter a fact ya see me, doan touch me and expect me ta dial nuh dial nuh more. I aint connecting you wid a fella! all the time you got me calling you pretending dat yu got friends an important business an mekkin you look like a big shot and you getting on so now. Man I dun wid you cause ya aint got nuh sorta manners nor respect fa me. You got me real vex ya kno! You aint know how lucky you is den cause if I had hands I would box ya in ya ears ya kno. You barely lucky dat I is a hands free set!

Imagine that getting backchat from the phone? I'm telling you that's not far away in the future.

And why is it that the more connected we get the more means we use for screening and avoiding people? If you want to avoid folks calling you well you can pay some extra money for caller ID or special rings for individual callers or here's a novel idea turn off the phone, don't carry it everywhere or just don't get a cellphone and you can be inaccessible as much as you like. Oh well.

Wont even talk about inappropriate conversations in public places or phones going off in places where they should be silent as I know everyone who reads this has had that opportunity to see this first hand at least once.

Still like I said this wasn't a blog to diss cellphones. They have their place and I must admit despite all the drawbacks (lets not even talk about the possibility of cancer and all that) that I sort of like them. They are not by any means a necessity for me but I just think its cool how their proliferation means that I can walk down the street and talk out loud to myself without getting weird stares anymore.

Its true! Think about it. Cellphones have made once deviant behavior acceptable or at least given it the appearance of acceptability. I mean honestly when you were walking down the street and someone appeared to be talking to themselves back in the day you were likely to cross to the other sidewalk to avoid them. You would think to yourself 'he head like um off today' or 'I wonder which mental institute he get way from' or as my mother would say when she saw someone talking to themselves 'is de drugs dat got dem young people walking bout half foolishy foolishy.'

But today do you even give someone who appears to be talking to themself on the street a second glance? Nope. You assume that they are on a cellphone so even if you don't see the physical device chances are they have a Bluetooth headset or some other handsfree device plugged into their ear that you cant discover on first glance.

So as a man that duz talk to himself real nuff. I mean have full blown epic conversations, I think cellphones are one of the greatest inventions known to man. No longer am I an outcast (well at least not on the talking to myself thing). Finally I fit in.

And if someone was to ever come up to me and ask who I'm talking to, I can just pretend that my hands free device is really really small and wireless. However I've learned they just don't appreciate the humor when I tell them about my special plan where you get unlimited minutes to split personalities for free.

Girl fight

So yesterday I'm on the bus going across the top of the city when these two little girls get on and run to the back. Looked like two sisters on their way to the mall. Maybe the parents saddled the older one with looking out for her little sister I thought, because I got the vibe that the older one didn't really want to be seen with her younger sibling. She, the older one, was probably about 12 going on 17, trying to look like a little Britney Spears impersonator with crazy attitude for someone her age. Another force ripe yout acting like she was older than she is and like she was cool. The younger one must have been somewhere between 7 to 10 with lots of energy still in that bubbly phase of childhood where you are discovering your limits.

So the bigger one sits right at the back of the bus completely oozing all her self determined coolness and aloofness. Her face says that she so doesn't want to have her little sister tagging along with her. The younger one initially sits on the rails of the bus' back door swinging all around until a lady says to the older sister that that is dangerous and she could get hurt. The older sister gets her to move and the bubbly energetic little girl comes down to the back where the older sister proceeds to try to ignore her. Little sis must be killing her cool vibe.

Not sure who started it most likely the smaller one but they start hitting each other and fooling around on the bus. The younger one had a big mischievous smile on her face all the while as she seemed to be enjoying it quite a bit but the older one still trying to maintain her coolness had this look like cut this out, this is so juvenile and I'm quite a big girl, I really don't want to be involved in this sort of behavior on public transit, it brings down my cool factor by at least 10 points. I was kind of thinking I wish these kids would just calm down but its no big deal I've seen worse on public transit. They'll get tired and it'll stop in a few minutes. It was just one of those sibling tussles I guess but then this encounter became a bit more disturbing. How so? The older sister started cursing the younger sister. I heard the B word once and the f word at least a couple of times.

Folks around me were pretending not to hear and see this behavior but I think everyone noticed. I was like whoa is this kid old enough to be using these words and shouldn't she be looking out for lil sis? I can sort of understand the younger one probably being a little hype going to the mall with big sis but the cursing from big sis. Whoa! What's with the crazy behavior? Instead of fighting back her sister and cursing at her she needs to be setting some sort of example for that yout.

Anyway I think one curse word too many or one punch too many and the little sister quietly drifted to the front of the bus where she disappeared from my view while the bigger sister remained behind trying to regain her coolness. I'm sitting thinking shouldn't she keep a better eye on her sibling. Suppose little girl runs away or gets off at the wrong stop. How's she going to explain that to moms when she gets home.

Lost track of little sister so I have no idea where she is but big sis has shaken off all the hijinks and has resumed her fraudulent 'look at me I'm a cool teenager type' pose.

The bus comes to its final stop and we all pile off the bus. I'm still wondering what if little girl got off the bus before the final stop since in the big crush of standing bodies that came on board since they fought I haven't seen her once since she went towards the front. And shouldn't bigger sister be more concerned about where little sister is. Especially after she done cuss out the yout so.

Well I was rather relieved when I saw little sister at the bottom of the steps waiting for big sister to disembark but imagine my surprise when I realized that she was with mommy and grandmom. Not only that but both mommy and grandmom had actually been on the bus sitting up front. Oh so that's where lil sis ran to! But wait a minute, ya mean ta tell me say your child in the back kicking up crazy ruckus and you on the bus and not a peep from you while one sister cusses the other. Un-frigging-believable!



p.s: Happy Thanksgiving to the Canadian massive.

Hiatus over .....sorta

Its just a blog! Ok got to get back in the game and represent for the T dot. Just going to write for the sake of writing.

First off what happened to my T dot peeps. Marlo's retiring , Star just got back, Urban Sis like she fall asleep, Nat fire the blog, Becks like she unda pressure wid school an ting and Soli disappear too. Oh wait I just realize Soli post. Alright way to go girl.

Yo T dot stand up! what a gwan?

Anyway I'm just brushing off the cobwebs because I 'm rather tired as I write but the urge just hit me so here are is a bit of nothing and some randomness from the mind of Jdid.

Was just reading that Tropical Storm Tammy just formed off Florida

Boy didnt realize dat get post before I was finished.

Anyway as I was saying just realize we down to Tropical storm Tammy. Have we ever gotten that far on the naming convention before? Seems like real nuff storms this year, more than usual.

OK in NBA news my Toronto Raptors traded Rafer "Skip to my Lou" Alston for Mike James prompting this little interlude from me yesterday. Mike James! Who? Mike James! Who? Mike James! who? lol, shut up, its funny to some people.. Just when I thought the Raptors couldnt get any worse. Sigh. So now I've got to decide if its worth the effort to waste cash on a NBA game this season aftermy two year hold out as I refused to put money into Vince Carter's pockets. Hmmmmm.

In other news, I caught Free (formerly of 106 and Park)'s rhyme on the Wait remix with the Ying Yang Twins. Yes I know I should never listen to anything so crappy but it was on a mix I was listening too. Let me just say I think homegirl's been practicing with Lil Kim and Foxxy on the raw to the bone lyrics. Rass my girl came x rated and raw from line one. I had to do a rewind. So she left BET to do this type of crap with those losers. As KRS-one said 'Your career will be as short as my part in who's the man'.

Oh and for the record the Fugees new single sucks big time but then I predicted that last November when I wrote this. They just sound so jaded and believe me I know jdid lol. The song has no life no energy. I mean its sad when Pras is the most energetic dude in the bunch isnt it. Lauren's voice sounds like she's struggling (And I'm not just hating on her this time because I love to hate on her) and there is no chemistry. Stay retired. If you know them tell them read that blog I just pointed to as to why not to come back. You're killing your legacy.

And has anyone heard the first duet from the Biggie Duets albums. Its Biggie and Bob Marley. Chupse! Here I was thinking it was new biggie rhymes cause you know they come out with a new Tupac album every 6 months of unreleased undiscovered stuff. Nope they dust off Biggie's rhyme from Suicidal Thoughts and kinda slow it down and chop it up a bit to fit the beat.

Which brings me to a point (which is a good thing because I was clearly rambling my head off here). Is it a good thing to dig in the crates and release a dudes unreleased sessions when he's dead. I mean ok if he died while recording it and was planning on releasing it then fine I got no problem with it. But clearly some of the stuff was just stuff that a guy did in jest or stuff that he was just practicing at thats unpolished as ever and he wouldnt think is fit for the public. I mean if I died I wouldnt want anyone publishing my unfinished blogs ...especially if I thought they were mediocre and not fit for print. Anyway I think I made this point before on another blog its all coming back to me now. Senility is a thing aint it!

p.s oh i knew there was something else i wanted to talk about. Whats up with Nick Cage naming his son Kal-el after superman? next thing you know celebrities will be naming kids He-man, She-Ra and smurfette. Actually I'm suprised smurfette hasnt made the ghetto baby name role yet come to think of it. These are my two kids Shanenee and smurfette. Ya neva know lol

What more can I say

"If you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose -- you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down.

"That would be an impossibly ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down,"

Former Education Secretary William Bennett



Just couldn't let this one pass (still on hiatus though).

The above were comments made by former U.S Education secretary William Bennett on his radio talk show last Wednesday. You can read some more of what he says in defending himself here.

My first thoughts on reading this article on Friday was the more things change the more things remain the same. Like Kanye said "Racism still alive they just be concealing it" or in cases like this revealing it. I mean I think it was a bit shocking that this was said out loud but I'm sure deep down there are many out there who think exactly the same way. The funny thing is, as a friend pointed out, if a similar derogatory comment was made which somehow involved Jewish people myriad calls would be made by now for charging Bennett with hate crimes or something of the sort regardless of whether it was a comment he said in jest, his true beliefs or somewhere in between.

Anyway what more can be said about this comment? I guess the point of Mr Bennett is that blacks are responsible for quite a bit more than their fair share of crime. That actually cannot be denied as numerous statistics abound as to the number of blacks in jail, the number who are ex felons, the number who have been arrested etc and statistics don't lie now do they.

Mind you these stats don't let us into the inherent bias in the North American justice system where various crimes, especially those drug related or more likely to be committed by a person of color or a poor person are dealt with more harshly than those committed by those of other races or other social standing. For example the harsher penalties related to drug dealing of marijuana, months and years in prison, compared to something like the punishment for dealing exstacy for which even caught with bucket loads of the drug the offenders usually get a fine or a very short sentence. No, these stats do not show these discrepancies nor do they show the general suspicion law enforcement has of blacks and the speed with which a black man will be stopped while a similarly guilty white man may escape suspicion and be above the law while doing an analogous criminal act. Oh no these stats don't show this but then again stats never lie.

But on the real even taking these things into example we as black folks do have criminals in our midst. Full stop!

But what leads one to a life of crime? Are black folks born with a greater predilection towards criminal behavior? Is crime a disease like sickle cell anemia which affects blacks at a disproportionate level? As another friend pointed out is there a crime gene which has been detected moreso in blacks than other races? I don't know Mr Bennett is that your real point?

Maybe as a former Secretary of Education you can tell us about the state of education in the urban areas of the U.S? Do you think perhaps the failing of the education system which spends twice as much per student for most suburban schools as it does for its urban schools with a majority non-white student body has anything, anything in the slightest to do with this greater criminal behavior? Do you think that allowing the urban education infrastructure to fall apart over the years and not investing in it has anything to do with producing more criminals than scholars in certain cities? Naa, I'm probably way way off base here I shouldn't even bring that up. Crime has nothing to do with education or environment in your mind does it?

Then I thought a bit more about these comments. The fact that the man who made this comment, even if it was to illustrate a point, was a Secretary of Education just says something really scary doesn't it? Someone in charge or who used to be in charge of education is saying (to my limited black educated mind) or thinking somehow that education probably wouldn't help blacks. Downright scary. Explains a lot though doesn't it. Why bother with the black kids, they'll just become criminals.

I note also that these 'attacks' on black people have actually become a bit more prevalent lately. The justification given is that they speak out to highlight the 'truth' rather than they are racist language meant to demean an entire race. The justification given is that the black race has its head in the sand and refuses to stand up and deal with these issues within their ranks rather than if we make these types of comments often enough more and more people will believe they are the complete truth.

So why have these types of comments become so popular? What happened to the whole political correctness thing i.e lying not to offend others that was happening in the 90s? Or doesn't political correctness hold when one deals with black folks who are quite comfortable with that n word?

I think it has quite a bit to do with the rudderless-ness which has come to characterize our race over the past decade or so. In the past there was a direction. We sought equality, we sought the right to vote, we sought justice. We had purpose. We had leaders, strong leaders who sought these things along with us. Now what do we seek and who leads us? Our leaders have been killed or discredited. Who leads the way now? Jesse, Sharpton, Diddy, Jay Z?

I find the increasing prevalence of comments such as those made by Bennett a bit disturbing. Despite the outcry against them I believe that repetition wins out and justifies them in the public mind. Not only in the minds of non-blacks but also the eyes of blacks as well. Like the kid whose parent repeatedly tells him that he will never amount to nothing these comments gives us ready made excuses to not try, to become apathetic.

Also, when the majority really believes that statements about the threat of blacks to the society are true what will happen then? Is it too much to believe that a time will come when someone will say that those blacks are a menace and were better off in chains? Will the outcry at first be strong but get muted as these comments prevail? When will the chains descend, when will our children's freedom be taken from them, when will they once again say a black is only two thirds or one half of a white man? When will they say 'what about that slavery thing. That's not such a bad idea. That kept them in check.'

From a certain perspective it seems like this is the path we are taking and its just a mater of time.